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Poetry - Reviews |
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Short Stories - Reviews |
Sis by L Jay (7) "I know how you feel, i have three older sisters and would love to tell them all of this!" -- Tamsin. "An amazing poem, I am sitting at my desk with tears in my eyes as I read it....this is the way of sisters obviously, I think this of Tam and my other sisters! Keep writing L Jay, it's amazing stuff!" -- Tamsins sister (Briony Carvalho). "Thanks to both of you for the reviews, sorry i didn't mean it to stir that much emotion, yeah It must be a thing of sisters. My brother doesn't think the same though :-)" -- l Jay. "It's a stunning poem and you should be proud that you stirred so much emotion! Boys...thinking? ha ha!" -- Briony. "Thanks. Have you got any stuff on here?? Yeah boy's don't ever seem to think, My brother never thinks or does anything apart from play playstation games." -- l Jay. "I wish I was more like a boy sometimes..life seems so much easier for them! Yep - look at Briony Carvalho...got one just under yours in new titles at the mo" -- Briony. "Man why anyone would want to be a boy is beyond me, they don't look good and they smell terrible! I did look at your stuff and I like it, I urge people to read anything By Briony!" -- l Jay. Losing Battle by R Bennett Okerstrom (6) "Welcome back RBO! Broken dreams are your specialty...or so you once Told me! Anyhow this was good...anything new? And where have you been?" -- Mattie. "I agree. This was pretty good. You must have a bit of a reputation here?" -- Kendra. "Thanks Mattie and Kendra. I have been working on some new stuff. I haven't been very creative because, to be honest, my job has taken over my life and I hate it. I will try and post some newer stuff soon." -- R. Bennett. "Storymania's greatest writer returns! This is really good R.B.! You have only gotten better with time!" -- JM. "I don't know about being the "greatest" but I'd like to think of my work as "above average" for sure. Thanks JM." -- R. Bennett. "I am known best for darkness...." -- R. Bennett. Severed by Samara (3) "this style of writing has never really been to my taste but i do feel strangely addicted to this one as well as the other one,its not necessarily a negative song,more a realistic message.good stuff!" -- Stuart, Birmingham, England. "Hey I really think you did a great job on this one keep up the good work." -- Brian L. "I really liked this...check for typo's though...makes it harder to read when you have those. :)" -- mattie. Blasphemy Impotence by Samara (9) "Cheer up love! To be fair, feeling bad kickstarted my urges to write, it took me a long time to be able to create anything with words unless i felt truly awful. Now I think I understand happiness as well as sadness, hope things turn out the same for you in the long run...." -- Iain Spittles. "I think we all know what it is like to write from negative feelings. This was great, loved it..." -- Byron. "This was very well written...loved the imagery. Writing when I feel negative feelings is my way to cope with those feelings and express myself with words no one wants to hear" -- mattie. "A beautifully written peice, loved the religous imagery. Peace " -- Hugh. "Welcome to SM Samara! You have some serious talent here, don't let it go to waste ok? Great read, superb." -- Josh / AxeY. "Thank you all very much" -- Samara. "a great song,rather than just explaining your feelings to other people you give them leads with your metaphors,and the titles quite inviting aswell,i dont think anyone can scroll past your song and not click into it,and i dont think anyone who reads it could possibly have a negative word to say about it." -- Stuart Mould, Birmingham, England. "I love your work, it is very enticing and you have a good vocabulary, I imagine you must read a lot. Which I feel is pretty useful/ essential when it comes to this art. The imagery is also good as has been said and your complex use of words means that you have to really think about what the poem means and I really like that, a good brain exercise." -- Dave Sutton. "Well, you do love the word don't you? ANd you love to juxtapose them in odd phraseology with a talent that tells me you do read. However, this one is so obtuse, so complex, that simple-minded folk just don't get it. At least I don't What are you saying? Ue your substantial craft to clarify with cystalline poignancy, instead of obfuscating with conundrums." -- dee. Tiny Dreams by Briony Carvalho (10) "What beatiful pome." -- Jeanette H. "Awesome I love the style and the thought put into this piece,GREAT JOB!!!" -- Brian L. "This is beautiful. I think you should get rid of some of the "she"'s though...there are too many. " -- km. "I agree with you KM - I'll work on it a bit and re-submit it with less she's! - thank you all for the comments though" -- Briony. "I agree with KM it had too many she's before, It works better now. What was your influence??" -- T B, Maidenhead, Berks. "Hi T B, just the usual life problems everyone has when you start off life wanting the moon on a stick and ending up realising that you have to settle for a piece of cheese!" -- Briony. "I loved it! I don't know about your comment regarding settling for a little piece of cheese though...darn! a great big hunk of it is a minimal expectation don't you think? Anyway very well written, I look forward to reading your other posts. Welcome!" -- mattie. "I would love a HUUUGGGGEEE chunk of cheese but so far I've only got a cracker sized bit - thank you for your comments everyone... it's really nice to know that you like my stuff!" -- Briony. "I know how you feel, I would love a big bit of cheese too." -- Tamsin. "All this cheese talk is making me hungry, Nice piece, Briony" -- kwilt. Who Rules The World by OgorodovA (2) "A brilliant poem, i love it when people question those in power. Peace" -- Hugh. "Thanks for comments, Hugh... Best wishes from Ecuador... Alex" -- Alexei Ogorodov. Tree by Tamsin Butler (7) "A moving a beautiful poem x" -- Briony, Reading, Maidenhead. "A lovely poem with the descriptive insight almost alike prose...its beauty from sorrow...just the way i like it..." -- Samara. "thanks for your lovely comments." -- Tamsin, england. "Yes you are a true star" -- Anjula Sharma, Berkshire, United Kingdom. "Thank you. :)" -- Tamsin. "thought i would check out some of your stuff as you checked out mine, I like it!" -- l Jay. "Thanks, I am glad someone likes it." -- Tamsin. Thursday's Child by Ken Harbec (5) "I find myself drawn to this site to see if perhaps, by chance - it has become ritual. 4:10 daily. I wish you happiness, from the depths of my being. You are special, so very special. " -- PGV. "I liked this...especially "I am a child afraid of the dark, afraid of what is within.There is no love that can fill the fathomless heart belonging to no one but me." What meaning do those words hold for you? " -- mattie. "My, my, my. I haven't read a prose so constructive in a very long time. Am I correct in assuming that you are alone? I felt it was a choice, but a regretful one. I have read your other works, and this is as mysterious as HIS PAIN. Emotional, yet cautious. Good job. I would like to see more." -- Kathy B.. "Good woek, the part of "sitting on the edge wanting to stand for whatb I belive" is such a wonderful stance. What is holding you back? STAND UP" -- alexx. "Mattie, I felt fear over feelings that maybe developing, and knowing that there is no return. The darkness is the vunerable child coming out, the wall that must be put up. Thank You Kathy, there is no regret, just remorse. Thanks alexx, it just can't be done." -- Prudy. The Light Of Tomorrow by David Daniels (3) "Nice poem...your words offer us some hope yet" -- Samara. "Welcome back David...this was nice and uplifting!" -- mattie. "Their are a lot of people who suffer from depression, which comes in form from many bad expriences in life. You have wrote how to overcome this bad experience- l love the last line "Remember that happiness can be found in the light of tomorrow". That is exactly how you overcome depression- You forget about the bad past and think about the future - the tomorrow. Through your own bad experiences you can help other people. You poem is so meaningful how anger can build inside one self and how you can learn to release it. Just grab hold of that light of tomorrow and forever keep it - do not let go. Think positive and forget the negative. Think of the future and forget the bad past. Keep smiling and laughter is the best medicine" -- jacky, oxford, UK. The Cat In The Straw by Steven L Howard (1) "I really liked this...brought up old memories of the cat and the mice...made me smile...thanks for that :)" -- mattie. Tears And Beauty by Briony Carvalho (2) "I really liked the way it echoes the emptiness of pictures in magazines with the empty flat." -- Tamsin, Northampton, England. "Hey, found your work, I love this poem, I agree it is so sad that we all judge each other on something as superficial as looks." -- l Jay. Skin Deep by Lady Sashi (2) "very well done..." -- km. "What can be said...AMEN! Nice piece, flowed well." -- mattie. Rest On The Wind by Sasu (1) "I liked this alot...great imagery" -- mattie. Reflection (2) by Ashley Burdett (1) "fantastic,one of,if not the best ive read,theres more obvious truth in that piece of writing than ive seen in a long while.everyone sees things that they dont like,its only when they look more closely that they realise that they are indeed beuatiful,as everyone is,there's a grain of sand in every pearl" -- Stuart, England. Pearl Dreams by Stuart Mould (1) "An excellent piece, i really, thouroughly enjoyed it, please keep on writing such great peices. Peace." -- Hugh. My Eternal... by Brian C Lebron (4) "Beautiful :)" -- mattie. "Hey,thanx Mattie for the kind words." -- Brian L. "Thats my sweetheart!" -- Jessica. "Hey thanks babe I'm glad you liked it" -- Brian L. Meaningless by L Jay (2) "I really like the sentiment, I know what you mean I think... you love someone but can't have them so give up right?" -- Tamsin. "It was more about an obsession with a man that I liked that had a gf, so I had to give up for my own happiness." -- l Jay. In My Mind by David Daniels (4) "Andrea,this is a wonderful poem and a beautiful tribute to your grandfather.I think you should keep writing because you definately have a talent for expressing yourself.Great poem!All my love-" -- Uncle David. "That was a beauitful poem you wrote about your grandpa Al. I am so proud of you and I'm sure your grandpa was too. You had such a close relationship with him and I know you miss him alot, but all the memories you have will keep him alive in your heart. I love you" -- aunt ann, new york. "thanks for sharing this poem with us. I'm glad she keeps good memories and that her grandpa did influence her life. The beautiful memories mean the world and a loving family is something that not everyone is able to experience. I found it to be interesting how she refers to the Angel as a "she", when so many refer to Angels as a "he". Anyway, take care, Daniels and remember I'm still your pen friend from Brazil, even though I have been away for a while. Hugs, Dri" -- Dri. "Hello, I'm an old author of this site and you've reviewed some of my old stuff. I really enjoyed your feedback, and I'd like to get in contact with you. You can email me at [email protected]. Hope to hear from you soon." -- harry. I Read by OgorodovA (2) "I liked this...that's why I read...and why I write. :)" -- mattie. "Thank you very much. I am glad you liked it." -- Alexei Ogorodov. His Reason by Ken Harbec (3) "Your narative added is both awesome and loving. I remeber the day so clearly. Thank you for letting me see, physically and spiritually." -- PGV. "PGV - you lost the ability to spell? I hope you read between the lines. What was can never be again. Miles to go before I sleep, the indentation remains in my heart. " -- PEWD. "and also in mine." -- PGV. Here I Am. With No One by Byron Tuckett (1) "This poem is absolutley fabulous. I love it soooo much. I have stuck it up on my ceiling, and i read it every night before i go to sleep. " -- Beth. Glad by Tamsin Butler (4) "Reading this now, I don't really like it." -- Tamsin. "The poem is not fitting together . The meaning has slipped. Suggest a tight edit. Was: I wander through my mind sometimes Afraid of things that i might find Things I thought were long forgotten Perhaps: My mind is empty: my skull a hole A magazine empty: kind of droll. No thought to find; a deal unkind. Best forget; no hail or regret. If you want to, please use what I've written. It's a present. Cleveland W. Gibson Author of Moondust www.LauraHird.com showcase " -- Cleveland W. Gibson, Faringdon, Oxon, England. "Thanks for that, I think I may just scrap this one as it's not my favourite, thanks anyway." -- Tamsin Butler. "i hate to disagree with you but i think this is clever" -- curious. Four Little Words by Briony Carvalho (3) "Bravo! This is outstanding. And I dont give compliments out lightly." -- km. "I really liked the descriptive flow of the words in this, i felt for the character and thought the dramatic ending was fantastic!" -- T B, Reading, UK. "woah! it's so hard to pick a favourite...each shines with it's own personality and feelings, and each adds to a view of the whole....simply amazing" -- mk, Bristol, UK. David by Tamsin Butler (5) "Have you ever considered writing in prose? Your style suggests the fluent desciption prose contains, although it makes wonderful poems aswell. I enojoyed this one..." -- Samara. "Thank you for that, i hadn't considered prose before but I will now, i may try a short story next." -- Tamsin, UK. "Tamsin,to cut to the quick. Why have you left this poem as it is? It needs to be edited and re-arranged.Gather your thoughts and take up the ultimate challenge of making this poem better. Look at the first paragraph and re-think your ideas. Don't be afraid to dump words and replace them with others.Create a phoenix from the ashes. It's good for the soul.In David you've written prose: now you need to turn it into poetry. Best wishes. Cleveland W. Gibson author of Moondust,www.LauraHird.com see showcase " -- Cleveland W. Gibson, Faringdon, Oxon, England. "Thank you so much for the comment, I will work on it and try to make it more poetic :)" -- Tamsin. "That's good. Re-writing is essential though often hard.On reflection I think everything is said in the first paragraph. The rest of the poem is not really needed.Consider. Best wishes" -- Cleveland W. Gibson, Faringdon, Oxon, England. Changing by Briony Carvalho (3) "I'll admit I don't know much about poetry. I certainly don't know enough to "review" your work. But I know what I like and I like this." -- CW, Texas, USA. "Hi CW - thank you for your review! Really appreciate it! Bx" -- Briony. "Very good points brought up in that poem! Especially the last, and it was well written. Your review on intro to my novel came through, and thanks mucho! ttfn" -- Jenelle, Sacramento, CA, United States. Canada At A Glance by Ken Harbec (2) "Just a little piece of paper. You amaze me, which always was true. Can you let go of the promixe for one day?" -- PGV. "Phillip; (with flat affect) no. You gave this to me at a time that I was free. I am at that point again in my life. I found this while going through a box of memories. Baxter Park and a frisbee if I remember correctly. You ( and I ) can never go back. " -- PEWD. Can He See Me? by Tamsin Butler (7) "I like the ending, i think it works well, keep writing." -- Jo Pittaway, Slough, England. "Thank you for the comment, I was worried that it didn't sound right. :)" -- Tamsin. "I really liked this one, loved the ending." -- l Jay. "Does anyone else think this may be a bit morbid like the rest?" -- Tamsin. "i liked this one... the ending was good too" -- Carla Thomson. "I know exactly what you mean here and I think if people are honest, everyone feels this way. Do we see one thing and everyone else sees us in another way? You must have had a bad hair day, yet no-one else seems to notice? We see ourselves so much more often than anyone else, we immediately see the tiny imperfections as obvious. So similarly, does what we see as good and attractive in ourselves actually look hideous!? Once again Tamsin, top stuff! :)" -- Peter Halpin, London, UK. "Relating... Everyone looking over my shoulder... To see what I put on the page... Blinded by the words between the lines... They think they are looking at me... BrokenWordsPoet... I enjoy your work... " -- James, Ruffin, SC, USA. Armed And Dangerous by Corey J McCormick (1) "tHIS POEM IS BEAUTIFUL THE BEST POEM EVER!! YOU REALLY EXPRESS YOURSELF GREATLY!! WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?" -- Jade McCormick, Avilla, UNITED STATES, Indiana. 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