Mon Enfer En Psychedelique (My Psychedelic Hell) CHET sits in a bar, alone. All around him people are laughing, drinking, dancing, having a good time. CHET nurses a cola and looks despondent - he is clearly a sad man. A drunken WOMAN stumbles against him, spilling his drink. WOMAN: Sorry, pal.... CHET: That's okay. No harm done. CHET stands up, and we see that the drink has soaked the front of his pants. WOMAN: Oh, sorry! (Giggles) Sorry! You look like you've....(giggles) pissed yourself....sorry! CHET: Really, that's okay. WOMAN: Look, why don't we go into the bathroom and clean you up? CHET: (Hesitant) Well....I don't know.... WOMAN: (Taking his arm firmly) Come on. BATHROOM. CHET hovers awkwardly near a urinal while the WOMAN holds his soaked pants in one hand. She is trying to dry them using an automatic hand dryer. CHET is wearing aged boxers and his shirt....the bathroom door opens, and a MAN steps in. He glances at CHET, then at the WOMAN. MAN: Uh...sorry.... He stumbles off. CHET, in surprise, releases his grip on the boxers....they fall around his ankles. WOMAN points at his crotch and laughs hysterically. CHET covers his penis and lowers his head sadly. HOTEL ROOM. Morning. CHET and the WOMAN lie next to each other in a large double bed. CHET is staring at the ceiling; the WOMAN is staring at him in disbelief. She turns onto her side and mutters something incoherent. CHET: Come again? WOMAN: (Getting up to leave) I very much doubt that. She exits and slams the door. CHET lies back dejectedly. After a few moments, the 'phone in his room rings. CHET: (Answering 'phone) Yes....this is room 417. Yes, I did rent it for one night only....I'm sorry? Oh, someone else is waiting....okay, no problem....yes, she was my ladyfriend....I thought she was footing the bill! Oh, Jeeze, how much....seven hundred dollars! That's impossible, how could it possibly....what do you mean, that's just her charge? Oh, okay. CHET sighs, gets up, as over we play: "I'm A Loser". CHET walks out of the hotel, looking dejected and scruffy, past reception where he signs a check for eight hundred dollars. A dog attacks him as he leaves, running away, looking over his shoulder, he falls over the bins. CHET: (sighs) Just not my day.... He continues to walk along the street; it is a warm, sunny, bustling morning in the city. Weary, he heads for a small coffee shop at the roadside. It is virtually empty; he takes a window seat. The OWNER comes over. OWNER: Whadd'you want? CHET: Just a black coffee, please. OWNER: We don't got no coffee. CHET: But this is a coffee shop! How can you not have coffee? OWNER: I tell ya, we don't got no coffee! Now if you ain't gonna order, get out! CHET: But....(pause) Oh. Okay. He laves as the OWNER gazes after him in disgust. As CHET exits the coffee shop, we fade to black and white; as he walks on, we see various people also walking along the street; they appear in splashes of colour. CHET is alone in his black and white world. His own private rain shower begins to fall, exempting everyone else on the street, as he heads down a quiet back road. CHET: God, it's at times like this you really need a friendly face. As he says this, a young TRAMP overhears and heads in his direction. TRAMP: Hi, friend. CHET: Hi. I'm sorry, I have no change. TRAMP: What makes you think I want any? (Pause). Look, pal, I may have no money but at the minute, I can tell which of us is the richer guy. CHET: Yeah? TRAMP: (Gently) Yeah. And you know, it's okay to feel bad. But you can't bottle it up, friend; you have to let it all out, talk to someone. CHET: (Wailing) Sometimes I just need someone to hold me and tell me everything's all right! CHET throws himself into the TRAMP's arms; the TRAMP hugs him. TRAMP: You can always depend on the kindness of strangers. CHET: (Pulling back) Thank you. Thank you so much.. (Turns to address a couple walking on the opposite side of the street) It's guys like this man here who make me feel like someone truly cares in this broken-down old world. CHET pats the TRAMP on the shoulder and walks away, much cheered; the TRAMP smiles benignly until CHET has walked some distance and is out of earshot, then turns and heads in the opposite direction. As he walks away, he grins broadly, and cheerfully tosses a wallet monogrammed "Chetty" into the air and catches it. TRAMP: What a loser. INT. A small, untidy apartment sitting room. The clock above the fireplace reads "7:05 p.m.". The door opens and CHET enters, looking tired and depressed. As he does so, his room mate, Johnny, enters the sitting room from the kitchen. JOHN: Hey, Chetty. CHET: Hey, Johnny. JOHNNY: What's up? You look like one of your blind dates. CHET: Ah, nothin' much. Had a bad day, you know. JOHNNY: (Sympathetic but unsurprised; he has known CHET a long time) You wanna talk about it? Come on (pats couch). Come sit down, I'll make you coffee. CHET: Don't mention coffee. (Drops onto the couch). God. First thing I wake up with this woman I never met before who insults my masculinity for reasons I don't even remember. Then, some fake-friendly tramp steals my wallet. I get to work and, guess what? I'm late. Yeah. Late. And guess what? The boss says I'm late. JOHNNY: Did you get fired? CHET: No....I told old man Carruthers exactly why I didn't turn up until eleven am. this morning. He said that if it had been anyone else, he wouldn't have believed it. (Pause) Is that a good thing? JOHNNY shakes his head and sits beside CHET. JOHNNY: Look, Chetty: you're a nice guy. A really, genuinely, truly nice guy. But that's it. You get my drift? CHET: No. JOHNNY: What I'm trying to say is, you need to get out more. CHET: I tried! Look what happened last night! JOHNNY: No, I mean seriously. Look, I have a date later tonight; the girl I'm taking out, Sandra, has a real pretty sister who's shy and single. Just like you. I think you'd hit it off. CHET: You mean, not score? JOHNNY: Er....that wasn't quite what I meant. I mean, I think you'll hit it off with her. CHET: (He thinks about it) No....No, John. Thanks, but I don't think I can stand another disappointment. I guess I'll just curl up by the fire with a decent book, and try not to be bitter. JOHNNY: It's your call, buddy. (He glances at the clock) Hey, it's seven ten! I have to get ready. Look, I left a frozen Hungry Man dinner in the refrigerator. CHET: (Perking up) I'm a hungry man! JOHNNY: Then it's for you. Call me at eight, okay? I'm gonna take a bath. CHET: Okay.... Exit JOHNNY. CHET heads for the kitchen, humming tunelessly to himself. INT. Kitchen CHET opens the refrigerator and takes out his dinner, placing it in the microwave. He watches the turntable with fascination for a while and then turns to get himself a drink. INT. Bathroom. JOHNNY is undressing while a bath runs. INT. Kitchen. CHET sings to himself while his dinner heats up. We see the microwave readout - it has ten seconds to go. INT. Bathroom. Johnny luxuriates in his bath. INT. Kitchen. CHET sips orange juice; he heads for the microwave. Before he can reach it, the device explodes, showering him with the decimated dinner, bits of cardboard, and pieces of turntable and plastic. As smokes obliterates our vision, CHET whimpers sadly. As the smoke clears, we see a tall, dark, camp SATAN in leathers and carrying a riding-whip. A long forked red tail dangles from his rear through a hole in the trousers. SATAN: Hello there, Chetty. CHET: (Fearfully) Who....who are you? SATAN: Well, who do I look like, dear? CHET: Well....one of the village people with a tail, actually. SATAN: Don't be smart. I am the Prince of Darkness. CHET: Really? Are you sure that shouldn't be "Queen of Darkness"? SATAN: Enough! I am here to offer you everything you ever wanted....money....power....voluptuous women.... CHET: Wow. . SATAN: So....are you interested? CHET: I don't know....this is too much....I feel a little queer. SATAN: So do I, dear, quite regularly. His name is Dave. CHET: Ah. Er....so, you're just going to give me money and women and things? Just because? SATAN: Not exactly, Chetty. As you know, I always ask a high price for my little gifts bestowed on mortals. I'm quite ruthless actually. CHET: (Shudders; sotto) My soul? SATAN: A very high price, Chet. CHET looks fearfully upwards at the ceiling (also the bathroom floor) from where we can here Johnny singing in the bath) CHET: (Aside) Oh God....Johnny, too! (Aloud, to SATAN) Our souls? SATAN: Sweetheart! You could arrange it? CHET: Um....I think somehow we've got our....uh....wires crossed, Mr. Devil. SATAN: Oh, call me Lucifer. Or even better, Lucy. CHET: Lucy. So, what do I have to give you in order to get things? SATAN: Depends on what you want. When you deal with Satan, my darling, you need to know exactly what that is. So....what's it to be? CHET: Well, the women and power sounded pretty good. Wait! What I want is....I want people to stop laughing at me. I want women to want me, men to respect me. I'm tired of this sad, clumsy existence. I want some of the high life! SATAN: Done! (He snaps his fingers. Nothing happens) CHET: Er....how do we tell? SATAN: Patience, patience, Chetty. And remember, I must extract my payment. But, since I like you, perhaps that won't be so demanding. CHET: Okay. Er....thanks. SATAN: Welcome, dear one. Now I must be going....got a ten o' clock appointment with a very naughty politician to whom I gave quite a bit of authority. He never did pay me. CHET: (Curious) What was the payment? SATAN: He has a rather charming young son.... CHET: (Hastily) I don't want to know. Well, goodbye, Lucy. Thanks again. SATAN: Any time, Chetty. But remember (leaning close to CHET) don't welsh on me, or it'll be fire and brimstone and leather undies for you! SATAN vanishes in a puff of smoke. CHET is left staring somewhat blankly at the place where he had been. He frowns, shakes his head, and begins to collect the bits of food and microwave littering the floor. As he does so JOHNNY enters, drying his hair. JOHNNY: I thought I heard you talking to someone down here, Chet. Was it the 'phone? CHET: No....er, nobody. Just....the TV. JOHNNY: Whatever. Hey....there's something different about you, Chetty. I can't put my finger on it. It's as though you suddenly became less sad and pathetic and developed a personality. CHET: (Shrugs non-committally) Hey. JOHNNY: Look....will you reconsider coming out tonight? CHET: What do you know about that!? JOHNNY: I meant with me and Sandra and Dubious. CHET: Pardon? JOHNNY: Dubious. That's her sister's name. She's real cute. CHET: I don't know....okay! What the Hell! JOHNNY: Great! Look, you go get ready, I'll call Sandy and let her know. INT. Restaurant. JOHNNY, SANDRA, and DUBIOUS sit at a table for four. DUBIOUS is dressed in a very low cut, tight red leather dress and high boots.. Enter CHET, from the bathroom. CHET: Hi, guys. Sorry about that. JOHNNY: Not a problem, Chetty. This is Dubious. CHET: The menu? JOHNNY: No, I mean this is Dubious. (Indicates her) Sandra's sister. DUBIOUS: (Girlie falsetto) Hi. I'm Dubious (giggles). CHET: I'll just bet you are. SANDRA: Well, shall we order? They study the menus; DUBIOUS gazes over hers adoringly at CHET, who smiles back shyly. She wiggles her eyebrows; bewildered, he wiggles his in return. She licks her lips suggestively. He smiles uncertainly. We pull back to see under the table; she places her foot in his crotch. CHET: Er....(clears throat) I'm think I'll have the....er....Oxtail soup to start with followed by er....roasted phallus. Duck! I mean duck. SANDRA: That sounds nice. I'll think I'll have the same. JOHNNY: Yeah, me too. Dubious? DUBIOUS: I think I'll try the toad-in-the-hole. (Smiles at CHET). I always wanted to taste a long, hot, British sausage. CHET: Um....excuse me. I need to use the bathroom again. CHET races from the room. We follow him as he enters the lavatory. He rushes into a cubicle; a few seconds later, heads for the door. He pauses beside the condom machine, hesitating, then shrugs. CHET: Oh, what the Hell. He puts money into the machine and obtains a three pack of condoms. He heads again towards the door, hesitates, looks back at the machine. He returns to it and gets another pack, smiling to himself. A sleazy looking hotel, late at night. CHET and DUBIOUS are in a suite together, smoking cigarettes. CHET turns to her. CHET: So, where do we go from here? DUBIOUS: Well I live about three blocks away. CHET: No, no. I mean our relationship. DUBIOUS: Relationship? You wanna screw me again? CHET: What? No. I mean, us, you and me, making a go of it together in a harsh, cold world. DUBIOUS: You wanna do it in Poland? CHET: You just want me for my body don't you? (He gets up and begins to pace) All my life, all I've ever wanted is for a woman to want me for me. And now look. I find a willing lover who finds me attractive and charming, but does she want me for my mind? My wit? No, she just wants to sleep with me a lot of times. Well, I've had it with love. I've had it with women. For despite the urges of my masculine body my soul can never be satiated with meaningless sex. DUBIOUS: We could do that thing with the vanilla ice cream again f it'll make you feel better. CHET: What the hey. Some hours later. CHET and DUBIOUS sleep next to each other in the bed. SATAN appears in a flash of psychedelic light. SATAN: (Leaning over CHET) Wakey wakey, Chetty. CHET: Hmmm? What? SATAN: Good morning. I see you had fun last night. Well done, my sweet. CHET: What....what are you doing here? DUBIOUS: (Waking) Chetty? Who's there, babe? SATAN: Hello. CHET: Um....this is the Prince of Darkness. DUBIOUS: More like the queen of darkness, I guess (giggles). I'm Dubious. SATAN: I see that, my darling. Now, why don't you pack up your little tacky make-up kit and away into the night to your next punter, sweetbuns, while I discuss a little business with my friend Chetty. DUBIOUS: Hey....okay. Exit DUBIOUS. SATAN sits down on the bed next to CHET. SATAN: So. Was yesterday enjoyable for you after we made our little agreement? CHET: Um....sure. It was kinda nice. Er...thanks, Lucy. SATAN: You're more than welcome, pet, but as you know we had a deal. And now it's time to pay up, Chetty sweet. CHET: What....what do you want from me? SATAN: Ooh. Haven't really decided. But I think your little friendy Johnny would fit the bill for starters, yes? CHET: No! No, I'm sorry, Lucy, but Johnny's my best friend. I could never agree to sell you his soul. Besides which he pays my rent. Now you'll just have to have something else....how about Dubious? She's nice. SATAN: She's a girl, dear. Do you think I have a problem or something? Now listen . I never said anything about your dear Johnny's pretty little soul. All I'm asking is....a date. CHET: With Johnny? SATAN: No, with St. Francis of Assisi, Chetty. Of course with John! From the moment I laid eyes on him, I knew my heart was lost forever to his sweet little buns and his diddy little man-nipples. CHET: You perved on Johnny's nipples? SATAN: Now stop distracting me, I have other places to go tonight. What I need you to do, Chetty love, is to introduce me to your charming friend. I want you to set up a chance meeting between the two of us....a glance across a crowded room, a hasty whisper over a full dining table at a high class wine dinner; a secret love letter burning with passion.... CHET: That's going to be hard. SATAN: I know dear, but what can one do? CHET: No, I meant fixing you up with John. He's a Christian, you know. I don't think he'll jump at the chance to have a charming t�te-�-t�te with a homosexual son of evil. SATAN: Well, you'd better give it a try, dear, and fast, or otherwise....no more girlies for you! Do you remember how it felt, little Chetty, to be lonely and unwanted in a crowd? To know that everyone in the room was secretly laughing at you and your moth-eaten penis? you're a sad man with a pathetic little life, Chet, and without my help you will stay that way. C'est la vie. He vanishes. CHET stares unhappily into space. CHET: Oh, dear. INT. CHET's house. JOHNNY is sitting on the couch reading a paper as CHET walks in. JOHNNY: Hi, Chet. Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. CHET: Hello. JOHNNY: So....how did it go then? CHET: Oh. I slept with her, Dubious. JOHN: Yes it is rather. CHET: No, I did, really. JOHN: Good for you! And you have another date when? CHET: Er....never, I'm afraid. She's not my type. But tonight I'm going out with the entire Norwegian all-female ballet company. JOHN: Chetty....there's something I've been meaning to ask you. It's pretty personal so if you don't want to tell me.... CHET: Shoot. JOHN: Okay. It's like this. I notice that you've been really popular lately with the ladies. CHET: And? JOHN: And you've been promoted at work, dogs don't bark at you anymore on the streets, little kids don't throw rocks at your head when you walk down the sidewalk....people actually seem to like you. CHET: Well, what can you do? JOHN: Seriously, Chetty....is there something I should know? Did you suddenly come into money? Or make a pact with the Devil or something? CHET looks alarmed. CHET: A pact with....Lucy? Er....I mean the Prince of Darkness? Why would I....er.... JOHN: I was just being sarcastic about the Satan thing. CHET: Well, you know, Johnny, Satan mayn't be all that bad. I mean, I guess he's pretty smart and all, running Hell like he does and.... JOHN: Chetty, are you feeling okay? What on earth are you talking about? CHET: Nothing. Well....okay. As you asked, you see I have this problem. JOHN: I know. CHET: No, not the trainers thing. I mean, I have an....ecclesiastical problem. JOHN: You've found God? That's terrific! CHET: Not....not exactly God. It's....well it's like this. I was in the kitchen one day and.... LUCY materialises in a flash of pink light. LUCY: Allow me to explain. JOHN: Oh, sweet lord! The Prince of Darkness! Chet, where's my crucifix and the holy water? Quickly! LUCY: Calm down, dear, calm down. I'm not here to burn you to a crisp or anything like that. But since darling Chetty seems to be having a little problem, I wondered if I might not just pop in and explain my case to you. You see, Johnny, your little friend and I have....an understanding. (Smiles) A very nice little understanding, actually, which entitles me to....(dramatic pause)....a date! JOHN: Who with? Chet? LUCY: No, you hunky numskull....you! JOHN: Oh, wait. No way. Not a chance in....Harrogate. You think I'm dancing with the devil? LUCY: But darling! JOHN: Never! I will not succumb to your temptations, son of evil! Especially not in that shirt! LUCY walks over to JOHN, puts his tail around JOHN's waist. LUCY: Now let's be reasonable.... JOHN: (Angry) Get out of my house! LUCY looks sadly at CHET, then disappears. CHET smiles awkwardly. CHET: He's not so bad.... JOHN: You too! I've finished with you. Go on, get out! And never darken my doorway again! JOHN is sitting in the living room, reading. There is a flash of light and LUCY appears. JOHN: (Leaping up) Get thee behind me, Satan! LUCY: Oh darling, you've had a change of heart! JOHN: Hardly. I have my crucifix right here.... LUCY: And very pretty it is too. Now, dear, I want to have a little word. JOHN: (Suspiciously) Oh.... LUCY: It's about your bosom buddy Chet. JOHN: I want nothing more to do with that Judas. My soul....and other parts of my anatomy....are not his to sell! LUCY: But he's so dejected, darling. Look. LUCY waves a hand. Mists roll up and then clear; hazy picture of CHET sitting alone in a hotel room, looking miserable and surrounded by roaches, is visible. LUCY: You see? He's terribly lonely. Life in the fast lane is all very well for some, Johnny, but not for your friend. He thought that having all he ever wished for, girls, women, promotions - he thought that would make him happy, but how wrong can one be? Material gain and sex isn't the route to happiness, Johnny. No one could ever enjoy life without friends....and it is friends, such as you, who are important to Chet. JOHN: You make a lot of sense, Satan. LUCY: Call me Lucy. So, are we on? JOHN: I beg your pardon? LUCY: You're the only one who can help Chetty get the life he deserves - simple, happy, routine. Although I've made him appear attractive and charming by the use of my devilish black magic he's still a geek at heart, and eventually even the most vapid bimbo will see through the illusion manly aptitude. We have to stop him before that happens. Already he's had sex with fifty different girls in the week since you threw him out and he's never been more miserable.....or tired. JOHN: Okay. I'll do this for Chet. But how? If you simply remove the illusion you've created he'll get dumped on again. That could push him over the edge. LUCY: You worry far too much, my dear boy. I'm not likely to harm sweet little Chetty. JOHN: You've already harmed him by your evil, twisted deal! That poor child had no idea what he was getting into. It takes a cruel and callous heart to take advantage of a sweet innocence boy that way. LUCY: (Sadly) Won't you ever forgive me, Johnny? I meant no harm to Chet. I like him. I wanted him to be happy. But most of all, I wanted you. LUCY moves over to JOHN and puts an arm around his shoulders. LUCY: Ever since the day you were born I knew you'd be special. For almost twenty five years I've waited for the day when I would liberate your repressed soul and take you on a journey which no mortal has ever undertaken before. Throughout your life I've watched over you, helped you. When you failed your exams. what did I do? Bribed the teacher to get you an A. JOHN: (gasps) That was you! I always wondered how I made valedictorian after answering "small pineapple" to that question about enemas. LUCY: When you got needed work and no-one would employ you, I was the one who made the deal with old man Ferguson to get you into his company. JOHN: Wow! You mean his lottery win and nineteen year old wife in the Bahamas was your doing? LUCY: Oh yes. For over two decades I've looked out for you, Johnny, waiting for the time when I would receive my payment. I brought rain when you were sweaty, heat when you were cold, porn when you got horny....and now what happens? You thrust me aside like....like....oh I don't know! LUCY collapses on the ouch, sobbing. JOHN, looking guilty, walks over to him. JOHN: Look, Lucy, I never knew al this before today. It's not the sort of thing you think about is it? I mean, me being a good Christian and a stamp collector and all. (Sighs) Oh, I feel so guilty now. What can I do to make this up to you? LUCY: (sniffs) How about that date? JOHN: What!? LUCY: C'mon, Johnny, you owe me this, JOHN: But look, I'm not even into guys, let alone immortal spawn of Hell! LUCY: I'm not a guy - technically. I can any form you want.... There is a flash and LUCY disappears to be replaced by Sandra. LUCY: Hi, Johnny. JOHN: Hey, stop that! You're messing with my head! LUCY: (Transforming back to normal) Look, I'm not demanding sex or anything, just dinner, maybe a club afterwards, I could introduce you to some interesting people. JOHN: I don't know....(sighs) well, okay. Now let's go sort out Chetty. CHET's hotel room. CHET sits on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at a woman who is lying on it, half naked. WOMAN: Chetty, come to bed. CHET: Leave me alone. You're a bimbo and I don't wanna have sex with you. WOMAN: Hey, we don't have to have a conversation or anything, do we? What do you want, astrophysics? CHET: I just wish that women would want me for my mind, not my body. Before I just wished women would want me. Now I'm so confused. People don't throw bricks at my head anymore, they throw condoms. People keep shaking my hand, patting my shoulder, feeling my butt. It's all so shallow and pointless. He stops, looks up. The woman has gone. CHET: (Wails) No-one listens to me! Why don't I have anyone to talk to? Enter JOHNNY and LUCY in a flash of light. JOHNNY: You do, Chetty. CHET: John! I thought you'd abandoned me forever! JOHN: How could I do that? You're my friend, Chet, and I care about you. CHET: It's been horrible, Johnny. I want this to end, but I'm scared that if I go back to being me again no one will respect me. JOHN: I'll respect you, Chet. And so will lots of people. You're a good guy. CHET: Thanks, Johnny. They embrace. LUCY watches tearfully. LUCY: That's so sweet! JOHNNY: (Getting up) I guess we owe you, Lucy (pause). So....I suppose.... LUCY: You'll go out with me? JOHN: (sighs) Yes. Once, and once only, and only if you promise not to come on to me. LUCY: Darling! He puts his tail around John's waist, and the two of them disappear in a flash of light. CHET: But....what about me? Who do I turn to now? There is a soft knock on the door. CHET opens it. SANDRA standing outside. SANDRA: Hi, Chetty. CHET: Hi, Sandra. I suppose you're looking for John? SANDRA: Actually no. I....I'm breaking up with him. He's a sweet guy and all, but....well....oh Chet, from the moment I saw you I knew we were meant to be together. CHET: Wow! Really? SANDRA: Sure. You were so sweet and gentle and incapable....I knew you were the type of man I've always needed in my life. CHET: Oh, Sandra. Caption: Two weeks later. SANDRA and CHET are dancing in a quiet looking club to romantic music. CHET: Sandra, you're so beautiful, and you mean such a lot to me. SANDRA: You're wonderful. CHET: There's something I want to ask you, baby. SANDRA: What is it, sweetheart? CHET: Will you....will you marry me? SANDRA: There's nothing I would want more! (Pause) But, Chet, what about Johnny? Won't he be terribly upset? There is a flash of light. LUCY and JOHN appear. JOHN is wearing revealing tight leather trousers and waistcoat and a cap. There is a metal collar around his neck attached to a chain held by LUCY. LUCY: Darlings, hello! CHET: Johnny!? JOHN: Hello, Chetty dear. Hi, Sandra. CHET: Johnny, there's....something I have to tell you. JOHNNY: Oh? SANDRA: Chet and I are getting married, John. JOHNNY: Oh, marvellous, dear! I wish you every happiness. CHET: But....aren't you mad? Or upset? Or vengeful? JOHN: Not at all, dear. You see, after spending a few days with Lucy I realised that all my life I've just been pretending to be something I'm not. Lucy helped me free myself. I'm not the squeaky clean accountant that you knew. CHET: Well, that's great, John. So what are you going to do know? LUCY: We're going to Hawaii! JOHN: Yeah, then Vegas. CHET: Then Hades. I know this sweet little club on the banks of the River Styx.... They fade slowly from view. SANDRA and CHET smile at each other. Caption: Four weeks later.... CHET and Sandra's wedding. JOHN is best man, LUCY is matron of honour. They leave the church, laughing, while a huge crowd throws confetti. In the crowd we can see CHET and Sandra's parents, JOHN's parents, Hitler, Stalin and Jack the Ripper, throwing confetti. A photographer snaps the picture, which we see on screen as the credits roll.
Copyright © 1999 Chesterton P. Limeregis |