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Short Stories - Reviews |
The Doormasters by Willie Travis Jr (3) "I think this is a great short screenplay. Like the one you make for The twight zone movie's. So what ever you do don't stop doing what you are doing. " -- Tiffany. "Cool!!! Keep up the good work." -- John. "I really like your short screenplay. I like when Seven scared the mess out of John. And to make him beleave that he was in another world. Good that it have people in this world that don't copy good movie's and make them bad ones. It's sad that the old shows are gone for this unbelieveable ones. I wish thatmore people take the time to read your plays and see that the old movies are never gone in some people." -- Mark. Star Saga by Michael Harris (11) "Yet another one of yours I shall have to read Michael." -- The Cheerleader, Tyna Aberdeen. "i can understand your ambition, and I also believe that someone decided you should have an extra penny in your creativity jar. I didn't read it all, but I like it, and I will finish it when me bum stops hurting from all that sitting! :-) I don't really like some of the female names, but they're still cute. I never really liked the idea that ending a name/word with 'a' makes it sounds more feminine. Ah, screw it. nvrmind! ALso, if you want this to be a real screenplay, tidy it up a little with some o' these puppies ( )for physical actions and entering on FC, C, or BC or possibly fading on closeups... oh, bother. Babbling again. All that's only if you are making it for theater or ABOUT to make it a show... ! :-( sorry for the waste of space,) but I like you, man, keep it all up and I'll read it!" -- Kimberly De liz. "Hey, somebody likes me. *blushing* Thanks for the partial review Ms. De Liz (it is Ms. De Liz, right? Just asking. And kidding. Unless...). Yeah, I'm pretty good with names (at least I'd like to think I am). As for keeping it up, I'm already working on a sequel, and unless I feel the spontaniety that I did with this piece, it won't be submitted for a while. But I do have others in the pipeline. I'm currently working on my early magnum-opus; and I hope to release the first installment of that at least by Spring Break. Well, I hope you like the rest of it. And if you ever get a chance to read it Tyna, I hope you like it too. Heck, I hope everyone likes it." -- Michael. "I guess I just couldn't help liking this, I'm a huge Star Wars fan. But this script is quite original as well. The reader is constantly drawn into adoring the characters more and more, even the villians. I have really been wanting to write another screenplay, and this one has compelled me to make it science fiction. Oh yeah, thanks for giving "The Black and the White Balloon" such a great review! Thanks." -- Magnus Duke McDowell (Eric Vana), Milwaukee, WI, USA. "Whoa! To know that I've compelled you to want to write a sci-fi script makes my heart drop. Thanks, Magnus. Yeah, that adoration thing is something that I'd like to be present in all my scripts. I've only seen a few snippets of the first three Star Wars films (which should probably be considered a sin), and I hated Episode 1. Specifically, I wanted to feel more drawn to the characters. I'm more of a Deep Impact guy as opposed to an Armageddon guy, of which I absolutely loathed. Yeah, write another script, would ya? This section of the site needs more standout material." -- Michael . "Cute. Amusing. I had a lot of fun reading it. And yea, if you write an outline first, you can write entire screenplay really fast. I know what I'm talking about, since I've graduated Dramaturgy (around here (Yugoslavia) it's playwriting, screenplaywriting, writing radio-plays, critics...you get the picture). Actually, with an outline it's possible to write a screenplay in three (yes, 3) days, only you feel REALLY tired after that. Keep working!" -- Ivana Milakovic. "Thanks, Ivana. You know, you're right. After reading over this a couple of times I've found that it does possess quite a bit of humor, which is something that I never considered myself as: a comedian. I guess everyone has their own little way of making people laugh. Thanks for the review." -- Michael. "Hello,Mr. Harris. I'm willie Travis jr, author of the odyssey of the Guardians.Thanks for reading, my script,im glad you found it entertaining. Although i must agree, it does start out, a bit like L.O.T.R., but after reworking the script, several times, i just liked this draft best. This was an idea, i got when, i was about 15. So it was in, my head for a while there.I started on the third installment, a while ago, but havent got around to finishing it yet.But not to worry!I'll get around to it,one day. I have read, the beginning of your work: Star Saga also. It seems pretty well thought out.I havent finished reading it yet though.After i read yours,i'll leave you a review.And as for the Oydssey of the Guardians 2... to my opinion, it's rather dull, compared to the first script. When ever i get around, to writing final installment,i'll try to make sure it's a lot better. For now i am busy writing a space adventure,which for now is titled, the: DOOMSDAY ORBS. WELL... anyhow, thanks for reading, and enjoying my work.You may find the Doormasters, entertaining also. Thanks for your review." -- willie travis jr, baton rouge, usa, louisiana. "Hey, thanks man. I look forward to reading your review. I'll still read your Odyssey sequel, and then I'll branch out to some of your other scripts, as I can learn from you. Until next time then. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "You liked the sequel?! Thanks for the praise!! It's good there is someone out there, that reads my scripts, and enjoys them. Maybe all that time, from reading countless how to write, screenplay books, came in handy after all.I thought the sequel to the Oydssey of the guardians,sounded pretty dull.Thanks for the praise again. Oh yeah,i look forward to reading your sequel,to star saga. Thats some good stuff.Keep up the good work!It's good to see there's someone on this site, that puts serious thought,and time,into their intellectual properties. I don't mean to ramble on..but thanks again. W.T.Jr " -- willie travis jr, baton rouge, usa, louisiana. "Thanks a mil for the review. And I'm glad you liked my story. I actually have the sequel up on the site now, I put it up in February. I'll read some of your other scripts next and I look forward to your Odyssey sequel." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. Eradication by Sf (4) "hey, not bad. i look forward to seeing the completed version. i think you should add more at the end, not jsut have it end so abruptly. but good job!" -- jack. "For examinations" -- Crystal Baldeo, Port of Spain, St Helena, Trinidad and Tobago. "Interesting. Good title. I recommend delving deeper into the lives of the main characters. Because this story has been told many times before you're going to have to lean on the craft of screenwriting to make this plot unique. Just something to think about................peace!" -- Richard Evans. "This was pretty good. The dialogue seemed to at times seemed to need a little tightening up, but overrall it was good nontheless. I liked how you ended the story with the circumstances of the boyfriend, and his back and forth Katie. You also seemed to be writing the script with the eye of a director, writing lots of instances where you guide the camera yourself. I thought that the was the director's job, and that's what he or she would get done once the script has been approved. But I only have two sci fi scripts to my name, so what do I know? Overall, a good solid effort. Keep it up." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. The Lady Or The Tiger Screenplay by James O'donnell (1) "What the hell is this? A feeble attempt at plagiarizing a classic work? A screenplay (as you so loosely describe this entry) based on such a well-known work is hardly ethical, even if legal statutes on copyrights have expired. What are you trying to accomplish? " -- Richard. The Highwayman by Durfee's Student (1) "fantastic screenplay of the highwayman! it will really help me when i am teaching this! thank you :D" -- student, uk, uk, uk. Pornographical Bodies by Jeremiah Semien (1) "Not so long ago.., I was a child wishing to get mature, I'm 20 years old and I'm fighting to fiind my space in this univers, cause the world is too small sometimes 4 my war.(too serious?)" -- fabi, timisoara, Timis, Romania. Sindy's Eyebrows by Amarjit Bhambra (2) "You've written about this story twice. It must have stuck in your memory like glue. There are so many funny things we go through in life, it's a shame we only remember some and the rest we forget like dreams." -- Bex. "I know that this is the other one, I wrote his one in a short story, and the other one in Poetry. Some people like my self choose to read poetry while other choose to read stories. Either way l do hope you enjoyed reading both. cheers." -- Amy, London, UK. Teens by Ryuichi Minamino (1) "Its okay...it probably be better if you finish IT!!! Do you ever finish what you started...hmmm....it still good though." -- Tohma. The Cat Who Could Read Backwards by Sean Fowler (6) "Very good. Nice be. Needs stage directions. Keep it up." -- avery(hannah). "I love it and yes you should continue your screenplay is well thought of and the scripts are clear i'll give it a 10 i can't wait for the next part of it of the play.. oh one more thing... that very last sentence it was funny" -- Aderp McRoberts, Moscow Mills, MO. "extreemly well done. Keep it up. you might want to enter it in some kind of contest. needs stage directions though, unless its a movie. that needs to be clear." -- cousin. "I'm excited to see that you've done well in adapting the book so far, and hope you will continue it. The layout is well done for screenplay format(I assume you want it to be a movie). The only problem I can see is that Qwill's last name is actually Qwilleran, instead of Qwillerman. Otherwise, it was a pleasure to see characters that I love in such a format, and I hope to read more of your work soon! " -- Kayla. "I think it would make intersressing play" -- J.H. "Very good, I love her books, the idea of a screenplay is wonderful, keep it up." -- Melissa, Jonesboro, AR, USA. This Spirt In Me by Yessayana Hartfield (3) "Interesting" -- Alvin Gladstone. "Sad story. Spacing between paragraphs would facilitate reading. The character can speak all the right words, but the cycle will be perpetuated because of the old admonition "do as I say, not as I do"" -- Gregory Allen. "I think this sad I also believe if Kid decided she dosen't want rise her baby there are pleant of people would take them." -- Jeanette H. Tabbie's Paradise by Jeaette Harris (1) "thank you for reading my play" -- J H. Duty Calls by Olurotimi Adeola (1) "I enjoyed the fact that you write from who you are and in your style of speaking and do not try to americanize it. I think it would make a very good film, and it would be great to see some Nigerian actors and actresses that no one had seen before in it! Great story line." -- Wringlet D Thouyer, po. Zappy by Gazza King (6) "Will its a beginning " -- Jeanette H. "i likedthe story. it will e ideal for young oys to value friendship and the end may have a moral lesson in it." -- camille, quezon, manila, Philippines. "Really liked it, heaps!" -- Tommy Lee. "This would make a great book. I hope yoo think about it. Thx!" -- matthew luke, melbourne, australia, victoria. "Not bad at all." -- tony. "make it a movie pleeeeze" -- trevor, sydney. Significance-First Draft by Patrick Collins (5) "Hi patrick, I read ur screenplay and it is one of the best scripts that i,ve read so far. However, sorry that i didn't find ur email address on the web. I'm anspiring filmamker and I would very much like to make your screenplay into a film. Please contact me on the email address if you get this message of mind. Thanks wilson" -- Wilson M, Sydney, Australia, NSW. "It is a great honor that someone has taken such interest in my script. But, I must ask how old you are and where you come from before I can give out any personal info. Nothing personal, but there are lots of creeps on the internet. But I am very anxious to here more about this offer, for I am almost done writing the second draft of this script, so please keep me updated on your interest. My second draft will be posted soon, and all responses to this topic get sent to my e-mail address" -- Collins, In, In, US. "Hi Collins. It is nice to hear back from you and I can almost feel your say that there are some" Creeps" on the internet. However, I'm not like that...I'm a student at Sydney International Film School in Syd Australia. And my area of study is directing, writing and producing. I can write myself and have made couple of short films that screened on our locals film festivals. But i was really look directing a story written by someone esle. So i search around and found ur story as a moving, simple story of dreams, passions and determination of a young girl who want to be good at what she like to do! So i could say that ur story is the best that I have never read on this web. It's also very great that u have redraft the story and developed it because if i were to make it, we can actaully be looking at 90 mins movie. I really want to do this story if you could give me that chance. i can see ur characters clearly in my head! Please I'm be looking forward to hear back from you soon. My age is 21. i'm old enough! Thanks you so much for getting back to me. Wilson" -- Wilson M, Sydney, Australia, NSW. "Hi Again. Can u email me direct this time? my email is [email protected] We would be able to talk further and safer there then. Thanks" -- Wilson M, Sydney, Australia, NSW. "Hi patrick, this is a wonderful screenplay, I'm not much of a sporting fan but this doesn't just deal with soccer it deals with life... which is really difficult to achieve at 15/16 years old.. would you allow it to become a theatre play for a drama class at school?" -- Chloe, NSW, Australia. Scary Tales by Chris Hofmann (1) "Read the 'Silver People' and the 'train' story.Not bad,the screenplays kept my interest.I don't understand what was so special about Zol and why he had the code and it was a sad ending.If Zol and Zel were unable to return to their city I don't see the point of saving them.As far as the train story is concerned I found some of your time travel talk a little confusing and I don't think they had walkie talkies in the 1940s.Other than that I thought the sceenplays were good and I'll read and reveiw the other two parts of your story another time." -- David . An-Arch-Y by A Panos (1) "What imagation. Kinda Weird " -- Jeanette H. Top Of The First Inning by A Panos (1) "I can picture them playing baseball great job." -- Jeanette H. The Last Mission by Shaun Goldsmith (1) "Dear Mr. Goldsmith, I found your synopsis to be quite interesting. I began reading the script but was wondering if you might send it along to me here at: [email protected] ??? If you could attach it in Microsoft Word format that would be great. My company is currently searching for material to produce. When I saw your synopsis I knew I wanted to contact you. I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience. Respectfully, William Blesch, Producer, From the Flames Productions" -- William Blesch, USA. Attacked! by Tom River (3) "I like this alot actually. You have a tendency to play on the double entendre of phrases for instance when the doctor makes jose a woman. YOu have potential. Also, classic line by Valdez "I do not like monsters. Especially the kind I don't believe in." Keep it up." -- Gary Kolarski, Washington, DC, USA. "this is really a greatstory but i really dont think it fits in a horror category.I think it is very funny instead of scarey..but u did a very good job...u make a good comedy writer! " -- Anoyumus. "I think this is more of laughable Holloween story which in my book a ten because noone every written something like this before." -- Jeanette H. Doing Man's Work by Mike Rembis (1) "Good Screen play. Here he lays in on line what imagation." -- Jeanette H. Go to page: 1 2 3 |
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