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TITLE (EDIT)
Significance-First Draft |
DESCRIPTION
The first draft of my script. It is the simple story of a teenage girl on a soccer team. May seem boring, but my sole mission in my sripts are to make stories that are almost completetley devoid of cliches and melodrama. I just want to make a story that's real, no more no less. No flashy scenes, no sappy scenes. This version is a bare bones one, with all the spelling and formatting errors (such as too many "cut to"s) still intact. My next draft will be better, but I hope to get reviews on this version as well. Thank you all, and enjoy.
[9,272 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Drama |
AUTHOR
Patrick Collins |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
I am a 15 year old writer from Indianapolis, Indiana. I write poems, books, and songs. But my greatest passion is for film. My intrests range from Harry Potter, to Tarantino, to Billy Joel. I hope every one enjoys my work!
[February 2005] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (14)
As The Stars Streak By (Poetry) I A poem that is in my new book "BPD: Danger Rising". I figured I would post it by itself to see what people thought of it. Enjoy! [64 words] [Spiritual]
Bpd: Danger Rising-Part 1 (Novels) This is the fifth book in the series that used to go by the name of "Smith & Ronalds". I changed it becuase other characters are playing a bigger role in the story than before. The story picks up righ... [6,876 words]
Depth (Poetry) A poem about trying to find out who you are and what you place in the world is, an eternal struggle that we all face. [145 words]
Light And Dark (Poetry) A peom about my greatest love: cinema. This poem is a celebration of the world of film. I hope you like it! [170 words]
On And Offf (Poetry) A poem about confusion and distress, and the struggle to overcome it. [180 words]
Smith & Ronalds: A Time Of Change (Novels) The third entry in the Smith & Ronalds series. It focuses on the 1996 presidental election. Hector, Trev, Dave, Carrie, and Cedric all have to cope with the dargerous side-effects of politics. [5,620 words] [Drama]
Smith & Ronalds: The Murder Of The Prisoners (Novels) The first story in my series. It is the story of two detectives who team with a Hematologist to stop a mysterious vigilante on the lose in Indiana. [9,467 words] [Crime]
Smith & Ronalds: The Shawdow In The Alley (Novels) My second re-post. It is the second volume in my sereie. It ounce again takes place at S3 of the Bloomington Police Department. Dave and Trev ounce again team with Dr. Hector Stone to track down a kil... [5,969 words] [Crime]
Smith & Ronalds-Origins & Conclusions (Novels) The fourth volume in my sereis, and the last one to go by 'Smith & Ronalds'. The story is as follows: Detectives Trevor E. Smith and David Ronalds team ounce again with Carrie B. Moss and Cedric Madis... [10,812 words] [Drama]
The Immortal Seed (Poetry) A poem about something that we all have within us, and something that aides us more then anything else. [149 words]
The Round Dams (Poetry) A poem about concealed sadness and the reluctance to let it free. [171 words]
Thirst (Poetry) "Why?": The universal question we all ask. When we ask that, we are often in need of something, something that is beyond our grasps. This poem is about that need we all feel, even if what that is is f... [90 words]
Where Have The Times Gone? (Poetry) A poem about the loss of something that was always uncertain. It is about what we sometime want to lose, but should never be lost: friendship. [128 words]
Winter To Spring (Poetry) A poem about hope, and the eduring power of the human spirit. [161 words]
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READER'S REVIEWS (5)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Hi patrick, I read ur screenplay and it is one of the best scripts that i,ve read so far. However, sorry that i didn't find ur email address on the web. I'm anspiring filmamker and I would very much like to make your screenplay into a film. Please contact me on the email address if you get this message of mind. Thanks wilson" -- Wilson M, Sydney, Australia, NSW.
"It is a great honor that someone has taken such interest in my script. But, I must ask how old you are and where you come from before I can give out any personal info. Nothing personal, but there are lots of creeps on the internet. But I am very anxious to here more about this offer, for I am almost done writing the second draft of this script, so please keep me updated on your interest. My second draft will be posted soon, and all responses to this topic get sent to my e-mail address" -- Collins, In, In, US.
"Hi Collins. It is nice to hear back from you and I can almost feel your say that there are some" Creeps" on the internet. However, I'm not like that...I'm a student at Sydney International Film School in Syd Australia. And my area of study is directing, writing and producing. I can write myself and have made couple of short films that screened on our locals film festivals. But i was really look directing a story written by someone esle. So i search around and found ur story as a moving, simple story of dreams, passions and determination of a young girl who want to be good at what she like to do! So i could say that ur story is the best that I have never read on this web. It's also very great that u have redraft the story and developed it because if i were to make it, we can actaully be looking at 90 mins movie. I really want to do this story if you could give me that chance. i can see ur characters clearly in my head! Please I'm be looking forward to hear back from you soon. My age is 21. i'm old enough! Thanks you so much for getting back to me. Wilson" -- Wilson M, Sydney, Australia, NSW.
"Hi Again. Can u email me direct this time? my email is [email protected] We would be able to talk further and safer there then. Thanks" -- Wilson M, Sydney, Australia, NSW.
"Hi patrick, this is a wonderful screenplay, I'm not much of a sporting fan but this doesn't just deal with soccer it deals with life... which is really difficult to achieve at 15/16 years old.. would you allow it to become a theatre play for a drama class at school?" -- Chloe, NSW, Australia.
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2004 Patrick Collins |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
November 2004 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
730
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