Two Worlds Part 1 "Elisa, your mother is worried about you." He hesitated. "She just wants to help you." He sighed in frustration. It irritated him that he couldn't manipulate me into talking to him like he did to all of his other patients. "We aren't going to solve anything unless you talk to me." I glanced over at him. He was a short, plump, balding man. He frowned too much and looked as if he cared more about his next pay day then anything anyone who stepped foot into his office had to say. I knew though that if I didn't talk I'd end up wasting another day the following week sitting in the same cluttered office on the same puke green couch. "If I do talk you won't believe me and you'll just send me to some nut house." He looked up from the folder in his lap. He had obviously gotten bored with staring at me. A smug look came over his face. "I won't send you anywhere you don't want to go. Now why don't you tell me what's been making you act the way you've been acting lately." "Well, if you really want the truth." He nodded to encourage me to continue so I did. "See, two weeks ago I found out my boyfriend was going to break up with me for my best friend..." I could see the interest drop immediately from his face. I continued on until I heard him snoring. I grabbed my backpack and walked out the door. ******************** I checked my watch. I had twenty minutes. I fastened my pace down the sidewalk. "Hey Elisa!" I turned around to see Cassandra running to catch up. We'd been friends since kindergarten and we were practically like sisters. "Hey Cassandra" She came up beside me huffing and puffing. She finally caught her breath. "Where are you off to in such a hurry? Did you get shrunk? How did it go?" "I'm meeting someone and I'm going be late if I don't hurry up. The shrink was cheap. I fed him my fake "my boyfriend dumped me for my best friend" story and it put him right to sleep. Unfortunately it took almost an whole hour." She smiled. "Next time use the "we had to give my brother up for adoption" one, it's more funny." she was silent for a second. "Well I don't want to make you any more late then you already are. I have to get home anyway. We're having Lucinda our neighbor over." "The "Save the whales" lady?" "Nope, remember the "free spirit" lady. Last time we had her over she tried to teach Brian how to meditate. My mom freaked. This time my mom sent my brother to a friend's house." We both laughed. We exchanged good-byes and I watched as she walked down her street and disappeared around a corner. I glanced down at my watch. Ten minutes. I broke into a run in the opposite direction towards my house. ******************** I hopped the fence and ran down hills and through valleys until I reached the far field. I plopped down in the grass, closing my eyes. Opening them less than ten seconds later I looked at my surroundings. My overalls had changed into a long, white dress. My hair was no longer tied back in a ponytail. I looked out over the hills and saw Tristin coming in the distance. Farther behind him stood a castle. Ivy grew up the stone walls making it look like it had popped out of a beautiful painting. Tristin mounted the last hill and stood smiling before me. I couldn't seem to return the smile. His smile turned into a concerned frown. He sat down beside me. "What's wrong?" "I was just looking at my father's castle and thinking that I never want to lose this life." He ran his hand down and then back up my arm. "What makes you think you will?" "I'll have to choose." A look of puzzlement swept over his face. "What?" "I'll have to choose between my two worlds. I can't live in both forever." "Alex what are you talking about?" I paused for a moment, letting the last sentence said by him linger in the air. He was the only one who called me Alex. The thought made me reluctant to continue. "Tristin, have you ever noticed how sometimes it's like I'm not here." He nodded. "When I close my eyes I'm in a different world. I look the same with the same long, blonde hair and gray-blue eyes but different family, friends. Every time I close my eyes I switch from Elisa to Alexandria but I'm never one person." I looked at his face but I couldn't tell what he was thinking. We'd known each other since we were one day old but for the first time it felt like we were both strangers. He probably thought I was mad. Who wouldn't? I had to get away from him. I couldn't stand to know what his reaction would be so I got up and ran. I could here him calling my name after me but I just kept running until I reached the castle bridge and then I stopped. I could feel tears streaming down my face. I couldn't let father see me like this. He'd ask too many questions. As quietly as I could I sneaked inside and up the stairs to my room. I luckily went unnoticed. I flopped down on my bed and watched the lights change on my wall as the sun went down. How was I going to face Tristin again? He knew the truth and he might not even believe me. Before I knew what had happened I had fallen asleep and had slipped back into Adrian. ******************** I could hear my mom calling my name. I climbed over the fence and ran across the yard in the dimming light. She was standing by the door. "Hey, mom." "Where were you? I've been calling you for the last ten minutes." "Sorry I fell asleep out in one of the fields." I could see that she was worried. "Everything is fine mom. Don't worry about me." She didn't ask about the shrink. I knew she already knew he'd had no luck with me. "Elisa, you know I worry about you. You used to go out in those fields for hours after your father passed away. It just worries me that you still go out there." I slid past her and into the house. "Mom it's just that I can really think out there. I mean it's quiet and there's no interruptions." She just seemed to get a more concerned look on her face. "Mom don't worry!" I gave her a smile to reassure her. "Now what's for dinner?" At the thought of dinner she smiled back at me. "I got your favorite. Pepperoni, thin crust pizza from Dominos." "Mom you know me way to well." The thought made me sad. Mom, say you'll always be with me. I don't want to have to choose between you and the father I also love. I love you. "So what movie do you want to watch tonight?" She motioned for me to go look in the movie cabinet. I watched her walk into the kitchen and then walked over to the movies. "How about a classic?" She walked back out of the kitchen with the pizzas. She sat them down on the coffee table and plopped down on the sofa. "And what classic were you thinking about?" "Wuthering Heights?" She crinkled her nose. I laughed. "Hey it's one of the best! How about To Kill a Mockingbird then?" She gave me thumbs up to that so I grabbed the video and popped it into the VCR. We'd started this tradition ever since I was seven except then most of the movie choices consisted of Lady and the Tramp and Robin Hood. I sat down beside her and laid my head in her lap. These were the moments I wish could go on forever. ************************** I woke up in my big four-post bed. I was still wearing my white dress except now it was crinkled. I got out of bed but then sat back down. I remembered the events of the day before. Suddenly I felt the reality of having to choose between my two lives. In one life I had been raised with a mother I adored and a friend that was like a sister and in the other a father I treasured and a boy I loved. How could I ever choose between them or for that matter give either of them up. I sighed. These thoughts confused me. I didn't know where they were coming from and why I had the feeling I actually would have to give one of my lives up soon. I'd think about it later. First I was going to eat breakfast. I made my way down the stairs and through other rooms and corridors after having bathed and dressed until I reached the dining table. Father was already seated at his spot concentrating on the papers spread before him. Instead of disturbing him I went straight into the kitchen. "Hey honey. Little late for breakfast don't you think?" I smiled at Marie. She'd been our cook ever since I could remember. She was more then just a cook though she was like family. "Sorry, I guess I slept late. You have any bread left over?" She handed me a plate with three slices of banana bread still warm on it. Marie was the only person I knew of who could cook ever kind of bread there was. But that was probably because that was all she could ever get me to eat when I was little and was still pretty much all she could get me to eat for breakfast and lunch. "Thanks Marie!" I called as I went back out of the kitchen and into the dining room grabbing a glass of milk off the counter on the way. I sat down at the table and started eating my bread. I was on my second piece when Father looked up and saw me there. "Good to see you up. I'm going into town today. Do you want me to get you anything special? Books? Jewelry? Little furry animals?" "No. I have plenty of books in the library. Plenty of jewelry that used to be mom's and although I wouldn't mind having a furry little animal, I'm not sure we'd have time to take care of it." He stood up, walked over, and stood beside my chair. "Well if you say so." He stood there thinking. "I'm going to bring you back a gift anyway. I think you deserve one." I smiled up at him. "You spoil me." "I know I do." He started walking out the door but hesitated at the doorway. "I almost forgot to tell you but Tristin came for you earlier today. I told him you were still asleep. It seemed he had something important to tell you so if you don't have any other task to do today besides eat bread and read you may want to cross the fields and see what he wanted to talk to you about." I nodded. Father walked back over and kissed the top of my head then left. The room suddenly seemed lonely, and way too big. I quickly ate my last piece of banana bread then left the room going back into the kitchen. I tried to stay in there as long as I could but finally Marie had to kick me out. I knew I couldn't avoid Tristin forever so I headed out across the grassy hills and fields in the direction of King Henry's castle. ************************** I could hear Andrew in the next room. "Tristin, sir, Alexandria is here to see you." "Thank you Andrew" was all I could hear him mumble. Thirty seconds later he rushed through the door. He looked around and after deciding it wasn't okay to talk inside he motioned for me to follow him outside. We walked until we were on the far side of the west orchard. I sat down on one of the stone bench's lining the stone wall. He didn't make any move to sit beside me. I stared at the ground. I couldn't bring myself to look at his face. I watched as the leaves whirled around through the grass from the wind. The silence between us was unbearable so I broke it. "Tristin, I know you must think...." He interrupted me. "I don't know what to think. I don't know either to just call you mad and not think twice of it or to actually believe you and risk this getting out." The coldness of his voice made me shiver. "Tristin.... I'm sorry. I didn't mean..." "I've known you all my life so I want to believe you but..." He didn't finish the sentence. I couldn't take this anymore. There'd never been so much distance between us. Tears streamed down my face. "I don't know which one's real!" I screamed "I just want to know where I belong. I've tried to figure it all out ever since I was little. I used to think that this was some sort of dream. I just want to be one person!" I was crying full out know. Even though I had my head in my hands I could feel him sit down beside me. I felt his arm wrap around me and pull me toward him. I laid my head against his chest and positioned my head where I could hear his heart beating. He rested his head lightly on top of mine and began stroking my left arm gently. "We're going to find a solution to this. We're going to fix this." I watched as my tears rolled off my face and splattered on his shirt. "I promise" It was no louder than a whisper but meant the world to me. It was silent for a long time. "Tristin?" "Hmmm?" "I love you" He didn't respond for a second. I begin to think that maybe it had been a mistake saying those words. Maybe he didn't feel the same way. "I love you too." He moved away from me so he could look at me in the face. He wiped the tears away that were making their way down my cheek. He ran his fingers through my hair and then he kissed me. It caught me by surprise. We'd never kissed before except when we were eight and had wanted to find out what it was all about. I then realized how long I had loved this man. I immediately kissed him back wanting it to last as long as possible. When the kissed ended, he helped me off the bench and we walked back through the orchards together and with one more kiss I departed along over the hills and fields separating our two castles. ************************** "Elisa?" Someone was shaking me. I opened my eyes and quickly squinted to protect them from the bright light coming in the windows. I tried to focus in on the person next to me but had no luck so I closed my eyes, pulling the covers over my head at the same time. "Elisa?! We were going to the park today remember." I could recognize that voice anywhere. It was Cassandra. All I could get out was a grumble. "Need sleep" "Elisa, it's one o'clock. I think I have been a very tolerate person." I snorted in reply to that. "Okay that's it. You are getting up!" She yanked the covers off of me and sent a series of chills through my body from the wave of cold air. All I did in response to the action was roll around like a dying slug and moan. She sighed with obvious annoyance. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you!" After twenty more minutes of fighting me she finally got me up and dressed. Then she dragged me into the kitchen and tried to get me to eat something besides bread but I did nothing but refuse so she finally gave up and sat down at the table in defeat watching me munch on buttered toast. "Well at least you eat something. Your not getting all your food groups though. It's very unhealthy. You're going to turn out malnutrition." "Cassandra?" "Yeah" "Since I've been your best friend for like twelve years I think I have the authority to say please shut up." She fell silent with a grin on her face. The silence in the kitchen was awkward so I finally gave up and told her to talk again. She then went into a detailed story about last night's dinner with "free spirit" lady and how she had tried to mind read their cat. She finally ran out of things to chatter about and resorted to humming the national anthem. "So where is my mother?" She stopped her off key humming in order to answer. "We both had a BALANCED breakfast and then she went off to run around town. I on the other hand ended up watching Bear in the Big Blue House..." She began telling the whole story on how the bear scared her because once it had told her she smelled clean right after she had taken a shower. I half tuned her in and half tuned her out. My thoughts seemed to be occupied with the kiss I had received as Alexandria. Pulling myself out of my thoughts and back to reality I finally realized that Cassandra wasn't talking anymore but studying my face. "What?" She gave me a small smile. "I always envied the way you could just go into an empty room and just drowned in your thoughts for hours without making any human contact." I laughed. "And that would be opposed to you who wouldn't last a millisecond without SOMETHING to talk about." "Well you don't have to be so mean about it!" With a big grin on her face she pulled me out of my chair. "Come on let's go! I haven't been to the park in ages and I want to see if it's changed any." She propelled me out the door and we started down the street to the park three blocks away. ************************** I situated myself in the swing next to Cassandra watching the little children play on the monkey bars. "Do you think we'll ever stop being friends?" I ran my fingers through my hair. "When we were little we always thought we would be friends forever." I replied "Yeah but things can always change. I mean who can really stay friends forever. Sooner or later we're both going to get married, have children, and move across the country from each other. We'll still call each other friends but really we'll only be acquaintances that meet up at every school reunion." "Cassandra the things you come up with. Well we've gotten through twelve years side by side what's sixty-eight more years given we live to be eighty-year-old grandmas in a retirement home. Think about it, we can even be granny roommates. We can pretend we're still in college." I could still tell she wasn't totally convinced our friendship could last that long. "Cassandra, your my best bud, my only bud. We haven't been able to live without each other so far. The longest we couldn't talk to each other when we got mad at one and other was half an hour. Remember? We tried for an hour but it didn't work." She smiled at the memory. "Your right. I guess we can't live without each other." "Yes, and my mother knows that too. She had that guestroom redecorated into being your room and she made sure that it had a connecting door to mine. She knows that we're inseparable." We both laughed when we remembered how my mom had sat us down one night and declared she was remodeling the extra room for Cassandra because as much time as we spent together it was almost like she had another child of her own. I reached over and gave her a hug and then began swinging, working my way to the highest I could go. "Bet I can beat you!" I gave her an evil grin. "You're on!" ************************** I sensed someone hovering over me. "Mistress? Your father said to awaken you and send you to the living room upstairs." I yawned and stretched. "Where am I?" "You're in the library Miss. Do you want me to start your bath and lay out your night clothes upstairs?" I thought for a moment because I never had liked having people take care of me or have servants around the house. I thought people who hired other people to take care of them were just spoiled and conceded. "If you please will Nancy. Thanks" I decided to go against my beliefs today. Nancy gave me a quick smile and hurried out of the room. I lingered in the library for a few more minutes then left and mounted the stairs and walked at a steady pace down the familiar corridors. I heard my father call from down the hall. "Alexandria, in here." There was excitement and impatience in his voice. I walked into the living room and saw father standing by the fireplace that was only lit in the wintertime. "You wanted to see me father?" "Yes, Alexandria. Remember I told you I would bring you back a present from town today?" I smiled "Yes. I think the conversation revolved around how spoiled I am." He laughed softly. "Now close you eyes. I want this to be a real surprise." Father always brought back exotic gifts for me. Sometimes it was jewelry other times old ancient books or antiques made by the finest craftsmen so naturally I was excited to receive his gifts just as much as he was to give them to me. "Okay open them." "Father!" I smiled so big that it made my face hurt. In his hands was a little orange and white kitten small enough to fit in your hand. "So...do you like it" He was anxious for an answer. "Yes I love it. I never expected for you to get me a real live animal." I ran over to him and gave him a giant hug. He laughed with joy. "Here why don't you hold her." Father placed the cat into my hands and I automatically fell in love with it. I could hear it purring as I petted it gently. "I'm going to name you Avalon." Father and me spent the next two hours in the living room with Avalon. I forgot all about my running bath, my first kiss, or my life as Elisa. All I cared about was being with Father. ************************** "Honey, your summer writing teacher called and said that your last writing was amazing. She said it's so good she's sending it to a publishing company for young writers to see if they'll publish it." My head flew up from the book I was reading. "No! She can't!" I hadn't meant it to come out as yelling but it did. My mom looked at me startled. "Okay Elisa, you didn't have to scream." I looked down at the tabletop. "Sorry" She sighed. "I'll call her in the morning and tell her you would prefer her not to. May I ask why?" I looked up at her. "Because it's personal to me." "Okay." At the sound of the phone ringing I jumped out of my chair and ran over to the phone. "Hello?" "Hey Elisa. I was wondering if I could come over tonight? Mom's having one of her dinner parties and I don't want to be here." "Sure Cassandra. Let me ask my mom." "Mom can Cassandra come over tonight? Her mom's having a dinner party." My mom had seated herself at the table and now was hovering over a Self magazine. "Aww, I pity her. She going to bring the pizza?" I heard Cassandra laugh on the other end. "Oops, I forgot about my pizza peace offering. Tell your mom I'll bring one cheese and one pepperoni fresh and hot. Without even having to say anything my mom replied. "Send her over. She must present the pizza at the door or she can't enter." "Got that Cassandra?" "Got it. See you in twenty minutes approximately Elisa!" We exchanged good byes and I hung up the phone. I took two steps and let out a yelp and fell to the floor. I screamed in pain. Out of nowhere there had come this sudden pain in my chest. It felt like someone was literally ripping me in two. "Elisa?!" I heard my mom scream. She was by my side in a flash. "Elisa what's wrong?" I couldn't even talk I was in so much pain. Tears rolled down my cheeks. "Okay honey it's going to be okay." She got up and grabbed the phone. "Hello? Yes my daughter just collapsed on the floor. Yes it's..." The room began to spin and I could no longer interpret what my mom was saying. The next minute everything went black. ************************** I didn't know where I was. All I saw was white. The walls were white. The floor was white. I walked along the wall and found a door. I tried to open it but it was locked. I must have finally cracked. Elisa finally woke up from her two lives nightmare and cracked. Or maybe I'm Alexandria. That can't be right. Why didn't I remember anything then? I remember lying on the floor in pain but after that it was just blank. Am I dead? The door opened to reveal a white hallway. A guy wearing all white stepped inside. I must be dead or something. Why is everything white? "Leslie..." I started to panic. I backed up into the corner and began screaming things. "I'm not suppose to be here. That's not how it works. I should be Alexandria now or Elisa. But I'm neither. What is this place? What's happened to me?! Why are you calling me Leslie?" The guy stood patiently and calmly in the middle of the room, the door now closed. "Leslie calm down. You're not in danger. If you calm down I'll explain." My screams reduced to low whimpers and I sank down to the floor still pressed as far as I could get to the wall. There was something comforting in his voice. "Leslie I know this must be confusing since you've lived your whole life switching from Alexandria to Elisa. Every time you would close you eyes in one world you'd switch to the other. You have family and friends you care about as both people. I know you've felt the urgency to choose between the two worlds in the back of your mind but you didn't know what it meant but know I'll explain it to you." I just sat there staring wide-eyed at him. "You're neither Elisa or Alexandria, your Leslie. Leslie, I'm your keeper. I've watched over you every since we were both five. Sometimes you could feel my presence and you'd turn to see that no one was there." He could tell I didn't understand. "Here let me explain. There are beings among the humans that they are unaware of. Our race of people skip from dimension to dimension or world to world. Our race of people is called the Laykians. There are the Three Elders who rule our people. It's The Elders who choose which ones of us will become keepers who watch over their assigned watcher and those that will become watchers who go from one world to another. One keeper and one watcher are paired together from the start and most times for life but none may become emotionally attached." He paused a second to let me absorb what he was saying. It wasn't making any sense to me and it simply made me scared. It sounded like some messed up story out of a book. "The Elders chose to put you in the human world between the modern time dimension and the mid-evil dimension. Watchers are suppose to be unaware of their real background to learn more about the different cultures until they're seventeen, which you are. The first meeting with your keeper is represented by the feeling of the separation of two worlds." I felt a little bit relaxed that I finally knew why I had always been different then everyone else and I knew I couldn't pass this off for a dream because I never had any. If I fell asleep or was knocked out I would automatically enter the other world. I looked around the room. But that relaxed feeling was still over come by the feeling of wanting to be home. When would I leave this place? I wanted to be back to my regular way of life. I wanted to see Father, Mom, Cassandra, and especially Tristin again. I didn't want to be here and I wouldn't mind if I never returned. "We're trained to know what you're thinking during this first meeting. I suppose you want to leave and go back to at least one of the worlds that you've grown use to and even fallen in love with. Well you can go back whenever you want. Your not being held here against you're will but I must warn you that you have two choices you have to chose between before your eighteenth birthday. You can either choose between the two worlds or you can come home." I finally got up the nerve to speak. "To what?! A white room. I miss the fields I played in when I was little. I miss the feel of the breeze. I miss my family and friends. I want to go back now!" His face possessed a sad look at the last statement. "Very well. You'll be summoned into two more meetings. You have to make your decision by the last meeting. Close you eyes." Not saying a word I voluntarily closed my eyes. "Now open them." I opened them and I was sitting under an old oak tree. My Father's castle was in the distance and Avalon in my lap. ************************** During the next few days I pushed all thoughts of the white room out of my mind. But I felt that presence lurking around me and I felt the pressure to make my decision. I avoided everyone. As Elisa I was in the hospital. My mom would make short visits when she could but she had to work and the doctor wouldn't let her stay long. As Alexandria I stayed in my room most of the time or out in the fields. I hadn't seen Tristin in a long time now and although it bothered me I couldn't bring myself to call for him or visit his castle in search of him. I loss my appetite, my smiles, and my emotions. I was expressionless most of the day. Mom and Father would worry and I couldn't do anything to reassure them I was okay. "I wish I was that skinny. She has like not an ounce of fat on her." Cassandra looked up from the People magazine. "Hey Elisa, you okay? You've been really distant ever since you collapsed. The doctor said you'll be fine." She whistled and waved her hands around in the air. "Hello? Elisa? Anyone there?" I turned my attention from looking out the window to Cassandra. "What?" "Elisa, I'm worried about you." "Don't be. I'm fine really." I looked at the clock on the wall. "You better go it's almost time for your meeting with that art college lady and you defiantly don't want to be late because that never gives a good first impression." I gave her a small smile and watched as she slowly gathered up her things. Right before she was out the door she turned around. "You know that you can tell me anything no matter what it is." With that she turned and walked out of the room. I laid my head back on the hospital's itchy pillows. I should have asked mom to bring me mine off my bed. I winced at the thought. Like whether I have itchy pillows or not really matters anymore. I turned sideways toward the window and closed my eyes. ************************** "Welcome back!" I opened my eyes and saw white walls. I groaned. "Good to know you enjoy it here." My "keeper" gave me a sly smile. "I'm not ready to make a decision yet." "That's okay. You don't have to make one till the last meeting and I'm here to help you decide anyway." He outreached his hand toward mine. I just stared at it. "Come on take my hand. I'm going to show you Laykia, our main world. You can't make a decision blindly." I placed my hand in his and suddenly got this familiar feeling. **************************
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