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TITLE (EDIT)
My Dog Opposes Communism |
DESCRIPTION
Actually submitted to a high school teacher. I guess I was feeling like a rebel at the time. I still like it, I suppose. It's interesting.
[862 words] |
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor |
AUTHOR
Tcn |
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
-
[October 2000] |
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
[email protected] |
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (2)
A Place I'd Like To Forget (Essays) Another school piece. Writing about a grocery store job I held during the summer. I really didn't like that job. [898 words] [Humor]
That's Ratings Suicide! (Short Stories) A satiric story done on one cynical night. [545 words] [Mind]
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My Dog Opposes Communism
Tcn
I can�t recall what kind of day it was when this essay was assigned. There�s a part of me who wants to say it was a dreary day, because those are the best kinds of days to reflect back on and make profound sweeping statements. However, I simply can�t remember whether the day was a vile, dreary one or a light-hearted day of sunshine and lollipops. Regardless, it was the day when this project was assigned, I can be sure of that. Essays are something I secretly possess a love for, something appeals to me about spouting out a random stream of consciousness, and then putting it into a format that has never really been defined.
There was the small matter of the topic, though. It was assigned to be a personal comparative essay, which is certainly a broad field open to a huge variety of topics and a massive assortment of opinions. I considered this a great change from the simplistic �State your opinion on Hitler. Hint: He was bad� essays of past years. It was with this great excitement in mind that I set out to not begin writing the essay until the very last minute.
It wasn�t totally a case of procrastination. I was certainly thinking about the assignment; I had a wide variety of topics in mind, but I simply couldn�t choose. When the deadline finally came, I realized I still had no idea on what topic I was going to employ. It was down to the wire and I had to make a choice quickly. I had whittled down my wide array of choices into simply two. They are, of course, �Today�s Music versus Good Music�, and �The decline of communism in the consumer market vs. the rise of immorality in the capitalistic society.� You can obviously see the bind I�m in.
I believe the first topic to be a good one. There is a certain charm to writing about something as trivial as music. Add that to the fact that I have a great deal of passion for the subject and you may be thinking that I have no reason not to do this topic. The reason I am still unsure as to why this would be a good topic for me to write about is that it seems to be very cliched. Being a grade 12 English student, I feel like it is my duty to write about the hard-hitting issues that face society, not why Britney Spears should go away forever. This issue could be overcome, though, as I have very little time to be worrying about my literary worth as a writer � this essay is due tomorrow.
The major factor in my resistance to this topic is that I may have too much passion for it. Due to this, I may make broad sweeping generalizations that are out of place in a high school essay. I do not think a wonderful teacher like yourself would be pleased with an essay titled �Ricky Martin should be dragged out to the street and shot�. While this above statement is undeniably true, it is simply not appropriate.
The second topic is an interesting one. If I did write an essay on �The decline of communism in the consumer market vs. the rise of immorality in the capitalistic society�, I have no doubt in my mind that it would impress several teachers. It may even lead to me being presented an award from a high-ranking literary magazine, such as the Toronto Sun.
The downside, of course, is the incredible amount of research that would be required to write on such a subject. Research isn�t something you just dive into, like mountain climbing or a pit of plastic balls, it requires a person who is organized, responsible and has a good work ethic. I have none of these things. I am lazy, a procrastinator and more disorganized than the Ontario school system. There is simply no way I had the time to do the kind of research required for a hefty topic like this.
As you have undoubtedly noticed, I tend to ramble in my writings. Without research my rambling increases roughly a million times. On many history essays, with subjects such as the Black Death or the Depression, I have written paragraphs about my pet Dog. Now, my Dog has very little to do with the Black Death or the Depression, but without proper research I almost always end up writing about him. This would definitely be a pothole with an essay of this intellectual magnitude.
So, having carefully weighed both topics in my mind for roughly 6 hours � most of which was spent playing videogames � I am still without a topic. Although both of my potential topics have great positives, each one has a nasty negative that prevents me from using it. So I am left without a topic and without an essay. This was supposed to be a personal comparative essay, but I have no topic and I have nothing to personally compare. With both topics out, there has to be a compromise. Now I just have to figure out what that is.
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READER'S REVIEWS (6)
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"heh. It was pretty clever, though it lacked a little direction. I guess you weren't really aiming for anything anyway. It is a pretty bold piece of writing, that pretty much casually admits what most of us highschool students really wouldn't like teachers to know. I wonder what your teacher gave you for a grade." -- Michael Hunter.
"I like it a lot, and it was certainly a great topic for a school essay, especially since there was no topic. I bet your teacher has never seen anything like that before! I wonder as well; what was the grade?" -- Crazy Clown.
"I found this essay to be quite confusing and without structure. As he said he seemed to ramble about things that made absolutely not sense. This essay was a lack of motivation and a easy way out." -- Marty Nelson, normal, Il, USA.
"I'm one confused critic...I don't understand the aim of you're writing. Butstill it sounded good whatever it was. But what was the grade anyway?" -- Nikki, Ft. Worth, TX, United States.
"kinda funny, but terribly erratic and rambling all over the place...the title was the only funny thing in this piece and the thing which drew me here. i grade this C-" -- sunny, DC, usa.
"Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., ....
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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2000 Tcn |
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
October 2000 |
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
2252
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