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Short Stories - Reviews |
Confusion 1 by Peter Rivendell (1) "I'm not qualified to give you a review on this one. Total open style is not something I read well. Not a cop out, I am dyslexic. I cope real well, but this style throws me for a loop. Any of the others I don't review, you can bet it's because of the same problem." -- Sylvia. What Whales Dream by Stuart Eric Longridge (7) "So let me get this right,its about a 500 million year old reincarnated whale who is dreaming of being an ancient first man,who is remembering one of his future lives as a modern human,then as a whale again he becomes uncomfortable with thinking like a man so he concentrates and thinks himself as a whale again in the future to our age when he gets hunted and killed, but he gets reincarnated again with the same mind so he remembers everylife in his 500 million year span,but still has fond memory of his favorite rock that he used to stand on as a human which turned to sand many many millenia ago?Its not deep enough.Nice work friend" -- Texas Tom, The land of the free. "Ha ha yes thats exactly what im saying well done mate ,cheers" -- Stuart the writer, Belfast, N Ireland. "I was Whale once i believe. I have not yet seen the Oceans but i sing like whale, My father says it is like having pig in house who giving young. " -- Huezario, Kazakhstani. "Stuart come home now,your mind is not what it once was.Whales dont dream they exist,they have no thought process,although having said that i once got talking to one on the Braniel bus who seemed to have a keen knowledge of Australian wine. Draw your own conclusions! " -- Prince fillett, belfast, ireland, antrim. "i think this is by far one of your best works,dont listen to jabba.but i think that girl he mentioned sounds familiar...great song by the way,see you on thursday,one love,the quickening draws close." -- mr remo,rimm etc, london, england. "Stuart... I will say your work is different, and compared to your other stuff, this one got worse! The wacko from Kazakhastani said it best "My father says it is like having pic in house giving you." Referring to this poem or his singing, who knows..." -- Reagan Rothe, H-Town, TX. "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... Wake Up Sleepy Dead by Stuart Eric Longridge (3) "what sort of car was it?" -- rimm, london, england. "What food treat? A Boost?" -- Keith. "Hey, yea it was me in my car. I've done it. I recon I've already died in lots of parallel universes already doing the dream driving - not drink - just done with the day. Recon my multiple universes are running out!" -- Be be the ed of the suckmaster times. Trapped In The Masque by Peter Rivendell (1) "sounds like a creepy pink floyd type song." -- Daniel. Thoughts At An End by Eric A Hofmann (2) "i liked this. it's deep, i'm not sure i understand it all the way, but it means something. i like the stanza about the letters." -- pearl. "This poem kind of hits home. I have two friends that are going through a similar emotional situation. I like the tone: it's sincere like you just want the other person to understand." -- Majen, PA. The Waking by Keri McGriff (2) "With only a few words, you made a world of meaning." -- mia angello, WI. "Should 'graps' be 'grasps?' Otherwise, nicely done." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. The Mists Of Dreams by Judith Goff (5) "Judith! Once again you've captured what I would imagine a dark love to be like. Amazing, thick like blood, sweet....Good job as usual." -- Michelle. "Yes, Michelle, thick like blood, bittersweet like forbidden love ... I am happy to have captured your imagination !!!! Thank you for the great review!!!" -- Judith. "Sweet and very hot! Good work Judith!" -- JM. "Sweet breath? Was your dark prince eating sugar? How dark is that? I like it though." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "A lot of things are sweet, R Bennett ... It's all a matter of taste LOL Thanks for the review, as always" -- Judith. The Internal Storm by L A Winterburn (4) "Trapped within the asylum of your soul." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Brilliant and real. Great work!" -- me. "I had no idea that's what they were like. Good luck with it man." -- Justin. "This is really good. I have the same problem, and this is pretty close to how I feel as well. Nice interpretation>" -- Nate W. Swartz, NY, usa. Subliminal Messages by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Wow. Truth in words. It's nice to see something that has not been played down to please the small minded. Great Work!" -- Jennifer, Reno, NV, USA. "You are one warped dude; and where is the subliminal?" -- Brian O Neil. Spirit Dancer by Sue (Sooz) Simpson (3) "Sooz! What a beautiful story poem, I didn't know you were such a romantic at heart, for someone who has often said you don't like poetry you sure have a gift for it!!!" -- Monte. "Sooz, this one has special meaning for me, it is beautifully realized!!! Like Monte, I find it difficult to believe this isn't your forte' ..." -- Judith. "Monte sshhh don't tell everyone. Romantic? Me? Bah humbug. Thank you both, but I know my strengths, I can write an evisceration (but can't spell it)as well as any butcher. But a poetry expert reading this would say the thingy doesn't whatsit with the metre and the stanzas are metronomically doo dahhed with the other things .. well words to that effect anyway. I pretty much leave poetry to the poets these days. And if I do step over the lyrical line then it tends to be rambling freeform which I quite enjoy sometimes. Thank-you both again. And Judith I hope you get lots of roses. " -- Sooz, Dalton-in-furness, England, Cumbria. Sisters Of The Heart by Judith Goff (9) "Excellent work until the last section. Maybe it should read: "You come to me in MY dreams" and "UPON waking I still...". Just a thought." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Thank you, R Bennett ... you made me re-think it and I believe I came up with a better stanza ..." -- Judith. "I think this is a beautiful piece, but the liquid chocolate simile is a little cliched." -- Peter Rivendell. "Thank you so much, Peter, but the phrase "liquid chocolate" has personal meaning and will remain (:o)..." -- Judith. "See, I made you think and now it's even better than it would have been with my suggestions!!!" -- R. Bennett. "A touching heart felt piece and a fine tribute to your loved one, wish I could write something as beautiful as this for my brother!" -- Monte. "Thank you, Monte ... I KNOW you could do this for your brother" -- .Judith. "You guys wouldn't want to read what I would say about MY brother!!" -- R. Bennett. "Oh R Bennett ... that would surely change should you lose him somehow ... and yes, you helped me make this even better, thank you" -- Judith. Requiem by Judith Goff (4) "Short and sweet. I like this one. (You are one of the best poets I know, Judith.)" -- Dennis Kanan. "Dennis, I am humbled by your words ... it's so gratifying to know something that gives me such pleasure, is having the same effect on other people; Thank you!" -- Judith. "Thanks for the recommendations, Judith... I'm getting to 'Post-Mortem' next. On 'Requiem', it is a lot less gut-wrenching and harsh. Whether this is good or bad, it depends on the readers state of being... I prefer your writing when it twists like a knife in one's stomach! Simple and strong poem, nonetheless." -- Reagan Rothe, Houston, TX, USA. "Judy, Awesome work, as i read it I wonder to myself if it was written about me or Mark. Kindered spirits? one whose anger swelled / one whose anger quelled only to rise again / Regardless of the facts / Regardless of our stories / In our minds our friendship remains / Full of beautiful glories Much love, Jeremy Dunlap" -- Jeremy Dunlap, Los Angeles, CA, US. Real by R Palooza (2) "A strange and unusal poem, but needs to be expanded upon. It sounds a little trite. " -- -. "sounds like a cyber relationship........crazy" -- michelle. Please Now by Judith Goff (12) "Great work, hun! (Ain't we all just looking for that somewhere and someway?) Keep Up The Good Work!" -- Dennis Kanan. "Yes Dennis, we are. And sometimes it's a very long, and sad road ... Thank you ..." -- Judith. "Dwelling won't help. Your other works - which are dedications - will. Don't dwell Judi. It will make it worse." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "So easy to say 'get over it', so damn hard to do it - time, time, time. Pain is real and lets you know you're alive, it will run it's course. Good Luck and as always good writing." -- Just A Guy. "Yes, R Bennett, you are right, it does make it worse, but this is like nothing I've ever experienced and I feel so lost ... maybe someday soon I'll find my way" -- Judith. "Thank you, Dennis. Time, yes time .... so often there is just too much time" -- Judith. "Denying your feelings will only prolong the pain, I know that all too well. The worst part was people telling me how I should feel. You will find your way when the time is right! Keep the faith!" -- JM. "Judith, I love the hope expressed at the end of this piece, the hope of loving more when plagued with the pain of love lost is half the battle, the other half is believing enough in yourself to know that you can do it!" -- Monte. "I will, JM, I will ..." -- Judith. "Monte, thank you ... perhaps there is hope somewhere ..." -- Judith. "Hey sister, I feel your pain...no wait, maybe that's my own...read mine, Art thou art? I enjoyed the flow of this poem, and the sentiment, or should I say sediment of your mood." -- Mia Angello, WI. "Thanks, Mia!!!! I read yours, check my review! My mood for a very long time has been bleak ..." -- Judith. Paint My World by Paula Poland (2) "Paula, very creative poem, I like the way you used the various painters and palette's of colors to reinforce the emotions felt. Very visual and powerful!" -- Monte. "Thank you for the nice comments, Monte." -- Paula. Only Words by Judith Goff (9) "You have much more than nothing. You could never convince me of that. Maybe it's time to go back to vampyres? " -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Judith, words are powerful vehicles for emotions and we must be careful how we use them, use them positively and they become blessings, use them negatively and they become self fulling prophesies...there is so much more to you than nothing, how else could you touch the lives of so many people with YOUR words!!!" -- Monte. "R Bennett, In the past three years, I have lost my sister, her husband(within 6 months of each other) Mark and a very close friend ... they took so much of me with them, it is sometimes difficult to find anything of value that was left behind ... perthaps all this writing will eventually save me" -- Judith. "Monte, yes words have power, to heal, to destroy ... I am struggling mightily to pull out of this and people like you and R Bennett, along with many others, have lit a flame of hope at the end of the tunnel ...." -- Judith. "Judith - excellent job but with such a writing ability NOTHING is hardly a description of you. " -- Just A Guy. "JAG, thank you so much ... it still amazes me to know everyone here enjoys my work as much as they do ..." -- Judith. "Very nice style. I really liked this piece. Even though I don't know you I have to agree with the others that "nothing" is not a good description of you." -- Molly B. "Thank you Molly ... and thank you for the kind words ..." -- Judith. "I have been in a very similar place to where you sat emotionally and spiritually when you wrote this. I find it very powerful. The pattern is hypnotic and the tone reflects pain felt as a whole, transformed to a hole--numbfully empty. Great work. " -- Mia. Nothing Much by Pearl S (5) "Sad thoughts, sad story told beautifully." -- Just A Guy. "thank you...it's something i find myself thinking about a lot" -- pearl. "Looks to me like your mind is still singing. On the critique side, I felt that. Somewhere inside me hidden away, I felt that." -- Sylvia. "I enjoyed how you used the image of the names carved in the wood and the underlying emotion of bittersweetness that came forth. Thank you for replying to my poem; I guess we are connected by a line you had: "They must first experience it for themselves."" -- Eric. "thanks...i liked your poem bkz of its concept too though. maybe you're right?" -- pearl. Nightscape by Peter Rivendell (3) "Interesting. I almost felt like I was there. Of course, if I were there, I would have had a vampyre lurking about somewhere! Good work!" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Who needs vampires when you have your own inner demons?" -- Peter Rivendell. "After you posted your review of my poem "lovers Sea" I was pleased to find you also have postings, this is the first I have read of yours..very descriptive, takes the reader to where you are, I enjoyed this and look forward to reading more of your postings...by the way we all struggle with our own inner demons and they can be more frightening than anything imagined" -- mandi. Night's Sorrow by Rose Trimovski (2) "Was the withering Rose you I wonder - those lies surface sooner or later, huh? Nice piece." -- Just A Guy. "You might enjoy a lot of my work. Things like being alone and infidelity come to mind." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. My Friend by Michael Allen Rosendo (5) "This reminds me of the song "Flavor of the Week" by American Hi-Fi. Don't worry. She'll figure it out." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Or a song by the Goo Goo Dolls." -- Steven T. "I like this, and the idea is interesting...you would expect for the author to want to hurt her, to be bitter or angry or something, but he doesn't...i liked it. " -- pearl. "The poem reflects a sensitive soul with a gentle heart. I love you Mike Rosendo!" -- Danny. "Your poem puzzles me. It is so straitforward... i did not have any trouble trying to "decode" the message you were trying to say. You didn't seem to shoud any of your message in symbols or metaphors. This can be a good thing... why hide things? However... symbols and methaphors help a poem present an idea in ways that it hasn't been thought about before. I think you should explore this." -- Benjamin Bush, Cerritos, CA, USA. Lycanthrope by Judith Goff (4) "Excellent!" -- Lora. "You're dead. No more poems. Damn." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Lora ... thank you!!!" -- Judith. "Fear not, R Bennett ... the werewolf's bite, like the vampire's, often does not kill, but, instead, transforms the victim to one of its own!!! There WILL be poetry!!" -- Judith. Lets Get High!! by L A Winterburn (9) "lol....you're gonna give the wrong impression of yourself darling." -- Me. "relax me, it just a poem. nothing is wrong with it. i tried to find something negative about it. silly me." -- lori-ann. "Umm...erm....This is..well, the Dumbest poem that I've ever read. Personally, to me you sound like a prick in your other poems. And...this one makes you sound like a stoner. But, stoners don't write poems about bunnies, animals, wolves, love, etc. So...uh...you suck. It sounds like you wrote this just to fit in or something. So, all in all, I rate your poem as a ...a...0. , oh, no offense or anything. " -- Me. "Errrrrr you don�t mean to cause any offense? What were you trying to do then? But its ok, you didn't. Obviously you are someone that feels there own work is so inadequate that you have to try to totally dishearten someone you have never met. Is that why you didn't put your real name (ME)? Oh and just incase you were wondering, which I bet you probably aren�t, this poem here was meant as a joke, and I do admit it isn�t my best work. But if you have read most of my other poems, (and from your review I am guessing you have) then something must have kept you reading." -- The Author. "You think MY work's "inadequate"? Actually, i don't write. So, sorry, that little line of yours didn't hurt a bit." -- Me. "And why would I want to put my real name anyways? What would that prove.."hey, i signed with my real name!Yay!!I'm so proud!"..uh..I don't think so.Besides, you could be some crazed stalker, so, why would I want to give you my name?HUH?" -- ME. "LOL you don�t write (me)? Then how can you comment on my work? Well I guess you can try to comment, but obviously I have a better imagination and more talent than yourself to be able to make something out of nothing IE write poems and stories. Oh and I wasn't trying to hurt you by writing my response to your review I was just trying to make a point that for someone who has wrote such a harsh and vindictive review should have more guts to tell me who the review came from. So at least I can look at the work you produce. But as you said, you don�t have any imagination to be able to do that. In your first review, you called me a few names that I thought were uncalled for, as you were supposed to be reviewing my poetry, not just slagging me of and trying to second guess my character. This I believe shows a lot of immaturity in your self, and I would appreciate it if you would not review any more of my poems unless you are going to give me some constructive feedback, (Thankyou)" -- The author. "It's good that you credit yourself with such imagination and talent, flattering will keep you happy. And obviously your a closed minded person if you think that writing is the only way to express yourself.FYI, it's not. And you don't think that a person who DOESN'T write shouldn't have the brain to review?uh.....most people who read DON'T write, and so if they can't make comments..well, you writers are out of luck. And I think that whether a person choses to put words down on paper has nothing to do with their being able to chose what they like and don't like. A person who has absolutely NO experience would still be able to decide what they thought was good/bad. And uh.... your comment "But as you said, you don�t have any imagination to be able to do that", confused me a tad. Uhm..as I recall, I never said this about myself..so....i dunno, you should really try to get your facts straight. And I called you "names that were uncalled for"? Prick, and Stoner? Um..ok, to me they're not harsh...but then again my generation is used to it. So, if that hurt you, I'm sorry. And by the way, I can be immature if i want to, I'm mature enough to make my own decisions. Bye.Bye." -- Me. "good grief...*sigh*...look "ME" the author is just trying to say that if you cant be constructive, ie: work on flow, rhyme, etc..... then shut the FUCK up!!" -- michelle. Jinny by Sue (Sooz) Simpson (2) "Sooz! This piece made me smile and was fun! I have several Jinny's at home too and only wish I could write as fine a tribute to them as you have for yours!" -- Monte. "Thanks Monte, Lurchers are such lively and loyal dogs. " -- Sooz, Dalton-in-furness, England, Cumbria. Iraq Attack by Stuart Eric Longridge (19) "I didn't know this was becoming a political forum. To each his own. 01/27/02 will prove that those factories are making more than just food and medicine. If they used it on Iran, they must still have it somewhere. Try looking in one of Saddam's underground palaces...you know...those palaces that such a poor, starving nation couldn't possible afford to build after the Gulf war? Oh wait. Only the people of Iraq are supposed to know Iraq is poor and starving. It's NATO and the USA who have made them poor, not the building and purchasing of weapons and the building of giant palaces of gold and jewels. Get real Stuart. This war is going to happen and maybe we'll finish it this time. Bush '04." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. ""possibly" not "possible" sorry for the typo." -- R. Bennett. "That is true if you believe your media movie,but just remember who sold them the weapons,wake up to the real world Dmy friend. To R.Bennet" -- Dr Donkeypunch, Leeds, England. "Are you denying that they have the weapons? Of course the US sold them weapons in the late 70's and early 80's to fight Iran. Do you think they don't have any WMDs any more? If you do you are as blind as Stuart. What about the starving people while Hussein build palaces everywhere? I agree with R. Bennett. Bomb them back to hell and take the Hezbollah and PLO with them." -- Terrance Garcia. "It is the year 2003 and Noah lives in the United� States.� � The Lord speaks to Noah and says: "In one year I am� going to make it rain and cover the whole earth with� water until all is destroyed. But I want you to save� the righteous people and two of every kind of living� thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to� build an Ark. In a flash of lightning, God delivered� the specifications for an Ark. Fearful and trembling,� Noah took the plans and agreed to build the Ark.� "Remember," said the Lord, "You must complete the Ark� and bring everything aboard in one year."� � Exactly one year later, a fierce storm cloud covered� the earth and all the seas of the earth went into a� tumult. The Lord saw Noah sitting in his front yard� weeping.� � "Noah." He shouted, "Where is the Ark?"� � "Lord please forgive me!" cried Noah. "I did my best,� but there were big problems. First, I had to get a� permit for construction and your plans did not comply� with the codes. I had to hire an engineering firm and� redraw the plans. Then I got into a fight with OSHA� over whether or not the Ark needed a fire sprinkler� system and floatation devices.� � Then my neighbor objected, claiming I was violating� zoning ordinances by building the Ark in my front� yard, so I had to get a variance from the city� planning commission.� � I had problems getting enough wood for the Ark,� because there was a ban on cutting trees to protect� the Spotted Owl. I finally convinced the U.S. Forest� Service that I needed the wood to save the owls.� � However, the Fish and Wildlife Service won't let me� catch any owls.� So, no owls.� � The carpenters formed a union and went out on strike.� I had to negotiate a settlement with the National� Labor Union. Now I have 16 carpenters on the Ark, but� still no owls.� � When I started rounding up the other animals, I got� sued by an animal rights group. They objected to me� only taking two of each kind aboard.� � Just when I got the suit dismissed, the EPA notified� me that I could not complete the Ark without filing an� environmental impact statement on your proposed flood.� They didn't take very kindly to the idea that they� had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of� the universe.� � Then the Army Corps of Engineers demanded a map of the� proposed new flood plain. I sent them a globe.� � Right now, I am trying to resolve a complaint filed� with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission that� I am practicing discrimination by not taking godless,� unbelieving people aboard!� � The IRS has seized all my assets, claiming that I'm� building the Ark in preparation to flee the country to� avoid paying taxes.� � I just got a notice from the state that I owe some� kind of user tax and failed to register the Ark as a� recreational water craft."� � Finally the ACLU got the courts to issue an injunction� against further construction of the Ark, saying that� since God is flooding the earth, it is a religious� event, therefore unconstitutional.� � I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another� 5 or 6 years!" Noah wailed.� � The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine and the� seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky.� Noah looked up hopefully.� � You mean you are not going to destroy the earth,� Lord?"� � "No," said the Lord sadly. "The government already� has." " -- GOD. "If the world was all kissy/feely, sure we'd be better off. But there's bad people out there and they have to be dealt with sooner or later - sooner is better I think. We need tree huggers and peaceniks because I trust no one to have absolute power but until the bad guy get good, which is unlikely as me becoming a Saint, they have to be stopped. No war is good but sometimes it's necessary." -- Just A Guy. "I agree with R Bennett, JAG and Terrence Garcia ... in a perfect world there would be no wars, but we do not live in a perfect world and unfortunately, we HAVE to deal with reality. That is unless you prefer to stick your head in the sand and let your butt get blown to hell!!! I hate that innocent people die in wars, I hate that bad people do often prevail, but it is our job, along with the international community, to try to keep the peace, and as long as people like Saddam are in power, there can be no lasting peace. Any man who uses chemical weapons on his own people, any man who lives in obscene luxury while his people starve and live in abject poverty, is a hideous miscreant and needs to be removed from his privileged seat of power. I, personally, would prefer a covert assassination to war, but hey, I don't run this country, do I? And since I don't, I WILL support our president's policy in Iraq and anywhere else this VERY REAL threat rears its ugly head ... " -- Judith. "I think there are to many ignorant americans leaving replys to good poetry" -- Hx. "Their ignorance is their bliss. Let them have it." -- Brian. "right on.i dont think that stuart is so ignorant as to believe that iraq holds no weapons, but as a piece of work it is having the desired effect,(ie) we are all giving our opinions,(some more heated than others i feel) does the fact that only our american cousins are getting hot under the collar tell us something? draw your own conclusions.one love " -- rimm, london, england. "Tony Blair isn't American and neither are people in Turkey or Israel." -- Terrance . "I wish everyone would shut up and listen to each other rather than trying to start an argument about every damn thing. Thats why no one can get along. Every one thinks they are right and the other guy is wrong. Well guess where thats gonna get us?? IN FUCKING CLOUD OF SMOKE with only cock roaches left. Hmmmmmmmm mybe they'll rebuild this world and start their own government." -- Michelle. "A nuclear missile cannot reach mainland US unless it's fired from North, Central or South America. You don't need to worry Michelle. The smoke and cockroaches won't be within our borders. When it's all said and done, the only people who have enough power and are insane enough to use nukes are in North Korea and/or Israel. China, Russia, the US and others are too smart to ever use them." -- Nikolai Khabibulin. "you will see very soon who are the real terrorists and what so called leaders really have in store for the earth,saddam was spared last war and now he works for the real agenda.bush senior has been in buisness with the bin ladens for over 20 years.too many people live in a dream.oh must go the second part of the soap operas starting.wake up" -- horseboy, shamballa. "the piece itself wasn't bad...this, however, is ridiculous. i'm not saying i don't agree with many of the things that have been said here...but the forum's not politics but poetry...isn't it?" -- pearl. "Unfortunatly Most of you don't seem to try to get an outer perspective on anything...Hussain may not be a great leader but our american fellows arn't too good either... The war that has supposely not started yet... Since march of last year..124 tonnes of bombs have been dropped over Iraq... America has paid Turkey 6 billion us worth of weapons so they keep good look over the gulf for them in exchange they clear the way for turkish bombers to bomb their Kurdish minority because they feel it would destabalise the country wich they really need to keep track of their oil.... Resolution 688 referring the the no fly zone over Iraq that we hear so often doesn't even exist in any documents of the UN... This war is not about terrorism it is about money control... Globalisation they want, control of population they already have over most it seems... America china and russia would not dare to use the nuclear device...I would like to remind you of Hiroshima and nagasaki.... Most times the USA are the ones selling weapons to the wars of others...After selling to both sides, those countries(or whatever protagonist in case of a civil war) owe ridiculus amouts of money to them so they happily walk away... Unfortunatly they don't talk about that on the televison...control of media is their biggest weapon check out the facts for yourself get out of your country and see what america has done to the world... " -- Matt, Quebec, Canada. "The piece of work itself is not bad at all,its just the ignorance which is thrown at it.In the first Gulf war the idea was to knock out Saddams war machine was it not?Well then how come not one scudd launch pad was destroyed? not one.You will find out that our great land of the free and just is a Masonic founded state,built on the worship of the black god lucifer.look on our dollar bill,what does that mean?does anyone really know,many do but they are looked at as if they should be put away.This is about total world domination,there is no such thing as countries anymore,as Bush senior said,this is one big idea,a new world order,religion has never been the cause of war ,it was just the MAN-ufactured form of control to turn humans against each other so they are easier to control.Wake up people the reason our world is so dark and invested with child abuse ,is that our planet is run by satanists.What is the real symbolism of the pentagon?by the way i no longer live in the movie the world calls America." -- Texas Tom, Land of the free. "Semper Fi! Semper Fi! Semper Fi!" -- USMC01. "i agree with everyone. See that was easy, try it!! It's called getting along. Anyway enough of that dream.. My views are to express the concern of this war in another fashion. So we went to war with iraq because of their nuclear weapons? sure that's a good reason to go to war with someone:Problem tho. they don't have any active WMD, any weapons they once had, have been destroyed by the very people that sold them. The scud- a powerful missile capable of killing hundred's, were used as protection against the iranian's in the 80's, but not used as protection against the US in the Gulf war?? Why?? Answer: the Patriot. Enuf said really. the patriot being 5 times more powerfull than the scud or there about's. So I guess what im trying to say is that terrorism has been triplicated by the action's of the USA and them alone. they sold them weapons that were, pardon the terminology, out of date,like old fruit or something. They could protect themselves from iran but not from the U.S. was Bush snr's attitude, errrr wrong bush and errrrrr wrong Bush Jnr as well. there is no-one in the world that is a threat to us, by us I mean The U.S.A. and Britain, sept 11th was a once off and will never be repeated again I can guarantee. Off course the countries that we arm first pose a minor threat, but in terms of full scale war there is not a challenge to be scared off, unless the whole world turns against us, which would not fit into Bush or Blair's plan, One day you will see McDonald's restaurant's and Hard Rock cafe's in Iraq, that is what this war is all about, to influence the world and make them stupid so the government can do as they plaese with the money we earn. Why can't I disagree with taxes? Why? If I don't work then I get less money, but if i work I pay more taxes? There are resources for this war that fire into the billions, what would they need 6 billion $� for? More nuclear weapons, no! perhaps to rebuild iraq and make it the model of the future with cinema's, Burger king's and Starbucks etc etc, look at Russia!!!!! Anyway we should not be fighting each other we should stand united and fight the brown fisting whore that is our Government's , whether u believe in god or not, it is our God given right to be heard, We are not the silent voice in the crowd, every 1 of us have the right to stand against oppression and fight decisions that cost us The TAXPAYER our livelhoods." -- Buxton. Freeky by Judith Goff (20) "Judith This makes for some great song lyrics! I can see heavy metal group having fun with this one! Great Job! " -- Monte. "Monte, Great to see you back reviewing me !!!! Thank you !!! Ya know, this COULD make a pretty good metal song, maybe Metallica? ... hmmm" -- Judith. "Judith Oh! Yea! Definitely!!! This piece would definitely rock and kick ass!" -- Monte. "Oh Monte ... you flatter me overmuch, Sir .... thank you (:o)" -- Judith. "Very interesting!! I like the idea of putting this to heavy metal music!" -- JM. "Judith; Forgot to mention that all this piece needs is a hook for the Chorus! Perhaps something like "Call me Freaky, Call me Cheeky, Call me anything but Meeky and I'll be your lovin Girl! Or something along those lines! Every good song needs a hook, and a hook on this piece would really rock the house!!!" -- Monte. "Thanks, JM !!" -- Judith. "Gee Monte, never really thought of this as a song until you !!! I'll work on a chorus and post it soon!!! Thanx" -- Judith. "Sounds remarkably like a guys fantasy, ain't imagination grand." -- Just A Guy. "Metallica? No way. I would think it would be closer to something like Korn or NIN. I could also see Slipknot or maybe PIG doing it. It seems as though you have been influenced by "Six" just a bit. " -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "I'll take that as a compliment, JAG !!!" -- Judith. "I could see NIN with this, you're right, R Bennett. Do you really think this is like Six, if so, I take that as a compliment. Your work does seem to inspire me to take off in different directions than I normally might." -- Judith. "VERY VERY IMPRESSIVE. But not surprising from such a talented poet :) And yes this would make great song lyrics. Too good for Korn or NIN ... my band maybe ;) Really great work, hun!" -- Dennis Kanan. "Dennis ... you leave me without words ... thanks" -- Judith. "Nothing is too good for NIN. Bite your tongue sir." -- R. Bennett. "awesome! this is amazing, i wish i had thought of it! :) (kind of reminds me of NIN's "Eraser" ... and yes, nothing is too good for them, mr. kanan!) " -- Rae. "Rae, thank you, this one seems to have struck a chord(no pun intended)with a lot of people !!!" -- Judith. "No pun intended my (_|_)" -- R. Bennett . "Gee, R Bennett ... how creative (:OP" -- Judith. "Why oh why haven't I read this one sooner!? I loved it Judith, and it does fit the metal song bill perfectly! I would love to be tied up and read that to my lover or vice versa!!!" -- Reagan Rothe, H-Town, TX. Flow by Peter Rivendell (1) "I prefer the shadows. Perhaps you might enjoy some of my work." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Expedition by Peter Rivendell (1) "OOOOOOO, aren't we the social analyst here. Very nice. Not everyone can see the decay in such a beautiful way, and so much beauty in decay." -- Sylvia. Evil by Judith Goff (10) "Great stuff Judith!! I think I know that guy (LOL)! Sissy rock will not do here. It must be metal!!" -- JM. "A song with chorus and hook Judith! You must be getting serious about this lyric thing, which is cool cause you are more than just good at it! Keep cranking them out! " -- Monte. "Can I refrain from comment this time?" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Guess that says it all, R Bennett" -- Judith. "Sorry. :-(" -- R. Bennett . "Love the line "To you I�m just a heart to break"...but I think "I was your clown" is an Elton John line if I'm not mistaken. lol" -- Michelle. "Can't win 'em all, R Bennett" -- Judith. "Thanks, JM ... guess we've all known a few of those!!!" -- Judith. "Thank you, Monte ... guess this one doesn't do it for everyone though " -- Judith. "Michelle, thanks again, and I'm sure that particular line has been in many songs as well (:o)" -- Judith. Descent To Hell by Judith Goff (15) "Wow Judith! This is pretty wicked stuff, while well written it could lead young one's too far astray, lyrics like this would be hard to market because of the liability factor!" -- Monte. "Monte, keep in mind this was written for a vampire book I've been working on, never planned to market it, just wanted some reactions here ... guess I got what I wished for, huh? Actually, it seems more of a cautionary message to me; suicide damns you forever, no? ... Thanks for the review, as always it is much appreciated !!" -- Judith. "All you need now is to get the band Disturbed to record it for you." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Very, very dark but I like it! Great idea too R. Bennett. I love Disturbed! Go figure." -- JM. "Wouldn't that be nice, R Bennett" -- Judith. "Thanks, JM. Have you started on Amarantos yet??? Just curious !" -- Judith. "I am starting on it tonight as a matter of fact. I'm sorry I didn't get to it sooner. " -- JM. "this is excellent!" -- Rae. "Rae, I'm happy you are enjoying my work, you may want to check out some of the others!!!" -- Judith. "I have been reading your other works lately... it's all very impressive, you've got a lot of talent! :)" -- Rae. "Thank you, Rae ... it's great to get a fresh perspective on my work!!" -- Judith. "Im really into your work be it songs or poetry,you have that deep edge which i try to put into pieces of my own . I have only started putting pen to paper last year and have no past of writing im just trying to put across a message,of the real side to life from what ive experienced and seen.Thanks ,your writing is big inspiration (plus i gotta sort out my spelling)C ya.Stuuuu." -- Stuart Eric Longridge. "Thank you so very much, Stuart ... It's nice to be someone's inspiration! Keep writing and working to accomplish your goals. As for the spelling thing, I use Word to create my work, then use spell-check before I copy and paste to the site, we all make mistakes; just a hint!" -- Judith. "hi Judith. Ave been trying to get in touch for ages. How are you. Tolu Ogunlesi [email protected] " -- tolu ogunlesi, nigeria. "His guts and actions are uncommon in this part of the sea, I mean the poetry circle. His own guts emerge like the stones thrown at the chains of reactions. A threnody sung only in the public, flashes light on the wall gecko as it transcends the beauty of the poetry. Structures and embodiments of knowledge fill the trends of this Nigerian poet�s collection of poetry which cripples the legs of the reader. This poet whose eyes seem to get deepened into the blood of Geoffrey Chaucer is unmistakably, an acknowledged reality. When you look at his placid and serene face that glazes with laughter, you�d know that he is really a wicked poet: I mean that he is that poet who doesn�t give poetry a puny chance to choose a poet. Tolulope Gbenga Ogunlesi has crumbled on the spirit and dance of poetry as he is taken to the 3 Paradoxist Manifesto, that �I am not a poet, that�s why I write poetry�. The Nigerian young poet, who writes in English, has found a centrality in the development of modern poetry in the world. He is really an engaging light for the poetry society. This wicked poet landed on the lagoon of poetry with a collection which bridles the mind, by savouring the reading public with nearly 90 poems in a first collection, which shows that he has gone to the depth of poetry journey, but I wonder why he was never lost in a romantic journey as he sojourns in his wonderful collection of poetry. He comes out with another overflowing method as he rumbles on the pattern of passionate poets, who do not write out of the boundaries of poetry. It can also be said that the Scottish born-never-ending Nigerian based writer grapples the reflections of human knowledge to the fact he wonders in I KEEP WONDERING, where He�s like those black ants That crawl looking for a way Into your soul. That is how he tickles Me and at the same time Gets on my unsteady nerves� He annoys the reader, as he shivers on his �wall� and its �unsure� matters, which could make the reader smoothly scratch a head as to its complexity, but the beauty of the poetry comes out in the realms as he falls on the soliloquy: How long my walls�ll stand is what I�m unsure of. They told me I�m A wall, not a gate or a door The blood of romantic poetry comes to flow in his veins as he captures the geckos that �trapped� the cover page of the book. It spills more of the romantic words into my eyes as She and me share the space On the balcony, eyeing the world from outside Like baby geckos trapped in a busy bathtub He avoids being lost in a romantic journey, and touches the mind of the reader as he stumbles on BUSHFIRES. Tolu is a rare torch of light and inspiration to poetry in general. In a few words, Judith R. Goff said that she believes that the poet has a bright future ahead of him�and that is unequivocal, then with him following his muse, that she believes he must, because rejecting such a gift could anger the gods� but who could tell him that He is a bushfire Racing through surrendered territory He comes up again with his bright-eyed part of poetry and creates impression of pigeon-hole taxonomy, that POETRY IS NEVER HELPLESS, when he crosses the vicarious experiences of poetry, as the cherubic shadows smoothly glowed through that A poetic infidel is better than one Who couldn�t draw circles with The bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle Hopefully, he escaped the wondering on writing with great passion about subjects, but fell into the object part which has no socially-redeeming qualities� but I can tell you with no promise-fail that this generation of poets are blooming and shall never fall like Idi Dada Amin, who is now wandering in the mirage of the shores of hell. Tolulope Gbenga Ogunlesi, has really delivered his world of poetry from a torrential beat from the international audience. " -- Onyeka George Nwelue, Lagos, Lagos, Nigeria. Crop Crap by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Very interesting!" -- Paige Davis. "You are getting better and even very good..." -- Matt And Bridget. Creation Copyright by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "my gosh, this peice really didnt do anything! this was the most horrible poetry i have ever seen! i just cant get over how good that you think you are. if anything you shouldnt be able to critique anyone elses writings. you should be band for this crap.--love, richard" -- Richard, RIchardson, Tenn. "Dont worry my little friend,its ok if you cant stretch your tiny mind to understand some of my stuff,im not trying to write a masterpiece,im just enjoying life,try it its great." -- Stu , Belfast. Children Of The Night by David B Doc Byron (3) "You lose some of the flow with the extra long lines that don't match syllabically and the word "dark" appears frequently. Maybe you can substitute a few of the 'dark' words and shorten those extra long lines or match them and make it more effective? By the way, have you checked out "Blood Game" yet?" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Yea Doc I like this piece alot but RB has a good point...flow needs work. And maybe use "sinister or wickedness or iniquity" instead of darkness. Good work though makes me wanna do another vamp piece hehe " -- Michelle. "I like your work.Maybe take out �as the� and replace �darkness� in line 10; Take out �Now the� in 11, little things like that. I think just taking out a couple of fill words would do it. I have a bad habit of adding extra words in my stuff. I get to spend a lot of time deleting." -- Sylvia. Cave Man Monkey Stinker by Stuart Eric Longridge (5) "This post proves we've evolved from lower beings, like the author of this piece of scheiss!" -- Joe Millionaire. "couldn't have said it better myself" -- Nic. "I cant believe these two above me still think we evolved according to Darwin.I bet you are covered in hair.Does anyone know what Eloheem really means?I do.Nice work a bit crazy,but funny." -- Texas Tom, Land of the free. "away and dirt, ya filthy primate licker" -- bobbyshanks, oz. "who would win in a fight a caveman monkey stinker or a small bear with a gammy arm wearing roller skates " -- Prince fillett, umbongo. Book Of The Dead by David B Doc Byron (6) "Nice. I like it. One thing: "corpses" is possessive and needs an apostrophe. :-)" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Good job - made me shiver." -- Just A Guy. "Hey Doc! Is the last line a play on words? Written "red" meaning "read"?" -- Michelle. "Maybe Michelle, but in line two he refers to the pages 'dripping red.'" -- R. Bennett. "Doc, this is good, I liked the "red" references especially, and of course, when opened, we ARE all blood-red!!!!!" -- Judith. "awesome...damn ur good" -- sunny, washington, dc, usa. Blue Jean Kangaroo by Michael Allen Rosendo (3) "I'm impressed." -- Paige Davis. "Thank-you, paige." -- Michael Rosendo, Fullerton, CA, US. "This poem is so good that i peed my pants!" -- Danny. Blind Faith by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Do you think a religious person could get to the end reading this?I nearly couldnt,a full blow to the midsection.Aarh!And they`re down." -- Texas Tom, Land of the free. "Yes, I read this to the end! What a runonsentence. But, the thought behind the writing is powerful! We must question everything. Religion,Life,Birth,Death,etc...when we finally come to the end of all of this within ourselves, we do find the Perfect Meaning to it All! " -- C.L. Mareydt. Art Thou Art? by Mia Angello (5) "Mia, I totally relate to this piece ... excellent!!" -- Judith. "Those damn acquaintances strike again. Damn them. Good stuff Mia." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Mia, Short, Honest and Powerful!" -- Monte. "Darlin', you just need to find another appetizer. Real touching this is. " -- Just A Guy. "says it all with 6 lines..." -- Michelle. Adventure Playground by Peter Rivendell (3) "First, let me tell you something on a personal level. I think it is horrible that I come here to look at your work, and there are so few reviews here. I don't claim to be a great poet, but there are a few simple things people could have suggested that would make your work so much better than it is. After our message board chat, I thought I would see what people had said, and what a greater variety of your work looked like. I think you should know, I plan to post this message, (so it can be deleted) then read what you have posted here. If my reviews help, great, but I don't blame you for having been upset. You have more talent than that." -- Sylvia. ""Waiting for an echo of old dreams." You mixed single and plural. "Waiting for echos of old dreams." works a little better. "Imaginations strain, black trees block our way." enter after the comma. Reads a little better. (like the visual on this line by the way!) The last stanza, very nice. When you group double lines, try and do it that way, rather than just one in a group of singles. I don't know if you intended a particular conflict of self, but I read it as my own. Regardless it was consistant in it's tension, therefore it was effective. Not my particular style, but I did like this one." -- Sylvia. "Good poem, couldn't quite understand it, but hey, it is better than mine! Thanks for your opinion, I'm working on my rhyming!" -- Joshua Ortiz. 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