Buying Souls For Fun And Profit
D L B Monk

 

Soul Contract

This contract is to officially enact the exchange of the immortal soul of the party of the first part, here on referred to as YOU, for goods and/or services from the party of the second part, here on referred to as ME, as agreed upon by both parties. The signers of this contract consider everything referred to within this contract binding and permanent and are under contractual obligation to comply with all terms herein.

I. Exchange
The signers of this contract agree to the exchange, fair or otherwise, of one immortal soul from YOU for the good(s) and/or service(s) from ME. Whatever the good(s) and/or service(s) provided are does not affect the integrity of this contract, so long as both signers YOU and ME agree to the terms provided as proven by the signatures inscribed at the end of this contract. Signing confirms that both parties understand what is to be exchanged and contractual obligations cannot be broken or made void any time after both parties have signed. Delivery of immortal soul is made immediately upon signing and is not dependent on receipt of the good(s) and/or service(s) agreed, but should the good(s) and/or service(s) not be delivered within 1 year of delivery date agreed upon in signing, immortal soul shall be returned in condition approximating the state in which it was delivered, except in the extenuating circumstances whereupon the good(s) and/or service(s) did not have opportunity to be delivered such as change in location or lack of communication of the party of the first part.

II. Rights
The signers of this contract each are ensured with certain rights as described herein. YOU have the right to do with the delivered good(s) and/or service(s) as YOU wish, so long as it does not interfere with any of the other clauses of this contract. The rights of ME as described in this contract allow ME to do anything and everything with said immortal soul, which includes and is not limited to desecration, corruption, conflagration, defenestration, mastication, urination, and/or giving or selling said immortal soul to any of the party of the second part�s choosing (so long as another contract is written up describing the conditions of new ownership). Any limitations on these said rights can be included in Addendums, and must be expressly described, understood, and signed for by all involved parties. Such are the rights ensured by this contract concerning both parties.

III. Death
Upon the death of ME, the aforementioned immortal soul shall be immediately returned to YOU in the state closest to the condition in which it was delivered. This is designed to be the final escape clause, as neither ME nor YOU wish to make this exchange eternal (unless otherwise written, understood, and signed upon in Addendums). However, to prevent possibilities of foul play, should the death of ME be an act of murder with the express or secondary intent of acquiring said immortal soul, all conditions of this clause are rendered false and the soul shall permanently and irrevocably belong to the party of the second part without hope of reprieve (except in such conditions as described within this contract). This is understood and assumed agreed upon the signing of this contract by both parties.

IV. Return
The party of the second part reserves the right to return the immortal soul at leisure. Should this be the case, the aforementioned immortal soul is returned in whichever state seen fit by ME, and no secondary exchange is required by this contract. However, certain other restrictions apply, as described in Threat Clause and possible Addendums contained within this contract.

V. Contract Integrity
Should this contract be physically destroyed whether through an act of malice or accidental means, all of the conditions described in this contract remain valid and binding up until and beyond the point a new contract is created, agreed upon and signed. This is designed to prevent both foul play and accidental destruction of the contract causing the return of said immortal soul outside of the conditions set and signed for by both parties. If a new contract is never signed within the lifespan of both parties, all conditions are assumed still valid, and all contractual obligations are still applicable. Pending creation of second contract, discussion may be held as to the conditions of aforementioned destroyed contract, and changes may take place so long as they are written, agreed and signed by both parties, as well as working within the confines set by the Threat Clause of this contract.

VI. Threat
Should ME ever feel threatened by YOU concerning this contract, the immortal soul, the good(s) and/or service(s) agreed, or anything else that may arise, including but not limited to blackmail, extortion, threats on the well-being, property, or friends of ME, and/or bribery, said immortal soul is permanently and irrevocably the property of ME for all eternity, except in such conditions described in this contract. Any attempt to change the conditions of this contract will lead to the consequences mentioned above. Any attempt to forcibly coerce ME into changing the conditions of this contract will lead to the consequences mentioned above. This is designed as a deterrent against any foul play that may be in retaliation of refusal to return soul outside of contractual guidelines. The signing of this contract is assumed to be of sane mind and free will and as such are confirmed to be permanent as described by the terms of this contract, and any attempt to later change or defy contractual obligations shall be dealt with in the manner mentioned above.
All claims by YOU to have been pressured, cajoled, threatened, or coerced into agreeing to the terms and conditions of this contract are rendered null and void upon successful signing of this contract by both parties.

VII. Religious Superposition
Should the terms and conditions stated herein come to be refuted or made null by a religious official of the highest order such as Pope of the Catholic faith or any comparative positions of esteem of other religions, all tenets of this contract are to be accepted as null and void and the soul returned in a state most resembling the condition in which it was delivered. However, it requires express desire on the part of the religious official to destroy this contract, and may not be open to interpretation.

VIII. Addendum
This section describes limitations on additional sections that may be added to this contract. These additions are limited to two (2) possibilities.
     Sub-Paragraph 1
First, both signers ME and YOU may agree to add a section describing limitations or opportunities of this contract not limited to the terms set above, such as return of immortal soul within a certain time limit or upon the completion of a certain task. All terms set within this type of Addendum are considered contractually binding and must be written, understood and signed separately from the main body of this contract, but must be included before the signing of said main body.
     Sub-Paragraph 2
Second, the party of the second part may choose to include a HIDDEN Addendum, described as being an opportunity not required to be revealed to the party of the first part. This may include opportunities for YOU to regain immortal soul upon completion of a certain task or time limit, but cannot and are expressly forbidden to restrict YOU from getting immortal soul barring completion of a certain task or time limit. For example, an Addendum may be created describing the conditions of return should YOU ask for immortal soul at midnight in a full moon, but cannot and are expressly forbidden from restricting return of immortal soul unless YOU ask for immortal soul at midnight in a full moon. In this scenario, assuming compliance with the above rules and all other terms of this contract, only the party of the second part is required to write, understand and sign this HIDDEN Addendum, and is under no requirements to reveal HIDDEN Addendum to YOU. Again, all terms set within this type of Addendum are considered contractually binding and must be written, understood and signed separately from the main body, but must be included before the signing of said main body.

IX. Amendment
This contract may be amended after signing upon the express request and agreement of both signers ME and YOU. Upon agreeing to the creation new terms and conditions and/or the elimination of other terms and conditions described in this contract, both parties are to sign new contract, assuming full and complete satisfaction with new contract. Amendments may alter any part of this contract without restriction so long as both parties are in agreement and sign as such. All new terms and conditions upon signing are contractually binding.

X. Signing
The party of the first part described as YOU, having read and understood the contract above, and being of sane mind and free will, hereby signs this contract confirming agreement to all terms and conditions of said contract. Under no conditions not described in this contract is this agreement to be terminated or altered in any way, shape or form, as confirmed understood and agreed to by the below signature.

X ____________________ Date __/__/____

Please print above name:

______________________

The party of the second part described as ME, having read and understood the contract above, and being of sane mind and free will, hereby signs this contract confirming agreement to all terms and conditions of said contract. Under no conditions not described in this contract is this agreement to be terminated or altered in any way, shape or form, as confirmed understood and agreed to by the below signature.

X ____________________ Date __/__/____

Please print above name:

______________________



 

 

Copyright © 2003 D L B Monk
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