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Short Stories - Reviews |
I Need by R Bennett Okerstrom (15) "your poetry brougt tears to my eyes....do you have any more like it? This poem discribed my past few weeks in so little words, amazing!" -- Brooklyn Kennedy, Westwood, Mass, usa. "This is actually a song that I wrote, but it qualifies more as a poem since I never actually put music to it. It was written during a period when I was lost, without someone to share words with. " -- R. Bennett. "You are quite a romantic person. Are you single???" -- Tori. "I appreciate your favorable reviews Ms. Tori, but, alas, I am not available." -- R. Bennett. "You are amazing indeed! I have read all your poems. This is one of my favorites. Please put it to music. Congrats to the lucky lady." -- JM. "I'm really glad you didn't drown (;o) ...." -- Judith. "it would take me thousands of words to say this and still never capture the feeling - " -- Just A Guy. "This would make a really pretty song...I've got a rythme if you're interested. Mind of I put some chords to it? I play a little guitar. And I do mean a little, lol." -- Michelle. "This is excellent work! Where does your your inspiration for this type of work stem?" -- Molly. "Be my guest Michelle. I really didn't have an inspiration when I wrote this. It just sort of came to me like so much of my work does. When I get a thought in the car I record it on my voice mail. When I'm at work I e-mail myself. Other times I just jot down a line or two to jog my memory so I can write the rest later. It's funny how these things come to me. I appreciate all of your support -- all of you. None of this would mean a thing if people didn't like reading it!" -- R. Bennett . "this one strummed the heart strings..." -- mandi, va. "Quite the reaction I was looking for when I wrote it. I'm not always focused on darkness." -- R. Bennett. "Wow! The depth of longing that this poem reflects pulls you into it's emotion. I loved this poem! Very well written!" -- Carmen Gambel, Kamloops, B.C., Canada. "Oops, that's Carmen Gamble...typed too fast!" -- Carmen Gamble. "Glad you liked it Carmen. How 'bout them Blazers in the WHL, eh?" -- R. Bennett. Asylum Of My Soul by R Bennett Okerstrom (22) "I agree with you, it's hell to be caught inside yourself, kindda scary too. Keep writing, it's the path into the real you." -- Janae D Anthony. "This, too, was written during a dark period of my life when I was truly alone. I have since been lifted of my self anguish." -- R. Bennett. "After reading the rest of your work, this seems like it was written in a pretty bad time of your life. I still want to know if you are single though :-). What does the R stand for anyway?" -- Tori. "Hang in there buddy! I came back to storyville, bored I guess but I am looking for new stuff from you. I've been posting if you get a chance. By the way whats a Rumanian? A ruminating Romanian? Hmmmm, maybe you should give Tori a chance." -- olef. "In Rumania they don't spell it with an "O" my friend. I will be writing more soon. I am overwhelmed at work and don't currently have time for extra-curriculars." -- R. Bennett. "Read Andrew Lundwall's three poems" -- Andrew Lundwall. "wow honestly you are alot like me even though it is short the meaning behind this keeps you thinking for a long time." -- Jessie Finn. "I'm glad it keeps you thinking. It kept me thinking for months." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "You've been to the darkside too ...." -- Judith. "A few times. " -- R. Bennett. "Interesting how each line begins with an "A". That was a pretty unique way to write this poem. Good job!" -- Carolyn. "Thanks Carolyn. I try to write each piece with a new twist. Variety is the spice of life." -- R. Bennett. "Nice work R. Bennett. I've heard about you through other writers. You didn't disappoint me." -- The Reviewer. "Thanks. It amazes me how so many people like to read my work. I appreciate all of your kind words." -- R. Bennett . "what the hell is the poem about? it's presumably about loneliness, but then you meander all over the place. all you've done is strung a bunch of words together. a good poem has a point which is subtly expressed. you have a massive output but the quality is poor." -- sunny, dc, usa. "The quality is very good! You do not meander at all. Don't get sucked into sunny's misery. This is a good piece!" -- Erika. "Sunny is simply mixed up. No big deal. " -- R. Bennett. "Makes perfect sense to me; but then I have a degree in psychology...plus it's a place I visit often:) The most powerful image is "awake for the eternity within"" -- mia angello. "Thanks Mia! A psych degree? Hmmm." -- R. Bennett. "Introspective, yet demands accountability. We all are alone and too few look within to identify and accept their true nature. This...of all of your work that I have read, I feel is the most provacative. "Anywhere but here," but we have no choice, do we?" -- Royal D. "Ah, but there are always choices...you just may not like the options." -- R. Bennett. "I think that as far as a soul goes...our choices are limited. I like that you mention accountability, self corruption and remembrances. To not choose denial...that's how I take it." -- Royal D. Six by R Bennett Okerstrom (13) "Very powerful. When read in either direction--up and down or left to right-- it flows nicely. A very unique presentation with effective results. Once again, your work leaves me wanting more." -- Ivan. "I was in a Nine Inch Nails sort of mood." -- R. Bennett. "You are absolutely correct about the parallels--must be universal consciousness or something...I love this poem, and I love 9"nails also..." -- Mia Angello, WI. "And on the seventh day ......" -- Judith . "Hmm. I never really considered a 7th day. I guess the last line "Six days to kill you" pretty much dictates that there isn't a 7th day for you. Sorry." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "But there is for you .... and on the 7th day ... he rested" -- Judith . "Unfortunately, there is no rest for the wicked." -- R. Bennett. "Short, simple, sexy...I love it!" -- Michelle. "I don't think I was trying to be sexy with this piece. I guess it could be seen that way in a sadistic kind of way. " -- R. Bennett. "yes, sexy. why? i am unsure, but i know its hot." -- syndi. "Thanks Syndi. " -- R. Bennett. "I immediately thought of using someone up and disposing of them. I too may be sadistic and didn't realize it. But sexy? Isn't orgasm often referred to as "the little death"? I like that idea. " -- Royal D. "The old "use and abuse" addage. Nice. It fits." -- R. Bennett. Shattered Dream by R Bennett Okerstrom (11) "I once had a friend who did this to me as well. I know how you feel." -- Jack U., Providence, RI. "The betrayal hurt more than anything. I lost two friends that day." -- R. Bennett. "Now that was a very powerful piece! This is an awesome poem. I wish I could write with that intensity of emotion." -- mia angello, wi. "Thanks again Mia. This piece reminds me of how easily one can be blinded by love." -- R. Bennett. "R.Bennett, without doubt, this is one of the best poems I have had the pleasure to read on this board! A perfect 10 in my book. You remain the Master!" -- Monte. "I don't know about being the "master," but thanks for all of the support and kind reviews Monte!" -- R. Bennett. "Monte is on to something. You are one of the best on this site for sure." -- The Reviewer. "i know how you feel- i've been betrayed by friends like that too...it hurts...keep writing..." -- kat, Aust.. "I will." -- R. Bennett. "Your poem was 141 words of truth and I,ve got 3 words for you I LOVED IT !!!" -- nerya, N.S.B., Florida, America. "I am glad that you liked it NSB. Read on." -- R. Bennett. Seed by R Bennett Okerstrom (4) "Another short poem that exceeded my expectation. Some say that poetry should be meaningful to only the writer, yet even your short work hits home somehow. Again, I will read on." -- Ivan. "Exceeding Expectations is my life! " -- R. Bennett. "...as usual I am impressed" -- Michelle. "Thanks Michelle. I stopped after eight lines because I felt that it was complete. I wrote this in 1995 and it still makes sense to me." -- R. Bennett. Karen . . . by Olef Ransom Saulles (5) "I love my baby, yes indeed." -- alex remer. "I wish I was your girl:)" -- Celia. "This is one of those poems, that while you read it, your mind is at peace. When you finish it, you feel warm, but your feet are kind of cold." -- Kimberly. "...makes me feel good to be named Karen. Though I am not THAT Karen." -- Karen. "the poem started off good, strong imagery and the love ode point was clear too...but starting at the wine "from anything?", sentence it went downhill and the end was not in line with the overall poem. you need to concentrate, think the whole poem out in your head and then write...i sense you think of ideas, but execution on paper is the key." -- sunny, dc, usa. Someone Like You by R Bennett Okerstrom (7) "Ah, harkening back to the rhymes of romance. In truth, I felt rhymes were nearly cliche but your consistency and determination prove undaunted. I would like to see a more radical interpretation of ideas but this is a job well done." -- Candy. "One must ne'er discard romance. Without romance, the world is a boring sphere." -- R. Bennett. "I had thought that romantic poetry had died until I read this! There are a lot of poets on this website who write a bit too radically for me. You, on the otherhand, are able to portray that of an Olde English poet or that of a new age radical. Wow! I am at a loss for words. " -- Lynne, Ft. Worth, Texas. "Very vivid and effective. Rhyming, yes, but quite romantic without being sappy. It works well." -- Mistina. "Another fine compliment from the much heralded Ms. Bates. Thanks again!" -- R. Bennett. "I adore this poem; one suggestion, however--if you shorten your last line by one, the meter would match your other stanzas--ie, "I am so happy you're with me." " -- Mia, WI. "Damn Mia. You caught me at my own pet peeve. It's a good thing I wrote this in 1995 before I was so particular about matching stanzas. " -- R. Bennett . The 5-String by Thomas Maddener (4) "I really like the first line-it caught my attention and made me want to read more. I also really liked the line "these are just footsteps..." Great job!" -- Amber B Shields, MN, USA. "Beautiful." -- buck jones. "Floored me, and I mean it." -- olef ransom saulles. "5-STAR/OUT OF FIVE...." -- mickey roots. Temporary Dreams by R Bennett Okerstrom (11) "Short and sweet. True, dreams are only temporary. It is somewhat amazing how you have the ability to paint such a vivid image on the brain in so few little words. Excellent." -- Ivan. "When one is alone, they have a lot of time to dream. " -- R. Bennett. "you hit the nail on the head ivan it is short and sweet, but even though it is short its incredibly vivid. i love it, although i do love my dreams too. ironically you start to love dreams when your alone." -- Jessie Finn. "Unfortunately, dreams are only temporary." -- R. Bennett. "Yes, dreams are temporary, but can be so much sweeter than reality ... to sleep perchance to dream ..." -- Judith. "To sleep. Ah yes. But, you do not need to sleep to dream. " -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "And dreams that come without need of sleep are all the sweeter ..." -- Judith . "Why must dreams be only temporary? " -- mattie. "Dreams occur in a perfect world, reality shuns them." -- R. Bennett . "how would you like to wake up from the depression and find your dreams to be your salvation....I'm almost there." -- mia angello. "Waking up from the depression is a victory in and of itself. Keep fighting Mia!" -- R. Bennett. Sounds Of A Summer Countryside by R Bennett Okerstrom (4) "Finely written with a distinctly and deeply impressionistic intent. Details are clear and potent. So clear in fact that I could almost hear the sounds myself as I read...exemplary job! You accomplished what you set out to accomplish. " -- Cole D. Wilmot, Amherst, MA, USA. "When I can hear myself think, I write more clearly. It is not often that I can get away from the cursed din of the workplace to translate these thoughts onto paper or, in this case, a pc." -- R. Bennett. "the repetition of the sentences is extremely annoying. i had to read the poem 3 times to grudgingly not give it a F. it does not flow well and some of the sentences are not well constructed. i can hear the sounds that you mention...not sure that they all belong in the summer countryside category." -- sunny, dc, usa. "Again, sunny, we can't all be as perfect as you seemingly are." -- R. Bennett. Red Bewilderment by William W. Degravelles (1) "The best of your submissions. You may be on to something." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Questions by Fizzgig McArthur (3) "Very witty and clever. Something to ponder. Very enjoyable. Thank You" -- Maryla. "Jesse-Will you marry me?" -- Michelle Worswick, topeka, ks, usa. "that was a good one. it was in the cardinal news right?" -- erin. No Title. (Inthespiritofcoltrane) by Martin De Leon (1) "It's akin to the sensual poems of Pablo Neruda - perhaps, a second grade. But you've got taste in choosing your template." -- Mary Jo Javier. My Three Loves by Richard Koss (1) " You couldn't have said it much better than that!" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. J by Jane Elen (1) "The day burns either way. Powerful ending." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Imperfection by R Bennett Okerstrom (12) "Interesting style. I must admit that I have not seen this kind of style in quite some time. Exellent choice of wording and usage." -- Stuart, Cambridge, MA. "Nobody's perfect!" -- R. Bennett. "You are extremely talented. Have you published? Maybe you should." -- mia angello, WI. "Thanks for the compliment. I haven't published anything yet. Maybe I should." -- R. Bennett. "Love the style, love the wording...." -- Michelle. "Oh my I must have had this stuck in my head. Sorry to be a copy-cat. It was totally unintentional. Want me to delete?" -- Michelle. "You don't have to delete yours by any means. I am flattered that something I created stuck in your head enough that you subconsciously wrote something similar. It's really flattering. " -- R. Bennett . "i love this piece, it's a pity that some people have forgotten that life isn't perfect- without order nothing can exist, without chaos nothing can evolve....it's nice to just exist for once and not worry about every little thing, if you did you might forget to live and what a shame that would be..." -- kat, Australia. "jesus benett...rhyming poetry!!! um the poem sucks people. what was the point? and don't say it had no point because sometimes life should have no point also...i will find and beat you :)" -- sunny, dc, usa. "Sunny, thanks for your support. It's ok to revert back to a simple rhyme scheme. Maybe it isn't as "cool" as my other pieces, but my goal was to utilize words that all ended in "tion" -- they don't necessarily rhyme." -- R. Bennett. "Bennett dear, I hate to mention, I'm not sure if it's your intention, Your voice has taken a new inflection. Though it may be your contention, It doesn't make the same connection." -- Royal D. "That's funny..." -- R. Bennett. Howling Child by Anndoc (1) "This is very beautiful, Anndoc! Keep writing!" -- Vianne. His Blood by Janae D Anthony (2) "With your words of verse and rhyme a story told a thousand times, So true today as it was then, May God Bless you and Amen!!!" -- Monte, USA. "two thumbs up 4 u..." -- kennedy, lagos, nigeria. Crickets Even Sound Indifferent by Anndoc (1) "I like this poem, for reasons unknown to me. " -- Will deGravelles, Baton Rouge, LA, U.S.. Ugly Love Poems by Tony Seljuk (2) "I just read "deviant love affair." it's fantastic, really...you're brutally honest, your work is so candid...i love it." -- Anon., Westport, CT, USA. "Loved Roses In Words." -- Meg. Rain by Philip Banik (2) "This is a cool poem. I like the imagery. Well done." -- will, Baton Rouge, LA, U.S.. "The simplicity is the charm. Great visual input." -- Neptune. My Wife Is Missing by Richard Koss (1) "Neat, mellifluous and polished - plainly artistic" -- Mary Jo Javier. I Went To Sleep Sober But I Woke Up Drunk by L Chapman (2) "I went to sleep sober, but I woke up drunk. Catchy title got my attention right away. I got the meaning of everything you were trying to convey" -- Wilma Walker, Huntsville , AL. "Not that deep but funny!" -- jut, anywhere, nc, usa. Hick Life by L Chapman (1) "I liked this poem. I'm a black girl originally from OH and I grew up on welfare. Everybody blamed our poverty on white people, which never made sense to me sense my white friends were poor and on welfare too. If I spoke about this, sometimes I would get a smack in the head. I'm happy you wrote this, it proves that everyone, no matter what their color or ethnicity, can experience poverty." -- E.D. Traynum, Atlanta, GA. Empty Space by Lissa N Metz-Gomez (2) "I like this piece more. One must suffer the wound of love in order to know what true love means. So the ones we hold dear the most are the ones who can also leave us with the deepest wound in our hearts. And if a heart is broken, it makes us resist to feel what could be true in our living moments. We roam as if everywhere all is empty." -- chy, cdo, philippines. "Thank you for demonstrating have very emotive writting can be. You have encapsulated not only your thoughts, but also a common theme in what it is to be mortal; fallible. Please keep writing; we need more voices like yours." -- A J Magy, Sfld, MI, US. Ancestral Voices by Attallah Hajj (1) "I can really feel this poetry. I think it is wonderful. Maybe you should consider getting a book published. What is the rest of the poems?" -- Madinah. Why Do You Like Me by Ranay Mueller (2) "this one is a lot better than the other one i reviewed. keep it up! doin' great! :):)" -- Christy Mack. "better still...a little rhythm will help,though..." -- kennedy, lagos, ni. 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