AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (1) Hi (Short Stories) This is a true story of a dog my family once owned. [1,444 words] [Relationships]
Mr Pearls Gary R Hoffman
M R Pearls
�Those earrings are beautiful, Irene. Where did they come from?� Dayna asked.
Good God, Jill thought. Haven�t you been around Irene enough to know not to ask that kind of a question?
�Actually,� Irene started, �the stones in these earrings belonged to Herbert�s great, great, great grandmother. The family story has it that they were given to Martha Washington. They were set in a necklace at the time. The necklace broke and part of it disappeared, probably stolen by a slave. Anyway, the part of the necklace that Martha kept was passed to Herbert�s relations, who were apparently good friends with the Washington family. Most of the stones were just cheap paste, but some were quite valuable. I had the good stones set into these earrings.�
�Well, that�s quite a story, as well as a beautiful set of earrings,� Dayna said.
What else would you expect? Jill thought. Everything this woman has is better than anyone else�s and always has ties to someone famous. She has to be better than anyone else in everything! �They are quite striking,� Jill added. �I don�t think I�ve ever seen anything like them.�
�And you wouldn�t!� Irene said as she drifted away to impress someone else with her superior assets.
Jill looked at Dayna. �Don�t you know the kind of answers you�ll get from her by now?�
�Oh, yeah, sure. I just bait her. I want to see who owned what before she got them.�
Jill laughed. �Well, it sounds as if we both have the same impression of �Miss Better Than Anyone Else�.�
�I figured that out a long time ago, Jill. If Herb wasn�t Jim�s boss, I probably wouldn�t put up with her at all. But, since we keep getting invited to the bosses� house for parties, and if Jim wants to get ahead in the company, I�ll just keep baiting the old bag.�
�You know, Ralph feels sort of the same way. He knows these parties are Irene�s idea and that Herb probably just goes along with them. Herb is so down to earth. It�s hard to figure how he ended up with such a prude as Irene.�
�I guess that�s one of the great mysteries of life,� Dayna said laughingly.
�Well, one thing that isn�t a mystery is the upcoming vacation time for the entire plant. What are you and Jim going to do?�
�We�re going to Colorado. Jim wants to get up in the mountains again. How about you and Ralph?�
�Ralph wants to drive the Alaskan Highway, but we don�t know if we�ll have time. I think he�s going to talk to Herb tonight to see if he can get some more time off, just an extra week or so. It�s always been sort of a dream of Ralph�s to drive it, so I hope we can.�
�Well, it�s not like you�re starting from Mississippi or someplace. Seattle is about as close as you can get for your start.�
�Yeah, ever since the plant moved to Seattle, Ralph has talked about it. It�s now a lot more possible than when we lived in Virginia.�
Irene had come drifting back just as Jill and Dayna were finishing up their conversation. �What�s more possible, dear?� Irene asked.
�Well,� Jill said, �we were just talking about vacations. Ralph and I are thinking about driving the Alaskan Highway.�
�What a splendid rustic vacation!� Irene said. �Herbert and I are going to fly to New Zealand. A friend of ours in the state department has a condo there that he has loaned us for two weeks.�
Of course, he has, Jill thought. �Sounds like fun,� she said aloud.
�It will be marvelous!� Irene drooled out.
Bitch, Dayna thought.
�Maybe you can pick up some rare jewelry there,� Jill said.
�Oh, I hope so. I�m always on the lookout for the rare and unusual,� Irene said.
Six weeks later, the plant was reopened, and Irene and Herb threw their first party since the vacation.
�New Zealand was marvelous, darling,� Irene said to Jill. How was your vacation?�
�Quite interesting,� Jill answered. Dayna walked up to join them. �Actually, Irene, I found something I thought you might like, so I brought you a present.�
�Well, how sweet of you,� Irene said.
�I know how you like jewelry, and I found something I was sure you didn�t have.�
�My this is getting more interesting all the time,� Irene said.
�I found a set of earrings made out of Muskwa River Pearls.�
�I�ve never heard of them,� Irene said in an astonished manor.
�Well, they are pretty well localized in a small part of British Columbia.� Jill handed Irene a foil wrapped box. �Here. These are for you. I hope you enjoy them.�
�Oh, I�m sure I will.� Irene opened the box. �My, they are different. I must go put them on. Please excuse me while I go find a mirror.�
Dayna looked at Jill. �Sucking up to the old gal, eh?�
�Well, everyone deserves a present now and then,� Jill said.
�But a rare pearl? Isn�t that a little much? What do they have, some sort of clam that lives in the Muskwa River?�
Jill laughed. �No not exactly. These pearls are coated with a liquid plastic because if left out for the air to get to them, they would fall apart.�
�A pearl that falls apart? Never heard of such a thing.�
Jill giggled. �Ever hear of Rocky Mountain Oysters?�
�Yeah. They�re the testicles off pigs, aren�t they?�
�Yes.�
Dayna looked at her in disbelief. �So what�s a Muskwa River Pearl?� she asked almost unable to contain herself.
�Moose droppings.�
�What?�
�Yep, Irene is now wearing moose shit on her ears!�
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