Cold Eddie Kane
Albert Davis

 


I met Eddie Kane in Houston, Texas, back in November of 1971. I was there for reasons of my own, which are none of your damn business and won’t be mentioned here. At this point I feel it necessary to warn some of you readers. For me to tell you about Eddie it will require that I use a fair amount of profanity. To the sensitive I apologize and ask that you bear with me and understand the need.

 Eddie was a big man, not tall, but big. When Eddie stood in a doorway he filled it up from side to side, but you could still see everything going on behind him. He stood around 5’ 9” and almost 5’ 7” wide in the shoulders. If Eddie was wearing a gray suit he could possibly be mistaken for a block of granite. Eddie weighed anywhere from 250 to 270 pounds, depending on just how much steel he was carrying at the time. He was barrel chested with massive shoulders, thick arms, tree stump legs, no neck, and a bullet shaped head. Some people said that Eddie looked a lot like the Tasmanian Devil, you know from the cartoons. I didn’t hear many say it to Eddie though, and I never heard anyone say it to him twice. This could have been because Eddie wasn’t just a big fellow; Eddie was a big, mean, humorless, and dangerous fellow. He was as cold and heartless a man as I had ever met or even heard of. He was as merciless a Human Being as I had ever remembered from any page of history. He was more Hun than Attila, more Barbarian than Almrec, more scoundrel than Mr. Grinch, you get my drift? You could see the mean in the cruel cut of his hard obsidian eyes. You could look at Eddie Kane and just before you started to laugh, if you were lucky, you would look into those eyes and all thoughts of laughter would dissipate into thin air. There were many who were not lucky, some laughed, some joked, and some even made fun of him. You really could understand their mistake; after all if you didn’t see the eyes, it was easy to make a mistake. He was big and funny looking; he looked tough but not dangerous. And he appeared to be an easy target. Many times they didn’t see the eyes in time, so they never discovered the folly of their ways until Eddie was merrily breaking their bodies up in a number of unpleasant places. The danger would truly hit home when they realized that he had no intentions of stopping his loving ministrations. Too late, much too late.

Eddie didn’t know karate, kung fu, judo, or any other martial art, like all those make believe bad asses in the movies, but Eddie could really hurt you. I mean, really, really, hurt you; quick, fast, and in a hurry, no fuss, no muss, and no reprieve. I don’t mean to dwell on the point but I think it’s important for you to fully understand the kind of person I’m telling you about. Like I was telling you, Eddie could hurt you; he truly enjoyed doing it and he was very good at it. The whole time I knew him never once did I see him back away from violence; the fact was Eddie would always choose the most violent solution to any situation. When I first met Eddie he was working at a very rough bar in a very rough part of town as a bouncer, and it was reputed that he also did some leg breaking for a local hood on the side. Like I said, Eddie liked what he did.

Right here, I’m going to relate an incident to illustrate my point as clearly as possible. This is mainly for the most skeptical of my readers, but it will get the point across graphically to everyone.

I remember one time when Eddie was working and I was on one of my routine visits to Houston. I was sitting at the bar nursing a Chivas and Water, when this big football player type, I am not saying he was a ball player, but he could have been, started hassling one of the waitresses. The guy was with several of his buddies and they were all feel’n it, you know what I mean. Anyway the guy was grabbing the girl every time she came anywhere near his table, grab’n stuff he shouldn’t have. This had been going on for several minutes before Eddie went over to this gentleman’s table. Eddie asked the guy to lay off the lady because she had a job to do. The fellow looks at Eddie a second and then stands up. He towers over Eddie and is quite confident in his own strength; you can see the arrogance on his face.

This big son-of-a-bitch looks at Eddie and tells him, “Roll the fuck away from my table, before I fuck your sawed off, bullet head, ass, up.” I quote. The guy looks at his friends and everybody is laughing and having a great time at Eddie’s expense; big mistake. As I said before you only got one time to talk bad to Eddie. When this gentleman looks back at Eddie I can tell he seen the eyes. The boldness evaporated and in that instant he knew he had ef’d up...bad. Also in that instant, Eddie shifted his weight and snap kicked hard to the inside of the guy’s knee. I know you could hear the knee snap everywhere in the bar, because when it did, everybody stopped whatever they had been doing and looked. It took a second for what had happened to register in this guy’s brain, and then he screamed and dropped to his knees like a skull shot ox. I’m sure people passing by outside could hear the scream; at least what there was of it. As the big guy began to crumble, Eddie was already into his back swing and he cut the guy’s scream off like it was a light switch as he hit the guy in the jaw. You could hear that break too. By this time the fellow’s friends were moving to his aide. Another mistake. They were only half way out of their seats when they found themselves staring into the barrel of the big automatic Eddie had used to break the man’s jaw. When I looked into their faces, I could see they had looked into Eddie’s eyes, and they thought they were going to die.

 There were many in the bar that had the same thought too. Eddie didn’t shoot em though; instead he had the bartender dial 911 and told two of the guy’s friends to get him up and out of the club to wait for the ambulance. They did as they were told but a couple of them were giving Eddie some nasty looks. When the two who were picking their friend up had him supported between them Eddie suddenly drew back his leg and viciously kicked the unconscious man in the groin. Even in unconsciousness the man groaned in pain, the expressions on the face’s of his friends changed to looks of shock. As they hurriedly dragged their compadre from the place, everyone there knew these gentlemen would not be back...ever! This was the type of thing that earned Eddie the sobriquet, Cold Eddie Kane.

Eddie and I got along fine, he seemed to like me for some reason and I liked him as well. So, when I was in Houston, he and I started to hang around together; I wasn’t anything like Eddie, but people seemed to leave me alone just the same. Anyway, that was Cold Eddie Kane.

Eddie and I had been hang’n together for around a year or so when one day he came up to me at the bar and said, “Yo, Dog. We need ta rap, okay?” I told him sure, and then didn’t think about it anymore. The next morning I get a call and it’s Eddie, wanting to know if it would be okay to come over and talk. This is too totally strange, but I say sure, any time. Fifteen minutes later Eddie is knocking at the door. I am totally taken aback this behavior is puzzling. Because Eddie doesn’t need to knock, he has a key to the place; he used it all the time when I was out of town. When I opened the door there stood Eddie looking as uncomfortable as I had ever seen him, I was dumb-founded and a bit curious. I didn’t know what the hell was going on but I wanted to find out. From this point on I will be telling you this in the vernacular, as near as I can recall, to give you the true flavor of what transpired.

“What’s up, Dog?” I asked the confused looking Eddie standing on the threshold.
“Just need ta talk, Brother,” as he entered the apartment and looked around, looking for something or someone. I couldn’t tell and I have no idea who he thought would be there.

“Can I get ya some-thin, Bro?” I inquired as Eddie came in and plopped down in the easy chair.

“Nah Dog, just let me dust ya with this rap I got, O.K.” I nodded and took a seat on the couch. Then I began to meet an Eddie Kane, I never would have dreamed existed. The person I was introduced to that morning was so different that I often found myself checking to see if it was Eddie actually sitting across from me.

“Al”, Eddie hadn’t called me Al since the second time we had met, I wasn’t even sure he remembered that was my name. “Remember, a couple months ago, when I told ya I was headed back ta Chi-town ta take care a some business?” I shrugged my shoulders and nodded an affirmative and he continued. “Well, that ain’t where I went.” He paused a second, I just sat and waited for him to go on. “I went home, Dog. I know everybody thinks I’m from Chi-town, but that ain’t the truth.” Now this was news because to this point I had believed, as had everyone else, that Chicago was his home.

“The fuck you say! Where the hell you from?” My first and the simplest surprise of this series of revelations had just take’n place.

“Actually, Dog, I’m from Iowa.”
“From where?” I asked in disbelief. “No fucking way, I just ain’t believe’n this shit. You some kinda fuck’n farmer?” I laughed a small nervous laugh and looked at Eddie, who shook his head and smiled a little, then continued.

“No, ma man, that’s where I’m from and that’s where I went. I went ta see my Moms, Dog.” Hesitation. “I went ta see her cause she been sick for awhile now. Found out a ways back she got cancer of the lungs and she been die’n. When I seen her that time I know’d she wasn’t gonna make it. Dog, she was so tiny, man, I couldn’t hardly look at her Bro. It hurt so bad. She wasn’t no big woman ta start wit, but man she was just nothin, eyes all shrunk into her face and skin hang’n loose everywhere. I knowed Bro, I knowed.”

“That’s to bad Eddie, I’m sorry man.” I’m beginning to get a little uncomfortable with the trend this conversation is taking. This is not the Eddie I am used to, and I’m not sure what he wants or if I can give it to him. I’m also not too sure if I want to be part of what ever this is leading up to.

“Yea, thanks Bro, it’s okay.” Eddie puts his two big hands on the sides of his bullet head and I have to lean forward and listen carefully to hear what he says next. “They called me the other day Bro, she gone man, an I’m hurt’n.” The huge shoulders shudder and a heavy sigh escape from Eddie, and I swear to you I thought I heard a sob. Eddie looked up, sat back in the recliner, and stared vacantly at the ceiling for a couple of seconds. He leaned back and a sigh whispered passed his lips. The iron hard demeanor crumbled like the Biblical Walls of Jericho. Cold Eddie Kane looked weak, defeated, and vulnerable.

“Moms meant the world ta me, Dog.” His voice was distant and disconnected. “She raised me, my brothers, and sisters by herself; she got very little help from the seven of us, or anybody else, ya know what I’m say’n?” Rhetorical question, he continues without pause. “Yea Dog, she was a small woman, hell by the time I was twelve we was eye ta eye, then I started spread’n out. Anyway Momma had way too much trouble in her life, know what I mean. She was such a tiny thing and so much grief, way too much of it me. People used ta wonder how such a small woman could get saddled with boys as big as me an my brothers.

Anyway, Momma had a heart of gold and too many bad habits hear me Chief? Always look’n out for me an my bad ass brothers, see’n my sisters had whatever they needed, Momma cussed a bit, drank a little, and smoked way too much; smoke’n that’s what killed her in the end, ya know. She never did quit, ya know, went ta the grave smoke’n.” It looked as though I was going to hear Eddie’s life story; I leaned back on the couch and thought, damn I don’t want to hear this shit. But, since he had started back at his childhood it appeared this could take awhile, and hell he was a friend. “She weren’t no saint, Dog, but she didn’t deserve all the trouble she got. Like when that po ass, nigger daddy a mine left her for some po ass white trash bitch. Broke Mamma’s heart. I coulda killed his sorry, cheat’n ass, woulda too, if I had been a little bigger. Don’t think about it much anymore, but it hurt me too, Bro. Ya know what the real bitch of it is though, back then that simple minded shit seemed ta think drag’n my ass over ta see this bitch and their fuck’n kids was the fatherly thing ta do, can ya believe that shit?” Eddie pauses and looks at me. “What a dumb fuck.”

Eddie’s jaw was tense, the muscles knotted and tight, his brow furrowed, eyes hard, like the old Eddie. “Like I said, too much trouble for one woman; I know it wasn’t all his fault, Dog, but I didn’t care about that then and I don’t care about it now. He hurt Moms. Man, some times after he had left, I would hear her in her room cry’n, sometimes. Sorry fuck!”

This conversation was getting way too tense and I had started wishing my ass was in another time zone, tense is not what you wanted Eddie to be. Sitting there listening and watching as Eddie exposed his feelings to me was kind of scary. The big MF looked like he might cry or somethin; several times my mind turned to the thought of Eddie going postal, not a very pleasant thought. I was extremely relieved when he asked if he could have something to drink. The trip to the kitchen gave me a moment to gather my thoughts. I was about to pour us a couple of stiff shots of Scotch when thoughts of Eddie going postal crossed my mind, again. I popped the tops on a couple of cold beers and went back to the living room.

I handed him a beer, then went and sat in one of my dining room chairs that was setting in my living room, why I don’t know. The chair was in there, I mean, I sat in it because I felt the need to stay alert.

“Thanks,” Eddie said as he took the beer. He took a long hard swallow and then continued. “Shit was really tough on Moms and sometimes I feel kinda shamed, cause I wasn’t much help. Hell, I was in deep shit so often it’s a wonder the woman ever had time ta work, ya know what I’m say’n? Always come’n ta bail my black ass out of one trouble or another, my brothers weren’t much better’n I was, but not as bad ya see. I had em scared ta fuck up too bad, but they was a handful too. Bout the only light Moms ever saw was our sisters, Carol and Debbie. They was the pearls cast before swine, us boys being the swine. Believe me, Dog, me an my brothers took care a them girls, ya hear. Anybody fuck with them and we brung the pain.

Shit man, this one time, me an my brother Rick heard this mother-fucker talk’n bad bout our sister Carol. Man, we laid up for that ass, caught the motherfucker come’n out a the pizza place one even’n and fucked him up. Took his got-dam pizza too. Told his ass if we ever thought he said anything bout our sister again, next time it be a funeral. I can tell ya, didn’t hear no more loose talk bout neither one of our sisters after that shit.”

Eddie leaned forward in the chair and rested his elbows on his knees, arms hanging loose between his legs, bottle of beer in one hand. He seemed to get a bit of pleasure recalling what he and his brother had done to the miscreant who had defamed his sister. I was quite pleased to see his mood lightening. Whatever made Eddie happy was a good thing if you were with him.

“But it was always shit like that, ya know P, had ta be a bitch on her, ya know. Momma did the best she knew how, and I think she did one hell of a job! Got my dumb ass through college.”

I nearly fell off my fucking chair. College! Eddie went to fucking college. Not just no, but hell no. As it was I got up from my chair threw my hands in the air, walked around the chair proclaiming to no one in particular, “No fucking way, no mother-fucking way. I ain’t fuck’n believe’n this shit. Where the fuck did you go ta college?” I asked in utter amazement. Cold Eddie Kane was getting deeper by the minute. I remember wondering what the hell could be next.

Yea, that’s right ma man-college-went to the University of Northern Iowa got my degree in Business Ed and my teaching certification, Bro.

“Holy shit, Holy fucking shit,” it was all I could say. I was stunned. I looked at this man I had known for more than a year and realized that I didn’t know a damned thing about him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear anymore, but it was plain to see that Eddie wasn’t finished talking. I dropped back down in the chair like I had been sucker punched. I sat there looking at Eddie not recognizing the person before me; he seemed rather pleased with my reaction to this news flash. “I don’t get it Eddie; you have a degree, then why the fuck are you doing the shit your doing? It don’t add up. You sure as fuck don’t talk like no college boy.”

“Well neither do you, Dog.” More shock and this time on a personal level, Eddie had information about me that I didn’t give him. How did Eddie know I went to college? “It don’t matter, Dog, I found out early that I wasn’t cut out to be anybody’s teacher. Can you see my wild ass teach’n a bunch a hard headed little shits?” I had to admit I couldn’t quite grasp that picture. “No, Bro Man, I like what I do, so I conform to the picture of what I do. Just like you.” I also couldn’t quite grasp how Eddie knew so much about me, and that bothered me far more than knowing who Eddie was. Like I said at the beginning of this, my business was my business and none of yours or Eddie’s.

“What the hell you mean, just like me?” I tried to sound like I was sitting in the driver’s seat and directing the conversation. I was fishing. I needed to find out just how much he knew about me and my business and how the fuck he got his info.

“Don’t get excited there P-zot, I ain’t knock’n your gig, but you ain’t in know way fool’n Eddie. Like I said, Dog, I ain’t in any way near as ignorant as I play, and I made it my business ta check ya out on the short order. Ya dig?” Eddie paused, from the look on his face I imagine he could see the concern written on my face, he continued. “Look, Bro, your business is your business, I don’t have any problems with what you do. Know what I mean? But, I have ta be careful who I deal with, don’t you?”

“Yea man, I do, and that’s probably what’s fuck’n with me, if you found out, who the fuck else mighta been look’n?” I was worried and I knew it showed. “Fuck man, I’m pissed. I got way too much ta lose ta be get’n careless. I need ta know how ya dug me up man. Ya found out about my college for Christ’s sake. That means I ain’t been as careful as I thought and that’s dangerous.”

“Nah, I don’t think ya got nothin ta worry about Chief, only reason I got the goods on ya is cause ya got careless around here. People always get sloppy at the crib, ya know. One time ya left the title ta your Beemer on the table, once I had your double S & N, wasn’t no problem find’n out some shit. Still couldn’t find out a lot a shit though, you’d be pretty damned hard ta find if ya wanted ta disappear, Dog. Power to ya.” Eddie looked to be pleased with how clever he had been. I was busy devising ways to cover my tracks better. I made a mental note, no more friends with keys to the crib, and contemplated if Eddie would have to be eliminated, for my own safety. I decided that terminating him was a bit drastic and could prove dangerous as well. This conversation had wandered a long way from where it had started and it was treading on territory I was less comfortable with than the death of Eddie’s mother. I felt the need to return the conversation to where it belonged, out of my business.

“Well all that’s really not that important, I trust you more than anybody else I know, so it’s all cool. But what you gonna do bout your Mom’s Bro? You going to the House or what?” The effect was what I desired, I could see the hurt return to Eddie’s face, and I felt better. Not ta see Eddie hurt’n, ya know, just ta have the talk off my ass.

The massive shoulders sagged and the barrel chest forced a slow hissing sigh from somewhere within the cavernous lungs and melancholy settled once again on Eddie’s brow. Sitting before me was the grieving, vulnerable, Eddie of earlier. He seemed lost and unsure of what to do, so he dropped his head into his hands and said nothing. Then the huge shoulders trembled and a small sound came from Eddie, for Christ’s sake that was a sob? The shoulders trembled again, and again the small noise, Eddie looked up at me. The big, heartless, sum-a-bitch, was cry’n. Great big, mean ass, leg break’n, Cold Eddie Kane was weep’n like a little bitch. I found myself wish’n I had a picture of this, but that would be dangerous. I really didn’t know what to do.

“My Momma’s gone man.” Eddie moaned. “She gone, she gone, she gone,” he blubbered between sobs. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do man, it hurts so bad. I miss her so much.” Eddie looked at me through tear stained eyes as his big frame trembled out of control. So far this had been one very surprising meeting, but the most surprising part of this encounter was yet to come. I found myself rising from my seat and gliding toward the sobbing man in the easy chair; in a dream state I reached out in compassion and pulled the big frame to me. Eddie put his tear-stained face into my abdomen, wrapped his thick arms around my waist, and wept openly. I don’t believe I have ever been that uncomfortable, before or since. I held Eddie in my arms for what seemed like a century, until he gained control of himself and slowly extracted himself from my embrace. I felt like a teenager caught in a lover’s embrace by his parents; I’m sure if my complexion had allowed it I would have been at least as red as a cherry.

When Eddie and I were disconnected, I hurriedly returned to my seat and Eddie and I avoided eye contact for several minutes. During that time we made small talk and tried to regain the pictures of each other we had held in our minds prior to this day. I don’t know if Eddie succeeded in his attempt; I did not. Anyway, after several minutes, Eddie got out of the chair; he looked sheepishly around the place and then thanked me for talk’n to him and said he had to go. I told him it was all OK and ushered him out the door as fast as decorum allowed. As the door clicked shut I leaned my head against its’ hard, smooth, surface and took comfort from its’ unyielding nature. I leaned there for a moment, composing my mind. I pushed away from the door, returned to my seat and ran what had taken place through my mind.

After thinking about what had happened for a long time, digesting the surprising information I had received, turning it over and over in my mind, I discovered something surprising. I found that of everything that had occurred, the one thing that I found the most shocking was the fact that I had been able to show compassion for Eddie. The idea that I could care what happened to anybody or sympathize with anyone was strange and foreign. It required that I sit and take a closer look at who I was and more importantly, where I was going. I found the idea terrifying. Like Eddie, I was content with the role I had chosen and I was very comfortable in that role. It came to me that the last time I had felt remorse, compassion, or sympathy, had been years ago when my own mother had passed. These thoughts brought my mind back to Eddie and the surprising information I had been given about him, the knowledge that Eddie was in fact human and capable of human emotions and feelings had altered my perceptions on how I judged people. That I could have been so wrong about who Eddie was, and that I did not take the time or effort to find out more about him in the first place, showed a serious fault in my procedures. Correctable, true, but one I had over looked in any case. The fact that it would never occur again was a small comfort, It was not absolution.

After much thought on the matter, I knew my time knowing Eddie was short. I would move on very soon and remove Eddie from my life, forever. That was the nature of the game and I always obeyed the rules of nature. I saw Eddie four or five times after that as I shifted my activities elsewhere. Neither he nor I ever spoke of that conversation again, but nothing was the same. I could never again watch Eddie methodically dismember some ruffian in the club with the same distance as before, now as I observed his completely professional ass-kickings, I saw a person with feelings and a sensitive side, more importantly I saw someone who knew me.

After I had completely moved my business away, I never went back to Houston. I never saw Eddie again. I never made the same mistake, but I am still haunted sometimes by thoughts of how badly I had misjudged Cold Eddie Kane and by feelings I had found within me.

      

 

 

Copyright © 2002 Albert Davis
Published on the World Wide Web by "www.storymania.com"