The Sacred Space
The sacred space
“Your sacred space is the place where
you can find yourself again and again”—J. Campbell
“It’s fabulous news for you, Ravi! It seems like a miracle. Recuperating from Coma and that to after an extreme case of hemorrhage and clotting is exceptional. She’ll be in her senses after some hours. In all, she is now out of danger.” The doctor said with an eccentric smile over his face.
A wave of relief drove away Ravi’s emotions and a stream of tear ran over his face. All the vistas of incidences, good or bad damped his eyes. He straight away went into the I.C.U. where his beloved had spent last 2 years.
He took a chair beside her and held her hand tightly to give her some warmth. He recalled the day when he was used to hold her hand like this……………………………..
****
“I’ll talk to your father tomorrow about when we are going to marry. Anxiety is killing me now.” Ravi enunciated to Ruqsan glaring into those loving eyes of her that always remained in the memoirs of his life. He knew the extent of love that this extremely beautiful Muslim lady possessed for him. Although he belonged to an upper cast orthodox Hindu family, this marriage was possible for him as his parents were not alive and all the progress he had made in his life was truly a result of his own struggle and toil, something that made him the master and decision-maker of his own life. Apart from the love he will surely receive from her, the financial and political support that her father will provide was also an incentive.
That day Ruqsan accompanied him to his very neat, spacious but still house. Ruqsan always sensed this emptiness that detained this house and it was her heartily desire to make this flat a jolly home. They made coffee for themselves and went to the balcony that bestowed a splendid view of the city, being at the 15th floor of this lavish building. She looked into the ambitious yet loving eyes of him. Ravi, as he always did, hugged her in love and in some extreme part to evade her glare. A slight feeling of guilt about his intentions struck him but he had confidence on Ruqsan’s love and firm belief that he would be a loving husband.
As he anticipated, Ruqsan’s father gladly accepted him as his son-in-law. Shahad Mahmood, popularly known as Shahad sahib, was all any secular Indian could dream of a Muslim politician. His frame of mind and divine persona was an enticement for votes and support in this constitutionally secular country. As a father, he was the one who imparted the pure serenity in her daughter’s smile that always mesmerized Ravi. Moreover, his political status certainly was of great ensnarement for Ravi; a thing that will rudely tainted his love for Ruqsan.
After their marriage, Ravi instantly joined the NPRP or National People’s Rule Party, more precisely. Ruqsan’s father was the State Secretary of this immensely secular party and one of their most lovable leaders, even among Hindus, something that a Muslim leader could only cherish in this city.
****
Ravi suddenly unraveled himself from all these reminiscences to concentrate on Ruqsan’s state. She all of a sudden started to strangle; as if something obstructed her from breathing the sanitized air from the mask. He instantly called the doctor, who in no time recognized the seriousness of the situation. He more or less ordered Ravi to empty the ICU. Ravi like a primary class student did exactly what he was said, for he knew it was not the write time to argue or question. He believed on the capabilities of Doctor Harish and moreover he was now accustomed to such conditions. An abrupt paramount feeling of guilt and remorse as always entangled him and perhaps he himself wanted to let these feelings curse him….punish him….. castigate him, as he deserved them. The panoramas again captured him…….
****
It was Friday night and the whole city was in deadly hellhole. Ravi didn’t know why he enslaved himself into those tenacious chastises of Swamiji. How such viewpoints took over his mind and also smashed the bottomless impression of Ruqsan’s love is an unanswered question for him now.
Swamiji was the most prominent Hindu leader of the state and the most extreme also. He was almost wild about the purity and propriety of Hinduism. It was he who pushed the whole state into the inferno of dreadful politics on the lines of religion. Ravi remembered the day he gave him the last warning……….
“Son, you should realize the mental state of these Muslims. Your shrewd Father-in-law played a master stroke by marrying his girl to a high caste and pure Hindu. I ask you, had all Muslim boys died for his daughter?....No, he let his daughter to trap you…..
Son, all this love and affection are cheap, shrewd and contemptible things. Disentangle yourself from these material things and surrender yourself to the great Gods that reside above the sky, in heaven. It is high time for you to correct your mistake and purify yourself; the world need efficient men like you but remember, not in stained state.”
After his maneuvering encounter with Swamiji, whatever he did just sculpted the dismal end of his marriage. In return he was made the de facto heir of Swamiji. Whether or not Swamiji was correct in axioming about Shahad Mahmood’s master stroke, it was he who played the master stroke. He knew how much respect and grace Ravi had among the poor Hindus because of his worthy work. He hit exactly at the high time of inter-community riots. The next day Ravi announced his decision of divorcing Ruqsan to his in-laws and Ruqsan, hypnotized by Swamiji captivating thoughts…………….
****
Ravi was waiting for the Doctor’s report. He again went to Ruqsan’s ward but took a seat outside as the Doctor was examining her situation. Two years have changed him a lot. Still the remorse never left him. As it always happened, her face like a divine spirit magically came in front of his eyes.
A drop of tear streamed through his cheeks as her throbbing face came in front of him. He could feel the twinge of the spirit that was gazing exactly in his eyes….........he recalled the biggest devious event of his life
“I just want you to change your religion. I have realized what I did was deceitful to the holy gods. But still I love you….and it’s your duty to obey your husband….follow your Patni-dharma.”
“How…… how…….how could you?........ I can’t recognize the person in your eyes, Ravi. My Ravi can’t utter such poison….Please bring back my innocent and truthful Ravi….the person who loved me madly….the person who never differed between mine and his culture…..the one who never brought an ‘I’ amongst us……BRING BACK!!!!!.....I don’t love THIS guy……But I’ll wait….I’ll wait for my Ravi…..no matter how long my wait will be…….even if it take away my whole life………I can’t cheat my culture and the ethics my Abba taught me……… but I’ll wait for you for my whole life………”
It almost took away her life…….
****
The doctor swiftly came out of his cabin with a folder in his hand. Addressing to Ravi he said with ecstasy, “Ravi, Ruqsan is a true fighter and an eccentric patient. We were quite afraid when she started to choke. But these reports are glistening. The biggest news is that we can remove the life support system after sometime.”
This was the most brilliant news Ravi had heard of in more than 2 years.
The next day Ravi asked the Doctor, trying not to be impatient when Ruqsan will be conscious.
“We have removed the life-support and she is responding marvelously………let’s hope.” The doctor replied.
Hope…..that was all Ravi had consistently since last 2 years.
Ravi again got trapped in the vistas of the past………..the reason because of which the current state of affairs were reached………………
****
Three years had gone past after Ravi divorced Ruqsan and he had moved on in his life. Swamiji had died and he took over his position. He transformed himself into the most influential leader of the Hindus in the city.
The NPRP had broken down and Ravi established his own Lok Samrjya Parishad (LSP).
Among his various ambitious projects his most longed one was to establish a temple in the newly expanded land in the outskirts. It was politically a very major project as it would attract more Hindus from different part of the state to get settled in the new housing complex that will be subsequently established. But the biggest hindrance for him was a similar project of a Mosque of the leaders of the People’s Voice Party (PVP), the predominantly Muslim party established by Shahad Mahmood along with his son and Ruqsan’s younger brother Raza.
Day by day this project became an indispensable dream for both Ravi and Raza. When both the tenders put forward by their respective infrastructural companies crashed and finally the contract was given to PVP, the Hindus all over the city started riots. The fuel in the blaze was the assassination of Raza. For Shahad sahib, this was a tremendous blow. Ignited by the extremists in the party, he started to believe that Ravi was the one who got his son killed. But Ravi knew the truth. As he investigated, it was the same group of extremist leaders of PVP who got Raza killed to muster their support and to transform Shahad sahib into an anti-Hindu leader.
The ignition given by the party leaders did exactly what they aspired. An enormous blaze of hatred captured the mind of Shahad sahib. The way the life of his beloved daughter was destroyed and the way his son was killed made him to hate Hindus and Ravi the foremost. This bonfire of rage did exactly what the political players, the extremists wanted.
One day, Shahad sahib arranged a meeting in his house between the two parties to resolve their differences. Very cunningly, the extremists showed their approval to this meeting by saying it to be beneficial for curbing any further riots. Their influence in the party had now become paramount.
Ravi did come to attend the meeting but forced upon a highly confidential meeting without any other party leader. This was exactly what Shahad Sahib needed. After sometime, Ravi found himself trapped in front of an old Muslim leader pointing a pistil towards him.
“Why did you killed my son?..........You all Hindus are evils!!” Shahad sahib exclaimed in rage still aiming at Ravi.
“I don’ know what you are saying……..first get the write information about the killers of your son……”
“You are the bloody killer of Raza!!!………I will take his revenge!” and Shahad sahib tightened his grip on the trigger. But Ravi’s eyes ignored that because they were glaring at something else. Ravi noticed those numinous eyes that never left his striving brain.
“Abba!!! No……” Ruqsan swiftly entered the room. “It couldn’t be Ravi!!!”
“Ruqsan! These Hindus are like this only………he first deceived you and then killed your brother!!!!”
“Abba!!! You are saying this. You were the one who taught me to respect their culture……you were the one who let me marry a Hindu……You are sounding different Abba!!”
“It was my biggest mistake to respect this poisoned religion……..my biggest mistake that Allah might never forgive…..Ya Allah……Forgive me…”
And he shot. But to his terror the bullet hit Ruqsan’s hand as she dived to save her love. But the biggest calamity was her exceedingly bleeding forehead. She had hit her head on the sharp corner of a table. She was in the clutches of Ravi. The way her head was bleeding was horrible for Shahad sahib. He could be the killer of her beloved child……..this thought made him to cry.
Fretfulness and rage ignited another fire. This time it was not for Ravi but for himself. Shahad sahib shot himself.
Ravi was in a huge mental trauma, on one hand his love was dying in his arms and on the other Ruqsan’s father’s suicide. Mysteriously, the only words that he uttered addressing Ruqsan were, “I love you!”
Ruqsan knew that her Abba is now dead although she had already lost his soul by the hands of certain conspirators. But for her the only reason to stay alive was a changed guy in front of her always questioning eyes.
Ravi was able to see himself in these eyes till they closed down.
The doctors said that the sharp hit on her head caused hemorrhage and a huge clot had developed inside her head. The bullet hit was not the issue of worry, it didn’t penetrated deeply. The biggest fear was Ruqsan’s possibilities of going into Coma, which eventually happened.
That day, the politician Ravi died and Ruqsan’s Ravi reincarnated.
****
Ravi woke up from the memoir with a fright. He wanted to cry out loud but at this point of time he had to put his guilt and grief aside. The Doctor called him into the ICU as Ruqsan finally gained conscious………
A mysterious hesitation held him but as an iron piece he swiftly entered the ward towards his magnetic beloved. The Doctor and the nurses emptied the ward for Ruqsan wanted to spend time alone with Ravi.
Ravi sat close to her, facing directly into her eyes.
Ruqsan sensed this new Ravi who instead of evading her eyes can face her with only love and nothing else.
“Don’t say anything…….” She said and started to gaze into his eyes and ponder upon the deep ocean of love that now fills the former empty and barren eyes.
Ravi knew that Ruqsan has sensed the change in him……..why is a woman’s love always superior than man’s?……… why?............
He knew that he must not say sorry…….it’s a very small word to elude away his crime. He lifted his hand towards her face but as he touched her cheek, he ran away crying………
He slammed his fist on the wall outside the ward. He knew she had sensed the intense love he kept inside his heart for years.
Those eyes……….they were his real sacred space. From the day of their marriage to the day he discarded her like a waste…………from the day they met to the day she was in his clutches almost dying ……….and also today…….he can find himself again and again in her eyes……….
He now wants to ask each and every person of this world……..what is religion?......
Different religions are different languages….voices of God……a way God expresses what he desire a man to do……
What is love?........
Love is the soul of God……a feeling that itself portrays God……
Only a human’s voice goes against his soul…..it is not a characteristic of the almighty……
Dividing the whole world……ruining and destroying Love, affection and its ardor in the name of religion is same as if God is voicing against his own soul…..This itself challenges the very existence of God.
Is for this Religion was made?.........
It was not that he wants to rationalize the whole concept of religion. The deeps of every religion teach the same love and affection, but certain evils just thump their own misinterpretation of religion and God for their own benefits.
He just wants peace in his life and in fact in everyone’s life. He promised himself to now work on the actual ethics of religion……..ethics that unite and not divide…..ethics that spreads love and not blaze…….the ethics that are the of his nation…….the ethics that are of Ruqsan……….
Ravi controlled himself and went into the ward with more humanity, respect for the almighty and immense love for a woman he now consider an epitome of spirituality……………
****
1 month later………
Ruqsan was being discharged today and Ravi was signing off all the documents at the reception.
Ruqsan was now on her foots although she was still pale and weak.
Ravi went to her ward to help her to walk out. He held her hands tightly looking lovingly at her. Ruqsan looked, as the custom is, into his loving eyes with a smile. Ravi came near her face and whispered, “You are sacred for me…..you are the way God communicates with me…….so keep smiling because God is void of a sad face…..”
****
----Vishal Arora
Copyright © 2010 Vishal Arora |