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Short Stories - Reviews |
Astralution by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Once again, pretty heavy...your thoughts are taking you where you are suppose to go...it is all a journey. Enjoy the journey on the way to its destination. 'When the student is ready, the teacher will appear...'" -- C.L. Mareydt. "dfdfjkdkf....man, you're bad. " -- sdfsdf. Revelation by Mia Angello (3) "This young woman seems to have a great deal of passion and heart as well as talent. I hope she visits this website more often. A breath of fresh air. " -- david b. byron, vincennes, ind., US. "Mia Once again, your song writing potential shines through, need to work out a few rough edges, same with "Part Werewolf" but all the basic's are there for solid songs that grab you! " -- Monte. "I agree with Monte. He seems to keep finding the same pieces that I find on here. Scary." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Astray by Mia Angello (2) "To want. I can relate. Sometimes we want things that we should never have. " -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Its going to be a great song someday." -- Kristopher Van Styn, madison, WI, United States. Love Found by Mia Angello (4) "Nice work Mia! I can hear the song in my head and feel the heartfelt emotion in your lyrics. May I suggest that you work your hook which you started with in the first verse by repeating in bettween your other verses for balance...then fade...good job! Keep writing and thanks for sharing your song. " -- Monte. "Very Sweet :), I think it has poetic beat and emotion, nice work!" -- Dennis O Kanan. ". . . all it needs is a melody" -- Dennis O Kanan. "I like the transition between your works. You remind me of me. :-)" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Part Werewolf by Mia Angello (1) "A lust for the darkness. I can relate. " -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Clouded by Mia Angello (4) "Another splendid piece! A handful of raves and hoorahs for Miss Angello! The heart does speak louder than the keyboard!" -- david b. byron {Doc}, vincennes, knox, ind. "Crushes make life difficult don't they?" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "This is a great piece Mia! I can relate this to an actual relationship I just let go of. Interesting. " -- JM. "I felt this, been there. Beautiful lyrics." -- Charlie Townsley. Jack, He's Mine. My Jack by Amy Mondure Lioncourt (2) "Very interesting and kind of eery. The words are wonderful, they give a clear picture. I love it. " -- S. "Dennis and Jack are only half right. In order for a writer to look into the mind of a character, especially one based on a real life figure, the writer must first know who the figure was, but since the identity of Jack the Ripper is uncertain I don't see how a writer could accurately capture it." -- Quotesmith. Dying Loving by Cass (1) "Not to criticize, but in order to call a work a song you must rhyme and your chorus must have the title in it at least once. You grasp word usage and prose style alright, but you do not have a lyric style. I only want to help not criticize... work on it , look at printed lyrics on cds and listen to LOTS of music." -- Brion' O Neil. Window Of The Heart by Cass (2) "Although 'window to your heart' is an over used line it did not detract form the song - which I found appealing. Good rhythm too." -- Ulysses Hero, England. "Your verses and your chorus are indistinguishable. It sings like four verses instead of a verse and a chorus. I know that rhyming is not always necessary in a song but form is and so is structure. Poetry in contrast does not have to have form and is not restricted to a definite structure." -- Wesley McCants, Cincinnati, Ohio, USA. Only For A Moment by Katherine Gehl Donovan (3) "This song expresses the emotion very well. Maybe there's a lesson to be learned from it. Either way it's great" -- Pearl. "Yeah there is a lesson never trust anyone. " -- josh. "its a great song to relate to. really." -- candy. Old Willow Tree by Cass (2) "Sorry Cass, your way off the mark with this one. There are too many words that don't add any feeling to the song. Scale it down a touch. Secondly, your lines / sentences need to flow easier. After all that I still enjoyed the image of life passing bye an oak tree. " -- Ulysses Hero, England. "I'll never look at an oak tree the same way again." -- Steven . My Voice, My Song by Katherine Gehl Donovan (2) ":) an honest tune, with it certain depth. I liked it. " -- Dennis Kanan. "i really like this... its kind of motivational... its got potential... like it lots!" -- Katie. Journey To Over by Mia Angello (1) "The asylum of one's soul can be lonely." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Fortress by Lawrence Peters (1) "YOU ARE TALENTED! But you need lyric form and a defined chorus and the title within the chorus...their rules. Look at the form on some printed lyrics in some CDs... research lyric style." -- Brian O Neil. Roses And Cookies by Kirsten McManus (1) "Oh wow, you make me revel(sp?) in the beauty of love, and Im glad to make a cameo once again, your the bestest...and I do believe we have the best boys, and I cant wait to see all your ________" -- *her*. Cult Ticker by Insane Man (1) "News ticker " -- Nadeem Ullah, Karachi, sindh, Pakistan. Nsync's Christmas Carol by Rose Trimovski (1) "Funny. I'm sure this song will get lots more hits and reviews in the future." -- Steven T. I Just Feel, I Just Want To Say... by Ivonne Le�n Vonchyta (1) "I love the lyric!" -- Bratsha, Lima, Lima, Peru. For B. by Lawrence Peters (3) "With a smile on my face, and a tear streaming down it, I savored every word. B" -- Betty-Ann Sherer, wingdale, new york, usa. "Truly beautiful" -- Dan Campbell, wingdale , ny. "Don't suppose this will win any literary awards, but you made your sister cry and brought tears to my eyes so it gets a big blue rosette from me. I have a brother who lives within five minutes walking distance from me, I don't think I'd know him if we passed on the street. I haven't seen him for over nine years. He was my hero when I was a little girl, just as I suspect you were Betty's it sounds as though you still are. I wish I could heal the rift with my brother but it's been too long. Bless you both and happy Birthday Bettey. This ones got to be worth an eight just because it made someone happy. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. Sun Rays Into My Heart by Cass (1) "Nice lah...but i nv hear the music, so dun really know." -- XJ, Sg, SG, SG. So Far Away by Christy Mack (3) "I really like this song...I can relate to it. Great job!!" -- Karen, USA. "Just rereading some of your work after not having been to this site in a very long time. You were always one of my favorite authors here. I sure would like to see more postings from you. I always related so well to what you wrote. This one was certainly no different." -- JM. "This is a very touching song...I felt it go right to the center of my heart. You have a very special gift; hold on to it!" -- Mia Angello, WI, USA. Deceived by Cass (3) "I could feel the pain in the truth of your lyrics. Well Done!" -- mia angello, WI, USA. "The words dont go together very well, you should spend more time on your works." -- Chris Carpenter. "decided your mom. " -- dfd. What Is Like To Not Have Love? by Musau (2) "POEM !" -- Harry. "Harry!!! Show me some of your stuff! Do you got anything, amigo?" -- MUSAU, Los Angeles, California, USA. Let Me Sing My Song by Musau (7) "No, I won't let you sing your song cause you're horrible. I'm calling the cops. Your sining is all pissing us off. Got dang, go away. " -- sdfsd. "Don't call this a song! It is at best a terrible "forced rhyme" poem. You have no form, no chorus and short-choppy lines. Do some research and look at some written lyrics to published songs, to get an idea of what's going on." -- Harry. "Anyone who would watch ducks mate has got to be a sick son-of-a-bitch.Stop making a fool of yourself and by a book on writing poetry,they do exist." -- David. "if it is your own idea its good" -- tinku, Chennai, India. "This is the author. David and sdfsd are quite interesting. Both of them should re read their own comments. I must say, both tend to look like idiots. An idiot in a glass house should not throw stones." -- MUSAU, Los Angeles, California, USA. "This is for Harry. Show me some of your stuff, chump. I don't think you have the courage nor the talent. You could learn a few things from me, but minds like yours usually die in ignorance." -- MUSAU, Los Angeles, California, USA. "Well, I have searched this website only to find that David is my best fan. So, now I guess I will conclude here and continue to pursue my day and night time job. But us writers have to rest, too, you know. I don't know about the phonies who claim to be." -- MUSAU, Los Angeles, California, USA. It's Called Love by Musau (3) "The descriptions are crisp. I felt like I wanted to change the ending to read " It's like a glove you wear in the cold-- and need to hold." Nice job!" -- mia angello, Mt. Horeb, wi, usa. "Hey Mia! Are you on medication? "They call it love and it's like a glove" Do you actually think that's good poetry. Sweetheart, if you think that's good then I would really like to read some of your stuff." -- David. "Each line is true, in what love can do and cause. "you wear it like a glove, you wear it in the cold" and "A need which you hold" I suppose this discripes the feeling of love - the warmth, the togetherness ect. It is different - l loved it. " -- linda, Halifax, Leeds. If I Stood On God's Right Hand by Musau (3) "Yo big M! How the hell can you preach to God? You would be his "Main Man?" "I'd know about all those folk?" What does that mean? What language are you writing dude? Because it sure ain't english." -- David. "Just pray a little every day and God is always there for you always. My advice to you is to read the Bible, you don't have to ask questions the truth is the Holy Bible. Be on the right path and everything else will follow. You will have a new meaning to life. God bless you - you think about God and God is in your heart. " -- Amy, Hayes, UK. "Yes, David. I believe in God, and His Holy and most precious name is ALLAH! God is the Greatest! Beleive me ALLAH is GREAT!" -- MUSAU, Los Angeles, California, USA. I Don't Bother Nobody by Musau (4) "You don't bother anybody? You're bothering me with this garbage you keep putting out on this site.Another correction in english. It's "I don't bothher anybody" not "nobody." If your going to write poetry at least learn to write proper english." -- David. "Oh come on David, You are reading all his work, you must like it. So what if he is using a bit of slang in his peotry." -- jacky, Helsinki., Holand. "Its good to know that you don't bother nobody, You are entitled you your own opionion. I enjoyed reading this peice. " -- Jane, Copenhage, Denmark. "David!!! Do you work for an intelligence agency? Could it be the agency for non intelligence? Since you keep reading all my stuff, you should, at least, say something positive. Or is it your job like "Mission Impossible" to discredit or destroy a subject. But your Task Team is so damn stupid!!!" -- MUSAU, Los Angeles, California, USA. How Do I Feel? by Musau (2) "This started out a little better but then it died."Oh,how I love you my sweet amore-I promise to you to never bore." What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Listen guy I don't mean to be crude but you have no business being on this website and whatever you do don't give up your day job." -- David. "David, you really inspire me. Idiots like you is the reason that moves me to write. If you look at all your trashy comments, you will see that I reacted quite firmly. You must fight fire with fire. And it's always good to know your enemies even whe they smile in your face." -- MUSAU, Los Angeles, California, USA. Blissful Apathy by Nathaniel B Hargreaves (2) "You are an excellent writer, Nathaniel B Hargreaves, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado. "Well I have to agree with one thing the sender above says, You are an excelent writer. I saw a documentary last night about Bernie Taupin he started writing poetry when he was in school and answered an advert in New Music Express to put his words to music, within a very short time he was within a very short time one of the greatest lyricists ever. Your words are raw like his early stuff and your writing reminded me of him, That's one hell of a compliment. Do you write the music too? 7/10" -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. A Glint Of Warmth by Cass (1) "Uh oh, looks like you suck. WWRRRONG!! You suck, got dang, go away. " -- dfk. Hells Fire by Chris Carpenter (1) "Very nice. I think that this is the best song on this site. WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!" -- Jeff Sullman. If Only I Hadn't Said A Word by Alicia Marlene Dean-Hunter (2) "I really like your song. Has a flow to it, and the lyrics are true and sweet. Good Job :)" -- Dennis Kanan. "Your song is poor in style and tone. Words like SCREWED are out of context with the other words. These are poor style and tone skills. I learned to read and write music and you have to use the same style of wording once you start your song. E.g., "I love you and I always will. Your love is all that I feel. Don't leave me now can't we work it out somehow?" All the words have the same style and tone quality. Now read this comparison: "I love you and I always will. I ain't feeling yo stupid thrills. Gown fool you's crazy or on drugs!!!" The first line of the comparison sets the tone and style after that the tone and style changed completely and is a turn-off!!! " -- Wesley McCants, Cincinnati, Ohio, USA. For You by Juned Ahsan (1) "Very nice! I liked ur lyrics, they have a very nice flow" -- Dennis O Kanan. Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 |
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