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Poetry - Reviews |
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Short Stories - Reviews |
To The Memory Of Your Soul. by Bg Ryan (3) "So sad... :(" -- Arizona. "I did not find this "sad" but rather uplifting...nice work" -- mattie. "I enjoy this alot Ryan, simply beautiful!" -- Monte. Vocal Gate by Elboc Noj (1) "i love the second last line. i think you've got some good imagery working here. keep your thoughts tight and specific. i really enjoyed reading this poem." -- a party for alice. The Dollhouse by Elboc Noj (2) "dude you are sick." -- adam . "oh shit! this is far below the word good. how about writing something you did for 'real' dude. what are you crazy to have written this?" -- shawn w. Slate by Elboc Noj (3) "*****You sound just like my ex.-I liked this, VERY original." -- D Donely. "i still say you can write, but your fucking crazy, possessed or something, talk to somebody" -- adam. "i STRONGLY agree with you adam! THIS DUDE IS CRAZY! BATTY! INSANE! NUTS! aren't you sick of hearing that!" -- shawn w. Myself by Elboc Noj (2) "Wicked!" -- Michelle. "one thing you have right about yourself is that you are a bad writer! try really horrible, dreadful, appalling, shocking writer! one thing you can't do. if you have a girlfriend, dude...never ever let her see the poems you write. infact if you have a gf get rid of these poems, dude! she'll start crying because of these!" -- shawn w. My Nursery by Elboc Noj (4) "What was extrememly morbid..." -- Michelle. "I know... I don't like this piece much... mainly from the deranged image I had in my head when I wrote this that still haunts me today..." -- Elboc Noj. "man your a great writer but really are you possessed? I would really like to talk to you about that, maybe you can answer some of my questions?" -- adam. "great writer? he is horrible! common sence people! if i saw him i would probably attack this dude!i probably wouldn't mind if you...ugh!" -- shawn w. I'm Insane by Elboc Noj (3) "*****This was awesome!I love it. *Finally* i found a poem that's not about love or any of that other crap.I like the way you write." -- D Donely. "i don't get this crap. it is horrible! what kind of low down, dead, prosy poem is this?" -- shawn w. "Really liked what you said. Came to me at a really good time, all the very best chris" -- Chris, U.K.. Happiness by Elboc Noj (3) "*****Damn..your poems are completely different from everything else I've read on this 'site. Where do you get your ideas anyways? " -- D Donely. "You're not the first to say that my poems are different from other poems, but I don't see what's so special about them. I do not know where my ideas come from... some lost place in my mind seems to generate them and this here is just how I think in day to day life... it's horrendous not understanding anything you're thinking..." -- Elboc Noj. "different? dude your poems are crazy! what the hell does this have to do with happiness? those four last lines are awful!" -- shawn w. Deliriant by Elboc Noj (3) "I've been ready alot of your poems, your good but dude you need help.No offensive but really, you should talk to somebody" -- adam. "maybe he has a personality disorder." -- lori-ann. "i'm really sorry i didn't mean it. it just that i saw your e-mail address." -- lori-ann. Change by Elboc Noj (1) "i can't even read anymore of this batty shit!" -- shawn w. The Color Of My Moon Is Red by M Q Walters (7) "Mattie....perhaps we look upon the same moon" -- mandi. "I hope you aren't feeling the hopelessness this piece seems to convey. I do like it." -- Molly B. "I frequently feel such hopelessness,but hold precious moments in my hand" -- mattie. "I've been told that the moon has no color Mattie, that it's the light from the sun that reveals its form which is why we have a dark side of the moon, the light doesn't shine there!" -- Monte. "I think that's true Monte...wonder what makes mine red? Thanx for reading am always honored :)" -- mattie. "Again as I read your older writings I can't help but get the feeling you've had a troubled past.But this poem enforces how I've been saying what a talented writer you are.The next time your moon shines red try to concentrate on the brightness of the stars.You can accomplish that by looking into the night sky or by looking into the mirror at your eyes.:)" -- David D. "How sweet you always are David...thank you." -- mattie. Why Can't I Have You by Karina Lizet Perez (4) "Hey, It's me the author of this poem...as most people know i used to just write songs but i started writing poems like around April 6 '03...not that long ago so i hope you check out my poetry as well as my songs and please leave reviews it makes me really happy to hear what people think of my work." -- Karina. "Don't give the whole story away in the description! Let the reader be surprised! The thing that bothered me about the poem itself was the length of the lines. I think that it would flow better (and make more sense) if they were shorter (ex I'm always asking myself/Why can't I have you?...After I've asked myself/I start to cry/Now that I'm done crying..."). But that's just my opinion. I don't like the last part where she, apparently, comes back to life. That doesn't make sense to me. It would be more poignant if it ended with "halfway up the stair to Heaven." And him telling her he "really liked [her]" sounds extremely juvenile. Have him tell her he loves her." -- Wolfa. "i half agree with wolfa but i think the description of the poem is okay that made me want to read it. it is cool she came back to life, just leave it that way. i like poems that end like that. the immaginative/mystical type. and he shouldn't say that he loves her because he didn't notice her.its sweet." -- shawn w. "Thanks Wolfa and Shawn for your reviews this actually was like one of my first poems i've ever really written in my life hehe, so thanks for the advice and comments.. Luvz YA!" -- Karina. Why Are We Here? by D Donely (4) "*****This stupid website is ticking me off!For some reason, it's not listing everything else that i've written, even though it's all posted under the same name. So..if u'd like to read some more of my work, type in "D Donely" and it'll come up. Thanks." -- D Donely (the author). "We have the different races on earth ,because of the different races of simians or primates that were around when the Sirians (some of the angels or gods of the bible) came to geneticlly create a domesticated intellegent primative race to tend the earth,this is why there is no missing link and why our brains only use 10 percent of our spiritual potential,we were made with the intention that we would have the capacity to evolve into a higher being when called to.We reincarnate continuously in many creeds and colours and situations, and possibly on many different planets so we can feel and experience physical fellings and emotions,and this helps us spirtually grow back to the supreme source,call it God if you like,for we are spiritual beings ,not physical,this is just a space suit,and we are about to evolve in a very quickened way as the light of the Photon belt reaches our planet,and our mothers and fathers the Sirians will be here to help us through the dimensional shift which will take place some time around 2011-12,as we once again connect with their planet the Dog star SIRIUS...PEACE FRIEND.. " -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast. "*****Uh...err.....hmm...uh..OK. Sure, why not...it could..happen. *holds up pointer and middle finger* Peace my friend!" -- d donely. "Excellent little excerpt Donely. Good questions with no good answers for me to give. By the way what the fuck is that guy talking about? :-) Oh well, everyone has a theory huh?" -- Eric Richards, gainesville, Fl. What Is Love? Love Is... by Karina Lizet Perez (1) "great poem, i can relate to it, so its cool" -- Krysti, Lakewood, CA, USA. Ur Old News by Hanan Al Kindi (1) "Not sure what I think about this one. You do have two typos though. 1) First line should read, "You were with him a long time ago" 2) Fourth line from the bottom should read, "No one can replace me in his heart". It's not bad, just not my kind poem I guess. " -- Molly B. Unsure by Louisa Duncan (2) "Wow! What a mind, I think your passion for this person will live for an eternity and beyond. But it feels as if the other person needs to grow up to understand the love that has been presented in front of him, nice piece of work:)" -- Buxton. "this is sweet..." -- Michelle. Understand by Jeni Jopes (3) "Everyone has been there, everyone understands, and unless you 1. Use correct spellings/fix typos and 2. Write about something more original, no one will take you seriously as a poet." -- Wolfa. "sorry wolfa, but this is MY poetry, this is as serious as it gets for me. i dont care if people don't like it. im asking for reviews, not suggestions to change my whole writing." -- Jeni Jopes. "I like it because when I read I could really relate to it. Your also right about it being your poetry and it doesn't matter if people don't like it. But I just want to say it's a good poem and that I know many more people besides me can realte to it." -- Katie. Unbearable Deception by Arizona (1) "This is very good. A lot has been said here with few words. I think a lot of people can probably relate to the message within." -- Molly B. Time Of Fear by D Donely (2) "*****This stupid website is ticking me off!For some reason, it's not listing everything else that i've written, even though it's all posted under the same name. So..if u'd like to read some more of my work, type in "D Donely" and it'll come up. Thanks." " -- D Donely(the author). "hey! i'm 14 also. ive been writing about as long as you have. this is awesome i was hoping id find someone my age. i have a few pointers. first of all, whats with the dashes (-)? you dont need those. but if u prefer them...go ahead. and then you call Time of Fear, but it sounds like you're taking a test or something. maybe if you made your fear a little clearer. and last, not least, this is much of a pointer, but i really liked how you described as it came and as it left (the fear) so this is awesome. i would really like to get to get to know you, so feel free to email me. bye!" -- Jeni Jopes. Time I See by M Q Walters (4) "I did like this...you know you must first learn to love yourself" -- mandi. "Yes Mandi,we must all learn to first love ourselves, and to forgive ourselves as well" -- mattie. "I hope you don't think I'm picking on you but I suppose I am. You write really well but your themes are all about you and how you have been shot down and how you need somebody to love and accept you etc., etc., etc. Eventually, even your friends and admirers will grow tired of the same old same old. If your want unconditional love, all I can say is who the hell doesn;t want it? You better learn to love yourself first if you want to be loved. I know that's an old cliche' but it's quite true. " -- Richard. "Well I suppose it is easy to say what one wants to say behind a mask..." -- mattie. The Thing I Cannot Beat by Christina Aspears (6) "Very good!" -- Tim Houlihan. "Awsome! Very good poem about everyobdys favorite sport wiht a net!" -- collins, in, in, us. "Wonderful! This is so simple yet so profound how can a 15 year old have such insight! Very good!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Superb, that's one of the best Ive read here, Good work! " -- Buxton. "Hi Christina, nice little poem. I see you like ancient Egypt take a look at,The Duat, Ihy, demons gods and heros and tell me what you think. Kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "This is great. My favorite sport as always been the one with the hoop and net !" -- Kyle. The Last Tear by Hanan Al Kindi (1) "I like this one. Very realistic. Couple of typos here too. Last line, the to should be too. Sixth line from the bottom, "learnt" I believe should be "learned." I think all girls go through something like this at least once." -- Molly B. The Gift Of Writing by Karina Lizet Perez (2) "This is worded excellent. After I read through it a few times it stuck in my head. Excellent word usage. Great writer." -- Tom, Hull, Mass, USA. "I like to say how true is your first verse! Even though some people who comment on ones work don't like the work that some poets write. - Poetry is a form or Art, which anyone can write it to express one's feeling. " -- Amy, Hayes, UK. The Clown by Louisa Duncan (2) "Not bad, should be a song though!! Never the less good." -- Buxton. "Agreed." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Solitude by Autumn Matz (1) "Sad poem that seemed well expressed from the heart. hope it's just a bad day not a perpetual state of mind. space needs corrected." -- Just A Guy. Shadowman by David B Doc Byron (1) "Ahhhhhhhhhh it's like a nightmare...good job Doc!" -- Michelle. Pain by David B Doc Byron (2) "This is quite moving." -- Molly B. "Hypnotic, chilling and captivating.... I was sucked in from the beginning and spit out at the end.. Bravo Doc. " -- D. G. Williford. One Bad Choice... by D Donely (3) "*****This stupid website is ticking me off!For some reason, it's not listing everything else that i've written, even though it's all posted under the same name. So..if u'd like to read some more of my work, type in "D Donely" and it'll come up. Thanks." " -- D Donely. "this is really good too. the dominoes part really added on well. " -- Jeni Jopes. "Nice read, but the dominoes effect can be stopped ya know :)" -- mattie. Ok Again by Jeni Jopes (10) "I liked this a lot, sad but says what seems on your mind and comes across honestly. I know you probaly don't want to hear this but you'll find there is more than one love for everyone and losing one or two or more along the way will help you grow, become the lady you want to be. Pain is a price we've all had to pay." -- Just A Guy. "Why are you so sad its almost pathetic! are you crazy? or did your boyfriend just dump you and your just mad?" -- Mark, A uroa, Illinois. "ok mark ur an asshole reread the poem and then see what it sounds like. u obviously shouldnt be reading this kind of poetry. " -- Jeni Jopes. "skrew you im not an asshole. ok jeni dope " -- Mark , Aurora, Illinois. "Jenni you shouldn't rip on Mark. You don't even know him. I mean sure, what he wrote about your poem wasn't exactly nice, but you don't have to call him an asshole. As for the poem, you repeat the word pain too much and I don't understand how anyone can be throwing pain on you. Finally, you capitalize OK in one part of the poem and then you don't have it capitalized in another part." -- Steven. "*****I agree w/jeni, mark is an asshole. Or, at least his comment made him sound like an asshole. Steven, u said she shouldn't rip on mark b/c she doesn't know him? Well, mark shouldn't make assumptions about her or about why she wrote this, afterall, he doesn't know her either." -- d donely. "thank you donely! i guess common sense comes in handy! " -- Jeni Jopes. "So what do you want me to right? i didnt like your poem, do you should try writing about happy things. there is that better jeni dope." -- Mark , Aurora, Illinois. "whats all the fuss about Mark? i think he was just trying to be nice. you all should be nice to each other. everyone is welcome to share their opinions.this is what the site is about. respecting people's views. he's a guy he's not going to take the poem the way girls take it.i don't think he made assumptions about her. he just asked a question. jeni didn't have to respond in an offensive way. all she had to do was answer or don't answer if you don't want to. nobody's forcing you to. and that poem was okay to me, on the other hand the way the writer feels is so inferior and guys tend to hate that, but you're a girl, so what's the big fuss? **********great poem JENI! " -- lori-ann. "I'm siding with mark. your poem sucks dick. in your poem you say please help me. well thats what i was saying when i read your poem." -- mikey. Notice Me by Autumn Matz (1) "My name is raymond sanchez and Im looking for my cousin. Her name is Autumn, and her father's name is Richard, and her mothers name is Virginia, but we called her Sissy. Hopefully I have found you, if not, I enjoyed your poem regardless. Im tryna to find where our great grandmother is buried. This could almost be a poem in an of itself! lol...They used to live in Sacramento, Ca. They had a next door neighbor named George." -- Raymond Sanchez, Sacramento, CA, United States. Neo-Communism. by Buxton (3) "nice work:)" -- serty. "Great work:))" -- Sasu . "Exceptional work, i like how you invoke a subtle politik through a hollow emotional journey guided by your calming presence." -- Forbidden Poet, Glasgow, Scotland. Myth by Jason ''The Bloodman'' Taylor (2) "That was magnificient! Poe was quite a puzzle wasnt he? Great job!" -- Michelle. "Excellent work. Your dad should be proud!" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. My Beloved Friend. by Bg Ryan (2) "Very sweet...I love the line "No tears will fall beneath your feet". Great job...keep going." -- Michelle. "Oh yeah, in the second line I think you meant to say "life" not "live"." -- Michelle. Love Until Tormorrow. by Bg Ryan (1) "I love the rhyme to this. But All of your poems make me sad :(" -- Arizona. Leaving You by Hanan Al Kindi (4) "wow Hanan. I really didn't know you could write poems this good. " -- Sarah Lee. "Very touching. keep up the good work Hanan. " -- George. "Very, very good Hanan!" -- Michelle. "Very good! This really touched home for me. I've definitely been there and done that!" -- Molly B. Just Tuesday by Toluwalope Olugbenga Ogunlesi (1) "oh..ok.not much to say about it. it does needs a little rewording." -- lori-ann. I Dont Think You're Alive by Jeni Jopes (5) "I just think that the layout of this makes it quite hard to read, although it`s a simple poem, and robs it of any impact it might have." -- Peter Rivendell. "While the layout is difficult to follow at first, the rhythm in this poem is very nice. I particularly liked the "you push/too hard/you walk/too fast/you think it will/but it won't last" section. But there are some awkward sections, and it could use a good edit. " -- Wolfa. "Jeni- I read through your poems and this one stands out as one of the better ones. I agree with Peter and Wolfa, a little tweaking is needed. Keep at it though, you'll improve, especially if you listen to the constructive criticism the other writers give you i.e. spellchecking. Good luck! " -- Tessa. "*****I liked this poem. The set up's different from most poems. It's good to try new things. :)" -- D Donely. "hey thanks guys!" -- Jeni Jopes. Hollow For Fools Gold. by Buxton (3) "This is fantastic! You need to fix the typos though. Otherwise, WOW!" -- Michelle. "this is such a deep poem. you say so much and yet without detail. its obvious that you know what you feel and can express it. just be careful of your grammar!!!!" -- louisa, aberdeen, scotland, britain. "I sincerely believe that this poem has great potential." -- Wolfa. Death by D Donely (1) "*****This stupid website is ticking me off!For some reason, it's not listing everything else that i've written, even though it's all posted under the same name. So..if u'd like to read some more of my work, type in "D Donely" and it'll come up. Thanks." " -- D Donely (the author). Crying For Tears by Buxton (4) "I felt this poem was more of a culmination of my other attempts, but I never meant to, sorry." -- Buxton. "I think this only makes sense to someone who knows what you are going throug. It seems to me that you suddenly realise that whoever this woman(im assuming its a woman) that you've lost her and you never understood the love she showed you. Now you realize your feelings and that she believed that fate is one thing but you can't rely on that to make you happy.. you have to grab it when it presents itself. Its so hard to give yourself to friends never mind lovers." -- louisa, aberdeen, scotland, britain. "This is the first time I've ever read your work. I don't know what your going through and I don't know you personally. I really like your message, or atleast my interpitation of your message. Thanks. I hope to read more work from you. Sincerely." -- Arayka. "Once again this is a very good poem that speaks to me. I feel your pain. I've been through it. In other words been there done that. Motivation is key here. If you have something is on your heart don't wait to write or type it that is unless your in the middle of a funeral where your great grandmother Pearl is. Even though you only met her once. Still at least write it down. If you have no paper, pretend your going to the bathroom and make for the refreshment room. Inspiration only lasts so long." -- Lucy, Beaver Dam, Unithed States, Kentucky. Broken by Francesca Angelique Carrillo (1) "Very expressive and colorful language, uniquely visual and at times profound, your words paint a tapestry of of things hoped for despite it's dark overtones! Much potential here, keep writing, looking foreward to reading more from you! " -- Monte. A Vampire's Attack by D Donely (3) "Nice job...good visualization as well." -- Michelle. "Not bad." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Have you read my work yet?" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. A Perfect Possession by Hanan Al Kindi (2) "I am the one in this piece,so kind of you to write about me.Your a wee treat." -- peter the pope, Baghdad. "yeah right peter--keep dreaming. aw Hanan that was a really nice poem. a guy like that will exsist in your life some day." -- shawn w. A Perfect Night by L A Winterburn (8) "Sweet indeed! Nice work, enjoyed alot!" -- Monte. "That was so romantic...nice piece!" -- Jalesa. "I agree with Monte and Jelesa, that was a really nice read. Very sweet and romantic. Smooth tanned legs---nice thought indeed" -- Keneth Whitley. "hehe thanks people :-)it was written for the love of my life :-)" -- The Author. "Beautiful poem....I'd like to meet her (tanned legs! wow--wee) j/k" -- Todd. "Very nice. I really enjoyed this." -- Molly B. "i like this poem. it's funny how many people on this site write love poems that seem to be cliche. this poem reminds me of Just a Guy love poems. besides they are all good." -- lori-ann. "Well structured, clean message and superb delivery! " -- Jason. A Bright Blue Cloudless Sky by Peter Rivendell (1) "i liked the vivid pictures you draw here. it's like each phrase is a metaphor for life, and they're all things i've experienced before. it's cool. " -- ps. 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