Fade To Light: In The Light Of A Shadow by Robert G Hagans This is the final chapter of the series. It ties up all the loose ends.... [2,450 words]
Polar Bear by John G Gorman The mental collapse of the quintessential upper middle age, expendable corporate executive. Locke wh... [1,307 words]
Lawson's Last Stand by John G Gorman An ordinary man's desire to maintain his anonymity and that of the authors whose work he re... [3,862 words]
Goodbye by Shane Cupp Valerye has just told Anthony she is going on a space voyage with her parents and siblings and she will... [4,987 words]
Tears Of Blood by Amir Mohammed A tense on edge Story. Can be discribed as horror fiction. This extract from the story is action... [4,010 words]
This Flight Tonight by David Godden Ask for what you want in life, but do not be surprised when you get it and then you are ask... [4,579 words]
The Long Way Home by Glen Pearson It was just a normal party. But after what happened I just had to get home. But would I mak... [4,071 words]
Skin by Sabir Ahmed A story about racial prejudice. [2,508 words]
Paying The Rent by Duane Simolke In this politically incorrect tale, an inarticulate young man hopes to marry a rich woman so he... [5,817 words]
No Time For Kisses by Sharon J Grata A story about a marriage made in hell. A well known heart surgeon seems to have no heart at ... [3,393 words]
If I Die Before I Wake by Sarah Levine Sahara descriptive shortstory of guilt and a young girl's agony over an event she was powerless... [1,049 words]
I Was Treeplanting One Day by Darcy K Metz This may not resemble the mind of any real treeplanters out there, so take no offens... [1,957 words]
Haven by Tyler Moretz Story of a city that draws the supernatural to it. [57,922 words]
Final Kiss by James Cartwright Not a cry for help. [394 words]
In The Light Of A Shadow by Robert G Hagans A professional killer tries to escape her violent past...no one said it would be easy... [3,952 words]
Halfway To Zero by Christie Bane Smoking too much pot nearly causes a terrible accident at an amusement park. [2,511 words]
Dad's Death And A Lesson In Tipping by John C Smith A contrast in emotions. [446 words]
The Sound Of Laces by Sunny a womans erotic night is sparked by her high heeled leather boots. [830 words]
The Gnome's Feast by Martin John Devecka Dr. Z A bitter man's encounter with the supernatural leaves him disappointed. [3,895 words]
The Dragon And The Tiger-Bob Gets His W.I.S.H. by Lawrence Peters Humorous wildlife adventure [1,614 words]
That Saturday Night by Alberto Pupo A story of inner struggle and disbelief [766 words]
Remember Me by Tanea Jordan (The characters and events in this story are fiction. Although the settings and places may be real,... [11,415 words]
Quanta, The Liar by Rita A. Lott Quanta, The Liar is about what went on between two families that lived next door to eachother.... [3,392 words]
Naked by ~Blythe~ - [356 words]
Luca And The Boy With The Thorn In His Side by Christopher Ward - [3,582 words]
Feelings by ~Blythe~ Kind of came from a dream I had one night. [500 words]
Cherry Icee 'hello' by Tyler Mason A short narrative through the eyes of a young boy. Set in a Gas Station in his hometown. [1,679 words]
Changeling by Cailean Darkwater The Faces we wear in everyday life. [1,366 words]
Big Brother by Mark Herner A big brother watches his "little" brother grow up to lose his wife to cancer. [1,991 words]
What Dogs Really Think.... by Darcy K Metz This is simply a beginning of what I believe Dogs think of humans. [412 words]
Long Walk Back by Toni Jaquay Lynch Forbidden Rendezvous. [1,543 words]
The Church by Matt Tracy One man has an experience. One like he has never had before, and for good reason [3,463 words]
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A young girl who recently left for college finds herself in an intimate relationship with another woman. She discovers that the relationship is acceptable at college, but not in the conservative small town she grew up in. Her emotional immaturity leads her to deny both this specific relationship and her general attraction to women.
The author is originally from California. She currently resides in New York, where she trains guide dogs, hates the winter, and tries desperately to get something published.
|AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (1)
Halfway To Zero (Short Stories) Smoking too much pot nearly causes a terrible accident at an amusement park. [2,511 words]
When I got back to Santa Cruz after going home for Christmas, I let Claire hug me first. I savored it, trying to memorize the feeling of her arms around my neck and her face against mine so I could recall it later, when I didn't have her anymore. Then I told her that if we really weren't gay or bisexual, as we both knew we weren't, we should start dating guys. She let go of me and said okay, not looking emotional or anything, but then she went into her room and shut the door and turned on the Cranberries really loud, like she always does when she's depressed. And later, when we went to dinner in the dining hall with our other suitemates, I saw that her eyes behind her glasses were red and swollen. She said her contacts had been bugging her, but of course I knew the truth.
I never meant to have a girlfriend. I always liked guys, and I wasn't tomboyish to an extent as a child, or anything. I never had anything against people living an "alternative lifestyle" (one of the many ways people in my home town avoided having to say "gay"), but I always felt that I was pretty straight. So, when I met Claire, I had trouble identifying the way I felt about her. At first I just thought she was the best friend I'd ever had. But I found out differently. She _was_ my best friend, but I'd had best friends before. I'd never had a girlfriend.
It was nice. Worlds different from being with a guy.
But we weren't lesbians. We told each other that. Promised.
That's what I kept in mind when I went home for Christmas, that's the only way I could go home, because individuals leading the "alternative lifestyle" just aren't cool in small towns.
I didn't know Claire would be that angry when I agreed to go out with that guy Aaron from my biology lab. I mean, from the beginning we told each other that we weren't lesbians, not even bisexuals, just in love with each other.
I _was_ in love with her, too, don't think I wasn't.
It's just that, when I went home, for the first time out of the protective, tolerant bubble we lived in at the University, I got some idea of what it would mean to have a girlfriend when you were a girl in the real world. And I didn't like it, not at all.
It sounds stupid, but I made my decision because of a spot on the six o'clock news that showed a gay rights group doing some kind of a toy collection project for disadvantaged children. My mother and sister and I were in the living room, relaxing after a huge dinner. "Hey, Mom," I said, like I was making a joke. "I belong to that group! I'm a lesbian!" The words sounded strange on my tongue. I'd never said them before, not even in jest.
"You'd better not be, Danielle." She looked at me sternly, like I'd said I was a devil-worshipper. "Those people are sick! God didn't make us like that. They're abnormal."
"Ewwww," added my younger sister.
After that, I just shut up. Why bother?
So that's what I come from. A bunch of small town homophobes. And I sold out to them. I really did. I imagined my mother looking at Claire in disgust if I introduced her as my lover, and I thought that would be the most painful thing that ever happened to me, to have someone look at Claire like that. So I decided to end it.
The next week I went out with Aaron, who was tall and gangly and had a noticeable lack of social skills. But that didn't matter; he had a dick and I went to dinner with him and therefore I was straight, no funny stuff going on here. I even let him kiss me. A girl living an alternative lifestyle certainly wouldn't let a guy kiss her.
"I'll miss you, Dani," Claire said to me, the day she moved off-campus.
"It's not bad to go out with a guy," I said, feeling defensive even though she wasn't accusing me of anything. Not out loud, anyway. "I like guys. So do you, Claire, we both do, remember?"
"Yeah, right." She wasn't supposed to say that; neither of us were. For just a second, looking into her eyes, I wanted to break the rules too, and to hell with my family and my hometown and anyone else who disapproved. But of course I didn't -- I'm a sell-out, after all. Sell-outs don't break rules.
So Claire is gone, leaving me with some stupid guy who won't stop calling and a pillow that's wet with tears every morning and night. My mother's happy that I went out with a guy. People here are surprised; they used to call me and Claire Girlies, which is sort of an affectionate term for girls with girlfriends in my dorm. They don't call me Girlie anymore, just Dani.
I hope my mother is proud of me. I hope someone is.
|READER'S REVIEWS (5)
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"Cool! You go girl! :-)" -- The Cheerleader, Tyna Aberdeen.
"Well... that would explain why it's so difficult for me to get a date." -- EC Allen.
"you being a knobend would explain why you can't get a date." -- Robert o'boyle, Dublin.
"Hey... maybe he's right!" -- EC Allen.
"not as good as your other story. the dilemma and the tears are well presented, but you needed to further flesh out the nature/emotions of their relationship. at what point was it physically and emotionally? that would make the heartbreak of the whole small town thing more moving." -- sunny, DC, usa.
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© 1996 Christie Bane
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