When I Lived In Sodom
Musau

 

I just wanted to know what blue velvet was. I
thought it was a simple question at first.


I used to wear blue velvet all the time. I did
this to impress people. Why blue velvet? Because
a madman, I'm calling him Levy (but that isn't his
real name). He enlightened me to this particular
thing. I will not disclose Levy's real name for
fear that this story may fall into his hand.
Sometimes the revelations of heinous truths come
back to haunt you. Ghosts reside in slumber only
to be awakened by gossip...

I must confess that I am no angel. Furthermore, I
am just like the other fellow. I lie sometimes; I
may even curse on occasion; yes, sometimes, I for-
nicate; I steal, too; I covet other men's women;
but, that's it. Well, I do drink alcoholic bever-
ages, beer, gin, brandy, and moonshine whenever I
can get my hands on it. Okay, well, that's not
all; I smoke a little marijuana every once and
awhile, but I don't mess with crack; I prefer the
real stuff, cocaine. I do not mess with prosti-
tutes, because I fear contracting AIDS or some
other abominable malady. Well, I do mess with a
few whores. Most of them seem to be clean. I do
not engage in homosexual activities, but I have
slept with a lot of men.

I know all this sounds a little strange, but be-
lieve me, I'm telling the truth and nothing but
the truth.

I had to make these confessions before I could go
any further with this story. First, I had to put
all the cards on the table so that I would be able
to get a serious point across. This point is
about blue velvet.

Does anyone really know what blue velvet is? It
can get you into trouble. I have known of inci-
dents where inquisitive people have been dis-
owned by their families, put in prison, and some
have lost their lives only because they asked-
"What is blue velvet?"

It was a madman who educated me. This man,Levy,
had a bullet stuck in his brain. No one under-
stood how he survived, and you would not know that
he had a bullet in his brain unless he told you.
He looked like a normal human being, and he walked
around just like the rest of us. But Levy was a
nut!

When he told me about blue velvet, I was trans-
formed and intrigued. Let me tell you a little
about blue velvet. First, blue velvet is an idea.
Yes, blue velvet is an idea. This idea is so pro-
found that cultures have become extinct only be-
cause they refused to leave this idea alone. The
so-called wise men could not leave well enough
alone; instead, they pursued the forsaken unknown
just to satisfy a selfish longing for an answer to
the question-"What is blue velvet?"

For the sake of humanity, I would rather leave blue
velvet alone, but for the sake of curiosity, I'm
going to tell you what blue velvet is. But, be-
fore I can make this revelation, I must first tell
you about Levy.

You must accept this premise-'Insanity is rela-
tive'. Remember this, in history, most of the
great thinkers were considered insane in their own
life time, but, now, these same men are considered
prodigies. Levy is no prodigy, but he has grasped
a critical concept which in the long run will af-
fect all of us, i.e., mankind, humanity...

I will tell you about this thing, but first you
must open your mind. It's very serious, and I
think everyone should tune in.

This is how Levy got me interested in blue velvet:
He told me about this story of a man who went a-
round asking the question-"What is blue velvet?"
The first time he asked this question his family
kicked him out of the house. The second time he
asked this question, he was assaulted. The third
time he asked this question, he was put into a fede-
ral prison; and the last time he asked this ques-
tion, he was hit by a car!

Me. I just wanted to know 'what was blue velvet?'
That's all. But it is amazing, sometimes, how a
simple question can cause havoc!

Now, what is blue velvet? I'll tell you one thing,
this is not something you should play with, because
there are some questions that should never be asked.
I am willing to share something concerning blue
velvet, but you must first set your mind right so
that you will be able to receive this education
without personal prejudices...Blue velvet is dan-
gerous! There is no justice, and the equality of
men is just an illusion. Blue velvet is top secret
and confidential; and once you have grasped the true
meaning of blue velvet, you'd better not talk about
it to anyone, especially, to anyone who works for
the government. It takes time to digest its full
meaning. However, I will tell you about blue velvet
hoping that once you get this information, you will
use it wisely.

Let me tell you a few more things about Levy. Before
he got shot in the head, he was incestuous; he en-
gaged in homosexual activities, and he prided him-
self in being a sexual deviant. He experimented
with every know illegal drug, and he was a murderer.
Now, by this time, anyone should be a little para-
noid. I know, I would be, because it looks like he
is a dangerous character. Levy is/was dangerous!
So, you'd better prepare yourself for what I am
about to tell you about blue velvet.

When Levy began to tell me about blue velvet, it
scared me, but I was determined to deal with it,
and I did. That's why I am in a position to dis-
cuss it now. But, I must warn you to beware. When
you hear the rest of the story, something inside
of you is going to shake. Believe me!

I really want to talk to you in depth about blue
velvet. But, to really understand what blue velvet\
is you must understand the vessel of its source.
You must know Levy,and you must know what he did;
and you must know why, in spite of his diabolical
nature, why he was chosen to deliver a profound
message...

I am/was Levy's confidant. In fact, he has a very\
large family. He has seven sons and seven daughters;
who all attend the university. Levy's wife is a
nurse, and she is from a wealthy family. But, Levy
never attended school; he is a self made man. Perhaps
that's why the secret of blue velvet was revealed
to him. Why he revealed the secret to me is unknown
to me. But someday, I shall understand...

There is a definite peculiarity about blue velvet,
that is, once you have discovered what it is, you
are compelled by human compassion to explain
what blue velvet is. At first, you may think that
blue velvet is something very complicated. It's
not; it's simple, but you have to read between the
lines. This is the only way you can understand it.

If you have been already reading between the lines,
you should have asked yourself- "How was Levy able
to have fourteen children all at the university?"
If you did not consider this question, then I sug-
gest that you start to consider it now. You really
have to work hard to understand blue velvet; but
once the difficult task is completed, everything
becomes simple to understand.

When Levy sat down with me, he looked me sternly
in the eyes, and he said, "This is very important."

"What is?" I asked.

"Blue velvet."

"Blue velvet?" I repeated.

"Of course. Blue velvet is something you need to
understand."

"What is blue velvet?"

His eyes bucked and he said, "Don't ask that question."

"What?"

"You have to be careful what questions you ask," he
advised.

When he got my attention and began to tell me about
blue velvet, I thought it was a big joke. But, it
wasn't! You willn see. Immediately, after being
exposed to blue velvet, I began to see things that
I had never seen before; I began to make realizations
where before I was enlighened but still ignorant of
vital facts of life ...There is something else you
need to know before I tell you what blue velvet is-
Men tell lies; some men tell big lies. There are
some men who play with your intellect just for amusemment.
Levy was not that type of person, and when I tell
you how he explained blue velvet to me, you will
appreciate him. In spite of his dire imperfections,
you must respect him. Remember that all men are
imperfect.

If you recall, I made certain confessions about my
character. If you have already drawn conclusions,
you have defeated yourself, because the essence of
blue velvet resides in your own prejudicial outlook.
The irony of blue velvet is that in order to come to
a conclusion about it, you must be devod of conclusions.
I know this sounds a little strange, but this is
what Levy told me in order to open my eyes-

"The problem with earthlings is that you are so prone
to draw conclusions too quickly. I don't draw con-
clusions."

I asked- "What does that have to do with blue velvet?"

"Why is the sky blue?" he asked.

"I don't know. Tell me why."

"Of course, you don't know why," Levy said.

"Please tell me why," I implored.

"Isn't the ocean blue, too?"

"Sure," I said.

"Describe the American flag," he said.

"It's red, white, and blue."

"The flag is blue, white, and red," he countered.

"That's what I said!"

"You didn't say that. You said it was red, white,
and blue."

"It's all the same," I argued.

"Are you sure?"

"This is nonsense! What does blue velvet have to
do with this?"

Levy got up from his seat and looked out of the
window. Then he turned to me. His eyes were blood
shot. It seemed like he been transformed.

"What's going on, man?" I asked.

"You should not draw conclusions!"

"What?"

"I want to tell you about blue velvet."

"Well, tell me about blue velvvet. What is going
on here?"

"Blue velvet."

"Blue velvet?!"

"Yes, blue velvet," he said.

Then we heard sirens. Levy looked at me and said-
"A student just killed the principal at one of the
public schools."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Turn on the television," Levy ordered.

I did. There was a special broadcast. It was true!
A student had shot and killed one of the principals
at a public school! Levy had my attention, now.
At first, I was a little doubtful. But, then I
began to take him seriously. Indeed, I wanted to
know what blue velvet was. He began to talk to me
some more, and I paid attention. What was blue
velvet? And what did this school yard killing have
to do with it?

"You know about the bullet in my head?" he reminded
me.

"Yes."

"Tell me this," Levy said, "do you think I am crazy?"

"Damn!" I said. "I think you are a freaking fruit-
cake! If you really want my honest opinion. A stone
nut!"

"That's what I figured," he smiled.

"What is this blue velvet?" I asked.

"I'll tell you if you promise to not draw conclusions."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"I mean blue velvet."

"Blue velvet."

"Yes, blue velvet," Levy said.

"I got it!" I said. "Blue velvet is an idea."

"Bingo!" he shouted.

"Tell me more!"

"You know about as much as you need to know."

"What?"

"Blue velvet will eat you up, and then it will vomit
you out," he said.

"But, I still don't know what blue velvet is."

"You do! You know what blue velvet is."

"I do?"

"Do you have a dream or aspiration?" he asked.

"Yes. Everyone has a dream of some sort."

"See. You have drawn a conclusion. Everyone does
not dream. Some are twoo shallow to dream."

"What is blue velvet?"

"I warned you before not to ask that question. I
will give no more warnings," advised Levy. He was
really upset, and this put me in awe. What was all
this about-blue velvet? "You need to know about the
ant hill theory."

"The what?"

"The ant hill theory deals with seven levels of
human desires."

"Will it help me learn about blue velvet?"

"It is blue velvet!"

"Okay, tell me about it."

"On the first level," Levy started, "of this place
is the opportunity to enjoy all the nutrients which
keep the human being alive. On this level is all
the good foods- like chocolates,ice cream, all kinds
of fruits, especially the blue grapes."

"What? I'm completely lost."

"You will continue to be lost if you don't listen."

I became impatient and doubtful again. This had to
be a big joke! This thing called blue velvet had,
now, become irksome. The ant hill theory! I had
never heard of such nonsense.

"A girl was raped and sodomized on the west side of
town," he said.

"When?" I asked.

"Just now."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Pick up the phone and call the police."

I called the police station. A girl had been raped
and sodomized! "How do you know all these things?"
I asked.

"Blue velvet," he answered.

"What is going on?"

"Do you want to continue with the ant hill theory?"

"Continue," I submitted.

"On the second level of the ant hill is one man and
many women. The women are there to satisfy the desires
of the flesh with this one man."

"The second level?"

"There are seven. You must know about all of them,
You see, the second level of the ant hill theory gives
man an opportunity to explore all his sexual fantasies.
Here, there are women, beautiful women, fine women
of all the different racial groups. Pure and hot
sex! That's all. Sexual encounters. This one man
has complete control over each and everyone of them,
and he exploits them as he pleases."

This just didn't make sense to me. What did this
have to do with blue velvet?

"Don't ask the question," warned Levy. "You have
to follow me. I'll show you what blue velvet is.
But, you must pay attention. Close attention."

"Okay," I said. "Go on."

"All this I'm going to tell you about exist in a
distant place, somewhere else in the universe."

"What?" I exclaimed.

"Do you really want to know about blue velvet?"

"Yes!"

"Well, listen. The third level of the ant hill theory
deals with man in complete solitude where he uses
this level for meditation."

"Okay," I said. But, I was still confused. Blue
velvet. This blue velvet began to irk me. What
was it? How could some talk of a distant universe
have anything to do with blue velvet? He had sensed
that I was becoming annoyed and impatient. He paced
around the room, and he kept looking out the window.
Then he stared at me and said, "I'll tell you about
blue velvet, but first you have to hear about the
ant hill theory."

"Ant hill theory? Blue velvet." I was beginning to
feel that I was going nowhere with this madman.
But, if you follow me, you will, indeed, discover
about the mystery of blue velvet.

Levy looked at me to see if I were paying attention
to him. "The fourth level of the ant hill involves
the solitudal man evolving into a demigod."

"Demigod?"

"On this level, man evoles into a superman."

"Where are we going with this? Demigod. Now. Super-
man. I don't see how any of this has anything to
with ..."

"This is blue velvet," interrupted Levy.

"It is?"

"It is."

"Okay!" I said. I was a little annoyed and impatient,
and he had gone too far with me! Now, I was determined
to find out what blue velvet was. I had resolved to
listen to him without anymore interruptions.

"The fifth level of the ant hill theory is where man
submerges his entire being with Nature. This is
where the ocean, the wind, and the basic elements
of the earth become part of him."

I wanted to say something,but I didn't. He kept talking
but I got lost somewhere...He continued to talk all
the way up to the seventh level...That was it! I had
sat patiently, and I had heard everything. I had to
reflect on all this because it just seemed pointless
and senseless. Then, I screamed- "What is blue velvet?"

Levy's eyes rolled to the top of his head- "Didn't I
warn you not to ask that question!"



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