www.storymania.com |
Poetry - Reviews |
|||
|
Short Stories - Reviews |
What Else Can Sunrise Do by E Rocco Caldwell (12) "Hi Rocco, we have another Keats in the making, very beautiful Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "I didn't notice if my slip was showing? John Keats is poet that has a deep influence on me along with Emily Dickerson, Langston Hughes and Robert Frost. It's amazing how deep poets effect us. " -- e. rocco caldwell. "Long time no see, ERC. This piece is beautiful. I'm speechless...really." -- KM. "Hi Buddy! I was tickled to death to come to the site today and see your name at the top of the New Titles! Excellent descriptive piece that made me sleepy, comfy and warm... Thanks for submitting it! Deb" -- D. G. Williford. "It is wonderful to heard from you, DG. I missed reading your stuff too." -- e. rocco caldwell. "I want to thank you for your wonderful words about my work, Rocco. I really am speechless. Glad to see you again and hope to always have new stuff to share with all of you." -- Dri Cook. "I think it's already been said but I'll say it again, great piece. You have a wonderful way with words, looking forward to reading more." -- kavya. "A wonderful array of senses, sensitivity, circumstance and the pleasures of life. " -- Brion' O Neil. "WOW, that was great!!" -- Rebecca tantos. "SO many of the "great ones" seem to have disappeared...glad you have not! Oops...many great newbies too! :0)" -- mattie. "There are so many things that you have wrote but I have so little time to read them all. I really liked this piece and I know that I will be looking forward to reading more when I find the time. I hope you can possibly read a few examples of my work and help me with my writing. I have seen your reviews for others and your very good at critizing. I hope this request doesnt cut into time. Thank you. " -- Aryka, Ky. "I come back to read this poem often...and am always touched in a way words cannot express. You were such a valued writer and reviewer here, and just in case you ever check on "us" just wanted to say I miss you! " -- mattie. Place's End by E Rocco Caldwell (4) "you are skilled in what you do. Beautiful piece." -- Dri. "Beautiful imagery,nice one." -- kavya. "yes, must agree with Kavya! beautiful and refreshing imagery!" -- NPillay. "this is a good poem...i like it alot..thanks for the advice- you should go check out my new poem... and tell me if its any better! :)" -- megan. Zadkine's Diana by Jersey Mike (1) "Interesting,very interesting,The other Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Will He Won't He by Diana Venditti (4) "clever, i was guessing they were hanging a picture." -- echo. "so impressive (-;!" -- Npillay. "Hi NP, thank you could when you have time take a look at the more serious of my poems, thank you in antisipation, kind regards DV" -- Diana Vendittit , Italy. "Hello Diana. I lost track of your e-mail address and it is not posted here, so I figured this would be the best way to get ahold of you since you will instantly be notified of this message by e-mail. This message regards that I have put together a brief guide to the BBS for you as you requested. If you are still interested in receiving this guide, please feel free to contact me at [email protected] and I will promptly send it to you. If you are no longer interested in joining the BBS in order to improve your poetry then please disregard this message. Thank you." -- Jerry St. George. When I Think Of You by Megan Quesenberry (4) "Hi, work on meter, this piece ran away on its self.and became bitty, where it could have been a sweet poem.kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "nice but it had that force feel to it again. As Diana pointed out concerning meter (the beat of the poem iambic or whatever...you know eight beats in the first line eight in the second...it varies a lot). The content was wonderful!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Well, it started off good, but it went down hill from there, the structure seemed to leave, whether this was intentional or not, im unsure but, it was a sweet poem as D said" -- Josh / Axey. "Dear Meg,forget the technical stuff about writing poetry. Just go with your heart and what you feel. And most of all keep professing your love for David through your words." -- David D. What Is......It by G N (2) "It's alright, but not as good at the bathtime one you did. I'm not sure about the dotdotdot thing, but some lines are really nice. not bad" -- kavya. "I like it. It flowed smoothly and I like the different style. Dont like the ....though. But overall its a nice piece." -- km. Waterfall by Amber A Whitman (3) "This is a nice view of a waterfall. I can paint the picture in my mind. " -- Nancy Rider, New Smyrna Beach, FL, USA. "I like this one a lot...I could hear the water as I read...well done." -- km. "lovely,DV" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Watching Me Fade by Skyler Drevan (4) "I like the way it was constructed, the question-answer thing but again, a feeling of sadness, resignation and helplessness. Hope things work out for you soon, don't lose hope and keep writing." -- kavya. "yes, whatever is going on, keep your chin up, you'll be fine, my dear. Don't leave us:-(" -- Dri. "It was great, but what else is new. Your work has seemed a bit sad of late, hope everything is okay!!" -- Rebecca. "Thank you for your reviews, Dri, Kavya and Rebecca. I have really enjoyed the little interaction we have had with each other through this site. The general feel of the last seven pieces I posted here (Asleep, A Tearful Acceptance, Asphyxiation, Plunge, The Fire is Almost Out, If I Could do it Again and Watching me Fade), were a bit dark and sad because that is the way I have been feeling as of late due to personal and professional issues that have been surrounding me. However, I am fine. My writings have reflected the way I feel just as all writers writings portray their feelings. I have certainly felt the emotions pouring from the works of your three as well. I only hope to continue to have your support once I begin reposting to the site again next year. I wish you all the best and thank you for your reviews once again. Though I may not respond to them all, I do read them and they always make me smile. See ya soon!" -- Skyler. War Of The Clans by Diana Venditti (6) "Great poem, I really liked it~well done!" -- P J Francis, UK. "Hi PJ thank you, please would you take a look at the others, try the egyptian ones and let me know what you think.regards Diana" -- Diana Vendittit , ItalyH. "I thought this was really good, not that i know that much because i am not too expirienced, but i thought it was great" -- Rebecca TAntos. "got that Braveheart feel to it....nice!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "I loved this Diana!! Totally mesmerizing...the whole scene!Very patriotic I thot ((-;" -- NPillay. "Hi NP, I AM GRATEFULL FOR YOUR CRITIQUE. IF YOU HAVE TIME LOOK AT THE DUAT,HALLOWED GROUND, THE SPINNER, AND THE SISTRUM MANY THANKS DIANA" -- Diana Venditti, i. Walk On The Wild Side by Diana Venditti (6) "nice in your face piece. was that you?" -- echo. "Hi Echo,dont go having strange dreams, no just an idea.thanks DV" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "no strange dreams, not even an advance - just enjoying the variety of your work. going to wear out your fingers however." -- echo. "wild piece and good too." -- NPillay. "Hi NP thank you, read the others if you have a moment would like your opinion DV" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Its a nice piece to read. I think i shall read some more of your works. AB" -- Amy(AB), Hayes , Middlesex, England. Waiting For Sally by Joe Newton (1) "Hi Joe, same problem here, keep working at it.DV" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Until There Was You by Victoria Taginod Tangan (1) "could be better" -- Sreejita Ray, kolkata, india, west bengal. Transition In Relation by Inchara (2) "How true this is, we all take for granted our parents and our relationship changes drastically. Your poem expressed these changes well" -- riley. "Thanks riley. I guess at some point of time all of us go through this " -- Inchara. Traces Of Us by Dri Cook (1) "wow...I think this is one of your best pieces. Some very beautiful lines in there, there's sadness but no bitterness which I think adds to the beauty of the piece. Good work." -- kavya. Tiger by Diana Venditti (1) "it is sad and yet elegant....the picture is nice.....keep up, Diana. Thanks for your review on my Beauty without the Beast. Just replied." -- Dri. Thoughts Of You by G N (5) "Beautiful...." -- km. "love expressed wonderfully!" -- Nesam Pillay. "thank you guys for the reviews" -- G N. "Very nice, simple and touching" -- kavya. "Short------but really sweet !!!" -- John Roberts. The World Keeps Turning by David Con (3) "liked the central meaning of the poem but thought the last stanza was a bit confusing." -- e. rocco caldwell. "i liked it too, just a bit cliche" -- michelle. "Hi, the idea is good, the meter is out, try it on 8. 8 or 8 9 rhymn is not easy to do,but IP is easy going .Kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. The Witch by Diana Venditti (2) "A nice limerick you've done here...it actually could become a children's book...all you need is an illustrator. At least consider submitting this and like others to children magazines to derive some income from your craft; after all we ALL aspire." -- Brion' O Neil. "hI Brion, thank you, bit heavy for kids I think, mind you the kids of today go in for the strangest things." -- Diana Venditti, Italy. The Tender Loving Smile by Penkup Family (1) "I liked this...memories of my first daughter being born." -- e. rocco caldwell. The Spinner Of Time by Diana Venditti (1) "wow! another mystical pce! youre so creative. keep up with the excellent writing!!!" -- NPillay. The Rat by Diana Venditti (2) "Nice work, Diana. I certainly understand the fear in your words." -- Skyler. "Hi skyler ,thank you, please could you give my other poems a look, and tell me what you think, thank you DV." -- Diana Vendittit , Italy. The Mermaid by Diana Venditti (8) "such a lovely flow...I enjoyed this visual read. Good work" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hi, thanks, please, please, read Ihy, the Duat, and the spinner kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "I really enjoyed this one D. Very sweet." -- km. "HiKM thank you for your critique,i would like to do a childrens collection,not easy,kind regards DV" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "wow! i know you have enough now for a little kiddies book of poems!! all u need is a really good illustrator...(-; and a good editor for proofing! u should be on your way then!! cheers!" -- Npillay. "Dear NP, thank you for the kind words, I wish it was possible. kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "I had to read your lovely little poem on the mermaid - As i have written a short childrens story called the Mermaid child. It would help to know what u think of it if you have time to read it. " -- Amy, Hayes, Middlesex, England. "Hi Amy, where can I read your story,I looked under H for Hayes, but no Amy ,let me know and I will read it, thanks for your critique,D" -- Diana Venditti. The Last Star In The Last Galaxy by Diana Venditti (9) "I like this better than your other stuff. It seems more honest and hence makes more of an impact. I always think the most beautiful lines come when we write from something powerful inside us, I think that's why you've got some great lines here too. Nice work." -- kavya. "Hi Kavya, thanks for reading new poems,I assure you Ihave never been dishonest in what I write, what gave you that idea? I write what I feel, for fun try to write one in rhyme would love to see what you do with rhyme, as you notice I do both must admit I prefer rhyme,but I am from the classical school of literature ,have you ever read Betchman, or Chesterton give it a try you just might like it." -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "oh, those promises. nice job." -- echo. "Hi Echo. but we get over it like everything else, thanks" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Dear Diana, I happened to get on your poem by accident, and thought it was very sweet and melancholy and quite decent. Personally, I am on some kind of campaign against the wopocrasy and the gumba culrura, and so, any one who dares to return themselves to a previous Italic sensibility is fine with me. I liked the sombernmess of your poem, as it recalls a kind of old italian way of bringing the whole of the universe down to the most daily and regular of things, which is nice to see attempted again. I have always liked, myself, that sort of balance act, and have tried to gain that sort of equilibrium between the vast and the intimate , as great italian poets are good at, from the first to the great montale.Your work reminded me a little of that same great ptolemic system type of detached, hyper reality, super reality, of the cosmos intertwined with the bnanalities and the rather borinmg, and even inconsequencial, aspects of love and longing. Very sweetly done. Probobly even better in an original italian, no joke, as that language is predisposed to thinking that there is no real definition between the sun and the moon and the sky. Really, and I am no one to give advise, but, buy some montale , or calvino, and you can see what I mean. If I were you, I would try to write something longer , in which this magical attitude would be carried out. I like the medeaval declaration and the !, in the middle of the lines, as it is very , well, operatic. " -- Turnus D. Jones . "Dear Turus,thank you for your critique,I must point out I am English,I live and work here in Italy,Dont worry I have a very large collection of both Italian and English poets.kind regards DV" -- Diana Venditti, .Italy. "Please, Diana, if every italian influence and virgillian riff were taken out of english poetry, well, it would be american literature, and epics would be written about cows and fishing.I wasnt talking down to you about the titles, but just to show that there are things that are worth writing about other than suicide and the english mass. " -- Turnus . "Dear Turnus,I like the way your analysis,I would love your opinion on the other things I have written, what I call the more serious work, if you can find time please take a look ,and let me know your thoughts Kindest regards Diana" -- Diana Vendittit , Italy. "Dear Turnus ,sorry the above was written early morning in a rush ,my day starts at 5 what with the dogs then work.should have read Ilike the way you do your analysis. regards Diana" -- diana venditti, Italy. The Kiss by Diana Venditti (2) "this one made me smile - nice and light but said a lot. cool." -- echo. "Real emotion here. Not love but the steps leading to it. Very cool...............................peace!" -- Richard Evans. The Key To My Heart. by David Baker (6) "Hi David, very sweet poem, hope you gave it to the lady in question?Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "yes, sweet indeed. Keep up!" -- Dri. "you certainly know how to charm the ladies david! it has a nice rhythm to it but i won't comment on the sentimentality - too mushy for such an angry guy like me! keep knocking them over!" -- jersey mike, belgium. "Loved it Baker, your so sweet :) everything better work out for you (you know what i am talking bout)great poem" -- Rebecca. "very sweet and romantic there. :) i'm sure whoever you give it to will really, really like it. " -- ashley burdett. "If that isnt honey to a bee than, bugger, well done thats a very sweet poem, great work." -- Josh / Axey. The Indian by Diana Venditti (1) "Good imagination, a good nice story." -- Amarjit , H;ayes, Middlesex, England . The Hand by Diana Venditti (5) "I thought this was really nice! I'm not quite sure what you're trying to say, I should probably read it again but it just read very well and has a nice lucidity to it. As you said, nice one squirrel!" -- kavya. "Hiya Kavya, thank you, when a spirit takes over to write from inside some one, hey I am waiting for a new one from you. get writing friend" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "is this the one you asked me to review? You said about egypcian or did I read it wrong? Tell me please. Thanks, Dri" -- Dri. "Hi, the ones I wanted you to look at are Ihy, demons gods and heros, The Duat and The spinner,thank you Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "It's a nice idea to think that our imaginations run away with us when writing - but an even better one that it's an unseen spirit guiding us. Like this one." -- Kevin Hadley. The Frog by Diana Venditti (2) "ribbit" -- Brion' O Neil. "ribbit ribbit.......ribbit, croak ribbit.D" -- Diana Venditti. The Final Solution by Diana Venditti (2) "I have no idea what this is, but I loved it! It had a feeling of a medieval time and also someone knowing they were going to an asylum... Excellent descriptions... Deb" -- D. G. Williford. "Hi Deb, thank you ,this was the jews going to the extermination camps,DV" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. The Elevator by Dri Cook (9) "JUST ANOTHER DAY to and from THE OFFICE. A very good and creative way to show real hidden emotions inside and talking to an inanimate, but very recognizable object, inside an elevator where everyone can relate. This is the kind of writing that I like from you, BRAVO, again." -- Brion' O Neil. "Hello Dry, another nice one. Look at Ihy, The Duat, and the Spinner please, kind regards Diana V" -- Diana Venditti, ItalyHello . "thank you both, Diana and Brian. Yes, Brian, this is also the kind of piece I enjoy writing very much. I love to give life to inanimate like I did to so many others. Just need to wait for the inspiration and "voil�".....glad you like it." -- Dri. "The hardest working woman in the poetry world....you have produced another emotional work of art. They say some people wear their emotions on their sleeves...you wear it in your works." -- e. rocco caldwell. "well, Rocco, again I'm flattered. What can I say but thank you so much for enjoying my work and for your kind words. " -- Dri. "I enjoyed the elevator taking on the role of confidante and friend. Bravo Dri! Deb" -- D. G. Williford. "hi dri! you have soooo many poems and although i haven't read all of them (just some!), this is my favorite of yours. as others have alluded to in their comments, you handle the reflecting of self not only from the mirror in the elevator but the elevator itself. two lines you wrote were, "you seem to smile at me". why seem? let it smile at you! a fine piece of poetry!" -- jersey mike, belgium. "thank you both, Mike and Deb. I took your advice Mike, and made a little change. Thank you so much for enjoying this piece. " -- Dri. "Good stuff! And it's about an elevator, of all things! You make it sound like an old friend, simple and very touching. Good work dri." -- kavya. The Countess Of Storymania by D G Williford (7) "Did I miss something?" -- km. "I believe this might have something to do with Doc's resurrection....or perhaps not!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "But Doc isnt a woman....or is he? HAHA Kidding Doc" -- km. ""But Doc isnt a woman....or is he? HAHA Kidding Doc" -- km. How do you think he avoided our detection all those months while he was away? ha ha ha. I wonder what he'll do now with the dress, wig and fake boobs now that he no longer needs them." -- M. Cat. "Deb???? Care to enlighten us? " -- km. "Well, it is a bit confusing isn't it? It's my Halloween haiku to the "resurrection" and my feelings about it...km... you the funny one! Deb" -- author. "Hmmm...not sure about the Doc bit...anyway from the title I thought this might be about Judith..." -- mattie. The Cascade Hills by E Rocco Caldwell (6) "I found myself wandering midst an early morning fog in Ireland. Nice descriptive piece Rocco, filled with epic nostalgia. " -- Brion' O Neil. "Hi Rocco, you just took me on a trip, nice one Diana " -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "I don't know, I liked the very first a lot but this one seemed a bit sloppy in comparison, I don't know why it's just my opinion, no offence meant." -- kavya. "Sorry you feel that way...I happen to like this one because it is fresh and direct...it reveals the place I live. Sloppy suggest a poor effort..I never no sloppy work...I always gives all to my writing!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "I guess this is the ongoing struggle between leaving a poem as it is to retain it's honesty or polishing it up later.I certainly didn't mean your work is sloppy-I enjoy your poems, this one just didn't click with me is all. " -- kavya. "Rocco, nice. Especially the third and fourth stanzas what imagery. I had to read it three times to get it. Poetry's not my thing but I saw your name on it and you've taken time to review some of my work so I thought I'd give yours a looksee. I like landscapes and morning descriptions; perhaps innocent morning lines up with my noble ideals. Fourth stanza perhaps daybreak offers redemption? Nice. " -- Shelley, Fullerton, ca, USA. The Bill by Dri Cook (1) "I was just browsing around and came across this little gem ! I really like this Dri !" -- John Roberts. The Arm-Chair by Dri Cook (6) "Sad and sweet, another good one Dri! " -- kavya. " This piece "rocks"." -- Brian (Brion') O Neil. "very well written...one of your best." -- km. "I liked the beat to this piece. " -- e. rocco caldwell. "What else is there to say but FAB!" -- Skyler. "again, thank you so much to all of you for leaving feedback and for enjoying my work." -- Dri. The Angel by Diana Venditti (12) "Very sweet Diana. Nice rhyme and meter...not forced at all. " -- km. "Now you're just looking for criticism with those two first lines.You need to chill out and get serious with your writing and stop creating conflict, that is self destructing." -- Brion' O Neil. "Brian what the devil are you talking about, this is a story about a baby not anything else, so stop attacking. I said I was sorry what do you want blood.what is it in the first 2 lines that caused you to give such a violent reaction.I am serious with my writing I have only just starte3d poetry so for petes sake give me a chance" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "I still havent gotten and apology or an acknowledgment of my review. Hmmmmph!" -- km. "Kidding..." -- km. "It is true that italians are a people of passion...this is a wonderful special piece. As a father it told me back to when my two daughters were babes...an angel has passed away! Again, fine flow and construct...." -- e. rocco caldwell. "is was, had had, WHAT'S THAT...NO EDITING." -- Brion' O Neil. "oh, btw, do you know how to delete these feedbacks that you don't want contaminating your sites.Go into the edit selection and select the piece you want to delete any review (like you are going to edit your written work) and select from the dropdown menu....manage your reviews, place that in the menu box, click and select the review(s) you want to delete. It's a good feeling to "rub out' an undesireable review." -- Brion' O Neil. "Dear Brian, I dont hold grudges, life is too short, first time in my life this has happened, I get on with everyone normally, peace I realy do like all of you DV" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Dear KM. sorry took time to get back to you, had to work,conference tomorrow and am behind with the papers,been a bad girl talking too much with you lot, thanks very much for your critique,will catch up sunday with you.kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Hi Rocco, thank you very much for the critique, you are ever faithfull, gives me courage.Big hug Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "You say you do not hold grudges? Hmm, how rich, coming from a woman who has "literally" (pardon the pun) abandoned all of her children. Left them emotionally handicapped, to be beaten by a lunatic, never to recover from the traumas of their childhood. Yet even up till now, you refuse to ease their pain. You are a fake, you are a narcissist. Make it right, ease their pain, tell them the truth, they were robbed of things most take for granted, thrown away and told they were garbage. Never ever knowing why. Say the truth, or I will." -- Justice, US, NJ. Sunday by Diana Venditti (2) "I like this one very much especially because I can relate so well....." -- Dri. "God Bless the WEEKEND! Is what I always say! Nicely put!" -- Crissie. Sunday Snow by Diana Venditti (4) "Nice imagery, I especially like your description of the cat walking on the snow, nice one squirrel." -- kavya. "There's no snow in Malaysia but I've managed to get a taste of it while in Europe!! I appreciate and love the snow as opposed to the hot weather in South East Asia. Your poem brings back memories!! Thanks. Ps:The first 4 lines had me!! (-;" -- NPillay. "Hi Kavya, thank you for the critique, yes it was very funny, last year we had snow twice, the second times he decieded(the cat)thanks but no thanks. kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Dear NP, Thank you for your critique,I love to see the snow its so rare here where I live as well,but it does get cold,8 below last winter Kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Street Music by Diana Venditti (2) "Okay... I loved the beginning, when I could hear the notes and feel the cool air and almost become the woman - then it becomes a story. I thought it would have been excellent if you had stayed with the words that flowed from your fingertips like molten honey, than gone on to an explanation and close. Just my opinion, but the beginning was to be applauded. " -- D. G. Williford. "ditto. the poem goes prose and then to a story that i had trouble following. diana, so many pronouns. so many "she"s. you know me though, the enemy of the rampaging pronouns. we should ban them from our language! try it without "she", or at least get rid of some. give "she" a name. don't say "she sat down", show HOW she sat down. put some movement into it. she's too passive. i feel i'm getting to know you through your poetry, so feel sure that you are taking all this in a positive way. i'm sure my critic (somebody who criticizes me for criticizing others) will comment. there's a lot there though, so work on it. if you want, i can offer you some suggestions, help you edit, etc. my email is: [email protected] Keep writing!!! " -- Jersey Mike, Belgium. Still Image by Nesam Pillay (2) "Hi, I like this, he made a very big impact on you? seems to have come from a personal experience. a young woman in love with a star?kindest regards Diana,ps write one on your country I would love to read this,,its so beautifull there," -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Yes, he made a big impact!! Until he changed (-; but dont we all Diana! Tq...I will attempt to write a poem about Malaysia just for you!" -- NPillay. Spiderman by Jersey Mike (4) "seems to me you have your priorities a bit mixed up - what possibly could be better than spending time with an injured daugher? my, my - i think you're getting paid back for the tough review of km, think so maybe?" -- echo. "hey echo, thanks for having a look at this. i think perhaps you have mis-read or mis-understood it because you commented on just the opposite of what it says. its not abstract, just straight-forward. i don't mind you commenting but please don't try to turn it into a vendetta because you think i'm being hard on another poet. there is never anything malicious nor mean in my comments to other poets. so, as to your comments about getting "paid back", i don't believe that. you didn't take the time to read the poem without having your mind made up beforehand. i thought this site was to help each other. " -- jersey mike, belgium. "Hi there, your poems grow on me ,the more I read the more I like.keep writing.Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "I didnt think Jersey Mike was hard on me at all. The poem needed help. I accept that. I also appreciated it. I thought this poem was sweet. I liked the story and I have two littel girls so I totally understand what you're saying." -- km. Soft Touch by Nesam Pillay (4) "Hi, short simple, and so full of feeling,beautiful,keep writing,Kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Vendittit , Italy. "Thank you Diana, for your encouraging comment!" -- NPillay. "you've returned! nice poem nesamalar. wait til hes 7 YEARS old though! (o;" -- jersey mike, belgium. "this is so sweet, reminds me of the first moments spent with mine. Thanks for bringing back that memory for me." -- km. Small World by Skyler Drevan (2) "Haha nice... it thought it was going to be his mom, so i was close. Nice work." -- ryan severud. "Mom would be really cliche now wouldn't it Ryan. LOL Thanks for the review." -- Skyler . She Lays Dreaming by Joe Newton (1) "Hi Joe, welcome to the group, its sweet but a bit trite ,does not have good flow, keep trying Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Seven Months by Nesam Pillay (1) "Ahhhh-sweet love. nice piece on the ones we love - poetry comes from the heart. Read some of mine if you have time with Jonathan - Amarjit Bhambra" -- Amy, Hayes, Middlesex, England. Sentinels Of Time by Diana Venditti (2) "very nice...gods (angels perhaps?) I love Africa!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hi Rocco, my ever faithfull, like your poems too. kind regards DV" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Sent To Heaven by Victoria Taginod Tangan (1) "strong religious content that shows your love for Jesus. I like that..." -- e. rocco caldwell. Seduced by Amber A Whitman (3) "Paint a picture Amber, as I'm sure many who visit this site are tired of me saying. Have her stand in front of the mirror without telling us that she is standing there and in front of a mirror. Create images. I like the candles line! Use more description. This is the making of one hot piece of literary erotica!" -- Jersey Mike, Belgium. "Very nice...I agree with Mike, I would keep going and take it as far as you can without making us all blush...ok a little blush never hurt anyone ;) Good work." -- km. "I like how it stopped, let all those hot blooded males use their imaginatioooooooooooooooon nice work.Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Scorching Sun by Victoria Paul (2) "nice, descriptive piece letting reader add what they want. good job." -- echo. "I'm simply experimenting writing erotic poetry so your comment is an encouragement! Thanks so much!" -- Vicky Paul. Satisfaction Guaranteed: Refundexchange by Skyler Drevan (3) "HAHAHAHA... wow what a wonderful surprise this was. Very well done... it was nice coming back to the mania with this one. Always pushing the envelope skyler." -- ryan severud. "Thanks so much Ryan! It is nice to see your back to the site. It's been a while." -- Skyler. "My man, you're good! You're really good! I loved this!" -- e. rocco caldwell. Reminisce by Amber A Whitman (2) "Yeah, those are things we all think about. Nice one, simple but gets the point across" -- kavya. "Hi, its lovely, so true,regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Red Rose by Diana Venditti (2) "sad.......no need of explanation" -- Dri. "Beautiful sentiment :)" -- mattie. Red Lights by Jersey Mike (3) "Again, another amazing piece. I was hoping to pick you apart as that is just in my nature. But I can not except to say that it would be nice to know how you feel in this piece not just what you DO. Know what I mean?" -- km. "Great imagery, I like the way it was constructed too, good work. I don't know if you were actually feeling anything at this moment, it looks like you were just being, were you?" -- kavya. "Thanks for your comments both of you. I don't mind being picked apart, really km. I like constructive criticism. Kavya, you're spot on, I was just "being". Just staring out the window breathing in the life all around me. I'm not too good with emotional poetry, I don't think, so shy away from that. I feel but until I can share those feelings in a way that I find acceptable to me, I'll continue to just "be" in my poems. Thanks again!" -- Jersey Mike. Pain Is My Friend by David Con (5) "Hi, nice piece,like to see you work a little on meter with such a tiny change it could become a masterpiece, keep writing,kind regards Diana Venditti, ps please if you can find time take a look at mine your comments will be welcome" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Nice piece Doc but I'd rather see some stories...Welcome Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-- Michelle" -- km. "To be honest, I just thought I'd look at your work because of the little drama you caused on the message board but I was not disappointed! Don't like rhyme personally but this was pretty good, except I felt the last stanza was cliched. " -- kavya. "The Doc I knew wouldn't have written this... where are all the bones and eyeballs and rotting flesh? Come on... show yourself! Deb" -- D. G. Williford. "well done...great mter and wonderful flow...every once and a while the old Doc would knock your socks off with a nice little poem just like this one." -- e. rocco caldwell. Out Of Nowhere by Diana Venditti (8) "hey, thats a pretty negative poem - except for the ending of course! its very much full of life. lots happening. i think this one being read by the poet out-loud would make it more powerful too. written words sometimes lack the emotion although not in this case. just curious how you'd read it - slowly, upbeat tempo, both? write on!" -- jersey mike, belgium. "Hi Mike, wrote it in a coffee break, I passed a storm like this a couple of weeks ago,freaky. Think I would read it sort of Oh my god is this happening to me sort of tone.thank you" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "so far, this is your best. Thanks for your reviws, Diana. Why don't you write some pieces in Italian? That would be nice too. do you have any? I can understand it a little bit since I have Italian background and been to Italy several times. Dri (Dree, ok?)" -- dri. "Hello Dry thank you for your critique, As to writing in Italian I have thought about it but need to learn more about writing poetry first in English.Waiting for another one from you Kavya, Mike ,Brion, Echo,and all those I have reviewed I think you all have a lot of talent, the beauty is we are all different styles, makes life interesting." -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "A well deserved BRAVO D.V....still think you should embrace a lyric style...diversity is more marketable." -- Brion' O Neil. "Hi Brian, thank you, It might sound funny but I write songs, but I like having the music first and writing around it,it works better for me, Have had a few B sides ,since I came to Italy am out of touch with the music world,pity it used to be fun with the crowd I wrote with at home.still nothing is eternal no??Kind regards DV" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Nicely done, I like a poem that tells a story. " -- km. "Hi KM, just got in from work,got a busy morning tomorrow, its all go,played hooky, now I have to pull my socks up or my students will think I left the country,Thank you for your critique, catch up with you sunday. Kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Noble Loss by Kellie Barqs (6) "I'll be damned, poetry I don't actually need a translator for." -- M. Cat. "Uh, good work by the by." -- M. Cat . "This was ok, I guess you must have written it when the feeling was still raw (if there was no feeling, then you can skip this) and hence it seems a bit awkward in places, the timing is off and the rhymes are a bit (dare I say it) cliched. Also, why the slashes at the end of each line? But I liked the last line and the piece is honest, that makes it powerful. Just my opinion, hope you don't take it the wrong way : )." -- kavya. "great work...poetry is difficult to master because it is the use of every word. You can't afford to waste words...this poem doesn't waste words...it may seen awkward in places but sometime that is the intention...the world of poetry is vast and any style is acceptable...if you are trying to write a traditional poem read traditional poems but if you are just trying to express yourself...do it anyway you feel fit! I liked this very much!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Thank you all for reading it, to be honest I wasn't expecting any response, I just needed to put my actual thoughts and feelings into words in some way. The slashes I place for both poetry and song to indicate the appropriate break just incase I can't fit every part on one line or whether some gets formatted incorrectly and people can't figure out how my poems/songs are supposed to read. Whether people liked it or hated it I'm sure that the International Library of Poetry would buy it, but then again they'll accept damn near anything, ha ha ha. :-) Thanks everyone." -- kellie. "I love it...." -- Dri. My Poems by Jersey Mike (4) "I liked this, it reminded me of Ted Hughes' poem "the thoughfox" not sure why (isn't similar at all), maybe because it is a poem about writting a poem, oh well. Good work" -- Rebecca Tantos. "thank you rebecca for having a look at my poem. i haven't read the Hughes' poem but will now look it up. i try to avoid him after what he did to Sylvia Plath! " -- jersey mike, belgium. "Hi there,deep little rascal arnt you, wanted to use another word but as its public thought better of it, great like it. Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Great Piece, Jersey Mike! I loved it a lot. It's good work like this that I'll miss the most while I am away. " -- Skyler. My Cat by E Rocco Caldwell (4) "wow, the last stanza was so good. You keep doin what you are doin, its great." -- ryan severud. "thank you, Ryan. Addiction is a nasty thing...." -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hi Rocco, nearly died laughing, great, Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Outstanding...perfect ending, nice metaphors" -- km. Missing Him by Nesam Pillay (5) "Hi NP, ahh! just become a proud dad, congratulations, very sweet poem,made me remember my first baby Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "yes, cute and sweet......." -- Dri(Dree). "This IS sweet. One small thing. In line one you use "sat" as past tense. I know that in some countries that is a normal way of speaking. But technically it should say "sitting". Lovely poem." -- km. "this is a man talking...but I thought this was about her man not her baby! I know this has something to do with the male ego...I just don't know what!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hello, everyone. Thank you all for your lovely encouraging comments! I'm a lady and my baby is 7 months old. I ought to post a pikkie of him here somewhere (-;, soon I hope. Caught u there e.rocco! I guess one may use my poem to suit their needs! (-; " -- Nesam Pillay. Miss Winterbottom by Diana Venditti (3) "It would be suggested to lengthen your sentences in your stanzas, so the rhyme pattern is longer, shorter stanzas make the rhyming seem forced. " -- Brion' O Neil. "the man has a point there diana and he's a guy with an ear for music. i enjoyed it though but you have a long way to go if you want to be as depressing as me! (-;" -- jersey mike, belgium. "Well you guys, it was recorded by EMI so it cant be that bad, we used a classical piece out of copyright, na na na na na na!!!!!!!!!!!!! With love and HISSES" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Melody Of Praise by Victoria Taginod Tangan (2) "A wonderful poem about our Lord and Savior. I loved the use of words...the style and construct of this piece. I wonder why others aren't reading you...you're good!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "thanks for the compliment...you boosted my self confidence...i read your writings too and you're great!!!! don't worry others may read me soon!!!! " -- victoria taginod tangan. Man And A Tree by D G Williford (5) "it brought tears into my eyes.....the tree, however, could have stayed with the Man if she knew how to grow by herself, never under his shadow. To relate, my dear, is always an art. Beautiful, indeed...the type poem that catches my attention. Excellent work!" -- Dri, Dri, [email protected]. "Deb, this is beautiful!!! One of your best I think. " -- km. "Thanks Dri and KM. I found this today when I was looking through some of my old stuff. I wrote this to a guy I was dating that was a nice guy but smothering me and I just wasn't happy. Thanks for the comments! Deb" -- Author. "Hi DG, I like it very much, makes me think nothing should be forced to leave its natural habitat, including us.Kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "on the other hand, men are like that sometimes, wanting to covet what they can't have, destroying beauty along the way! simply brilliant D.G. i think! " -- NPillay. Luvin You by Megan Quesenberry (6) "This is sweet but I would watch for the forced rhyme. That's a poets worst nightmare. Also the line "I really wanna..." would be much more effective if re-worked. Keep writing!!" -- km. "the first two lines can be better if they have the same beat ( loving you is such a rush...seven beats in this line) the second line: sometimes I ask myself is this just a crush...11 beats) this gives the reader a feel that the poem is out of rythmn ..I ask is this just a crush..now has seven beats) it would read: loving you is such a rush/ I ask is this just a crush...hear the difference? Keep up the good work!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Meg...sorry it's taken me so long to check your poems. The rhymes do seem a little forced in this one...one way to get the "beat" I think Rocco is talking about is to put it to music in your head...if that makes sense? BTW have you read Nicoles poems? She posted a few a while back...under Nikky Epperly...love to you :)" -- mattie. "mattie- yeah i know that this one is a little forceful...im working on some poems..but i dont think im really all that great so i dont know if i will post anymore...but it all depends on how i feel about the poem!" -- megan. "I don't think the poem sounds forced and I think it's a nice tribute.A lot of poets on this website are not a fan of the rhyming poem but I like my poems to rhyme just like this one. I think you should keep writing your poems and expressing yourself.Don't worry about what others think of your work as long as you're happy with it.Nice job." -- David Daniels. "good work... I know how you feel when you dont know if you really love someone or not, but you find out how much you really love someone when their gone, so dont be shy about asking questions even if you think there dumb, because if it comes to the end you will wish you did... keep up the good work" -- L A Walters. Love On A Rainy Afternoon by Diana Venditti (6) "Okay...I need to take a cold shower...this is wonderful writing...very strong in the usage of words and very visual! Well done." -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hi again Rocco, and again thank you, when you have a moment go through my offerings I would love your opinion,Kindest regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "I try to not look at the author's name before I do a review, so that I will not be swayed. I couldn't believe that it was you! The adjectives have all been "done" before and there was nothing original in this piece, other than a sentimental remembrance for you... I will continue reading your work, because I can see the promise at your core." -- D. G. Williford. "Dear DG thank you for reading my poem, probably your right it was just an experiment, I would be a happy lady if you can take time to read my other works and would be happy to have your comments, thats how we grow. regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Lovely piece...keep writing in this style." -- Brion' O Neil. "Hi Brion, thank you, as you see some love some hate, thats the name of the game, this weekend will go through all yours, but I know already I like what you write different to me but thats what makes the world go round.kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Love Ended A Long Time Past by E Rocco Caldwell (10) "Beautifully worded, Rocco. Love the detail and I can sense all of the images that you've cast. Two small details...the second stanza last word should read "worse" instead of worst, I believe. And in the last stanza first line should read "this is the life WE"VE chosen" or "we CHOSE". I so enjoy your work. Thanks for sharing." -- km. "thanks for the correction...I wrote this in one of my madman stages and didn't throughly check the wording" -- e. rocco caldwell. "I always feel silly reviewing others work, especially because i am young and not as good, but i really thought it was great. Very peaceful. Great work :) " -- Rebecca. "this is the type poem I enjoy reading. Very beautiful and reminded me of the times I was in the US...it did bring me tears into my eyes...such wonderful memories...oh, by the way, the first line did water my mouth...(I could almost feel the scent of the bread). I want to take the opportunity to thank you again for leaving feedback on my work, Rocco. " -- Dri. "Nice, though sunlight doesn't seem to play a very big role here. Few typos, I think those have been pointed out." -- kavya. "Kavya, thanks for the review...the word breathe and breath completely different. I will say this poem has a lot to do with the use of sunlight...but not in the traditional sense of rays of sun but in the use of light and shadow...it is light that takes the ordered steps across the oak and brass but afraid to take a deep breathe to break the glass or window it is spilling into...the love ended in the shadows or where light is shielded...so yes, this is a poem about sun light!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "I'm really enjoying these pieces Rocco! Excellent imagery and metaphors. I was looking for butter for the bread, it was so vivid. Great job! Deb" -- D. G. Williford. "Sorry to use your space but I just wanted to thank you for the idea about the title for HE. I'm very grateful because, as you well know, I'm not a native English speaker and even though I work very hard on it, it's been a challenge to me. It's the most beautiful language and I do want to learn it well. Thank you so much for your help. I really appreciate it." -- Dri. "Hi, another winner in 7, 7 difficult meter to work with congratulations.Diana V" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "it is a tough meter...thanks for noticing it, Diana!" -- e. rocco caldwell. Lost In Me by Adam Wieland (2) "Love this line "like so many songs im played out and worn"...excellent work Adam. More????????????" -- km. "Very good, Adam! While there are some grammatical errors, I think your feeling comes through strong and clear. You are dealing with quite a paradox and I can't wait to talk to you about it! " -- Brianna. Looks Like Rain by Diana Venditti (4) "well shut my mouth... At a moment I thought this wasn't that sweet English Lass but Peggyu Sue Olsen neat the junction...This is well nicely done." -- e. rocco caldwell. "hi Rocco. well hush my mouth,thanks Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Yeehaw! After a long time, a fun, enjoyable poem on this site. It would be great if you could make it into a ballad, it seems like you just got the first stanza here. Great stuff, one of your best i think." -- kavya. "Hi Kavya, will have to write a follow up,thanks Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Looks Like Rain Part 2 by Diana Venditti (1) "Another good one but for some reason, I liked the first one better, I can't quite put my finger on why" -- kavya. Let Me Be A Woman by Dri Cook (4) "Nice poem/song Dri. Another gem from that wonderful mind of yours." -- Skyler. "thanks, my dear. Funny...I too had the same idea: wanted it to be a song........who knows, right?" -- Dri. "OK, I'll work on it!" -- Brian (Brion') O Neil. "Yeah, that would make a nice song. Let us know what you come up with Brion!" -- kavya. Ladies And Gentlemen Your Comments Please by Diana Venditti (5) "Here, here! Is it too much to ask to leave a review after you read a piece? Maybe you should post this on our wierdly wonderful message board." -- kavya. "Hi Kavya,I have NASTY FEELING WE ARE WASTING OUR BREATH, I WILL STICK WITH IT FOR A LITTLE WHILE ,THEN, i SHALL WITHDRAW. i AM NOT A MASOCHIST,THANKS FOR LOOKING REGARDS DIANA" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "yes Diana, that is why you haven't seen anything posted by me recently. no one seems to have anything to say nor probably the time/desire to read. we should make a "splinter group" with some of the other, more active poets, and set up a site! " -- jersey mike, belgium. "Hi Mike ,I seemed to have stired up a hornets nest, maybe I should keep my mouth shut. yes a splinter group could be good, but here, lets stick with it, there are a few who are of the same feeling so,lets start,did you get my e,mails?kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "reality poetry n so true too (-; but people are like that. they comment when they like. if you tell them to do something the more they would resist. let them be and continue what you started out to achieve! cheers. npillay" -- npillay. Kissed By An Angel. by David Baker (7) "hey david, that's some powerful stuff! was this a real incident? i think many of us have been there so can relate to what its like" -- jersey mike, belgium. "Nice work Baker!! Loved this one, the rhyme worked well in it. Had a nice flow. Great!" -- Rebecca. "yeh it was a real incident, hepened bout 2 weeks ago coming home. it was soo scary, bro just had a blackout only for prob a second n he didn't see the red light, lucky i was awake lol luckily we stopped though, another fraction of a second longer n u may not have read that poem lol... thanx for the feedback..... :-) " -- baker . "Hi David, well done , great poem,Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Nice one, powerful and good sense of rhythm, It's like 'Last Kiss' with a happy ending, good stuff." -- kavya. "u mean last kiss the song by pearl jam, i love that song lol :-) thanx for the feedback glad u enjoy'd it :-)....." -- baker. "*sob* wow thats extremely powerful stuff there, extremely well written, in my opinion you best work ive read." -- Josh / Axey. Just Sunday by Jersey Mike (2) "works as a rebillion piece against traditional religion...Strong and defined use of word in this piece." -- e. rocco caldwell. "I like the style, Jersey. Thank you for your review on mine Falling Again. You know, Jersey, I was not raised speaking English so I do appreciate reviews when they are given with honesty and always trying to help the other to grow. I made a few changes as for the "undressed" part of the poem. Thank you, my dear. Adriana" -- Dri. Just A Feeling by Jannah Akira (5) "Hi Jannah,nice little poem, keep writing Kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Wonderful! I'm not simple! I'm complicated! I'm always changing! Wonderful! I don't know if you realize how well those lines word...their poetic prose and style. I think they capture the entire piece. Life is the opposite of ends...in order lies the seeds of disorder...Taoism at it's best and this poem covers it well. Fantastic!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Thanks Rocco. I'm writing this with emotion i guess" -- Akira NJ. "This poem is a lot better but still your english is a little jumbled.'With nonsense dream and stupid mission' should be 'With dreams of nonsense and a stupid mission' or something to that affect.If you're looking for english lessons that I would like to give them to you-in private!" -- someone who desires you. "Well, some people got their own way of writing and this way of writing is needed to fit the best structure of sentence for one's poem" -- Akira NJ. Isn't It Strange? by Skyler Drevan (1) "this works on two levels...how it's present...the stanza give it a flowing feel and the context which gives the same feel. Well Done" -- e. rocco caldwell. Ihy by Diana Venditti (2) "I liked this one better for some reason, probably because it is shorter and it paints a more vivid picture. Nice work. " -- kavya. "I must admit it is a little bit for me to say something about it, Diana, since I am not a native English speaker, I am not able to understand all the words.........." -- Dri. If I Could Do It Again by Skyler Drevan (2) "boy, I love it.......I can relate so well......how did you figure out my feelings?? :-) It flows nicely too....." -- Dri. "I think we can all relate to that one, thinking that if we got the chance how differently we would do things, but I guess if we could change them life wouldn�t be nearly as interesting. I thought it was great, like all you work :):)" -- Rebecca. I Should Have Known by Dri Cook (5) "Welcome back! This one was interesting, I guess you have tried to write from the perspective of the other side, of the other person. I feel the style is a bit too feminine to be from a male perspective but that may be because I know the writer is a woman. Nice work otherwise." -- kavya. "a refecting thought always comes too late and you can't put the perfume back in the bottle. " -- Brian (Brion') O Neil. "Welcome back, Dri! Back with a vengance I see. Great piece of work. I love it." -- Skyler. "thank you kavya, brian and skyler. I missed you all and I missed being here. " -- Dri. "I Should Have Known" -- valian, Sta. Barbara, Pangasinan, Philippines. I Fall by David Baker (4) "Good work :) simple but sweet. The repetitive lines worked well in this one. Wonder who it bout Baker ;) " -- Rebecca. "I liked the beat to thing...I thought you can describe the falling with words like floating, spill, tumble...but this was nice." -- e. rocco caldwell. "I thought it was sweet and painful and it gave a fleeting glimpse of what you guys think of when you 'fall'. Hope you told whoever inspired this one ; )" -- kavya. "Im with kavya on this one, and i also like the way that this poem used less rhyme as it conveys the feeling better for this theme, keep it up" -- Josh / Axey. I Cry by David Baker (9) "I like your work but I have one small critism. Dont take it the wrong way but you seem to have a lot of forced rhyming. It just seems predictable. Try writing your same feelings but dont rhyme. you'll be surprised at the difference. Thanks for listening and I hope you dont take that wrong. " -- km. "I agree with KM, your work is ok, but you seem to be forcing yourself to write poetry rather than letting it come naturally" -- riley. "thanx for the feedback, i didn't take it the wrong way, i'll try rite one without rhyme lol... keep reding em and i love the feedback so keep tellin me wat ya think it means alot thanx..... :-)" -- dave. "Thanks for your feedback on my poems, Dave. Glad you enjoy them. Yours is also interesting and don't be afraid to write free verses as km and riley suggested above. It might flow even nicer and natural...keep up!" -- Dri. "and yes, there are times when it's hard to explain the reason we cry...and yet, we cry!!!! " -- Dri. "Well, I don't like rhyme but I thought for your first poem, it was pretty good. I agree with the others, don't let the rhymes restrict you, there's a good theme here, don't let it get restricted with why and cry. " -- kavya. "Well i like rhyme, but for this piece it did seem a little bit forced, but i did like the content, and i know what its like, you'll find an explination in time :), keep it up" -- Josh / Axey. "I came back to read this poem of yours because I too have one similar and I must tell you that I truly enjoy this one. Maybe because I feel like crying today?? lol -" -- Dri. "thanx all and dri thanku i'm glad u enjoy'd it, i hope whateva made u cry that u'r feeling beter, and can i ask which one of your poems is similar?? i'm curious to read it. thanx again all means alot..:-) " -- baker. I Am by Dri Cook (4) "I smell your essence as I write, such a sweet yet subtle splashed mixture of frankincense on your sole.. " -- Brion' O Neil. "Another wonderful piece by the hardest working lady in the poetry world. My father's church is named The Great I AM Baptist Church. He would love this work!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "This is beautiful Dri. Nice work and I love the style" -- km. "What can I say but thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed this piece." -- Dri. How Can One Start Writing A Poem?? by Shiladitya Sengupta (3) "Cool poem with very deep insight." -- Nancy Rider, New Smyrna, Florida, USA. "nice, interesting, but you forgot to mention that usually, a poem comes from your mind/heart after you've been through terrible, painful times. It's a way to release and to let our unconscious talk of, let's say, the "untalkable"." -- Dri Cook. "bullshit" -- Diana Whitman, Florida, USA. Hanging With Jack Day by E Rocco Caldwell (2) "Hi Rocco, its a lovely poem but meter is out, try and put it into meter and you have a winner,Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "To paraphrase the great English writer and philosopher, G.K. Chesterton: "Suicide is the most unpardonable sin of all. When a man kills another man, he kills a man. When a man kills himself, he kills all men." " -- Richard. Hallowed Ground by Diana Venditti (4) "Ever try lyric style? You seem to have a nack for rhyming try to write something that can be merchendiable (song lyrics) nothing more than what you've got here, except longer and with a formal chorus." -- Brian (Brion') O Neil. "Thanks Brian, used to write songs years ago had a few recorded but after devorse did not want to know about showbiz," -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "i agree with brian, it's a great poem i liked it anyway, but i reckon this could be made into an even better song, even still good work.....:-)" -- david baker. "Hi David thank you, I would like your opinion on my Egyptian poems when you have a moment.Diana V" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Go West Young Man Part 1 by Diana Venditti (1) "correction button not working so cant put right spelling and goofs, sorry not my fault DV" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Getting To Know Me by Diana Venditti (5) "hi again diana, you write pretty well you know. Only thing is that, I was bothered by the first line, coz I couldnt quite understand it. Do you mean to say "I want to be me'? Besides that and couple of other typo's it's good! Really! Keep it up!" -- NPillay. "Aw, there, there Di, don't get down. Obviously, this whole thing has been blown a bit out of proportion. Keep writing, don't let anybody tell you you can't and even if you can't, write anyway! Criticism and conflict will always be there, it's a part of life, how we deal with it is what's important. And this time, you got a poem out of it. Little sloppy, but I think you must have written it in the throes of emotion, chin up and keep writing!" -- kavya. "Hi Kavya, ya well crying into a capuccino and all thatNo joking apart This is me a sentimental slob at heart.thanks regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Hey diana, that was a bit hairy round the edges, but such emotive strength, wow keep up the work for as long as you live :) (and i use rhyme A LOT aswell and it never gets old.) Best regards," -- Josh / AxeY. "Hi Josh, this is not ,underlined, one of my best, it was a bit rambling,thanks for kind words.D" -- Diana Venditti. Gaurdian Angel. by David Baker (9) "That was sad and somehow still sweet. I really enjoyed it, my favourite of your so far, nice work Baker :)" -- Rebecca. "cute!" -- Dri. "Hi, sometimes even guardian angels go on strike, sweet poem.Kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Terrific!" -- Skyler Drevan. "That was good. I read it because I was looking to see if mine was under here and yours had the same title. oh. I just realised I was in the wrong section!" -- Melonie M. Brooks, USA. "I agree with all here, very sweet, sad but sweet." -- Josh / Axey. "Nice Work.I to believe in guardian angels.In your poem you ask your angel "is there a reason to the live I live" One of my reasons is to write poetry and after reviewing your work Dave I believe it's a good reason for you as well." -- David D.. "thanx all, bec, dri, diana, skyler, mel, J/A, and dave, glad u all liked it, and dave (how good is that name lol), thankyou, that's is much appreciated :-):-):-):-):-)" -- baker. "Great work! My homepage | Please visit" -- Gabriel, Canada, Canada, Canada. Freedom Riders Of 1966 by E Rocco Caldwell (5) "some unlikely, brave people joined the fight, slow but somewhat steady progress and that's a good thing. nice job." -- echo. "i like this one. very colorful. i think you meant to write "disappointed" instead of "disappoint" though. "Where childish reveries loiter" - that line would stand alone as a damn good poem!" -- jersey mike, belgium. "Bravo Rocco! I think disappoint fits in the way you were going, but that's just my opinion. So nice to see you writing again... Deb" -- D. G. Williford. "Hi Rocco, nice one,keep writing, Kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Cool! I like this one. Tere's like a feel to it. Great one" -- Akira NJ. Forever Mystery by Skyler Drevan (4) "yes, the truth not always brings us happiness but at least the truth, one way or the other,sets us free, as painful as it can be!" -- Dri. "My main man,,,,well done again. I wish I can remember when attraction was so raw and potent...nicely done" -- e rocco caldwell. "I feel pretty silly reviewing your work since you are such a good writer, and i am only young and not that great, but i though that was really good like all your work. Thank you for all your reviews" -- Rebecca Tantos. "I thank all of you for your reviews of my work. Dri and E Rocco, you know what a fan I am of your work and Rebecca, your pieces have been compelling as well. A note for you, none of us are great, just writers expressing ourselves. You are one of us. Keep writing." -- Skyler. For England And King Harry by Diana Venditti (5) "a wonderful piece of history in a tight and sweet prose! " -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hi ROCCO, HOT OFF PRESS 5MINS AGO, THANKS DIANA,PLEASE READ THE OTHERS AND GIVE ME YOU WECOME OPINION" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "nice one diana! i love a good story, a nice piece of history and you deliver it well. i must admit though when i read "prince harry", i was thinking of the snot-nosed little royal of today but then realized it was "king harry"! well done! please check out mine poems when you find the time too. " -- jersey mike, belgium. "This is a neat piece. I like it. It has a gallant feeling to it, and a tone of delievance and celebration. Well done!" -- Olutayo K. Osunsan, Kampala, Uganda. "Hi Olutayo, coming from you that is indeed a compliment, thank you Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Fifteen Friends And A House On The Hill by Diana Venditti (2) "I know a few people who like cats and dogs more than people. Most of them just stay home alone and read and write." -- Richard. "Hi Richard, Wish I could just stay home and write, I work a very long day. The human race is changing,and I am afraid not for the better. anyway it would be a major coversation to talk about this so I will just thank you for taking the time to read some of my poems,D" -- Diana Venditti. Fear At It's Worst. by David Baker (2) "This one had a bit of rhyming but it went well with it because it wasn�t too much. Sad but enjoyable, the way I like them, glad you don�t feel like this anymore " -- Rebecca. "Once again a style that i enjoy to read, rhyme goes well because of the size of the piece, and as i have said before, keep up the writing." -- Josh / Axey. Falling Again by Dri Cook (3) "I truly enjoyed the fall....it was simply lovely...I do think the title works now! I would love to know what others think..." -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hi Dri, you got me going on this one,I thought hello the lady's writing an erotic one this time,THEN, great like the twist.kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "thank you, rocco, diana AND jersey. Yep, I made a few changes." -- Dri. Every Step Of The Way by Megan Quesenberry (3) "I liked this but watch out forcing lines to rhyme because the piece will have a force feel and take away fromt he meaning...this is what I mean by construct...the overall structure of the poem itself. This is vital for the poem to be successful. Give each line thought...sometimes a poem won't have a rhyming scheme! " -- e. rocco caldwell. "hey Rocco thanks for the tips...they help a lot. Though this poem is already published, I used the tip with my next poem...Thanks again :)" -- megan. "Great work, keep hope..." -- L A Walters. Eulogy For Superman by Anthony S Maulucci (1) "he soars in all of our hearts...a nice tribute to a man of unbending steel!" -- e. rocco caldwell. Eternity by Dri Cook (6) "It's nice (we as Christians) can look forward to death and are ready to die , to have life eternal." -- Brian (Brion') O Neil. "Well, I'm not a christian but I thought this was a nice poem anyway. I think regardless of what religion we are, we all wonder about that special place and what it's like." -- kavya. "Nice work, i really enjoyed the poem and of course the fact it offers hope." -- riley. "Great work, I don't know how you can write so many poems and they can all be so good and hold such meaning" -- Rebecca tantos. "Thank you all for leaving feedback and enjoying my work." -- Dri. "another great piece, it really got me thinking of what is up and coming for me after this life, i agreee with kaya regardless of religion everyone wonders about it one time or another.....congrats on another excellent piece..... :-)" -- dave baker. Engagement by Inchara (2) "Hi Inchara - this is nice. I can almost see it. It doesn't sound like its finished though. It just ends. Perhaps you have the making of an epic poem?? Note to all - why doesn't anybody use the message board? It seems a great waste. We could have lots thoughts and ideas about writing, other than just selectively choosing which poems to read and comment on. Let's help each other more than we are! (Sorry Inchara for stealing a bit of your space!)" -- Jersey Mike, Belgium. "Hi Jersey thanks for ur review. actually even i felt that iam abruptly ending my poem but then i hesitated to add more details as i thought that it would be like exaggerating the event and in the process the poem might lose its intention. thanks for the info abt message board. i was unaware of it :-)" -- Inchara. Endless Slumber by Ari Bush (1) "Hi Ari, change the word abides and that is one cute poem,kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Don't Know by L A Walters (3) "I thought this was very good...glad you decided to post...but mostly that you have found a way to express how you feel. It has been a long time since I was 15...but I remember..:)" -- mattie. "hey this is really good..glad that you carry some of you moms talent!you should go look at mine sometime! :) " -- megan. "Again great work, if only we didn�t have these feeling but it is possible that without them we wouldn�t have the passion or the emotion to write, our greatest triumphs can come from our deepest pains. Great work" -- Rebecca. Diamond Dreams by Amber A Whitman (2) "Now this one is really nice. I'm just a slave to description, I guess. You show a lot of images. Diamond dream!" -- Jersey Mike, Belgium. "excellent, a nice work,dream on, Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Demons Gods And Heros by Diana Venditti (3) "In hopes thy not believe in olde clotted, for these beliefs should be forgotted." -- Brion' O Neil. "Hi Brion, thanks but this is based on the myths of Egyptology which I believe should be researched not brushed under the mat ,we are in the 21 cen,kind regards Diana Venditti " -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Brion, what a terrible attempt at a rhyme, i hope that you are not being serious, as everyone has a right to put their faith in whatever they wish, whether you agree with it or not. As it is i will forive your myopic recalaitrance typical of one in your secular position. It is however a great poem and i have just finished studying Egyptian society myself. Peace." -- Hugh, Australia. Daughter Of The Sun by Diana Venditti (1) "the imagery is nice, Diana. Sort of "wild"....interesting... Please, review my Beauty without the Beast. I made some changes as you suggested......thanks." -- Dri. Dancing In The Dark by Dri Cook (3) "Good tribute and emotion with pictures as usual, keep it up, girl!" -- Brion' O Neil. "It's almost like a story, a sweet one , nice work" -- kavya. "Nice tribute to a dear friend. I love the sentiment in your words. Great job as always Dri! " -- Skyler. Congo Stopover by Diana Venditti (1) "what a great account of your adventure, nicely done and nice you made it out safely." -- echo. Collapse by Hayley Burdett (1) "16, uh? Written like an adult of 40! I liked this...keep up your writing you have the ability too be great!" -- e. rocco caldwell. Cold by Nesam Pillay (2) "Hi, magic, you put it in a nut shell, some people change,and not allways for the best,3what you felt come through ,so vivid, Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "hey i like this its true in so many ways love reading good poetry " -- melissa bushman, morristown, ny, us. Cheek To Cheek by Dri Cook (4) "That was a very sweet poem, I liked the repetition of "you kissed me" at the start of each stanza. Great :):)" -- Rebecca. "Sigh, we should all be so lucky. Nice, sweet poem." -- kavya. "Hello Dry, how I envy you, allways romantic, Yes as usual you touch a womans inner being, we are the romatic ones inside.like like and like regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "don't envy me......you all are talented and I bet romantic as well. Thanks for leaving feedback." -- Dri. Changing Lanes by L A Walters (2) "nice job! says alot with few words" -- mandi. "Like you said to my work i can relate so well, great work, best wishes" -- Rebecca. Cameo Of My Psyche. A Collection by Ulysses Hero (2) "Hi there, I like ,I like etc etc ect.......Just change the word crutch, keep writing Regards Diana Venditti, when you have time read a few of mine." -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Yeah - swinging stuff. marinade in oil for a million years. pretty dry. nice. I laughed, I cried..." -- The Rube/rubicon . Bottled Up Inside by David Baker (4) "This poem was okay, not the best, you just really wrote what you were thinking without much expression. Please don't take this the wrong way, just trying to help" -- Kelly. "OK Dave I thought this one was better than "I cry". The rhymes arent as forced. Nicely done. Could this be a song?" -- km. "yeh "i cry" was the first poem i ever wrote, this was a bit further down the track n i thaught it was alot better aswell, thanx for the feedback it is very much appreciated hope to hear more from u" -- baker. "This piece does just express the thoughts of mind, BUT this is a style i like and therefore i think it is great, keep writing ;)" -- Josh / Axey. Black Night by Adam Wieland (3) "very well done...bleak and dark. I really like the style too...the way one thought is ending while another begins..." -- km. "love the words! the style is unique...so meaningful and real!!" -- Nesam Pillay. "I thought this was great! It was, like Nesam said, unique. Nicely done :)" -- Rebecca Tantos. Beauty Without The Beast by Dri Cook (7) "WOW, that was great, I loved it! Excellent work " -- Rebecca Tantos. "Hello Dry, nice very nice ,instead of eagle why not phoenix, as you said rose from the ashes, just a thought.Kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "I had a feeling rebecca would like this one ; ). Anyway, another nice piece, loved the idea of beauty without a beast. Nice simple, honest lines, I think that's what makes this piece so endearing. I agree with Diana about the phoenix though, it would be more apt but that's your call : )" -- kavya. "ok, I think I just found a solution for the eagle and the Phoenix.....please, tell me what you think. Could not ommit the eagle...thanks for the feedback. Always very welcome." -- Dri. "Hi, now its perfect,can you take a look at my egyptian poems and the spinner of time, love to have your valued opinion.Kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "thanks, Diana. Sure, will do that." -- Dri. "Hi again, the ones I would like you to look at are. Ihy, demons gods and heros, the Duat, and the hand if you have time , thanks DIANA" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Bath Time by G N (2) "Aw, this was nice, sweet in a cuddly sort of way. Nice imagery, wish I still had my bathtub..." -- kavya. "very sweet indeed...nicely written. Baths are the best are they not." -- km. Asleep by Skyler Drevan (1) "That was really sad, but I loved it (although I do enjoy and relate to sad poetry). Don�t leave us, we�ll all miss you too much " -- Rebecca. As It Is by Jersey Mike (4) "I'm not going to say that I know the political situation because I know I'm relatively ignorant to it. Ask me a question and I probably won't be able to answer it. But I liked this - it continues the feeling of the TV - the channel swapping, the thoughts of the audience and the life beyond television and outside the window. It's a quick glimpse into a situation that will effect all that is to come. This was good, keep it up." -- Jack Brown, UK. "Nice work, you give a nice transection of what you see. Enjoyed reading it." -- kavya. "Thanks for your comments guys - appreciate them." -- JM, Belgium. "Hi Mike, yes I like it, you come over like a very angry young man.Diana V" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. April 31st - Belgium by Jersey Mike (2) "Hi Mike, like this one very ,but who was talking about grammer? you seem to hate the whole world?keep writing, kindest regards regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "hi diana! grammar? me! thanx for having a look. nah, i don't hate the world. i find it easier to express negative emotions. they're more powerful. i cannot write the love-dovey/i'm madly in love/she's the love of my life type poetry. i prefer to stir those 'other' emotions. hey, i have a good friend back home with your name, almost... she's vendEtti though." -- jersey mike, belgium. Another Routine Day by Dri Cook (6) "BRAVO! Nicely presented group of pictures...and I don't have to take them to be developed either." -- Brion' O Neil. "Very nice, sad but has a feeling of positivity in it. Some great lines there too, good job. What's with the spacing though?" -- kavya. "thank you both, Brian and Kavya. Now, about the spacing, I had a problem with my computer while typing this one. Thank you also for your review in our LET ME BE A WOMAN, Kavya. As Brian said, we both thank you for that." -- Dri. "writing is your passion...to be as prolific as you are is incredible. There's a burning in you like that of Miss Platt or Emily Dickerson...a passiont o express yourself in words. It is a honor to read your works!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "I have no words to thank you all, Brian, Kavya and Rocco for the wonderful words. I really am flattered. To be compared to these ladies is something that is really great, I'm speechless, Rocco. Thank you so much!!!! " -- Dri. "Dri, what can I say. I briefly opened this site for a final time and had to take a glimpse at yet another masterpiece and , lift my wine glass high and say, CHEERS! I will miss reading touching pieces such as this. Thanks for your reviews." -- Skyler. About A Girl. by David Baker (4) "Sweet but preditable. Dave, you're getting there. Good job." -- km. "It was a little predictable like km said, but what love poems aren't, i liked it, and i am sure someone else would too ;) good work" -- Rebecca. "Thats sweet, well done :)" -- Josh / Axey. "Must agree with all three... ha I'm a poet and I DID know it ;) but yes, I must say, Dave, it's very touching... did you share it with her?" -- Desi. A Walk By The Ocean by Dri Cook (2) "Is this a daydream or is it your Guardian Angel leading your thirsty soal to the drinking well? " -- Brion' O Neil. "whoever she is, she's been helping me to rescue myself from the past. Thanks, my dear, for leaving feedback." -- Dri. A Sparrow Falls by Diana Venditti (6) "buona sera diana! i've been reading your poetry and since i see that you live in italy, and presuming that you're italian, i won't comment on your grammar nor spelling. do you write your poems in italian and then translate? i really don't see much italian grammar so i am guessing that you don't. this poem, i think is one of your better ones, although i would still work on it. i understand the sentiment. i say its one of your better ones but still i notice cliches and over-used lines and sentiments. try not to be over-dramatic. be sincere. write as you feel. use words that you are comfortable with. i wonder if sparrows do live in iraq." -- jersey mike, belgium. "Buona sera Mike,please feel free comment on my grammar and spelling,while you are at it see if you can get inside my soul as well, you might find it an interesting trip, thank you for your interest, kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "PS. yes there are sparrows in Irak.and It was the way I felt at the time." -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "What is Maat? It was really good, but it is bugging me now to know what that is." -- Melonie M. Brooks, USA. "Hi Melonie, thank you for your critique,Maat was the godess of balance and justice,Egyptian, Irak as it was before Summer had many gods in common with Egypt." -- Diana Venditti. "Thank you! My homepage | Please visit" -- Robert, France, France, France. A Search For Words by Diana Venditti (4) "there's more of a flow of expression from you into piece. I was little confused by the last two lines but the style was refreshing and the construct wonderful. I really liked this style from you, Diana" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hi Rocco, re last two lines, when you are not sure. if what is written is good, only those who read(man) and the time it takes to be told if it does. thank you for critique. regards DV" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Hi Diana. You've got this poem flowing both in lines and image!Great work, keep it up!" -- NPillay. "yes, I also enjoyed this one. Again, I never meant to be sarcastic, Diana, when I wrote "take it or leave it" at THE FROG. Here in Brazil, it sounds more like a kidding rather than anything else. OK? Take care. " -- Dri. A Perfect Affair by Diana Venditti (1) "I like it very much! " -- Dri. A New Feeling by Diana Venditti (2) "Wow!!!! There is a lot of hostility in this piece...I can feel the anger and let me tell you I'm glad its not directed at me! Normally you are impeccable when it comes to structure but this one is almost out of control but it works. I think a structured style would have contained the rage too much...this way it flowed ...no...burned like a fire. Good job!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hi Rocco, My faithfull friend, it was trying to put myself in that situation, thank you .Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti. A Fight Against Time by Diana Venditti (7) "there are some truly wonderful lines in this piece..."cares not for tears of the mother babe in cradle rocking" it rolls off the tongue...marvelous! I think this broken into at least into two stanzas will make it more inviting to read. You get a feel that you ahve to run right through it the way it is right now in one giant stanza....but very good." -- e. rocco caldwell. "hI Rocco you have a point there, but where do I put the division, thank you, want a laugh, this I wrote at 5 this morning drinking coffee before tearing off for a conference, Kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "good point about where the division should happen... I re-read it and thought the Quickly line and the He sees line might work! Not better for a coffee induce euphoric dash I might say!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hi Rocco again, yep that might work ok,how do you feel about doing something together, you choose a story line,then we both write a poem,could be fun,give basic details of story. Kind regards DIANA.PS THEN i GET TO CHOOSE STORY LINE LOL" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "I'm in my sun light mood right now so how about something dealing with the dawn/dusk/ light/ shadow...my email address is [email protected] and we can email each other until we get it perfect!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Sounds good, let me get a good nights sleep and will get on to it tomorrow,Regards Diana." -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "sounds good! Sleep well!" -- e. rocco caldwell. A Fairy Tale by Diana Venditti (7) "now this is nice diana. bellisima! i think the difference is that you don't seem to "force" your words to jump forward, they just put on their skates and "glide" forward. i really do like this. fortunately it seems you used up almost all of your pronouns in the other poem! (o; " -- jersey mike, belgium. "Nice...I picture some of Anne Geddes (SP?) photos when I read it.....you may want to correct the grammar/spelling...I found at least 5 in this poem....I'm not picking....it's just I do a lot of proofreading (paralegal) and I pick up on stuff like this really quick....if you're not sure what I'm talking about...let me know...thanks." -- Leigh, Alabama, USA. "Hi Leigh, thank you very much,yes I would like to take you up on your kind offer,this is how we learn, I know,I am terrible in this field,the bane of my life,looking forward to hearing from you.D" -- Diana Venditti. "Hello Diana, This is a very sweet! poem great images... I like it! " -- Rena Leanne Erickson. "Hi Rena, thank you for your critique.D" -- Diana Venditti. "are you the Di I remember from The Brunswick in Brighton?" -- Linda. "For sure she is Linda!" -- Peter, Brighton, Sussex, Engeland. Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 |
|||
| Copyright © 1998-2001 Storymania Technologies Limited. All Rights Reserved. |
||||