Storymania - Heroes For Hire by Tom Pallett

�Heroes For Hire� � By Tom Pallett

1�� DURING OPENING TITLES�� 1

TEEJAY (O.S.)

Once upon a time, in a land far from here there was once a witch, a witch so powerful she could not be killed�

FADE INTO:

2�� INT. HIVE NURSERY � DAY�� 2

TEEJAY, early 20s, light brown skin, dressed in rough home made clothes, barefooted, sits in the middle of an equally home made organic looking nursery.� He reads from a large battered book, and is surrounded by several dozen children, aged 6 and below.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

�After a long hard battle, a brave warrior managed to trap her inside an egg�

A toddler has hold of Teejay�s hair, and is trying to pull it out.� Behind him several youngsters have lost interest in the story and are destroying the nursery with a pot of red paint behind his book.� Teejay tries to take it good-naturedly.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

�The egg was sealed forever in the tombs of Prosponeous�

A voice bursts through a tinny old loud speaker.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.)

Teejay, you are relieved of nursery duty�

Teejay grins.

ANNOUNCER (O.S.)

�And are requested on rhino bait duty.

Teejay gulps.

3�� INT. HIVE � DAY�� 3

The hive is a giant structure, formed from wood and earth, built giving the general appearance of a giant anthill.� Hundreds of workers stream over wooden pathways suspended throughout the hive, giving them the appearance of human ants.� TEEJAY walks along one of the pathways, next to MARISHA, also early 20s, light brown skin and dressed similarly.

TEEJAY

It�s best not to ask what rhino baiting involves I guess.

MARISHA

You guess right.

They reach the rhino pen, which sits amongst other animal pens on a ledge jutting out from the hive.� An open cage stands covering the entrance to the rhino pen.� The BOSS of the small zoo greets them.

BOSS

Ah, Teejay, we thought this rhino would make a great welcoming gift to the people of Prosponeous.� You see we�re sending our airship there on a public relations exercise�

TEEJAY

Yes, I realise.� You see, when I asked for a mission with a little more excitement in it, I was sort of planning on joining the airship team, instead of being rhino fodder.

BOSS

I know.� It�s a nasty job, but it needs to be done.

Teejay looks to a pen nearby, where apes are working, mingling effortlessly with humans.

TEEJAY

I thought perhaps you could talk an ape into the job.

�� BOSS

Afraid not, they have a better workers union.� C�mon, just think of it as an adventure.� Something romantic.

Teejay stands on the edge of the rhino pen.

TEEJAY

OK. Being skewered by rhinos is romantic, and good fun.

He gulps and climbs into the pen.� He looks towards the rhino, which shuffles slowly towards him.

TEEJAY

Oh joy, this certainly beats for example, stabbing myself�

BOSS

That�s right, lead it into the cage.

Teejay continues treading backwards, with the rhino following.

TEEJAY

�And it beats drowning�

MARISHA

That�s it, think positive.

TEEJAY

�And it beats jumping from stupid heights, well, maybe they�re both as fun.

Teejay steps backwards into the cage, the rhino still following him.� A worker slides open the door behind him, and he leaps backwards through it.� The rhino CHARGES into the cage, as both doors crash down, trapping it.� Another worker throws a lasso through the bars, looping it over the rhino�s neck�

But the door Teejay has just slid through has not been locked yet.� The rhino JABS its horn underneath the cage door and jolts it upwards, sliding it open.� The rhino charges forwards towards a worker who has now turned to run.� Teejay ducks down to grab the rope dangling from the rhino�s neck.

MARISHA

Teejay, let go of the rope�

Too late.� The rhino charges onwards towards workers who scatter out of its way.� Still clinging to the rope is Teejay, who is dragged across the ground, stubbornly refusing to let go.� The rhino charges through a fruit stall, scattering fruit and veg.� It continues its rampage into a marquee, were Teejay bashes into a pole holding it together.� He is flung from the rope and rolls along the floor.� Staggering to his feet, he sees the marquee collapsing around him.� He dashes towards the exit with the rhino in hot pursuit.� He ducks beneath the exit as the marquee falls, trapping the rhino beneath it.

Teejay searches the faces of his fellow workers, including MARISHA and the BOSS, who look at him stunned.

TEEJAY

(nervously)

One rhino, safely contained, as you ordered.

The rhino SLASHES the fabric with its horn, pushing its head through to the workers.

BOSS

Pull up the bridge, we need to evacuate.

Workers dash towards the wooden pathway, as the rhino tears its way out further.� The pathway is actually a drawbridge, which is pulled up in case of emergency.� Workers dash along it, leaping the growing gap as it is drawn up.� The BOSS reaches the gap and looks down at the drop to the hive floor two hundred feet below.� He jumps�

�And just makes the other side, rolling along the bridge to the other side.

TEEJAY and MARISHA run up it, and turn to clambering up it, as the angle grows steeper.� They reach the top, but there�s no way they can make the jump now. �Marisha looks back at the rhino, still tearing its way through the fabric, and then at two ropes tied to a post near the rhino pen.

MARISHA

The swings.

Teejay and Marisha slide down the bridge and tumble back into the small zoo.� Marisha grabs Teejays hand and drags him to the two ropes.� Looking up, it is seen that the other end of the ropes are tied to poles forming the roof of the hive, hundreds of feet above them.� The end of the ropes at the workers end has nooses to place feet.� The ropes can be used as giant rope swings to enable workers swift journeys from one ledge of the hive to another.

Marisha unties one of the ropes and places her foot in it.

MARISHA

Remember, let go of the rope.

TEEJAY

Marisha, if you remember a few seconds back, I still haven�t got over my letting go of ropes problem.

MARISHA

It�s simple, all you have to do is, um, let go.

Teejay unties his rope and places his foot in it.� They both look ahead to where an old rusty traffic light hangs from the roof, a small bird nesting inside the amber light.� It�s RED, telling the hive members on this particular ledge to wait their turn before using the rope, preventing them from bashing people who are swinging in other directions.� The rhino TEARS through the fabric and wanders confused around the zoo.

AMBER.

Teejay and Marisha prepare to leap from the ledge.� The rhino spots them and CHARGES.

GREEN.

Marisha leaps from the ledge, swinging out into the vast exterior of the hive.� Teejay looks behind him at the approaching rhino and trips, spinning as he swings out after Marisha.

4�� INT. HIVE � TEEJAY ON ROPE � DAY�� 4

TEEJAY spins round and round as he clings on for dear life SCREAMING as he flies by.� He swoops slowly through the hive, SKIMMING twenty feet above the floor, and then slowly rising again. Ahead of him, MARISHA reaches a ledge and pulls her foot from the noose, landing on the ledge.� Teejay reaches the ledge, hovering slightly above it.

MARISHA

Teejay, let go of the rope.

TEEJAY

Um.

MARISHA

Now.

But it�s too late.� Teejay gives a nervous wave as the rope swings backwards, away from the ledge�

�Into the path of DOZENS OF OTHER WORKERS, who have been given the green light to swing across the path.� He winces as one WHOOSHES past him, missing by a couple of yards.

Up above, Teejays rope becomes entangled with the rope of another worker, sending him in a new direction.� Teejay BASHES into someone else, closing his eyes, as his rope becomes entangled more, leading to an ever increasing number of workers SPINNING and CRASHING into each other�

�And by the time Teejay has swung to the bottom of the hive the ropeways are in CAOS.� Teejay clings onto his rope, completely stuck and helpless as he surveys his handiwork.� Looking to the floor he sees an important looking hive OFFICIAL.�

TEEJAY

Um, sorry.

The official beckons him down with a deadly serious look.

5�� INT. HIVE THRONE ROOM � NIGHT�� 5��

TEEJAY stands sheepishly before the hive QUEEN, who is in her early 30�s, dressed in exotic royal attire, matching the equally royal look of the throne room, and looking on Teejay as if she�s patiently putting up with a stupid child.

TEEJAY

(In mid explanation)

�And once I�d missed jumping for the ledge, the rest I�m afraid was out of my control.

The queen gives him a somewhat patronising smile.

QUEEN

I will see to it that you are no longer put anywhere near ropes.

TEEJAY

(Bowing)

Thank you your highness� (He pauses while hesitating) You know, I couldn�t help noticing that the airship is due to leave tomorrow, and you know if�erm�if the full team is not made up for the voyage, I would be most grateful if I could�if you don�t mind�join the voyage.

The queen gives a single disapproving look.

TEEJAY

Well thanks for considering it.� Sorry to be a nuisance, goodbye.

He bows as he exits the room.

6�� EXT. HIVE � NIGHT�� 6

TEEJAY enters the outside of the hive from the throne room.� The airship, a giant wood and cloth structure, looking as organic as the hive that produced it, sits tethered to the hive.� It looks like a ship filled with giant airbags (Which is not too far from the truth) and has a mast, which rises into the night sky.� Teejay sits down on a walkway running along the outside of the hive, and gazes longingly out at the lights of a distant city.

TEEJAY

Prosponeous.

Suddenly an idea strikes.� He checks round for guards, and then nimbly tiptoes across a ramp onto the ship.

7�� EXT. HIVE � DAY�� 7

Workers swarm over the airship, the RUST BUCKET, carrying out last minute checks.� The crew line up along the walkway, including MARISHA and the BOSS.� The QUEEN holds a bottle of champagne, which she flings at the bow of the ship, where it THUDS off.� There is an embarrassed silence.� The queen is passed a pistol.� She aims it.� BANG.� The champagne SMASHES to the cheers of the workers.

8�� SHIP PROPELLORS � DAY�� 8

The two great propellers at the back of the airship slowly churn to life.� They build up to a ROAR as they pick up speed under the watchful gaze of a MECHANIC.

9�� EXT. HIVE � DAY�� 9

Ropes are cast off as the RUST BUCKET casts off, floating away from the hive under the guidance of its sails and propellers.� MARISHA, the BOSS and most of the ships crew wave to the other workers standing on the hive walkway.

10�� INT. BARREL � DAY� ��10

TEEJAY has sneaked into a hay barrel, which has been loaded onto the RUST BUCKET.� He has a huge grin, anticipating the adventure ahead.

11�� EXT. RUST BUCKET�� 11

The RUST BUCKET passes gracefully beneath us, over exotic looking towns and landscapes in the far distance below.� People can just be seen moving about on the deck.� It sails towards the city of ESCURO, formed from great black spires and gothic looking architecture.

12�� EXT. RUST BUCKET DECK�� 12

A SENTRY holds up a pair of binoculars, scanning the horizon, to see THROUGH THE BINOCULARS we see several vicious looking people crouched among the spires of ESCURO.� Across the spires they have spun a huge web from an almost transparent material, one large enough to snare the entire RUST BUCKET if it remains on its course.� The remains of small flying vehicles, which were unfortunate enough not to see the trap, are still stuck in the web, with some of the pirates salvaging the materials.

The sentry lowers the binoculars, and turns.

SENTRY

SPIDERS, DEAD AHEAD.

The airship CAPTAIN immediately turns the wheel.

CAPTAIN

PUT THE PROPPELLORS IN REVERSE.� WORK THE SAILS.� WE�RE TURNING TO STARBOARD.

Workers rush into action all over the ship.

13�� SHIP PROPELLORS � DAY�� 13

The propellers GRIND to a halt, and then slowly begin to CHURN in the opposite direction.

14�� EXT. RUST BUCKET DECK � DAY�� 14

The momentum of the ship GRINDING to a halt knocks over TEEJAYS BARREL.� He cautiously peers from it, confused.� The boom swings round.� BANG.� It knocks Teejay�s barrel, sending it rolling towards the edge of the ship.� It BASHES against the railing, spilling Teejay out over the side�

�Where he grabs onto a rope that runs along the length of the ship, and hangs on, the ground hundreds of feet below his dangling body.

MARISHA has seen him fall and dashes to the side.

MARISHA

I presume you�ve learnt your lesson.

TEEJAY

I will never stowaway again.

The rope TEARS slightly.� Teejay looks at it horrorfied.

TEEJAY

I don�t think I�ll ever get the chance.

MARISHA reaches down to grab his hand.� TEEJAY cautiously reaches up�

SNAP.� Teejay clings on as he swings away.� His swing comes to an end just below the PROPPELLORS.� MARISHA rushes along the deck to the back of the ship to look down on him.� The rope snags on one of the proppellors, and the rope is gradually drawn up into it.

MARISHA

Teejay, you�re going to have to let go, now.

Teejay looks down; the city of ESCURO is now below him.� Amongst the towering spires lays a small lake directly below him.� The ship passes the spire, from which the PIRATES glare out at them frustrated that they avoided the trap.� Teejay swings past them, and for a moment is face to face with a pirate.� The spire is now behind them, and Teejay looks upwards.� He is drawn towards the proppellor as the rope is gradually sucked in.

TEEJAY

Not if my life depended on it.

MARISHA

Which it does.

TEEJAY

Well like I said, no.

A few more seconds and Teejay will be chopped up in the propeller.� Marisha leans down to where the rope is connected.

MARISHA

You�ll thank me for this, if you survive the fall.

She unhooks the rope, and it falls from the propeller.� Teejay falls away from the ship, quickly becoming a small dot.

15�� ESCURO RESEVOUIR � DAY�� 15

A WATER TECHNICIAN stands by the reservoir, and pulls a lever controlling the water flow.� He looks up at the sound of SCREAMS.� TEEJAY tumbles from the sky in front of the open-mouthed technician.� He SPLASHES into the water with a force that soaks the technician.� After a few seconds Teejay surfaces, amazed at still being alive.

TEEJAY

Now that�s lucky.

He turns paler at the sound of the water GURGLING from the reservoir down into the pipes below to supply the city.� He swims towards the bank, where the TECHNICIAN is crouched down, holding out his hand to grab him.

TECHNICIAN

There�s no way to turn it off, grab my hand.

Teejay reaches out and grabs the tips of his fingers�

�But the force of the rushing water pulls him back into the vortex above the plug of the reservoir.� The technician dashes up to the bank and pulls out a box from beside a work booth.� He pulls from the box what looks like a pair of GOGGLES with a small BREATHING APPARATUS attached.� He turns back to the reservoir, and throws them towards Teejay.� Teejay raises a hand to catch them, but they are just out of reach.� They hit the water, spin around in the vortex, and are span back into Teejays reach, who grabs them.

TECHNICIAN

Put them on, they absorb oxygen from the water.

Teejay gives a brief thumbs up sign, and slips the goggles over his head, and places the breathing apparatus in his mouth, just before he is sucked under.� He spins around in the vortex in increasingly tighter circles, until he is sucked through the plug.

16�� INT. PIPES � DAY�� 16

TEEJAY is sucked helplessly through the pipe, away from the light at the plug into COMPLETE DARKNESS.

17�� INT. PIPES - LATER�� 17

It could be night or day outside, but inside the pipes it�s PITCH BLACK.� A small LIGHT appears.� It is a pocket torch, which TEEJAY has just pulled from his trouser pocket.� He scans the piping with it, and finds a penny, which he quickly pockets.� He is suddenly SUCKED UPWARDS and looking up with the torch the pipe seems to stretch into infinity.

18�� INT. PIPES � LATER�� 18

TEEJAY swims on, and is suddenly sucked into a smaller pipe, where he becomes wedged in, jamming the pipe.� He kicks his legs in vain as the water builds up behind him.� He drums his fingers impatiently on the pipe.� WHOOSH.� The water pressure dislodges him and he shoots through the pipe into a larger water container.� He appears to be at a dead end.� The sound of DISTANT MUSIC can be heard.� Teejay places his ear to the wall of the water container to hear what appears to be the sound of HEAVY METAL.

19�� INT. GIG ROOM � NIGHT�� 19

A crowd moshes to a band playing on a low-lying stage.� JAVE BLACK, the lead singer and base guitarist, SCREAMS for all he�s worth.� He�s dressed entirely in black.� Black T-shirt, black jeans, black cowboy hat and shoulder length black hair.� The song comes to an end, with Jave LEAPING into the crowd.� DISO, the lead guitarist, with glasses and dreadlocks, walks exhaustedly from the gig room.

20a�� INT. TIOLETS � NIGHT�� 20a

DISO enters the shabby looking room.� He turns on the tap, and splashes his face.

TEEJAY (O.S.)

Hello.

Diso looks up at the water container, confused.

TEEJAY (O.S.)

Let me out.

DISO

Oh no.� The waters talking to me again.

20b�� INT. TIOLETS. NIGHT � LATER�� 20b

A screwdriver undoes the last bolt holding the water container door together.� TEEJAY gently pushes the door open.� Water pours out, soaking the floor.� Teejay takes of his goggles and cautiously looks around the toilets.� A scary looking assortment of Goths and punks watch him, including JAVE and DISO.� He takes a fearful look around and then reaches for the door, closing it to hide in the water container.

21�� INT. PUB. NIGHT�� 21

TEEJAY sits amongst the creepy looking inhabitants of ESCURO in an equally creepy looking pub, looking mildly more at ease.� JAVE and DISO are in their element, chatting away.� Teejay points a finger at Jave's T-shirt, which reads XEESLE.

TEEJAY

What does xeesle mean?

Jave looks down at T-shirt.

JAVE

Name of some old witch.� Means the source of all evil.� That�s what we�ve named the band.

TEEJAY

Charming.

A TV in the corner begins a new program, which is greeted by jeers and shouts of abuse.� LEETSI looks up at the TV with disgust.� She�s the bands drummer, early 20�s, also dressed completely in black.

LEETSI

Is this really the best that�s on?

JAVE

All in favour of switching to an advert break, say aye.

ENTIRE PUB

Aye.

But the programs left on, which quickly identifies itself as being produced by the PROSPONEOUS BROADCASTING ASSOCIATION.

TV PRESENTER (O.S.)

And welcome to another episode of Prosponeous heroes�

DISO

My butt could think of a better title.

TV PRESENTER (O.S.)

This week BRETT GUY and his team have set out to battle the giant sandworm of Zaonce.

BRETT GUY appears ON SCREEN.� He is a manufactured hero, in his late 20�s, looking like an annoyingly smug cross between Rambo and a boy band member.� He has perfectly slicked back hair, suspiciously perfect muscles and a phoney perfect swagger.� He wears combats and a vest, and has a machine gun strapped over his shoulder.� Behind him march an army of good looking young men and women in similar clothes.�

The pub greets him with further cheers.� Someone throws up.

TEEJAY

It can�t really be that bad, can it?

JAVE

Nah, someone just overdosed on the happy pills.

TEEJAY

Is that legal?

JAVE

Sometimes.

TEEJAY

Meaning�

JAVE

When the police aren�t watching.

ON SCREEN Brett Guy and his team are marching through a desert.

BRETT

OK team, let�s go.

The soldiers FIRE into the sand, and a GIANT SANDWORM ERRUPTS from beneath.� It SNARLS at the team, as it is SHOWERED WITH BULLETS.

The pub crowd boos, one throwing bag of peanuts at the screen.

The sandworm lurches forwards, grabbing one of the soldiers by the leg.

The pub cheers.

PUB

GO SANDWORM, GO.

Teejay mutters something into Jave's ear, who points to a door.� Teejay gets up from his seat and works to the door.

22�� INT. CORRIDOR � NIGHT�� 22

TEEJAY enters the corridor and walks towards the toilets. He stops to look at a poster on the wall.

$500,000 REWARD.

Princess Quitiri of the city of Prosponeous has been kidnapped by the villainous Baron Ragwort. He is keeping her imprisoned in his floating palace, currently moored outside the city of Zaonce.� The mayor of Prosponeous has offered the above award to anyone who can return her safely to the city.

Teejay peels the poster from the wall and folds it, placing it in his pocket before moving off down the corridor.

23�� INT. PUB � NIGHT�� 23

JAVE, LEETSI and DISO and other pub members continue to watch the Prosponeous heroes on the TV.

The program is coming to a close.

TV PRESENTER (O.S.)

Prosponeous heroes is sponsored by SLICK SHAMPOO�

BRETT GUY lets his hair flow while giving a look of supreme snugness.

TV PRESENTER (O.S.)

BLACK WIDOW CIGARS�

Brett holds a cigar manfully between his teeth.

TV PRESENTER (O.S.)

And LITTLE TYKE WEAPONARY.

Brett poses menacingly with a machine gun.

TV PRESENTER (O.S.)

And don�t forget that Brett�s single FOR YOU is out this week.

Footage of Brett and fellow team mates singing in incredibly irritating boy band fashion.

The program ends to the laughter and cheers of the pub members.� The laughter is soon halted by the arrival of POLICE who stride in through the main entrance.� Several people hide some illegal looking substances.� OFFICER LOU ADIE, ginger haired, blue uniformed and with a bad attitude, takes charge.

LOU

I am looking for someone by the name of JAVE BLACK.

The pub remains silent.

LOU (CONT�D)

Doesn�t ring any bells, well maybe this will help.

He pulls a wad of notes from his pocket and throws them in the air, where they scatter amongst the tables.� JAVE looks around nervously, but no one gives him away.� One hand snatches one of the notes while the officers aren�t watching.� LOU strides amongst the tables, picks up a pint from a guys hand, and pulls a cigarette from another guys mouth.� He takes a sip and a smoke as he strides along.

LOU (CONT�D)

Jave Black, wanted for dealing in BEETLES�

LEETSI

I wasn�t aware that beetles were illegal.

LOU

Not just any beetles�

He pulls a beetle from his pocket, and lets it crawl about on the palm of his hand.

LOU (CONT�D)

ZAONCE BEER SWILLING BEETLES, a single critter like this one could drink an entire establishment dry.� Can be sold to the highest bidder for industrial espionage.

He throws the beetle up in the air, where it lands in someone�s pint and immediately drinks as fast as it can, SWELLING in size.� The BARTENDER winces.� Lou sits down at Javes table and lifts his feet onto the table, wiping of the drinks onto the floor, where they SMASH.

LOU (CONT�D)

JAVE BLACK, does the name sound familiar?

Jave shakes his head, along with the rest of the table.� Behind them the bartender tips the pint glass over, and STAMPS on the beetle.� Lou glares at him, and he slinks back behind the bar.

TEEJAY walks out of the toilets, strides along the corridor and into the pub, completely unaware of the situation.� He pulls the poster from his pocket,

TEEJAY

Jave, look at this.

Lou and the other police immediately DRAW THEIR GUNS.� A second later half the pub, including DISO and LEETSI grab guns from beneath coats and point them at the police.� With guns pointed at everyone�s heads, no one dares fire the first shot.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

This is my fault, right?

COPS AND ENTIRE PUB

YEP.

The bartender crouches down and grabs a handle entitled MAGNET. He switches it to ON�

�And the guns fly from everyone�s hands CLUNKING onto the metal ceiling above.

Immediately a BAR ROOM BRAWL breaks out amongst the cops and the pub goers.� Amongst the chaos, Jave climbs onto a table, which holds a secret passage in the middle to the room below.� He slips down the centre through the table leg�

24�� INT. GIG ROOM � NIGHT�� 24

JAVE falls from the pub upstairs through the roof of the gig room.� A METAL BAND is playing at full pelt, and Jave lands on the moshing crowd, were he crowd surfs away.

25�� INT. PUB � NIGHT�� 25

Amongst the chaos of the brawl TEEJAY hides beneath a table.� All around him punches fly at the police.� The BARTENDER holds his head in his hands, sadly observing the fight, and then calmly smashes a bottle over one of the officers heads before he can punch one of the bar goers.� One officer has hold of his gun and is trying in vain to pull it from the magnetic ceiling.� DISO and LEETSI raise fists against each other, then break into grins as they realise just in time that they�re on the same side.� DISO picks up the table Teejay is hiding beneath and uses it as a missile against a cop, who goes hurtling back.�

TEEJAY

Someone call the police.

LEETSI

They are the police.

Teejay climbs onto the same table Jave disappeared down.� LOU, looking for the nearest victim to pounce on, lunges for him.� Teejay is knocked down the hole, and LOU grabbing his feet, falls down after him.

26�� INT. GIG ROOM � NIGHT�� 26

TEEJAY and LOU fall from the pub and land on the crowd.� Not liking police, the crowd surf them away in different directions, Lou screaming at them, but not a word is heard above the band.� Lou wrestles himself free from the crowd and steps onto the heads of the crowd, and agilely LEAPS across them.� He stumbles along the way, but soon reaches Teejay, and DIVES onto him.� They fall through the crowd onto the floor.� Teejay crawls along, trying to avoid the stamping feet, getting knocked down, with Lou crawling along after him.

He emerges from the crowd at the back of the gig room, amongst some pool tables.� He pulls himself up on the table, and is surprised to find he�s standing next to JAVE.� Lou finds him a second later, brandishing a bottle.� Spotting Lou, Jave grabs a bottle.� They both swing their bottle towards each other.� BOUNCE, Javes bottle is plastic, bouncing of Lou�s head.� SMASH, Lou�s bottle isn�t.�

JAVE

Damn plastic safety bottles.

Jave staggers, struggling to retain consciousness.� Lou runs to a large window and opens it.� He runs back to Jave, grabs him by the throat, and starts marching him towards the open window.� Jave pulls at Lou�s arm, but is unable to free himself, as he slides gradually towards his doom.� Teejay panics, and turns to run, SMASHING into a box loaded with pool balls.� The balls fall to the floor, BOUNCING and ROLLING towards Lou and Jave.� Lou slips on one, and falls onto the mass off balls rolling towards the window.� Jave bites down on Lou�s arm, forcing Lou to let go.� Jave rolls out the way as Lou slides out of the window.� His SCREAMING can be heard as he falls, gradually fading until it can no longer be heard.� Jave struggles to his feet.

JAVE

Wow, you killed him.

TEEJAY

Hey, I haven�t killed anyone.� It was an accident.� And besides, I�m sure he�ll land on his feet.

JAVE

Take a look.

Teejay walks cautiously up to the window.� They both poke their heads over.� The road looks tiny, cars looking like ants.� Smaller towers end before this height.� They must be at least 60 stories high.

JAVE

If he landed on his feet, maybe some of his head could be left.

TEEJAY

OK, OK, maybe I did kill him.

Jave listens very carefully for a very faint SPLAT.

JAVE

It�s raining men.

TEEJAY

You�re sick.

JAVE

At least I�m not dead.� And at least I don�t have to clean that street.

27�� INT. PUB � DAWN�� 27

A cleaner is mopping up the mess from the fight.� One lone heavy drinker remains by the bar.� JAVE and TEEJAY sit at a table, Jave holding an ice pack to his head.� Teejay slides the poster to him.� Jave inspects it.

JAVE

Yeah, I suppose I could make a good profit on this.

TEEJAY

I was hoping we could make a good profit on this.

JAVE

Sorry.� Five hundred thousand isn�t enough to share.

TEEJAY

Come on.� I saved your life.

JAVE

Only after endangering it first.

TEEJAY

Look.� A team of ambassadors from my hive are probably at Prosponeous now.� Just imagine if I could join them with the rescued princess at my side.� It�s the only chance I have of redeeming myself.

JAVE

So the deal is that I provide the money, expertise, weapons and general round guidance skills for the mission and you provide a general pain in the butt.

TEEJAY

How are you planning to get to Zaonce?

JAVE

Walk.

TEEJAY

That could take months.� Wouldn�t it be easier if you had one of these?

Teejay pulls a card from his pocket.� It holds a picture of Teejay and reads,

TEEJAY SWEZZANALIA

As a certified hive citizen, this cardholder is entitled to free air transport by Dragon Wing Airways.�

Jave lurches forwards to have a closer look, but Teejay puts it neatly back in his pocket.

TEEJAY

So by the time I�ve beaten the bad guy and rescued the princess, I�ll meet you there.

JAVE

What do you want?

TEEJAY

A guarantee that you wont be smuggling any funny business along with you, and a fifty-fifty split on the reward.

Jave extends his hand to shake.

JAVE

Done.

28�� INT. ESCURO AIRPORT � DAY�� 28

TEEJAY holds a giant holdall as he waits as JAVE, now dressed in a black trench coat as well as his black hat, BIDS FAREWELL to DISO and LEETSI.� He gives Leetsi a kiss and then walks towards the toilets with Teejay.� LOTERA, a security guard, notices Jave and walks towards him.

LOTERA

Hey Jave, long time no see.

JAVE

(Nervously)

Oh, hi Lotera, you all right?

LOTERA

Fine, fine, and I bet you�re doing great since you�ve quit the smuggling trade.� Now hands out of pockets.

Jave lifts his hands from his pockets, and Teejay notices he has also lifted out a small PACKET of BEETLES, which he quickly slides into his sleeve.� Lotera starts a body search, starting by lifting Javes hat and checking beneath.� As he starts checking his arms, Jave tilts them slightly, the packet slowly sliding down his arms and gradually making its way down his back.� Lotera puts his hands in Javes pockets and turns them inside out.� He looks confused at finding nothing.� The packet falls from beneath his coat to the floor, where he neatly steps back to cover it with his right foot, as Teejay looks on disapprovingly.� Lotera searches his legs.

LOTERA

And may I look on the bottom of your shoes.

Jave turns pale.� He lifts his left foot.� Nothing beneath that one.

LOTERA (CONT�D)

And the other foot.

Jave stands dead still.

LOTERA (CONT�D)

And the other foot.

Jave lifts it very slowly, but there�s nothing there.

LOTERA (CONT�D)

Have a nice flight.

Lotera walks away.� Jave looks at Teejay as he disappears into the toilets.

29�� INT. ESCURO AIRPORT TIOLETS � DAY� ��29

JAVE follows TEEJAY in.� Teejay produces from his pocket a very thin long retractable stick, stick to the end of which is the packet of beetles.

TEEJAY

A little squashed but none the worse for wear.

He throws them to Jave.�

JAVE

(Startled)

Cheers.

Jave climbs into the holdall in order to smuggle himself onto the airline.� Teejay zips it up, looking on him with a demonic smile.

TEEJAY

And remember no smuggling funny business.

Jave looks worried as the bag is fully zipped.

30�� INT. ESCURO AIRPORT � DAY�� 30

TEEJAY drags along the holdall in which Jave is hiding.� A PORTER notices him.

PORTER

Can I give you a hand?

TEEJAY

Thanks.

The porter drags the bag behind him.

PORTER

Heavy.� Anything fragile in here?

TEEJAY

Nah.� Throw it around as much as you like.

JAVE grunts angrily from within.� The porter looks confused.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

Old bag, tends to moan sometimes.

The porter continues to drag it behind him, where it bumps against a pillar.� Jave GRUNTS again, but the porter shrugs and continues to drag it.

31�� EXT. ESCURO AIRPORT - DAY�� 31

About two dozen passengers and crew sit on a LARGE DRAGON, as it flexes its wings.� The dragon runs along the runway and takes off, leaving behind the dark spires of Escuro.

32�� DRAGONS BACK � DAY�� 32

TEEJAY sits in comfort on the dragons back, his hair blowing in the wind.� A STEWARDESS offers him another top up of wine, and he holds out his glass while nodding gratefully.� We PAN DOWN to the dragons belly where the luggage is strapped, including the bag Jave has stowed away in.

33�� INT. JAVE�S BAG � DAY�� 33

JAVE lies slumped in the bag uncomfortably, glaring at his cramped surroundings.

34�� EXT. ABOVE ZAONCE CITY � DAY�� 34

People wonder amongst the GIANT MUSHROOM HOUSES of Zaonce.� At the city�s airport, the dragon lies peacefully as a cleaning crew hose it down.� JAVE and TEEJAY walk down a street.

35 ��EXT. STREET � DAY�� 35��

JAVE and TEEJAY are practising their introduction to the princess.

JAVE

(In mid practise)

�It�s a great honour to be able to rescue you, and may I say how fine you�re looking today.

(He bows and raises his hat, giving a sly grin)

TEEJAY

You sound like you�re asking her out.

JAVE

And why not?� There�s a lot of money involved in being a prince.

TEEJAY

And I wonder what Leetsi would say about that?

JAVE

Well we�re just friends, that was just a goodbye kiss� You�re not buying this are you?

Teejay shakes his head.

TEEJAY

Then I guess it�s up to me to prove my charms to the princess.

JAVE

And you�re sure you haven�t got a special someone at home.

TEEJAY

(Uncertainly)

No.

JAVE

That sounds like a very guilty no.

TEEJAY

You�re not buying this either?

Jave shakes his head, and they enter a weapons shop.

36�� INT. WEAPONS SHOP � DAY�� 36

JAVE and TEEJAY enter the shop.� Jave inspects a rack of machine guns, pulls one out and places it on the counter, along with a couple of rounds of ammo and some money, in front of the SHOPKEEPER.

SHOPKEEPER

May I see your licence please?

Jave pulls out an extra couple of notes and slides them over the counter.� The shopkeeper smiles as he pockets the cash.

SHOPKEEPER (CONT�D)

And where did you get this gun?

JAVE

Nowhere near here.

Jave takes the gun and ammo and slips it inside his coat.� He exchanges nods with the shopkeeper as he steps outside.

37�� EXT. STREET � DAY�� 37

TEEJAY follows JAVE from the store.

TEEJAY

Are you sure all this is necessary.

Jave nods to where RAGWORTS FLOATING PALACE is hovering just outside the city, tethered to the ground by small rope ladders. It is a majestic looking residence, made of white marble and glistening in the sun.

JAVE

What do you propose we do?� Knock on the door.

38�� EXT. RAGWORTS PALACE BALCONY�� 38

Teejays hand holds the doorknocker as he KNOCKS on the main entrance to the palace.� A timid looking ATTENDANT opens it.� He is dressed in a bizarre uniform of large black and white cheques, like a chessboard.� TEEJAY and JAVE stand before him, holding ladders, buckets and mops.

JAVE

Jave and Teejay, window cleaners, French polishers and general mop up men�

TEEJAY

No job to big�

JAVE

Or to small�

TEEJAY

And not at all interested in rescuing princesses.

JAVE nudges him angrily.

JAVE

If it�s not too much trouble, we�d like to ask his most evil Baron Ragwort if he�d like his palace scrubbed.

The attendant beckons them in silently.

39�� INT. PALACE CORRIDOR � DAY�� 39

JAVE and TEEJAY wait nervously outside the doors to the baron�s room.

JAVE

(Whispers to Teejay)

Prepare yourself for the greatest evil you can imagine.� In fact, something even more evil than that.

The doors open, and they creep nervously forward.

40�� INT. RAGWORTS ROOM � DAY�� 40

JAVE and TEEJAY enter with extreme caution.� A large revolving chair sits at one end of the room, faced away from them.� It swings round�

To reveal the most UNINTIMIDATING PERSON YOU�VE EVER SEEN.� He�s late 30�s, small in stature and balding.� His dull, nervous voice matches his person.

RAGWORT

Hello.

JAVE and TEEJAY try to keep a straight face.

JAVE

Hi.

TEEJAY

How you doing.

They turn away and break into HUGE GRINS.

JAVE

(Whispered to Teejay)

Intimidating, like my grandma.

TEEJAY

(Whispered to Jave)

You�re right; I could never have imagined that.

They turn back, looking as serious as possible.

JAVE

Your most evilness, my partner and I were just wondering if your palace needed a little extra shine putting in it, for a lower price than any other company.� Guaranteed.

TEEJAY

Guarantee is fictional.

Jave nudges him again.� Ragwort ponders the question for a few seconds.

RAGWORT

Sure.

41�� INT. PALACE HALL � DAY�� 41

JAVE and TEEJAY sit upon a giant chandelier, polishing it.� Teejay has pulled a headband from his pocket, and is tying it around his head.

JAVE

We must have got the wrong baron.� He couldn�t kidnap a cold.� (Looks up at Teejay)� What�s that shabby piece of rope round your head for?

TEEJAY

(A little offended)

This is my hives headband.� (Points to a couple of feathers sticking out)� The feathers are awarded for outstanding work.

JAVE

(Points to a crumpled looking feather)

What�s that one for?

TEEJAY

Dedication to nursery duty.

JAVE

(Pointing to the other feather)

And this?

TEEJAY

(A little embarrassed)

Ah, I put that in myself, I just thought it was a nice feather.

Jave struggles to suppress a smirk.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

Well, what about your hat.� I don�t think I�ve actually seen what the top of your head looks like.�

JAVE

(A little taken back)

Hey.� This hat saved my life.

He finally takes it off and points to a long scar running down one side of it.

JAVE (CONT�D)

A cop once took a disliking to my face.� Had it not been for the hat it would have been my head with a large scar down the side.

He places his hat back on and hangs upside down from the chandelier, trying to reach a difficult place to polish.� He suddenly pauses and stares towards a large fish tank built into the wall.� He swings back on the chandelier, grabs hold of a curtain cord and unhooks his feet from the chandelier.� He holds onto the cord as his weight pulls it down with him, pulling the curtains closed at the same time.� He reaches the floor safely and walks to the fish tank. The fish are in fact miniature dolphins, killer whales and sharks, only a few inches long.� Through the tank can be seen another room, and various royal robes can just be seen draped over chairs.

Teejay reaches out from the chandelier and grabs hold of the curtain cord.� He also hangs on as his weight pulls him safely to the ground, this time opening the curtains.

He reaches Jave and pears in through the tank.

JAVE

Looks like a hidden room.

TEEJAY

I suppose you�re thinking the princess is held hostage in there.

JAVE

Yep.

TEEJAY

Me also.

Teejay takes his goggles from his pocket, slips them on, and opens up the lid.� He slowly emerges his head in, followed by his shoulders.� Jave gives him a helpful nudge and soon only his legs are sticking out.� An ATTENDANT enters the hall and regards them with suspicion.

JAVE

We ran out of long handled mops.� It won�t take him long.

Teejay is waggling his legs in the air, glaring at the attendant.� Jave mimics someone polishing, and Teejay gets the idea, pulling out a cloth and pretending to wipe the inside of the tank.� A tiny hammerhead shark nibbles at his ear, but he manages to keep smiling until the attendant retreats suspiciously.� As soon as she�s gone, Teejay swipes angrily at the shark, and his whole body falls in.

42�� INT. PRINCESSES ROOM � DAY�� 42

TEEJAY opens the lid of the fish tank and pokes his head out, to the greeting of someone laughing hysterically.

QUITIRI (O.S.)

You look like an UTTER FOOL.

Teejay looks somewhat put out as he looks at PRINCESS QUITIRI, who is the polar opposite of your standard princess.� She is overweight, spoilt, grubby, and looks somewhat of a tomboy.� Teejay pulls the goggles from his face as he stumbles out of the fish tank, and attempts a clumsy bow, while soaking the floor.

TEEJAY

(Forced)

A pleasure to meet your charming self.

The princess stands up from her chair and waddles over to the fish tank.

QUITIRI

You can climb inside here.� Cool.

TEEJAY

Yes.� My associate and I have come to rescue a five hundred thousand dollar reward� I mean, your fine self, and we plan to�

The princess has already swung her legs into the fish tank.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

Fine, we�ll escape right now then.

The princess drops into the tank, the miniature sea creatures hurriedly swimming out of the way, and water overflowing and spilling down the sides.� She lands straight on top of JAVE, who has entered the tank to join Teejay.� Quitiri climbs out again grinning.

QUITIRI

Boy.� That was fun.

TEEJAY

So we won�t escape then.

Jave surfaces, dripping wet and furious with being sat on.

JAVE

Who the hell is this fool.

QUITIRI

Ooh.� Can�t stick a little bit of fun, can we.

JAVE

Yeah.� You can stick a little bit of fun up your�

TEEJAY

JAVE.� This is princess Quitiri.

JAVE

(Suddenly changing tone)

And I was just about to commend you on an excellent little bit of fun, princess.

QUITIRI

I hope you haven�t come to rescue me.� It was so boring back at the palace, having to wear clean clothes all the time, waving politely at people, having never to FART.

Jave and Teejay manage a patronising smile for a second before turning round.

JAVE

(Whispered to Teejay)

A complete and utter lack of charm.

TEEJAY

(Whispered to Jave)

I think they let her be kidnapped.

JAVE

(Whispered to Teejay)

I�d pay a ransom, not to have her returned.

They look up startled at the sound of doors being unlocked.� They suddenly BURST open as RAGWORT and a band of ATTENDANTS enter.

RAGWORT

(Feebly trying to sound fearsome)

I hope you weren�t trying to rescue the princess.

JAVE

What in the world would give you that impression?

TEEJAY

She�s a princess.� We had no idea.

(Whispered to Jave)

What do you think he�ll do to us?

JAVE

(Under his breath to Teejay)

Most likely, he�ll torture us horribly.

43�� EXT. RAGWORTS PALACE BALCONY - SUNSET�� 43

RAGWORT, JAVE and TEEJAY sit at a table, sipping wine from different coloured glasses.� They overlook the mushroom city of Zaonce.� Teejay and Jave struggle to look interested with Ragworts story, which appears to have been dragging on the ages.

RAGWORT

(In mid explanation)

�It was a fantastic racing dragon egg, stood right in the middle of my hall.� Magnificent sparkling aqua, polished until you could see your reflection.�

(Jave manages a very weak look of interest)�

And it was stolen by Brett Guy and his cronies, for decorating the tombs of Prosponeous.� Well I had to show them that if your going to be an evil baron, you have to do it properly, and do you know what I did?

JAVE

I�m sure we will by midnight.

RAGWORT

I wrote a very strong worded letter, demanding my egg back.

JAVE

(Deadpan)

How utterly ruthless of you.

RAGWORT

And when that didn�t work, I set out to kidnap their princess to force them to give my egg back.�

(Teejay, who has been resting his head in his hands, suddenly slumps forwards as he falls to sleep, and jolts back to waking)

I didn�t really have the guts for it, but fortunately she distracted the guards herself and jumped aboard my palace.� Shall I fetch another bottle, gentlemen?

Jave and Teejay nod tiredly.� Ragwort stands up and walks off to fetch another bottle.

TEEJAY

You�re right, he did torture us horribly.� Poor guy really.� I think he should fly this palace straight to Prosponeous, and we can help him explain his side of the story.

JAVE

Something�s missing.

TEEJAY

I think he should fly this palace straight to Prosponeous, and we can help him explain his side of the story, and he rewards us for our help with generous donations from his personal fortune.

JAVE

Now that�s an idea.

44�� EXT. RAGWORTS PALACE BALCONY � DAY�� 44

The palace is now moored above the city of Prosponeous, a vast technologically advanced metropolis of high buildings and giant advertising boards.� The PROSPONEOUS BLIMP, the SILVER EAGLE, floats towards them.� It is metallic silver, and has a heavily armoured deck, which is open topped, and hangs beneath the balloon.� RAGWORT leans to TEEJAY.

RAGWORT

Are you sure this is going to work.

TEEJAY

Well, maybe it could�

(Crosses his fingers behind his back.)

Yeah, I�m sure it will.

Teejay walks up to JAVE and various palace ATTENDANTS, all dressed in the same bizarre outfits of black and white checks.� Ragwort disappears through the door.

45�� EXT. SILVER EAGLE DECK � DAY�� 45

BRETT GUY and his various TEAM MATES stand before a CAMERA MAN, before grabbing hold of two dozen ropes which they fling over the side, where they tumble to the deck of the palace, unfurling as they go.� They clip their belts to the ropes, and climb over the deck barrier.� The cameraman clips his belt to the rope, and with a look of extreme reluctance, climbs the barrier.� The team absails down the side of the silver eagle, looking from a distance like bugs hopping down the wall.� The cameraman, trying to film Brett, misses seeing a window on the side of the ship, and falls through it, being given a helpful push back out.� The team lands on�

46�� EXT. RAGWORTS PALACE BALCONY � DAY�� 46

...The deck of the palace.� The CAMERA MAN stumbles down, landing in a heap in the deck.� BRETT points his machine gun at TEEJAY, JAVE and the ATTENDANTS.

JAVE

I thought discussions were going to take place.

BRETT

(Nods to gun)

Yeah, well what have you got to say to this?

Jave pulls his MACHINE GUN from beneath his trench coat.� Brett FIRES at him, his team all drawing their guns.� The attendant�s dive into the main entrance, one of CRYING OUT in pain as a bullet hits her ankle. A bullet zips above Teejays head, destroying one of the feathers in his headband.� He dashes for the door, as Jave runs backwards while FIRING at the team.� Everyone inside, he SLAMS the doors shut.

47�� INT. STUDIO � DAY�� 47

The progress of Brett and his companions are being watched from a production studio.� The DIRECTOR looks disappointedly at the screen of Brett.� VARIOUS STAFF work at broadcasting and mixing the sound.

DIRECTOR

HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO MISS!� I COULD SHOOT BETTER WITH MY EYES CLOSED!

SOUND TECHNICIAN

We�re going to have to start hiring people for their shooting skills instead of their looks.

48�� INT. PALACE CORRIDOR � DAY�� 48

TEEJAY and JAVE rest with their backs against the door.

JAVE

I think I got my point across.

TEEJAY

Don�t believe in subtlety, do you?��

BRETT (O.S.)

Open the doors.�

They turn and run.� Teejay skids to a halt and runs back to the ATTENDANT crippled by the shot in the ankle.� He hoists her onto his back, and runs back towards Jave.� The door is barged open, BRETT and his team entering.

Further along JAVE rounds a corner, followed by TEEJAY and the ATTENDANT.� The rest of the ATTENDANTS have crowded themselves into a lift, leaving no room for anyone else.

JAVE

Out of room and out of luck.

The sound of the team marching down the corridor can be heard.� Teejay throws the attendant over the front of his shoulder, were she lands in the lift, being held up by the other attendants in a crowd surfing position.� One of the attendants manages a nod of thanks as the lift doors close.� Jave and Teejay dash down the corridor.� Jave FIRES at a pair of double doors, SHATTERING the glass.� He leaps through the space he�s created.� Teejay reaches the door, gives a shrug and opens it.� They reach a corridor branching off the main corridor, and dive into it, bullets SMASHING the wall just behind them.

�Brett chases them, passing a mirror.� He steps back to the mirror, checks his hair is perfect, and then continues the chase.� He reaches the corridor along with the CAMERAMAN and FIRES down it.� At the end of the corridor, Jave just has time to leap out of the way.� It�s to far for Teejay to make, and he dives into a small alcove, holding a statue.� Flattening himself against the statue, he is just out of the line of fire.� Seeing that Teejay is trapped, Jave reluctantly turns round and FIRES back at Brett, flattening himself against the wall and just poking his gun out.� A full-scale gunfight breaking out, Teejay peeks out from the alcove, to immediately shrink back again under a burst of fire.

Brett FIRES, shooting Javes hat off his head, where it lands a few yards behind next to a statue.� Jave dives for it while returning fire.� He grabs it and places it back on his head, a bullet hole still smoking in the edge of the rim.� The statues feet are BLOWN APART by Brett.� The statue falls, a real scimitar falling from its hands.� Jave grabs the scimitar and throws it along the corridor to Teejay.� Teejay reaches out to grab it, but fumbles it, the scimitar falling just in front of Brett.� Brett FIRES, skimming Javes trench coat pocket.� The bag of beetles is torn, and the beetles spill onto the floor, crawling off in different directions.� Jave stares open mouthed at his livelihood crawling away from him.� Jave FIRES, hitting Brett several times in the chest�

�But the holes reveal a bulletproof vest beneath.� Brett grins at him.� Jave leaps to the other side of the corridor, trench coat flying majestically behind him, and a bullet flying through it, just between his legs.� He FIRES straight into Brett�s groin, and he winces in pain, but he even has bulletproof pants.

BRETT

That still hurts you know.

JAVE

I bet you guys have bulletproof faces.

BRETT

We�re working on it.

Jave presses down on the trigger, but only a dull clicking is heard.� He�s out of bullets.� Brett walks slowly down the corridor, sure that he�s won.� Seeing his chance, Teejay dives for the scimitar, and grabbing it, swiftly slices off the end of Brett�s gun.� Brett cowardly dashes back down the corridor.� Teejay strides towards Jave, grinning triumphantly.

TEEJAY

That�s twice I�ve saved your sorry butt.

JAVE

I�ll give you my thanks when we�re out of the fire.�

Teejay turns to see the rest of Brett�s team marching down the corridor.� He follows Jave as he dashes through a door into the ladies toilets.

49�� INT. LADIES TIOLETS � DAY�� 49

JAVE and TEEJAY back into the toilets.� Teejay notices a thin wisp of smoke coming from behind a toilet door.� Teejay KICKS it open.� One of Brett�s TEAM MATES hides inside, smoking a cigarette and hiding from the battle.� Jave grabs him by the scruff of the neck, and marches him to the door.

JAVE

Hiding in the ladies room, now that�s low.

TEAM MATE

Sorry, I couldn�t find the blokes room.

Jave flings him outside, were he is almost shot by his fellow team members.�

TEEJAY

Hey, aren�t we hiding in the ladies.

JAVE

Well it�s different with us.

TEEJAY

Why?

JAVE

Erm�� Can�t stop and chat.

He FIRES at the team, which is rapidly approaching through the door.� Behind Jave�s back, a SECOND TEAM MEMBER emerges from the toilets, brandishing a sword and a shield.� He brings the sword down onto Javes head�

�But is cut short by Teejay blocking him with his scimitar.

TEEJAY

Three times.

JAVE

Yeah, yeah, more fighting and less talk.

A two way battle breaks out, a gunfight between Jave and the team trying to break into the toilets, and a swordfight between Teejay and the second team member.� Teejays scimitar clashes on his enemy�s shield.� His enemy fights viciously, forcing Teejay back.� He trips Teejay, who lands on the floor.� Teejay grabs a lid of a bin and uses it as a shield, deflecting a vicious blow, which scars the lid.� He jumps to his feet and they continue to clash swords as they move into one of the toilets.� Teejay leaps up, kicking the teammates hand down into the toilet bowl.� He kicks down on the handle, FLUSHING away his enemy�s sword.� He punches his enemy in the face, attempting to knock him unconscious.

TEAM MATE #2

Ow.

TEEJAY

Oh, sorry.

He steps out of the toilet and SLAMS the door in his face, this time knocking him out, as he falls onto the toilet.

TEEJAY

Now that�s what I � erm�call a punch out, I mean a knockout, no a� erm� yeah.�

JAVE

You�ll never be an action hero.

Teejay backs out of the toilet with his scimitar still drawn, scanning for other team members.� He stands back to back with Jave, who has his gun drawn, guarding the opposite direction.

TEEJAY

There�s an air vent that we could escape through.

JAVE

You want to dash for it.

TEEJAY

Yeah.

(A pause follows).

When?

JAVE

NOW.

They dash for the air vent, situated just above one of the toilets.� Teejay leaps up, thrusts his scimitar in the top of the vent and TEARS away the grid covering it.� Jave gives him a leg up and he clambers into the vent.� He turns round, and grabs Jave�s arm to help him up�

When the TEAM MEMBERS burst in.� They FIRE at Jave and Teejay.� Jave lets go and falls to the floor, FIRING back.

50�� INT. RAGWORTS ROOM � DAY�� 50

TEEJAY kicks open the air vent and drops down.� RAGWORT looks at him hopefully from his chair.

RAGWORT

Are the negotiations working?

TEEJAY

Well in a way� Depends on what you mean by working� No.

Teejay notices the door to the room is open, and members of the PROSPONEOUS HEROES are advancing.� Teejay dashes along the wall to the door as they FIRE at Ragwort.� He power slides into the door. It starts to swing close�

SMACK.� Ragwort is hit in the chest.� The door SLAMS shut a second later.� Teejay quickly locks it, and then runs to Ragwort, who lies slumped in his chair.

TEEJAY

(In disbelief)

YOU�VE BEEN HIT.

RAGWORT

I think I may be alright.

TEEJAY

Alright!� What part of hit don�t you understand?

RAGWORT

I keep a small bag of coins in my robe left pocket.� I think the bullet hit that.

Teejay looks under the robe in the inside pocket, to reveal a small bag of coins.�

RAGWORT (CONT�D)

(Relieved)

Is that lucky or what?

TEEJAY

Ragwort, this was under your left pocket.

RAGWORT

Yeah.

TEEJAY

You we�re shot in your right.

RAGWORT

Oh, damn.

Ragwort slumps further into his chair.

51�� INT. LADIES TOILETS � DAY�� 51

JAVE is involved in a gunfight with BRETT and fellow TEAM MEMBERS, who are being filmed in the midst of the action.� Jave won�t be able to hold them off much longer.

JAVE

You can�t get me; I�ve got a GUT BUSTER MARK 2 MACHINE GUN.

BRETT

(Confused)

So, we also have guns, more of them.

JAVE

And Prosponeous heroes is sponsored by little tyke weaponry, who are in competition with the GUT BUSTER SERIES.

BRETT

And you�re point?

JAVE

If you�re sponsor hears GUT BUSTER MARK 2 advertised on your program, they�ll sue.

52�� INT. STUDIO � DAY�� 52

The DIRECTOR and fellow STAFF watch the action on the screens.

DIRECTOR

He�s right. We can�t give a rival company advertising time.

SOUND ENGINEER

(Hopefully)

Maybe the sponsor won�t be watching.

The phone RINGS.� The director picks it up.� The angry words of a little tyke weaponry representative can be heard.

DIRECTOR

There again, maybe they are.

JAVE

(On screen)

Hah, what does your boss say to that?

DIRECTOR

(Into microphone)

Brett, I want you to take him down, at double speed.

53�� INT. LADIES TOILETS � DAY�� 53

BRETT lies flattened against a wall as he listens to the director over a small transmitter placed in his ear.� He beckons other TEAM MEMBERS and the CAMERA MAN, before charging straight at JAVE.

JAVE

GUT BUSTER WEAPONRY, AVAILABLE FROM ALL GOOD ARMS DEALERS��

(Notices Brett)

Hey.

He closes the toilet door halfway to give some kind of protection.� Brett ducks behind a bin, his other team members FIRING while peeking from around a corner.

JAVE

Look at you.� You couldn�t hit the broad side of an elephant.

Jave ducks behind the door to escape several bullets, which SMACK the wall behind him.� He pokes his head back round and FIRES back.

JAVE (CONT�D)

Stop playing around and shoot me�

A bullet HITS him in the arm.� He winces in pain.

JAVE (CONT�D)

I suppose I asked for that.

He swaps his gun to his other hand, and FIRES back.� He hits Brett�s arm, which is protected by bulletproof armour, but it�s still enough to make him drop his gun.� Brett reaches down for it, but Jave FIRES again, hitting the gun and knocking it out of the way.� Brett crawls to pick it up, and is HIT in the back of his bulletproof pants.

BRETT

It�s not so much the pain but the loss of dignity.

JAVE

But you�ve got to admit, it was a great shot.

BRETT

True.

JAVE

Brett, in view of just being shot in the buttocks, why are you still trying?

BRETT

(Nods at camera)

I�ve got fans to think about.

Jave FIRES, destroying the camera.

BRETT (CONT�D)

That�s it.� I�m off?

He dashes out of the toilets, followed by the cameraman.

54�� INT. PALACE KITCHEN � DAY�� 54

TEEJAY runs into the kitchen, followed by several TEAM MEMBERS.� He runs behind a row of pots and pans.� The team members FIRE, the bullets SMACKING into each pan and pot as Teejay passes behind them.� He reaches the end of a counter, and realizes he�s trapped.� A team member FIRES, and Teejay grabs a bottle of tomato sauce, and falls to the floor.� He makes a series of terrible death noises while spreading the sauce over a supposed wound.� A team member reaches him as he makes a final groan and shuts his eyes, forgetting to drop the bottle of sauce.

TEAM MATE#3

That�s the worst death act I�ve ever seen.� Why even bother?

TEEJAY

I didn�t think it was too bad.

(Suddenly realizes he�s definitely given the game away)

Oops.

Teejay raises his hands to surrender.

55�� INT. LADIES TOILETS � DAY�� 55

JAVE clutches his wounded arm as he walks up to the exit of the toilets.� Hoping the team members won�t be near, he kicks the door open.� Big mistake.� BRETT and his ENTIRE TEAM stand behind it, pointing guns at him.� Jave holds up his one good arm in a surrender sign.

56�� INT. PRINCESSES ROOM � DAY�� 56

BRETT enters the room, with PRINCESS QUITIRI regarding him suspiciously.

BRETT

Your highness, may you consider yourself rescued.

Qutiri childishly shoots at him with a peashooter. �Brett takes the splat of paper in the face.

QUITIRI

Aw boring.� I don�t want to be rescued.

Brett opens his mouth to make a cutting remark.

57�� INT. STUDIO � DAY�� 57

The DIRECTOR watches the action on the screen.

DIRECTOR

(Into microphone)

Be nice Brett, be nice.

58�� INT. PROSPONEOUS COURT ROOM � DAY�� 58

JAVE and TEEJAY stand guiltily in the packed courtroom, before the JUDGE.

JUDGE

How do you plead to the conviction of aiding baron Ragwort in his plans against our fair city?

JAVE

Innocent.

TEEJAY

More innocent than innocent.

JAVE

Innocent people look positively guilty along side us.

JUDGE

And would you like to explain what business you had in Ragworts palace.

JAVE

With pleasure.� You see, we decided to fool Mr Ragwort into believing that it was in his best interest to meet up with the Prosponeous authorities.

TEEJAY

And we therefore delivered the princess straight into your hands.

JUDGE

And would you like to explain this tape.� It�s recorded from a bug we placed in Ragworts palace?

The judge plays the tape.

TEEJAY (ON TAPE)

Say we get captured?� What�s our excuse in court?

JAVE (ON TAPE)

Then we say that we intended Ragwort to be captured, and that we were in conspiracy against him all along.

TEEJAY (ON TAPE)

Good idea.� I�m just nipping off for a leak, back in a sec.

Jave tries very hard not to burst out laughing.� Teejay turns red and buries his face in his hands.� The judge stops the tape.

JUDGE

Explanations please.

Jave and Teejay gaze around the courtroom, guiltily avoiding the question.� Desperate for a distraction, Teejay looks into a video camera.

TEEJAY

Hey look, I�m on TV.

59�� INT. RUST BUCKET � DAY�� 59

MARISHA, the BOSS and the rest of the hives ambassador team stare embarrassed at a screen showing Teejay in the courtroom.

TEEJAY

(On screen)

Hey I�m famous, I�d like to say a big hello to all my friends back at the hive.� Marisha, are you watching this?

Marisha shakes her head sadly.

60�� INT. PUB � DAY�� 60

LEETSI, DISO and various other pub goers watch the trial on TV.

JAVE (ON SCREEN)

I believe that it is your policy in dealing with foreign offenders, is to let the accused be tried in the court of their own city.

CHEERS rise from the pub goers.

LEETSI

He�s right.� Let�s see the judge get out of that one.

61�� INT. COURTROOM � DAY�� 61

JAVE and TEEJAY look hopeful for the first time in the case.� The JUDGE reaches for some papers.

JUDGE

This is the statement of the mayor of Escuro in dealing with Jave Black.� �Do what you like with him.� I don�t care.� Just don�t send him back here�.

(Jave sinks lower in his seat)

And a statement from the hives queen regarding Teejay Swezzan�� Teejay Swezzanal�

Teejay looks embarrassed at the reading of his name.

JUDGE (CONT�D)

The statement regarding Teejay.� �In the interest of keeping diplomatic relations with the city of Prosponeous, we have decided to let your courts deal with the defendant�.

(Teejay sinks lower into his seat)

And now for my favourite part, the sentences.� Baron Ragwort is sentenced to death.

RAGWORT lies on a stretcher, his wound bandaged up.� He gives a V sign to the judge.�

TEEJAY

(To Ragwort)

Well I�m sure even the most optimistic of us may feel like our plan didn�t quite work, but don�t worry.� I hear they cook you whatever you want for your last meal, completely free of charge, which is nice of them, and no more bills to pay either�

Ragwort raises his fingers to Teejay.

JUDGE

To Ragworts fellow conspirators, you are all given life sentences.

The line of Ragworts ATTENDANTS look glum.� SOLDIERS escort the guilty out of the courtroom.� Jave flops in his seat like a moody child, and the soldiers have to drag him out, his feet dragging along the floor.

62�� INT. PROSPONEOUS JAIL CELLS � NIGHT�� 62

TEEJAY sits glumly on the floor of his tiny cell, scribbling on the floor.� He has now written TEEJAY WAZ ERE on every available surface.� He listens to a small radio, which is playing something not dissimilar from panpipes.

In the cell next to him, JAVE has removed the bandage from his bullet wound.� He is poking inside with the end of a toothbrush.� Teejay watches him disgustedly.

TEEJAY

Doesn�t that hurt.

JAVE

(Sarcastically)

No, actually it feels somewhat ticklish.

Jave finally pops the bullet from his wound, and it lands through the bars in Teejays cell.� Teejay regards it morbidly, and then kicks it into the hallway.� He climbs onto his bed and tries to get comfortable, the bed SQUEAKING every time he moves.� A spring tears through the fabric, poking him in the ribs.� He shifts again, just getting comfortable�

�When Jave turns his radio on FULL BLAST to a burst of heavy metal.� Teejay sits up annoyed, and something catches his eye.� He walks to the bars of his cell were PRINCESS QUITIRI is waiting.

QUITIRI

Guess what I�ve done.

TEEJAY

Gained us a pardon.

QUITIRI

Nope.

TEEJAY

Gone on a diet.

QUITIRI

No cheeky.

She holds up a bunch of keys.

QUITIRI (CONT�D)

I�ve nicked the keys.

Teejay breaks into a huge grin.�

TEEJAY

Thank you, thank you. Thank you�

QUITIRI

You haven�t seen me here, right?

She hands the keys to Teejay who places them in the lock.

TEEJAY

Seen who miss?

Quitiri giggles like a naughty child.� Teejay opens the cell door and steps out.� He hugs Quitiri and then notices a door at the end of the hallway titled

PROSPONEOUS CITY

CONFIDENTIAL DOCUMENTS

TEEJAY

I�ve just got to check something out.� Take care.

Quitiri waves him bye.

QUITIRI

Don�t do anything I wouldn�t.

She giggles as Teejay unlocks the room.

63�� INT. CONFIDENTIAL DOCUMENTS ROOM � NIGHT�� 63

TEEJAY enters the room and turns on a small light.� The cabinets are arranged alphabetically, and he opens a draw of documents and rifles through them.� He finally finds the one he wants and pulls it out.� It�s a large file reading

WARNING

UNAUTHORISED PERSONS READING THIS DOCUMENT CAN BE SENTENCED TO HEAVY JAIL SENTENCES.

THE CONFISCATION OF BARON RAGWORTS EGG

He opens it to reveal a map of the tombs of Prosponeous.� He grabs a nearby rucksack and places the file in it.� He swings it over his shoulder and leaves the room.

64�� INT. JAIL CELLS � NIGHT�� 64

TEEJAY stands outside Javes cell.

TEEJAY

Jave.

But JAVE has his back to him, and can�t hear over his music.� Teejay picks the bullet of the floor and throws it at him.� It hits his head, and he turns, surprised to see that Teejay has escaped.� He turns of his radio and runs to the bars.

JAVE

How did you get out there?

TEEJAY

Listen.� I�ve got evidence in this bag that the Prosponeous authorities did steal Ragworts racing dragon egg.

JAVE

Let me out.

TEEJAY

It�s hidden in the their tombs.� All we have to do is find it and we clear our names and stop Ragwort getting his head lopped off.�

JAVE

Let me out.

TEEJAY

And I need your promise that you�re going to help me.

JAVE

I promise.� Let me out.

Teejay unlocks the door, and Jave steps out.

65�� INT. PRISON CORRIDOR � NIGHT�� 65

JAVE and TEEJAY peek from behind a corner before creeping around it.� Jave notices a WEAPON DISPENSING MACHINE, lit up in the dark, and walks up to it.� He pulls some coins from his coat and puts them in the machine.� He presses some buttons, and a MACHINE GUN falls to the dispenser, where Jave picks it up.

JAVE

Thank you kindly.

He presses some more buttons, and a few rounds of ammo fall to the dispenser.

TEEJAY

And what do I get?

Jave pockets the ammo.� He presses some more buttons, and a small knife falls to the dispenser.� Teejay picks it up.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

And what should I do with this?� Peel potatoes perhaps, slice cakes�

Jave presses a button, and the knife shoots to a three-foot long sword, narrowly missing Teejays face.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

Point taken.

The sound of footsteps and beams of torchlight comes from around the corner.

JAVE

Into the vent, quickly.

Teejay gives Jave a leg up onto the top of the machine, where he lifts up the grid covering an air vent.� He climbs in, and helps Teejay pull himself up.� Teejay climbs inside, his feet disappearing and the grid recovering the vent, just before two GUARDS round a corner.

66�� INT. AIR VENT � NIGHT�� 66

JAVE and TEEJAY crawl along the vent.

TEEJAY

Where do you reckon this will take us?

JAVE

Don�t worry; I�m sure it doesn�t lead anywhere important.

67�� INT. BOARDROOM MEETING � NIGHT�� 67

BRETT, various members of his TEAM, the DIRECTOR and PRODUCER of his show and various other BUSINESS PEOPLE, many of them looking like they�ve been there all night (which they have) sit around a large table discussing the future of the Prosponeous Heroes TV show.� The air vent runs along the top of the ceiling.� One businessman peers up at it, sure he could hear voices from within.� The producer points to a chart showing the fall in the ratings of Prosponeous Heroes.

PRODUCER

A twenty percent decrease in viewers during just this series.

DIRECTOR

We�re just not getting the same quality of villains that we used to.� I think we need a new character to join the team.

PRODUCER

What sort of character.� Brett will always be the lead character, and we�ve already got the love interest, we�ve got the token black guy.

The LOVE INTEREST and TOKEN BLACK GUY characters nod their heads.

PRODUCER (CONT�D)

What have we got in new merchandise?

The director pulls some items from his case.� The first is an action figure of Brett.� He hands it around, Brett inspecting it first.

BRETT

It�s cheap, it�s plastic, but it�s devilishly handsome.� I like it.

DIRECTOR

Pull the cord.

Brett pulls a cord in the back of the figure.

BRETT DOLL

OK team, let�s go.

BRETT

Do I really sound like that?

The business people nod.� The director hands a T-shirt around, with PROSPONEOUS HERO printed on it.

BRETT (CONT�D)

These should sell like hot cakes.

DIRECTOR

Prosponeous Heroes hot cakes, they�ll be on the shelves next week.

Above them, the air vent CREAKS.

TEEJAY (O.S.)

Uh-oh.� I think it�s giving way.

The air vent CRACKS open, and TEEJAY tumbles from it, landing in the centre of the table, surrounded by the startled members of meeting.� Brett goes into his action man pose.

BRETT

Give me one good reason not to fill you full of lead.

TEEJAY

You haven�t got a gun.

BRETT

Damn, your good.

JAVE (O.S.)

Aaahhhhhh.

JAVE falls from the vent onto the table.

TEEJAY

Nice of you to drop in.

Jave gives him a �that�s so predictable� look.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

Someone had to say it.

Jave places his gun to Brett�s head.

JAVE

Anyone move, and his brain gets it.

PRODUCER

(Muttered)

You�ll have to have a pretty good shot.

Jave moves off, holding Brett hostage, followed by Teejay.� They move through an exit.

68�� INT. STAIRWAY � NIGHT�� 68

JAVE marches BRETT up the stairs followed by TEEJAY.� Brett is so worried at being taken hostage that he faints.� Teejay grabs hold of his legs and helps Jave move him up the stairs.

TEEJAY

I thought that taking a hostage was meant to make our escape easier.

JAVE

No ones going to touch us if we�ve got their star player.

In the distance, BARKING can be heard.

JAVE (CONT�D)

They�ve released the hounds.

Suddenly worried, Jave drops Brett and dashes up the stairs, followed by Teejay.� They run up to�

69�� INT. CORRIDOR � NIGHT�� 69

TEEJAY pauses outside a door.

TEEJAY

Come on, you�ve got a gun, how dangerous can hounds be�

Answering his question, a GIANT BLACK HOUND, six feet tall, red eyed and snarling, BURSTS its head through the door.� Teejay dashes after JAVE, and they round a corner, running to a door at the end of a corridor.� Jave grabs the door�

To find it locked.

JAVE

Other way.

Jave and Teejay dash back down the corridor, right into the path of the hound, which has now smashed through the door.� They charge through another door.

70�� INT. OFFICE � NIGHT�� 70

JAVE and TEEJAY burst into an office, the HOUND at their heels.� Teejay, lagging behind, leaps onto a desk.� He jumps up to catch onto a lampshade, swinging himself just out of reach of the hound.� He lets go of the lampshade, lands on the floor�

And trips over.� The hound is soon upon him, grabbing him by the leg.� It picks him up in the air by his foot, and throws him against a wall, where he lies in a crumpled heap.� The hound is just about to pounce when Jave FIRES on it.� The hound turns and BARKS at Jave, when one of the bullets jams, rendering the gun useless.� But the hound has already turned back to lick its wounds.� Jave helps Teejay to his feet, his bitten foot bleeding.�

TEEJAY

I think we�re safe.

A dozen HOUNDS suddenly charge into the office.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

I should learn not to say things like that.

Jave and Teejay run from the office.� The hounds are soon at the exit, but unsure which way they turned.� Teejays bloodied footprints give them away.

71�� INT. CORRIDOR � NIGHT�� 71

JAVE and TEEJAY look back to see the HOUNDS charging after them.� A door at the end of the corridor is too far.� Jave turns to a lift, pressing the button rapidly to call the lift.� An OUT OF ORDER sign flashes.� Teejay pulls out his knife, jams it between the doors and opens it, to reveal a drop of thousands of feet down the lift shaft.� They look back at the hounds, now nearly upon them.

TEEJAY

In some bizarre way, it�s been nice knowing you.

JAVE

Same to you.

They leap into�

72�� INT. LIFT SHAFT � NIGHT�� 72

��The lift shaft, grabbing onto the lift cable.� They both let out big sighs of relief.

TEEJAY

Still alive.

JAVE

Don�t bet on it.

A hound SWIPES at them, its claws slashing Teejays rucksack.� A swipe any nearer and he�d be history.� Suddenly getting an idea, he cuts at one of the ropes of the lift cable.

JAVE

I presume the idea behind this is that we will shoot upwards out of harms way.

Teejay shrugs.� The rope frays, then SNAPS.� Nothing happens.� Then a CREAKING is heard above.� A lift is plummeting down to meet them.

TEEJAY

Oops.� Wrong rope.

Another idea strikes Teejay.�

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

Promise not to drop me.

JAVE

Why�

Teejay lets go of the rope, leaving just his feet rapped around.� Jave grabs him, holding him on.� Teejay takes of his headband, kisses it, and ties one end tightly around his wrist.

TEEJAY

Grab my hand.

Jave looks up at the lift, nearly upon them now, and shrugs.� He grabs Teejays hand.� Teejay flings his other hand out towards the hounds, one of them grabbing hold of his headband.� The hound pulls Teejay�

73�� INT. CORRIDOR � NIGHT�� 73

�back into the corridor.� JAVE, holding on tightly, is pulled up after him, just as the lift crashes past them.� TEEJAY is face to face with a HOUND.� This is even worse trouble.

JAVE

I hope you have a brilliantly harebrained scheme to get us out of this one.

TEEJAY

Sorry, I�m out of ideas.

Jave notices a fire extinguisher on the wall.� He slowly inches his hand towards it�

When the hounds pounce.� Jave grabs the fire extinguisher, BASHES it down on one hounds head, and swings it around, spraying white foam into the circling hounds eyes.� They back off just long enough for Jave to pluck Teejay to his feet.� He runs for the door at the end of the corridor, spraying the floor with white foam, the pursuing hounds slipping over.

74�� INT. CAF� � NIGHT�� 74

JAVE and TEEJAY dash through the door, locking it behind them.

TEEJAY

Fire extinguisher, why didn�t we think of that first?

SOLDIER (OS)

Open up.

With soldiers trying to force entry, the only way out is through the window.

JAVE

Come on, we can jump to the ground from here.

They climb onto the window ledge, and push the revolving window�

75�� EXT. CAF� � NIGHT�� 75

And JAVE and TEEJAY find themselves teetering on the window ledge, looking down at the ground, around 100 stories below them.

TEEJAY

I�ll let you jump first.

SMASH.� Soldiers are beginning to break down the door.� Jave produces a rope with a hook on the end of it.

76�� INT. CAF� � NIGHT�� 76

SOLDIERS SMASH the door open, and rush to the window, but there is no one to be seen.

77�� EXT. CAF� � NIGHT�� 77

SOLDIERS scan the walls with searchlights, as it is gradually revealed that below them huge letters welded onto the side of the building spell out PROSPONEOUS HEROES, and hiding inside one of the O�s are TEEJAY and JAVE.� The letter is just deep enough for them to be hidden from above, the beams from the searchlights passing just in front of them.� The soldiers get tired of searching and close the window.� Jave and Teejay relax.

JAVE

Looks like the only way out is onto that ledge down there.

From the building opposite is a balcony that juts out from a flying machine hanger, about a story below them.

TEEJAY

We�ll never make it.� Lets wait, I�m sure we�ll think of a better way.

78�� EXT. CAF� � DAWN�� 78

JAVE and TEEJAY still haven�t thought of anything, though Teejay has bandaged up his leg.

JAVE

Any ideas.

Teejay shakes his head.� Jave stands up.

JAVE (CONT�D)

Well here�s one.

He LEAPS from the O, trench coat flying behind him. He just lands on the balcony.� Teejay throws the rucksack over, followed by the machine gun, which Jave catches.� Teejay prepares to jump, when CREAK, the letter O is being pulled from the wall after holding their wait.� Teejay clings on as the top of the O becomes detached from the wall.� The letter swings around, now only being held by the bottom (which has now become the top).� Teejay tumbles inside it.� He discovers that behind him he can now see an office.� He gives what he believes is a charming smile to a SECRETARY inside.

JAVE

Teejay, you can smile at pretty ladies all you like when you�re not hazardously suspended above certain death.

Teejay is not listening and is continuing to flirt through the window.

JAVE (CONT�D)

Teejay, you�re flies are undone.

Teejay turns round startled and checks them.

JAVE (CONT�D)

Not really, but it was the only way to get your attention.

TEEJAY

It would be easier for me to get through this window.

The letter CREAKS, and Teejay changes his mind.� He takes a look down, and then looks at the balcony.� He leaps�

And places his good foot on the balcony, followed by his injured foot.� He quickly picks up his injured foot due to the pain, and teeters back on the edge of the balcony.� He is just about to fall when Jave grabs him, pulling him to safety.

TEEJAY

You know if that secretary wasn�t watching, I�d give you a big hug and kiss.

JAVE

Good job she�s there.

Teejay gives the secretary another smile, before Jave drags him away from the ledge.

79�� INT. HANGER � DAWN�� 79

The door slides open and JAVE and TEEJAY enter.� Inside are a number of flying vehicles.

Jave walks up to a contraption looking like a hand glider, with a pilots seat and a seat at the

back for a passenger.

JAVE

Provided in case of escapees.

Teejay wanders up to a security camera.

80�� INT. GUARDS ROOM � DAWN�� 80

A GUARD watches the image on the camera.� TEEJAY is peering right at the camera.

TEEJAY

Do you suppose this thing is on?

JAVE walks into view and BURPS into the camera.� He then proceeds to make a kiss my butt

sign into it.

The guard picks up a radio.

GUARD

Surveillance to Prosponeous Heroes, we have two idiots in hanger number 2.

81�� INT. HANGER � DAWN�� 81

�

TEEJAY is now in the pilots seat, reading through a large instruction manual.� A door to the

hanger suddenly swings open, and BRETT, his LOVE INTEREST, the TOKEN BLACK

GUY and the CAMERA MAN enter.� JAVE aims his gun.

BRETT

Three to one, you�d be a fool to�

Jave FIRES.� Brett and his team duck behind a wall.� Jave jumps into the passenger seat, and

Teejay starts peddling, moving out towards the balcony.

JAVE

Do you know how to pilot this thing.

TEEJAY

(Reading manual)

Lets see, for pulling up, see page 7.

He turns to page 7�

To find that�s missing.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

Ah.

82�� EXT. HANGER � DAWN�� 82

TEEJAY looks up from the manual to see they have moved onto the balcony.� Before he can stop, they plummet over the edge.

TEEJAY

OK.� I think this might be up.

He pushes the handlebars forwards, and they go into a dive.

83�� EXT. PROSPONEOUS CITY � DAWN�� 83

JAVE looks as though he�s going to throw up.� TEEJAY looks horrified at the city streets as they rapidly approach.

TEEJAY

Or maybe this is up.

He pulls the handlebars back, and the contraption begins to pull out of the dive.� It levels out just above the street, startling pedestrians.� The wheel clips a banner dedicated to the Prosponeous Heroes, and with Teejay peddling frantically, they begin to climb.� Jave seated facing backwards, sees FOUR FIGURES fly from the hanger.

JAVE

We�ve got company, take a turn.

Teejay jams the handlebars left, and they move between two of the massive skyscrapers that make up the city.�

JAVE (CONT�D)

Find somewhere we can hide.

Looking into a side street, Teejay notices a parade, complete with huge balloons and flying machines.� Teejay takes a sharp right and slows down, keeping pace with the parade to blend in.

JAVE (CONT�D)

Looks like they�ve been going all night.

84�� EXT. FURTHER BACK � DAWN�� 84

BACK in the last street, BRETT and his CREW have ROCKET POWERED JET PACKS on their backs.� They�ve lost track of Teejay and Jave.

BRETT

(Into radio)

Split up.

They split up, flying down different streets.

85�� EXT. PARADE � DAWN�� 85

The TOKEN BLACK GUY flies up to the parade, and flies alongside it, watching every flying vehicle closely.� From the contraption, JAVE watches him cautiously, hiding his gun.� The guy flies past them slowly; both TEEJAY and Jave carefully stare straight in front of them.� The guy flies past them, it seems they haven�t been spotted�

When he flies back for a second look.

TOKEN BLACK GUY

(Into radio)

I�ve found them, in the parade down orange tree avenue�

Jave FIRES at him, hitting his jet pack.� He falls down into the parade, where he lands in a flotilla full of CHEERLEADERS.� A wide grin spreads across his face, deciding this isn�t a bad idea after all.

In the contraption, Jave spots the other three TEAM MEMBERS as they enter the parade.

JAVE

Our covers blown, lets go.

Teejay starts peddling faster, with the team members in hot pursuit.� The team FIRES at them, hitting balloons that burst just behind Jave and Teejay.� Members of the parade scatter, while those who are too drunk merely stagger around startled.� Balloons pop all the way along the parade, as BRETT�s shots miss hopelessly.� Teejay takes the contraption low, and pulls out his knife.� As he passes a large balloon he leans out, presses the button and the sword pops out.� He slashes the rope holding it down.� He clicks the sword back to a knife, and regains control of the contraption just as it�s about to smash into a wall.� The balloon rises up, blocking the path of their pursuers.� When the balloon has floated out of their way, Jave and Teejay have disappeared.

86�� EXT. PROSPONEOUS CITY � DAWN�� 86

In the contraption, JAVE and TEEJAY have turned a corner.� Looking ahead, Teejay sees the gap between the skyscrapers is thinner than the breadth of their contraption.

TEEJAY

Dead end.

Jave sees the TEAM MEMBERS emerge from the parade street, and after scanning all directions, they are spotted and chased after.

JAVE

Do you know how to roll?

The dead end is rapidly approaching.

TEEJAY

Not really.

They are about lose their wings as they enter.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

Yes.

They roll 90 degrees, just fitting through the passageway.� Jave slips to the side of his seat, which is fortunately surrounded by a basket.� Teejay struggles to maintain control as he has also slid to the side of his seat.� Behind them, the team members enter the narrow passageway easily, rocket packs being much narrower.� The wingtip of the contraption scrapes against the passageway, and only leaving the exit of the passageway prevents them from destroying themselves. �The team members leave the exit, and FIRE at the contraption, RIPPING a hole in one of the wings.�

Ahead of them, the street is lined with washing lines spreading from one skyscraper to skyscraper, blocking their path.� Teejay guides the contraption under one line and sharply upwards over another.� The team members follow, ducking under and over the washing lines.� Jave FIRES at them as the chase proceeds dangerously through the lines, but only succeeds in shooting clothes full of holes.� The contraption flies between the narrow space above and below a line, scraping the clothes of the upper line. A pair of underpants falls onto Jave's head.

The LOVE INTEREST character flies into a shirt, taking it with her.� Covered by the shirt, she is unable to see, and crashes into the CAMERAMAN.� She then rebounds off, and crashes into a billboard advertising Brett�s latest single.� The cameraman bounces off the washing lines as he tumbles downwards.� He lands on a line with each leg on a different side.� Painful.� He then falls down into a water fountain, a statue of Brett in a heroic pose poised above it.

Jave searches the sky, but Brett appears to have disappeared.

JAVE

I think he�s disappeared.

TEEJAY

You know what�s going to happen now you�ve said that.

JAVE

Oh, yeah.

BRETT appears In front of them.� Teejay starts to take the contraption into a huge U turn, narrowly missing the first wall.� He turns as narrowly as possible, Brett�s FIRE hitting the frame.� The contraption clips the second wall.� Teejay peddles as fast as possible, Brett fast gaining on them.� Teejay turns a corner to find that he�s now on the outskirts of Prosponeous.� Below them, an extremely fast, yet steam driven train runs along a line.

JAVE

We have to hitch a lift on that train.� It�s the only way we can outrun him.�

Teejay positions the contraption just above the train, which speeds below them.� Jave gives a parting shot at Brett and leaps�

87�� EXT. TRAIN ROOF � DAWN�� 87

�And lands on the train�s roof.� JAVE looks up at TEEJAY.

JAVE

Jump.

TEEJAY

Maybe this is a bad time to tell you, but I have a problem with letting go of things.

BRETT shoots at the contraption, and it begins to fall apart.� Unable to control it, Teejay (with his rucksack strapped on) crashes into the train roof, the contraption smashing into pieces around him.� He rolls, coming to a stop just before the gap between the carriages.� Lying belly up, he grabs onto a rail running along the side of the roof.�

Seeing the last carriage pass beneath him, Brett knows he can�t keep pace with the train.� He dives down and just manages to grab onto the roof.� He rids himself of the cumbersome jet pack and aims his gun.� He FIRES in a line up along Teejay�s carriage.� Seeing the bullets about to reach him, Teejay has only one choice.� Clinging to the rail, he rolls of the roof, and hits the side of the train.

88�� INT. TRAIN CARRIAGE � DAWN�� 88

A startled PASSENGER stares at TEEJAY, as he clings for life to the side of the train.

89�� EXT. TRAIN ROOF � DAWN�� 89

JAVE FIRES at BRETT, who FIRES back at him.� Jave stands in order to jump across a gap between carriages.� Looking behind him, he notices a rapidly approaching tunnel.� He leaps across the gap and flattens himself against the roof just in time.� The tunnel rushes over him.� Further down, Brett stares at the approaching tunnel, ducking as it rushes over.�

TEEJAY flattens himself against the side of the carriage as he clings on.� His rucksack scrapes the side of the tunnel slightly, the metallic buckles sparking.� And suddenly they�re out of the tunnel.� Jave reaches Teejay.

JAVE

Don�t let go.

TEEJAY

Nice advice.� Personally I was going to drop to my doom.

Jave FIRES at Brett, his gun clicking.� Out of ammo.� Brett notices and climbs along the roof more confidently.� Jave is suddenly struck by an idea.� He takes of his trench coat.

JAVE

Shame.� Nice coat.

He lets go of it, and it flies down the train, wrapping itself around Brett, who loses his footing and rolls backwards, disappearing of the end of the train.� Jave gives him a mock salute.

JAVE

(Mockingly)

OK team, let�s go.

Jave loses his sense of humour when his hat suddenly flies off.� He turns to Teejay.� The track is now going along a low bridge above the sea.

JAVE

We need to jump.

Teejay looks down at the water.

JAVE (CONT�D)

On three, one, two�

They are suddenly passing over sharp jagged rocks.

JAVE (CONT�D)

OK, start again.

They are over water again.

JAVE (CONT�D)

One, two�

Teejay loses his grip and SPLASHES into the water.

JAVE (CONT�D)

Three.

Jave leaps from the train.

90�� EXT. SEA � DAWN�� 90

JAVE hits the water�

And is shocked to find that it is less than waist deep.� He turns to TEEJAY, who is limping towards him.� They walk along the shore.� Teejay pulls the CONFIDENTIAL DOCUMENTS from his bag and shows a page to Jave.

TEEJAY

See here, Ragwort�s egg is hidden in the tombs.� We can use this map to find it.

JAVE

Good luck to you.

TEEJAY

Excuse me, the word is we.� You promised to help me when I let you out of the cell.

JAVE

Well� I probably had my fingers crossed at the time.

TEEJAY

I was watching you, they were definitely not crossed.

JAVE

Then� I had mentally crossed my fingers.

Teejay glares at him.

JAVE (CON�T)

To enter the tombs is suicide.

TEEJAY

So you�re going to return home, both of us will be turned in by our own city�s, you know that.

JAVE

Enter the tombs and you�re sentencing yourself to the death penalty.

Jave finds his hat and picks it up.� He turns and walks back in the direction they came, away from Prosponeous.

TEEJAY

I saved your life� three times.

BRETT

I saved you from the hound, I saved you from plummeting to your death, and� I saved you on the train, probably.� We�re even.

Jave continues to walk away from Teejay.� Teejay looks at a map in one of the documents, and turns to walk in the opposite direction from Jave.

91�� EXT. OUTSIDE PEARL CITY � DAY�� 91

JAVE wades knee deep in water, even though he is several miles from the shore, the water remains less than two feet deep.� He fans himself with his hat.� We follow him walking to reveal PEARL CITY, a beautiful city sitting in the sea made from giant white shells, corals and white marble.� Pools of salt lie everywhere, and a few trees decorate the top. RESIDENT�S of the city wade out to greet him.� They are all young, beautiful, well tanned and dressed in white.�

RESIDENT #1

Welcome to pearl city.� Make yourself at home.

JAVE

You mean I can actually make myself� a home here.

RESIDENT #2

Sure.

JAVE

And there�s no catch.� I mean, how do you get the funding for all this, why are there no ugly people here.

RESIDENT #3

What�s ugly?

Jave can�t believe his good fortune.� He slowly breaks into a wide grin.� He leaps into the air.

JAVE

YES.

92�� EXT. SEA � DAY�� 92

Elsewhere, wading through an equally shallow part of the sea miles from the shore, TEEJAY isn�t quite so lucky.� A very small and very low THUNDERCLOUD hangs directly above him, soaking him.� He breaks into a run, splashing from beneath the cloud.� But the cloud appears to have a mind of its own, and floats back over to him.� Seeing that there appears to be no escape, he falls down and pounds the water.

TEEJAY

NOOOO.

93�� EXT. PEARL CITY � NIGHT�� 93

JAVE lies in a hammock among the RESIDENTS.� They are grouped around a fire.� A resident pulls an item looking very much like a loaf of bread from a tree and offers it to Jave.

RESIDENT #1

More breadfruit?

JAVE

Thanks.

He cuts a slice from the breadfruit, and bites it, savouring the taste.� The residents are adding fuel to the fire, and Jave suddenly notices that they are burning hundreds of notes.� He leaps out of the hammock.

JAVE

Hey, hey, money doesn�t grow on trees.

RESIDENT #2

Yes it does.

He points to a tree, where the leaves are made of money.� Jave runs to the tree, grasping a handful of notes in each fist, and falls to his knees, eyes watering at how lucky he is.

94�� EXT. SEA � DAY�� 94

TEEJAY lies sleeping in the foot high sea, his head just propped out of the water by his rucksack.� A bottle floats up to his leg.� He awakens and picks it up.� Inside is a NOTE, which he pulls out and reads.� It has a picture of him and Jave on it, and reads,

WANTED: PREFERABLY ALIVE

JAVE BLACK and TEEJAY SWEZZANALIA

FOR CRIMES AGAINST THE CITY OF PROSPONEOUS

REWARD: $20,000 EACH

Teejay drops the bottle and tries to get comfy against the rucksack�

�When in the distance he notices a small army of WHITE HORSES cantering to him across the sea.� Seated on them are BRETT and his TEAM MEMBERS.� Teejay jumps to his feet, slings his bag over his shoulder and dashes away from the team, in the direction of where the sea is a dark blue, indicating a sudden drop from the foot high sea.

BRETT presses his earpiece to hear his director.

DIRECTOR (O.S.)

You can�t just cut him down.� Make it dramatic.� I want a one on one fight.

The team members have quickly caught up with Teejay.� Drawing his sword, Brett leaps from his horse and chases after Teejay.� Slowing down but not daring to look back, Teejay draws his knife, and presses the button and points it behind him as it shoots into the sword�

Exhausted, Teejay stops for a breath and peers around.� The point of the sword is just an inch from Brett�s neck, and Brett has stopped terrified.� Teejay suddenly realises his advantage.

TEEJAY

So what are you going to do about that?

Brett raises his sword and points it just below Teejay�s neck.� It�s Stalemate, with neither daring to move.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

Ah� So what do we do now?

BRETT

I�ll count to three and then we�ll both step back and settle this in the proper manner.

TEEJAY

OK. Hang on, how about I count to three.

BRETT

Fine.

TEEJAY

One, two� hang on, lets count to four instead.

BRETT

Just hurry up, you�re embarrassing me in front of fans.

TEEJAY

One, two, three� four.

They both take a step back and face each other.� Brett swings his word around, showing off.� Teejay lets the rucksack drop from his shoulders and pulls of the same trick, but his sword flies from his hand and lands point down in the sandy bottom, exactly between them.� They both wait for a couple of seconds�

�And then dash for the sword.� Teejay just grabs it first, and brings it up to meet Brett�s sword.

95�� INT. STUDIO � DAY�� 95

The DIRECTOR watches the vicious swordfight that has just broken out.

96�� INT. BEDROOM � DAY�� 96

A couple of TEENAGE GIRLS watch the fight live on TV.� The room is papered in Prosponeous Heroes wallpaper, and one of them clutches a Brett cushion.� They SCREAM and generally over react as they watch their hero.

97�� INT. LIVING ROOM � DAY�� 97

A SMALL BOY watches the program intently, while clutching his own plastic sword.

98�� EXT. SEA � DAY�� 98

With the CAMERA MAN recording, the fight rages on.� BRETT knees TEEJAY'S hand, his sword flying backwards out of his hand.� Teejay flips backwards, plucking his sword from the sea and landing back on his feet, just a step away from a drop to chest high water.� Brett lunges at him, and Teejay SLICES at his head, slashing off just the top of his hair.� Brett looks horrified as his hair drops into the water.� He savagely attacks Teejay, sending him SPLASHING into the deeper water.� Brett stands with his sword poised, foot resting on Teejay's bag, as he waits for Teejay to surface�

�Teejay�s hand bursts from the water to grab his bag.� As he pulls it down, Brett�s foot becomes entangled in the strap, and he�s dragged down.

UNDERWATER, the fight continues, with movements much slower below the water.� They surface, CLASHING swords, and then Teejay trips Brett, and they go tumbling BELOW THE SURFACE again. �Teejay SLASHES Brett across the arm, blood pouring from the wound.

From the shallow water, the rest of the TEAM MEMBERS watch with anxious faces.

99�� INT. STUDIO � DAY�� 99

The DIRECTOR watches anxiously.

DIRECTOR

That wasn�t Brett�s blood� was it?

100�� EXT. SEA- DAY�� 100

BRETT climbs out of the chest high water to where he can stand facing the rest of the TEAM.� He clutches his bleeding arm.

BRETT

Shoot him.

TEEJAY has put his rucksack on and is fixing his BREATHING APPARATUS on.� He turns to see that the entire team are aiming at him with their guns.� He ducks�

101�� EXT. BELOW THE WATER - DAY�� 101

�And swims along the bottom.� Bullets STREAK through the water, leaving trails of bubbles.� Teejay reaches the ocean shelf, were the bottom drops vertically from chest high water to disappear in the depths below.� He dives down, the wall shielding him from the bullets.� He clutches onto the stalk of some GIANT KELP.�

102�� EXT. SURFACE � DAY�� 102

The TEAM still have their guns raised and FIRE into the sea.� BRETT, now seated on his horse, holds up his hand.

BRETT

Just wait a sec.� Can anyone see our target?

The shooting stops as the team slowly shakes their heads.

103�� EXT. BELOW SURFACE � DAY�� 103

TEEJAY continues to cling to the kelp when he notices a faint shape moving in the distance.� He watches it closely, spinning slowly around to watch it�

�When he is suddenly face to face with a six foot long SEA SERPENT, he climbs the kelp to escape it.� But it wraps itself around his leg and starts dragging him down to the depths below.� Teejay clings to the kelp, just managing to hang on.� Noticing the buoyancy bubbles in the kelp, he pulls out his knife and starts to cut at the kelp stem.� Another sea serpent wraps itself around his other leg.� The stem is cut through and floats towards the surface, with Teejay clinging on.� Fearing the surface, the sea serpents let go.

104�� EXT. SURFACE � DAY�� 104

TEEJAY reaches the surface.� He lets go of the kelp and climbs onto a GIANT LILLY PAD, three metres across.� The TEAM have noticed him, and raise their guns.� Teejay looks helpless.

Suddenly, a GIANT SEA SERPENT, thirty metres long, BURSTS from the water.� The entire team swing their horses around and gallop away.� The serpent LUNGES out of the water and grabs an unfortunate TEAM MEMBER from his horse.� It retreats back into the water, the team member�s legs still dangling from its mouth.

Teejay watches the retreating team, and then pears below the water.� There�s no sign of the serpent.� Teejay is just relaxing when the Lilly pad he is standing on suddenly jolts.� He notices that the Lilly pad is slowly sinking below the water, obviously being dragged from below.� He leaps onto a lilly pad next to it, and watches the other lilly pad being dragged completely under water.�

Now this other lilly pad is also being dragged under water.� He leaps onto another lilly pad next to it, and watches as his last lilly pad disappears completely.� He looks around.� He�s standing on the last lilly pad.� The serpent BURSTS from the water and looks down on Teejay.� It�s tail wraps itself around his leg and plucks him into the air.� The serpent opens it�s mouth wide open and drops Teejay into it, swallowing him whole.

105�� INT. SERPENT�� 105

TEEJAY slides down the serpents gut with his breathing apparatus on.� He bumps into the TEAM MEMBER who was swallowed earlier.� Bubbles burst from Teejays mouth as he screams.� The heartbeat of the serpent can be clearly heard.� Calming down, Teejay looks around at the skeletons of fish and unfortunate sailors.� He must be in the stomach.� He floats to the lining of the stomach and draws his knife.� He presses the button and the sword shoots into the serpent�s stomach wall.

106�� EXT. BENEATH SURFACE � DAY�� 106

The sword SLASHES out of the SERPENTS belly.� The serpent writhes in pain.

107�� INT. SERPENT�� 107

TEEJAY slices at the belly until the hole is a couple of feet wide.� He withdraws the sword and squeezes out of the opening�

108�� EXT. BENEATH SURFACE � DAY�� 108

TEEJAY emerges from the SERPENT, along with various stomach contents.� Angered, the serpent spots him and lunges towards him.� Teejay is a second from being swallowed once more when a pair of hands suddenly grabs him.� It�s a RESIDENT of Pearl City, who is riding a DOLPHIN.� He pulls Teejay onto the back of the dolphin and they swim to safety.

109�� EXT. PEARL CITY � DAY�� 109

JAVE lies in a hammock as he watches TEEJAY, who is still soaking wet.

JAVE

Have fun?

TEEJAY

You promised to help me find the egg.� I�m giving you one last chance.

JAVE

One last chance or else what?

Teejay picks up Jave�s MACHINE GUN and points it at him.

JAVE (CONT�D)

What are you doing?

TEEJAY

If you won�t help me out of your own free will.� I�ll have to take you hostage.

Jave doesn�t appear concerned.

JAVE

Really?� Well I�m not moving, so I guess you�ll have to shoot me.

Teejay is now stumped.

JAVE (CONT�D)

Go on just pull the trigger.� It�s simple enough.

TEEJAY

OK, OK, maybe I don�t dare to shoot you�

He picks up Jave�s hat.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

But I�d dare shoot your hat.

Jave is suddenly alarmed.� He leaps from the hammock.

JAVE

No, no, no, not the hat.

TEEJAY

So you want to help me out?

Jave considers for a second.

JAVE

You realise I�m just doing this out of sympathy.

Teejay breaks into a broad grin.� They both start descending from Pearl City, walking towards the TOMBS OF PROSPONEOUS, which is visible on the far horizon.

TEEJAY

We�re going to be famous after exposing this, rich and famous.

JAVE

Yeah, yeah, just don�t crease the hat.

110�� EXT. PROSPONEOUS CITY - DAY�� 110

CITIZENS and OFFICIALS are gathered around a GUILLOTINE.� RAGWORT is wielded towards it in a wheel chair.� BRETT, a bandage around his wounded arm, watches with a smug smile.� An EXECUTIONER reads from a paper.

EXECUTIONER

This is to certify that Baron Ragwort is to be executed for the kidnap of our princess.� Do you have any last words?

RAGWORT

Can I have an appeal?

EXECUTIONER

No.

Two officials lift Ragwort from his stretcher and place his head into the hole in the guillotine.� Ragwort closes his eyes tightly.� The executioner unloops a rope.� And the guillotine blade slowly begins to creak down slowly, jamming slightly on the wood.� A young OFFICIAL suddenly bursts onto the scene.

OFFICIAL

(Breathlessly)

Stop.� Stop the execution.

The blade finally slips.� The executioner rolls his eyes and grabs a rope.� The blade stops, an inch from Ragworts neck.

EXECUTIONER

This better be good.

OFFICIAL

The Princess has signed a pardon for everyone involved in her kidnapping.

Brett holds his head in his hands, shaking it slowly.

EXECUTIONER

I hate it when this happens.

The officials remove Ragwort from the guillotine.� The executioner walks away disgustedly.� He lets go of the rope and the blade slices down where Ragworts head was a few seconds earlier.� PRINCESS QUITIRI runs onto the scene, out of breath.� She rushes up to Ragwort and gives him a hug.

QUITIRI

I�ve only just realised that being a princess does have it uses.

RAGWORT

Sure does.� Could you have made it any earlier?

QUITIRI

Well that wouldn�t have been as much fun, would it?

Ragwort collapses onto the stretcher, with a look between thankfulness and annoyance.� The DIRECTOR walks up to Brett.

DIRECTOR

Jave and Teejay have just been spotted heading towards the tombs of prosponeous.

BRETT

Only a fool would enter those tombs.

DIRECTOR

Yeah.� I want you and the team to follow.

BRETT

Of course� Hey, what are you implying?

111�� EXT. PROSPONEOUS TOMBS � DAY�� 111

TEEJAY is knee deep in the sea outside of the tombs.� The TOMBS ENTRANCE is the only part of them visible, being situated halfway up a gently sloping cliff face.� Teejay is staring at a GIANT BOTTLE lying on its side, containing a FULL SIZE SAILING SHIP.

TEEJAY

I wonder how they put the ship inside.

JAVE is standing at the foot of the cliff face, holding his gun.

JAVE

I don�t care.� Let�s get this over with.

They begin to ascend the cliff.

JAVE (CONT�D)

You know, if you felt at all qualified as a hostage taker, you might have held the gun yourself.

TEEJAY

You�re a better shot, and besides I still have your hat.

Jave grabs his hat back and places it on his head.� They reach the entrance way to the tombs.� Jave reads an inscription written on them.

JAVE

Any soul entering these tombs should be aware of this.� Many people have entered these tombs, but none have ever been seen again.

TEEJAY

I�m sure that�s just to scare the tourists.

JAVE

You�re sure that the eggs in here?

TEEJAY

Uh-huh.

JAVE

This should be fun.

Jave marches into the tombs.

112�� INT. TOMBS ENTRANCE � DAY�� 112��

JAVE stands against the light from the outside.� TEEJAY walks in.

TEEJAY

No death dealing man traps have crushed, drowned or impaled us yet.� Ancient tombs always have the danger side far overemphasised.

A door SLAMS down, closing of the entrance way and blocking the sunlight.�

JAVE

Let that be a lesson to you.

A light comes from a BURNING TORCH attached to a stonewall.� Teejay picks it up and wanders around the entranceway, examining the walls.� Jave pulls a small ELECTRIC TORCH from his pocket, and it lights up the walls far more brightly.� CREAK.� He notices that the wall is inching forwards, SPIKES protruding from it.� Searching the roof, he notices a wall sliding downwards to cut of their escape along a corridor.� Searching the other wall, he notices that this is also inching in on them with spikes protruding.� But all the walls are moving so slowly it appears they have ages to escape.

TEEJAY

Not much could have been invested in tomb security.

Javes not taking any chances.� He continues�

113�� INT. TOMB CORRIDOR�� 113

�Down the corridor, followed by Teejay.� Walking along, Teejay notices that a small ledge runs along the walls, filled with oil.� Teejay has an idea.

TEEJAY

Teejay said �let there be light��

He lights the oil with his torch.� It bursts into FLAMES all along the wall, lighting the corridor as it ignites.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

�And there was light� Oh dear.

He�s just noticed that a lot of oil has spilled onto the floor, including where they are standing.� The fire trails down the walls and BURSTS down the floor.� Jave and Teejay turn and run back down the corridor to were the wall has nearly reached the floor.� With fire at their heels, they reach the wall.� Jave rolls under it, his hat falling off.� Teejay slips over and slides across the oil on his belly, sliding beneath the wall.

114�� INT. TOMB ENTRANCE�� 114

JAVE reaches under the wall and pulls out his hat.� It is covered in flames.� He leaps up and down on it, stamping out the flames.� He lifts the still smouldering hat and places it on his head.� TEEJAY watches in horror as the wall finally reaches the floor and seals them in the entranceway, with the spikes closing in.� Jave shines the torch up to the ceiling.

JAVE

Looks like we�ve got a crawl space up there.

He walks up to a wall and holds onto a spike.� He then rests his foot on another spike, carefully avoiding the sharp points.� Slowly he begins to climb the wall, soon followed by Teejay, with the walls slowly creeping towards each other.� Teejay catches his trouser leg on a spike.� He looks up to Jave, who continues steadily along.� The spike Teejay is holding comes lose from the wall, and he falls backwards to the floor.�

He looks up to see Jave nearly at the top.� He runs back to the wall and grabs a spike, but this comes off in his hand.� Looking upwards, it seems doubtful that he could make it before being skewered.� He looks at the spike in his hand, and it gives him an idea.� He uses the spike to jab into the base of another spike, which crumbles slightly.� He takes out his knife, which works much better, ripping the spike from the wall.� Attempting to create a human sized gap in the spikes, he jams the knife into another spike, but this time the knife jams in the wall.� Teejay tugs on it.� It�s stuck.� He looks up to see Jave reach the top to safety.

TEEJAY

Pass your gun.�

Jave lifts his gun to drop it down.

JAVE

Hang on.� I�ve just remembered that I�m being held hostage.� And as a result, not completely best buddies with my hostage taker.

TEEJAY

(Worried)

Yeah, that�s really funny Jave.� Now if you could just pass the gun.

JAVE

Please.

TEEJAY

Please.

JAVE

Mmm, I�m not sure.

Teejay looks around worried as the walls leave only a few feet of space left.

TEEJAY

Pretty please with a cherry on the top.

JAVE

And what else?

TEEJAY

Sorry for taking you hostage.

Jave drops the gun, which Teejay catches.� Teejay aims it and BLASTS the other wall, spikes and chipped stone falling from it.� He wedges himself into the gap he�s created and faces the opposite wall, which has a couple of spikes missing from his earlier attempts.� He twists himself into a weird shape as the walls meet.� Spikes stab the wall on either side of his neck, between his legs and all around his body, but only his arm receives a scratch.

Jave peers down from above.� Teejay is completely trapped, peering up from between the spikes.

TEEJAY

(Softly)

Help.

Jave moves off.

115�� INT. TOMB CONTROL CENTRE�� 115

JAVE moves through rusty MACHINERY and COMPUTERS.� He brushes the cobwebs from a computer screen and it bursts into life, showing Teejay trapped between the walls.� He looks around at various buttons and levers.� Shrugging his shoulders he pulls a lever.

116�� INT. TOMB ENTRANCE�� 116

TEEJAY remains trapped in between the spikes, when the trickle of water can be heard.� Looking down he sees water running onto the tomb floor and up to his ankles.

TEEJAY

Jave.� WRONG BUTTON.

117�� INT. TOMB CONTROL ROOM�� 117

JAVE watches the screen.� He sees a series of levers and starts pulling them all.

118�� INT. TOMB ENTRANCE�� 118

TEEJAY is up to his neck in water.� The walls slowly move backwards, releasing him.� He removes himself from in between the spikes.

TEEJAY

Yeah, that�s it.

The walls suddenly start moving back towards him.

TEEJAY

Hang on, that�s not it.

But the walls stop and start to move backwards again.

TEEJAY

Don�t touch another thing.� That�s done.

119�� INT. TOMB CONTROL CENTRE�� 119

But JAVE hasn�t noticed that Teejay�s free, and is pushing every button he can find, lights and screens coming on all over the control room.� He pushes a lever marked with a skull.

120�� INT. TOMB ENTRANCE�� 120

The walls have moved back to their original positions.� A door opens up in one of the walls, and THREE SKELETON WARRIORS emerge from it.� They each carry scimitars, and advance towards TEEJAY.� Teejay aims the gun.� CLICK, It�s out of ammo.� He grabs at his knife, which is still jammed into the base of a spike, but it won�t budge.� The skeleton warriors are nearly upon him.� He presses the button, and the sword shoots out, releasing it from the wall.� Teejay swings the sword round to SLASH of the head of a skeleton.� They pause, unsure about battling their enemy.� The beheaded skeleton reaches down to pick up its head.� It places it back on its head, good as new.

Teejay rushes towards the skeletons CLASHING swords with them.� One of the skeletons knocks his sword from his hand.� He cartwheels and picks up his sword as his hands hit the floor, kicking a skeleton in the jaw at the same time.� He�s back up and ready to fight.� Plunging his sword into a skeletons chest and moving it to block him from another skeletons attack.� He turns to fight another skeleton, SLICING of its sword arm.� The skeleton grabs the sword with it�s remaining arm, but Teejay CUTS this one off too.� The skeleton looks surprised.� Teejay SLASHES it�s waist, and it falls to the ground, with just it legs and hips remaining walking.

He immediately turns to fight another skeleton, dodging a blow aimed at his neck, while the second helps the fallen skeleton to put itself back together.�

JAVE drops to the floor, picking up his gun and wedging ammo into it.� Teejay is driven back by the skeleton, which is joined by its two allies.� Jave raises his gun.

JAVE

Teejay, duck.

Teejay drops to the floor.� Jave SHOOTS down the three skeletons, their bones clattering to the floor.� Teejay looks up.

JAVE

Now that�s why I carry the gun.

Teejay nods as he gets up.� A skeleton hand reaches for it�s sword, and Jave FIRES on it.� The hand is finally still.

121�� INT. EGG CHAMBER�� 121

JAVE and TEEJAY walk cautiously through the tombs, and pause to see RAGWORTS RACING DRAGON EGG. It stands upright on a stand, seven foot tall and sparkling aqua, just as Ragwort described it.� Teejay gives a grin of� �I was right�.

TEEJAY

Was I right or was I right?

�Jave shrugs, trying not to show that he�s impressed.

JAVE

Wouldn�t have got anywhere without me.

Behind them, BRETT and his TEAM quietly sneak in unnoticed.� Brett raises his gun.

122�� INT. STUDIO � DAY�� 122

The DIRECTOR watches.

DIRECTOR

No, no, no. Don�t just shoot them.� Finish them off in style.

123�� INT. EGG CHAMBER�� 123

BRETT notices a fuse lying on the floor.� His eyes follow it from his feet to a bunch of dynamite lying near JAVE and TEEJAY.� Suddenly realising the perfect way to get rid of them, he takes the cigar from his mouth and lights the fuse.

DIRECTOR (O.S.)

And now we need a one liner to accompany that.

BRETT

Smoking kills.

DIRECTOR (O.S.)

Perfect.

Hearing the SIZZLE of the fuse, Teejay glances behind him to see the flame burning down it.� He pulls out his knife and crouches to the floor.� He grabs the fuse and cuts it apart before the flame can cross.

Seeing his first plan failed, Brett pulls out a stick of DYNAMITE.� He lights it with his cigar and throws it towards Teejay.� Teejay presses the button, and the sword shoots from his knife.� Using the flat side, Teejay bats the dynamite back.� It lands in the midst of Brett�s team.� They scatter as the dynamite EXPLODES.� Teejay and Jave run towards the egg as the team FIRE at them. A bullet buries itself in Teejay�s rucksack.� Another hits the egg stand, the stand collapsing.� Jave dives beneath the egg as it falls onto its side.� The egg begins to roll, with Jave ducked down as he runs in front of it.� Teejay runs up to the egg and grabs hold, being flipped over it, out of reach of the bullets.� The egg stops rolling, with Jave and Teejay crouched behind it.

BRETT

I have good news for you.� The princess has signed a pardon for all those who where involved in her kidnapping.

JAVE

And the bad news is?

BRETT

In breaking into the tombs, you have committed an offence punishable by life death.

Jave glares at Teejay.

TEEJAY

I might have been stupid enough to enter the tombs, but you must admit you were stupid enough to follow me.

Jave points his gun at Teejays head.

JAVE

Don�t shoot.� I have a hostage.

Brett�s LOVE INTEREST puts down her gun, followed by other team members.

LOVE INTEREST

(Whispering)

How do we deal with hostage situations?

BRETT

(Whispering)

We haven�t had any training in that.

124�� INT. STUDIO-DAY�� 124

The DIRECTOR shakes his head sadly.

DIRECTOR

Reality check.� His hostage is on his side.

125�� INT. EGG CHAMBER�� 125

BRETT clasps his hand to his forehead.� He spots TEEJAY and JAVE, who have been sneaking off while the team was thinking.� He FIRES at them, and they duck back behind the egg.� Jave peers over the top of the egg and FIRES back.

JAVE

Are we live?

BRETT

(Nodding to the cameraman)

In front of millions.

JAVE

In which case, Brett fans, I have a little tale to tell�

Brett looks on confused.

126�� INT. STUDIO � DAY�� 126

The DIRECTOR looks on confused as he listens to Jave.

JAVE

(On screen)

�A tale of dishonesty, of robbery and of a conspiracy to keep the truth from your ears�

127�� INT. BEDROOM � DAY�� 127

The two TEENAGE GIRLS listen horrified as their heroes� squeaky-clean image is ruined.

JAVE

(On screen)

�You see the egg I shelter behind.� It was stolen, yes stolen, by our very own Brett Guy�

128�� INT. LIVING ROOM�� 128

The SMALL BOY with the plastic sword watches.

JAVE

(On screen)

�Stolen right from the middle of the hall of the so-called �evil� baron Ragwort, who only kidnapped your princess, in order to have his egg rightly returned�

The boy looks as if he is about to burst into tears.

129�� INT. PUB � DAY�� 129

DISO and LEETSI and other PUBGOERS watch the TV.

JAVE

(On screen)

�And in payment, what do you give him, the death sentence, and life imprisonment to all who aided him.

CHEERS go up from the pub.

LEETSI

We should be recording this.

130�� INT. STUDIO � DAY�� 130

The DIRECTOR leans towards a mike.

DIRECTOR

Brett, tell them the truth.

131�� INT. EGG CHAMBER�� 131

BRETT addresses JAVE and TEEJAY.

BRETT

Yes, you are right, we did steal the egg.� And I can explain why.

Jave looks suspicious but listens anyway.

BRETT (CONT�D)

Ragworts egg does not contain a racing dragon.� It contains a witch, a witch so powerful she could not be killed, a witch by the name of xeesle.� She was sealed in an egg, which was to be sealed forever in these tombs.� All was well until raiders stole the egg and sold it to an unsuspecting baron Ragwort.� You see, we had no choice but to steal it.

JAVE

Xeesle is a child�s story.

BRETT

Check the documents.

Teejay pulls the documents from his bag, which now have a huge bullet hole through them.� He looks in the contents and flicks to a page.� He reads it to Jave.

TEEJAY

(To Jave)

It is therefore of the utmost importance that the egg must not be broken or cracked, or an evil the likes of which the world has not seen for thousands of years will be unleashed.

Teejay closes the book with a shocked expression.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

I said I was right, I didn�t say I was a genius.

JAVE

(To Teejay)

I�m never gonna live this down.

He stands up with his hands in the air.

JAVE (CONT�D)

OK, I can explain everything� It was all Teejay�s fault.� He kidnapped me.

BRETT looks at his TEAM MATES.� They all burst out laughing.

BRETT

You, you were kidnapped by him.� You do know you�re saying this on live TV.

Brett points his gun at Jave, who ducks back behind the egg.

TEEJAY

What�s so hilarious about being kidnapped by me?� And thanks for your backstabbing; I thought we were a team.

JAVE

No point in both of us being executed.

TEEJAY

No point in any of us being executed.

Jave stares grimly at the egg, and an idea suddenly hits him.� He points his gun at the egg and stands up.

JAVE

Get out, or I release all hell.

The team stands back wearily.� Brett listens to his earpiece and walks forward steadily, his gun held away from Jave.

JAVE (CONT�D)

I said get out.

Brett continues to walk forwards.� Jave points his gun at him.

JAVE (CONT�D)

Get out or I�ll shoot.

Brett continues walking.� Jave SHOOTS him.� Brett jolts and staggers backwards, then falls to the floor.� His team run to him, concern on their faces.� Even Jave looks shocked.� Brett is bleeding from his chest.� The LOVE INTEREST character holds his hand.

LOVE INTEREST

I thought you were wearing your jacket.

BRETT

Just wasn�t strong enough.

132�� INT. BEDROOM � DAY�� 132

The TEENAGE GIRLS look on in tears as Brett goes into an over elaborate and corny death speech.

BRETT

(On screen)

Too late for me.� Carry on with our work.

LOVE INTEREST

(On screen)

Don�t go.

133�� INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY�� 133��

The SMALL BOY watches open mouthed at Brett in his death froes.

BRETT

(On screen)

Looks like my time has come.� Remember me.

134�� INT. PUB � DAY�� 134��

Even DISO and LEETSI seem to be affected.

BRETT

(On screen)

I�ll always be with you.

LEETSI

(Wiping away a tear)

I always thought I�d be happy to see this.

135�� INT. STUDIO � DAY�� 135

The DIRECTOR looks on, a tear in his eye.

DIRECTOR

He�s saying all this without a script.� Fantastic.

136�� INT. EGG CHAMBER�� 136

BRETT looks up at his TEAM weakly.

BRETT

Bye.

Brett closes his eyes and his head sinks to the floor.� The LOVE INTEREST character hugs him, the other team members looking on sadly.� Even TEEJAY has got caught up in the act and has forgotten caution as he emerges from behind the egg and walks in front of it.� The TOKEN BLACK GUY notices that Teejay has emerged and raises his gun.� JAVE notices him and grabs Teejay, pulling him out of the way as the guy SHOOTS hitting the egg in the place where Teejay was standing.� The egg cracks, steam shooting from it.� Hearing the noise, Brett jumps to his feet.� He isn�t injured at all, he�s been acting all the time.

BRETT

(To guy)

You missed!� This is your fault.

TOKEN BLACK GUY

Hey.� It�s Teejay�s fault, he was standing in front of the egg.

TEEJAY

Hey, it was Jave�s fault.� He pulled me out the way of the bullet.

JAVE

Fine, next time I won�t bother.

The egg cracks wider, until it splits open.� Masses of SPARKLING JEWLS flood out, tumbling onto Jave and Teejay.� They look around them at the wealth.� They suddenly start stuffing as many jewels as possible into the Teejay�s rucksack.� Teejay pauses.

TEEJAY

Wait a sec.� Maybe there�s a lesson meant to be learnt here.� Like, the greed causing us to steal this treasure is actually the evil that has been released.

Jave gives Teejay a �Don�t be stupid� look.

JAVE

Be quiet and carry on packing.

From beneath a pile of jewels a hand emerges.� Then an entire body emerges.� It is XEESLE, the witch.� She doesn�t look like your average witch though.� Dressed entirely in white, she�s the most beautiful witch you�ve ever seen.� Teejay and Jave look on with open mouths.

JAVE

I wasn�t quite expecting the source of all evil to look so fine.

Xeesle stretches and looks around, taking in her surroundings after thousands of years trapped in the egg.

XEESLE

Who released me?

Teejay and Jave both raise their hands.

BOTH

Me.

JAVE

(To Teejay)

Doesn�t look particularly evil.� What do the documents say?

Teejay flicks some pages and starts reading.

TEEJAY

Although initially Xeesle will not be capable of much power on first being released from her egg, her strength will greatly increase once she comes into contact with�

But the bullet hole obscures the word.� Xeesle listens to the drip of water that is seeping through the tomb ceiling.� She places out her hand and catches the drop.� It runs down her hand, turning her skin into scales were it touches.� Teejay and Jave look at each other.

BOTH

Water.

Xeesle turns and runs down a passage.� Brett reaches under his vest and takes away a packet of fake blood, throwing it to the ground.� He takes of after Xeesle, his team following behind him.� Jave leaps up, grabs onto a vine dangling from the ceiling and swings over the remains of the egg.� He lands, points his gun�

And slips over.� Teejay dashes past him, wielding his sword.� He reaches the entrance to the passage and runs down it, closely followed by Brett and his team.

137�� INT. PASSAGE�� 137

TEEJAY runs after XEESLE.� He swings his sword, smashing it into her, but it doesn�t even leave a scar.� He swings it again, but the sword bounces of harmlessly.� He retracts the sword into the knife, and continues running.� They run past a fork in the corridor, with Brett and his team following.� A few seconds after they�ve disappeared, Jave reaches the fork and pauses.� He dashes down the wrong passage.

138�� INT. WELL�� 138

XEESLE reaches a strange well.� It is about 50 feet wide and circular.� Running water flows along the bottom of it, 20 feet below, evidently part of an underwater river.� A column of stone in the centre of the room rises from the water.� Connected to this column are the two giant hands of a clock.� Twelve entrances lead into the room, one for each hour.�

Xeesle emerges from the 12 entrance and dives down�

But TEEJAY has dived to grab her feet, and she dangles from the entrance, the water rushing below.� Teejay gradually slides out of the entrance, but BRETT catches his feet, with several other TEAM MEMBERS holding onto him.� Xeesle tries to kick out at Teejay, so that she can fall to the water below.

JAVE emerges from the 5 entrance.� He leaps from the entrance onto the hour hand (It is currently 5 o�clock) and runs along it to the column in the centre.� He then runs along the minute hand, which is almost at 12.� He crouches down and reaches for Xeesle, who�s just out of reach.

TEEJAY

I can�t hold on for much longer.

JAVE

I�ll be with you in one minute.

Xeesle kicks against the wall of the well and drags Teejay from the entranceway, so that they both now dangle above the water.� Jave FIRES on Xeesle, but the bullets bounce of her harmlessly.� The minute hand moves, bringing Jave into reach of Xeesle.� He grabs her foot, just a second before she kicks Teejay, wrenching herself from Teejay�s grasp.

Brett looks down at Teejay.� There is now no reason why he shouldn�t drop him.

BRETT

Teejay, my fingers are slipping.

TEEJAY

You�ll regret this.

Teejay�s foot slips from Brett�s fingers.� He falls towards the water�

When Xeesle grabs his foot, meaning Jave now has to hold both their weights.

JAVE

You�re going to have to drop.� I can�t hold you�re weight.

TEEJAY

(To Brett)

I told you you�d regret this.

Brett points his gun at Teejay.

BRETT

You�re going to have to drop.

TEEJAY

Hey, don�t get too hasty.� Lets do this my way.

Teejay twists himself upwards and grabs his foot.� He pulls out his knife and slashes Xeesle�s hands, trying to get her to let go, but the knife makes no effect.

Jave can�t take the weight any longer, and Xeesle�s foot slips from his grasp.� Xeesle and Teejay fall into the raging water below.

139�� INT. RIVER�� 139

TEEJAY is swept through an underground river, spinning through the white water.� He surfaces to breath at an air hole, before being swept on.� He spots XEESLE also tumbling through the white water, but through the bubbles, it appears a change is happening.� She is quickly transforming into a grotesque MONSTER, about six foot long and lizard like.

140�� EXT. OCEAN � DAY�� 140

TEEJAY emerges the river into the ocean; he swims upwards to the surface.� He takes a deep breath as he reaches it.� He looks around for Xeesle, but she�s nowhere to be seen.� Looking down, he sees a giant shape rising up to meet him.� It�s the monster that was Xeesle, rising up to meet him.� Only now it appears to be hundreds of feet long.� It�s back rises out of the water directly below Teejay, leaving him perched upon it�s back as it lifts rapidly into the air.

141�� INT. EGG CHAMBER - DAY�� 141

JAVE is back amongst the treasure, piling it into Teejays rucksack.� BRETT is pacing the chamber in front of his TEAM.

BRETT

The director tells me there�s an airship coming to pick us up.

Jave swings the heavy rucksack over his shoulder.

JAVE

Great.� When does it get here?

BRETT

Excuse me, I was sent to execute you, not give you a lift home�

The roof of the tomb SMASHES open, as a giant hand, 50 foot long, claws away the roof, letting day light stream in.� The team scatters as debris falls around them.� A giant snout pushes into the remains of the egg chamber, sniffing at the remains of the egg.� Several team members FIRE on the snout, and it jerks up out of the chamber.� The monster peers into the chamber.� A strangely small red eye sits in the middle of a giant eye socket.� It then moves off, huge SPLASH'S being heard as it walks away.� The startled people slowly pick themselves up to their feet.

BRETT

(To cameraman)

Can you turn that off.

CAMERAMAN

Done.

Brett sinks to his knees and holds his head in his hands.

BRETT

We�re all going to die.

The cameraman looks up through the hole in the roof.� Through it he sees an AIRSHIP, the RUST BUCKET.

�

CAMERAMAN

They sent the rust bucket.

A rope ladder is thrown from the airship; it unfolds as it tumbles downwards.� The team move back as it lands in the egg chamber.� They then cluster around it, as one by one they begin to climb.� Jave stands in line to climb.

BRETT

And what gives you the right to use our ladder.

JAVE

In case you didn�t notice that we might run into a little trouble outside, let me mention that I�m the only one here with some idea of how to aim a gun, seeing as you and your team couldn�t hit the broadside of a barn, from inside the barn.

BRETT

Hey team, what have you got to say to that?

TOKEN BLACK GUY

He�s right.

LOVE INTEREST

Let him on.

Jave gives Brett a grin before climbing onto the ladder.� Brett climbs on after him.

142 ��EXT. EGG CHAMBER - DAY�� 142

With JAVE and the entire TEAM clinging to the ladder, the RUST BUCKET moves upwards, pulling the ladder from the tombs.� Looking out at the ocean, Jave sees the MONSTER clearly.� It is 600 foot long, and roughly a bipedal dinosaur in shape.� It appears to be not much more than a walking corpse, with skin hanging roughly over a skeleton that is clearly seen below.� It moves quickly towards them, creating giant splashes as it does so.� It strides past them with huge steps.

As it passes, he notices a tiny figure clinging to its back.� He can even hear TEEJAYS faint screams.

JAVE

Teejay.

BRETT fires at the monster, but controlling the gun with one hand, it jolts upwards in the air as he shoots.� He ends up shooting the rucksack that Jave has taken with him.� Jewels spill out of a hole created.� Jave looks down in horror as his fortune slips away, the riches hitting Brett as they fall to the earth.� Several large heavy ornaments and crowns fall onto Brett�s head.� Soon the rucksack is empty.� Jave angrily grabs Brett�s gun.

JAVE

If you want a job doing properly, do it yourself.

Jave FIRES after the rapidly disappearing monster, which is heading towards his home city of ESCURO.

143�� INT. PUB � DAY�� 143

LEETSI and DISO look around worriedly as the room SHAKES with each footstep.� Glasses fall from the tables.� All the PUBGOERS turn towards the direction of the sound.� Leetsi runs to the window and peers through to see the MONSTER stalking amongst the spires of Escuro.� It pokes its nose into a building, the walls crumbling away.� Leetsi stares at it open mouthed.

DISO

Remember how to fly?

Leetsi nods.

144�� INT. GARAGE � DAY�� 144

DISO opens a door and walks into a room containing a dozen flying vehicles.� They are sphere shaped, and just large enough to contain one person.� LEETSI and several other PUBGOERS follow him in.� They climb into their flying machines, Leetsi climbing into one with an L-plate on the back.� Someone opens up the garage door, to reveal the spires of Escuro before them.� The MONSTER is sniffing at something on the road, but rears up to see the garage door open.� Leetsi gulps.� The flying machines lift of the floor and speed out of garage towards the monster.� Leetsi�s flying machine swerves as she struggles to control it.

145�� EXT. RUST BUCKET�� 145

The ladder has been pulled up to the airship.� The AMBASADOR TEAM of the hive helps the TEAM MEMBERS onto the deck.� JAVE appears over the railing, to be helped by MARISHA.

MARISHA

Hey, you�re that guy who was with Teejay.

JAVE

Don�t mention it.� The less that know, the easier it is for me to disappear.

MARISHA

Where is Teejay?

Jave points to the MONSTER, which is still amongst the spires of Escuro.� Marisha gasps at it.� She picks up some binoculars and peers through them.

THROUGH THE BINOCULARS she sees TEEJAY, who�s still clinging to the back of the monster.

MARISHA

You have to save him.

JAVE

And how would you like me to do that.� Perhaps I should ask the monster politely.

Marisha grabs a pack, on the back of which is a small helicopter rotor, four feet wide.� At the front is a simple control system.�

MARISHA

Ever used one of these before?

JAVE

What if I have?

Marisha places the pack on Jave�s back and starts to strap it on.

JAVE (CONT�D)

And why am I saving him?

MARISHA

I thought that you two were a team.

JAVE

Don�t believe everything you see on TV.

Marisha pulls a cord, and the rotors on the pack whir into life.

MARISHA

Well, I guess if you�re too scared, I understand.

JAVE

That�s a juvenile mind trick.

MARISHA

True, but has it worked?

Jave hands Marisha his hat.

JAVE

Guard this with your life.

Jave pulls on the controls and lifts up into the air, he pulls another handle, and shoots backwards, nearly hitting the sail.� He pushes the handle another way, and flies of in the direction of the monster.

146�� EXT. SHORE � DAY�� 146

JAVE flies towards the coast of Escuro, where the MONSTER is being circled by the FLYING VEHICLES, which are firing at it.� It lunges at them, the pilots swerving out of the way.� Jave watches worriedly, and then manoeuvres down towards TEEJAY, who is still clinging to the spiny back of the monster.� He positions himself above it�s back, twisting and turning as the monster turns to face the flying machines.� He hovers directly above Teejay.� Teejay warily lets go of the monster and reaches up to Jave�s feet�

When the monster takes a step forwards, moving Teejay far from Jave�s reach.� Jave gains height, the monsters tail SWOOSHING below him as it takes two more steps.� Following another flying machine, the monster turns, to see Jave hovering in front of it.� It pauses, studying the comparatively tiny figure of Jave suspended in the air.� Jave gulps, raises his gun, and FIRES.� The monster flinches slightly, faces Jave, opens it�s mouth, and ROARS.

The sound is so loud; Jave places both hands on his ears, letting go of the controls, and tumbles downwards.� Teejay lets go of the monster�s spines to put his fingers in his ears.� The monster watches the tumbling figure of Jave, and ducks it�s head downwards towards him.� It moves so fast Teejay is thrown from it�s back, and is left dangling in the air, the monsters back now far below him.� And then he falls, the wind WHISTLING as he gains speed.

Seeing the horizon spinning, Jave puts his hands on the controls, gains control of the pack and shoots upwards, the jaws of the monster SNAPPING shut below him.� The monster lunges straight at him, sure to catch him this time�

BANG.� Several rounds of bullets imbed themselves in the monsters face, and it turns to attack the flyers that fired at it.� Jave continues upwards.� WHOOSH.� Teejay flies past him, falling down towards the Earth.� Jave spots him, and puts himself into a downward dive.� He catches up with Teejay, and grabs hold of him with one hand.� With Teejay clinging to him, he starts to pull out of the dive, the sea rapidly approaching them.� He has nearly pulled out of the dive�

SPLASH.� They hit the water.

Jave and Teejay can be seen beneath the ocean waves.� They surface spluttering.

JAVE

Are you all right?

TEEJAY

I think I got salt water in my eyes.

Jave lets out a long sigh of relief.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

Admit it.� You were worried about me.

JAVE

Don�t flatter yourself.

ABOVE THEM the battle between the monster and the flying machines rages on.� DISO circles it, FIRING.� He tries to communicate with the other flyers via his cockpit radio.

DISO

Red foxes three and four, go for the eyes.

LEETSI listens, looking confused.

LEETSI

OK, right, is that me?

DISO

Uh, could be, are you red fox three or four?

LEETSI

I don�t know, who are you?

DISO

Red fox one, or is that squadron leader.� I�m not sure.

LEETSI

How about we call each other by our real names.

DISO

Good idea.� Leetsi, shoot for the eyes.

Leetsi aims for the monsters eyes, bullets flying into its head, but it appears to have little effect other than to enrage the monster further.� It SWIPES out with its giant claw, narrowly missing her.� Leetsi turns to retreat, the monster lunges at her, its jaws almost enclosing her flying machine.� She swerves sideways out of its jaws just before they SNAP closed.

147�� EXT.� RUST BUCKET � DAY�� 147

BRETT stands on the deck of the Rust bucket, watching the MONSTER in the distance.� He turns to one of the hive members, the one known to Teejay as BOSS.�

BRETT

Did they send you any weaponry?

The BOSS points at a MISSILE stood on a LAUNCHER behind him.� Several other missiles stand behind it.� Brett almost keels over backwards in surprise.

BRETT (CONT�D)

Tha�tha�that�s nuclear right?

The BOSS nods.

BRETT

Aim missile.

TEAM MEMBERS run to the missile to point it towards the monster.� One looks through a site, getting the aim.

THROUGH SIGHT we see the monster.

TEAM MEMBER

Missile is locked on target.

BRETT

Fire.

A button is pressed, and smoke SHOOTS from the back of the missile, the people on deck moving back to a respectful distance.� The missile lifts from the launcher, WHOOSHING over Brett�s head, and heading out towards the monster, leaving a tail of smoke behind it.

148�� EXT. SHORE �DAY�� 148

LEETSI ducks another bite of the MONSTER.� She takes her flyer into a tight circle and dives beneath the monster, flying between its legs.� As she pulls up she sees the missile heading towards her.� It WHOOSHES past her, towards the monster that has just turned to follow her.� It regards the missile curiously as moves towards it.

BANG.� A blinding light comes from behind her, completely engulfing the monster.� The shockwaves of the bomb move rapidly outwards.� Huge waves are formed from the shockwaves as they hit the water.� The flyers move away as quickly as possible.� Leetsi pushes the control stick, moving at top speed away from the blast.� The first shockwave reaches her, shaking the flyer.� Leetsi struggles to keep control, but she manages to fly away, her machine now trailing black smoke from it�s damages.� Behind her the MUSHROOM CLOUD reaches up into the sky.

149�� EXT. RUST BUCKET�� 149

BRETT and fellow TEAM MEMBERS watch the mushroom cloud from the deck.� JAVE, carrying TEEJAY, flies up using the pack, and lands on the deck.� The first shockwave hits them, people ducking to the deck and covering their ears.� MARISHA picks herself up, and notices Teejay.� She places Jave�s hat on the missile launcher and runs over to them.� Jave and Teejay get back to their feet, and watch the mushroom cloud.� Marisha taps Teejay on his shoulder.� He turns around.

TEEJAY

Marisha!

MARISHA

I thought you were dead.

TEEJAY

So did I, many times.

A tiny figure is flying towards them.� It�s LEETSI, her flyer damaged.� Marisha, Jave and Teejay duck out of the way as she CRASHES onto deck.� Jave suddenly recognizes her.

JAVE

Leetsi.

Leetsi climbs from the wreckage of her flyer.

LEETSI

Jave�

A second shockwave hits the Rust Bucket, knocking people over.� The sail catches the full force of the shockwave, and it pulls the ship sideways.� People roll down the deck, reaching out to cling to anything attached to the deck.� Teejay slides down on his front, heading towards the edge.� Luckily he hits one of the bars holding up the rail.� Leetsi�s flyer bounces down the deck, hits the deck right next to Teejay and bounces right off the ship.� Marisha slides down the deck, sliding beneath the rail�

Teejay grabs hold of her hand, and she dangles from the airship, loose objects raining down onto the ocean, 400 feet below.

TEEJAY

Now grab my other hand.

Leetsi comes sliding down the deck past Teejay.� She too slides under the railing over the side of the ship�

When Teejay grabs her hand too.� Now he has to hold onto two people.� Leetsi nods to Marisha.

LEETSI

Hello.

MARISHA

Nice to meet you.

Teejays hands are slipping.� The ship rolls back, people now able to get back on their feet.� Jave sees Teejay.

TEEJAY

Help needed.

Jave pulls the cord to start the rotors on his pack.� They whir slowly, and then stop.� He looks at a dial on the pack.� Low fuel.� He pulls the cord again.� This time it whirs into life.� He lifts of the ground and flies over the edge of the ship.� He grabs Leetsi�s hand.� Teejay�s hand slips, and Jave pulls Leetsi to safety, landing on the deck.� He immediately leaps over the side of the ship again, but the rotors are beginning to fail.� He grabs Marisha�s hand and they start to climb.� They drop slightly, the engine struggling.� Jave presses a switch on the pack so that it reads from VERY FAST to SUICIDE FAST.� The engine shudders furiously, giving it just that extra bit of power to propel Jave and Marisha over the railing and onto the safety of the deck.� The rotors completely cut out.

Jave and Teejay exchange relieved looks with each other.� DISO lands his flyer on the deck, and climbs out.� He runs out and runs to give Leetsi a hug.� Jave looks on dismayed.� A second later Teejay�s BOSS runs up to Marisha to give her a hug.� Teejay looks on equally dismayed.� Diso looks at Jave gratefully.

DISO

Thanks mate, I owe you one.

Jave looks thoroughly gutted.� Teejay�s boss looks towards Teejay.

BOSS

Nice work Teejay, you�ll never have to go on rhino baiting duty again.

Teejay doesn�t look any happier.� The two happy couples walk away, leaving Teejay and Jave standing alone.� They see BRETT, who�s smiling at the cameras and reporters that now surround him.

REPORTER

Tell us how you destroyed that monster.

BRETT

I knew there was only one hope of slaying the beast and saving the world, so I had to think quickly.� I ordered my team to set up the missile straightaway�

Jave and Teejay continue to look dejected.� They sit down on the deck, looking out to the mushroom cloud.

TEEJAY

I don�t get it.� How can the monster really be destroyed?

JAVE

How do you mean?

TEEJAY

Firstly, wasn�t Xeesle meant to be indestructible?� I mean indestructible witches can�t be destroyed.� Stands to reason right?�

He suddenly notices something.

TEEJAY (CONT�D)

And secondly, and I think this is the most convincing argument.� It�s heading straight for us.

Teejay and Jave slowly rise to their feet.� We follow their line of sight to see the mushroom cloud.� And from the cloud the MONSTER is emerging.� It is covered completely in flames.� It strides through the sea in huge steps, until finding a patch of sea deep enough, it dives into it.� The sea is not deep enough to cover it completely, but the monster rolls in it to extinguish the flames.� Huge waves are sent across the ocean from its writhing.�

Jave walks over to Brett, who stands along with his team and the reporters, staring at the monster.

JAVE

Brett.� Listen.� Is Xeesle actually indestructible, or just virtually indestructible?� There is a difference.

BRETT

Why does it matter?� We hit it with a nuke.� There�s nothing more powerful.

Jave walks over to a ladder made of metal chains and loops it around one of the missiles.� He unclips it from the missile launcher.

JAVE

Give me a hand.

Teejay helps Jave lift the missile onto the floor.

BRETT

Hey, hey, you can�t do that� What are you doing?

JAVE

A direct hit on the monsters outside won�t destroy it.� But a direct hit from the inside, maybe.

TEEJAY

And the monsters going to find a nuclear missile so appetizing it�s going to swallow it.� Yeah, that�ll work.

JAVE

I hear you know how to bait rhinos.

Teejay stares at Jave.

TEEJAY

No, no, most definitely no.

The monster emerges from the sea, a little blacker from being charged by the bomb, but otherwise intact.� It stretches up towards the Rust Bucket, which is just within reach.� It reaches out with its hand, placing its THREE GIANT CLAWS on the deck.� Brett trembles, a cigar falling from his mouth, a claw landing on either side of him.� The claws withdraw, SCREECHING through the planks of the Rust Bucket, leaving holes in the deck.� The rest of the crew stare at it open mouthed.

JAVE

Looks like we�ll need a second missile.� Hang on; lets just take all of the missiles.

He runs with the ladder to the second missile in the row, and begins to loop it around that one.

BRETT

Take this thing higher.

People set to work in the cockpit, pulling ropes and levers.� The airship rises slowly.

Marisha finds a box of weapons and empties it onto the deck.� From it she pulls a stick of dynamite, a bow and an arrow.� She pulls string from her pocket and starts to bind the dynamite to the arrow.

The hand appears again, and this time two of the claws point inwards towards Brett.� The claws grasp his rucksack.� The hand moves upwards, plucking Brett into the air, his legs kicking furiously.� He SCREAMS as he struggles uselessly.

Marisha lifts his cigar from the deck, and uses it to light the dynamite.� The monsters 80 feet long HEAD suddenly appears next to the deck.� Marisha loads the arrow and points it at the monsters head, which is staring directly at her.� She SHOOTS at the monster, the arrow flying straight into its nostril.� The monster stares curiously.� BANG.� The dynamite explodes, sending the monster ROARING in pain.� It drops Brett, who falls SCREAMING 20 feet to the deck.� He lands with a CRACK, and grasps in pain at his leg.� The monster backs away from the airship, clawing at its nose.

Jave and Teejay have now looped the ladder around four nuclear missiles.� They are being lowered over the deck, with Teejay standing on top of them while clinging to the ladder.� Jave has his hand on the lever that controls the drop of the ladder, letting the ladder out so that the missiles are lowered downwards.

Teejay stares downwards from on top of the missiles.� Below him the monster is staring up at him.� Teejay raises his hand.

TEEJAY

That�s enough.

Jave stops lowering the ladder, the missiles dangling about 70 feet below the airship.� Teejay looks down cautiously at the monster, which lifts its head slowly.� Teejay stares, too scared to move.�

The monster SNIFFS at the missiles, its breath so powerful it threatens to blow Teejay from the ladder.� Moving slowly, Teejay crouches down to the bombs, and flicks a switch on one of them.� A display on the bomb reads 10.00.

Then 9.59.� Teejay slowly begins to climb back up the ladder.� The monster continues to regard the bombs curiously, and then moves back, apparently losing interest.

Teejay climbs further up the ladder.� He looks back down.� He loops his arm around the ladder, cups his hands to his mouth, and tries to shout, but he�s so scared that no sound comes out.

TEEJAY

�Lu�Lun�LUNCH TIME.

He suddenly has the monsters attention.� It lunges straight towards him, jaws wide open.� Teejay climbs upwards as fast as possible.� SNAP.� The monster has gulped down the missiles; its jaws closed just ten feet below Teejay.� It tugs at the ladder, pulling it further down from the airship, with Teejay clinging on for dear life.� The ladder is bitten through, and the monster moves away, tilts its head back and swallows the bombs.� The ladder recoils upwards, Teejay losing his grip with his hands.� He clings on with his feet as he falls upside down.� He grasps onto the bottom rung of the ladder with his hands, his feet losing grip.� He swings back the right way.

Jave looks over the railing of the Rust Bucket to see Teejay dangling from the bottom rung 70 feet below him.

TEEJAY

My fingers are slipping.

JAVE

With you in a sec.

Jave steps onto the ladder, but before he can begin descending, it CREAKS.� The ladder has been damaged by the monster, and can�t take any more weight.

Jave climbs back on deck.� He glances at a rope that runs all the way around the railing of the Rust Bucket.� He runs along the deck, unclipping the rope from the railing as he goes.

Teejay clings to the last rung, when one of his hands slips, he sways from the ladder, looking down at the ocean.� The ladder CREAKS, held to the deck by only a couple of loose screws.� His other hand has nearly slipped from the ladder, when a sudden gust of wind lifts him up, allowing him to gain hold of the rung with both hands.

The sudden gust of wind reveals itself.� The monster is standing directly below him, breathing audibly.� It moves upwards to the Rust Bucket.

Jave unclips the rope from another portion of the railing.

JAVE

TEEJAY, I�M THROWING YOU A ROPE.

Hearing a GROWL, Jave looks behind him.� The monster is peering at him.

JAVE (CONT�D)

And I�m coming with it.

Jave leaps from the deck, just as the monster thrusts its claw into the Rust Buckets sail, SLASHING it to pieces.

Jave sails through the air, swinging Tarzan style from the rope.� The wind WHOOSHES through his hair.� He squints as he watches Teejay dangling from the ladder.

Teejay watches Jave swinging towards him.� He holds out his hand to grab Jave�s hand.� WHOOSH.� Jave swings past just out of Teejays reach.� One of the screws holding the ladder comes loose.� The ladder twists, now only held by one screw.�

Jave swings back, grabbing Teejays hand and pulling him onto the rope.� The last screw holding in the ladder finally comes loose, sending the ladder falling towards the Ocean.

Teejay looks relieved.

Suddenly, the monster charges up from below them, opens its mouth wide and swallows them both.

150�� INT. XEESLE�S MOUTH - DAY�� 150

COMPLETE DARKNESS.

LIGHT floods in as the monster opens its mouth, rays of light shining in through the gaps in the teeth.� JAVE and TEEJAY still cling to the rope, but now they are sprawled out on the monsters giant tongue.� Wind WHOOSHES into the monsters mouth, ruffling their hair.

Through the open mouth, the horizon can be seen.� It disappears to be replaced by sky as the monster looks upwards.� Jave and Teejay slide further down the tongue as the rope slides through the monsters teeth.� The monster closes its mouth, just as Teejay and Jave are about to fall down its throat.

COMPLETE DARKNESS again.

LIGHT floods the mouth as Jave switches on his torch. For the moment the rope is staying put, caught between the monsters teeth.

JAVE

In a couple of minutes those bombs are going to go off.� Start climbing.

The monster seems to be looking downwards, for Teejay and Jave fall forwards, sliding down its tongue.� The monster opens its mouth again, as Jave and Teejay come to rest against the back of the monsters teeth.� The teeth are jagged and brown, the smallest of them easily taller than Jave and Teejay.� Jave picks up the rope, tugs on it to drag some from the back of the monsters mouth, and loops it over one of the teeth.� He peers down from the monsters mouth to see the sea far below, which is replaced by beach as the monster moves towards the land.� An 80-foot long portion of the rope dangles downwards from the monsters jaws.� It appears to be their only way of escape.� Jave is just about to climb between the monsters teeth to grab the rope when a flyer is swept into the monsters jaws, smashing against the side of its mouth before being swallowed.

Jave loses balance and falls backwards onto the tip of the monsters tongue.� The tongue flicks upwards sending him flying onto its slimy surface.� The monster tilts its head slightly, sending Jave sliding down the tongue towards its throat.� He reaches out, trying to grasp the rope, but it�s just out of his reach.�

Teejay loops his arm around the rope, and sets off after him.� His feet slip on the slimy tongue, as he try�s to reach Jave.� Just as Jave reaches the back of the tongue, Teejay reaches out and grabs his hand.

The monster BELCHS, Jave and Teejay clasping their hands to their ears, and giving expressions of disgust.� The monster now appears to be facing downwards, as Teejay and Jave are once again sent hurtling down towards the front of the mouth.� They both peer over the edge of the mouth.

JAVE

You ready?

Teejay nods, and is just about to climb between the teeth when the jaws SLAM shut, inches from his face.

They open again.� Teejay peers out, to see the monster is trampling through the city of Escuro, people looking like insects as they scramble out of the way.� Teejay slips between the teeth, takes hold of the rope and pushes away from the monsters mouth�

�

151�� EXT. XEESLE � DAY�� 151

TEEJAY emerges from the MONSTERS mouth, and begins to climb down.� JAVE emerges from between the teeth, takes hold of the rope and follows him.� The rope sways as the monster takes huge strides through the city, with Jave and Teejay swaying with it helplessly.�

Teejays POV as the monster moves through the city blocks, turning and ducking, leaving the impression of a sickeningly fast roller coaster.

The monster moves out of the city, out onto the beach.� Jave and Teejay have reached the middle of the rope.� The monster is crouched down as it peers into a building.� The ground is only 20 feet below them.

JAVE

Jump, NOW.

The monster rears up, and the ground falls away suddenly.� Teejay looks ill from what must be a sickening feeling in his stomach.� The ground is now 250 feet below them.

JAVE (CONT�D)

NOT NOW.

The monster turns towards a giant garbage heap.� It notices several buildings standing on the other side, and turns to walk to them.� Taking slow steady steps as it walks over the garbage mound.� Sliding as fast as they dare, Teejay and Jave reach the end of the rope, the garbage mound rushing beneath their feet.� The monster is rapidly approaching the highest point of the mound.

JAVE

Teejay, see the top of the mound.� When Xeesle passes over that we�ll have the lowest drop to the ground.� Ready to let go?

TEEJAY

Hate to remind you of this, but remember I have a problem with letting go.

JAVE

Listen to me.� When we pass over that mound, you�re going to let go of your letting go problem.� OK?

The top of the mound is rapidly approaching.

TEEJAY

OK.

JAVE

Say to yourself �I�m going to let go�.

TEEJAY

I�m going to let go.

JAVE

Teejay, are you going to let go?

TEEJAY

Yes.

JAVE

I can�t hear you.

TEEJAY

YES.

The monsters head emerges over the top of the mound.� A 20-foot drop is between them and the soft rubbish.

JAVE

Now let go.

TEEJAY

No.

Jave looks unsure for a second, and then lets go of the rope, knocking into Teejay as he falls.� Teejay is knocked from the rope, and they both fall to the rubbish mound�

152�� EXT. GARBAGE HEAP � DAY�� 152

TEEJAY hits the rubbish feet first, bouncing off it and rolling down the slope, whining from the pain in his injured leg.� JAVE falls into a pile of plastic bags, and rolls down the slope after Teejay.� The monsters FOOT hits the mound, narrowly missing Jave as a toe lands on either side of him.� The foot lifts up, leaving a giant footprint behind.� Teejay�s roll comes to a halt amongst some old newspapers.� Jave comes to a stop beside him.

Ahead of them the monster is examining the buildings.� It thrusts its claw into the building, brickwork crumbling towards the ground.� Finding nothing to interest it, it turns back.�

The monster stares down, directly at Jave and Teejay.

TEEJAY

How long until those bombs go off?

JAVE

Must be any moment now.

TEEJAY

How do you know?

JAVE

Because otherwise we�re dead.

The monster continues to stare at them; it crouches downwards, resting its arms on the mound.� Cracks appear down the sides of its back.� Jave and Teejay stare on, as the cracks grow wider.� Something can be seen wriggling from beneath.� The tips of wings poke out through the cracks.� The skin on the monsters back splits open, giant bat like WINGS emerging.� They slowly unfold, bodily fluid sticking to them.

TEEJAY

What is it doing?

JAVE

It�s growing stronger.

The wings are now outstretched, each one 300 foot long.� The monster beats the wings, slowly at first.�

TEEJAY

It can�t take off, it�s too heavy.

The wings beat faster, forming a breeze, which scatters loose paper across the garbage heap.� The wind quickly gets stronger, until Jave and Teejay are having trouble standing up.� The monster slowly lifts into the air, its shadow passing over Jave and Teejay.� It sweeps over them and fly�s out towards the Rust Bucket.

153�� EXT. RUST BUCKET � DAY�� 153

The MONSTER flies past the mushroom cloud of the first bomb, towards the Rust Bucket.� People stare helplessly at the rapidly approaching monster.� BRETT nurses a broken leg.� MARISHA, the BOSS, LEETSI and DISO all look on in dread.

The monster suddenly halts in midair.� It�s belly lights up with the power of four nuclear bombs struggling to escape its body. It writhes in agony as a BOOM reaches the ears of the observers standing on the deck.� They fall to the deck from the shockwave, hands on their ears.

The monster continues to writhe, its flesh bubbling and burning.� It opens its mouth, FLAMES shooting forth.� Finally, the force of the bombs splits open it�s belly, more FLAMES shooting out.� The monster is ripped in two, and its writhings finally stop.� Pieces of burning flesh fall to the deck of the Rust Bucket.

154�� EXT. GARBAGE HEAP � DAY�� 154

TEEJAY and JAVE watch in silent awe as the two halves of the MONSTER fall from the sky, trailing flames and body parts.� The glare from the explosion lights up their faces.� The two halves of the monster hit the water, sending HUGE WAVES spreading out from the impact sight.� Jave and Teejay watch the waves as they hit the shore.� They rush up onto the land.� The waves move closer, sweeping up the garbage heap.� Jave and Teejay step back cautiously, but the water slows down.� It is already receding when a GIANT DRAGONFLY lands before them, an OFFICIAL of Prosponeous.� He holds a gun as he climbs of the back of the dragonfly.

OFFICIAL

Jave Black and Teejay Swezzan�Swezz�

TEEJAY

Yeah, that�s us.

OFFICIAL

You are both placed under arrest by the government of Prosponeous for entering our sacred tombs.

JAVE

We save the world, and look at the thanks we get.

TEEJAY

Next time we won�t bother saving humanity.

Jave and Teejay quickly swap glances.� Compared to what they�ve just been through this will be a piece of cake.� Jave kicks the official�s gun, sending it flying.� Teejay trips him up, sending him tumbling down the rubbish heap.� They both leap onto the giant dragonfly.� Teejay tugs on the reins, and it lifts from the ground with a hum of wings.� Teejay pulls the reins, and the dragonfly flies off in the direction of the Rust Bucket.

155�� EXT. DRAGON FLY � DAY�� 155

TEEJAY holds the reins, while JAVE clings on behind him.� Jave has to shout for his voice to carry over the WHIR of the dragonfly�s wings.�

JAVE

So much for our cash award for rescuing the princess.

TEEJAY

And for the �someone special at home�.

JAVE

And for the treasure we packed.

TEEJAY

And for clearing our names.� Well, perhaps we could look at the situation more positively.� We could say the experience made us richer.

Jave doesn�t look like he�s taking that view.

JAVE

I�m not even going to dignify that with an answer.

Jave looks downwards, and peering into his pockets, suddenly notices something.� In his pocket are several seeds, each with a dollar sign on them.� Seeds from the money tree that grew in Pearl City.� A huge grin grows across Jave�s face.

JAVE

Hey, Teejay, money doesn�t grow on trees, right?

TEEJAY

(Confused)

Right.

JAVE

Guess again.

The dragonfly pulls up along side the Rust Bucket, hovering still.� MARISHA runs up to the railing holding Jave�s hat.� Jave takes it, nods politely, and the dragonfly moves on, flying out to sea.

156�� INT. PROSPONEOUS HOSPITAL CORRIDOR � DAY�� 156

BRETT lies in a hospital bed, with his broken leg in plaster.� Several NURSES are pushing his bed through the corridor.� His DIRECTOR follows.

BRETT

This is going to disappoint the fans.

DIRECTOR

We�ll just run some repeats, and I was thinking of a spin off series, charting your recovery.� Oh, and the princess has made a request that you are put in the same ward as a friend of hers, so that you can patch things up.

BRETT

A friend of the princess, hang on.� You�re not telling me�

157�� INT. PROSPONEOUS HOSPITAL ROOM � DAY�� 157

BRETT is wheeled into a room.� The other bed in the room is occupied by RAGWORT.� Brett looks horrified as he glares at the DIRECTOR.

BRETT

(Quietly)

He�ll drive me mad.

DIRECTOR

Be nice.

The director leaves the room.

RAGWORT

(Nervously)

Hello.� We�re going to be sharing a room right?

Brett gives a forced smile.

BRETT

Yes.

RAGWORT

Do you want to hear my story about my racing dragon egg?

Brett mouths �No�.

BRETT

Yeah, sure.

RAGWORT

It was the most magnificent sparkling aqua colour.� My servants polished it everyday.� In the evenings, I�d just sit and stare at it�

Brett already looks bored as Ragwort drones on.

158�� EXT. ZAONCE � DAY�� 158

A door of one of the mushroom houses opens, to reveal JAVE and TEEJAY.�

JAVE

Good afternoon to you.� Let me introduce us.� Jave Black.

TEEJAY

And Teejay Swezzanalia.

JAVE

Heroes for hire.

The RESIDENT of the house looks a little confused.

TEEJAY

Is there a damsel in distress who needs rescuing�

JAVE

Or a dragon that needs slaying.

TEEJAY

No act of heroism too big or too small.

RESIDENT

There�s a troll who�s squatted beneath the bridge over that river.�

(Points to bridge)

It�s terrorising the visitors.� Really puts the tourist�s off.

JAVE

Sure.

He hands the resident a form.

JAVE (CONT�D)

If you�d like to sign here.� The bill for vanquishing trolls is 150 dollars, and you don�t have to pay a penny until we�ve banished it for good.

The resident looks at it thoughtfully before signing.� Jave places the form in his pocket.

JAVE (CONT�D)

Thank you sir.� We�ll be back as soon as we�ve banished one troll.

Jave and Teejay turn away from the door, leaving the still somewhat baffled resident to close it.� They walk towards the bridge.� Beneath it is a large TROLL.

TEEJAY

What do you think?

JAVE

Piece of cake.

Jave and Teejay both reach behind their backs and pull out CROSSBOWS.� They point them threateningly at the troll.� The troll doesn�t look intimidated though.� The troll pulls out an even LARGER CROSSBOW.� It points it towards Jave and Teejay.� They both run as fast as they can, taking refuge behind a mushroom house.

JAVE

I think it�s time for a tea break.

TEEJAY

As good a time as any.

JAVE

And I�m thinking we should start charging hazard pay.

TEEJAY

Definitely.� Hey, how about we rid the bridge of the troll by getting it to chase us out of town.

JAVE

That might work.

Jave and Teejay strap their crossbows to their backs and emerge from behind the mushroom house.� They run straight towards the troll.� Seeing them, the troll thunders towards them.� Jave and Teejay bring themselves to a halt.� They turn and start running away from the troll.� They run towards distant hills, the troll chasing after them.

FADE TO CLOSING CREDITS