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Short Stories - Reviews |
Remember (To Remind Me) by R Bennett Okerstrom (7) "I like this! It's different, but very good! I like the punkish aspect to it. You have not lost your touch at all!" -- JM. "Thanks JM! Just a little different than the norm." -- R. Bennett. "very well done!" -- km (michelle). "it was really good! i liked it! keep up the good work!" -- sam. "Great work dude. I might have to recruit you to write for my band." -- Fat B, Hurst , Tx, USA. "You Rock!!! Awesome. I felt your anger lol. Really really good. Keep writing!" -- Chassidy, Holden, LA, US. "Thanks everyone! At first I was thinking that maybe it was too short - but then I reminisced - the best punk songs from the 80's were always under three minutes. Glad you all could feel it." -- R. Bennett. The Last Forgotten Race by Fred Hardy (2) "wow, powerful message...you know I have to ask... what genre?" -- mattie. "hey Mattie,thanks for taking a look at this one .this has a full arrangement written,it runs about 6min 40 seconds, which takes it pretty far away from commercial,the subject matter is also a hard sell ,not much of an audience for this .personnaly I really like this ,this is where I like to write.now to answer your question about genre ,if I had to label this it would have to be in the alternative family but it's not over done with heavy guitars,sorry I can't be more specific but sometimes music is hard to label thanks again ,mattie" -- fh, canada. I Can't Take It (Anymore) by Fred Hardy (2) "i can relate. nice song. a lot of emotions and drama. it's perfect." -- chad naquin. "thanks for the comments on this and I'm sorry you can relate to this .cause this is not a very nice girl,I may make some changes I think the long chorus is way to repetitive" -- fh, canada . She Found Diamonds by Fred Hardy (2) "Awesome. Beautiful. Awesome and beautiful, fh." -- Desi. "thanks Desi,I tried to keep it simple time runs 3;07 ,thanks again for taking the time to comment really appreciated." -- fh, canada. The Problem With Asia by Fred Hardy (4) "I thought this was very good flowed well, but it kind of dragged on towards the end and i wasn't too keen on the chorus. But that's not to put it down, with work i think this could become an excellent piece. " -- John H Pallister. "Thanks John for checking this out and taking the time to comment I really do appeciate this ,this song is complete and just needs the vocal trax put down on it ,this is co written and I will see what we could change ,but the music is fully composed,I looked at the chorus and removed the word problem it sings as well with "the thing about Asia" so if you can let me know if that works better lyricaly.as far as it dragging, when the music is added it runs 3:44 and moves fairly well.the current structure lets me complete the entire story ,so I hope your wrong about that if not were in trouble thanks again for your help." -- fh, canada. "not bad Fred. Haven't been around for a while. Just got done writing a new song myself. first in months. But yeah not bad. I just like a good chorus myself and i'm just not high on the chorus here. but again I haven't heard the music put to it and how it all comes out." -- Jonathon, San Bernardino , CA. "thanks Jonathon for checking this out ,I should probably call this a refrain or a lift instead of chorus.the music was written first so the structure is layed out this way. the music is strong and the peice flows pretty nicely, I agree that a good chorus often is what makes a song any sugestions within the current stucture would be great ,thanks again for taking the time to comment ,look forward to your future songs,have a great evening" -- fh, canada. School Girl Fantasy by Fred Hardy (15) "Is there anything in this life sexier than a hot schoolgirl? I think not! Cool poem!" -- thePratmeister. "thanks for checking this out Pratmeister ,I 'd have to agree with you ,it must be that uniform" -- fh, canada. "this is directed to the comments not the song, probably showing my age but it seems a pretty perverted way to view a young girl. " -- curious. "What, are you a prude or a faggot or something? There is no other way to view young girls!" -- Thepratmeister. "well I guess your right,I'm going to hell. with about 95% of every other guy who would take notice of the girl I described in this song,but in all reality I think I would be more worried about the less then 5% who wouldn't say it.at least to themselves" -- fh, canada. "Well said that man!" -- thePratmeister`. "Well...my 2 cents worth. With things the way they are in the world...it is not encouraging to know that adult men would have such a view as this. Check the sight of missing and exploited children it is full of beautiful teenage girls..." -- mattie. "hey Mattie,this seems to have stirred up some contraversy, I think there is a lot of confusion in what I'm saying.the girl in the song is seventeen her last year of high school.she is not an average teenager and she would not be considered a child . I really think that it would be unlikely that a guy wouldn't take notice of her.and the ones that say they wouldn't notice her are either lying or well whatever I can't see how this is seen as abnormal behavior ,how old are the models in these magazines that blitz the supermarkets or the girls in music industry who have been scouted on their looks since they were very young.I'm not trying to condon such activities but what is ,is what is and thats fact since the dawn of time.have a good evening" -- fh, canada. "Oh, the moralistic handwringing! I'm gonna get my tissues out in a minute. A cute girl is a cute girl. People who try and deny this make me wanna vomit." -- thePratmeister. "fh...the song is really good. Songs have been written from that perspective for years...my comment stems from the reviews already posted, and the idea I suppose. Being the mom of 2 beautiful teenage daughters I don't like the idea of them being seen that way...it's a parent thing I guess. " -- mattie. "hey Mattie I can certainly respect your point of view ,to be honest I couldn't deal with it . I've spent alot of time in the dressing room playing Hockey,and guys are ,well you can figure it out.I can only imagine the stress of two teenage daughters ,have a good evening." -- fh, canada. "Fred, nice song bro. The lyrics are so true. But the girl you are describing, sounds like abit of a slut to me. And Mattie, the longer you ignore the fact that your girls will soon be pulling in bars in 5 years, the more it will hurt to let them go. -Love You Bye." -- Jak Balshaw, UK. "thanks Jax for looking at this ,you mabybe right but the real truth is I see girls like this everday ,beyond the watchful eyes of the parents and I guess it's society that has them appearing this way .I just put it down in a lyric .thanks again for checking it out " -- fh, canada. "fred, i must say. you get a LOT of reviews. i only get like 1 or 2 a song. great song by the way. i'm just at school in my typing class." -- chad naquin. "thanks Chad ,this got alot of review cause it hit a nerve ,I didn't intend it to, just wanted to write something upbeat .so in the end not many of them really had anything to do with the quality of writing .thanks for your time and comments" -- fh. It's A Complicated Life by Fred Hardy (2) "Yes...life is complicated. I always wonder if the tune I put these to is the one the writer would have..." -- mattie. "thanks Mattie for taking a look at this I doubt if the tune you are hearing would be the same as the writer but sometimes if it was layed correctly it could be possible ,right now I have some real meter problems with this and it needs a lot of work thanks for checking this out have a great evening" -- fh, canada. Kerry Me Home by Fred Hardy (3) "Nice write fh...genre? I think I kinda heard this in my head as celtic...maybe because you mentioned bagpipes :)" -- mattie. "thanks for checking this out Mattie I have no music for this yet but I'm hearing this as a staight up rock but it needs to have the pipes in the break and the beginning and the end.thanks again " -- fh, canada. "Thanks to Dr. IBUDU for saving my marriage!!! My names are Mary Hanson, I have been married to my Husband for 7 years, we have 2 kids together and our marriage was wonderful.Am very happy to tell every one my testimony Am sherry from united states,am a nurse, this story of my love life. Another woman had to take my lover away from me and my husband left me and the kids and we have suffered for 2years until i met a post where this man called Dr. IBUDU have helped many people and i decided to give him a reply on his Email if he can help me bring my lover back home and he ask me some information which i send to him and that of my husband and after 48hours as he have told me, i saw a car drove into the house and behold it was my husband and he have come to me and the kids crying and begging for forgiveness and that is why i am happy today He also set my friend free from HIV Dr. IBUDU really make the woman i am today for any one looking for how to get his or her ex back or any problem you are having i advice you Dr. IBUDU is the solution to all problem .You can contact him with this email address: [email protected] or call him on: +2348078467513" -- Mary Hanson, Ca�ada, texas, United States. Amatique Bay by Fred Hardy (2) "how long have you been writing fred? must have been some time now cuz you're really good." -- chad naquin. "not really that long ,some stuff I wrote about ten years ago in school but then life got in the way ,so mostly it's been in the last year and half .thanks for your kind words ." -- fh, canada. ...Only You... by David Baker (1) "I don't suppose you've heard the song of the same title by Portishead. You should." -- Iain Spittles, Cardiff, UK. We Live All Night by Joe Bagtas (1) "That was awesome, I only wish I could have heard it. It's lengthy but I think the repetition really works well. You should definately continue to write and to post! I'm looking foward to reading more. :)" -- Someone. There's Still An Angel Left In You by Tim D Ryan (1) "good stuff tim. seems like you are almost beyond being one of the self-absorbed teens infecting this site, and actually have something to say. a bit less angst would help. hope your "songs" sound as good as they read. This poem startles refreshingly. well done. " -- david namerow. The One by Sam Cheton (1) "hey, sam. great song. I just put on a song that was called the one. but since you already put "The One" I had to change the name. Now it's By Your Side." -- chad naquin. The Night You Died by Karra Fritson (1) "Awesome job Karra! I really liked this. Very good and very heartfelt!" -- Chassidy D, Holden, LA, US. The Day You Dissapeared by Harriet Nicholas (2) "i read your song and i fell in love with it,simply put.i play guitar and i would love to put music to that song.if you could get into contact with me that would be excellent. [email protected] my yahoo messenger is J_MAC1399 my aim is jonnymac8011 and my msn is my email address.if you email me i only request that you put "THE SONG YOU LIKED" in the subject box. your song has such great potential for the type of music i can put with it,i was playing a few different chords with it (wednesday march 1st of 2006 at 2:30 am lol) and i was amazed at the possibilities.so like i said if you could get in touch with me thats excellent because i would also like to have your permission to use this song,and play it at a couple gigs after practising it.im asking for permission because 1-thast the respectable thing to do,and 2- this is your song,it came from your heart because of a feeling that was brought upon you by something unfortunate,i can relate to the song so well,except you know a girl broke my heart not a guy.anyways i hope you are doing better because i can tell by the way your words were written that he really broke your heart in more ways than one,and in a million different peices.well thats enough chit chat out of me for now,i hope to hear back from you soon,sincerely, Jonny P.S.-incase your wondering im 19(going on 20 in july)from rochester ny " -- Jonny, rochester, new york, usa. "Haven't logged on for years. Can see why it's pretty dead. . .glad you liked it Jonny. Have you had any luck with it? I'm working in fashion now and haven't written anything in years. I put a kind of Dolly Parton spin on it when I wrote it - don't know if that was consciously done or not. I even drummed up a melody though it's a bit repetitive.Anyhow, glad you've been able to use it - lemme know when you have a big hit! lol" -- Harriet. The Beat by Sam Chenton (1) "I like the lyrics of this song, it's quite good" -- Chris. See by Chassidy D Collins (1) "Chassidy, have you been in bad relationships? lol. Good job though. I might suggest a bridge or something in your songs. Although all songs don't need or have bridges, so I could be wrong. Just sometimes a bridge can do good or harm to a song. I think you have great potential. Keep it up!!" -- Jonathon Brannon, California. Rise Up by Brandon Grimmett (1) "Job well done Brandon! I like it a lot. very very creative! Awesome" -- Chassidy D Collins, Holden, LA, US. Quite Contary by Daniel Atkinson (1) "I like this alot "A purgetry for the upholsetry for society." this was the best line. What does "ind" mean though? I look forward to reading more " -- John H Pallister. No Sign Of Me by Chassidy D Collins (5) "Chassidy, have you been in bad relationships? lol. Good job though. I might suggest a bridge or something in your songs. Although all songs don't need or have bridges, so I could be wrong. Just sometimes a bridge can do good or harm to a song. I think you have great potential. Keep it up!!" -- Jonathon Brannon, California. "Chassidy, have you been in bad relationships? lol. Good job though. I might suggest a bridge or something in your songs. Although all songs don't need or have bridges, so I could be wrong. Just sometimes a bridge can do good or harm to a song. I think you have great potential. Keep it up!!" -- Jonathon Brannon, California. "Chassidy, have you been in bad relationships? lol. Good job though. I might suggest a bridge or something in your songs. Although all songs don't need or have bridges, so I could be wrong. Just sometimes a bridge can do good or harm to a song. I think you have great potential. Keep it up!!" -- Jonathon Brannon, California. "Chassidy, have you been in bad relationships? lol. Good job though. I might suggest a bridge or something in your songs. Although all songs don't need or have bridges, so I could be wrong. Just sometimes a bridge can do good or harm to a song. I think you have great potential. Keep it up!!" -- Jonathon Brannon, California. "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... My Model by Matthew Mark Gill (5) "its hot and i think its sexy and really good!!!!!" -- layla, buffalo, ny. "Just wondering how one person could write so much pure and unadulterated T-R-A-S-H!!!" -- mat. "Trash This!" -- MMLuke, USA. "I think you're gonna get a big fat check any day now." -- Cedric McClester, New York, NY. "http://MatthewMarkta.blogspot.com Proof Caa UMG and Ashlee and Joe are all crooks Simpsons are wussies" -- MMLuke, USA. My Mistake by Chassidy D Collins (1) "Good job Chassidy!!" -- Jonathon Brannon, California. My Life (2005) by Jonathon Brannon (1) "it is wonderful to see your writtings, they are all very great. some stronger then others, but you are really a nice writter. we look forward to them, keep em commin." -- de, ca, us. Like The Passions Of The Days Of Our Lives, The Young Are The Hopeless (It's Not Over Until The Fat Lady Sings) by Brandon Colcleasure (1) "as good as it is depressing, nice job." -- curious. I Just Need Some Time (To Get Over Me) by Jonathon Brannon (3) "Nice lyrics. Can't place the music for it(jamband guy, so not too familiar w/ Nickelback), but I like the picture your painting with the words." -- Fire Keeper. "nice write Jonathon,really liked the hook ,nice to see you california guys listen to some great canadian music.have a great evening" -- fh, canada. "I really liked it; it was very catchy and creative. Awesome Job!" -- Chassidy, Holden, LA, US. Holding On For Nothing by Chassidy D Collins (2) "Hey Chassidy nice job, i'm sure alot of people can relate.." -- Jonathon Brannon, California. "Thanks for your review. This is very good, it is probably my favorite. I can picturwe it.- Brandon Grimmett, Kannapolis, NC" -- Brandon, Kannapolis, USA, NC. Half Empty by Jonathon Brannon (2) "hey Jonathon ,really liked the verses in this they felt real smooth ,also thought the bridge was pretty good ,I thought the chorus didn't sing as well as the rest of the song I had a bit of trouble with rhyme of see and empty .prob just me and with the right music it may sing real well ,anyhow nice write .have a great evning" -- fh , canada. "Another hit!!! You are so creative. I loved the chorus, and now I know what you're talking about with a bridge adding something to a song. I liked yours. Very good! ttyl" -- Chassidy , Holden, LA, US. Full Spin by Chassidy D Collins (1) "Hey Chassidy, I like this. I think there's something different with this lyric than others i've read on here. Good job. I'm gonna read more. Also, thank you for the review. I really appreciate it." -- Jonathon Brannon, California. Catastrophic (The Finished One) by Kyle Gimpy S Preston (2) "it's really hott.. i like it alot .. kyle's 1 of my good friends if there is to be a new rapper on da go it should be him you gotta meet this guy and get him to rap 4 you ,you'll just love him so much like i do!!" -- kelly hunt, cbs, nl, canada. "This is Kyle "Gimpy S" Preston, my name is Gimp, i did not make this page nor this pathetic rap. www.soundcloud.com/gimp1988 is my real shit" -- Kyle Preston, Fort Mcmurray, Alberta, Canada. April Showers (090787 - 042605) by Chassidy D Collins (1) "very nice Chassidy. Sorry about your friend. Touching. Good to see the bridge....carry on...." -- jonathon Brannon, California. Thorns From Our Dying Love by Amy Anderson (2) "Great song, loved the lyrics and the flow. . .Good work hope to read more of your stuff" -- Samara. "Really good, heartfelt song. If your band demo's this I'd like a copy." -- Fat B. Thank You Jesus by T De Jager (2) "I think...I did not get this..." -- mattie. "Catholics, they have restrictions?" -- Jules. Innocent Child by Sean M Payne (2) "That song was great!All I have to say is kee[ up the good work.By the way,im searching for more songs by you.LOL!" -- Jordan Warrington Isaac, Huntington, WV,, Untited States. "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... 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