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Out With The Old, In With The Young
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TITLE (EDIT)
Out With The Old, In With The Young |
DESCRIPTION
The Pratmeister gives his overview of 2005, and what he expects for 2006.
[525 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor |
AUTHOR
Thepratmeister |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
The Pratmeister is coming to get you!
[July 2005] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (13)
Assholes (Non-Fiction) The Pratmeister is in a mood. Again. [150 words] [Humor]
Australian Suck! (Non-Fiction) The Pratmeister gives you the lowdown on the worst country in the world. [665 words] [Humor]
If You Like Me... (Poetry) A tone poem, thoughtfully composed by the Pratmeister in tranquil contemplation, whilst taking a dump this afternoon. [64 words] [Humor]
Lying Little Liars - In Other Words, Our Government And It's Party Political Propaganda Tool - The Media (Non-Fiction) The Pratmeister is becoming political. [338 words]
Nicole Cornes Can Suck My Balls (Non-Fiction) The pratmeister gently points out to a "Sunday Mail" columnist where she is going wrong in life. [535 words] [Humor]
Oh Australia, How I Hate Thee (Non-Fiction) Let me count the ways... [505 words] [Humor]
Perverts (Non-Fiction) The world is going insane - but the pratmeister will reassure you you're not alone in thinking so. [322 words] [Humor]
Prudes (Non-Fiction) The Pratmeister feels a rant coming on again. Oh dear. [355 words] [Humor]
Rant Of The Week (Non-Fiction) The Pratmeister tells it like it is on the hot topics of the day. [796 words] [Humor]
Shame Para Hills High School, Shame! (Non-Fiction) The Pratmeister has a gutless bunch of High School bureaucratic tosspots firmly in his sights this week. [191 words] [Humor]
The Aussie Media Are Full Of Shit (Short Stories) The Pratmeister has had enough of the bullshit foisted on the Aussie public as "news" and "current affairs". [510 words] [Humor]
The Pratmeister's Guide To Australia (Non-Fiction) The Pratmeister gives you the unofficial history of the Aussies. [379 words] [Humor]
What The World Wide Web Thinks Of Aussies (Non-Fiction) The Pratmeister gives you a look at what real people think of the worst country in the world. [2,053 words] [Humor]
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Out With The Old, In With The Young
Thepratmeister
Out with the old, In With The Young (Teenage Girls, preferably)
THE PRATMEISTER'S
GUIDE TO THE
YEAR THAT WAS
AND THE YEAR THAT
SHALL BE...
2005
2005 sucked. It was gay. It was gayer than gayer, especially in the UK,
where the faggots can now be married and become man and - er - man,
Mmm.
Don't you just love society? I've said it before, but I'll say it again, any society
that calls a middle-aged man who loves a bit of teen girl pussy a pervert,
but give guys who love nothing more than rooting each other up the anal
passages their own wedding ceremony, is one seriously sick, fucked-up
excuse for a society, and one the Pratmeister would rather not have to
live in, thank you very much. It almost makes you feel glad to be in
racist, xenophobic, sexist, homophobic old Australia. Goodo for John
Howard, eh?
Fuck me, I never thought I'd be writing that sentence!
What else happened in 2005? Not much. The CIA bombed a few buses
in London, England, and again pretended it was the work of bearded,
Middle Eastern, penis-free religious lunatics, in order to better enable
the British government to follow the US and Australia's lead and
remove a few more of those pesky "civil liberty" things. Pretty soon
women will be being made to cover their faces with cloth, which, let's
face it, will probably an improvement for a lot of them. Especially the
over30s crowd.
What else? Oh yes, race riots in Sydney! How could you forget that
comedy classic? Had me rolling in the aisles that did, the truth about
Australia finally exposed for all to see. Not that it was race-related,
of course, any more than your average soccer riot is actually football
related. Any excuse for a barny, that's all. Always the way with
brainless yobs the world over, and considering Oz is full of nothing
BUT brainless yobs, it had to happen eventually, let's face it. The real
fun came afterwards, though, with John Howard's "Australia is not
a racist country". Way to keep a straight face, John! You know, I'm
almost starting to like him these days. Nah, just kidding, I haven't
completely lost the fucking plot, you know.
What else? Erm...faggots...bombing...race...Tsunami?Wasn't that
2004? Still, they keep banging on about it. Oh a lot of people died,
but not many Westerners, so that doesn't matter too much.
Evolution has to weed out the uncivilised somehow, you know.
So...2006! What to expect, and what to hope for? Two different
things, I know, but here goes:
What to Hope for:
Two new Girl Scouts to replace the ones in my sound-proof cellar.
They were fine while they were lasted, dinna get me wrong, but
they're starting to rot a little now, and after a while that gets not
kinky, but just plain revolting. Especially when the tongues drop off.
Eww.
What to Expect:
The police. Any day now.
What to Hope for:
England invades Australia and puts it to the sword.
What to Expect:
Australia wins the Ashes back.
What to Hope for:
Lesbians. Lots of them.
What to Expect:
That girl you really like turning out to be one.
What to Hope for:
Indiana Evans knocks on my door and asks if I'd like to lick her all
over. Needless to say, the answer is yes.
What to Expect:
Jehoves Witnesses knock on my door.
I kill them and eat them with fava beans and a nice Chianti.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
from
THE PRATMEISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2005 Thepratmeister |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
December 2005 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1969
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