Daemons
Randall Barfield

 

This piece of writing is about demons. Which demons? All of us have one or some demons inside us. They are the negative aspects of our beings that we either cannot control or simply have a hard time controlling. For instance, gambling and its hard-to-quench thirst can be someone's sole and very personal demon. Promiscuity or obsessive thoughts of sex can be another demon. And so on. Some people are super secretive and never ever allow their demon or demons to become known or imagined by others. It could be(though quite hard to believe) that there are a few souls on this earth who truly have NO single demon. They are really and truly as sane, content, good, transparent and noble as the Andy Griffith some us remember as sheriff of "Mayberry" or the great and hugely-loved Roy Rogers playing himself, the cowboy. For example, haven't most of us perceived in our readings and chats that Einstein was a lousy husband or that Bing Crosby(not Bill) could have been a better father? You get the picture and yes, such reasoning applies to all of us. Better fathers, brothers, husbands, sons, daughters, aunts,uncles, etc. Even better cousins, why not! However, we are merciless with our brothers and neighbors. Sharp-toothed tigers! They have demons we DO NOT and we're not gonna let them forget it! And we don't plan to have their demons either. We'll just keep our own, thank you. But we don't want them to forget that they have a gambling problem and we don't. No way. Or that they are oversexed and we aren't. We get snooty. We are proud. We might be sleeping with the boss's wife or husband(inside or outside our minds)but we're still rungs better than that less-than-desirable neighbor down the street with the questionable credit rating and less-than-immaculately-dressed kids. (We try to cool down little Johnnie's or Suzie's desire to play with them.) How do I insert that blank line somewhere along here to divide paragraphs? I promise to study the "quick editing tips" soon. But now I think the reader has basically gotten the picture, my message or what have you. I'd like to see us more understanding, more considerate. I'd like for us all to realize that while it's true we don't have a particular or specific demon one can put his finger on, we have another one or ones. So why is our head so high in those clouds? Yes, we need to love ourselves and be confident and have a decent sense of self-worth, but how these conditions become abused so often! How arrogant some of us become! We want to be gods, not mortals. Hallelujah that despite multitudes of arrogant beings there are also multitudes of God-fearing ones! Thanks for reading. To be continued.
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Here, Daemons is continued. This is Part II. Let's talk about X and his biggest demon--porn. He really has to fight the urge to spend a lot of time with it. And now with Internet, of course, it's much more available than in years past. One thing X has expressed is that porn gets him excited but he has no real outlet for that excitement(for more reasons than one). This situation can often result in frustration and exasperation. So what is X to do? That's just one of the reasons it's better for him to avoid and/or shun porn as much as possible. It's not ENTIRELY possible because he knows it's there on the Net and he is only human, after all. But he tries and actually does quite well with that effort. Another thing about the demon porn--a serious drawback, of course--is that it isn't exactly what you'd consider "uplifting." By that I mean who is going to be helped by it? Can he be seen navigating through it without embarrassment? I think not. Of course, he has a life and a right to live his life. He has a right to privacy. But he also wants to be well-thought-of. Who's going to think well of him if they know he's looking at porn? Basically, other porn freaks/fans(or worse). Not exactly Mr. or Mrs. Typical America. I think we are safe in saying that. But then, in keeping with what we see mentioned in Part I, what demon or demons have those Mr's. and Mistresses America? If one of them isn't porn then that's great! But what is one of them? What are two of them? They're not telling, but we know THEY are THERE, don't we? We know that they exist. Yeah, of course. So, now we talk about fighting the demons. The best way involves strategy. X stays away from porn mostly by working a lot, spending time with the family(not alone so much)and by not putting his name in that process that proves he's over 18(which would result in many more pictures and movies he could "pant" over). There are other moves as well but the reader gets the picture. Take another example: What is a strategy the alcoholic must employ? One, of course, is not to enter bars. One is to avoid so-called cocktail parties. Another is not having alcoholic beverages in his or her home. And so on. You see? There are multiple strategies for every demon. They must be discovered then employed. Someone can help a person discover the strategies he or she desperately needs. The ONE upstairs, of course, is the Creator of strategies and all things, so, He is the Strategy of Strategies, right? THAT STRATEGY, combined with lesser strategies, should do the trick. Then you're on the road to tranquility and easier breathing. Try it and you'll see. End of Part II. To be continued. ������
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Part III is about Y. We're going to say she/he because I know several people who fit Y's profile. Y's demon is lying. Y is a chronic liar. Here the listener's anger sometimes rears its head because we are told the most outrageous lies and we think: What or who does this person(liar) take me for? Do I seem so dumb? Do they think I actually believe all of those lies they are telling me? Of course, if the person is someone you love, then you must go easier on that person than you would someone else. The sad thing is that the chronic liar either never looks for professional help or delays such a search unmercifully. Of course, nothing is wrong at all with professional help. It should and often can be combined with divine help. However, it should never be at the expense of divine help. Why do liars lie? Is there one reason or are there a lot of them? I suspect there is more than one reason. Most likely many items come into play such as self-esteem; a need to impress others favorably; envy which leads to a feeling of competitiveness; the "dreamer" who may have trouble with certain realities, and so on. Nevertheless, in chronic form it is a sickness, therefore,here, a demon. How can we help the liar? By loving her or him, same as we love others who aren't, but this doesn't mean you must listen to whatever cock and bull story they can devise. You are in charge of your time(another article here) and no one else, so, what you decide to listen to and what not to listen to is your business. Nuff said for Part III. To be continued.
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This demon, in Part 4, is gluttony or overeating. It is a demon on the increase, especially in developed and/or rich countries, although not limited to those, of course. The person who harbors this unpleasant demon is ALWAYS thinking about FOOD. Many times at the expense of other things s/he should actually be thinking about. This victim of overeating is planning the next meal before the current one has even ended. S/he just can't help it. They have an addiction--obsession--call it what you will. They need some kind of help although quite often they don't as much as even hint at their realization of such a need. They are like the alcoholic--they cannot control themselves alone. Must they hit the absolute bottom(as in abject despair)before they decide to seek some kind of help? These are victims you do not often see eating. Whenever there is a crowd of people around, they usually say they are not hungry and only nibble on something, if that. Then why are they fat? Cause they don't nibble later, at home, when and where no one will comment or be able to comment on their eating habits! Those kinds of comments are like painful knives piercing these victims. All too often the ones commenting are cruel or unconsiderate jerks themselves. Haven't we already talked about how they have their own demons, albeit of a different nature? Of course. This strong urge or tendency to overeat is one of the saddest of the different demons. EVERYONE wants to look good, decent. EVERYONE wants acceptance, love, friends. Still, we must acknowledge that even these "victims" are sometimes themselves cruel or unconsiderate. How? One way is by weighing 300 pounds or so when they have a spouse who weighs less than half that total and when they themselves, upon marriage, weighed something near the proper figure for them on the height-weight chart. They just stopped caring somewhere along the way. They stopped considering their spouse, too. They stopped caring very much about their health as well. It isn't really fair to expect the 125-pound or 175-pound spouse to go walking with these 300-pound-plus sad creatures holding hands in the local mall or any other public place. I know it isn't. Solutions for the overeater can be found in my article at Storymania titled "Blubber, Blubber..." Thanks for reading. To be continued.
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Paragraph 5's demon is one that really gets me, one that I find hard not to try and analyze and/or comment on. It is PRETENSE where one's socioeconomic position is concerned. In other words, PRETENDING to be someone or something socially far from that which we truly are. Pretending to have economic resources(money in the bank, for instance) that we don't(as if others in the community in which we live didn't know). "John or Jane Doe say they have all this money, so why do they drive a cheap Ford, mom?" What does mom answer? "Don't believe everything you hear, honey. You'll learn that in time." We should also not believe everything we see. I've heard of parents RENTING a fancy car for a day or two just to make a few well-programmed stops or to run a few errands so that others would see them driving such a vehicle. One of the stops included picking up little Johnny's report card at his private school where his parents had consistently fallen behind in their monthly tuition payments! I say come on! That's just too much, but it happens(like the bumper sticker says, Shit happens). If you'll pardon my occasional vulgarity. I like being a little vulgar. Sorry if it offends you. I guess you can go read elsewhere but please don't, okay? Anyway, to end this paragraph, why do we have to pretend? Is it an inability to accept reality(which is something like how we see ourselves and what is really happening)? I suspect this is fairly close to the truth of the matter. I also feel all this pretense will never provide the solutions in life that are needed. I feel pretense and its ramifications ADD to life's problems and difficulties. Thanks for reading. To be continued.
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Paragraph 6's demons are greed and envy. All these demons are similar to the deadly sins(7?)and/or cardinal sins but these latter(deadly and cardinal) are fewer and the former(demons in general) are far more numerous. That's why I will stop soon and discuss no more demons, but my point will have been made. The reader will have gotten the message. Why be so long-winded anyway, or should I say long-lettered? Here, when we mention greed we mean monetary greed. I suppose there is greed for non-monetary items. The greedy person thinks of her/himself first. Almost never anyone else. This person cannot get enough money. S/he is close to being a miser. They don't spend money, mind you, for there are people who say they love money but spend it like crazy. They don't really love MONEY, they love SPENDING money! There's a lot of difference. The real, authentic miser loves her/his money, so spends as little as humanly and physically possible(and becomes one of the major shareholders of the bank). Remember the old woman in the Guiness Book of Records who ate her oatmeal raw(nowadays a good health practice) in order to avoid heating up the old stove. Later, her son or a son of hers lost a leg or some limb because she was too tight to spend the money on a doctor or an ambulance for him. Money that existed abundantly at the moment in the bank! I forgot how many millions she left at her death, but anyway, the reader gets the picture. She was truly a miser, a greedy person. Some greedy people live in luxury and others don't. I suspect the TRULY-MISERLY greedy would choose a fatter bank account over living in so-called luxury. Then there is envy. The envious person can rarely be happy because s/he is always resentful of another person for what that person may possess(materially and otherwise). The envious person cannot see what talents or advantages she/he possesses or has due to that envy. We always want something we either do not possess or cannot possess. Isn't that often right? Even me, your writer right here in this spot. I'd like to be 7th-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong this week, why not? The solutions are in the strategies. First, greedy and envious people must see that that is what they are--that that is the demon or one of the demons they possess! Once they see it and realize they are uncomfortable with such a life(much like the alcoholic who is ready--FINALLY!--to change), then they can begin to employ the strategies for permanent solutions. I hope this makes sense. Again, thanks for reading.
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W and Z's demon is egocentricity or self-centeredness. One is a man and the other is a woman. They just cannot identify very strongly with the problems of others. Everything gets back soon to Me, Me and Me! They don't want to listen to others' problems. They want you to listen to THEIR problems, and when that's done, the conversation or visit is practically over. The world revolves around how they are affected and they alone--their clothes, their house, their lawyer, their dentist, their children and grandchildren, their aches and pains as well as operations, etc. Me, Me, and Me as I've already mentioned. Do they realize they are like this? I think sometimes they do not, but I think they do on certain days or at certain times during a day. Then why can't they rid themselves of this demon? Do they WANT to rid themselves of this demon? Sometimes I think they do. That they'd give much to be like other people whom they consider "normal". Then I think sometimes they don't. That there is an underlying contentedness and they feel it. They know that if they gave up the demon they wouldn't be themselves: They would be altered, in an altered state. That might be frightening to them. Familiarity is sometimes its own reward and/or comfort. If you can get them to realize they are that way or possess that demon, tell them to let others talk occasionally. Ask others about their families, their dreams, goals, etc. Tell them to make sure they don't get excited while listening to the other person and then go off on a rampage(?) again about themselves, their house, their car, their children, their doctor, their umpteen dozen of other things. Can you try it? Let me know if it works. ������
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Copyright © 2005 Randall Barfield
Published on the World Wide Web by "www.storymania.com"