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Wild Abandon Di
A selection of monologues from the play Wild Abandon
Wild Abandon Di
Doesn't every kid want a black room? I do. Black
walls, black ceiling, black floors, black
curtains on the window. The kind where only a
thin slit of light gets in, and in that light
you can see all the dust and loose hair. Yeah!
But of course, I never got my black room. Most
kids never do. They spend their entire lives
looking for 'em.
I had a cat once. Now he didn't have a name, and
people thought it was weird not to name your cat,
but you know what? I don't think they want names.
Now when me and my cat was alone I did this
certain, I did this certain test. Interesting.
Now the first thing that I would do is I'd pick
my cat up, and I'd throw him across the bedroom!
10, 12 times, not towards anything, just onto the
bed. Next, I'd take his front legs and his back
legs, and I'd twirl him over my head like this,
16 times! Then, I'd find a garbage can, I'd open
the lid, put the cat inside, close the lid, and
I'd bang on the side of that garbage can! 10
seconds maybe. Then, oh man, I'd stand back,
I'd open that lid and watch him fly. It's
something I can't really describe to you, its just
something you've gotta see. Now I didn't like
doing that to him. I didn't do it to him cause I
liked it. I did it to watch him fly. No, no no no
no! The real reason why I did it was to help him
realize how lucky he is to have his freedom.
Superstiion, you can tell by the way he's
stretched out in the morning sun. But at night,
he doesn't remember a thing. Cats... I'm glad I
told you that.
People scream! They're supposed to scream! Don't
ever worry about screaming. Shave the walls, crack
the ceiling... the only time you should worry is
when there is no screaming!
The egg. Somebody gives you something, somebody in
your family, somebody you just met, somebody you
don't know, somebody you don't like, they give
you something; even if you don't want it it's
yours. Now because there is only one of you, and
there is only one of me, and they gave you to me
that makes you... mine. And I, me, can do whatever
I want with what is mine, right? So all we have
to do is figure out what it is we wanna do, and
when we figure that out... what is it?
The day they killed the duck in the pond, I was
there. I had a book, I was pretending to read.
I used to do that when I was a kid, pretend to
read so I could watch. After a few minutes I
hear a shouting, a splashing, so I go around and
check. Now these boys they're, they're throwing
rocks into the middle. And at first I can't see
what it is they're throwing at. And then I see
it: a duck. They're just missing it, and this
duck is trying to swim to the other side of the
bay, and these boys are tearing across the pond,
I swear they are walking on water chasing after
this duck. Now they're going at with these rocks,
they're hitting the duck. Now I'm thinking,
I should do something, right? Yell? Scream? But
I don't. At first I think its cause, maybe its
because I'm scared! But I'm not. I wanted to
watch. They are killing something, killing
something! I've never seen something killed
before. It must be the most powerful feeling
in the world.
That was the day that changed my life! See that?
That was your brain working. That's where all
the action is. So how come I cant see it, hm?
How come I can't see the action! Maybe its
because, maybe it's because you see this egg
here, all you see is the shell. But on the inside
is all the real stuff, all the live stuff.
Now I could break it and crack it, but then it'd
be dead. I could cook it and eat it, but then
it'd be dead. No, no no no no no! Just like this
hen. The hen's in the egg here, all we have to
do, is wait. Alright, I'll wait.
You're born, you work, and then ya die. You're
born, you work, you die, you're born, you work,
you die, you're born you work you die! And in
between that, there's all that other stuff.
Stuff! You eat, you sleep, you breathe, you eat,
you sleep, you breathe, you eat, you sleep, you
breathe, it's one big chain! Now lets say you
take out one of the links: you take breathing.
You say I'm not gonna do that anymore, so you
don't! Stop breathing! Hold your breath.
But don't freak out. Everybody has an option,
option. You can either do this or that, have
toast or cereal, get out of bed in the morning
or throw your alarm clock across the bedroom!
And this rope here. This rope here is my option.
And this chair. This chair is the step to my
option. Now I can either wait around here for
something to happen, something to truely happen.
Or, I can take my stairway to heaven.
Nobody knows what its like, to be the bad man,
to be the sad man.
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