Logged On Forever (Incomplete) Greg Edwin Hawes was born at St. Rose Dominican Hospital in Henderson, Nevada on October 14, 2001. Although gifted with both mathematical genius and creativity, the boy lacked physical and social talents. To be plain, Greg never grew past 5’3”, wore glasses thicker than cardboard from the time he was 4 years old and was cursed with one leg a full inch longer than his other. All this might have been overlooked if it weren’t for his stutter, strange sense of humor and shyness. When people saw Greg, they knew instantly that he wasn’t like everyone else... From kindergarten on through 6th grade he was harassed, teased and constantly humiliated. From 7th grade until he dropped out, he was the kid no one would talk to but everyone whispered about. Like so many children and teens in the early 2000’s, Greg found an escape... The internet. No one could hear his high pitched voice stuttering out his brilliant ideas or see his gray eyes blurred by thick spectacles as the brain behind them thought of things no one else had before. Online, he was just Drakaar and his friends loved him for his mind not all the other physical traits that got in his way. By the time Drakaar was 18, he was driving long distances to meet his online friends in real life locations. He didn’t do it for fun or because he in any way needed social interactions outside of what he could read on his computer screen... He was doing it because he and his friends had a dream. They had to work together in real life to complete it. On January 24, 2019, Drakaar typed in his journal, “The future’s online. Someday we won’t have to get offline to go to work or eat or piss or any of that shit. L.O.F’s my future and he’s going to live the life I wish I could’ve lived.” By 3048, Drakaar’s project L.O.F. was funded in secret by the United Nations. With environmental problems closing in on the planet, the elite few who knew about or were involved in L.O.F. saw it as the only possible solution. November 15, 3048 Diab_the_Bad: got booted...sorry! ClumsyUnicorn: np Heidi_the_social_misfit: what up, all? tamare_grey_wolf: not much, heidi, how bout you? One_Michael_89 joined the room. ClumsyUnicorn yawns ClumsyUnicorn: I’m bored. Diab_the_Bad: me too :( Drakaar joined the room. ElizabethNC17: if u did that I’d have to be pissed!!! Heidi_the_social_misfit: I’m decent... One_Michael_89 left the room. chris973_3048 joined the room. ClumsyUnicorn: mom’s calling ClumsyUnicorn: gotta go! Diab_the_Bad: bye uni! ClumsyUnicorn left the room. Jolie Rogers, screen name ClumsyUnicorn, logged out of the AOL-GeocitiesYahoo! Sci-fi & Fantasy chatroom. She closed her Microsoft Internet Explorer 3000 window and looked away from the computer screen. She blinked her eyes a few times but still saw only dark shadows of the room around her. “Goddammit Jolie!!! Answer me!” Her mom was still yelling for her. The room was dark with only a line of light coming in through the curtain and falling across Jolie’s bed. Her eyes could see the light but were blind to everything in the darkness because of the vast amount of time she’d spent staring into the brightness of the computer screen. Her legs were clumsy from misuse and as she tried to stand, Jolie found herself tripping over her own chair. “If you don’t fuckin go to school one day this week Jolie, so help you God,” her mom threatened as she pushed through the half closed door into the dark room. In response, Jolie’s fingers started to type, “S-o-r-r-y m-o-m-, I j-u-s-t f-o-r-g-o-t, I-’-l-l g-o t-o-d-a-y” but then she remembered that her hands weren’t on the keyboard and her mom wasn’t online. “What the hell are you doing on the floor??? Jolie Anne Rogers, I’m going to take that goddamn computer away and I don’t care how much you cry this time!” Frantically Jolie searched for her voice and found it just in time. “Mom, no, it’s okay. I was about to go. I’ll get dressed right now.” The words seemed to echo out into the room and hang in the air as Jolie tried to decide if her voice sounded natural. How long at she been online? A few hours? More than five hours? Days? Shame pushed her to convince her mom at all cost that she hadn’t been immersed in the computer world. Laying on the floor, Jolie squinted her eyes up, trying to see where her mom was standing. There was no fooling Mrs. Rogers. Jolie’s mom knew her daughter wasn’t getting ready to go to school and probably wouldn’t go at all today unless she was absolutely forced. She’d seen her daughter like this before. To be politically correct, Jolie was suffering from “Over-Exposure to Screen and Keyboard” syndrome. Mrs. Rogers just thought of her as a computer head. Jolie could barely make out the slim shadow of her mother as she reached under the desk and unplugged the computer. Instantly, the screen went black, the dim room lights came on and Jolie could discern her mom’s dissaproving eyes glaring down at her. Mrs. Rogers knew the girl couldn’t clearly see anything more than a few feet away from her face and would probably need 10 minutes before she’d be walking steadily. No one could sit and stare at a computer screen for as long as Jolie probably had without suffering severe physical consequences. Her mom shook her head helplessly and walked out of the room. Embarrasement stung in Jolie’s eyes as she watched her beautiful mother leave. All she could think was, Shit, is there ever a time when mom’s hair and make-up aren’t done perfectly? Doesn’t the woman ever sleep? A command followed, “Go to school, Jolie!!! You’re grounded from that computer for a month and we’re going to see Dr. Bethane tonight!” Jolie lay on the floor for a moment with tears coming to her eyes. I’d rather be dead than go a month without the internet and I hate that therapist. She’s a fucking bitch and doesn’t understand. I’m not adicted... It’s not an illness... I’m not a freak... She sobbed as she searched for her glasses in the eery gray light shining down from the ceiling bulb. Jolie was still crying as she stepped into the shower for her aloted 30 seconds worth of shower water. It wasn’t until she was dressed and standing infront of the aparment door that she finally sniffled in an attempt to pull herself together. It’s only school. It’s only a month away from all my friends. It’s only a stupid therapist. She thought as she walked down the corridor towards the bus stop and towards a crowd of people. An image of herself in the mirror as she’d gotten out of the shower that morning haunted her mind. Her skin fell in rolls from her shoulders to waist. Her arms and legs were stubby chunks of fat with joints only occasionally dividing it. Her face was chubby and freckled and disgusting. She was a beast and well aware of it. She knew it more certainly than ever as the people at the bus stop glanced at her. Their looks stayed with her on the bus ride, during the walk to school and even as she entered the decrepit building. Only four rooms and a hall of the huge school were used. The rest of the building was left unheated, unlighted and unmaintained, to collapse if it were God’s will. Each classroom held about 50 students, which meant 100 eyes on Jolie as she entered the room for 13-16 year olds. She saw in the nonchalant little faces that they knew who she was. It was Jolie Rogers, the girl who never came to school because she stayed home to play online. Everyone knew how to spot a cyber junky, a computer head. The pale skin, uneasiness and general unhealthy appearance made Jolie obviously different from everyone there except a few others sitting in the corner. She made her way towards them and slide down to the floor. There were no desks in urban schools and even in rural schools it was rare to have enough for the older grades. They were a sullen group of losers who never attempted to socialize with each other or anyone else. School was hang time. School was a dream world. School was just something that fell between sleeping and onlining. The teacher was talking, discussing the United Nations representative elections. The thin boy beside Jolie glanced up and then flung his eyes back down to the floor as he noticed Jolie looking at him. The boy seemed like a large, hairless mouse. The girl on Jolie’s other side could pass for a pale pink baby rhinoceros. It was funny but not even the slightest smile played across Jolie’s acne infested face. Instead her hands, laying in her lap, moved in a barely noticeable way as they spelled out “LOL!” At one point in time, the letters had stood for “laughing out loud” but to Jolie, lol was a word in itself. It meant “hahaha, that’s funny.” “Jolie Rogers,” the teacher’s voice cracked through Jolie’s thoughts and Jolie’s head shot up. Surely if the teacher had known which girl Jolie Rogers was, he wouldn’t have called on her, but he hadn’t known. He was just going down the class list, alphabetically calling on people. “Jolie Rogers? Not here, again?” The man pushed his glasses up on his nose and looked around the room. “No...” It shocked Jolie to hear her own voice and see the heads turn to examine her. “I’m here.” Besides the 50 heads turned blankly towards her, the teacher himself was assessing her condition and probably wishing he hadn’t bothered her. Futilely, he asked the question. “Good then, what do you have for number 8?” Questions were on the dry erase board but Jolie’s eyes were too adjusted to staring at a computer screen to see as far away as the board. She swallowed and could find no courage to speak again as the eyes bore down on her. “It’s asking which country was the second to become an official nation under the United Nation’s government?” Jolie swallowed. She knew this. “England.” The teacher nodded without letting the glare of dissaproval soften for even a moment. He then continued on with his lessons and left Jolie to her misery. The school day floated by for another few hours before she was allowed to return home. Stupid old school house. It costs more to heat it than the education anyone gets there is worth...
Copyright © 2000 Ann Durden |