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Short Stories - Reviews |
Love Songs For Darcy by James Eichenlaub (2) "What a beautiful gift to give her... I love it." -- Kathy B. "This is very sweet. I do hope you've shared it with your daughter. " -- Molly B. Courage by M Q Walters (8) "*****I thought this was good, not overdone. The wording was right on and so was the rhythmn" -- d donely. "Thanx DD I always appreciate your taking time to read and post reviews of my work :-)" -- mattie. "I also thought this was good. Simple but effective." -- Eric Richards. "Thank you Eric" -- mattie. "A most pleasing morsel of a poem ; short, sweet and succinct, and needing no further elaboration. Skillfully focussed. Well done !" -- Harvey Kennett. "Thank you Harvey for a wonderful review" -- mattie. "Sometimes it takes me a lot of courage to carry on and wipe away mt tears as well.Nice poem." -- David D. "Thank you David...always have courage!" -- mattie. Iraq Attack Part4 by Stuart Eric Longridge (8) "Fucken Great." -- Bridget. "Bridget Rocks! Stuart Rocks! Sonno pazzi questi Italiani!" -- Jezza, London, UK. "This is the most poorly written of your series of bullshit. You're losing your touch of making me puke. " -- Nikolai Khabibulin. "I agree. Although I don't agree with YOU Stu, atleast the others were written better than this piece of crap. By the way, what do you think about the Hamas? Are you in love with them too?" -- USMC01. "To Nikolai ,i dont care if you puke or shit your pants ,you sound like a closed minded spunk monkey to me,dont worry about whats written,you just dont get it,you never will,its not your fault ,you were just born an un-evolved ignorant simian,as i said dont worry...And to Mr USMCO1 DONT BE SILLY!!" -- Stu the writer, Belfast. "So, the US isn't behind what the Hamas are doing? We must be by your calculations that we are with Usama and Saddam. What about North Korea? Did we make their nukes for them so they can put on this whole show for the world? The India/Pakistan issue? The US is funding both sides of that too I bet!" -- USMC01. "When are some people in the world going to realize that their governments do not represent them in any way,you s have just been conditioned and brainwashed to believe that this genocide of countries is justified,i suppose you think a chip in your arm is a swell idea,by the way some people think i would take a wild guess that a chip was inserted at birth." -- Stu the writer, Belfast. "Who sold these countries so-called machine tools?Eh!and what were these tools used for?Oh!wake up time." -- stu, Belfast. Iraq Attack Part 5 by Stuart Eric Longridge (13) "This part is AWESOME...... Mars got brighter in our sky our fate now is so precarious He is welcoming Nibiru as earth now can sense Aquarius The talk of another planet most will find to be hilarious Lets hope this cycling earthly brother isn�t here to bury us Our mother is about to move and wake up from the dark She is shedding like a lizard like a tree would loose its bark Our history wiped by ignorance shows how Nibiru leaves its mark So ill leave you with a game to keep one eye on Yellowstone Park� But the rest..." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "I read part 4 and now this? Do you even remember a thing called WWII when the USA had to come and save your pathetic Euro asses from Hitler? Nice gratitude. Wait....didn't we save you in WWI also? I believe we did. " -- Nikolai Khabibulin. "Ha ha our commie friend has slithered out of his hole again,right lets start with the reality of American corporations (the same ones )funding Hitler and the allies at the same time in ww11.Oh! and just at the last minute DA!DA!DA! HERE COMES THE GREAT SAVIORS OF THE EARTH.Quite conveinient we just show our pathetic armies face at the last minute when most of the real fighting is done,and you say this happened in the first war also.DA!DA!DA!LIKE THE COPS AT THE END OF EVERY FUKING MOVIE WE EVER MAKE,(TWAT!)DONT YOU SEE THE CONNECTION?ok!look at the Veitnam war ,we were shit,and we cant even kill the enemy in the Gulf without killing our supremely harder and higher trained allies.You are what makes everything in this great world fuking shit,i bet your a wrestling fan WATCH BILL HICKS YOU fuking FAT MORON" -- Texas Tom , The land of the free. "Tom, why don't you go stand on the shore in Galveston and await the next hurricane so it can ease your pain for you. If you don't like living here....leave! Bush should have made a law about guys like you before he left." -- USMC01. "Ive said before that i dont live in the states, i refuse to live within the great illusion of Hollywood.You know what,until i got myself out of America and to other shores ,i thought we really were the great keepers of the earth ,respected by every nation for our advances and caring natures ,but it couldnt be further from the truth,as you look back and see we are the biggest bunch of brainwashed idiots ,with no minds of our own. all of our media is owned by the same people and they feed us 24hrs of the same shit to make us think in the correct way so we follow and dont think to question their most obvious blatant lies.God !!and if you still havnt caught on to Bush and his fuking most obvious war mongering then i quess we really are doomed,people here in England have seen through Blairs tripe,and its just a matter of time before they turn on us.You know the communists of Russia abused their people overtly for everyone to see,while the states do it covertly so we think that no thing is wrong so think about this,THOSE WHO BELIEVE THEY ARE FREE ARE BOUND BY THE STRONGEST CAGE.nano!nano!morons " -- Texas Tom, Land of the free. "Thanks Tom .but i just want to mention the power blackout which has just happened in London,dont you think its a coincidence this being just after America?So what is happening?I suggest you look up about the Philidelphia experiment which took place in 1943, and the Montauk project which happened in 1983 and to two latest power surges in two of the main places of the world in 2003,do you see the connection?(look at the dates) ,Well if not go back to sleep cause you are of no help anyway." -- Stu the writer, Belfast. "Oh! and people while your at it get of your fat asses and check alternative news sources,instead of the shite which your being spoonfed..." -- Stu the writer, Belfast. "Texas Tom, Land of the free. Hmm. That suggests you live in TEXAS not England. If you are so proud of the Lone Star State why aren't you there? I loved San Antonio the short time I was there. Why would you leave and go to England? By the way, Tony Blair is the best thing that's happened to England since Churchill." -- USMC01. "The article above is farcical. If media accounts have been rigged I want definitive proof it is so, not just the "enemy" saying it is so, because I am already led to believe he is the enemy, so why should I trust his word? Then the article goes onto talk about "space-brothers" and just loses all credibility for a serious reader." -- Boondock Saints. "You know ,if you want definitive proof if accounts have been rigged ,then make a fukin effort and go and spend a bit of your tv time trying to find the truth,and stop whining here.And if you still havnt realized we are not alone in the vast expanses of space,well!i know now where you are coming from. " -- Stu the writer, Belfast. "Hello, I am Neep from the planet Qxxyty. Take me to your leader." -- Neep. "Welcome my space-brother!" -- Stu the writer, Belfast. "I dont think its a very good idea to take Neep to our leader." -- Bridget. Thunder For Sale by Buxton (4) "cool poem, loved the flow,style, and cooridination of the words and metaphors. Keep it up.:" -- tOm bOmb. "I liked your peom, except the last line, l find it insulting. you should respect God." -- Amy, hayes, England. "Thanks guys.. 'I should respect God?'.. Respect is something earned Amy, God has no reason to be respected by me and I him. Sometimes it hard to see why people are so gratefull for the life they have and devote themselves to God (a myth)." -- Buxton. "Amy, I don't think Buxton is actually wanting to physically slap god. He is wanting to slap peoples perception of god, which we can all relate to. I wish there more Buxtons to give god a slap ;) lol" -- Forbidden Poet, Glasgow, Scotland. Mr. Jacobs by M Q Walters (2) "I to hope that Mr.Jacobs returned to his garden when he passed.This is a very touching poem and it makes me feel that you're a compasionate and caring person." -- David D. "Thank you David...not enough compassion in the world today :)" -- mattie. Hours by August Nyghts (1) "Beautiful!" -- Luis Felipe Moura, Belo Horizonte, MG, Brazil. Betrayed by Tessa (4) "Nice work Tessa. It sounds like this person was never your friend to begin with. Perhaps you may have overlooked that because of your own loyalty?" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Let's just say that sometimes people don't think about others or the consequences of their actions... And sometimes friendships just need to end when a friend is more damaging/hurtful than anything else and change is impossible. " -- Tessa. "I truly hope that since you wrote this piece you've found a freind who treats you much nicer. I'm sorry that the friend you write about in this piece hurt but still i enjoyed the poem." -- David Daniels. "I actually reconciled with her for a day... and she's still not right... Very sad... But I'm glad I've moved on." -- Tessa. -Anger- by Karina Lizet Perez (3) "I don't mean to be rude here but I think you and your friends have some issues" -- Steven. "SO!!! Who gives a Damn!!! ahhah" -- Karina. "A very interesting poem..... Not the "sweet girl", but the bitch who is mad...lol I like it a lot." -- John Goedhart, Amserdam, NH, Holland. Yield by Nikky Epperly (1) "This flowed nicely...good work:)" -- mattie. Why Dream by M Q Walters (4) "RBO is wrong about dreams. In fact, he is wrong about a lot of things. Nice work though." -- Chris. "Thanx Chris...but...perhaps dreams are only temporary" -- mattie. "i thought it was beautiful in many was even though it was said in few words. i've read some of your other poems, and i like what i've read. you are a wonderful writer." -- Carla, Washington st.. "Thank you Carla...do post here as well?" -- mattie. Waiting With Open Arms For You by Nikky Epperly (1) "very nice Nikky :)" -- mattie. The Works Of A Mind Distraught... by Reagan Rothe (4) "Incredible, Brilliant!!! I think I am going crazy from readin it; freakin' awesome!!!" -- Phil H, Orlando, TX, USA. "Stay hot!!! Another classical poem with harsh, destructing words that bring out the most in the hell-like tale!" -- JJ, The Miss. "I like how you talk about how anger distrauts people because that is true. And how that i child will pick on bad habits and do the same thing as they see because they will think it is ok" -- lance neuamnn, college station, TX, US. "Ditto... I hate reviews, maybe I read more of you stuff!" -- bbbobbby, Everywhere , In, The World. The Voyage by Harvey Kennett (1) "Very few people can write about a wide variety of subjects in different writing styles. Yet Harvey seems to possess this rare gift. I always find myself looking for his new works, whenever I visit Storymania." -- Luis Felipe Moura. The Return by Christopher Syrett (1) "Absolutely brilliant! I know exactly how you must have felt. It happened to me once with an ex-girlfriend. I wish I could've sent her this poem at the time! Keep on writing!" -- Luis Felipe Moura, Belo Horizonte, MG, Brazil. Taking Control Of What Is Mine by Rae (1) "Very nice, simple, yet powerful..." -- K M. Spirit Guide by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Wow ! I really like this little piece,i know of my own spirit guide and he would also like this .Nice piece of writing." -- jean, N.Y. "Nice little ditty...make it longer and add a chorus...and you're another Sting...and you could be!" -- Brian O Neil. Silence-Khamoshi by Fizza Rahman Rahman (1) "really deep thoughts u hve!" -- Faizzan, Lahore, Punjab, Pakistan. Rocky The Fish by August Nyghts (3) "Hmmmmm... And what were you on when you wrote this one? LOL! Just kidding. Judging from your other poems, I take it Rocky is a guy that you had fun with and sent back to join the other fishies. Amusing." -- Tessa. "Unless they're dead before you flush, they'll swim back upstream. They always do." -- Jeff. "Tessa...stay tuned I have now met a frog. LMAO. and well Jeff lol that may be true -so may he keep swimming until he one day becomes a bigger fishes prey." -- August. Out There by Martini (1) "This poem spoke to me of humanity's nature to doubt it's self, and the greatness when we shed that doubt. I loved it! even tho I myself can't dance." -- Jimmy Mason, sevierville, Tn. Our Bodies Are In The Way by Skyler Drevan (1) "Again nice work, im just reading through your work and thinking what a mind you have, This should be a song, is the only critisism I can think of. Your imagery is great on most of the lines." -- Buxton. Once I Hit The Ground by Rae (4) "Damn...that was great!" -- michelle. "thanks! :)" -- rae. "I haven't been on this site in awhile, but if I am- I ALWAYS have to read your new stuff! Nicely done!" -- Tessa. "thanks tessa, i'm glad there are people who look forward to reading my stuff, i appreciate it! :)" -- rae. Naked - Poem Three Of The Pain Collection by David B Doc Byron (2) "Once again, I am drawn into your mad, mad world and will have to read Poems one and two!" -- Tess. "Where are they?" -- tessa. Masks And Lies by NeedhamT (2) "Excellent!" -- JM. "wonderful :)" -- rae. Little Old Lady Mrs. Dingleberry by Rose Trimovski (1) "this is lovely to write above some one who loved children and the children were content. Child hood is very important times in our lives and the children they remember for the rest of their live. It is nice to remember especially people that loved and cared for you when you were children." -- Amy, hayes, e. In Different Eyes by PittmanAN (1) "I really enjoyed this one. Nice work!" -- JM. If Only When by David B Doc Byron (3) "Beautiful!" -- K M. "hey i didn't actually read your stories yet,but i saw that you have written alot of stories so i want you to read mine and tell me what you think about it.thanks" -- Jay A Little, harrisburg, PA, United States. "Doc... this is so touching. I loved it. Release us from the pain in our grown up world and set us down among the innocence of our childhood. Bravo!" -- D.G. Williford. How It Is To Be Me by Karina Lizet Perez (2) "Good Job Karina! keep it up!! your homeboy JERRY" -- Jerry, SOUTH SIDE, CA, USA. "simply exquisite!you'll make it to your dreams,alright-you will!" -- kennedy, v.i, lagos, nigeria. Heartache Demolition by Stuart Eric Longridge (1) "Brilliant!There is something about your writing that is very inspirational,ive read most of you pieces and i realize your not the best poet in the world ,but its your use of words and they way you have made me think,whilst reading some pieces,thank you i needed that.PS,its the way that you dont care what you say,and i get the impression you dont care about what people think.And theres something very powerful about that ." -- J.beann, Iceland. Free To Write by Swae (10) "I really enjoyed this poem. " -- Josh. "I love this site! My very best wishes to its owners! http://www.online-dating-tip.grandsearch.net" -- Online dating tip, ..., ..., .... "Mmmm... Site looks good! Real good!;-) http://www.sesso.grandsearch.net" -- Sesso, ..., ..., .... "OoO! Nice site! I juuust LOVE it! Found it rather interesting and useful, you know:) http://www.phentermine.grandsearch.net" -- Phentermine, ..., ..., .... "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... "Luogo abbastanza piacevole, lo godo completamente! bmw" -- Totti, ..., ..., .... E.L.M. by Reagan Rothe (2) "YOu are a storytelling genious, my man!" -- Bill, Salt Lake , Utah, USA. "Amazed yet again at how you are able to change from awe-inspiring romance to gruesome rape to a amusing fairytale with such ease in spectacular writing!!!" -- JJ, The Miss. Drastic Plastic Fantastic by Stuart Eric Longridge (1) "Ha!Ha!You hit it right on the head.bleep bleep ,i sound like a supermarket checkout." -- jerome. Damsel In Distress by Roberto J Moreno (1) "Interesting" -- mattie. Crimson And Clover by Reagan Rothe (6) "I've never read any of your work before, but sure will in the future! You have a major talent going here. Keep up with the poetry, your'e a natural!" -- david doc byron. "I truly appreciate the review Doc... I'd recommend you reading "Lies to Succumb..." and "Of Love and Of Thy Compassion"; I think you'd enjoy those thoroughly..." -- Reagan Rothe, TX. "Your first piece that I've reviewed. I had a major problem with the entire thing. The protagonist is portrayed as stupid and weak where the rapist is the strong confident one. You wrote "Wistfully smiling, to remember pains her"... believe me... if she was about to get raped again, she would not be smiling wistfully or otherwise. You wrote "Tearing her flesh, violating her pleases the man". This line doesn't fit with the rhythm of the piece. I don't like rape pieces or pieces that portray women as weak and incapable of defending themselves. I will read some of your other pieces to see if talent abides in them. " -- D. G. Williford. "Raw and dementive, another piece of your work that I found most enjoyable (ironically)... keep up the formidable and solid work!" -- JJ, The Miss. "I read your summary of the poem and like to read poems about sinister actions and murder. But you took the whole evil perspective to a higher meaning. Not only do you tell the reader what's going on so clearly they can visualize it, but your use of rhetoric and implied meanings adds to the horror. Most exhilirating!" -- Ted Rose, San Diego , CALI. "Unbelievable Reagan. I'm truly impressed and this is the first poem of yours I've read. Keep this up, and you'll make it." -- Michael Roy, texas. Calling All Killers by David B Doc Byron (1) "Doc, I don't know much about Vietnam, but this is a good piece. I think it evokes some excellent imagery. " -- Molly B. Angel, A Collection Of Verse by Paolo Debernardi (10) "I don't think it matters whether these crap poems were published or not, because to me, they were just another handful of turd plucked from a cow's ass. It didn't send through to me any feelings of whatever. I think i would prefer to read some of your works you made in italian, if i ever have the time to study italian. No hard feelings, Pao" -- Guy. "i don't think english is your type" -- Marc, Germany. "poem is not your talent, lemme tell you now." -- Mel. "OoO! Nice site! I juuust LOVE it! Found it rather interesting and useful, you know:) http://www.phentermine.grandsearch.net" -- Phentermine, ..., ..., .... "Mmmm... Site looks good! Real good!;-) http://www.sesso.grandsearch.net" -- Sesso, ..., ..., .... "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... "Prior to coming to the US, our family name used to be spelled Debernardi. I'm wondering if our family is related? I have no info hardly on the Italian half of my family line." -- Bill Debernarde, Costa Mesa, CA, USA. After Dark by Rae (1) "that was excellently done, marvelous!" -- Josh / Axey. 9 Months by WrightMS (4) "I don't understand the title, but I'm sure it means something to you and the poem is very good" -- Steven. "thanks alot steven, and the title is just how it takes 9 months to be born, yet it only takes a moment to die" -- Martell, norwalk, ct, united states. "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... "Luogo abbastanza piacevole, lo godo completamente! bmw" -- Totti, ..., ..., .... You Are My Angel by Emily S (4) "I agree it needs some help and not from the words "You are my". You got to be your oneself and not live for somebody else cause when you do it shows how close minded and dependent you are a what you think is love. When people meet other people and they form whatever type of relationship they want whther it is a quick fling cause their turned on by there vehicle or a meaningful relationship they don't boast about it. " -- D DONELY. "That is not a review of the poem. That is a review of assumptions you are making about the author." -- Peter Rivendell. "Thank you, Peter... And I'm sure you know that review is NOT from the real D Donely." -- Emily S.. "this is really beautiful Emily...keep up the good work..." -- michelle. Without You by D Donely (4) "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww so sweet..." -- Michelle. "I had a little struggle reading this piece. There wasn't a flow for me to pick up on and carry me. The liked the way you ended but unsure if the last line fits? What was the reason she is out of your life if it caused so much pain...the event had to be painful I assume. Nevertheless a good effort." -- e. rocco caldwell. "Thank you for reviewing..but...it's about a HE not a SHE. And it was a painful experience because he WASN'T in my life anymore. I'ts a loooong story. If you would like to read about it, I actually wrote a story called "rainbow at the end of the storm". And don't worry it's not a looooong mushy love story. thanks again for r/r." -- d donely. "Sweet poem. Wish a girl would something like that for me :-)" -- Eric Richards. Wind In The Rain by Buxton (2) "Not too shabby. In the 7th line 'sheets' is plural and then in the 9th line it's singular. They should be the same. In the 13th line "to" should read "too" and the final line should end in a period, not a comma. Other than those few changes....it's good." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "Bite me, with that grammar\correct spelling bullshit. Poetry is free expression, there cannot be any mistakes??" -- Buxton. Who Knows by Stuart Eric Longridge (3) "I like this earth loving poem. Power to the people" -- e. rocco caldwell. "*****I really liked this one. The rhythmn was awesome and so was your choice of words. Great job." -- d donely. "A poignant reminder of our responsibilities to our children. Thank you !" -- Harvey Kennett, UK. What Is Pain by Tom King (2) "this is very powerful and well written, Tom...welcome to storymania :)" -- michelle. "thank you" -- tom. We've Forgotten So Much by David B Doc Byron (1) "This is beautiful and sorrowful...extremely well written and touching..." -- Butterfly. Wanning Vivid Colors by E Rocco Caldwell (3) "This is really good Rocco! I love the last stanza. Great work!" -- Eric Richards, gainesville, Fl. "Thank you. Poetry isn't something I'm very good at so this means a lot." -- e. rocco caldwell. "hey,like the poem Rocco.keep up the good work." -- Brian C Lebron, Amsterdam, N.Y.. Unrefined by Eric Richards (2) "I think this is a very strong piece of work but, you really need to review your use of commas because they`re breaking up the meaning and the flow. I also have a problem with the word "unrefined". I`m just not sure it says what you`re trying to say, which is a shame because otherwise, I think this is great. Hope that`s not too critical." -- Peter Rivendell. "Much better without those commas! Makes real sense now. Really good." -- Peter Rivendell. Two by Peter Rivendell (6) "This is beautiful and I think a lot of people can relate. Nice job!" -- Michelle. "I like this one...short but powerful." -- Eric Richards. "Very nice. I like the secon line because it speaks about the turmoil to lovers have! Good!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Looks like I'm the only one here who doesn't totally get this. I understand the last line, but that's it. I wouldn't want to ruin your run of sparkling revews,however, so I say great job!" -- Steven. "Thanks, Steven, looks like you have ended my run anyway. Thanks all, nice to get so much feedback, especially positive." -- Peter Rivendell. "Nice piece. I really like the second line also. I think it's a place many long-standing couples find themselves at different stages of their relationship. Well done!" -- Molly B. Turn Back Time by D Donely (5) "I think I would. :-) " -- Eric Richards. "If I could turn back time/ If I could find a way/ I'd take back those words that had hurt you and you'd say/..." -- Cher. "Wow! I wonder if that's the real Cher!" -- 2:27. "If I could reach the stars/ I'd give them all to you/ And you'd love me, love me, like the way you used to/..." -- Cher. "***** Hm....Cher? Is that you?" -- d donely. Torture by Natalie Porter (1) "Maybe change "gunna" to "gonna" and then I'd say it's finished. I liked it. " -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. To Touch The Sky by M Q Walters (2) "Very nice...wouldn't we all like to touch the sky:)" -- mandi. "Or like to fly?" -- mattie. Thin Ice In A Thin Land by Buxton (2) "I really liked this one. Some great imagery in here. I like the tornado metaphor. Good stuff." -- Eric Richards, Gainesville, Florida. "I am loving reading Buxton. This in paticular reminds me of a neo gothic romance poem, the mind that wrote this must be inspired. Without sounding like a groupy ;) x" -- Forbidden Poet, Glasgow, Scotland. There's Nothing Left Here by David B Doc Byron (1) "left me breathless..." -- Butterfly. Then And Now by Deborah M Ortiz (2) "Very true...an excellent piece in my opinion, though I am no judge of poetry. " -- Mulan. "****there's great advice weaved into the lines of this poem. Good job." -- d donely. The Winding Road by Eric Richards (8) "*****I really liked this, the wording is good. There are a few grammer mistakes, but those can be easily fixed. My favorite stanza was the 2nd to last: I curse the night that surrounds me Just another light that hasn't found me I have to dream to know I'm still alive A cure for a pain that can never subside **I just really liked the way you worded this part. Great job." -- d donely. "Very nice. Your final stanza sums the entire poem. "I know now you're the turn I took too fast!" This is great stuff." -- e. rocco caldwell. "This is vey good" -- Steven. "Very, I mean" -- Steven. "This is wonderful...I love this line "I have to dream to know I'm still alive". That is a GREAT line! And I agree with e. rocco the last stanza is excellent, so well thought out and truely does say it all." -- Michelle. "I think this piece needs alot of editing to it since it sucks. " -- Emilly S. "Stop posing as other users jackass" -- Eric Richards. "This needs a little tidying up as D Donely says, but I think there are some really good turns of phrase in this piece, especially the 4th and 5th stanzas/verses." -- Peter Rivendell. The Reunion by Laura Mae Oldham-Brownell (1) "excellent !!!!!!!" -- Ronald gores. The Flower Garden by Gwendolyn F Conrad (1) "This very calming ." -- Carolyn, Los Angeles, California, United States. The End Of Liz by Roberto J Moreno (1) "Some of it goes smoothly: as in the last stanza and the first (ther are others but I'm too lazy to scroll back up to count). And as I read the whole thing, I think you could be the next Eminem... " -- marini. Tender Nights by David B Doc Byron (1) "Doc... very nice piece. A nice mixture of your two best genres." -- D. G. Williford. Tapestry by Keri McGriff (2) "Nice utilization of the fabled Thesaurus. I have a few poems with a similar flow to this one. I like it." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. ""what an imagination!" It reminds me of many tapestry images when I read it and how our lives are inter-twined between us all." -- Misty. Song In My Head by Roberto J Moreno (1) "this is nice....I like this line "For every woman has taken, stolen and even kept a small part of me..." good metaphor." -- michelle. Rise And Fall by Eric Richards (3) "*****Beautifully done. :)." -- d donely. "What a lovely tribute to love.~Laura" -- Laura, Lindsborg, Kansas, USA. "this is wonderful....I especially like "did I forget to remember or did I remember to forget". Lovely piece..." -- michelle. Poison by D Donely (3) "Cool!!! I like this one a lot. Nice imagery!" -- Michelle. "I really like this one. I dig the dark imagery. I like these lines...a shadow of lust/riding my heels/a whisper of mirth at my door " -- Eric Richards. "This is I enjoyed alot! I liked the way your words flowed. Your usage of metaphors such as a shadow of lust ...right on! You nailed it with this poem, girl!" -- e. rocco caldwell. Morning Comes by Harvey Kennett (3) "beautiful...vivid imagery...its best t hat you saved it for your first love because what you feel with your fiancee must be a thousand times more powerful...and a thousand times more beautiful" -- ashley burdett. "It amazes me how easily you can write about different things! I'd just finished reading one of your mind-baffling horror stories and then came across this wonderful poem! What else can I say but 'Keep'em coming!' Kudos!!!" -- Luis Felipe Moura, Belo Horizonte, MG, Brazil. "Update : I'm pleased to say that the fiance� in the story notes is now my most beautiful and cherished wife. We married in the IceHotel in Sweden in April 2009, after a 19 year relationship. (Yes that's a long engagement due to financial reasons, but we managed to achieve our dreams this year)" -- Harvey Kennett. Moonlight Enchantress by D Donely (4) "be sure to read my second part to this story." -- martini. "I understand what you are trying to do here with a round robin/pass-it-along/chain/mosaic/hot-potato story, and it is commendable, but I was curious what kind of rules were in place for it? In other words what do you have set up to keep it from degenerating into idiocy? One needs to think about these things before beginning a round robin. Things to think about would be: Who is going to keep the logic straight, say they are on the planet Xayynatoo, and then somebody has a character driving to Michigan; continuity errors, what if they romantic male fighter Torrop, suddenly becomes a woman when the eighth person in line gets ahold of the character, character B's hair turns from red to silver, or suddenly their axe becomes a laser pistol; or what if a reader is interested in reading all the pieces to the story, then how are they going to find them if they are under a bunch of other people's names, especially when they are no longer under the New Titles they will be scattered to the wind. These are all things you must think about in such a project." -- Private PJ Penguin. "I have a possible answer to that last one, why not just have each of the writers on the project have something stating that people should do a search for the title itself, not the individual writers. To add to PPP's concerns my big buggedy-boo was how do you know who goes next, I mean what if three different people are working on part 7 at the same time, then one of them is about to get mad because of the wasted effort, after some other guy posts no. 7, or if all three of them post no. 7, then it becomes hopelessly confusing to future writers and readers." -- Sam Cat. "***** I have no control over what anyone else writes, and i have no intention of doing so. But, to answer the question about how to know who's doing the next part. Well, I guess first come, first serve. The person who wants to write next can make their claim on the review boards. I was just doing this for fun. If the character's hair turns color, the so be it. I'll just have to go along with it." -- d donely. Life On The Edge by Natalie Porter (1) "This is a good start. I think you should expand it by at least two more stanzas. It would make a good song...perhaps you could include a bridge and chorus in between the second and third stanzas and then at the end?" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Life Beyond The Wooden Bars by Veronica R Ewing (2) "this is a good piece but again a little restructuring would make it much better. I also see a little too much forced rhyming. You definitely have talent :) and maybe working on this will help the fluidity. Nice job!" -- michelle. "***** I agree with Michelle. In some places it doesn't flow too smoothly. But, other than that, I really liked this piece." -- d donely. Let Me by Emily S (3) "beautiful! " -- michelle. "*****Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!This is so incredibly sweet!!!!!!It has great rhythm and flow. I wish I could write something this perfect for my boyfriend!!Great job, keep em coming!" -- d donely. "Thank you, ladies :) I appreciate the comments!" -- Emily S. Last Year by Heather Hall (2) "I understand what you're trying to say here Heather and its a nice stlye to use to talk about change. But, you really need to edit this. Lots of misspelled words and grammatical errors. If you are trying to improve your writing then this is a great effort but fixing the typos would really help out. If you're just writing this in support of Rachel then just leave it as is and everyone who is familiar with the soap opera b/t Rachel and Jon will understand your work just fine. Take care!" -- michelle. "I was doing this before Rach and Jon thing went out of control. but it might work if he will see the work. I think my Word Perfect didnt catch it typos. oh well ill get to work on it when i have the free time. thanks." -- Heather. Justice Come Due by Jeffrey (George) Winter (2) "Jeff, are you saying mercy is better thanjustice or be careful what you ask for you just might get it. " -- Shelley, Fullerton, Ca, USA. "Actually Shelley, your primary remark is most accurate as far as what I mean. But it isn't that mercy is simply better than justice, it is essntial as justice's foundation. In other words, merciless justice is not justice but judgment and there-in lies a huge difference: judgment is rendered with recrimination or expecataion of pay back, ie, a legal judgment is rendered to at least in part, render some kind of payback from the accused. That is the form of judgment we most frequently engage in whether involved in legal affairs or not. Thus the refernce to seeking one's rightful due and so to the reply that such seeking is witless. For true justice is based on true judgement, ie, an understanding of the complete picture so to speak as far as we humans can discern. That kind of judgment must concede that in fact, mercy lies at its own foundation because in review, such judgment has been applied to oneself countless times over. Such a view concedes that in its own and perhaps the world's eyes, it has been rendered indicting or payback justice but it understands that regardless of that, mercy still lies at the haert of true justice and is the only kind of application of judgment that honestly works. If and when we have ever applied that type of thinking in a situation, we know such reasoning to be indisputably true. That reasoning lies at the basis of what we often to refer to as "you can't fight fire with fire." Why won't it work? Because of the previous perspective. " -- Jeff. In Shock by D Donely (2) "This is really sweet, I like it :)" -- Emily S/Rachel Jordan. "very sweet, indeed..." -- michelle. I Lost The Feeling by Veronica R Ewing (2) "very nice...one suggestion though. Maybe change "My thoughts don�t come together, They go on for forever" to "thoughts not together, going on forever" just to help with flow. :) I emjoyed this though...keep 'em coming " -- michelle. "***** I liked the structure of this piece, the way it changes with each stanza. The feeling in this poem is strong. Nice job, hopefully there will be some happier pieces to come. :)" -- d donely. Hurting Me Again by Veronica R Ewing (1) "***** When I read this I actually had to check my back to make sure there were no needles in it! lol. I really liked this one, it reminds me alot of some that I've written. Which reminds me...I need to get rid of this writer's block and start writing some more poetry..." -- d donely. He Never Saw Me by Veronica R Ewing (2) "i like this...it has a lot of feeling. Only thing is you may want to work on the structure. Otherwise this is a nice piece :)" -- michelle. "***** I can really feel the emotion in this poem, it's quite sad. I liked the way you ended it alot. Great job." -- d donely. Government Choas by William Faitel (1) "*****I completely agree, the people who run our nation psychotic dumbasses. I liked the first stanza the best, about the beserk freaks." -- d donely. Globes Of Light by D Donely (4) "I liked it a lot. The only thing that bothered me was the line "alive, quite alive" it seemed out of place to me." -- Vyacheslav Yampolsky. "not bad. it was hard to figure out that you were basically looking out of the window." -- sunny, dc, usa. "*****That was hard...um..i explained it in the first line.." -- d donely. "This is one of your best." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Global Warming by Peter Rivendell (1) "This one was very good Peter. I really like the last two lines. Excellent metaphor." -- Eric Richards, Gainesville, Fl. Give Me Your All by Emily S (5) "Oh boy is it obvious" -- Donely. "This wasn't from D Donely either. Jon, get a life :)" -- Emily S. "It sounds like you should be taking your own advice. " -- D Donely. "this is simple and sweet :) I like it!" -- butterfly. "Thanks butterfly" -- Emily S. For Me. by Veronica R Ewing (2) "I really like this, I just have one suggestion... Your fourth line "Can you lead me to it?" doesn't quite fit in with the pattern you have. It ends with "It" While the other lines end with "me." You could change it, or leave it how it is - I think it'd sound good either way." -- Emily S. "*****Awesome, finally another poet who's the same age as me!:). I really liked this piece, it has great rhythmn and structure. Well done.:)" -- d donely. Fading Ember by D Donely (6) "This is an excellent piece which describes self-loathing better than I have ever seen it portrayed before. I applaud your ability to incorporate such powerful imagery. " -- Laura, Lindsborg, Kansas, USA. "I love the intense emotion you put into this one Donely. Very powerful, I love it. My favorite stanza is /Wishing to take his last breath/Craving to no longer exist/To evaporate like a breathless dust/To disappear like a forgotten mist...Keep em coming girl :-)." -- Eric Richards. "this would make a fantastic song. I enjoyed the usage of words to depict the dying of an ember...the final flash of life. The leaking slowly away is vivid and fine use of metaphor. Another thing you didn;'t use one simile and that is saying something. Very good!" -- rocco caldwell. "*****Thank you everyone! I really appreciate it. It's nice to see I'm not the only person who likes my work. hehe. :)" -- d donely. "Very nice dd...I like your work also :-)" -- mattie. "I loved this - such intense emotions. Feelings I (unfortunately) know only too well. Agree with Rocco that it would make a great song" -- Briony Carvalho. Don't Throw Me Away by Martini (3) "*****Good job. It's so sad. :( And i know how you must feel." -- d donely. "I can relate to this one too.I like the lines....You say pushing me away is reasoning/Problem solving for your problem...good stuff! " -- Eric Richards. "Please keep in mind that I'm no critic, or writer. But, I think if you change the second stanza to the following it might be a bit easier and flow a little better. This is a very nice piece, and I really enjoyed it. "It all seemed so real: your yearning, Your smell, your voice, your touch. But as I woke in bed from dreaming None of it was really there None of it really had true meaning, Nothing but my regular fantasy." " -- Molly B. Confused Consided Lies by Tom King (2) "nicely worded and powerful....but again a few typos =)" -- michelle. "oh,and i think its "gnaw" ...." -- michelle. Beware The Banshee by Laura Mae Oldham-Brownell (2) "Elegantly written Laura. Excellent rythm and diction. A great story poem that is able to be read with ease. I really liked it." -- Eric Richards. "excellent rhythm and wording;it truly takes you back to the irish taverns.A great read!!" -- Ronald Gores. Believing In Something! by Buxton (3) "A review this is, nothing more, nothing less." -- Elmo's Hoes. "very nice flow and a wonderful use of words" -- e. rocco caldwell. "good one. I love the style. Short and simple. Says all. Hugs, Dree." -- Dri. At Sea by Peter Rivendell (1) "I can relate to this one. Great metaphors." -- Eric Richards, gainesville, Fl. An Inferno Of Love by Veronica R Ewing (1) "Absolutely Beautiful and very well structured!" -- Michelle. All Things Canadian by Jane Nichol (6) "I don't quite know everything concerning Canada but I do know I have a great deal of respect for it. I am a unionist so support many of the concepts held by the yu Canucks. I wish us Americans were more like you in many aspects. We get a bit selfish down south. I wish we weren't in Iraq but I can take great comfort knowing I didn't vote for GW! Keep in mind you didn't get attacked by airplanes leaving 3000 of your country men and women dead and that has a tendency to make you a little pissed. I still wished we used rationalization instead nationalism to solve the problem maybe there would be a lot more Iraqis and Americans alive today if we had." -- e. rocco caldwell. "thank you for the review. i understand that not all americans agree with what is going on in Iraq. i respect many americans. however i don't agree with what the usa stands for." -- jane. "it's just a bit sad you feel winning a couple golds somehow makes canada somewhat better that the USA. hell, what took so long, it is your national sport after all. care for a game of football? or perhaps a nice short visit to a doctor, understand that's quite the fun thing up there. seems you get our malcontentents relocating while we get your achievers, guess they're not too bright huh? wonder how all the iraques who were taken from their homes and thrown into prison because they dared think differently than their rulers feel about the passiveness of much of the rest of the world. why can't you just revel in the good things in canada without trying to bring us in as if we're the devil incarnate. I have to admit I liked the don cherry idea, now that would be something to behold - that was good. actually i liked a lot of your poem but darlin', leave us out, we're just trying to get by." -- a proud american. "to a proud american - you know what - i think you are absolutely right. i shouldn't have included anything about my thoughts on america in this poem. it simply should have been about canada's good qualities. i just feel strongly about the usa and the current world issues. i suppose if i wanted to share my thoughts on the states then i should do so in an entirely different poem. thanks for the review. jane (a proud canadian)" -- jane. "my turn to apologize for a couple of the snide remarks. i guess we're all a bit xenophobic. don cherry for PM, he's a bit to forthright to be a politician is my guess. anyhow, write your feelings about the good old USA and maybe we'll chat again." -- a proud american. "WICKED POEM ha i liked the part of the americans whooooo lol" -- CANADA RULES. Adoration by Emily S (1) "Oh sweet child of mine I love you more and more every day. From walking and talking to making love on the bathroom floor. I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. " -- Ricky. A Love I Knew by Tom King (2) "magnatude = magnitude, beuity = beauty, precence = presence, are = our, ruff = rough, layed = lay (and besides, it's "laid"), breathe = breath, i = I I make mistakes too, but that's awful. A great poem though, no doubt about that. You've definitly got potential with metaphors such as those." -- Harry. "Very nice piece with great feeling and wonderful metaphors...still need to change "are" to "our" though :)Oh, and "canvas's" is too confusing to look at ...maybe saying "a canvas" would make it look nicer. " -- michelle. A Bad Choice by Tom King (2) "fix the typos and this is great....." -- michelle. "thank you i'll get those fixed" -- tom . A Simple Night by Eric Richards (6) "I really liked this. Definitely laced with sadness, but is there a bit of hope as well?" -- Molly B. "Sooooooooo sweet :)" -- Michelle. "*****Beautiful and great rhythmn. It's just so incredibly sweet. I wish all guys could be like this." -- d donely. "All of it is really great, but I especially like the last stanza. " -- Emily S. "both thumbs up! " -- e. rocco caldwell. "Looooooooooove this! I agree with Emily about the last stanza." -- Tessa. A Lost Conscience by Eric Richards (4) "Bros before hos" -- Jerry. "*****Awesome." -- d donely. "You did it again, Eric, very good!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "i lost interest after the first paragraph...rhyming poetry is so tedious." -- sunny, dc, usa. Wanning Colors by E Rocco Caldwell (1) "nice :)" -- mattie. Your Missing The Piont by Stuart Eric Longridge (1) "You do not have potential, you are there! You need to stop robbing yourself of the eloquent and meaningful words that could be flowing from your pen. Write a piece from your heart, not your hate and camouflaged historical and bibical facts. pour out a genuine piece about something that is sensitive and loving and then tell me how you feel after you have written it. you are capable and you owe it to us all to share your real gift. You are right ...I got over my anger... because I forgive. DO IT ! " -- Brian O Neil. Yer Mans A Bit Weird, He Has Strange Eyelids. by Stuart Eric Longridge (6) "This sucks. My dick is smarter than this. " -- E. Rocco Caldwell. "Man E. Rocco Caldwell sure is an insensitive jerk, I think this is a very good poem." -- Clayborne Veltross. "e. rocco didnt write that I can assure you. The poem is excellent and so detailed. Good piece!" -- Michelle. "Michelle, you should marry this man! You have an insight and are sensitive to where Stuart is coming from, even if it is not the place he thinks it is.As you say, the poem is excellent and so detailed, perhaps not quite conventional in it's scansion. E. Rocco and Clayborne should take respective reddeners!" -- mahadave. "hey Stu, Really dig the title!" -- Amanda. "LOVE the lizard humanoid...good expose!" -- Brian O Neil. Where The Struggle Has Gone by E Rocco Caldwell (4) "I like your work ;)" -- Buxton. "One of my best union poems. I like it too!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Where has the struggle gone Rocco??? The flow and wording is the foundation of a very good poetic piece, for lack of better words, the words 'melt in your mouth' as you read..." -- Reagan Rothe, Texas. "Thanks for reviewing one of mine Rocco - otherwise I might not have found my way to your stuff - loved this one, a poem that really takes you on a dance down the page ;)" -- Kevin Hadley. Unbound by Tessa (4) "*****This was good, and you're right, it probably DOES say enough..but,I dunno, to me, it seemed like a few more lines could be added. But, then again, whenever I write, I tend to draw things out..so, you should probably just discard my review, except for when I said this poem was good. Heh." -- D donely. "Thanks D. I'm considering working on it a little bit more." -- Tessa. "I agree you should work on it maybe even write something that isn't full of cliches. " -- Jeff. "Jeff- cliches, huh? Ouch. I'll work on it. ;P" -- Tessa. Trailing Sun by Amanda Connison (2) "Amanda, I'm no real critic, just a casual reader, so take this for what you will. I like the idea here, but it doesn't seem to flow well. A little tweaking may help it. " -- Molly B. "I really like the idea started here. Your first stanza has 5 lines, the second has 4, and the third has 3... I'm thinkin' you need to build more in with 2 more stanzas at the end! :)" -- Emily S. The Trees On Mckinley Avenue by E Rocco Caldwell (2) "This is beautiful! I can see the place as if it were my own past." -- krystal. "Again, thank you very much for your kind encouragement" -- e.rocco caldwell. The Next Time You Poo by Robert E Tadlock (7) "*****LMFAO! This is even better than the fart one. Hehe, it's funny AND it has good rhyme. :):)" -- d donely. "Hysterical....even better than the first one! " -- Michelle. "Hilarious once again! I love it when I see a writer not afraid to post this type of material! You have a great sense of humor, and I applaud you! By the way, if you enjoy this ''type'' of humor, read my story ''Uncle Marty.''" -- david doc byron. "Laughing again! I only read it because the fart one was so funny. This did not disappoint in the hysterical category!" -- Molly B. "Well it was stupid but i gotta admit that it did make me laugh. You've gotta twisted sense of humour but i mean that in a good way." -- nikki, BC, Canada. "THIS POEM IS SO FUNNY!!!!! i about died I laughed so hard" -- nash. "i think i died laughing! Nice, man, nice." -- chad naquin. The Next Time You Fart by Robert E Tadlock (5) "*****Well....it's original. *grins* I'll admit, I did crack a smile. *throws over a bottle of gas-X*. There ya go, that'll make it all better." -- d donely. "Funny as shit...pardon the pun. HAHA :}" -- David. "Bravo!! I love your sense of humor, and your bravery as well!! Keep em' comin'! " -- david doc byron. "I am laughing my butt off. No pun intended! HeeHee. I was leary to read this, but glad I did." -- Molly B. "i'll show this to all my friends! it is so friggin' hilarious!!!" -- chad naquin. Tenements by E Rocco Caldwell (2) "Nice play of words, good stuff." -- Buxton. "Thank you again, Buxton." -- e. rocco caldwell. Summer Song by Rae (2) "Sad summer song told well, good going rae." -- Just A Guy. "This is beautiful! Rae you really captured such feeling here and expressed it with soul and spirit. Wonderfully told...." -- Michelle. Summer Crush by Roberto J Moreno (2) "This is a pretty good poem. I just had a hard time figuring out what her response to you when you confessed your feelings to you." -- Clayborne Veltross. "She stated the same comment she has since the beginning. I have a boyfriend. Read, liz, & No regrets. You'll see the start, this is the middle, and no regret is the end. " -- Rob. Stephanie by E Rocco Caldwell (5) "I like it! Nice..." -- Michelle. " This is thought provoking and tender! PS Thanks for your reviews, without them I wouldn't have much input!" -- christine. "stephanie is indeed beautiful whoever she is and of course very loved. her description comes across beautifully" -- Avis, Mumbai, India. "She's my wonderful wife and yes she is beautiful! Thank you, Avis!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "how could I have missed this one? It's simply lovely! She's lucky!" -- Dri. Orbs Of Our Soul by D Donely (1) "I really liked this one. My favorite part of a girl is her eyes for these very reasons. They can tell you everything." -- Eric Richards, gainesville, Fl. Oh Shit by D Donely (3) "I love to write, but it's seldom that I can sit and actually read something. This was really good though. Keep it up and write something longer. " -- Robert E. Tadlock, Palm Bay, Fl., USA. "This was good D, but I wish you would expand on it some. Asin, what happened next??" -- Michelle. "Me and you and Tadlock ought to collaborate on something; I think it would turn out to be a hoot!" -- david doc byron. No Regrets by Roberto J Moreno (1) "Simple and honest...I like it :)" -- Michelle. My Fathers Eyes by Skyler Drevan (3) "10 lines say it all. A fathers love is immortal and means so much to us, without it there is a void that never gets filled. Good stuff man!" -- Buxton. "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... "Luogo abbastanza piacevole, lo godo completamente! bmw" -- Totti, ..., ..., .... Laborer by E Rocco Caldwell (3) "Poignant reminder of the life of the labourer...I especially liked the "Priced Sold Marketed To the higher bidder", as I feel this has great resonance with how workers are seen and treated in this age, the past age, and the probably the future age. We are all nothing than flesh and bone indeed ! Thanks Rocco ! " -- Harvey Kennett, Chelmsford, Essex, UK. "Thank you, Harvey. It seems that people outside my country America have a solid grasp on the struggles of worker and those other folks...the rich! Thank you" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Ah! Rocco, you sure hate the rich and certainly you despise capitalism. I'm sure you would like to see communism, or at least socialism prevail in this country, as it has in Europe. Wonderful Europe, why don't you move there, Rocco? I don't know how you make a living. I know it's not from writing. Are you on welfare? " -- Richard. I'm Tired by Roberto J Moreno (4) "awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..." -- Michelle. "*****so sweet!!!!!!!!!" -- d donely. "This may sound strange, {and maybe foreign}, to you , but this sounds like ancient Kris Kristofferson. Hope my opinion didn't offend you; KK was a classic talent in his time." -- david doc byron. "It's ok. I know KK did write songs. But never heard any of them. I just went through this situation last week. Wrote it in 10 mins. But if there are similarities, they are not meant to be. Since I don't listen to KK's music. PS. Thanks everyone for your feedback. IF you read more stuff of mine. Please write feedback. Even if negative. " -- Rob. If There Are Two by E Rocco Caldwell (3) "I love how you write - it's concise...it makes sense!" -- Christine Tricarico. "Thank you, Christine" -- e. rocco caldwell. "it flows......nice....." -- Dri. I Thought We Were Perfect by Wolfa (3) "This is wonderful! The usage of circle (The object of perfection) is handled thoughtfully. The use of shattered, dull, sharp, ragged are so vivisble and sensory. What a wonderful experience to read. The breaking down of a relationship perhaps marriage is so well developed. Excellent!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Thank you!" -- Wolfa. "*****This has great sensory, imagery, and metaphors. Awesome work." -- D donely. Hourglass by D Donely (2) "Wow.. I almost feel like I'm fading away just reading it. Good job." -- Emily S. "I think this is one of your best poems. Nice work!" -- Molly B. Forbbiden Light(Extended) by J L Watts (1) "*****This is a great poem about the lotr trilogy, I love those movies!" -- d donely. Fools Heart by M Q Walters (5) "this is a very well thought out and written poem M.Q. Walters." -- Clayborne Veltross. "Short but says alot...very good piece!" -- Michelle. "Thanx Clayborne and Michelle :)" -- mattie. "I really like the first two lines in this poem and I also believe that a fools heart has trouble seeing reality.But I believe we all stand at the edge of insanity whether we have a fools heart or not. Nice poem, short but meaningful." -- David D. "What I think is that the heart is a foolish thing in general...but love is worth the cost...always!" -- mattie. Firefly by Ashley Burdett (5) "very nicely done, ash! beautiful description. <3" -- hayley. "For one so young... you took my breath away... I think it was the imagery and the orbs... I take pics of orbs and that's what drew me into your story... Excellent!" -- D. G. Williford. "Bravo Ashley! Wonderful imagery!!" -- Michelle. "That was amazing Ashley! I couldn't believe how descriptive that was. great job!" -- Rachael. "I`ll just echo everyone else`s comments. A lovely piece of work with well-sustained tone and imagery, and a nice thoughtful idea with real meaning behind it." -- Peter Rivendell. Feeling Blue by Flipanmc (2) "Awwwwwww... Your heart will heal. It just takes time. You've bared your soul to us. Your writing's getting more serious, SO different from your earlier poems. Write on! Trust me, writing your feelings out helps." -- Tessa. "Wow, it's good to see you're still writing! (Found this link on your MySpace.) Anyway, this poem is great! I can definitely feel where you were when you wrote this. (I've been there myself!) I can only hope it got better for you. Take care!" -- Jennifer Paskiewicz (Breeding, Belleville, MI, USA. Fake by Jane Nichol (5) "Sounds like your about as real as Kid Rock. Your subject must have took what little digintity you had. It's obvious they smarter, sexier,and stronger than you. So who is real?" -- k. "*****I disagree with K. I liked this poem, I thought it was good. And I thought the subject matter was good." -- d donely. "I liked it too. Watch out for cliches though in your work like "pretty in pink"...otherwise nice work with lots of feeling..." -- Michelle. "Sounds very trite and phony. Your stuck in the past." -- greg. "greg, what does this have to do with the past? i'm talking in the present buddy. " -- jane. Fairy Dance by M Q Walters (4) "I loved this one Mattie...must not leave everything to chance:)" -- mandi. "Life is a chance :)" -- mattie. "This is a nice poem but kind of a sad ending.Instead of weeping at dawn I would've liked it if you were laughing and had a beautiful smile on your face." -- David D. "How sweet...Thank you David" -- mattie . Deathdreams by Jason ''The Bloodman'' Taylor (1) "I think this is excellent, but then again, I might be just a little prejudiced, considering my son wrote this." -- david doc byron. Deaf Ears by D Donely (1) "4th Stanza, 2nd line, "Cracking and Breaking" sounds kind of weird together (Actually, it's kind of hard to say). I do like "wrenching wimpers" though :) " -- Emily S.. Dancing In The Rain by D Donely (1) "I like poetry about love." -- sea. Comatose by E Rocco Caldwell (7) "What does Comatose mean? This poem is a little too abstract" -- Steven. "it means being in a coma. This is a poem around two friends of mine. His wife is in a semi-coma and the question is put forth is she alive because he believes it so, a machine keeps her functioning? Or is life based on our senses both physical and emotional? " -- e. rocco caldwell. "I liked this- your use of a hole as a metaphor was well done. I wouldn't have understood the poem though, without the explanation you provided to Steven. Write on!" -- Tessa. "I like this a lot. I think that metaphorical poetry is wonderful because the reader can interpret it into what it means to them. To me I thought of someone who loves another person who is agoraphobic and that person wants their friend to be healthy again so that he can enjoy life. Nice job!" -- MIchelle. "*****I thought this was great and I agree with Michelle. When I read the poem, I thought of a person who was dependent and lived in a false world with imagined hope. They live without truly hearing or seeing what's right in front of them. I dunno...it's hard to explain." -- d donely. "Interesting write Rocco! " -- Monte. "liked ur style. I thot the hole meant a grave! Was that ur anology? Or am I completely off track??? good work though." -- Avis, Mumbai, India. A Rose In Winter by D G Williford (3) "*****This is execellent. I really enjoyed this piece. And, the single, unbloomed, rose in winter was an excellent metaphor for stunted love. " -- d donely. "Sorry to not be creative here, but d donely said it exactly, great job on this one." -- Miles Tugman. "Thanks so much for the feedback pals... I put my alltime favorite out there to be criticized and it wasn't easy. So happy to hear that you all enjoyed it too... " -- D. G. Williford. Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 |
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