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Short Stories - Reviews |
Blood & Wine by Brian C Lebron (7) "excellent work, I like the style and thought put into this piece of work..." -- Sasu. "Very nice. The imagery reminds me of the other piece you wrote. It does have a Morrison feel to it- I think the poem was called Perimeter or stoned immaculate, reminds me of that. By the way have you got a tune for that other piece?" -- Kavya. "thanx for the review mate, luv'd this piece well written and yes it kinda morrison style (legend) well done, (clap clap)..." -- baker. " Thanx for y'all taking the time to read this.I appreciate the good reviews." -- Brian L. "Very well done!I like this style!" -- Kathy. "every poet must respect Jim Morrison. if for nothing else, his range and experimental style. if you are into cool music, check out my friends @ www.redbellyband.com they are from augusta, ga. they are at the cusp of their career, and it is only a matter of time till they hit the national audience. by the way, they do an excellent cover of "When the Music's Over". You can download it for free @ their website along with other originals I think you would like." -- Nick Marshburn. "hey,thanx Nick for the info I'm gonna check it out after I get done here thanks again,man." -- Brian L. Emerging by Dri Cook (6) "Dri, I like this piece alot. One of your best, I think. Not sure about the line "not always flows straight". Maybe "not always flowing straight" would work out better. Just a thought." -- km. "thanks, KM. I do welcome this type of help since I'm not a native English speaker and sometimes I sort of get lost. Here it goes....edited." -- Dri. "Nice one, I especially like the line 'give your wisdom a chance'- how many of us believe we have any wisdom at all! Lots of points to think about in this one, how often do we give ourselves the chance to grow on our own? Good work, but doesn't the butterfly come out of the cocoon?" -- Kavya. "thanks, Kavya. I really believe that the only way to grow is to give birth to ourselves, to become whole, true, no matter the trials, no matter what particular point in time we are. Well, in order to become a beautiful butterfly, we all need to be caterpillars first, don't we?? Thank you for enjoying this one and always feel free to share your thoughts." -- Dri. "nice work dri, loved the ending - the period of mourning is almost over - something to hang on to." -- just a guy. "thanks, JAG. So glad you're back!" -- Dri. I'm A Rose by Dri Cook (3) "Inspiring- the endurance of the human spirit once again! It's quiet but speaks of having gone through something terribly bruising and coming out with your head up. I've never considered the rose as a symbol of resilience- very nice. And good to see your work again after a space- I thought you were missing :O" -- Kavya. "Very well done... Once again a well told story that hurts but you are always coming back on top. Well done!" -- ryan severud. "thank you both, Kavya and Ryan. Always nice to hear from you both. Yes, Kavya, a terribly bruising is the least I can tell about it, but you know, this is life, as I said, storms come and go, the important is to always keep our chin up." -- Dri. For Better And For Worse by Dri Cook (1) "Nice work. yeah, the good ole days where people stayed together and were committed to each other for life...those days are statistically gone. A nice mixture of words to describe an eternal union." -- Brian O Neil. You Were My Light by G N (2) "this is beautiful and truly moves me...you have a gift GN" -- michelle. "nicely done, i'm glad you came to s/m, you're writing what i'm not able to so i'm just pretending it's me. hope you don't mind." -- just a guy. Winter Ode To Keeping Summer Love Alive by Hayley Burdett (1) "Not to shabby... very personal and true. I'm sure "she" enjoyed it plenty. Nice work." -- ryan sverud. Whims Of The Restless by Inchara (2) "Good poetry. duke" -- Duke. "Thanks Duke for your review" -- Inchara. Undertow by Hayley Burdett (1) "you like the beach and the ocean, don't ya?" -- Brian O Neil. Touch Me No More by Erasmus Flynt (3) "Nice job! It was very lyrical!" -- Hayley Burdett. "I don't usually like rhymes but here agia, I think it works well. It's very powerful and seems to be coming from a rather painful place but it looks like you're moving forward. Nice work." -- kavya. "Beautiful!!! In so many ways, it flowed together so perfectly and was about something so true in a lot of peoples lives. Nice seeing you again, always a pleasure." -- Moses M. Constable. Thoughts On Omega Minus by William 'joe' Stover (1) "Good one though I've never seen the beauty in math myself. Well constructed, I especially like the last stanza." -- Kavya. Take Heart by Erasmus Flynt (1) "Very true in so many ways. You had many lines in here that I loved for example: "Giving you tomorrow what you want for today" was great to me. And also "Your today is my yesterday," is true and a very clever line. Thank you so much for everything and listening to me and reading my stuff." -- Moses M. Constable. Rain Poem by Hayley Burdett (1) "a nice poem, Hayley." -- Dri. Rain Dance by Hayley Burdett (1) "This is the purest form of innocence I have ever read. You sum of what being a child is like...the playing in a rain storm..the old folks would look out their windows with scorn....the missing the rawness and the realism of life....being a child is living life and being an adult is regetting it. I loved this poem" -- e. rocco caldwell. Please, Stay! by Dri Cook (4) "That's very poignant. The desperation comes across very well- I think we've all been there, it's a terrible feeling, your life seems to balance on what the other decides. Well done Dri, another piece straight from the heart. Did whoever inspire this stay?" -- Kavya. "that was one of the best written things I have ever read. I relate to that so well. Keep up the good work. I'm a big fan or your writings. :) " -- Victoria, Cincinnati, Ohio, USA. ""Kavya, you have a wonderful perception. My life balanced for a long time on what this person, who inspired not only this piece, but most of my writings so far, decided. I can tell he was a hurricane that broke me into thousands of pieces and walked away from me. If you read my profile you'll understand me better. Most of my pieces talk about my own story. I write, not only because it's a passion, but also to release and to help people out. It is so nice when I get feedbacks, when people tell me they can relate...it is magical. I can tell that writing has brought meaning back into my life. Now I'm getting ready to keep on going, to live this wonderful journey called life. Nice feeling to know I have a fan so far away, Victoria. Hope to never disapoint you. Thank you both. " -- Dri, Sao Paulo, SP, Brazil. "Well keep up the good work and keep writing : )" -- Kavya. On The Other Side Of The Mirror by Hayley Burdett (2) "Hey Harley, check out my " The Other Side Of The Mirror"... (Brion' O Neil) I wrote it fourteen years ago." -- Brian O Neil. "Very nice, I really like this one. I sure wonder where I went...nice choice of words, you've drawn a very simple yet powerful picture. One of your best." -- Kavya. Night Changes by Hayley Burdett (1) "I like this one, nice flow and again vivid imagery. And I can identify with this one, good work." -- Kavya. My Shoes by G N (2) "another good one, keep it up. really liked the second stanza in particular." -- just a guy. "Again, you've really captured a strong human emotion. Loneliness can be cruel. But it can also be healing, if you let it. I'll bet a lot of us have been in your shoes. Great work. I look forward to more." -- michelle. Men In White by Inchara (1) "I liked this I think our policeman should be respected from everyone." -- Bug off. Me, You And A Rainy Day by G N (3) "terrific first effort, heck terrific anyway. poem really grabbed me as we're facing a couple hurricanes and tornadoes, everything is dark and rainy and your poem seems the perfect way to ride it out. " -- just a guy. "Absolutely beautiful, GN. Seems as though you have a natural gift. I'm looking forward to reading more from you. " -- michelle. "Thank you both. I was so nervous posting my first piece. I look forward to posting more and also learning more from you guys. " -- GN. Lust For A Dead Memory by Hayley Burdett (2) "I like this piece very much...just not the last line. Its a deep poem...the last line takes that feeling away. Just my opinion." -- km. "Good one, I like the way it's constructed. I have to agree with KM though, the last line seems to jar a bit, unless you wanted it that way." -- Kavya. Love Or Hate by Lucy Midnight (1) "That's a sad one. You know what they say, the heart is a lonely hunter." -- Kavya. Love Letter, Just Trash It by Hayley Burdett (1) "this is a very nice one. i like it a lot. i used to wrote love letters but never send them. those letters still fill my drawer" -- Akira NJ. Independence by Inchara (1) "Corruption, brain-drain, bollywood- things are at their best and worst. Jai hind!" -- Kavya. I'm Your Friend by Dri Cook (2) "The world would be a better place if we could all have friends like that. Did you write it for someone in particular? If you did, they are very lucky. Nice work." -- Kavya. "a nice dedicated piece to your siblings, very heart rendering." -- Brian O Neil. Hit And Miss by Tim D Ryan (1) "Nice, I like that line dreams are for stars." -- Kavya. Heartless Love by Dri Cook (5) "Nice, obviously written with alot of feeling. Very sad and poignant too. We all need to decide when we want the pain to stop and the forgiveness to begin- I think you've done that, it's the first step to healing. You know what they say, if it's not one thing, it's your mother! ;)" -- Kavya. "thank you, Kavya. I surely enjoy your feedbacks. Yes, the healing does start with forgiveness, always! Hope this poem helps other people that, like me, live without knowing the love of a mother." -- Dri. "That was written with such emotion! Well done. " -- Hayley Burdett. "what a positive thinking in the end. some people would only thought about taking a revenge and some people would surely turn into a physco maniac without mother's love. but it is a good to wish someone goodness in life instead of wishing they die" -- Akira NJ. "Nobody is bad for free, Akira. We should be more understanding towards people, more forgiving. That's why there is so much hate in the world. TRUE LOVE does not necessarily means that you need to be around the ones who hurt you but to always be there with a hand, if they ever need you. TRUE LOVE is something divine, that goes beyond the human ability to love and only with the help of God will be able to make it. Thanks Hayley and Akira. " -- Dri. Ghostly Figures by P J Francis (1) "Well done... Repetition wasn't over used and suited the poem well. Tad bit creepy... Looking forward to reading your other submition." -- ryan seveud. Forever Blue by Mungo Faust (1) "terrific and just might be the way it will go." -- just a guy. Enter At Your Own Risk by Mungo Faust (2) "Wowzers... damn dark! I loved it. The inner working of the mind are brilliant... kind of reminded me of the movie American Psycho. Great work." -- ryan severud. "dark it is but i liked it a lot. i think we all have a bit of this lurking about. nicely done." -- just a guy. Dusty Blonde by Hayley Burdett (1) "This is a great piece, it could be a song. Some really brilliant lines in there. Simple but almost painful with that love you have for someone who doesn't see it yet- whoever inspired it, I hope they feel it. Btw, you should really try putting a tune to it, 1 acoustic guitar is all you need I think." -- Kavya. Doomed To Be Free And Fanciful by Rae (1) "sad isn't it that writing seems to come easier from sorrow. hard to think sadness is so much more a powerful feeling that happiness. that can't be it, can it? hope this new one works out for you." -- just a guy. Divine Acceptance by Dri Cook (2) "Well, whoever you were not writing that for, it's good. I call it the place in between personally- where there is nothing and no one and it's a time to reflect I guess. I think it's great that you can still honestly talk about your pain and still be positive- keep it up Dri!" -- Kavya. "thanks, Kavya, again you went straight to the target...it is, indeed, a time to reflect, to grow." -- Dri. Deep Anguish by Inchara (2) "I guess that's what we all want. An honest and simple piece but it gets the point across." -- Kavya. "Thanks Kavya. Iam happy that you could relate to it." -- Inchara. Daisy Chains by Hayley Burdett (1) "dO YOU KNOW WHAT A "DAISY CHAIN" IS?" -- Brian O Neil. Coming Of Fall by Hayley Burdett (2) "nice imagery, I think you've used the oak tree in another piece of your haven't you?" -- Kavya. "Very Robert Frost. Great poem." -- La Longue Carabine. Butterfly, Could I Borrow Your Wings? by Dri Cook (3) "Well done, excellent pictures and form...keep on keepin' on." -- Brian O Neil. "Nice, sweet piece. Nice imagery too, good work." -- Kavya. "thank you both! Glad you like it." -- Dri. Black Hole by Hayley Burdett (1) "This one is painful and sad. Great imagery again- nothing is ever as easy as we think it will be is it?" -- Kavya. Beach Memoir Of Unrequited Love by Hayley Burdett (2) "That about sums it up." -- Brian O Neil. "No kidding- nice work. Can't help but sigh when you read it." -- Kavya. Beach Love Found In Cafeteria by Hayley Burdett (1) "This poem is off the chains keep writing poetry and I will keep readinmg" -- Dommaniq Durant, newark, new jersey, 07108. As The Stars Streak By by Patrick Collins (1) "very nice!" -- Dri. A Word by Stickysweet (3) "Very nice, good choice of words, well-constructed. It is very vivid- you have brought out that feeling of helplessness and love in blue very well. Good work." -- Kavya. "I absolutely LOVE this piece. I printed it out to save. Looking forward to more. :)" -- km. "eeriely reminiscent of another writer, but i guess we all have a twin out there somewhere. terrific piece. momentary pleasures and expected pain can make a lifetime of memories. " -- just a guy. A Sequence Of Events That Although Accidental Seems To Have Been Planned Or Arranged. by Vyacheslav Yampolsky (4) "2 things. Isn't that 4 words and huh? I'm sorry I didn't get this one at all. I like the title though." -- Kavya. "Hahahaha, wow! That is the best poem i have ever read!" -- La Longue Carabine . "Hmmm..." -- Robert A Ferguson. "Wow I actually understand that, this is a miracle...lol" -- Alla. 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