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A con artist appears on a television show to talk about her experience with meeting her supposed guardian angel. Chaos ensues when her real guardian angel shows up.
My stories are inspired by dark comedy, psychological mind thrillers, parodies, and funny little observations about life.
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|AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (1)
Baby Mama (Short Stories) A typical day at the mall or so it seems. Twelve year old girl gets mistaken as a (very) young mother. [1,873 words] [Humor]
The audience is patiently waiting. Some bought
their tickets off of eBay at $200 a pop. They came to see
a woman by the name of Maggie Dunright. Maggie
Dunright used to be the go-to girl at a local classic
oldies radio station. Now she speaks to thousands of
eager people at conventions and at hotels who want to
hear about her out of body experience and the angel that
saved her life.
A few years back one slippery night while driving
along the highway, she was in a terrible car accident.
She was knocked out unconscious. She survived with only
one scar, which happens to be in a shape of a cross, if
you look at it at a certain angle. She claims to have seen
an angel sent from God and somehow helped her realized
her purpose in life is to have people pay her money to hear
her speak in leaky tents and in stuffy, hot convention centers.
Maggie Dunright never actually saw an angel that
night she supposedly "died" for a few seconds. She claims
to have seen her guardian angel and his name was Michael.
She was indeed knocked out unconscious from the accident.
But she never had an out of body experience and she never
saw her real guardian angel, whose name is Samuel by the
way. It's all part of an elaborate scheme to make a fast buck.
But not even Samuel can blame Maggie for wanting
to get out of that radio job. Radio jocks that don't bother to even
shower every couple of days because of that fact that people
only care about their voice and what they have to say. Their
uncandidly ability to turn everything she says into some sort
of sexual innuedo.
But what's been bothering Samuel is the miniscule
fact that Maggie's new job involves deceiving good people
into thinking that she had a divine intervention and tricking
people into opening their wallets in exchange for a fairy tale
so deluding that not even the Wicked Witch of the West
could dream up.
What's the worst thing in this all scheme of Maggie
Dunright is that she's taking Samuel, her real guardian
angel, down with her.
Samuel is sitting in the audience. But being an
angel of course, no one can see or hear him. The camera
men are done with the soundcheck. The host makes a few
dumb jokes about some popstar that was engaged, married,
and divorced within a week. The host made a comparison
of the popstar to a fruit fly. Samuel wasn't really paying
attention to the jokes, although at times it was hard to tell
when the host actually told a joke since most of them fell
flat. The host didn't seem to care that not everyone laughed
at every joke. Samuel figured that they would just put a laugh
track in before the show aired later tonight.
After the commercial break, this would be the moment
Samuel has been waiting for. Maggie Dunright was the first
guest to be interviewed.
"I saw a glorious tunnel of light. Right as the car was
crashing, I saw flashes of my life right before my eyes. My
fifth birthday party. When my family adopted a stray cat when
I was twelve. The night of my high school's homecoming dance.
I saw myself dancing with my husband on my wedding night.
When I heard the news that my cat was hit by a car. The birth
of my son. I saw my whole life before my eyes in a fraction
of a second."
Samuel laughed, "Right, go on and name all the
cliches of death. The tunnel of light, an angel wearing white
and carrying a harp. What's next, your dead and fried cat
comes back to life from the backyard in which your father
"I was standing next to my body out there on the highway.
A man came walking down the road, appearing to want to help.
I noticed he was wearing all white, and carrying something. He
spoke to me, he said my name. I wondered how he knew my
name since I had never seen him before. 'Maggie,' he said,
'you have a family back home. It's not your time to go.'"
" I noticed that object in his arms was a harp. He saw
me looking at it and he explained who he was. He was an
angel. My guardian angel. Before he left, he told me that his
name was Michael and that we would be meeting again
someday, but not for a very long time."
"What was it like being dead, " the host says with
a forced chuckle.
"Yes, it may sound weird, but I didn't feel any pain
at all. I felt...like I was experiencing life for the first time. I
felt so free."
The camera screens went hay wired. The images
twisted but they straightened out in a matter of a few
"Tell us about your guardian angel, Michael?" inquired
"All right. Well, his name is Michael, like you said, "
Maggie gave a nervous laugh. "He said he had a message,
that he was sent from God.
"What did he look like?" the host interrupted.
"Well, he has shoulder length blonde hair, the most
welcoming smile you'd ever seen. A very soft and warm voice.
It was a little strange because I knew I had never met or seen
him before, but when I was talking to him, I felt connected to
him, you know? I could feel into the depths of his soul."
Samuel looked down at his own black skin, felt his
shaved bald head with his hands and snarled, "That bitch."
The camera started to go haywire a little bit again.
One the techincal crew called out in a hoarse whisper, "It's
doing it again. Call the booth." But before the assistant could
call the booth, the cameras turned off.
"I think we blew out a fuse or something," an camera
man said outloud.
"No, everything else is working. Just not the cameras."
The director signaled to the host that something was
wrong. The host threw his hands in the hair, mouthing, "What
Samuel, even though no one could hear or see him,
responded, "I thought I'd divinely intervene. But don't hate me,
I'm just the messenger."
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© 2006 Crystal Leslie
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