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Short Stories - Reviews |
Porridge & Cucu: My Childhood by Yolanda Reid (1) "I liked the opening although I felt it could be condensed somewhat to pick up the pacing. The different ghosts and thier indivuaities could be elaborated on. I also liked the description of the child though I felt this could have come sooner in the story. Also, I felt there was some sort of transiton needed between the grandfater telling the ghost stories and the road trip. Otherwise, I found it quite intersting as I love to read ghost stories." -- wendy, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Chronicles Of Zefaria: The Plight Of The Free Peoples by Michael Harris (8) "I left a review on message board. " -- e. rocco caldwell. "Very interesting and enthralling series. Well written and can easily be turned into a novel when compiled." -- Joe Pena, USA. "Interesting and different." -- Michelle Scheponik. "Michael - you are a very accomplished and prolific author. It is going to take me some time to read your works - but I'm certainly looking forward to it. This story is so well oriented with terrific dialogue, which I think is so very important to develop the characters and plot. Well done Michael." -- Gregory Christiano. "Thank you so much for your review. It was much appreciated. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "Hello everyone. I just got a favorable rating for this piece and I was wondering why the rater didn't leave a review? While moving up in the rating rankings is nice, it would be much more helpful to me if I knew what worked and didn't work with this my first attempt at a fantasy novel. I have a lot of things that I will be injecting into a rewrite, things that I myself see that are wrong, but I certainly wouldn't mind seeing it all from a different viewpoint. Thanks in advance!" -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "Wow i can't believe your still at it. I love your stories Michael(Seth). I will be back to read more. " -- Wildcat, Waukegan, IL. "Hey, long time no see! Thanks for the review. I really appreciate it. Over the years though it's like I've started and stopped writing for long periods of time, and it's like I'm at that point of my life again. I don't think the Lord wants me to write at the very least until I get grounded in knowing the Bible (ie his Word) and then I could write Christian fiction. But by all means I invite you to go through and read more of my work. Take care." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. Fire In The Ice by Katlyn Stewart (3) "I read the excerpts on Ms. Stewart's web site for Nightmares Echo, and also for Fire in the Ice. Nightmares is a powerful book,keeps you on your toes and very well written. She doesn't miss much when it comes to the time line etc... Fire in the Ice is equally impressive, it is a Romance Novel filled with intrigue, and I truly enjoy the way the story reads. I also enjoy the way she writes the love scenes, making your imagination go into over drive rather than graphically writing it all down....very very good work...Mary" -- Mary Seiver, ohio, USA. "I read Fire in the ice...the excerpts and all the chapters she has posted. I really like this book and can not wait for it to be published. Very intrigueing and well as passionate. She also lets you get involved with the characters by making them come to life. Good writer...Julia" -- Julia Roberts. "it must be interesting" -- ahmet Gunayd�n, eskisehir, yunusemre, turkey. Avoutrie by Katlyn Stewart (2) "It's intriguing, but there are some grammatical and spelling errors (I'm an english tutor). I'd like to see what happens. How do I get to the rest of the story?" -- Crissy. "Its a nice story. But its not complete where can i get the complete story to read " -- Naseem, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India. Smith & Ronalds: The Murder Of The Prisoners by Patrick Collins (5) "Ok, Collins. Here follows another lengthy review. I hope you find this helpful. Have you read "The Massacre of Sierra Madre" by Kevin Myrick whose also on the site? I think you'd like them, them being a collection of stories. Also, have you ever considered adapting all of these stories for film? I'm sure it would be a very worthwhile experience. Note that the following missteps are things that can be overcome by just writing methodically. Slowly and methodically is the way to go in order to sidestep these issues. One quick problem I'll point out about this story is how it isn't in paragraph form. It would be much easier on the reader if you would put the story in paragraph form. Ok, here I go: "How bout we listed to some music?" That should be listen. "But it was better that waiting in the hot sun for a tow truck." That should read, 'But it was better than waiting...' "Do you need a ride to your house and/or were you are going at the moment?" That should read, 'Do you need a ride to your house and/or where are you going at the moment?" "Were would your house be?" That should read, 'Where would your house be?' "But David did not seem his usual Smart Allec self." That should read, 'Smart Alec self.' "The victim was a escaped murder convict!" That should read, 'The victim was an escaped murder convict!' "So were is this Silver Town place anyway?" That should read, 'So where is this Silver Town place anyway?' �Maybe they know were to find it.� That should read, 'Maybe they know where to find it.' "They followed her as she led them to the back of the building to find the body of Carmont Gureaunt. An infamous murderer." That should read, 'They followed her as she led them to the back of the building to find the body of Carmont Gureaunt, an infamous murderer.' Also, how is it that this infamous murderer isn't in jail? "Ounce he got there he noticed two people standing by the waters edge." That should read, 'Once he got there...' �Run another blood test, this time on this dude and these prints.� �You got it� �Dude�� This seems a little unrealistic, that a doctor would say the word 'dude.' �Same guy, and his blood to..." That should read, 'Same guy, and his blood too'. "He pulled in the parking lot of Hectors office in such a hurry that his tires put out an almost defining screech." I think you mean here, 'deafening screech'. �So, were is this crazy yakko?� That should read, 'So, where is this crazy yakko?' Question: How does the killer know where to find the other killers? If the police couldn't find them, then how does the killer know where to find them? �We can come back in the mourning and see Mr. Dragsman." That should read, 'We can come back in the morning...' �Let�s just stay all night in a parking lot.� He said. This is something that I've noticed you do a lot, you capitalize the 'he' in 'he said.' That's unnecessary as far as I know. I think the 'h' is supposed to be lowercased. "All the sudden, the man in the ski mask turned into a man with a slightly bald head really close to him shaking him by the shoulders." That should read, 'All of a sudden...' �I have been working at The Star for the �Indianapolis Star� for six years, and yet I have yet to hear of something this creative!" Either 'The Star' or the 'Indianapolis Star' need to be deleted in this sentence. "He hung up and went our to his car." That should read, 'He hung up and went out to his car.' �Is this you friends car?� That should read, 'Is this your friends car?' �Yeah, Dr. Stone, why didn�t you notice? it�s so obvious!" That should read, 'It's so obvious!" "After a group of people finished wiring him, every thing was ready." That should read, 'everything was ready.' "The blood is nether neither yours nor his." Delete one of the neithers. "Both stopped at a special area were the prints could fade away!" Here again you used 'were' instead of 'where.' "Then, with out warning, the person in front turned around and fired a dart at Trevor." That should read, 'Then, without warning...' "He began feel sleepy." That should read, 'He began to feel sleepy...' "After hours of running, David finally was able to get help." This seems a little unrealistic, in that David would be able to run for hours looking for help. Maybe he could run for say thirty minutes or so. Also, I'm interested in something: is there really such a thing as Quakeko? Or is it the product of your imagination? "Later the doctor met him out side again." That should read, 'Later the doctor met him outside again.' "After a while they stuck gold." That should read, 'they struck gold.' "When he got there he went strait to Trevor�s room." That should read, 'he went straight to Trevor's room.' "But like David here said, don�t get to exited.� That should read, 'too excited.' "they stood there for a while talking about what to do the next morning." The 't' in 'they' should be capitalized. "it had all been a horrible nightmar." That should read, 'nightmare.' "and sitting next to her, tied up (and in a Quakeko induced Coma) where Bob Dickson..." That should read, 'were Bob Dickson.' "When they where on the top..." That should read, 'When they were on the top...' "She then checked their close for weapons. nothing." That should read, 'She then checked their clothes for weapons...' "They looked down, the almost immediately, they where sick at there stomachs." That should read, 'They looked down, almost immediately...' "Their hands where full, each has a tall object," That should read, 'their hands were full, each had a tall object...' "David, ounce again could not find the words to say," That should read, 'David, once again...' "but then after a while. He finally spoke." That should be one complete sentence. There shouldn't be a period after the word 'while.'" -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "I forgot to point out earlier how much I enjoyed this story. It flowed exceptionally well throughout. The dialogue was excellent and the plot was brilliantly handled. You certainly have a flair for writing. If you like, I'd love to know what you thought of my short story entitled "The Deluded Youth". Until our next meeting then, keep up the magnificence." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "One last thing: It seems to me that the confrontation with Anne should last longer before she attempts to kill them. It would be nice for the detectives to be able to probe her mind a little. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "Hello once again, Collins. I just saw a preview of a movie that had a storyline similar to this one. It's called Suspect Zero and its about murderer who murders other murderers. Just thought I'd mention it. Take care." -- Michael Harris, Detroit. "Thank you so much! This is the most positive review I have ever gotten! To answer a few questions: no, Quakeko is completley made up! He-he, The name was even made up, dosen't originaet with anything, no language or anything. Thats actually my trademark is making last names and names for animals and plants up. For example, Spearsmith, Caoch John's last name in Significance (and Kristens in the second draft) was completley made up, I just thought it sounded cool. Also, it's funny that you mentioned the movie version thing cause thats how the whole series was started. Here goes (this is going to be long): I was about 10 and came up with the story for a movie called 'Running out of Air" about a cop named Trevor E. Smith and his partner Dave Roberts (now ronalds). Trevor's identity was stolen out of revenge for foiling a techno madman named Steve Gronic's plan. So they have to go to his secret fortress in the Redwoods to prove that Trevor really is a cop. Well, I wrote a hand writted script for it, and was going to make a home made movie of it. So I thought I would write the backstory of the characters first. So I began to write a book called "The Adventures of Smith & Ronalds: The Killer Killer". I changed Dave Roberts to David Ronalds (a made up surname BTW), and their best friend from the script, Jason Johnson, was completley cut and replaced by a new character, Hector Stone. Eventually I forgot the movie, and the book took on a life of their own. New characters cam (such as Carrie B. Moss). Shortly after I posted the first three SR volumes, I began to toy with a Smith & Ronalds script again, so I began to write "BPD: Running out of Air". It is currently about half done. It is set after my books end. It has changed alot since my first handwritten script when I was 10, it is now much more complex and less corny. After the fourth book, I changed the series title to BPD, because other characters come into play and are just as important as the rest. The next volume, called "BPD: Danger Rising" is about half done and should be finished soon. Thanks for yor review." -- collins, in, in, us. Smith & Ronalds: A Time Of Change by Patrick Collins (5) "I'm a bit confused as to the tension between carrie and smith. It wasn't dealt with as to why they dislike one another or why she's such a problem in the station. I liked the interaction between the police officer but there seemed not to be really any conflict to speak out outside of the change in the station houses. The election of 1996 took the center stage but I wasn't sure as to why. A story needs conflict and this one seemed lacking of any with substance. It was difficult to keep reading because nothing sparked my interests. I didn't identiy with any of your characters." -- e. rocco caldwell. "I though that was explained in the first two book, I guess it wasn't clear enough. Carrie is a natural born trouble-causer, and nobody likes her at work. That is the breaking point in this, they become friends. The electon is centered on because the story HAPPENED to be set in 1996 by the timeline set with the first two (you have to read carefully to find it), so I though I could express how dangerous politics can be towards friendships, even old ones. I also wanted to write about respecting opinions." -- collins, IN, IN, US. "It might have been explained in the first books but I didn't read them. If you are going to write separate books you must still establish conflict and background on each character. Never assume people read your first book!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Hello again, Collins! I must say that this was a nice addition to the series, but I do agree with rocco in there being no conflict in the story. You do, however, show much potential, and I think--after you've matured--you should edit these stories, lump all of them together and label it "The Adventures of Smith and Ronalds". Ok, my criticisms are below. I found very few things wrong this go-around. Here we go: "Just go back to you�re daily work and if the reports are true than I will inform you." 'You're' should be your. �Are you exited about the election?� That should read 'excited'. "AS THEY MUST CONTINUE THERE LIVE AS IF ALL WAS NORMAL." That should be 'Lives'. "Feuds were breaking out as well as employees argued" That should be 'arguing'. �I some times wish..." That should be 'sometimes'. "They taped their glasses." That should be 'tapped'. "I WILL OPEN IT TOMORROW OR LATTER." That should be 'later'. "Joe Webb: Station 3�" How is it that David and Trevor don't know Joe Webb when he works at Station 3? "and David two favorites" That should read, "David's two favorites'. "It covered every thing from the deaths of three of their friend" That should be 'friends'. I must say too, that you have a wonderful flair for dialogue, which is always a good asset that any writer would want to possess. Until tomorrow then, take care. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit. "Well, as for the Joe Webb thing, the stations are all different buldings. I mean, I doubt that cops know everyone that they work for. Also, Joe was a new version addition. It is the name of my best friends grandpa, who dies recently. It and the whole part where they mention the officers at the meeting was done so I had an excuse to mention the character 'Ella Begri', who is an important character as time goes by. You really have no idea how much I appriciate you reviewing my WHOLE series! It is very cool of you. Thanks. I am reading the Deluded Youth now, and the review will be up shortly." -- collins. Ucw: The Story Of The Man, Part Three by Tony James Sayers (3) "An excellent beginning of a book. Get to work on the rest. PLEASE. It should do well. UCW is great. Marsander #1. And you know that Tony." -- Matt, Surrey, UK. "i read this story and it's great, i can wait for the next part to come out. what can i say IM HOOKED!!! but i noticed that the main character has the same name as you, why? is Amy an ex girlfreind of yours or something? in any way though the connection between both characters is amazing!" -- Robert Drunt, manchester. "Constructive...er...what does that mean? What i've seen so far is amazing, it's like you just grab the reader by the neck and drag them into the story...Can't wait to see how the plot thickens in UCW2 hehe. Anyway, must tie this up as i'm being somewhat distracted. All together a good read and i can't wait to see more. (Your Angel xxx) " -- Jess(Authors much wuved girfriend..and manager), Surrey, England. Of Bitchy Girls And Gorgeous Guys by Karina Fuentes (3) "Your story is great! I can't wait to see what happens between Tina and James not to mentions the other guy(forgott his name)with the blond hair. the language is excellent with a lots of descripsions and I think the teenage thoughts and spirits is captured in this story." -- Linda . "hi Karina!! haha i found your story!! it's really great and i really like it!! nahihiya ka pa nung tinanong namin kung anong website mahahanap yung story mo!! haha!! anyway, i would just like to say that keep up the good work because i know that you have the talent to do so..haha...and oh yeah...thanks for always lending me your books hehe =)" -- valen. "Good work" -- jose, sunrise, florida, usa. Murder On The Waterfront by Susan Brassfield Cogan (4) "I want more!!!!!!!!!!!! This is great. I never thought she was of royalty. It has that sherlock hOlmes feel to it. Very well written and I want more. Art...intrigue!!! Great!" -- e rocco caldwell. "Thank you! This book should come out in 2004. I have an announcement list. Just go to my website. :-) your review made my day! Susan" -- Susan . "awww.... you're one talented lady.... reading "this" really made my day... Thank you... ;)" -- Nabeela Maswood. "very nice" -- praveen, chennai, tamilnadu, india. Georgia Peaches by E Rocco Caldwell (2) "well keep going ERC, this was different than i expected from the title for my own little reasons, but quite profound and i'm sure accurate as to what may have happened in many households back then, maybe a few even today. looking forward to more." -- Just A Guy. "LOL at JAG! (inside joke) Rocco, this is wonderful and I really hope you keep going with it. Thats one of my biggest writing faults is that I dont like to do long works. Call me lazy hehe. This has a lot of potential. I'm sure that racial conflicts broke a lot of marriages back then, hell, even now." -- KM. A Grand New Age2 by E Rocco Caldwell (1) "Well done! My homepage | Please visit" -- Greg, Mexico, Mexico, Mexico. Ucw The Marsander Story by Matthew Robert Stovell (1) "this is good matt, keep it going and remember to connect it to my epic one, also, check your spelling as i found a few mistakes, but this is one awesome story" -- the man. The Horror Of Cadia by Matthew Robert Stovell (1) "Hey. Cud sum1 plz comment on this story. Even tho it aint long i think its the best think i've written. I jst wanna no wot ppl think" -- Matt, Camberley, surrey, uk. Chapter One: A Stiff Shot Of Southern Comfort by Kevin Myrick (1) "Interesting but why do writers always write about writers writing! Has promise, though. Good dialog." -- Shelley, Fullerton, Ca, USA. Mystery by E Rocco Caldwell (2) "I loved it Rocco! Great writing. I feel like there's more, am I correct? Keep writing. I love New Orleans ( my next vacation spot). Deb" -- D. G. Williford. "There's a lot more like 160 pages of the story done. I visited new Orleans a few years ago and was there for six days. During that short visit I stumbled over this story. " -- e. rocco caldwell. Forgotten Memories, Uncompleted by Tony James Sayers (4) "lol fairplay your stories are on this site. :D kool man well impressed wid that as i was there when you first started these stories. we should write one together" -- nik, camberley, surrey. "this is a great story, but not as good as the UCW one, maybe if you did some more of this one it would be better. overally though it was great!" -- Robert Drunt, manchester. "It is a good, detailed story and if you really worked at it, it would be even better. UCW is better however. Mainly becuase i'm included in the planning of it. OK my non biased review is. A good story fininsh it with as much detail as possible and it will be allright." -- Matt, camberley, surrey, uk. "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... Equivocation by E Rocco Caldwell (2) "Superb, once again your imagination has brightened my night, loved the detail. Minor moan, Didn't like the Lothlorien bit, Im a big LOTR fan. Superbly entertaining never the less." -- Buxton. "good story. Still didn't quite get what is actually happening but it sound interesting. You obvously also have a lot of tallent as a writter. You really made me feel in the Hallway. I felt however that a few parts of the conversation at the end lacked fluence. Still a great story." -- Jarrod Lawson. A Matter Of Faith by E Rocco Caldwell (4) "gripping tale of good and evil, i have to admit to looking up a few of the words. keep it coming." -- Just A Guy. "Rocco, I enjoyed this read alot, this has alot of potential for expanding into a longer piece of work! I like the choice of words you used to put this together, all the elements of fantasy fiction are there & the storyline is a compelling one that leaves your reader wanting to turn pages! Give us more like this!" -- Monte. "Thanks, JAG and Monte for your kind words. I really enjoy working these types of pieces!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Man this had a beautiful phantasmagorical vibe to it," -- brotherman. Jubilee, A Novel by Susan Brassfield Cogan (1) "Very descriptive and detailed right in the middle of the French Revolution. I dont' think the Declaration of Independence was ratified, though, it was just simple adopted; Constitutional amendments are ratified; I'm a history major I'm writing about Jefferson next semester. The Declaration of Independence is my favorite document. Cessna Queen" -- Shelley, Fullerton, Ca, USA. The Manipulatory Factor by E Rocco Caldwell (2) "This was excellent! You could really expand on this and make it a novel with some work. Second to the last sentence needs to read...I, Hillis, son of Ron-ta (am) the manlipulatory factor! Great job, E! As usual!" -- KM (Michelle). "Thank you. This is only a segment of an actual chapter. I didn't put the entire chapter in because I didn't people would read it. The novel is actually 350 pages long and still in the development stage because I just plain haven't worked on it yet. But it is completely written. I will use your suggestion for the end. Thank you." -- e. rocco caldwell. Smith & Ronalds: The Shawdow In The Alley by Patrick Collins (7) "is that an actual place--Indianapolice? I've heard of Indianapolis but not the town you live in. How far is it was Indianapolis? I was a little more interested in this story because I wanted to know who was killing people in such a ugly way. It spoke of a vampire and the fact the mad man used bats was a neat twist. I didn't feel anything for your character because you don't take time to develop them. Have them in relationships with spouses or if their caring fathers or mothers. They are these cardboard names you use to help your story about. The secret of a novel is to get the reader interested in your characters and than place them in situations. " -- e. rocco caldwell. "My profile is supposed to be mispelled. The word 'Police' ws hidden there, I was going to see if anybody noticed. I live in 'Indianapolis'." -- collins, in, in, us. "I didn' have a very good understanding of character writing at the time, but I have worked to improve that. A few characters are directly based on people I know (notablt Carrie and Ella), and Trevor is also a sort of 'composite charactor' if you will, of real people that I know. I try to give them trademarks abit (like Trevors clothing and Carries mouth), but I have learned that dialouge is importent to establishing characors. IA Time of Change is really a turning point in the series, now the story will focus more on the charactors. Are you the same person who did my other book 'Origins & Conclusions' with a different name?" -- collins, in, in, us. "My advise is to lump all of the books into one novel and use the different mishaps as character building. Homocide: life on the street is a composite of stories or murders in the Baltimore area. You should read it it might help you out" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Ok, Collins. Here's my critique of your second entry in the Smith's and Ronald's series. I hope that you find the following critique helpful. Here goes: "He did not wont to sound rude." That should read, 'He did not want to sound rude.' "Sean then noticed that the man was no ware in sight." That should read, 'nowhere in sight.' "Dawn: small, yet beautiful green hills were surrounding a long black box, with gold hinges, many people in black surround it..." That should read, 'many people in black surrounded it...' "...after the funeral an autopsy was made on the body..." This stands out because I was under the impression that they perform autopsies before the funeral. Just think about it for a second: are they going to dig the body up after it has been buried and then perform an autopsy? "...the days went by, finally, it came to Friday, then they all met up..." This should be a stand alone sentence and not a continuation of the previous one. "...but when he fell out of the car he was now are in sight?" The word 'are' should be removed from the sentence. "they stopped at a holiday inn..." Shouldn't 'holiday inn' be capitalized? "That night they managed to get a nice room or the three of them." The word 'or' should be replaced with the word 'for.' "they laughed at them." The 't' in 'they' should be capitalized. "The next they went to Sean�s house," That should read, 'The next day they went to Shawn's house.' "And with that they went to sleep, the next they awoke very energized," That should read, 'the next day they awoke very energized...' "they went down stares..." That should read, 'they went downstairs...' "the large waterfall at Silver Town Bar & Grill seemed to pour ten time more powerfully than ever Trev, Dave, and Hector had seen." That should read, 'ten times more powerfully...' "He new both of them more than we do." That should read, 'knew.' "a bunch of dogs, and I mean lots of dogs, run bye my house." 'Bye' should be replaced with 'by.' "Its a organization were people help lost and homeless dogs." That should read, 'It's an organization...' "EVERYONE IS TO EVACUATE AT OUNCE!" I'm wondering, why do you keep replacing the word 'once' with 'ounce?' "He then through a small and beat up card board box over the edge." That should read, 'He then threw...' "He moved out of the missing Trevor by inches, Trevor showed no sign of stopping" That should read, 'He moved out of the way...' �By the way, were is Mr. Madison?" That should read, 'where is Mr. Madison?' "It was latter revealed..." That should read, 'It was later revealed...' "Okay, I was going to see if there were any body parts tat..." Tat should be replaced with that. "...and began to suck blood out of my left arm, he put tape on my mouth to keep me quiet then proceeded to suck it out. It was more painful then any thing I have ever felt before in my life! I mean you have no idea!" How come this guy didn't put up a fight against the blood sucking man? "He was released from the hospital a few days before the voting toke place." That should read, 'took place.' "We have to star from scratch almost.� That should read, 'start from scratch.' Overall, it was a pretty good story. I think the first entry was a little better than this one. I will, however, remark on something that concerns me. This story, like the previous one, has many errors that need addressing. Most can be eliminated with a careful eye however. In truth, you are really a capable writer, but these errors cast shadows on your otherwise excellent work. In terms of character development, I will say--like the previous reviewer--that there was very little of that, though I did see some instances of inward reflections which--if probed further--could be the basis for character development. Ok, I hoped you enjoyed my critique. Also, have you gotten the chance to check out my short story "The Deluded Youth?" It is a very driven character piece and--who knows--you might learn something from it. Until tomorrow then, take care. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "Thank you again. The reason for the mistakes was that I wrote this when I just started writing. And thought I still make many errors (who desent?) they have gotten less bad. I wrote this one about two years ago. I got were, ware, and where mixed up, tow and toe. Too and to and two. It was just a sorta automatic response. I no longer have much of a problem with this, thought it is still present. I had this bad habbit of spelling ounce intead of once. It was just a nervous habbit that shows up often in my stories. I am going to read your story as soon as I can. I always considered this volume my weakest by far. I thought it didn't have enough bearing on the entire story of the series. Thanks again!" -- collins, in, in, us. "PS- sorry for the typos in the above response. I seem to get too exited and type too fast. I'm working on it though!" -- collins, In. The Quest For Corel Amir Yaara (Introduction) by RaposoN (3) "wow great detail, can't wait for the rest man" -- Bobby Vega, westpoint, vi, uniited states. "Hey Nelson hun, I think you did a very good job on your story. Sorry about last time i was looking carefully trying 2 find it and it wasnt added in the story mania. I love your story you should become a writer ur story is good an i bet if u published it it would be a famous book some day. I love U hun always an forever *Muah!* remember this, anything you want to do in life it will happen for you because you have a special talent thats hidden, and i've always admired that in your because you are smart, dont listen to what anyone tells you, jus because ur sister thinks shes good in memorizing books or whatever doesnt mean she has the same talents that you have. <3 Everyone is different and you are special to me. I love you :)" -- Rose, Medinah, IL, USA. "I wish that as the story progresses the "modern world" becomes clearer (maybe with orcs battling right in Times Square)" -- Roy J Lores Maldonado, Ponce, Puerto Rico. The Girl No One Knew by LasterNM (1) "OOPS double OOPS my e-mail if you need to know is actualy [email protected] sorry about that every one, im just lazey an im not supposed to be on right now [heheh] sorry again@" -- NICOLE LASTER , fresno, California, U.S.A. Kingdom Of Demons by Robert E Tadlock (3) "I would really like to hear from you, even if it's a suggestion. R. Tadlock" -- Robert E. Tadlock, Palm Bay, Florida, USA. "nothing" -- kabal, notengo, menos, mexico. "Does your comment mean you don't like it. Or that you just don't have an opinion. Writing the word nothing seems hardly worth the effort. skinsfan" -- Robert E. Tadlock, PALM BAY, Fl., USA. Days Like No Otha by HolmanDMDmh (1) "It is good write more" -- Nikki, Houston, TExas, USA. South Side Story by Nw Johnson (5) "Please read my story! Read it and review it. Tell me whether you think I should continue it or not!" -- NW johnson. "Good story line. Always finish what you start, it builds confidence. But, try using spell check and proof read. " -- Bob T., Palm Bay, Fl., USA. "Hey, I absolutely loved the story! People outside Missouri think all we consist of is farmland, but the inner cities can be really rough. If they think your story is phony, tell them to drive throught downtown KC, and then they'll understand. I can't wait for more! Its storyline is new for me, but I love it. I certainly don't live in the valley but I know people who do, and it's all true. Finish it! I am anxiously waiting for the ending!" -- Lara K., Kansas City, Mo, United States . "Hey!! that was an awesome story... i hope its only a story tho. you had me worried there! believe me i should know :(. but thats beside the point... you almost had me in tears there. probly 4 some odd reasons but thats ok... i say you should keep it up cuz now i wanna know the end!!" -- lindsay, kansas city, MO, usa. "people please review my story! I have several hits but only 4 reviews. I would love to hear your thoughts on my story." -- the author. Cellar Dweller's by Robert E Tadlock (2) "Please give me a review. I'd like to here if you like it or not. This was my first attempt at story writing. Thanks Bob" -- Robert E. Tadlock, Palm Bay, Fl., USA. "very good for a first time. Addictive. very gorry and discriptive" -- nash. Betrothed To Danger by Emma Trew (1) "This was amazing and when you finish it you should really get it published - i'll be first in line!!" -- ruth. I, Am by Deon C Sanders Deno Sandz (1) "Finally, a Supernatural/Horror that sparks your inner fright. One of the best novels this year. A great read." -- James. Chatting With A Robot by James Donner (3) "it was pretty funny but it had some bland spots." -- W. W. Hancock. "Are little children stupid?...did not read beyond that part of your description...might wanna change that to invite more readers" -- mandi. "Thanx James for the change...I had a hard time following this...keep at it" -- mandi. Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 |
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