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The Hick Poem by L Chapman (3)
"WOW!! Funny!! Loved it loved it!! The dollar store is my favorite!!! Ever blow embarassing amounts of money there? I'm cut off from them!!" -- Jessica G..
"This poem was extremely creative. The poem lacked flow and it was choppy in places.Overall it could use a little work to make it smoother." -- Kurt Defenbaugh, Normal, il, U.S..
"what have you written kurt, i would like to critique some of your creations....." -- pat.


Waiting For My Guest by Mary Jo Javier (2)
"This, like much else you have written tells me you really hurt. If that is what you wanted to convey, you have succeeded. You can only tell it so many ways, so many times. We must all learn to let go and eventually, we do." -- Dick koss.
"Hi Good site. It would be desirable to return again and again!" -- Dori, New York, ME, united states.


Visions From Hell And Others by Steven K Mitchell (6)
"Yes, I think you tell it well. How many dreams seem so real that upon awakening, we feel such relief to know they were not. But it can be frightening to discover tangible evidence that some of what we drempt was indeed real. Like the man who drempt he swallowed a giant marshmallow and woke up to find his pillow gone. (kidding aside) You handle this genre as well as anyone I've read." -- Dick Koss.
"Dear Mr. Koss- Thank you for your kind review, and watch for multiple poetry chapbooks in disparite genres (erotic, inspirational, more)coming soon..." -- Steven K. Mitchell.
"I dunno, I thought the dreams were a little conceptualized. I really shouldn't be one to judge, I have no way of knowing what other people's dreams are like. But my nightmares are usually based a great deal in reality, which is what makes them so frightening. Maybe you read the Inferno the night before. well told though." -- Michael Hunter.
"Dear Mr. Hunter-Allow me to clarify that none of the poems were based on actual dreams." -- Steven K. Mitchell.
"this is the first poetry that i love since i got here. it's great.keep up the good work,steven. i've never had that such idea in my mind. :)" -- Andy Green , greenland.
"Thank you Andy. Please eme if you want more. Steve" -- Steven K Mitchell, USA.


Victims by Richard Koss (2)
"I think that this poem is actual two poems. The first one ending with the lines, "Then in misery, as you�re wallowing, you�ll be joined by quite a following." The two parts have such a different rhythm and character that I think they would be stronger if they were seperate entities. " -- John amos.
"Thank you John, your criticism is quite valid. Not one of my better efforts technically, but I think the theme is more important than its presentation." -- RICHARD.


Unspoken Sentiments by Mary Jo Javier (1)
"There are some things to like about this but it shouldn't be like pulling teeth to figure out what you're trying to say. Sometimes in searching for symbolic, mataphoric expressions, we get lucky with a few, but also end up using some that become mere filler and detract from the beauty of the rest of the poem. Too ambitious, I think. Next time try for more simplicity." -- Dick Koss.


Twenty-Eight by Ashley Burdett (2)
"First of all I want to tell you that I found each of your poems very amusing and moving. You are very talented and I hope you will post more here! The kite poem made me giggle...such a cute twist I can't seem to produce in my writing. Church is one that I could surely identify with as I grew up in church and pondered what people could be thinking and then the hefty question at the end gives the reader something hard to chew on. Great stuff. Twenty-eight moved me to tears though. My parents just divorced after 24 years of marriage and 4 years ago, for their 20th anniversary (my 16th year) I wrote a poem for them, it was awful, but it made them cry. And yours made me cry too. Just brought back that memory of seeing my parents as the perfect married couple. Well, keep writing Ashley. Keep bein a student of the world too! Carpe Diem." -- AC Christine.
"Sorry about the typos....anyway...wanted to let you know I post here too and feel free to read my stuff!" -- AC Christine.


Those Beautiful Eyes by Jessica G. (1)
"this poem was so cute and could be looked at in various ways....i like it" -- sandi, chicago, il.


Stop Your Complaining by Michael Hunter (1)
"I can see that your poetry was not meant for depth, so I read it without expecting any. :-) In that light I thought it made sence, I had an ex-boyfriend with the same problem almost. " -- Kimberly De Liz.


Ophelia by Redell Turner (1)
"Nice. Simple, but somehow original-I like it. " -- Meg.


Looking Through Glass by Mary Jo Javier (1)
"wala lang, di ko naman binasa, hahaha!" -- rob!, rob city!, state of rob!, in the country of rob!.


Just The Two Of Us by Ranay Mueller (3)
"The only advice I could give you is to make this piece of writing into a poem. I really enjoyed reading this; it was so sweet. The writing made me feel very happy. Great job." -- Jessica Parise, Normal, IL, USA.
"This poem is well written but it seems to give the idealistic view of a perfect relationship. It gives the reader the thought that this is how it should be and how perfect you can feel knowing someone is there with you. This definitely gives off the warm and close feeling." -- Gina Parise, Normal, IL, USA.
"great,but i agree with jessica.make it into a poem,it'd be explosive1" -- kennedy, lagos, nigeria.


Jkpayson by Olef Ransom Saulles (3)
"I'm speechless too. What was that!?" -- Ka_sey.
"Hey, Olef! Nice to review you again :-) I have my own thoughts on your thingy here, so I'll spread them out for you to look over. I think jkpayson is jake payson. or J.K. Payson, and his friend is drunk or high and saying things all wierd, and maybe even going nuts, or maybe he hung up the phone to commit suicide in his nuttness or something... I dunno! But me, myself, have always been a humongous fan of stories, or poems, that make you think and discover your own path is so discovering the authors' main plan for his work. You've pulled it off, Olef, and I thankyou for that refreshing tidbit of... something. :-)" -- Kimberly De Liz.
"A very unique way to capture the art of instant messaging. Nice job Olef." -- Rbokie24, L-Town.


I'm Bored by L Chapman (1)
"lol! u most be very bored!" -- lori-ann.


I Had No Idea Misery Compounded by Olef Ransom Saulles (1)
"weird, but i liked it...don't know what youre talking about though, not that it matters." -- sunny, dc, usa.


Father by Candace Apple (4)
"Enjoyable, sparse, but imagic. Interested in reading more ...." -- Joe Gill, LA, CA, USA.
"Candy is that you? I wonder who father is." -- Eric R. Apple, USA.
"I do not know who you are, but interestingly, I have a twin brother named Eric! Your review gave me quite a turn." -- Candace.
"THATS PRETTY DEEP, YOU WERE GREAT WITH GETTING YOUR POINT ACROSS.ID LIKE TO READ MORE." -- april.


Douglas Cliche Part Two by Richard Lynch (1)
"Richard, So "kewl" to see Douglas not intimidated and challenged by the opportunity! Douglas sees pass the hurdles and only the goal line (the galley) and its amazing how unintimidated he feels because of the challenge that lays ahead rather than the hurdles he must jump. He's not scared of the pirates and he's not scared to meet the obstacles. That takes drive and determination and guts. And now let's see if he will meet the challenges of "pleasing the pirates appetite" for food rather than for destruction and evil doings... Perhaps "taming their appetites" will tame their souls.. As you can see >>, I've become an admirer of your works, Richard... Perhaps this poem is a reflection of the appetite YOU need fulfilled....or the "hunger and drive" you share with your writing... " -- Helen J. Scherrer, Marietta, GA, USA.


A Poem About Obscene Language by L Chapman (1)
"'Fucking' hilarious.And well worded. I remember my introduction to reality after the 'schooling' experience. Visiting a friend who moved out and had a roomate who was a teacher, Ms. ***. We all pulled bongs into the night. I felt liberated from the illusion which is authority. I guess I'll plug my stuff if thats OK. Check it out." -- olef ransom saulles.


The Muse by John Thomas Barragan (3)
"I'd hate to burst your cute lil' bubble and all, because I appreciate the gender flattery, but we women are not all THAT great. Some women are just... wrong. And ugly. But, if someone wrote that for ME, I'd blush like a merry schoolgirl and probably marry him without another single thought in my lil' blonde head. Damn stereotype! But I like your high view of women a lot, and it shows times HAVE changed." -- Kimberly De Liz.
"I thought that the poem made little if no sense. It did nothing but remind me of a commercial. Good thought though. The only thing that ruined it for me was the way he talked about the girl as if he didn't know her at first then like he knew her. If the author had kept it the same thoughout then it might have made more sense to me." -- Andy Howard, Normal, Illinios, USA.
"Well done! The contradiction used is a very effective tool!" -- Camryn Chase, NS, Canada.


The 30 Seconds Poet by L Chapman (1)
"The poem was very amusing and had some structure to it. I would suggest incorportating a meter or something else that the reader can enjoy. Maybe some alliteration would help the content of the poem." -- Tom , Lassandrello, IL, U.S..


Sleep by L Chapman (1)
"Very cute poem. Much like all americans I wish I could sleep later too. I enjoyed your poem, but I thought it was lacking something. In my opinion you would benefit greatly going to a free verse style of writing. This way you would be able to express your ideas on sleeping more with out ryhming at the end of each sentence. I think you could have painted a better picture if were not forced to use some of the rhyming verbs and nouns." -- Jason Wodzien, Normal, Illinois, United States of America.


Rice Krispy Treat Squares by L Chapman (3)
"BEAUTIFUL!!! Amen to that!" -- Jessica G.
"Its good to see such an avid fan of rice krispy treats out there. " -- Will deGravelles, Baton Rouge, LA, U.S..
"that last line could have been better.....it makes your poem sound trite" -- georgi.


Please Read My Poem - Again by Richard Koss (10)
"That poem SUCKED! ;-D Truth hurts, eh? In all seriousness, nice aspect. This has been on my mind for a while, but it's not too pressing a matter. Storymania had degenerated into crap lately. No one reviews...I mainly post just for my novels to be copyrighted so I can send them off to various people without being scared of plagiarism. But a good message nonetheless. Some of the rhymes seemed forced. The fluidity of each stanza is barely there. Work on rhythm and rhyme, if you've got the time...peaches and limes...I'm straining to find...a rhyme...for rhyme....God help me...:-D" -- Tyrant.
"Cool ideas. I'm kinda guilty of the not reviewing thing meeself. I liked the poem enough, and though I agree with the idea I think the execution could have been handled a little nicer. Like Tyrant said, some rhymes seemed a little forced, but on the whole a decent poem. not as good as mine of course..." -- Michael Hunter, Cos Cob, CT, USA.
"Now! That's more like it, Tyrant and Michael. I really appreciate your honest criticism and just to show you how much I agree,(the rhyme was forced and fluidity was almost non-existent)I have revised the poem under "Please Read My Poem - Again." Although it's not perfect, I think it's much improved. Maybe my point would have been better made in the form of an essay. When we choose poetry, we are limited by our choice of words, especially if we use rhyme. By the way, I do have a lot of respect for your opinion Tyrant, and although some writers may find that your reviews make them feel as though you're trying to live up to your pseudonym, I find them to be "firmly" objective, sort of like tough love." -- Dick Koss.
"Please Read My Poem-Again...I'll give you props for the title. Were you the genius behind "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer?" Anywho, thanks for all that, but I can be an ass to some people. But I usually reserve my assiness for titles that truly deserve it. :D *Coughfreeperiodcough* I'll be checking out your sequel." -- Tyrant.
"I didn't even realize this WAS the revised version...I'm so silly. Anyway, there are still some issues with fluidity. The second stanza...the admiration bit...just doesn't fit. I don't know how to describe it, really...it just doesn't feel right. Read it out loud and maybe you'll see what I mean. It's all in the syllables, really. If you don't see it, maybe I'm wrong, but I dunno. Maybe you should just try and write it prose. You'd probably get a lot more across, though it might lose it's playfulness and read more like a lecture. Use your own discretion on this one." -- Tyrant.
"I get what you're saying and what you wanted for the readers to understand in your poem, and the idea is really cute and all, but I agree with them. A thing that will possibly help your rythem is a thesaurus. Instead of ruining your rythem with an extra syllable, like the four in "oridnary" try using the two syllable-just-as-good "normal" so they words will positively roll of your tongue, and give you some great reviews to support you on your way. Good job!" -- Kimberly De Liz.
"Thanks to all of you. I think I'll give up on the poem. I guess I made my point. I was going try one more version called "Please Read My Fucking Poem-Again" but I changed my mind." -- Dick Koss.
"Why don't you name it "Please Read This New Poem I Wrote...It's Not the Old One...I Swear"?" -- Tyrant.
"Found this poem somehow, messing about read it right through, and it kinda cried out "I lack basic rhythm, stlye and technique! But if I allude to that fact and anyone speaks of how dull and dreary, limp and inane my poem has been I can quite rightly say, 'That's what I wanted! Your jibes and hostility It's not that I lack the basic ability!' It's just what I hate about people sometimes pre-empt the strike and you'll always be fine. " -- Phillip, Chicago.
"Stumbled across this entry which must have been posted quite a while ago. My question to Phillip from Chicago is this: If a poem lacks basic rhythm, style, and technique, is it still a poem? Does an author not have individual license to ignore the parameters of these elements of poetry and if not, who determines what is correct rythm, as well as the adequacy of style and technique? Poetry is not just the beauty of words put together in a classical or creative format, spiked with metaphors and similes, it is about a theme or a story or just making a point. I think the author has made his point and ironically, amateur critics who are annoyed by the inferior construction of the poem, have not only missed his point, they have made it for him. " -- Jules.


Being by Olef Ransom Saulles (1)
"Beautiful, Olef :-) I liked the way your sentences rolled. But what draws me to THIS poem is it's words. Words are beautiful, and you use them well. Great work, and you BETTER keep 'em comin, buster! :-)" -- Kimberly De Liz.


Another Time by Ann Chu (1)
"Sweet and simpple. A little short for my tastes, a little plain, but good. " -- Uanna.


The Saga Of Douglas Cliche - Part One by Richard Lynch (8)
"How cuuuute I enjoyed it very much. I like the way you write, it's always well paced. :-):-);-);-);-):)" -- Kimberly De Liz.
"Kimberly, First, thanks for your comments. They mean a great deal to me. Second, since you are the only person to have responded more than once to my poetry, you are hereby dubbed my first groupie. Congratulation, thanks again, and have a Dr. Pepper on me. B-)" -- Richard Lynch.
";-)" -- Kimberly De Liz.
"Rich, all I can say is your rock! :-) " -- Heather , Wanye , PA , USA .
"Such patience and skill...admirable." -- Jac Howard.
""Richard is my little brother . . . I always knew that he was clever, and I am happy to see that his work has touched people! Your responses to his work mean a lot to me--thanks." Carrie-Ann" -- Carrie-Ann Biondi, Bowling Green, Ohio.
"Richard, Since I visualize the pirates and I see the gleam in the chef's eye, your poem captures the essence of an opportunity for Douglas Cliche`. Douglas is "in his element" if he can fill the bellies of hungry, evil pirates. "Way to a man's heart is through his stomach" is definitely understood. The pirates need some of Douglas' "good cookin'" Perhaps their sea adventures will now be more promising with stomachs filled and contented appetites... " -- Helen Scherrer, Marietta, GA, USA.
"And the pirates gave him his calling to make the hasty retreat and be his own man. Escellent and very rhythmic." -- Sandy Daley.


The Better Man by Richard Koss (3)
"Hmm, not bad. I can't say I've ever seen NUNS shopes before, but what can I say? It was a semi interesting poem, but lusting for a second or two does not mean losing the 'possible' love of your life to God. Good job, though." -- Kimberly De Liz.
"Thank you Kimberly for your thoughts. I don't know where you read "shopes," I refer only to funny "shoes." I've read some of your poetry- very thought provoking, but so deep and soul- searching. When I was your age I never wondered about such things because I thought I understood everything.(Boy was I wrong) As for my poem, it's really just a story about a soldier who spots the girl of his dreams,only to see her disappear from his life without a chance to meet her. It's not lust, more like puppy love. When he realizes she's a nun, he doesn't feel so bad losing her to God.(as Catholics, we grew up being told that nuns were married to God.) It's just a story, Kim, no symbolic or mystical message, just a story. And it's true. I know, because that young soldier was me. " -- Dick Koss.
"Shopes.. heh heh... I know I don't understand everything, but despite my age I am going to college in Feb. I really do like your poem, I beg you know, and I hope you continue to write as well as you do now." -- Kimberly De Liz.


Sonnet by Olef Ransom Saulles (1)
"I wanted to read some of your work after what you said about my poem: thanks: and I'm not dissapointed at all. You have a real talent, and I'm sure if you're not published already maybe someone will come along and do your work justice by seeing to it." -- Kimberly De Liz.


Poem Thread by Olef Ransom Saulles (1)
"Congratulations on over 4000 hits! I would love to have 4000 hits on one of my many pieces of work." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.


My Blood Spills Out. by Olef Ransom Saulles (1)
"Ah, the grand taste of a Baubie's Matzo Ball soup coupled with a wooden spoon!" -- Rbokie24, L-Town.


Home To You by Teresa Little (1)
"Wonderful job, you're a very good writer. Keep it up, and know that whether I repond or not, I'll for sure read it. Bye, and live happy." -- Kimberly De Liz.


Happenstance At 79th And Broadway by Olef Ransom Saulles (3)
"I read this and maybe it'll come to me later. Sort of like when I stepped in dog shit but didn't know it until later when I smelled it driving in my car." -- Dick Koss.
"Sorry Olef, I posted my review on the wrong piece. It was for JKPayson. This was actually pretty good. " -- Dick Koss.
"Do your guitar strings break often on stage?" -- R. Bennett.


Darkness by Kishore Daswani (4)
"I can see where you were trying to get with this poem, but I didn't feel it very acutely. Not really enough... heart. Depth. A center or cause for this person's pain. Remember, just because it's a poem and not a story, doesn't mean it can't have a climax and meaning." -- Kimberly De Liz.
"feeling that nobody cares if you are dead or not. More importantly, I'd like to know whether or not YOU care! You seem to want to be rescued - you know only you can save yourself at the end of the day. I can relate with the "dark side" and your analogies but think you should hone it down for greater impact." -- Lou(ise) Friedman, Hoboken, NJ, USA.
"This poem was very insightful. I could feel your saddness and frustration. The words were extremely descriptive and captured my attention." -- Julie Fehrenbacher, Elwin, Illinois, United States.
"Very angst-laden. The emotion was there, directed toward the outside world, craving attention. No introspection, no soul-searching, just emotional disfigurement. Where is the anguish? " -- W. N. Dayley, USA.


Daredevle by Olef Ransom Saulles (4)
"Good job, I liked it. You're a natural." -- Kimberly De Liz.
"The search for autonomy is neverending. The cycle of life does not allow for it. We live, we die, we are reborn..never autonomous. You will be reunited with that which you seek during the cycle." -- Rbokie24, L-Town.
"what?" -- olef.
"I dunno. It sounded cool when I wrote it several months ago....it must be the water here in Detroit." -- Rbokie24.


The Hunger Cult by Martin Rutley (2)
"I really emjoyed reading your poem, it deserves to be read by more people. I can tell you're one of the writers that I will come to watch for. " -- Kimberly De Liz.
"Really like this. Reminds me of "Future Legend" by David Bowie from "Diamond Dogs" - not a criticism, I`ve found music a big inspiration in my "writing"." -- Peter Rivendell.


There are 34 title entries with reviews on this page.


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