What Nursing Taught Me About Life And Death Over the past year I have learned a lot about life and death. I have also had the most amazing learning experience. During my junior year took a nursing class at Boulder Tec. I had always been interested in nursing so I figured it would be a good class to take. I expected it to be just another high school class, but I was very wrong. The nursing class at Tec was an experience that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Ever since I was young I have been around nursing. When I was growing up my grandfather was very sick. Over the course of eight years he battled multiple strokes, cancer, amputation and paralysis, among many other things. For the majority of this time he had a home health nurse that was at the house most of the time. Since I had watched how nursing had been such a big impact on my grandparents' lives, I knew that I wanted to do the same and make an impact through nursing. At first, nursing was just another class. I started to really enjoy the lectures, and the material we covered made me love learning, which was unusual for me. I started to bond with my classmates and I began to make some really good friends. I woke up excited to go to school in the mornings, something I had never experienced before. I noticed that I am a very hands-on learner, and since we did a lot of lab work and hands-on activities I was really into it. Nursing made me want to do better in school. I never missed a single homework assignment, and I was getting A's on all of the tests. Not only did I love what I was doing but I was also good at it. After we had learned all the material we began to do clinicals. We would go out and work as a nursing assistant in the clinical setting. We were working at Boulder Community Hospital and Boulder Manor Nursing Home. Two days of the week we would go to the hospital, and the other two we were at the nursing home. I absolutely loved it. We had the opportunity to work with real people in real situations. It was incredibly satisfying to be able to make a difference in people's lives. I began to bond with a lot of the residents in the nursing home. When you see the same residents for 3 hours a day, 3 days a week you really start to get to know their personalities. There were some great people in the nursing home, and I loved listening to all of their stories. One lady I will never forget is Mabel. She had a lot of character. She was very old and had dementia and she loved to sing. She would sit in the halls and just sing at the top of her lungs! Most of the time she got the words and the tune wrong, but it was still fun to hear her sing. She also always thought she was under attack, when she was sitting in the halls just relaxing all the sudden you would hear, "somebody help me!" in her southern accent. She never really needed help, she just liked the attention. When she didn't get attention, she occasionally became violent. It was amazing to be able to put our skills to practical use. I loved being able to work with real patients, and I knew that I wanted to continue with nursing. While working in the hospital we were able to work in many different areas and floors. This gave us a chance to see what all of the areas of the hospital were like. My favorite place to work was the cancer unit. Since I have had a lot of experience with cancer, it was really touching for me to be able to work with cancer patients. It was amazing to see how humble and content the patients were, even though they had been diagnosed with such a horrible thing. One of the most touching moments that I experienced while working in the cancer unit was when I was asked to shave a lady's head. While I was shaving her head she was telling me stories about her children and her life at the time. She was so happy and excited with her life. It was really amazing to see people who have been diagnosed with such a horrible thing, living so happily. This experience made me see how blessed I am, and how much more I need to appreciate the great things I have in my life. Outside of nursing class everything else was going really well for me. I had great friends who I had a lot of fun with. I was also starting to gain a close relationship with my parents. I knew that I was definitely growing up. I had also made some great friends in my nursing class. One of them was Shelby. She had some problems in her life but she was a really great girl who needed a friend. We shared a few of the same friends, and one of them was Sam. Shelby and I would go and see Sam on our lunch which was always fun. He'd always laugh at us when we showed up in our scrubs. I started to spend a lot of time with Sam, his amazing smile and cute blonde hair drew everyone to him. Time passed too quickly and soon enough nursing class was almost over. It was like I was leaving a family. My nursing instructor had not only been an amazing teacher, she had become a close friend and mentor. About a week before I graduated from nursing class I had an interview for a home health care position. I got the job and I was very excited. I was beginning to start a career in the field that I loved. I was going to be taking care of an 86 year old lady at her home in Boulder. I would go 5 days a week for a few hours in the morning. I was both nervous and excited to start. The time soon came when it was time to graduate form nursing. The ceremony was small, yet sweet. I could feel tears building up in my throat as Mrs. Burger began the meaningful introduction she read about everyone before she announced our name. She had said about a sentence and I knew she was talking about me. It made the event personal and I really appreciated that. Soon after summer started, I began working for the Brexa family as their home health aide. I loved what I was doing for the family, and it is a great feeling to know that the work you are doing is appreciated. I worked for the Brexa family all summer, and soon it was time for school to start again. I wanted to continue the nursing that I started the previous semester so I entered into the internship. It was still through Boulder Tec, and I had the same instructor along with a new instructor for career experience. I went to work every morning as usual, and on Wednesdays I went to class. Everything was going great, I was getting all the hours that I needed to complete my internship, and I was working a great job. Over the summer and for most of the school year so far, Sam's health had been getting worse. He was now back in the hospital, and I thought he was going to pull through like he always did. I kept going to visit him in the hospital, and at first he seemed like his normal self. He had the same huge smile on his face, and he was laughing with us like always. During the month of September his health got even worse. I continued to visit him as often as I could. On Monday the 19th I got a call from Chaz, Sam's best friend, saying that he had 4 hours to live. My first and only thought was that I had to get to the hospital right away. We were rushing to the hospital when we got a second call from Chaz saying that Sam had passed away. I was in shock, and at first I didn't want to believe it. The next few weeks were the worst. I missed Sam more than anything. Although I wasn't my cheerful self, I continued life as normal and tried to make the best of a terrible situation. I was still working for the Brexa's 5 days a week, and it was going great at usual. Soon Mary's health began to decline, and I was needed at the house more. Her health kept getting worse, and one Tuesday morning I went to get Mary up and I knew something was wrong. Mrs. Burger had told us about the death rattle, it's a term used for how a person breathes when they are about to die. Although I'd never heard the death rattle before, and didn't know exactly how it would sound, I walked into Mary's room and I knew that the noise she was making was the death rattle. I stayed with her for most of the day; her husband Joe needed my help then more than ever. We both struggled to sit her up; she didn't want to eat or drink, or even move. As much as I didn't want to believe it, I knew what was coming; Mary was dying. The next day instead of going to school, I went to the Brexa's house to help out with Mary. Some of her family had flown in from Illinois to be with her during her last hours, and they were sitting in the room with her. I laid my hand across her forehead and I could feel her skin growing increasingly cold and lifeless. It was almost as if I could feel the life draining out of her. She looked so peaceful. Her hands were placed across her chest, and she was clutching a cross. Her eyes were gently shut and she looked content. I watched as her chest slowly rose and fell, and rose and fell. As I scanned the room I noticed the faces of her family sitting around her, they also looked at peace. I think Mary knew that it was okay to let go. Mary's chest stopped rising, and we had a time of silence. I felt lucky that I was able to spend time with her during her last days. Mary was an amazing woman who I will never forget. I'll never forget how she was able to greet me with a smile everyday, even when she wasn't feeling her best, and even though her dementia prevented her from getting to know me as a person. After Mary's funeral I began looking for another job so that I could complete my internship. Boulder Manor nursing home, where I worked during clinicals, was hiring C.N.A's (certified nursing assistant). I began working at Boulder Manor, and it was just like clinicals again. I knew most of the patients and staff from when I worked there during clinicals, so it wasn't hard to settle in. I am grateful of the experience of my internship. I was able to grow both as a C.N.A and as a person. I now know what I want to do with my future, and before I took nursing I had no idea. Taking the nursing class was the best choice I have ever made Instead of being afraid of death, I now understand that it is meant to be. Mary had lived a long and happy life, and her body had grown tired. She died peacefully, and it was her time to go. If she had lived for a while longer her disabilities would have made each day a struggle for her. Sam died young, but his death brought people together. His death taught me, and everyone that knew him, to live every day as if it's your last. Experience with death has taught me to appreciate life and everything that I have because nobody knows which day is going to be their last. Through Nursing I learned new things about life and death. Life is better for me when I am helping people, and making a difference in someone else's life. Life should be spent doing what makes you happy, and each day should not be taken for granted. Death is necessary, and it can happen to anyone at anytime.
Copyright © 2006 Natalie Hallworth |