Grief... What exactly is grief? I tend to think of it as mourning the loss of something. This can be anything from not being able to achieve a goal we had set for our self, a change in our financial stage, or even the passing of a loved one. There are many explicit meanings to the word "grief" itself of course,�everyone has a unique interpretation of what it means to them. Although, I think we can all agree that grief does cause a feeling of discontent, sadness, sorrow. Which is why I'm sharing my story.
Months ago, I lost somebody very special to me. Things were like a fairytale in the beginning. We instantly felt a connection. Like even though we were complete opposites, that didn't matter because we understood each other. We fell in love, things were moving pretty fast. I'll never forget that feeling of being in his arms. He made me feel safe. Like, he could protect me from all the evil in this world. It didn't last long before things would fall apart. We got used to each other, we argued, and we made up. Then we would repeat it every single day. I didn't think that one day things would come to an end. That one day, he would eventually leave, and so he did. My world felt like it was coming to a complete end. I felt hopeless, shattered. I felt like, I would never be able to be the same person without him. It's true. He made me a happier person. The thing is, I was living with guilt. I felt like everything was entirely my fault. Like I wasn't doing enough for him. Like I could have done more. I wasn't being desperate but I was trying to save my relationship. Nothing I could do, or say would ever bring him back. I couldn't stop fighting because I loved him so much. At that moment, I was emotionally unstable. He did hurt me, He did disappoint me, but I don't blame him. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't mine. People grow apart, people change, it's the cycle of life. There are some things I will never find in my heart to forget, but I do forgive. I forgive him, but more importantly I forgive myself. The pain is still there, just not as strong, but it will always be there. Threre's not a day that goes by where he doesn't cross my mind. He was more than special. He was my everything. The biggest thing he taught me was acceptance. In the beginning, I was in denial. I did not want to let go. As long as I held onto the past I wasn't able to move forward with my life. That as long as I kept reminiscing, everyday would be the same. I would be sitting in the same place, doing the same thing. Every single day. I had to find the courage. I had to remind myself that he wasn't the same person he used to be. He may look the same, but that character- That I fell in love, the one that was once there, was gone. That the person I was looking at was now a complete stranger. So I shouldn't feel bad because things happen when you least expect them to. I didn't see it coming, nobody saw it coming, but I had to learn to accept the truth. I had to remind myself, it wasn't me that was afraid to put up a battle- it was him. I'm a fighter. If you were in a relationship, and things ended you're not alone. There are people out there, everyday, like me and you who were once or are still struggling. Things don't happen overnight. Change doesn't happen overight. But you have to allow yourself to be happy. You have to keep fighting. We are all warriors, we are all writing our own stories, walking our own paths. Just because you lost someone you truly loved doesn't mean it is the end of the world for you. There are amazing people out there waiting for you. Before you allow yourself to fall in love again, you have to learn to love yourself. It's not okay to be a selfish person- but a little selfishness is okay. You have to take care of yourself. Remind yourself daily, that you are one of a kind. That you are strong. I believe in you and I also believe beautiful things are yet to come your way. Until this day, I am not fully healed but I am living. There are a lot of things I learned about myself. For instance, I am not as negative as I thought I was. I'm actually a pretty positive person. That as long as I keep giving off this positive energy, the world will eventually deliver me great things. There are a lot of things you will discover about yourself. Everyday is a brand new day to start over. Remember, the rest of your life is still unwritten.�
No matter what situation you are currently in, give yourself time to heal. I promise the outcome will be inevitable.�
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