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Short Stories - Reviews |
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Short Stories Reviews |
The Happy Housewife by April Griffin (14) "this was a very difficult read but it kept me glued to each word. i know this does go on but can't even begin to imagine the feeling of hopelessness. i hope this was an active mind at work and not an experience. one hit is one too many." -- Just A Guy. "this was difficult to read,when it was 1st shared with me.Now it's being shared here,which despite what i know about the artist, additionaly reassures me that she has moved past it. Awesome,and powerful to say the least!!" -- naked, austin , texas, us. "This was wonderfully written all the way to the last word. My only hope in completing it was that it was fiction; although I am not so naive to think it isn't someone's reality. Just hopefully not yours. Your writing is compelling and strong and keeps the reader at the edge. I look forward to more from you." -- KM (Michelle). "This a sad story that even angered me but it managed to keep my attention. I payed attention to every detail wondering why this had to happen to a seemingly beautiful and smart woman. This short story was written very well and I would like to read more rom this writer." -- Irving Lopez. "This essay was powerful and moving. I felt the pain and despair the �housewife� (and author) probably endured. Compelling to read!" -- Joe, Naperville, IL, USA. "I liked the essay because it is something that a few women can relate to. I felt the pain the woman was going through, how is it that a strong woman turns weak? At times I got lost in the story but I understood the meaning of it and I can imagine what will happen next. "The Happy Housewife" was a real 'joy' to read and brings a real since of truth to life. I look forward to more." -- Lynn, Chicago, IL, US. "I feel that the begining of this story should have been more attention grabbing. There is alot of good material and abuse is a great topic. What I liked was that it let you in on the woman's perspective." -- Rebecca, Chicago, USA, IL. "This story made me cringe as I read it, but forced me to realize the harsh reality that many women face. The story was filled with vivid detail which made me feel the woman's pain." -- Meghan, Chicago, IL, USA. "This depiction of an abused woman is graphic! The detail given in the story helped me to feel and see what the house wife had to endure. This is probly as close as you can get to the emotions and thought process of an abused woman without being one. As a man and father it sickens me to think this happens on a daily basis to thousands of women. I hope that if there is a woman in this situation who has read this finds solace in the knowledge that she is not alone. I would also hope this would nudge her to seek help for herself. To the author.... EXELENT JOB! Thank you for the insight. God bless" -- juggalo. " I feel so sad for the woman who have to go through abuse like that. Its that type of story where you just want help woman that are in that kind of state. I thought the story was well written and you discribed it so well. I hope you write more on it. Maybe this story will help battered woman. Hope it does tho." -- Timothy, Miramichi, New Brunswick, Canada. "I had a friend who tried to leave an abusive lover. They were not even married. She got away from him. Used restraining orders and tried to get help from the police. He kidnapped and killed her. I hope this story has a better ending." -- Chris. "i had to do a short story assignment for school & as i was searching the web for one i found your "the happy housewife" i couldn't get it out of my head & then i thought i had found something else but again was yours as well "eternity" you are so talented i wish i could right like you,i just love how you express your feelings/characters feelings into words its awesome keep up the great work & its awesome to show how your canadian so am i! isn't it great...eh?" -- Jenn. "This is a good story, though as others have said, it's hard to read. I have been through things like this - but I did get out. I would love to have seen some hope for Kayla - but it's the more powerful a story, for the fact that there isn't... " -- Debbie Kean. "Wesley - it's not that easy! If it was would there be battered women - NO!!! I know how this woman feels and she feels vulnerable and most of all guilty (hence the '...I'm so sorry' and she meant it' line. She genuinely believes it is her fault. Also, from the subtext you can see that she is protective of her children so more than likely wants to keep her kids safe byt deflecting the blows herself. I agree with most of the other readers, a tough subject but handled brilliantly - I really enjoyed reading this piece although it stirred up a lot of memories." -- Rather not say, England. Mind's Shadow by J Shartzer (6) "I couldnt read it all right now so I printed and read it later hope thats okay...I know it will be good dont worry about that." -- Ericka. "Very good. I like the ending even better now...wonderful job Josh." -- E. "Wau! This story will make you cry. It makes me feel angry to see how the lives of perfectly good people can end in a second. Life can be so unfair." -- BV. "THIS IS A TOUCHY STORY THAT WILL MAKE YOU CRY. ITS A VERY GOOD STORY WITH AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE. I HIGHLY RECOMEND YOU TO READ IT. IIT WILL MAKE YOU THINK TWICE BEFORE TAKING DRUGS" -- BV. "Fantastic!. You have really portrayed "what happens" when a person takes drugs. Superb!" -- Avis, Mumbai, India. "When I wrote this piece I hadn't intended it to have have a moral, but it did. I think that's kind of funny." -- J Shartzer. Your Little God Is Pooh And Creepy Too by Xoggoth (1) "This story is all over the board man. The Big bang, the revelation and them you add the part about drinking tea and watching Sponge Bob Square Pants, not to mention a buddha who suffers from incontinence! Are any of those things related in any way? no. I have to give you credit though, it is an interesting mix, but this story comes off as totally weird and trying to make some random comment about society. What's does all that mean? This story makes no sense! However I don't think it was supposed to. I'm not surprised, it's written by someone named Xoggoth. The Greek Pokemon type characters were sort of funny and the line about the Buddha crapping his pants made me laugh, so I guess this was a worthwhile read. " -- Steven. The Three Rotten Sisters by Christopher W Sorenson (2) "Ha ha ha. very well written, if a trifle 'gross' at the ending. LOL. Love your style. U r very good. The story is not much..but the style makes it very funny. U hv the gift of being comic. keep it up. I'd also like a review of my work on storymania. :)" -- Avis, Mumbai, India. "Sorry, but i thought your short story was a little...umm...unoriginal. Obviously the men were going to kill the sisters. The twist at the end wasn't really a twist. Maybe if the sisters would have killed the men instead of the opposite. Then that would have been a twist. And HOW did the men kill the sisters. There is no suspense in the story. What happened?" -- Karina, chicago, il, usa. The Come Back by Bryan Meckley (1) "I really liked the story. I thought it was very realistic, and I liked that I could feel as if I was in the bathroom. I felt I was right there next to Vincent, and at times I felt as if I was in Vincent's mind feeling his pain by staying 'alive' and in this world. I thought the story was very creative and daring with a very strong message. The only thing I might have changed would have been the sophisticated language that seemed forced in the beginning of the story. Other than that I thought everything worked well. I loved it." -- Antoinette Beedon, Chicago, IL, United States. Ripple Effect by E Rocco Caldwell (4) "This is a story about a man that is about to be executed. I have concluded that this is a story about man talking about his life, sort of describing the main events in his life like a story. It's like what they say, right before you die your entire life flashes before your eyes, the man is just saying that our life's events and obstacles are all tied into one another and that we all inter- linked to each other through energy. Through his beliefs the man has accepted his fate and is prepared to die." -- Michael . "Michael, I really enjoyed your analysis of the story and thought your hit on some very good points that even I as the writer missed. I liked that you said we are linked together by energy...that is a very profound statement...it rests in a deeper cosmic debate over what are we? Spirits or energy? Is the protagonist really a time traveler or is he just on the verge of death? Well done and thanks for the words!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "These are very interesting thoughts and what a great topic. YOur ideas and writing are magnifacent. I don't understand why you aren't a big time writer. Well, I enjoyed this story very much, and would apprieciate it if you would review my storys and tell me what you think. Thanks. " -- Moses M. Constable. "Hey E. Rocco, you review a lot of my work. I am now going to review yours. I thought it was great! You are really good. I only hope to be as good as you one day. I've put up some new pieces, would love to get your review. " -- Skyler Drevan . My Eternal Triangle by Erasmus Flynt (3) "Good story and well written. I liked the triangle....angle! " -- e. rocco caldwell. "I like the story, interesting concepts are discussed. Also it is a pretty well-written piece. Tying in the triangle adds something good to the story. I like the hacksaw part, and the mention of the mailman; it fascinates me." -- Emily Deja. "I loved this story. It seems to me that you and I have the same sort of writing style or at least in this story, so I definitely enjoyed this story. Keep up the good work. Please if you have the chance take a look at some of my stuff and tell me what oyu think. Thank you." -- Moses M. Constable. Man Skin by Harvey Kennett (3) "Wonderful!!! This is a very good story...I enjoyed the introduction and the line that the subconscius is selfish...it remembers the dream to the last atomic detail! Great stuff!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "I was drawn in by the topic and when the writer went into the actual dream I was initially confused. Reading on, the details were vivid and the whole idea was creative. I liked it alot, especially the last line, it ended it very well." -- Heather Elkhoury, Chicago, Illinois, usa. "Excellent - I thoroughly enjoyed this story - well done" -- Erasmus Flynt, UK. Hell Is A Personal Place by Erasmus Flynt (5) "Wonderfully eerie! Well done!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hi,i think i really like this story because i don't think i would ever think of something quite like this. I loved the message that you were sending and also great visuals. It was so well drawn in my mind. By the way i messed up on my e-mail adress the correct one is: [email protected]. Please e-mail me. I'd like to hear you thoughts and such. Thank you." -- Moses M. Constable. "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... "Luogo abbastanza piacevole, lo godo completamente! bmw" -- Totti, ..., ..., .... God's Trainees by Xoggoth (1) "A very delightful story. Well written and even as a Christian I can enjoy. Will definitely read more of your writing." -- Selma, Nanjing, Jiangsu, China. Free Road by Deon Coetzee (1) "This is very good. I want to know more of his/her journey! You have me hooked!" -- e. rocco caldwell. Food For Thought by P J Lawton (2) "Very good. Very sci-fi..but in the future probably very real.good job.keep it up. I'd also like ur reviews on my work. " -- Avis, Mumbai, India. "This story reminds me of the 70's sci-fi flick, "Soylent Green"" -- Steven. Do You Remember Now? by E Daugherty (3) "Wow, very moving and mysterious" -- Josh. "It was very touching and emotional. The details added to the reality of the story and really brought the story back together. " -- carmstar, chicago, IL, USA. "After reading this story, I thought the ending was very touching and emotional. The author's words are very clear and concise. It makes the reader think about his or her own family and those who are very close." -- Mike K., Chicago, IL, United States. Death Walk by P J Lawton (1) "Great story, I loved the theme, and I thought that it was very well written. I loved the ending-the futility of it...great stuff! PJ Francis" -- PJ Francis, UK. Business Card by E Rocco Caldwell (1) "scary. well written. simple idea put to good use" -- Avis, Mumbai, India. The Music I Held by E Daugherty (1) "I need more" -- Josh. The Waitress Fom Hell by Richard Koss (2) "A nice little holiday story...warm feeligns and such!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Wow!! This story really made you think. I mean you never expected that ending. It just makes one realize how much we should care for others because we just never know when that person may be an important person in our life. Sometimes one needs to understand that people don't always work at a place for the money." -- alicia martinez. The Siege Of Tar Ebon by Dayne Edmondson (1) "Writer has imagination but works needs polishing. Writer has a good instinct for fantasy. The story resolution is too simple. Dayne, I have sent you an e-mail with a more detailed critique of your work." -- Allister Modeste, Phoenix, AZ, US. The Man I Call My Dad by Justin M Chapman (1) "Hey Justin, great story! I just happened to do a search on the internet for SunDrop in Wisconsin, and I came upon your story...great job! He's not the only one with that addiction to SunDrop! See you around, your cousin, Josh Mayhew" -- Josh Mayhew, Milwaukee, WI, USA. The Gatekeeper Of The Heaven by Partha Pratim Majumder (3) "This story went down hard...it was difficult for a Christian as myself to swallow it. But I did enjoy the way it was written. It held my interests even those I didn't really like the content. I'm sure there's stories I have written you wouldn;t enjoy the content. As a written piece it was well done and thought provoking...I believe worthy for publishing!" -- E. ROCCO CALDWELL. "The fiction of two friends and commonmen with relentless struggle and religious differences in the sub continental context is brilliantly depicted. The role of better knowledged persons to confuse them is also very realistic since in past, we have had countless experiences of organized riots between two communities, when a friend was found up with arms against a friend. High tension on the borders between india and Pakistan has been too serious and long standing matter to put UN and USA in worries. so, the story is not only well written drawing nuances of ordinary lives but significant as well for international readership. I hope this should go to the top class stories section of this famous web-zine. " -- Suresh Chandra Banka, Patna, India, Bihar. "Well written - strong focus - Typically Indian flavor with universal appeal. Subject is different. Highly appreciable. We want such unique fiction in future." -- Abhijit Lodh, Durgapur, West Bengal, India. The Clearing by E Rocco Caldwell (5) "imagination of a young boy fueled by tales or reality? who's to say. nice story of childhood." -- JAG. " Rocco, You have a wonderful way of writing something that is factual, a little frightning and add HUMOR to it as well!I liked reading this! Also on a personal note - thank you for your encouragment on my stories. It is much needed this week as I recieved my first rejection on a (children's Christmas story)I had submitted!!" -- chistine tricarico. "Join the club! I don't remember how many I have gotten. A lot of times it's just because they don't read first time authors and have nothing to do with if your story is good enough to be published or not. I have had some stuff published at small magazines to help boost my confidence and to build a resume! Getting an agent isn't a bad idea either. But get one who doesn't want your money but will represent you because they believe in your talent! Your stuff is very good! I wouldn't tell you so if I didn't believe it. I would tell you the truth! So hang in there! A little prayer doesn't hurt!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "I believe ur story. I liked the factual, no nonsence reporting style. its pretty scary. thanks for sharing ur experiences on storymania. will read all ur work...all 84 pieces when i get time :)" -- Avis, Mumbai, India. "Thank you, Avis. I shall do the same with your works." -- e. rocco caldwell. Spirits Revolt by Jack Roland Butter (1) "This was good. Scary. Very well written. keep up the good work. I'd appreciate reviews of my work, of a writer such of yourself. " -- Avis, Mumbai, India. Simon Says: Case Of The Deadly Diamond Dupe by P J Lawton (1) "written in the style of hard detective Mike Hamer genre. Not bad at all" -- e.rocco caldwell. Roundabout Love by Kevin Myrick (2) "yeah, reading over this now that I've submitted it, I realize their are a few spelling errors. Whoops. Incite should be insight. Hehehe... what a screwup. Oh well, Hope Y'all enjoy." -- Kevin Myrick, Auburn, AL, USA. "After I wrote this, I thought about it for a while and decided two things: One, this could never, EVER happen in real life. Real life, unfortunately, never works out this way. Therefore, it is more ficticious than I ever expected it to be. More like a fairy tale. Secondly, I've decided that I wrote this with the thought that it might actually mirror a real life situation in my life, and things have gone nowhere in that regard. Therefore, while I still stand by my work, it's not my favorite piece of writing. But, there are character dynamics here, and I'll probably develop more stories with these characters. " -- Kevin Myrick. Pyscho Librarian by Sarah Beresh (1) "So cool, and freaky, and odd, and well random, but i like random stuff! good job!! " -- *random me*. Mom's Color Code by Partha Pratim Majumder (8) "This has such a wondeful poetic favor to it. I loved the usage of color in this piece. I was completely tied to the protagonist and that enabled me to continue reading the story. This is simply a wonderful story written well and good enough to be published." -- e. rocco caldwell. "Dear Author, you are simply brilliant..... I am thrilled to read such a well structured piece on the intricate relation between every mother and her son. Fabulously rich and poetic. " -- Sanjukta Mazumder, Jamshedpur, Jharkand, India. "V" -- Vishal Gupta, New Delhi, India. "Quality prose.... Brilliant imagination... Gripping...Reality arrested in words.... Congrats. " -- Himani Misra, New Delhi, India. "Excellent Prose. Interesting Topic. Main character takes his readers to the end in complete command. Fine , Very fine." -- V. Ranga Rao, Mumbai, Maharastra, India. "Very well written..... many thanks for such an original piece. " -- Raju Srivastava, Benares, India. "Kudos to you, Partha Pratim. Strong pen.... poetic flavour but straight hitting... I like it." -- Jyotibhusan Halder, Ranchi, India. "superb... " -- Brian H, USA. Jolly John's Last Laugh by Partha Pratim Majumder (1) "I liked this...but I wanted to see more tension between the two political ideologies that existed around this time. The world was in turmoil especially India. I liked the mystery and trying to discover the solution though. Very good!" -- e. rocco caldwell. Is It Real Or Is It Memorex? by D G Williford (3) "u go girl!" -- km. "This poem doesn't make any sense. If you want to bathe in grape Kool Aid and make out with animals fine, but I don't think you should tell people who don't do this to F off. As for your question, I have a Timex watch. Now could you tell me what kid of Kool Aid they're serving at the mental institution these days? " -- Steven. "nothing is to wish...nothing is to say...you live happy...this is my pray" -- neelo, layyah, punjab, pakistan. Back Page News by E Rocco Caldwell (1) "This is very touching...nice writing, as always" -- KM. Attack Of The Sans by Randy Johnson (3) "This put me in mind of the movie Alien MinD with Randy Quiad. I have to be honest, this story didn't hold my interests. I think SCI-FI needs to be original and edgy! I thought this wasn't either. I did like a few of your character but the plot line was so predictable and really didn't simulate my creativity at all. Sorry, I normally try be be polite but I thought you would like a honest opinion" -- e. rocco caldwell. "In response to e.rocco caldwell. Yes you are impolite. I worked hard on this story and I don't need you trashing it. If you think you can do better, write the story yourself!!" -- Randy Johnson, Bean Station, Tn, USA. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I take a bad review just as well as a good one. As a writer I'm trying to get better not think I'm already there! I tried to be helpful and just didn't come and say. I thought your story reeked! I gave you the reasons I didn't like the story and what I liked about the story. If you can't take criticism (Not trashing) perhaps you shouldn't post to a site that has people giving reviews to your work... Just let you friends and family read you stuff so they can stroke you ego! I never once said I can write your story better than you...I can't...it's your story...it's what God give you. Only you can write this story. So stop crying in your coffee and write the story! " -- e. rocco caldwell. A Season For Figs by Geraldine Winters (2) "Wow, I never saw it coming!" -- vivian, nyc, ny, USA. "I really enjoyed this story. It puts me in mind smoething Joyce Caorl Oates would write. She's one of my favorites. I did see the end coming and thought it was consiste with the story. Very good! " -- e. rocco caldwell. A Hike by Jennifer Winter (1) "Nice relationship displayed" -- craig steitz, Milwaukee, WI, 53214. A Friend by Peter Izdebski (1) "Fix your spelling and grammatical errors and your story will be stronger. I'm glad to see more Polish writers publishing on the web. It's great that you used the original Polish names like Bartek and Iza in your story, without "Americanizing" them. I liked the story, and I agree with you that the way you view people and things depends on your emotions. " -- Randy Cebulski, Chicago, IL, USA. 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