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Short Stories - Reviews |
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Short Stories Reviews |
She (The Short Story) by Jamie Goetz (1) "plese send me this story i am watting this " -- 123456. Warm Goo by Gregory Allen (3) "Awesome story." -- Dan, Champaign, IL. "I really love this story, i think i have that dark figure in my head sometimes :)" -- Tamsin, Northampton, England. "Thanks." -- Gregory Allen. The Convict by Gregory Allen (3) "Any story with limp-dicked men in it kicks butt!" -- Jay Rehnke. "When are you going to quit playing with short stories and write a book?" -- Birdman. ""limp-dicked men" , I think more appropiately should be "dickless". Good job, an erie story." -- Gary Rehnke. The Bookcase In The Basement by Francois Fouche (2) "Hi Francois, I applaud your talent as a story-teller. Very professional. I have read 'The Bookcase in the Basement' and thoroughly enjoyed it. I was 'there' every step of the way. Setting, characters, dialogue, all excellent (in my opinion). I'm sure that an agent would be glad to represent you - so if you don't have one I suggest you make contact. I have also read your other two stories 'The Virgin of Chelsea.' Enjoyed it immensely. Unfortunately, I wasn't too taken with 'All Saints' Eve at O'Hagan's - you can't win 'em all! (Chuckle) I wish you good luck with your writing and hope to see your name on the famous list, one day. Maggie " -- Maggie, New Zealand. "ylsbp aixue wmsc bejx zvmya inwceg ieghfnad" -- ydztpajsq iqdwonpau, kfvltcsix, CA, USA. The Virgin Of Chelsea by Francois Fouche (1) "I love the plot of your story. I found it to be one of the more interesting ones I have read. I'm going to tell you what doesn't work so just know that everything else I don't mention does work. First off, it would be nice to know what your quote in Latin means. Most people don't speak Latin. (Maybe it's Italian, I don't know) Your change of voice doesn't work either. It just sounds wrong. Going from third person to first person and then back again is done rarely. I think you should stay away from that because it definitely didn't work in your story. Also, what is the point of your describing all the people by the cemetery? Is it an exercise in description? I just don't know why you are telling us about these people. I can't see the purpose. You also described the archangel Michael as being dark. How? Why? You speak of the secret code of Venus but don't tell us what it is. I would have like to know more about that, and I would like to see more character development in regards to Eoin. A little more showing than telling would have been good too. I think it would have made the story more entertaining. The mechanics of your writing is excellent. You really know how to write." -- Christopher, Lake Oswego, Oregon, USA. The Slow Man by Gregory Allen (3) "This was really good. I liked the simplicity of the wording. It painted a good picture of how the main character views the world. The only suggestion I have is to perhaps change or add some details to the descriptions of the domestic violence between Cory and Tammy, just to make it a bit more original. I've read many fictional stories of domestic violence that had very similar descriptions. Other than that, I really liked it and I think you could definately take it in some really interesting dirctions. Hope this helps! " -- Elizabeth Flores, Toledo, OH. "that was pretty good. it kind of reminded me of billy bob thortan in sling blade, i reckon ;) why is it that these mentally handicaped are always strong and always have better work ethic in stories/movies? lenny in of mice and men, carl in sling blade, im sure there are others cant think of any now. probably so we feel mroe simpathy for them ro soemthing, now im rambling off. well a well done story, thanks for the read. " -- ryan severud. "I think that terrible how they locked Joe up again. Cory should of been locked up some where but life unfair." -- Joanofark777. What Is Love Anyway! by Shmuel Yacobi (2) "no feeling, no passion." -- Gregory Allen. "The first time i had read it, I thought it was a screenplay, the wordings and the way the story flows, is like a screenplay itself, that is maybe why Mr. Allen quoted its as "no Feeling" but i like the approach in it... somewhat like the movie "How to loose a guy in ten days"" -- Adrianne Aguilar, Las Pinas City, Philippines. The Legend Of Yin by Michelle Jones (1) "very good" -- joey. The Lake (The V. D. P. Levon Version) by V D P Levon (1) "nice and sensitive, but could do with more dialogues." -- Upasana Datta, india. The First Night by Alvin Gladstone (1) "fda" -- wefwr. The First Alex by Gregory Allen (2) "Nobody reviews anything anymore...I like this one. I liked warm goo better. dont know if its the name or what :)" -- km. "I really liked this story - seems like it could be fleshed out into a great novel!" -- Briony, Reading, England. The Chinese Run Away Bride by Shmuel Yacobi (1) "not a good story. " -- Real chinese, Indian Harbour Beach, FL, USA. Out Of Sync by Gregory Allen (1) "Liked the story, liked the ending. Wasn't sure where the story was going when it was first started. Perhaps the begining of the story should have had some playful clues correlating to the ending. However the story did move along quite nicely after the start." -- Gary Rehnke, Sartell, MN, USA. Lost In New York by Shmuel Yacobi (1) "This may take a while to review them all, but what I just read was good, I wasn't blown away by it neither, but still I think there is potential... I will read on and see what I find. Thanks for sharing these stories with us, it must have taken a while, I hope they get the attention they deserve for effort." -- Buxton. Letter To Dad by Cari Graham (2) "Having suffered the loss of my father as a young girl I relate to this post. It appears that you have a positive and healthy view of that loss. That is something I envy. Wonderful tribute to one loved and lost :)" -- mattie. "Great job you but your heart in it." -- Jeanette H, Spring Hill , Florida, Hernado. How It Must Feel To Die Alone by Aryka (1) "It's good, liked the ending." -- Alvin Gladstone, India. Girl Downstairs by Alice W-M (1) "Furthermore stakes handicapper scratch river semi free poker play kansas gutshot rank juice? " -- free poker play, free poker play, free poker play, free poker play. Fenrir Part 1 by George L Shultz (2) "Great story, gripping. Where is the part 2 ?" -- Alvin Gladstone, India. "Good concept. Though, seems no one feels fear for a giant, ugly man with ugly sword. That should give some of them pause." -- Gregory Allen. Do You Think I Was Wrong? by Animesh Kar (1) "Hard to follow because of enormous paragraphs with multiple ideas. Break it up. Have good potential story." -- Gregory Allen. Alternative Justice by Shmuel Yacobi (1) "Not exactly long on detail." -- Gregory Allen. This Story Will Never End by Elide Bors (6) "Nice cool love story" -- ayan, Kolkata, West Bengal, India. "good" -- dick. "I think it's a very bold story. Only older men are supposed to be in love? NOPE! Kudos to the writer." -- Alicia, San Augustine, FL, USA. "I'm sure a lot of people can relate to it, but it's not accepted by society... Maybe one day people will be more open minded about love." -- Liana, mcallen, TX, USA. "Hmm... Interesting." -- Tom, California. "Sweet, sad, touching, and yes, I can relate to it." -- Dana, IN, USA. The Movie Store by Daniel Hurley (3) "Good fun, I enjoyed reading that." -- Ian Kidd, Adelaide, SA, Australia. "Good job, Daniel Hurley. Good to read light reading. It was as though I were in the video store myself. You brought back my teenage years in your story. I enjoyed The Movie Store very, very much." -- Barry Wood, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. "yo" -- lea, peetowm, hi, usa. The Lopsided Penguin by Lori Lorien (5) "Confederal Democratic Republic of Aurora Australis is my originating country where we have following rescue work with persons too ill to travel made them feel at home by referring to small adjacent communities by names also from their own countries; for that reason we have soldiers referring to their location within five miles from here as LittleIraq and others have referred to it as Afghanistan with then a reference to their own home or family cluster location; we have many australian canadian, english and american locations where planecrash or poisoning victims and wounded are gradually oruienting themselves...bye for now, by the way when I gave the name Lori Lorien it was just to show the diminutive that everyone always uses for me; my name is pronounce :"low rain" but is spelled lorien and my full registered birthname was to be transferred from family and village records to public record certification when I turned twenty-one but not at home in my birthplace at the time includIn our country name registration is a step by step process because we get to choose one of our names ourselves, my choice was to add Kelly to my existing family and village registration of Miss Lorien Fitzgerald and add ingmy personal orientation name Kelly would have been a special event as it is for everyone but my family are not alive now and my work was in the southern hemisphere. I had been born at Velizy-Villacoublay (Vichy France) and was brought to Australia by my mother who was bringing medical supplies inadvertently left behind by those wounded officers of the australian light horse and adjacent support forces who were returning to Australia injured and still in agony following severe wounding and chromium dioxide poisoning and mustard gas poisoning in north africa and partial recovery under the supervision of the Vatican's Cardinal O'Flaherty who married my mother Kristen Lawrence to my poor father who had been forced by a lesbian child thief to list her as his wife not as his stepmother so that as many others also with the same problem had Cardinal O'Flaherty fighting in Rome, Paris, Ireland and Sydney through every bureaucratic and legalese redtape conspiracy already in place from Pankhurst's bloomer lesbians in England to Chicago Womens Electoral Lobby in the U.S.A. to the witchcraft and prostitbution governed counter-intelligence bookburning illiterate hidden hospital and baby-centre murdering torturers of the crpse-hill dotted desolate wastelands of ruined countries like Spain and wind-swept former forest lands like Ireland, Spain's horrors depicted in Ernest HGemingway's 'For Whom the Bell Tolls' and the English/Irish horrors of lesbianist militia desecration shown in Charles Dickens' 'Our Mutual Friend' reminding us that "Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned..." which fury of maiming terrible torture the lesbians behind closed pristine white signed doors using insane cannibalistic murderers to give the maximum suffering to each ordinary man,woman or child who might even suggest that a lesbian in choosing apes as their sexual partners was not entitled to evaluate out of existence to offer and not supply and deny every person every personal choice and every personal friend and deny them every correct interpretation of their value and the vale of their work as they enslaved, tortured and defamed each citizen in a frenzied program of baby skinning, trampling, maiming and disfiguring and giving in covert torture chambers the exact replication of the death of jesus christ smashing huge infected nails through our wrists, stabbing, injecting diseases, howling with laughter at us as they beheaded our friendsa and threw the dismembered precious parts of the bodies of our murdered families into our presence telling us that everyone hated, rejected usnd laughed at our agony. That is what most of the personal friends I have ever known have had happen to them and yet we fight against the filthy falsehoods of the lesbianist militia who offer for sale only what they do not own, defame women in court and on the media before they have ever seen them having their name on a list, calling them "damaged goods" and then handing out business cards wquith each listed woman's name on it, inviting men ton pay her money to attack the listed women, again evry time calliung them "damaged goods' and using the expression always"She is the kind of prostitute who is not prepared to be a prostitute" when no woman who is a normal woman ever will have heard that prostitution exists or will think it is a word from ancient times. The lesbians are so filthy when they always the say"You can attack the stupid bitch..she's 'damaged goods' she's been attacked...that's what shge's for, and what she will be emerging from is a first call at a court house where she will have loudly gained entry supposedly howling with rage that a woman has been attacked, having gained only a half of an hour before a list of the names of women in that area that she has never met, often only hours after arriving in a territory she has never been to before, with lines drawn between names of men and the women who generally will never have met but be linked in the vile prattled text they master in their filthy onslought against each and every society they intend to contaminate.. prostitute as a word means lesbianist militiam, the lesbians put all the advertisements in place, and their sexual pereference is for anaesthetised apes..they are respoinsible for the program of international assassinations, inflamed political diatribes and conscriptees even where conscription is described on radio or television as involving men going off to far battlefields has resulted in horror stories whipping up terror among young men who do not want to kill or be killed with the cunning lesbians who suddenly appear as "old aunties, back after forty years away" with stolen credentials, taking over by murder the houses of remote or isolated people these lesbians giving to conscriptees"the offer they can not refuse" with a lied-to horrible life of taking their military-issue weapoins behind the wall to guard the secrecy of lesbians holding, anaesthetising and raping male apes in captivity, and even more horribly, men attacked and held comatose by these horrible torturing ghouls, these filthy guilty, false witches who sugar each other's reputations with false awards and demand the controls over banks, financing, economics, and listings, and postal delivery and once esconced in any society, occupy a stranglehold on resources, leeching out the lifeblood of every community left sacked, destroyed, with the people's bodies thrown into piuts and piled up in mountains of corpsaes, with nothing left alive that is not starving and in agony. Excuse typos, this is grim and a bit long, but it needed to be acknowledged as so many have bravely from north america from south america and from japan and fron france since 2000A.D. been prepoared to reveal how terrible it has been for them; the danger lesbians have posed has been a worldwide phenomenon, and we have suffered it too. Hold onto your life, live not love, be a nation in two shoes, be the head of every government department of the nation of yourself..it's called PERSONAL GOVERNAUNCE...then by 2017 we may have what so may of us will move back to, looking after each possible area where any predator might for an instant offer to "help" us in order to weaken us, and turning to what we can do instead of what others say we should do, doing what works for us, not saying or speaking, not needing others to debate or block our every activation of our own discretionary processes - no counter-gender psychotic freed illegally to be run in "clock-work orange" mode their filthy massmurdering cannibalistic madhouse terrorists by envying "hornet in the mouth, viper-tongued lesbians" can do other than repeat-mode,repeat-mode, repeat-mode in predictable tracked mastered patterns shadowed and terminated, swallowed up in killing each other, falling into their own filthy traps as they have sold their dirty easy-kill-to-riches follow their dirty controllers with their illegal radio-governed horror-show-obsessed theives " -- Kelly Lorien, Hall South, NSW /Neueholland, CDRAA. "OoO! Nice site! I juuust LOVE it! Found it rather interesting and useful, you know:) http://www.phentermine.grandsearch.net" -- Phentermine, ..., ..., .... "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... " empire poker bonus empire poker bonus empire poker com empire poker com empire poker empire poker free empire poker free empire poker empire poker bonus code empire poker bonus code " -- empire poker, empire poker, empire poker, empire poker. "ivkwd arpwq lyxeg cmvhuire wrmdh imwtzx eqvcsu" -- mxyqstnv nqfakjhxe, xyothn, CA, USA. The Escape by Nur Syafiqah A Jaaffar (1) "It's a cool story. Advice would be to stay away from superfluous adverbs, and write as though there is another person in your head--a Devil's Advocate--constantly nagging you with challenges against plot, description, thoughts, etc. You display obvious talent, but a shiny polish of grammar would serve well. If you are truly an adolescent, I suggest putting this story away for a few years, while writing constantly in the meantime, then picking it up again and rereading it. I wager you'll enjoy reflecting upon your beginnings as a great writer." -- J.Rychwa. The Dream by Daniel Brown (3) "Dan, this story kicks serious ass. you should submit it to one of those literary magazine thingys. ~Aaron" -- Aaron Jones, Champaign, IL, USA. "i think it was really good" -- Kaitlin. "Wow. I'm very serious when I say "That is awesome". And now I'm saying it. Well done for creating a great and desriptive story. And as someone else said, it "Seriously Kicks ass!"" -- Bernay, Cooranbong, NSW, Australia. Soap Machine by Alexander Petrov (1) "Start reviewing others work, as they have made the effort...Too many people write, not enough review..be fair and you'll be rewarded." -- Buxton. Jai by Casey Lauber (1) "hi...ur story is soooooo good. is it okay if i do something like it for my english report? just following the general idea? Tarzers" -- Tarzers, Singapore, Singapore1, Singapore. I-10 Crash by Brittany Tellez (1) "brittany, Your story is awesome, though not the way I rember. it your story over does it a liitle' but it was really good! you'll be seeing my short stories soonyour friend cassy" -- cassidy guethe. Hunger Pains by Riot (1) "Really liked the twist at the end. thought provoking " -- Kate Kerrison. Her Last Breath by Ryne Hughes (1) "Start reviewing others work, as they have made the effort...Too many people write, not enough review..be fair and you'll be rewarded." -- Buxton. Gardens by Alexander Petrov (1) "Start reviewing others work, as they have made the effort...Too many people write, not enough review..be fair and you'll be rewarded." -- Buxton. Falling Free by Sarah-Ashleigh Jones-West (3) "oh my god! this story is amazing!i am absolutly in love with it! its beautifully written with and good moral! i'm desperate to find out what she says at the end!! i hope you write more!" -- Rachel Oakwell. "Your story is fantastic. very touching. Your male protagonist is great! i dont know whether i'm meant to like him or hate the guy! i hope to see more of you!!" -- Harry Underwood. "Are you two people? From this i get that one of you is hurting from unrequited love, and the other is more optimistic perhaps unexperienced? Your work reflects your hybrid personalities. I love the mix. I hope you write more together, and if im wrong - no offence." -- Samantha evans, birmingham, england. Drugged On Vengeance by Jack M Brown (5) "You definately have a way with desrciption.But when I read a story I like to get something out of it.I don't get anything from this piece except a well desrcibed battlefield.If that was what you were trying to accomplish then well done, but if you were trying to convey some type of message then I didn't get it." -- Dave. "It's supposed to explore the myth of honour on the battlefield and the 'eye for an eye' way of thinking, which can drive many to do the wrong thing." -- Jack. "Wow, Jack, I didn't know you had this kind of writing in you. This was so well described. Most of the stories I've read of yours don't seem to aspire to this kind of description. But I gather now that you were just writing like that on purpose, either that or you have been secretly slaving over the last few months polishing this aspect of your craft. I personally seem to have so much trouble showing and not telling. And I could definitely see a message or central theme to this piece. Good job." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "Yep, I've had the nose to the grind-stone. Cheers" -- Jack. "Your response to Dave is good because it was not condescending. However, like most pacifists, your cynicism and obvious disdain for war (the "myth of honor" on the battlefield) merely mimics the rhetoric of naive' anti-war sentimentalists who I'm sure would love this piece. This could have been a civil war battle or perhaps another war, no matter, but what was their alternative? To walk away and forgive the enemy? To wait until another town or village was revaged? Or maybe just run and hide hoping the enemy will go away. Tentativeness and uncertainty cause more deaths in war than vengeance and fear. You do not enter a battle with half-assed notions. You must feel justified or you will surely perish. Vindication and retribution are goals. Vengeance is merely another motivating factor. The sad part of civil war is that the label of agressor can be applied to both sides. " -- Richard. Doctor Trek - Meeting The Grade by Ian Kidd (3) "It's a good story. Bizarre, but good!" -- Joe Binks, Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England. "I think...it's time for my lunch." -- Colin Baker, London, England. "I want this cheap rubbish AXED from storymania! Or at least suspended for eighteen months." -- Michael Grade, London, England. Capp Gun (Extended And Edited) by Bryan King (2) "Nice little twist at the end. I found my family in this story so I ended up laughing out loud through most of it, especially the porno mag. I see you have a bit of the dark side in you, as do I. You have talent kid, keep it up; you are only 4 years behind me. Also try to stay away form parenthesis, CAPS, and over usage of exclamation marks, although they are tools for enthusiasm, they can get annoying and are annoying to the eye. Keep up the writing, I’ll be reading more from you." -- ryan severud. "I know I have read and left a review of yours before, I remember being quite impressed by the writing of non other than a fourteen year old and the case is no different hear. If old man Severud enjoyed you, you must have some kind of luck with writing. I say luck cause in a way writing is full of it, in a sense..fuck i don't know. You made me think about dusting off my word doc and hope to get lucky, but i have made my break from short stories and god damn poetry final, I'm dedicating my time to a comic book i'm mustering up, if you read any of the Vree's it's something of that, different characters and everything but I'm getting a lot of the funny dialogues and what i call the clever stuff from it...hopefully i'll get lucky. You may actually see this comic book on shelfs someday and you're one of the first to hear about it..lucky you. Well i intent sometime to read more of oyur things and such, take a gander at more of my stories, no one else reads stories on this site anymore. Thanks pal. " -- ..::Moses::... 6 Billion Chances To Kill by Bryan King (3) "Didn't have enough time to finish it. But I will." -- the writer. "I remember starting to write at the age you are... good ol' age 14. Your shirt here is littered like ornaments on a Christmas tree with grammatical errors, but I had those too and still do. Before you post re-read then re-read again. As for the writing: you have talent, just keep workin on it." -- ryan severud. "Thanks Ryan...interesting review, this is. " -- Author. Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 |
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