www.storymania.com
Storymania Logo

 

 

Short Stories




Beyond Death by Robert A Ferguson A short piece on a love reaching through war and beyond death. [275 words]
The Man by Mike McWade The Man takes a break from the stiffs at work only to run into more. [1,243 words]
The Ballerina by Ashley Miranda Mary loves ballet and studies at a ballet school, but she sure is shaken up when she finds out th... [1,333 words]
The Exploits Of Tal'on Kepp by Michael Harris This is a short story set in my Chronicles of Zefaria series. I hope that all enjo... [2,542 words]
Better With Age by J Shartzer A young couple enjoy their new home, and a barrel of brandy... [1,117 words]
Randy And Sarah by Z E S Carothers A story about two young kids. A boy that lives by himself in the forest and a girl that is his ... [3,211 words]
You Don't Have To Talk... by Harvey Kennett When you are shy, and cannot find the words to say, say nothing. [607 words]
Wto Rally The Final by E Rocco Caldwell Joe has a rude awakening. [548 words]
Why Must You by Lucy Midnight - [1,593 words]
What If I... by Lucy Midnight Campfire Tales. [1,076 words]
Waiting In The Desert by Mihai Pruna The caravan pulled off the interstate on a county road. Soon they abandoned that as well ... [1,850 words]
The Unwanted by Lucy Midnight Campfire Tales. [2,159 words]
The Tower by P J Francis A man wrestles with his actions. [226 words]
The Sucidal Games by Lucy Midnight Internet Relations. [1,029 words]
The Story Of The Blanket by Patti Merrill A short story. [668 words]
The Spectator by Harry Buschman The story of a deaf man's contribution to the war on terror. [2,240 words]
The Rich Little Chipmunk by John C Popiel This is a story about how a five dollar bill travels through three different people an... [707 words]
The Mansion by Laura Depriest This is a short story for young readers about aging and leading a full life in the context of livin... [2,923 words]
The Magic Lamp by Somdev Mukherjee A story about Varun - a little boy brought up in a busy modern city with all its problems for th... [1,092 words]
The Holly Tree by P J Francis A dark fantasy tale. [1,399 words]
The Guitar Man by Jason Taylor The Bloodman A war veteran flips out. [499 words]
The Friends by Lucy Midnight ... [1,416 words]
The Forces Between by Lucy Midnight ... [977 words]
The Cubicle by D G Williford Working in a box and what is does to the psyche... [104 words]
The Adventuresof Archie 5b - The Army Surplus Salesman's Tale by Xoggoth Continued. [1,116 words]
The Adventures Of Archie 7 - The Puzzleman's Tale by Xoggoth Archie finds he is not alone in the valley. He shares it with... [2,988 words]
The Adventures Of Archie 6 - A Peaceful Solution by Xoggoth Following a Little Boy explosion Archie find himself on a deso... [1,271 words]
The Adventures Of Archie 5a - The Army Surplus Salesman by Xoggoth Archie learns the truth they try and keep from us, that... [913 words]
The Adventures Of Archie 4b - The Great Regurgitato's Tale
The Adventures Of Archie 4a - The Great Regurgitato by Xoggoth Achie learns of the greats of bodily functions and meets th... [781 words]
The Adventures Of Archie 3 - The Spider Catcher's Tale. by Xoggoth Archie escapes from the paralysing purple and find hims... [1,313 words]
The Adventures Of Archie 2 - The Little Demon's Tale by Xoggoth A hell spawned satanic creature identifies too much with m... [901 words]
The Adventures Of Archie 1 - The Great Escape by Xoggoth A sort of Alice in Wonderland meets Canterbury Tales sort of thin... [473 words]
Test Song by Jeff T Kane An alien invasion seen from a religious ant's point of view. [5,341 words]
Te Quiero by Lucy Midnight Hannah and her boyfriend Cody are getting serious when Hannah learns that Cody has cancer. [1,108 words]
Room 86b by Lucy Midnight ... [2,284 words]
Right Place, Wrong Time by Maggie Danials A story about sex. [487 words]
Retribution And New Beginnings by Erasmus Flynt Secrets will out. [8,764 words]
Radia by Z E S Carothers The begining of one of my books. Tell me what you think about it. [814 words]
On The Bus To Town by Sam Vaknin The announcer warns of imminent terrorist attacks on public transport. It recommends to err ... [2,713 words]
Nightmare by Inchara Incident faced by a girl returning home late in the evening. [1,268 words]
Monty On The Run by James Bondjamesbond The second instalment - Monty in deeper water. [1,226 words]
Miranda And Her Doll by P J Francis A sweet little girl...or is she? [1,187 words]
Love Of The Mountains Or So They Thought by Lucy Midnight ... [1,335 words]
Like Ocean's Eleven by Higgins This story takes place in a military setting, mainly Point Barrow, Alaska. Russian officers... [1,414 words]
It Happens by Lucy Midnight - [1,634 words]
Introducing Monty Finch by James Bondjamesbond This is the first chapter of my Monty Finch series. In this first instalment our hero f... [2,432 words]
In Capable Hands by Erasmus Flynt Or are we? [212 words]
Hunters Moon by P J Francis A creature is hunted. [1,768 words]
Hook by Amanda Connison Written for the PA Govenor's School. [1,855 words]
Gold by P J Francis Lost hopes... [243 words]
Girls Vs. Boys by Lucy Midnight Madison and her boyfriend Scott break up and then he asks her to marry him and she declines. She... [2,015 words]
Girl In The Rain by Rowan Davies We always think of ourselves as individuals, until we notice that there are other individuals ... [505 words]
Expectations by Jacson A Bevens A tale about what can happen when expectations are laid aside and feelings take over. [1,220 words]
Devastation 2 by Buxton The journal piece of the only women left after the end of the world. 34 year old Emily Carter's d... [448 words]
Deep Fur by Jeff T Kane The downfall of a corrupt lion judge in Long Island. [6,460 words]
Cluedon't by Tomphil Baed on the popular board game, what will happen when Edward and his wife go round to play Cluedo wit... [3,567 words]
Black Widow by Lucy Midnight Kayli, Becky, and Eddy are three sisters that lose their only living relative left. Kayli and Eddy ... [3,096 words]
Being An Atheist Is Hard by Aaron Horn A guy spills the beans to his mom that he doesn't believe in good ol God. [626 words]
Bare Facts by Partha Pratim Majumder When western culture and western fashion representing economic power of West has been making serious... [1,461 words]
At A Wto Rally by E Rocco Caldwell - [853 words]
At A Wto Rally (Part Three) by E Rocco Caldwell Joe gets his first lesson as to what is the consortium. [435 words]
At A Wto Rally 4 by E Rocco Caldwell Joe confront the internal workings of the consortium. [723 words]
Allefureine by Tomphil A story about a clash of cultures between a race of alien creatures and humans. [463 words]
Alice In Wonderland by Katy Pierce It's a newer version of Alice in Wonderland . . . Alice goes to a party, gets druggged, and... [782 words]
A Tough Day-1 by Sukesh Srivastava A common,innocent man when caught in a tricky situation with the police authorities, finds himsel... [3,142 words]
A Stroll Through The Beach Sands by Ravikumar Hariharan About how we lose innocence with age. [553 words]
A Perfect Crime by P J Francis One womans vengenance as a perfect crime. [1,048 words]
A Marriage Made In Heaven by P J Francis A tale of revenge. [936 words]
A Beheaded Cart by Sam Vaknin My grandfather had one love: my grandmother. A ravishing, proud, raven-haired woman. A framed r... [1,508 words]

Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 [28] 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
TITLE (EDIT)
The Adventures Of Archie 4b - The Great Regurgitato's Tale
DESCRIPTION
Continued.
[823 words]
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor
AUTHOR
Xoggoth
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
-
[March 2004]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (25)
A Capital Fart (Short Stories) The redundant London underground is pressed into service to win a world farting contest. [736 words] [Humor]
A Wrong Turn Somewhere (Short Stories) Somewhere near Birmingham a driver takes a wrong turn and loses everything. [492 words] [Mystical]
Amnesty (Short Stories) A gun amnesty in a rough borough of London goes idiotically wrong. [561 words] [Comedy]
Arnie (Short Stories) A little labourer has a terminator approach to his work. [646 words] [Humor]
Back To The Garden (Short Stories) Depressing the extent to which everything is being dumbed down these days. Poor state education? Is that all it is? [527 words] [Mind]
Changing To Go Out (Short Stories) In the aftermath of the genetic bomb, a simple night at the pictures with the missus is no easy task. [444 words] [Humor]
God's Trainees (Short Stories) Him upstairs is thinking of retiring, all he needs to do is train up some suitable replacements. Easier said than done. They just don't make deities the way the used to. [1,570 words] [Humor]
Mementoes Of Treasured Occasions (Short Stories) A struggling photographer finds a rich new source of business. [496 words] [Humor]
Providing For Sarah (Short Stories) A desolate man finds comfort in an imaginary (?) companion. But who will care for her when he's gone? [883 words] [Mind]
Sex Life Of The Amoeba (Short Stories) A serious paper on cellular mytosis in a well known eukarytic organism. The dirty little... [1,108 words] [Humor]
Soup (Short Stories) A soup manufacturer ends life on Earth. [514 words] [Comedy]
The Adventures Of Archie 1 - The Great Escape (Short Stories) A sort of Alice in Wonderland meets Canterbury Tales sort of thing but sillier than the former and even more boring than the latter. In episode 1 our elderly rabbit hero escapes his hutch and disappe... [473 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 2 - The Little Demon's Tale (Short Stories) A hell spawned satanic creature identifies too much with men and falls to their level. [901 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 3 - The Spider Catcher's Tale. (Short Stories) Archie escapes from the paralysing purple and find himself in a world where an avoidable infestation has eaten all the perspective. There he meets the spider catcher and learns why ballroom dancing i... [1,313 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 4a - The Great Regurgitato (Short Stories) Achie learns of the greats of bodily functions and meets the greatest of them all. [781 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 5a - The Army Surplus Salesman (Short Stories) Archie learns the truth they try and keep from us, that being disembowelled is fun, meets a descendant of the Piltdown man and travels to the army surplus fair to find Little Boy is no bargain. [913 words]
The Adventures Of Archie 6 - A Peaceful Solution (Short Stories) Following a Little Boy explosion Archie find himself on a desolate plain and meets two tribes who are too stupid to realise that war and bloodshed are by far the most efficient means of resolving disp... [1,271 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 7 - The Puzzleman's Tale (Short Stories) Archie finds he is not alone in the valley. He shares it with a man in a very strange prison. You have to endure a little homily on man's inhumanity to decorating materials first. [2,988 words] [Humor]
The Adventuresof Archie 5b - The Army Surplus Salesman's Tale (Short Stories) Continued. [1,116 words]
The Fly And... (Short Stories) That Geoff Goldblum had it easy! One fly?? I should have been so lucky! [483 words] [Humor]
The Horrid Tale Of Evil Worm (Short Stories) A rare accident in the vegetable patch transforms a humble earthworm into a satanic being. [1,158 words]
The Several Voyages Of Fat Tony (Short Stories) Foul deeds on the dead sea coast get their richly deserved comeuppance. [1,377 words]
The Two Bills (Short Stories) William Shakespeare fails to get to grips with Microsoft Word. [777 words]
Vomiting On Tony (Short Stories) The Mad Messiah (AKA Tony Blair) gets what he thoroughly deserves. [499 words] [Humor]
Your Little God Is Pooh And Creepy Too (Short Stories) Only the innocent find salvation. In the run up to the revelation the kids of St Crispin's Middle School are introduced to their own little salvations. PS I know Buddha was not a god, it's creative l... [1,442 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 4b - The Great Regurgitato's Tale
Xoggoth

The Great Regurgitato's Tale

I used to be a fairly normal lad when I was growing up, but I always had a hankering after greatness and nothing inspired me more than the stories of the giants of bodily functions like the great Crapatito. Nobody believes in him now of course, he is just a legend, a myth. I expect you know the story about the pig and the cork and the monkey? Well that was really the Great Crapatito you know. These days we think it's just a mucky schoolboy joke, but it was all based on truth.

The scholars will never admit it, they rabbit on about the collective psyche and distortions of historical facts and allegories but the opposite is also true. Most legends started as dirty jokes. All that stuff about Zeus and the golden showers or visiting mares disguised as the west wind? Just dirty tales they used to tell in the bars and brothels of Corinth or Athens. The 'scholars' turned it into a religion. Same with all the modern religions, Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, they all started out as graffiti on a toilet wall somewhere. I could tell you a thing or two from my research. We make profundity out of trivia and truths out of fundaments. It's the way of the world.

Anyhow, where was I? Oh yes, the great Crapatito. There are some marvellous stories of his exploits. Like the first occasion he appeared in the amphitheatre in Rome as a mere supporting act to the Great Fartacus. In a short preview performance, Fartacus cleared the entire audience on the West side (there was an Easterly wind blowing), depopulated the sprawling suburb of Casarium and killed cattle as far away as Thaeseni. He was a triumph. The remaining crowd was in a delirium of expectation for his main act and had little interest in the warm up artists. History records that they were mostly fairly dire. The Thracian Atoninus Pisso barely wetted the orchestra in the pits apparently and the Mighty Spunkatus was even sadder. So when the Great Crapito came on, or Crapitus Maximus to give him his proper name then, it was to a chorus of boos and a deluge of rotten fruit.

Well. That soon changed. Maybe it was because he got so annoyed with his reception, or maybe he had just come of age, but Crapitus shook the world that night and left a legacy that reverberates down the ages and will never be forgotten by those of us who have a grasp of what is truly important. The excremental deluge filled the auditorium in an instant, killing the emperor and most of the Roman Senate. It roared up the walls of the Coliseum and burst out over the city. A million people, including most of Rome's crack legions, died that night. Ten thousand square miles of Italy vanished in less than two hours. The scholars tell us it was the Goths and the Vandals that destroyed Rome. A sanitised version of history. It was Crapitus.

They say talents like mine are a disease. All those years ago I awoke feeling a little sick and soon discovered that that was just a beginning. Maybe it's a disease but I call it a gift and I have honed my abilities over many many years. Unfortunately, we live in an age where greatness is not respected and safety laws require me to perform only in enclosed spaces like this mall where the reflected waves quench my flow. Even the Great Crapatito had his limitations as the monkey and cork joke shows. Those outside the safety zone survived. One day I will perform in the open and there will be no limits. One day I will engulf the world! The Great Regurgitato's head began to spin round and round emitting increasingly pitched squeaks.

Archie crept away to seek a warm bath. Apart from that unfortunate habit we touched on in a previous episode, rabbits are very clean little animals and he was revolted by all he had seen and heard. On top of that, his fur smelt of puke and his tail, now slipping down his nose, had a faint aroma of bum. He was going to... It started to spray out of his ears and from the very air around him. "Ha,ha, haaaaaa" whined the Great Regurgitato, you've got it tooooo, haaaaaa, haaaaaaaaaa" His head span into a blur and his laughter got higher and higher, disappearing into supersonic inaudability. All the dogs for miles around began to bark frenziedly.

Archie ran as fast as his old legs could take him. Out of the mall and through the outskirts of the drab little town towards the cool green fields. Through a hedge, tumbling onto a road. In the brief moment before the huge tyre of the red lorry crushed him he had time to wonder. Were all his strange adventures going to end with such a commonplace rabbit fate?

 

Submit Your Review for The Adventures Of Archie 4b - The Great Regurgitato's Tale
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.

Your Name*     E-mail*

City     State/Province     Country

Your Review (please be constructive!)*


Please Enter Code*:

Submit Your Rating for The Adventures Of Archie 4b - The Great Regurgitato's Tale

Worst     1     2     3     4     5     6     7     8     9     10     Best

COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2003 Xoggoth
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
March 2004
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1967
 

Copyright © 1998-2001 Storymania Technologies Limited. All Rights Reserved.