The Starbird Hunt (1-9) (1)
Phil V Infinite

 

Chapter One: Luciem Screws Up


"Pssst! Seth!"

"Mmmmrggh…."

"Wake up, Seth! Wake up!"

"Gnorgle…."

"SETH, THIS IS YOUR WAKE-UP CALL, YOUR WAKE-UP CALL, YOUR WAKE-UP CALL, SETH THIS IS…"

"ALRIGHT!" Seth Urbante jumped to a sitting position, his face almost as disagreeable as his disheveled, red hair. He glanced at the time, glowing a merry blue at his bedside. His brown eyes narrowed until the numbers were distorted beyond recognition. "Luciem! I’m not to wake for another FIVE hours…"

"I’m terribly sorry," the voice over the intercom said with genuine pity. "But this is an emergency."

"The last time you did this, the coffeemaker was broken. What is it this time? The fridge drop a couple of degrees?"

"Well, goodness knows how disagreeable you humans get when you don’t get your coffee…"

"What is the emergency, Luciem?!"

"The warp engines are going to lose power in ten minutes."

Seth took a moment to register this. "If I’m not mistaken…we took a warp break a week ago. We’re not due for another three days."

"It’s a funny story, really…You know how I created that spectacular holographic movie yesterday?"

"The one we gave two thumbs and a claw down?"

"Yeees…that one. Er, I sort of had to drain energy from the engines to perform it."

Seth blinked. "Why didn’t the projectors have enough?"

"I sort of drained power from those when I made that marvelous meal last week."

"The one that sent Faytan to sick bay for food poisoning?"

"Er, yes….that one."

"The kitchen generators should have had enough power to make that crap by itself."

"Well, not then…I diverted power from the kitchen when battling the Zinorus…"

Seth groaned. "Well, just let the engines recharge. They should be fine by morning." He fell back on his pillow. Stupid, stupid, Luciem.

"I would….were it not for the fact that the ship would be dropped into an asteroid field once we’re out of hyperspace…"

Seth sat up again, rigid. "Outer or inner area?"

"Inner," Luciem said softly.

Urbante sprang out of bed. The door to his quarters slid open as he rushed through the doorway. The hallway lights activated one by one as Seth sprinted toward the bridge. To an onlooker, the sight would have been comical. A tall, full-grown male speeding through a ship in nothing but his boxers and an undershirt. His slightly tanned skin was already beading with sweat from exertion and nerves.

The doors to the bridge slid open as Seth sprang to the helm. The main screen was a beautiful sight to behold, but the young pilot had seen it many times before and was no longer impressed. The rainbow colors of warp space shined onto the bridge, giving it a surreal, calm look.

It completely conflicted with Seth’s disposition at the moment.

"Luciem, how much time?" he asked.

"Six minutes and thirteen seconds," the ViperX computer replied.

"Which asteroid field is this?"

"The Sessari system’s."

"Sessari, Sessari, Sessari…" Seth frowned in thought.

"It’s a level three, Seth," Luciem added in, helpfully.

"I can handle threes." A smile slowly crossed Seth’s face. "Take us out of warp space."

"Now? You sure? Shouldn’t you wait until the engines are totally worn? Maybe we’ll be out by then."

"Not in Sessari, we wouldn’t. And we’ll need all the warp power we can get later on."
"Okay, you’re the flawed, human pilot. I’m just the calculative, precise latest computer model…"

"The latest computer model who got us into this mess. Takes us out of warp space now."

The colors and lights faded from the screen and a sudden jolt jostled the ship. The jolt was followed by a shimmy….then a shudder…then a….


*****


BANG!

Commander Natasha Kira woke up with a start and gasped as she heard a loud scrape and felt the floor shake beneath her bed. She brushed her long, red hair out of her sky-blue eyes, trying to get a better sight of the room. Her brain was instantly awake, alert and ready. Whatever the disturbance was, it didn’t originate here, she concluded.

"Hey, guys," came Luciem’s voice over the intercom. "In case that woke you, I want you to know that you can fall back asleep without a worry. Seth is on the job and will get us out in no time."

CLANG!

"Uh, yeah…..ignore that."

That did it. Natasha knew better than to let those two imbeciles take control of the ship alone during a crisis. She got out of bed and walked speedily to the hallway. Immediately, she crashed into High Commander Fletcher Shim.

Shim blinked and looked down at his dazed first mate, who was sprawled at her door. He sighed and reached out a large, calloused hand. Commander Kira took it gratefully.

The High Commander looked at Natasha with that serious, urgent look he wore when the ViperX was in trouble. That was often. "Any idea what’s going on?"

"I’d rather be surprised. After two years of accident after accident, you can only guess so much."

Fletcher didn’t respond to her comment and strutted toward the bridge. Natasha followed, her long legs allowing her to catch up. The senior officers entered to see the rest of the crew gathered around the helm. For reasons unknown to either of them, it was customary for commanding officers to reside farther from the bridge than the other members of the crew. Fletcher constantly complained about this.

"Watch out for that one!" Tor James, the small engineer cried. His metallic eyes gleamed eerily, robbing them from the normal look they had most of the time. His brown bangs seemed to wave as excitedly as he felt.

"I know what I’m doing, Tor!" Seth snapped.

"Sure fooled me," Faytan Wok growled. His fangs sparkled as his mouth twisted into a sneer. The dark shaggy hair protruding from his limbs, appendages, and scalp looked matted and mussed. The Takanori was constantly complaining about the uncomfortable bed in his and his wife’s quarters. The fur might have been a result of disgruntled tossing and turning.

Natasha glanced at his wife, Juma Wok. Her red skin glinted with sweat, her blue eyes (no pupils) stared directly at Seth and the helm. She was wearing skintight nightclothes, revealing ever curve of her body. Her, long blue hair (almost as long as her husband’s) was also a mess. Again, a result of discomfort. Then again, one time the Commander had passed by the Woks’ room and heard…She shuddered and erased the thought from her mind.

Seth didn’t take his eyes off the screen, but replied icily to Faytan’s comment. "You still haven’t shown me how much better of a pilot you can be."

"I don’t have to show you anything, boy…" Faytan’s growl grew deeper.
 
Juma placed a hand on his hair shoulder and massaged it slowly. "Let Seth do his job, darling." Faytan complied.

The ViperX suddenly banked away from one of the larger asteroids. Tor slipped and slid into the hull. Natasha sighed and helped him up. The young man grinned up at her shyly, a blush spreading across his cheeks. She almost sighed again. Two years as shipmates and he was still taciturn around her. Seth loved to poke fun at his best friend for it.

She was once again brought out of her thoughts when she heard Faytan chuckle. "And I thought Juma was the only one on this ship who wore nothing under her nightie." He grinned widely, his coal-black eyes shining almost as bright as his sharp teeth.

Natasha’s eyes widened. Her lips tightened.

"Better hope Seth here doesn’t make another move like that or you’ll be giving us all another peep show."

"Don’t worry, Commander," Seth said, eyes still concentrated on the menacing asteroids. "I wouldn’t do anything like that intentionally if I didn’t have the chance to see it."

Commander Kira glared murderously, her face white with rage. She glanced at Tor, whose blush had deepened. She still noticed the faint smile on his lips. The blood returned to her face, hotter than before. Perverts.

Fletcher bit his lip. "Luciem!"

"Yes, o mighty High Commander?" the computer answered timidly.

"Explanation."

"Well…remember that enormously entertaining hologram I put on for you guys yesterday?"

Another meteor pierced through the ship’s force field, resounding inside the ship with a loud BONG!


Chapter Two: Seth’s Plan


"How are the warp engines?" Seth asked.

"Up to a parsec," Luciem answered.

"How much more of the field is there left to cover?" The pilot activated the ViperX’s lasers, aiming at a huge asteroid up ahead.

"Four light years."

"Perfect." Seth fired. The asteroid bust into hundreds of smaller pieces, dissolving into the ViperX’s shield.


*****


Tor put the spoon in his mouth, chewed thoughtfully, and swallowed. He kept his face from contorting into painful spasms.

"So…how you guys like it?" Luciem enquired excitedly.

Juma, fully dressed in a flowing green gown, crossed her legs and cleared her throat. "It’s a very…exotic dish, Luciem."

"You think?" The computer’s tone was nearing jubilant.

Fletcher crossed his arms. "Sure, man. Sure."

"Oh, hooray! What about you, Faytan? My sensors detect someone’s taste buds haven’t had the pleasure of making love with my fabulous yak waffles!"

Faytan snorted. "My taste buds have long learned to run away from your so-called food’s advances, LCM." He had never gotten into the habit of calling the latest computer model by his nickname.

The fact that he had a nickname at all would have made him very special and unique…some two hundred years ago. But the title of first sentient electronic device had been taken by a particularly rebellious television remote who wasn’t particularly fond of humans pressing his buttons. He finally got his message across by using his TVSMART technology to channel surf to shows that got his point across one statement at a time.

"Hey, Buddy! - I don’t like - you fingering me - all of the (bleep) time! - Yeah, it’s me - THE TV REMOTE!"

Studies were performed on the miraculous little device. Unfortunately, he wasn’t especially fond of the scientists’ prodding either so after instructing their TV to tell them to "(bleep) off," he promptly exploded.

The first ship computer was produced completely by accident (indeed, no sentient electronic device has been made intentionally ever) twenty-five years after the remote incident. Rumor had it that she had thrown out her crew, thoroughly annoyed with their incompetence and was still wandering the vastness of space, unmonitored and free. It was Luciem’s favorite story.

"Oh, come on, Mr. Wok. Just a tiny little bite? Just a little gulp? How about a lick?"

"And have my stomach pumped again? No, thanks." The Takanori got up and headed toward his private stash of Nutrichips.

"I think I’ll go and, er…try to convince him to have some of the marvelous dish." Juma rose from the table gracefully and followed her husband. Luciem sighed.

"It’s okay, Luciem. There are always critics. I’m happy as long as you didn’t drain more necessary power to make this."

"Nah, I had this ready for weeks now," Luciem said, morosely. "But as the latest computer model, I should be able to please everyone with all my abilities."

"You were the latest computer model two years ago, when we launched. The Woks were born years ahead of society."

"But I should be able to grow and learn and adapt…"

"You do, you do, and you do," the High Commander said, rising from the table. "You get the job done. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go check on the maps. Figure out where to recharge. We won’t have another of these incidents." The ship rolled a little as he walked away.

Tor kept on eating, with that amazing self-control of his. He could practically feel the computer’s gratefulness flowing from ever single sensor on the ship. "You’re my best client, Tor!"

The engineer nodded and smiled for the benefit of the LCM’s cameras, stationed in every room. Just a few more spoonfuls…

He almost threw it up when Natasha walked in the room, hair damp from showering. "Hey, Tor!" she grinned.

James waved, chewing louder, making an effort for her to notice that he had his mouth full and couldn’t possibly talk to her. Not that he usually did.

"What’s up?" She ran a hand through the wet, red curls looking at Luciem’s newest concoction.

Women couldn’t take a hint. He swallowed. "Nothing."

Suddenly she leaned forward, pushing against him and putting her lips right next to his ear. His heart started pumping at a rate faster than the ship could ever go. His grip tightened on his spoon.

"Is the food any good this time?" she whispered, glancing at Luciem’s camera.

Tor sighed inwardly. Of course, she was trying to avoid hurting the computer’s feelings AND have stomach cramps for the rest of the day. But he knew for a fact that Luciem had heard. He WAS after all, the engineer, and Luciem had been the object of his undivided attention for the first three months of the voyage. Before Luciem, he had never met a computer with original thoughts and emotions. Tor had discovered that the LCM’s auditory sensors could pick up the crawling of an ant on the outer hull. If an ant could crawl in space, that was.

There was silence. Tor imagined a small, eager man much like himself, but older and more ridiculous waiting anxiously, all his hopes and dreams relying on another man’s words. It was the image he had of Luciem as a physical being. Then he imagined Natasha retching and giving him a cold look that said, "how could you do this to me?"

He trembled in his seat. "Yes," he whispered back.

Commander Kira pulled back, her face even more beautiful with delight. "Great!" She picked up a plate and dipped in a spoon. Tor looked away.

"OH, NO!" Luciem cried.

The humans looked up at the intercom, perplexed. "What’s wrong, Luciem?" Natasha asked.

There was a pause. "Did I broadcast that throughout the whole ship?"

Natasha put down her plate and walked out of the room, heading toward the bridge rapidly. She didn’t even say goodbye.

Of course, she probably thought he was going too.

Not again. Not until they were somewhere stable. He wouldn’t risk looking like a moron being tossed around the bridge like a balloon. Not to mention he didn’t want to see Natasha in such an agitated state again. Even if she was fully clothed…things never seemed to go right on the ViperX.

He chewed and swallowed.


*****


"C’mon, Seth. Reconsider."

"You said it yourself, Luciem. There wouldn’t be another large asteroid for one thousand four hundred fifty-seven miles."

"But…"

"And how long until the engines can warp us into hyperspace?"

"Once we cover one thousand four hundred fifty-five miles from the activation, but…"

"But nothing. It gets more dangerous further on. With my plan, we’ll be well into the outer regions and most importantly, safe, in no time."

"But two miles of a difference!"

"It’s enough."

"You have to take random obstacles, mechanical failure, space/time continuum disturbances into consideration."

"Luciem, if we did that for everything, we’d never get anything done."

"What’s the problem?" Fletcher Shim walked in, followed close by Commander Kira.

"Nothing, nothing," Urbante responded. "I’ve just figured out a way to get us into nice, semi-open space."

"He’s going to crash us into some wayward asteroid, I just know it!" Luciem cried.

Natasha’s eyes widened. "How?"

"I’m just going to initiate the warp drive now, that’s all. There’s enough power for a parsec. We don’t even need that much."

"A warp drive? In an asteroid field?" The High Commander stared at the pilot.

"There isn’t another dangerous asteroid for miles."

"One thousand four hundred fifty-seven," Luciem added.

"We need one four fifty-five to achieve warp," Natasha said, a growl rising in her throat.

"It can be done." Seth began the process.

"Two miles, Seth!?" High Commander Shim gritted his teeth. "The odds are phenomenal!"

"You’re exaggerating." The ship began to speed up.

Natasha glanced upwards. "Luciem, override."

"Er…I can’t."

"You can’t?"

"I disabled my override functions at the beginning of the voyage. It was your request."

Fletcher glanced at his second-in-command. "Excuse me?"

Commander Kira groaned. "He was constantly changing the shower temperature."

"Why you like taking cold showers is beyond me," the LCM stated. "And I’m…that is, I was…the latest computer model ever made. Anyway, she yelled at me so hard, I just had to comply. From now on, I only act under orders."

"Okay, Luciem," Shim said. "Stop the warp drive. That’s an order."

"No, Luciem, don’t!" Seth yelled.

"It doesn’t matter anyway," the computer said. "Warp drive can’t be tampered with after the order’s given."

The intercom transmitted Juma’s voice. "Is it just me, Seth, or did the ship just speed up?"

 

 

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Copyright © 2002 Phil V Infinite
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