DESCRIPTION
Hello everyone! I just finished writing part one of my short story and I would like some honest constructive criticism on wether to continue with this premise or move on. Thank you very much
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In The Darkness Comes The Silence Mike Piotrowski
In the Darkness Comes the Silence
Part I
What is it about darkness that intrigues me? Is it the stillness of the night or the illuminating silver glow of the moon. No, what fascinates me the most is the silence one is overcome by at night. It is this darkness where the silence is born. I am sure no one knows about this hidden place of night.
The town folk from my village would always tell stories of a place where only darkness ruled and where silence deafened the land. I have found that land, though differently then some would expect. It was rumored that people searched for this place of darkness for thousands of years but no one has ever set eyes on it. I have studied their journals and came to the conclusion that all of the land has been searched and every possible clue has led to nothing. I had given up just like everyone before me until luck struck my way.
On one bright and sunny day in July I decided to take a walk up to the highest hill of our village. I was sure this walk would help occupy my mind with something other than this unhealthy obsession I had with this land of darkness. It was a good two hour walk before I climbed up the hill and seen the amazing view of my whole village. I decided to rest near the dried and leafless tree that stood alone on top of the hill.
While staring at the village in contemplation I soon drifted off unto a daze that seemed to confuse me. I was almost certain I must have fallen asleep while resting under the dying tree and was simply dreaming. What was a bright and sunny day slowly turned into something much more darker. At first sight this surely looked as if my whole village was slowly being swallowed by what look like to me as black fog. The sound of rustling trees and singing birds where starting to fade. I could not wait until I would awake from what seemed to be a nightmare. The black fog now started to creep up the hill and into my nostrils. The fog soon consumed me and the silence followed. It was at that moment that I finally realized what had just happened.
I had found the land that was the empire of darkness and where silence was king. It was now completely dark and the silence so great I felt nothing but pure disorientation and pain. After a few excruciating moments the disorientation and pain soon went away. There I was sitting atop of the hill in pure blackness and emptiness trying to come to grasp with the immense shock of what actually was happening.
I decided to stand and move away from the tree. The tree looked the same as before, dead and leafless but there was something very different about everything else. The grass underneath me was black and looked like it was secreting a type of black fluid which seemed to cover my feet. I could not see the village from the hill nor could I see any sign of life. All that was clearly visible was the unusually massive moon that gave only a faint silver glow in the otherwise unnaturally black sky.
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