Box Office Bust Chapter 1 People are fascinated by the movies and Hollywood. Some people hate Hollywood with a passion because they can’t believe that overpaid actors and actresses can get so much publicity and attention just for looking “radiant” and smiling for the cameras on the only red carpet people really care about. Others are in love with the lore of Hollywood and dream of the day when they can make their mark in cinematic history. Of course most of these aspiring actors and actresses don’t even come close to making it to the big screen. But these people still want to have their presence felt in the movie industry, so these “child star rejects” become cynical, ignorant, egotistical movie critics who let popcorn butter slowly clog up their arteries. Of course the dream has to start somewhere and for me the dream began in my cinematography class. I don’t even like the movies, but there were plenty of kids in my class who did and they definitely fit into the second group I mentioned in the opening paragraph. They were all sitting in my class chattering about the newest special effects. The bell rang three short chirps. The brass doorknob at the front of the room slowly turned and our teacher, Mr. Branzel stepped into the room. He had thinning black hair and wore glasses that were barley visible on his face. His eyes were a murky blue and whenever you looked at the guy you knew he wasn’t going to be teaching for much longer. He was wearing a wrinkled dress shirt, khaki dress pants and a black tie that had the words “Movies are a miracle” written on it. He strode to the front of the room, each step seeming to cause him pain. The class quieted. “Today I am going to assign you people your first big project of the semester, a group project.” A girls hand shot up. “Mr. Branzel I want to be work with group members who are highly motivated and have lots of ambition, group members who are willing to look at this project as not just an assignment, but to see it for what it really is, a golden opportunity,” she finished. “That’s great Ashley, but you don’t even know what the project is yet. You may hate the project once I explain it.” Mr. Branzel replied. That type of monologue could have only come from one person: Ashley Melgnut. Ashley was a skinny black girl notorious for being a group project dictator. She needed to call all the shots and didn’t accept anything less than an A+ effort from her group members. She was currently class valedictorian and wasn’t shy about telling people this fact. Her forehead was covered with a field of pimples. Despite her controlling ways and annoying habits, she impressed teachers with a big artificial smile and a willingness to tutor kids for a $7.25/hour fee. “As I was saying, you people are going to be doing a group project. I am going to randomly put you in groups of four. Jason you pair up with Jessica, Jane, and Douglas. Mike you pair with…” he droned on assigning people to groups. My eyes darted around the room and I wondered what fate would have to say about the people I was going to have to work with. I definitely didn’t want to work with Ashley. Soon almost everyone had been placed in a group except for “…Andy you get to work with Dan Ebeck, Sharon Hobaltz, and Ashley Melgnut. Now move your desks in a circle so you’re sitting with your other group members.” I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I was going to be working with Ashley? Dan? There was definitely going to be some fireworks within our group. The legs of three desks shuttered toward mine screeching across the chipped tile floor and soon I was sitting directly across from Ashley, flanked by Sharon and Dan, A circle of dysfunction. Dan had light brown hair and a stocky frame. He was the star of the debate team and his work had yielded several honors. The most recent one being permanently kicked off the team for arguing with some kid at another school and gave him a black eye. The kids on the debate team nicknamed him “Never Ending Debate” Dan. We didn’t have much time to get aquatinted because Mr. Branzel cut into the noise that filled the room. “Your project is you are going to have to create a movie using the digital cameras and computers we have in this room. The movie you create must have a positive message or theme. You will have two weeks to create your movies and the best movie will be shown to Ms. Allison Song’s first grade class at Kelent elementary school. Any questions?” “Could you give an example of a positive message?” a kid in the back of the room named Javier asked. “Well for example using methods other than violence to solve problems or individualism.” Mr. Branzel explained. “So all we gotta do is wait for Gandhi or Henry David Thoreau to pop out of their graves, film them, and we’re set?” “No because you couldn’t pay Gandhi or Henry David Thoreau enough money to work with you guys. I will review all your movies a few days before they are due and give the best movies to Ms. Song so she can show them to her class. I am going to be passing out to a sheet to every group that has all the project requirements and other important information. I have also assigned a director for each group. The director is in charge of the whole movie production and has the final say on everything concerning the movie. Do you understand? Now why don’t you start brainstorming some ideas with your group members while I pass out the requirements sheet?” He picked up a stack of yellow papers off his desk and began moving around the room. We sat staring at one another, none of us wanting to be the first to break the ice. I noticed Dan had a big green booger sticking out of his nose. Ashley stepped up to the plate. “Well before we go and make our movie I think that we ought to come up with our theme. Any ideas?” “Crime doesn’t pay!” Dan said enthusiastically. “How about talking about the importance of recycling?” Sharon suggested. Ashley eyeballed me, waiting for me to say something intelligent. “Ah how about the growing hole in the ozone layer and how kids can help save it?” I said. Ashley sighed heavily, ran her hands through her fingers through her long black hair, picking at a pimple on her forehead. “Well I suppose those are all good ideas but I think those topics are a little too advanced for first graders and they could frighten them. And besides, Mr. Branzel said our movie has to have a positive message, not address an environmental problem. “I propose this: Andy plays a wanderer, a loner, someone who is trying to find happiness. Then one day he meets a seamstress played by Sharon, and she shows him a magical sewing machine. Sharon tells Andy’s character that he can be happy forever if he takes this sewing machine. At first he rejects her offer. Later in the day while standing on a street corner begging for change, Andy is approached by a gangster, played by Dan, who offers him a briefcase with five million dollars in it. He takes the money but still feels depressed so he consults the seamstress again. They talk and the seamstress cons him out of the five million in exchange for the worthless sewing machine. “From then on Andy is still a loner but is no longer depressed and has a positive outlook on life. The seamstress uses the five million dollars to set up a factory to mass produce her flawed sewing machines. She aspires to become the greatest con woman in history, the end.” “I’m sorry did you just tell us a story about a magical sewing machine?” Dan asked. “Where’s the positive message and theme you were blabbing about? There is none! It’s stupid!” I couldn’t argue with Dan. Ashley’s idea didn’t seem to relate to the project at all. But I knew Ashley. She always ran with the first idea that popped into her head no matter how stupid it was. “Ashley, you said our movie ideas were too complex for first graders but then you come up a plot that involves a gangster and some evil sewing lady? You think first graders will be able to understand that? Heck I don’t even understand it.” I said “I don’t care. If you don’t get it you’re stupid. Besides I think you all know that I am your intellectual superior. This movie is going to be loaded with symbolism. Critics love symbolism. It’ll make our movie three demensional. Our audience needs someone in our movie they can identify with.” “I always identify with the con women on those home shopping channels” Dan said. “Dan please stop mocking my idea.” “No Ashley. It’s stupid and deserves to be mocked.” “Daniel I can’t respect the opinion of a man who lets dried mucus hang from his nose.” “Oh yeah? Speak for yourself hygiene queen!” Clear puss was now oozing out of Ashley’s ruptured pimple. Ashley turned red with anger. “I’m tired of this! We’re going to use my idea for our movie and that’s final! You can’t out rule me you brainless bums!” she yelled jabbing her finger at the project sheet. The word DIRECTOR was written next to Ashley’s name.
Copyright © 2004 Steven T |