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Poetry - Reviews |
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Short Stories - Reviews |
Time Is Like A Clock by Shelley J Alongi (1) "A poem of imagination with a practical wisdom" -- Nadeem Akhtar, Pakistan. Absolute Time by Michelle Worswick (2) "I really like this one. The way it jumps around really gives a feeling of omnipresence. Will you marry me?" -- Jesse weinberg. "Hey, who are you Michelle Worswick? Im Jesse Weinberg" -- Jesse Weinberg. Silk Sea by Michelle Worswick (1) "Wow. I hope you and that boy are always near" -- Fizzgig Mcarthur. The Locks by Michelle Worswick (1) "I love your imagery and expression." -- Fy, Wollongong, N.S.W, Australia. Tomorrows by Arthur Henry Isaacson (1) "i like your style of writing, especially on new york 91101. i'm curious as to how old you are." -- kirsten. Roses And Us by Zohaib Siddiqui (1) "roses �r us" -- iseldar kay. Psalm by Ashley Burdett (2) "This is a really sad peom. I think your style is really unique and Hope to read more of your peoms. I'm a little confused about it though. I would like to know more about the meaning if you want to write me back about it. " -- Katie Knickrehm. "you never showed me this one! personally, ashie, i like this one the best out of all of them you've written!" -- sisterbear. Place by Fizzgig McArthur (1) "Hmm...thought provoking. Again, I like the flow of the rhythm." -- Tami Lynn, Evanston, IL, USA. Passion Reborn by Alberto Pupo (1) "wonderful...." -- Alison, Miami, FL, USA. Once Blinded by Kathrine Knickrehm (1) "Your poem is really great! It shows true spiritual growth! :) You should definately keep writing! :) As for what you asked me about mine, my poem is just about someone who realizes that suffering the only way to eternal happiness. Because like Jesus suffereed we too must suffer the same way as him." -- Ashley Burdett. Mary-Lou by Woodside (1) "Tiny and deep, like a stirring straw. I like it." -- Amanda. Lowest Low. by Iain Spittles (4) "Bigger than your ego? I don't understand, your poem makes you a sub human shell filled with nothing. Is this a religious induced attitude? I'm curious" -- Woodside. "very well written but u might consider losing the periods at the end of each sentence b/c it draws too much attention from what you're trying to say..." -- michelle. "I agree with every word you say in this poem,monkeyboy." -- Dave. "Dave, having read your other comments, it seems you have taken a disliking to me and/or everything I write, I'm intrigued. Please, if you have posted any work here, let me know your full name, so that I might see what makes you so special, and me so bad in your eyes. Don't worry, I have no intention of starting a tit-for tat slander war, I'll leave the unpleasant comments to you. I'd just like to know a bit more about you. Otherwise feel free to email me personally at the above address, and we can discuss things personally. Thanks. " -- Iain Spittles. Gravity Amateurs Image 15 by Martin De Leon (1) "Having read several of your pieces, I can only say how impressed I am by what you've done. The style of stylelessness. You incorporate Dadaism into print; waveform into word. I'm jealous in a way -everytime I try to write this way, I end up embarrassed by what I've produced and end up throwing it away. You've got the balls to put it out there; keep showing 'em." -- AJ Magy, Sfld, MI, US. Dis-Appointment by Pepijn Sauer (1) "Nice, I wish I'd written that." -- Iain Spittles. Cook Out, Everybody! by Scott W. Hazzard (3) "Oh, shut up! What are you talking about? So what, the modern idea of the hero as either a firm, self-righteous belief that your life will get you into heaven or a venture into knowingly pathetic downfall into Hell complete with self-pity. You didn't say that, did you? No, you just wrote dumb stuff, instead. And so what if the wrong idea of heroics is the cause of all our needless mundane sacrifces? It's not your probably. You sacrifice your talent everyday to sleep and peace. You're an idiot. I hate your poetry. You never think things through. When are you going to wake up and realize you had your chance and you chose booze and cigarettes. Shouldn't you be getting back to those? Well? And at least check your spelling before you take another dumb on the screen and post it on this site. " -- Hazzard. "Way to change the rhyme scheme mid-poem. If you're not going to bother with forcing rhyme later on, don't do it in the beginning. This will also allow for the poem to make more sense." -- Bennett. "I liked conventional poetry. What about John Donne? Where are the metaphysics here? What's wrong with this upstart? What's wrong with his lack of form? Change in rhyme scheme? He should be shot dead, then brought back to life, then spit upon and burned to stake, along with Walt Whitman, Ezra Pound, and whoever that Larkin brat is. I hate him. I love iams, I just love to love my iams. : )" -- Cliff the Prude. Beauty Of Grey by Woodside (1) "One of the most enjoyable peices I've read on here, Short and sweet, with a nice point, bravo!." -- Iain Spittles. An Expression Of Grief by Linoa Ameagari (2) "Great work, L-chan! It makes me want to cry! " -- ChocolateChipMuffin. "now don't get me wrong, what happened was a tragedy, but perhaps you should go and educate yourself in the way in which capitalism operates and its subsequent rape of small countries around the world...then maybe you'll write poems for them. Your style is quite stretching, which is good, however I personally think that as a poet you have a duty towards the truth, not towards a �false consciousness� pulled over your eyes by capitalism. I am not condoning in any way the atrocities of sept 11, just pointing out that capitalism reaps upon you what it sows for itself. " -- Bruce. Thud by Vianne-Marie Fortier (1) "splat. :)" -- me :). The Well Wrought Gate, A Collection by Duane Locke (1) "Some great lines. Your "Jordon" poem is by far the best work in here. It takes a strong stance, gives great examples, while having some valuable sound quality. I can relate to it, and it made me chuckle a bit. I think when you reveal a motivation, an opinion, or any definite tendency behind the voice of a poem, it only makes things better. When you reveal the source of the words, paint the pictures behind that moment or thought, that made it all inevitable, that's when you seem to get your best stuff. The thin stuff might be when you use uninteresting words and concepts like "roses" that's been done over and over, you'd have to pour concrete on it and dance the rumba on top in order to get anything new out of it." -- Hazzard. Rain (Is What This Poem Would Have Been Called) by Fizzgig McArthur (3) "i think it is nice. you are getting better and better" -- erin. "This piece has a great flow to it. It's absolutely beautiful." -- Michelle Weinberg. "I like it. This is a good one. I have felt the same way.... Some of the lines sounded like my own poetry. Runs in the family?" -- Lindsay Weinberg. Hand by Andrew Mornahr (1) "I like the play. Add a line or two between "eyes grazing" and "inside catacombs" -- too disjoined so early in the piece to go from the vision of a field to the dark, earthy catacombs. " -- Carl Ubershue, AL, USA. Before Me... by Alberto Pupo (1) "I loved all your poems. Especialy this one. Good grammar and no typos this time. Nice vocabulary.Keep it up." -- Alison, miami, FL. Baby's Mr. Pearl by Scott W. Hazzard (1) "Yeah, this is great. : (" -- Scott Hazzard. 01 The Shadow Of Static by Martin De Leon (1) "You remind me of the Escher fever, that impulse to organize the cahos of REALITY- PERCEPTION- ANALYSIS- MEMORY . you do it quite beautifully, the way you articulate deferent languages- Linguistic,Psychology , Phisics and Mathmatical technical language." -- Jorge Freire. You Must Realize by Michelle Worswick (1) "Holy crap....this sucks. Dang, why didn't anyone tell me? haha" -- Michelle Worswick, Topeka, KS, USA. Wherever by Peter Elvern People (1) "The language is easy to grasp. The metaphors are not tangled. I like that. If it's about a specific situation, it'd be nice to know it a little better. If you're trying to show your reader something in specific, then you might stand to narrow your focus to a single emotion or thought. " -- Hazzard, PB, NY. The Same by Michelle Worswick (2) "Very good, flowed well. I liked it." -- Susie Hicks, Athens, Georiga, USA. "Please review and critique my poems, I would like to grow as a writer." -- Authors Comments. The Frustrated Author by Iain Spittles (1) "Hmm...Something is missing here. I think you should say more about that idea you have, more about why is it so important to you, what's so strong about it that you wish to share it with us." -- Ivana. The Blooming by Michelle Worswick (1) "Your poems flow so beautifully, and they possess so much emotion. They evoke such emotion within myself as well." -- Brandon . Staring At Me by Peter Elvern People (1) "The Kurt Cobain thing was rough for a lot of us. I think it's a good topic to talk about, since a lot of older people downplay the importance of his message and his music. Keep in mind that he was a distanced, often ambiguous lyricist. So, you might want to take more chances when you write. You're developing some song-like rhythm, and that's good, but you might want to say some gruff things, state an opinion not everyone would agree with, address those who think he was just a worthless druggie loser. Tell them how you feel. Someone has to, because if I hear another person over the age of thirty mutter and then roll their eyes whenever MTV mentions his impact, I'm gonna be sick. " -- Hazzard, PB, NY. She's Got Beef. by Iain Spittles (5) "When I read this, I was shocked, how could anything be so bad? When I saw that I had written it I ran out into the road hoping to end it all then, but it was 4am, the roads were dead. Finally in a fit of utter self-hatred, I jumped from the roof of my house. I now have a broken ankle, and I hate myself even more for lacking the competence to do myself in. Will someone come round and put a bullet in my head before I pollute this site further with the festering shit i write, please?" -- Iain Spittles. "Oh, God... will you wake up? Killing yourself won't change a thing. Sure, you'll be dead, but hell, people die everyday. Do you want everyone to go, "Oh, another person couldn't deal with it. What is it with them, anyway?" You write fine. Writing doesn't have to be about pretty epethets or any of that shit... as long as it's pure emotion, that the author is feeling, it will never be bull shit. But remember, unharnessed emotions will forever run outside your control. Keep writing. You're too hard on yourself." -- Bb2B3. "This is why every poet could do with a side-project band: all the stuff that says a little something, captured a few moments of your time but in the final analysis is crap, can be used with music. The voice then adds the emotion that the poem on paper doesn't convey." -- Carl Ubershue. "You had the right idea in the first place. You should try it at 4pm, not am." -- Richard, OH. "The first review was a joke people. Thanks Richard : )" -- Iain Spittles. Ode To Mr. T by Iain Spittles (2) "Go to www.x-entertainment.com . You deserve it." -- Hazzard. "LOL----Ive read most of your stuff, and think your quite talented..really!! Duth thy poison quench thy taste budulars?" -- Buxton. No Title As Yet by Iain Spittles (6) "Okay, I.S. I'm a little confused by this piece. It starts out rhyming a bit. Then, you end up with this conversational everyday situation, but the lines between thought and speech get a little blurred, and it's hard to catch the sarcasm that I think was intending in this piece. I like conversational tone. It lets you give a real voice to your work. Some specifics, some descriptive words, would help to illustrate the situation Mr. Jones is dealing with. Where he is? What he's doing? Why he's unhappy? This poem has a great premise, and an excellent idea behind it. You could stand to imagine it a little deeper, come up with some fun details, about maybe the sound of the music or the scratchiness of his beard against the telephone receiver, and this thing will pop out real nice. KABANG" -- Hazzard. "I see how it could be confusing, origionaly the thoughts were in italics, but when i pasted it on to the submission form they went." -- Iain Spittles. "I think this piece is all about voices. The author playing roles. However, the spelling errors in first few lines threaten all hopes of continuity." -- Carl Ubershue, AL, USA. "i liked the style, however i think ur over dramatizing a trivial situation. one could carry off a piece of this kind but it would require more skill and detail than shown here. throw away the 1st para, then go with the flow of the rest of the poem/story adding more detail. i think u've got the skill but ur not putting in the effort/pulling it from deep down." -- sunny, DC, USA. "The people on this website are to nice.I can't believe that everyone is trying to analyze this garbage.Don't waste your time just tell monkeyboy like it is-it sucks!" -- Dave. "Thanks Dave, that's really constructive, would you like to try telling me what you don't like about it? " -- Iain Spittles. Misery's Finest Hour by James R. Williams (1) "Wow, detailed depiction of a subject not many want to touch unless they've been there! Excellend immagery!" -- Shelley, Fullerton, Ca, USA. Love Is A ... by Travis Baker (4) "ahhhhhhhh!" -- Iain Spittles. "Yikes. I think love is dangerous. Someone can love their religion so much, they kill other people who don't accept it. People can love someone who doesn't love them, and then it can turn all sorts of bad. I'm not sure I like what's said in here, but your entitled to your own opinion. I'd say I'm more realistic than all this, and I wouldn't hold it up as a aim in my writing, but to be fair, you might be right, this might be really good stuff, and I might just be a bitter, mean jerk. But, on behalf of bitter mean jerks everywhere, I want to say this excludes a lot of people." -- Hazzard. "You must have experienced the same feelings I have when it comes to loving someone. Isn't it a wonderful feeling? Truly amazing. I feel sorry for Hazzard!!" -- mfjb, Aelaide, SA, Australia. "Tis lovely. " -- Avis, Mumbai, India. Lifeless by Peter Elvern People (1) "The best part about this is the fact that it could be about anyone. You have a lot of great lines, and you're starting to paint good images. "Point-blank against your soul," and "heart chewed" are great things, because they are yours. While, "ultimate leap" and "Escaped this worlds grasp" are things you might hear in a lot of poems that don't really stand out. It'd be cool, since Cobain was a relunctant pop-culture figure, to talk about how he fit into that whole thing, too. Good stuff. Bubye. " -- Hazzard. From Me by Peter Elvern People (1) "This is nasty shit, what the hell made you write it? I can't really see much relevance to anything, is it just about pain, or is there something I'm missing?" -- Iain Spittles. Falling In Love Again by Rosalyn Meadors (2) "Beautiful description of falling badly in love. Love which sometimes becomes a golden trap. Writer seems to be trapped so badly that she does not know what the next is....next is surely absurdity." -- Muhammad Nasrullah Khan, Bahawalpur, Pakistan, Punjab. "Sheer fucking brilliance. Apt, to the point and not at all as contrived as the "moon and june" shite that's passing for poetry these days. A triumph for a writer who doesnt believe in her own ability. A 6 because it still ain't Ginsberg." -- Matthew Carr, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. Change And Continuity by Iain Spittles (4) ""but did the worm?" - that's your great line. It sums something up. Why did you pick a worm? Is it because a worm can never fly? Do you mean to suggest that even the lowest things have dream the impossible? Do all things try to be what they're not, and never question what they are? This is good stuff. You could have said, "but did the larva" and then it's about dreaming of what will be. The whole "Don't they?" stuff is kind of messed, though. The poem doesn't have a firm point. It relies on the uncertain nature of the world to give it meaning in its own indecision. That's not much of an accomplishment. However, an attempt to tackle the complex nature of human ambition through as simply worded poem is quite the task. It's cool that you're working on it. Ask yourself more questions. You have the mind to answer them." -- Scott W. Hazzard, PB, NY. "Hey Scott,you're really getting interlectual with this guys idiotic poem.Why would the lowest form on the earth wonder if it could fly? Only a person with a low IQ would wonder what a worm thinks." -- Dave. "Dave, having read your other comments, it seems you have taken a disliking to me and/or everything I write, I'm intrigued. Please, if you have posted any work here, let me know your full name, so that I might see what makes you so special, and me so bad in your eyes. Don't worry, I have no intention of starting a tit-for tat slander war, I'll leave the unpleasant comments to you. I'd just like to know a bit more about you. Otherwise feel free to email me personally at the above address, and we can discuss things personally. Thanks. " -- Iain Spittles. "But I'd like to get a slander war going with Dave - I-N-T-E-L-L-E-C-T-U-A-L is how you should spell it! Wondering what a worm thinks shows amazing empathy, understanding....ahhh ok big words sorry Dave! The poem is about striving to become something against all odds but you sir are merely a potato!" -- Me. Autre by Michelle Worswick (3) "Great job. You really convey so many feelings. Beautiful. " -- Fizzgig Mcarthur, Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, Austrailia. ""I'm utterly speechless. Such raw emotion and feeling. I would love to meet the lucky lad who inspired this beautiful piece."" -- Dusty Shannon, Emporia, KS. "We never do. Breaking up should be permanent." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Are You Happy? by Scott W. Hazzard (4) "This poem says what a big smelly fart never could, but as always aspired to." -- Bob The Drunken Janitor. "You're too good for Storymania. Get out now." -- Bennett. "Scott Hazzard got kicked off Oneonta radio for telling a caller, "you make the baby Jesus cry" while he played the sound effect of a baby blatting. After that, he played the sound of a hand slapping and cut the baby sound, then said, "shut up! Stupid, loud kids!" Scott has no soul, you see. Thus, he'll never be allowed on Christian radio again. If you see this man, kick him in the balls." -- Scott Hazzard. "you are not persecuted, you're young; grow up." -- help. 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