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Witch Hunt by R Bennett Okerstrom (12)
"Very good ... reminds me of a couple of mine!" -- Judith.
"It's been in my head for weeks. I just never wrote it down. Thanks." -- R. Bennett.
"Where do I sign up to join the vampire club? LOL. Good work" -- Steven T.
"No club. I just happen to like the subject." -- R. Bennett.
"I like the subject too R. Bennett and you always keep it interesting. Another good one! Steven T, "the world is a vampire". Sorry, I couldn't resist that one." -- JM.
"very nice. i liked the flow and how you handled the subject matter. this poem sucked blood." -- sunny, DC, DC, USA.
"Thanks Sunny. Perhaps you would like the rest of my vampire poems as well." -- R. Bennett.
"These vampire tales are all well done! You leave me wanting more!" -- The Reviewer.
"wow, interesting topic matter. like you've been picking up rocks and looking at bugs. you are quite prolific." -- alex.
"Thanks Alex. Do I know you, perhaps?" -- R. Bennett.
"I like that this vampire is not romanticized. He revels in his victims' pain and fear. His attitude almost seems flippant. He knows what he is and goes on with remorse." -- Royal D.
"Yes, well so many times the creature is described as a romantic when we all know that deep down he is just a death dealer." -- R. Bennett.


Sanguinary by R Bennett Okerstrom (8)
"Very (evil) good. Can almost feel a chill in the air." -- Sylvia.
"I could definitely feel the chill! Very good imagery! Good job R. Bennett!" -- JM.
"I'm not going out at night - ever again! Great job as usualy RB." -- Just A Guy.
"The vampyre is contemplating transforming his victim into one of his own. In the end, he decides that the victim has suffered long enough as a mortal and that eternal damnation would only make her suffer more. He kills her." -- R. Bennett.
"He's watched her for weeks. He knows she hates her life. He wanted to take her away and make her immortal, but then he thought immortality would be worse." -- R. Bennett.
"Very good piece RB, wouldnt expect anything less. Wow a vamp with feelings....gotta like that." -- Michelle.
"Just a twist away from the rest." -- R. Bennett.
"Interesting how you switched gears in mid prose. I like it." -- The Reviewer.


Influence by R Bennett Okerstrom (7)
"Awesome ending! I wasn't expecting that! " -- Stuart, Cambridge, MA.
"Never better ... " -- Judith.
"Internet expense...$45, reading your work...priceless" -- Michelle.
"Supreme! I've got chills! I love the ending!" -- JM.
"If you say so. Quite frankly, your pretty good at posting things here and there, but where is YOUR work? " -- R. Bennett.
"I have to admit that this might be the most well-written piece on this entire web site. You have outdone yourself this time!" -- The Reviewer.
"I'm not so sure about that! But thanks!!" -- R. Bennett.


Attempted Suicide by Rowan Davies (9)
"Quite powerful...nicely written. Hope it isnt true." -- Michelle.
"Disturbing. It's a good piece, but leaves me feeling uneasy. Guess that's part of what makes it good though." -- Sylvia.
"Quite chilling though I'd subscribe more to the old adage, living well is the best revenge." -- Just A Guy.
"Very well written peice, i like it. shame ther is much about monkeys, but i think you have done your self proud with this!" -- Pingu, Plymouth, UK.
"Very powerful. i like it alot, the chill factor is what i like most about it, keep up the good work!" -- Mule.
"I'd have to say this is one of your best and that it has a real 'sense of finality'." -- Amy, Clevedon, North Somerset.
"i liked this one, it was very deep & got me thinking. it had a snese of beauty to it" -- nikki, bc, canada.
"When the trigger goes click, the coroners report will not read "attempted suicide". Well done!" -- Brian O Neil.
"Not all clicks end in death Brian. Many people who chicken out just before the click end up moving the gun enough to not kill themselves and they end up either a vegetable or just paralyzed. Either way, a burden on their loved ones. Suicide is a cowards way out. I like the piece, Rowan." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.


The War: What Next? by Musaum (3)
"Don't like it. To stuck on the rhyme, and you loose the meaning. Sorry." -- Sylvia.
"Lets face it, the only children crying and running in the streets with bombs falling on their heards, are Iraqi. And it has no rhythm. " -- Peter Rivendell.
"I am glad people are asking who did it?Because i am sure that in time all people will see that these crimes were controlled from within our very own countries by the ones we are trusting.Many many people are waking to the great illusion.Keep asking,and watch who you trust.Peace..." -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast.


Rising Angel by Stuart Eric Longridge (3)
"Very nice. I like your take on good and evil, and where it lurks. Lost me a little on the ending, but that is just me." -- Sylvia.
"I posted my response at Beautiful Little One. You might want to check it out." -- Sylvia.
"a nicely written piece, but a little too intilectual (deep) for me. Can I suggest using the other font that is provided. this typed font is unbecoming. Just leave the settings as they have them before you submitt. It also serves as a nice presentation for lyric and poem contests, which you should enter." -- Brian O Neil.


The Airforce Of Nature by August Nyghts (1)
"Love the "battle-of-amour" line!" -- tessa.


Night Life by August Nyghts (4)
"The last line cracked me up! Definitely a different twist on the subject- Hmmmmm... Most vampires aren't tan. It's kind of comical- if you took out some lines (the fiance and the number parts), and worked on it a bit- it could give me chills instead of giggles. Just my thoughts. ;) " -- Tessa.
"I am not changing the last line! but i considered your rant about the skin color. :) thanks for the pointers." -- August.
"No! Don't change the last line! I love it! I like the other changes, they work much better!" -- Tessa.
"The last line was great, but you should work on the flow a bit. It is rather choppy throughout. Nonetheless, welcome to the world of vampyre." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.


My Birds In Paradise by August Nyghts (4)
"Sounds like the bird of paradise flew up someone's nose - hate that. think you left the word 'be' out of supposed to heaven." -- Just A Guy.
"hey thanks Just A Guy for the "be". I needed it. :)" -- August.
"God forbid you needed and didn't get it - glad to help. " -- JAG.
"I can feel your anger burning!" -- Tessa.


In The Morning by August Nyghts (3)
"I like this! I know about those dreams you just want to be so real. I've been having them nightly lately! PS- you might want to fix the spelling to "intertwined"." -- Tessa.
"Keep dreaming, never know who's around the next corner ready to turn the dreams to reality. Nice piece." -- Just A Guy.
"Thanks JAG, dreams are nice but reality is much sweeter and I miss that." -- August.


He Says by August Nyghts (1)
"August Darlin' - you really are looking for a saint not a b/f i think - actually i could go along with most of that except cleaning the clothes and dishes. ah well, no one's perfect. i do like this." -- Just A Guy.


And Then by August Nyghts (3)
"I see the end of this has fallen to the cutting room floor." -- JK.
"yeah- i figured i did not need a constant reminder of just how good i was to him. :)" -- August.
"I know the feeling. A girl kissed me in Kindergarten class. She kissed me again in 4th grade. She missed me in 7th grade and throughout high school. Freshman year at college---BAM. We were together. It didn't work out though. " -- R. Bennett OKerstrom.


No One by August Nyghts (3)
"Awwwwwwwwww..." -- tessa.
"I really like this. You've captured a lot of little things that are so easily taken for granted." -- Molly B.
"thank you ladies. " -- august.


Afraid Of Buildings by Peter Rivendell (3)
"Peter, this is quite real - I think all of us at one time or another get this feeling and you captured it quite well. I'm a bit surprised this didn't elicit more comments." -- Just A Guy.
"I can relate to this,as im stuck in London,not too happy at the moment,too much rubbish happening.It just goes to show humans are not meant to live within the concrete.Nice" -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast.
"Peter, despite my tirade on Kendalls site I do really enjoy this piece. Intensively evocative and as 'Just a guy' says something we all experience. Not sure about the 'cold wet streets uselessly welcoming' doesn't quite flow though." -- me.


Sarcophagus by Peter Rivendell (2)
"Fantastic. I read it, then I read it again slower, and one more time. It's fantastic, really. Nothing more I can say." -- Sylvia.
"a very good poem filled with nice imagery. It is also very sad for I came close to losing my own child and in a way I can relate." -- Nikky Epperly.


Heaven Is Hell's Fire by Jeffrey (George) Winter (6)
"I like this a lot, i think i understand what your trying to say,we create our own heaven or hell right here.Nice" -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast.
"Well written, with such a fundamental truth ... by our actions, or inactions, are we judged, what we do on this plane comes back to us threefold, good or bad ..." -- Judith.
"Thanks, Stuart. The idea of course isn't mine though to some extent the experience is. You're take is pretty discerning. Alexander Kalimiros wrote a fascinating piece about heaven, hell and judgment and where our ideas concerning those matters come from. It goes by the name "River of Fire", is well worth the read revealing quite a bit more and is easily enough found on the web. " -- Jeff.
"Did you mean to capitalize the word "heart" in the 3rd portion? Other than that, I thought it was brilliant." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"Yes, R. Bennet, Heart is capitailized to indicate God's heart...and thanks for the compliment!" -- Jeff.
"Wow, Jeff, interesting. Love burns, hell burns, God's love burns, interesting ideas. Intriguing, it's all I can say. " -- Shelley, Fullerton, California, USA.


Tease by Tessa (8)
"Suggestion: "Before I tear them apart" will flow better if it were "Before I tear them all apart" -- the rest is excellent!" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"Tease, tease, tease. Except for with me. Please, please, please. You won't hear from me. Cease, cease, cease. The whole day with me. Knees, knees, knees. Your on in front of me." -- The Devil.
"Great job Tessa, i think you have the devil all screwed up. Nasty guy he is though." -- Just A Guy.
"R. Bennett Okerstrom: Thanks again! Suggestion taken. Mr. D: Oh re-he-he-he-eally?!?! Allow me to retort- Am I not driving YOU insane? How long have YOU been playing this game? Uh-huh. Thought so! On my knees? Baby please, playing you- my expertise. Chasing me on this site, to your darkness you invite. And yet, I stay- in the light, and you continue to lose this fight. So, I continue to tease, tease, tease until you get on YOUR knees, knees, knees and beg ME Baby, please, please, please. :P JAG- It's pretty fun messing with the Devil. He's not so bad, just really determined." -- Tessa.
"Tessa i think you stated it beautifully, that devil of yours needs alittle H2O to keep from burning himself up. my screen is starting to sizzle from the heat being blasted from his libido. tease him long enough and he might just Implode." -- August.
"nice work, enjoyed the story, and a nice finish to the poem!" -- ryon, waller, Tx, U.S..
"Wonderful!!!!!" -- Michelle.
"You see how I bring out the rhythm and rhyme in you Tessa? Just imagine what will happen when we combine that rhythmic passion and become one...talk about an explosion...." -- The Devil.


Your Own Shadow by David B Doc Byron (5)
"Wow cool poem...one suggestion...instead of "We hear the beating, beneath the chest, then we sip the wine, that fills the chest." maybe use "we hear the beating beneath the vest then sip the wine that fills the chest" just an idea so u dont repeat chest. Good work! " -- Michelle.
"I looooooooooove this!!" -- tessa.
"Nice suggestion Michelle. Perhaps also, "We hear the heart, and feel unrest. Then sip the wine, that fills the chest."" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"Yep I like that too :)" -- Michelle.
"This one is my new favorite, Doc!!!! ... and I like R Bennett's suggestion" -- Judith.


Waste by Tessa (20)
"Tessa, thought this was good and would leave it alone except perhaps you could add some of your own special qualities besides looks to show a contrast between the two of you ..." -- Judith.
"I wouldn't add anything about you, I'd say more about him. Expand on what you have already started..." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"Judith, this poem was all about him, his outside beauty wasted on the emptiness within. Not about me. R. Bennett Okerstrom- I think I may just leave it as it is, but I'm not sure yet." -- Tessa.
"there are so many of them walking among us...congratulations on having radar equipment that works." -- August.
"...and for a profound ability to capture it with words :)" -- August.
"August- Thanks for the compliment! Alas, sometimes my radar works kind of slow! And you know, stealth bombs sometimes get through... " -- Tessa.
"I know all too well about the stealth bombers....may they stay away from friendly air space for awhile." -- August.
"Oops ... thought you were referring to yourself in the first two lines, if not, then don't fix it, it ain't broken!" -- Judith.
"I *wish* I could refer to myself that way!" -- tessa.
"It's a good thing that I'm the whole package! Not a thing here to waste." -- The Devil.
"And how does The Devil have a heart, a soul, a conscience and, most of all- any goodness?!?! An impossibility! Especially when your entire goal right now is to corrupt my soul and lure me into your darkness!" -- Tessa.
"I am the total package. Dark or not. You'll see." -- The Devil.
"the story thickens....the devil is insistent....the maiden uncharitable to the devils cause....he follows her...she stands firm in the light...he calls to her....she knows it is not right....will she grow weak from the constant temptaion from the devil and cross over into darkness...or will she call upon Shekin the only angel in heaven that can turn her prince of darkness into one of light?....." -- August.
"temptaion = temptation " -- August.
"August- You are hilarious! I looked up Shekin... Pretty cool powers! Are the Devil and I entertaining you? I see you're following our story! Ah, Shekin- I pray to you to make the Devil see the light- make him good, take away his darkness so that I can give him my heart and not corrupt my soul in the process. Devil- Hmmmm... Thanks for sticking up to me under the Advisor and the not-so-nice review I got for Tease. You may have a heart after all... Keep an eye out for an angel named Shekin. ;)" -- Tessa.
"Tessa- Haven't checked in on you in awhile. Had to get behind you on the crap with Innagroove. Other than that, your new stuff is really good. " -- Flipanmc.
"Shekin, Schmekin. There isn't enough light in the world to turn me. You're mine now. Admit it." -- The Devil.
"Flipanmc- Long time, no poem! Where are you? I like you're light-hearted funny junior high writing style! Brings me back to the good old daze ;) Didn't get to see if you posted on that crap, the posts were deleted, but if you did- thanks! The Devil- Yours,I am not and I will never be. The Light continues to protect me. To be yours means eternal damnation and again I reject your dark invitation. Until you turn from darkness to light, our explosive passions will never ignite. You may have to concede and find another prey, because with me you may never have your way. ;p" -- Tessa.
"Appears that you needed to alleviate some quick pain or let out a sudden scream in this poem, it did the job... I thought it to be as impactive as possible in 20 words and straight-forward!!! One final note, I'm working on "Dark Days" (part 2) and the reason the character development isn't all that in "Veiled Enigmas" is because I had written it for a magazine and had to keep the scenes a certain length... it did take away the imagery and development. " -- Reagan Rothe, H-Town.
"Thanks Reagan... a sudden scream, indeed! Looking forward to another magic carpet ride in Dark Days 2!" -- Tessa.


They Called Them Black by Toluwalope Olugbenga Ogunlesi (1)
"Well done, fine piece of work here! keep writing, more fun than mixing potions in some pharmacy!" -- Monte.


The Creator by The Birdman (2)
"Yep!We create our own reality.Good work." -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast .
"this story was very interesting, NOT! i though it was kind of silly, and out of place. i dont want to be mean or anything but this site has many good writers and we want to keep it that way. so if you can take a hint you know what to do. i'm not saying to kill yourself, i'm saying dont every post on this site again. --thanks a million Richard" -- Richard, RIchardson, Tenn, USA.


The Chimera by Tunde Alabi-Hundeyin Ii (2)
"I like your choice of words, especiially your use of simiilies ("Like a deer- shot in the limb; Ln.1-2) and and methaphors. However i believe you last line of the poem kills the intensity of the second to the last line. I supose use of '...' in the second to the last line is to express the lingering of your pain from the heartbreak. Nothwithstanding, your choice of words has effectively described the 'intensity' of your heartbreak. Your use of the exclamation mark in Ln 12 also reveals not only your helplessness but also your frustrations and hopelessness "Woman, love is all I crave!" One can view the arrow shot at the deer and begin to imagine the heartbreak 'NO' has caused. Your choice of the upper case for 'NO' also reveals the intensity of the girl's words. You have succeded in expressing the themes of helplessness, heartbreak, and frustration one expreiences from 'a love unreturned'. Why the choice of "The Chimera" for the poem's title, fine it may sugesst that it is a events of the day ia a mere daydream but it kills the seriousness of the poem. I suggest another title. Well done." -- Bilewomo Ademilola, Nigeria.
"the poem is touching and i'm sure those who have experienced rejection will understand why you used a capital NO but why the title?" -- bukola adeyemo, lagos, lagos, nigeria.


Stolen Kiss by Tessa (9)
"My, my Tessa such a hot story. Can hear Orleans, Dance With Me, playing as you describe your fantasy. Hungry little lady aren't we? Might want to consider taking the me from after flashed and change the when in the next line to then just to break it up but changes or not this is really good." -- Just A Guy.
"Make the "no" in the last line "nothing." :-)" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"Psssst. It's me, the Devil. So, you think fate will keep us apart do you? Even fate can't stop us. My sharp tongue awaits our next encounter." -- The Devil.
"It is rather disturbing to be commenting after the Devil. Hmmm, I really like this piece. Has an animal instinct, rapture thing to it. Better go quick now. I think I hear my song playing." -- Sylvia.
"JAG, R. Bennett- Suggestions taken- thanks! Devil- My, my, my... always tempting me aren't you? Sylvia- It feels good to give in to instinct, and this was a night I gave in & broke some of my rules and was a baaaaaaaaaad girl. See what happens when you're bad? The Devil takes notice! ;)" -- tessa.
"Tessa & the Devil- I sense the heat between you two. Descriptive and erotic. Great poem." -- Valerie, Warren, MI, USA.
"Valerie- Thanks for the compliment. The heat between us is pretty apparent, huh? Damn Devil... Such a hottie... " -- Tessa.
"WAS apparent." -- The Devil.
"Yeah, WAS apparent is right." -- Tessa.


Steam Heat by Judith Goff (6)
"Very nice Judith...nice style, too :)" -- Michelle, Atlanta.
"Thank you, Michelle ... I was beginning to wonder where everyone was!" -- Judith.
"Judith, I like your analogies, so fluid and visually pleasing, favorite lines " first stanza/verse, "imagination drips like honey" Oh! so sweet keep up the good work!" -- Monte.
"Thank you, as always Monte ... The old pc was down for a bit, but I'm back at it, hoping to improve as I go along ... " -- Judith.
"One of the most easily readable and flowing poems I've ever read... YET, still stimulating and makes me think of a hot, passionate night in the bed!! Great work, Judith!" -- Reagan, Houston, TX, USA.
"Thank you so much, Reagan, and I WILL get to your story very soon !" -- Judith.


St Valentine's Curse by Rowan Davies (1)
"This was a good poem. A little weird, but good" -- Steven T.


Soaked In Deja-Vu by Stuart Eric Longridge (2)
"Don't really understand the photon streams, but the message is loud, clear and very, very pertinent! I really like your work ..." -- Judith.
"Thank you Judith im actually learning off some off the things you write.The photon belt is a 2000 year band of pure information light which we are about to enter as a solar system,and when we do the old dark evil energy on earth cannot exist,you should look it up on the internet,there is a lot about it.Thanks." -- Stuart Eric Longridge.


Skins by David B Doc Byron (5)
"My interpretation is that the man is dreaming of his past love (who has died... maybe?) I was intrigued and I loved the verse "Now there is only this coldness I have to wear like skin"... -- Line 2, 'Dialtaed'. Is this supposed to be 'Dialated'?" -- Reagan Rothe, Houston, TX, USA.
"Excellent Doc.... sent a cold chill through my body." -- Michelle.
"I think I understand this one, Doc ... very powerful" -- Judith.
"Nice work. I can see it being a bit logner though." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"LONGER...jeeze." -- R. Bennett.


Secret Place 2 by Tunde Alabi-Hundeyin Ii (1)
"I like this a lot,if i run hunt me back to your secret place.Nice" -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast.


Sacrificial Lamb by Judith Goff (14)
"Delightfully sinister Judith!" -- Molly B.
"I've got chills..." -- Tessa.
"I hate to do this, but you have the bar set much higher than this. It is good, but it isn't Judith good. I have come to look for more passion and wanting in you pieces. Please, don't freak, but I felt a little used by this vamp, rather than wanted." -- Sylvia.
"I agree with Tessa; it gave me cold chills, and that doesnt happen too often. By the way, check out new titles when you get a chance; Im a movie reviewer now!" -- david ''doc'' byron, vincennes, usa, ind.
"Thank you,Molly ... sinister is what I was hoping for!" -- Judith.
"Hope the chills were delicious ones, Tessa ..." -- Judith.
"Sorry this one didn't do it for you, Sylvia ... when versing this, the feeling I had was cold, not hot ... deadly cold, but as always, your honest review is much appreciated!" -- Judith.
"Thank you Doc ... will check out your new one soon ... promise" -- Judith.
"The only part of this I wasn't keen on is the last line. It felt like an un-needed reveal. I'd like to see this trust in the words to tell the story, they do, beautifully. " -- Sooz, Dalton-in-furness, England, Cumbria.
"Took your advice, Sooz ... changed the last bit, if you read this give me your opinion!" -- Judith.
"Vivid, Spine-tingling, impeccably perfect in sending the message of the Sacrificial Lamb!!! Great piece of work Judith... With the high-levels you take your dark and twisted writing styles, I think you would enjoy "Veiled Enigmas"!" -- Reagan, Houston, Texas, USA.
"Amazing...again and again..." -- Michelle.
"Reagan, promise I will get to your story ... tonight!" -- Judith.
"Thank you, Michelle, your enjoyment of my work gratifies!" -- Judith.


Reverie by Judith Goff (6)
"An aching and poetic account of love�I like it." -- salai g prit, uk.
"Thank you, Salai" -- Judith.
"Sweet. What can I say? Another gift from the gifted. " -- Dennis Kanan.
"Dennis, you always bring a smile to my face ... thank you" -- Judith.
"I yearn for the same love Judith... But I think it will be neither (Die without you). The 'passion' has left and will not return, death may be the only option. I was intrigued and very eager to keep reading and get to the ending... Another great piece!!!" -- Reagan Rothe, Houston, TX, USA.
"Thank you, Reagan ... This is one of a few pieces written to try to cope with my soulmate's suicide almost two years ago ... read Requiem and Post Mortem " -- Judith.


Psychedelic Travels by Ryon Smith (4)
"An awe-inspiring quest without an end and with mysteries left "unraveled". I truly did enjoy this piece of writing and would like to suggest a follow up on the man and his path of destiny!!! Also, maybe you can increase your complexity and the surrealness of the surroundings... " -- Reagan Rothe, Houston, TX, USA.
"I really like this,i believe poetry should be like this, off higher mind,not just certain issues.I try to write pieces like this ,you might like some of them.Peace." -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast.
"Makes the reader have to think. Good work." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"Interesting and thought provoking piece Ryon, thanks for taking me along for the ride! Give us more like this..." -- Monte.


Predator by Judith Goff (11)
"Reminds me of a scene from a story I read." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"Hey Babe! Good stuff as usual. But, I'll have to agree with RB; it reminds me of a story I read once, and after he took her, she cut his eyes out!" -- david doc byron, vinceenes, usa, ind.
"Judith, I like this one a lot. Very easy to visualize." -- Molly B.
"Good stuff!I think I saw this guy at the bar the other night! I managed to escape though. ;)" -- Tessa.
"Yes, R Bennett ... too bad the story was unfinished ..." -- Judith.
"Oh Doc, you are SO bad !!!! Thanks!" -- Judith.
"Thanks, Tessa, but if you encounter THIS guy ... RUN!!!!!!!!" -- Judith.
"As always, Molly B, thank you" -- Judith.
"This runs along similar lines to my 'Pact of Joy' we certainly saw the same fella in the same pub I think :-) nice one Jude, very aptmospheric. " -- Sooz, Dalton-in-furness, England, Cumbria.
"Sooz, glad to see you back! very happy you liked this one, thank you ..." -- Judith.
"The images and imagination that follows can be overwhelming, you leave me with an open-mind to the horrors that can fall on someone so suddenly... brilliant Judith!!! I don't know how much you are on Storymania anymore, but I've added some new works, would love to hear from you!" -- Reagan Rothe, Texas.


Of Love And Of Thy Compassion... by Reagan Rothe (21)
"You were right!!! I did really enjoy this piece!!! I wish there was more... I'll be looking for more poetry from you and I'm planning to read Veiled Enigmas!!! Incredible writing!" -- Kristan, Rhode Island.
"Reagan ... I very much enjoyed this piece, I hope you'll post more!!! Be sure to check out more of my poetry and leave me some comments!" -- Judith.
"Thanks for the immediate review Judith; I'm glad you enjoyed it!!! I'm beginning to read your works a couple a day and will leave individual reviews... If you have time (being dark and twisted) you might read "Veiled Enigmas". I think you will love it!!!" -- Reagan, Houston, Texas, USA.
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNice!!!!!!! I loved it!!!!" -- William, T-Town, Dubs.
"I loved the poem! It has great structure and great meaning. I was wondering if you and I could go out sometime and read poetry together. Maybe this can help me woe my girl into things we've never experienced. Hope to hear from you. And keep the writing up! I enjoy reading your work. Enjoyed Veiled Enigmas. I can picture you reading it to me from your chair. It's so fabulous." -- JR, Houston, TX.
"Reagan, this was really good. I have read your other works and am not suprised by this one's greatness. Lots of Love. MD" -- MD, San Angelo, TX.
"Thank you for all the reviews... JR- Your review means a lot because I know how much you are in touch with your feminine side... MD- Thank you, it means a lot, I'll keep you updated on any new works!!!" -- Reagan, Houston, Texas, Pimpin'.
"Reagan, I can't make heads or tails of what you are saying, so it must be a great poem. Love, Dad" -- Walt Rothe, D'Hanis, TX, USA.
"YOUR REALLY SEXY CAN I PLAY WITH YOUR LONGFELLOW, YOU KNOW WHERE MY ROOM IS...... YOUR SECRET ADMIRER......" -- charlie brown, houston, tx, usa.
"Reagan, it was beautiful, at least what I could understand, cannot believe you can write like that! Love, mom" -- Lindy Wheeler, D'Hanis, USA, Tx.
"Thanks to everyone who takes the time to review!! A necessity that is not used as much as it should be... you review my writings on a regular basis, I will gladly review yours and read yours. Thanks all!!!" -- Reagan Rothe, Houston, TX, USA.
"Are you making up these reviews, Reagan? Because this poem isn't that great, i'm sorry! " -- Danny.
"This was nice piece...and I do wonder if "Danny" from the previous review has posted anything or just enjoys giving what I would consider unkind and certainly not constructive reviews...keep writing Reagan:) " -- mandi.
"I read "Dark Days" first, and I can see the similiarity in writing, but from DEATH/HORROR to ROMANCE... incredible poem, it was solid!" -- J.J. , NY, NY.
"I agree with Mandi...Danny needs to look up the word "constructive" Reagan, this was an interesting read-i like the style. " -- August.
"You definitely have an interesting style and I enjoyed this poem. Had to really think about each line to decipher their meaning- Loved the line about Icarus! Write on! " -- Tessa.
"Reagan, I really like your poetry. You have a lot of talent. I don't seem to be able to understand much of your stories, but I'm sure that's just because of where I am. Keep writing, you are wonderful. Love Marsha" -- Marsha, Dallas, Texas, USA.
"Rothe...nice piece. I wasn't fond of the Shakesperian verbiage but it ends up fitting well within the poem. The mention of Icarus was delightful and made this endearing. D.G. " -- D. G. Williford.
"Man... I had to look up words and all kinds of shit, but it was freakin' off the chain, best poem I've ever read fo' sure!" -- Tyren CJ, D-Town, TX.
"You have a very well writing poem it captures the love and compassion of things you never knew that you had love and compassion for." -- Lance Neumann, college station, TX, U.S..
"Most magnificent, the recollection of high school Shakespeare and Lord Byron come crystal clear in my mind!!! I loved it more than my words can show!" -- EJ Hennings , The Province.


Mezmerized by Judith Goff (3)
""Mezmerized" is mesmerizing!!! I surrender as well... the poem draws you in and forces you to succumb to the "giving pleasure, incredible pain"..." -- Reagan Rothe, Houston, TX, USA.
"Darkness is very seductive .... Thank you, Reagan ... started reading your post 'Dark Days'last night, will finish and critique today (:o[" -- Judith.
"My damnation is sealed with your blood kiss." -- Stuart Eric Longridge.


Lily The Dog by August Nyghts (3)
"This was hilarious! Had me rolling! " -- Tessa.
"I'm sitting here laughing my butt off too. Those JRTs are oh so cute, but they are total terrors!" -- Molly B.
"Thanks Ladies....I am plotting my revenge...perhaps another poem will come of it. thanks again" -- August.


In The Eventide by Judith Goff (6)
"An absolutely beautiful tribute Judith!" -- Monte.
"Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Monte" -- Judith.
"Very special poem,i was seeing it perfectly as i read.Night times balm of forgetfulness. " -- Stuart Eric Longridge.
"Thank you, Stuart ... some losses linger with us forever" -- Judith.
"Overwhelmingly inpiring poem from deep down within the soul!!! Touching, warming, and gut-wrenching all in one!!! Great job... Judith! -- I added a new piece this morning "Lies to Succumb to Her Passion"... a must read :) !" -- Reagan Rothe, H-Town.
"*Inspiring poem... my head hurts, must stop reading and writing for awhile!!!" -- Reagan Rothe, H-Town.


In Honor Of Columbia by Amy Poet (1)
"Normally I despise poetry, especially rhyming poetry, but I like this one. I'll check out your web-site." -- Innagroove.


Illumination by Tessa (22)
"Love those guardian angels and happy endings. Nice to have the good guys win one. " -- Just A Guy.
"So you think. Just remember: He isn't as good as me. You'll see." -- The Devil.
"And still The Devil tempts..." -- Tessa.
"dear devil, LA-HOO ZA-HER. please try again later- your chances, however will only be less favorable than they are now. TESSA likes the light and grows stronger by the second. I hear she has a chamber she keeps for those lost souls who try to capture her golden heart. maybe you could apply for some space before the deadline is up. perhaps you could even be accepted -she has a weakness for talented writers you know. :)" -- August.
"My dear August. You have no idea how wrong you simply are. I am even closer than ever now. The light was only a mere temporary sanctuary. Tessa will be engulfed in the darkness that is The Devil very soon. Her lustful craving grows deeper as we speak. I will not be denied and she will finally be set free from her past." -- The Devil.
"Dear Mr. Devil, the light-when sought and found-is never temporary, on the contrary it is in fact -Eternal. Similar to your darkness, i assume. Darkness hides things...casts a shadow so you can not see clearly, where light will show you without prejudice what stands before you. The beauty in having light Mr. D is that you can still walk within the shadows.....Fearless. something I think our friend Tessa has come to understand. I question now what could the devil be hiding from and perhaps Tessa has gathered enough light to share some with you." -- August-the unholy roller.
"Touche! Yet I am still unaffected by your rhetoric. Tessa knows everything there is to know about me. The good, the bad, the indifferent. I do not have to hide. I am completely revealed and yet I remain just as powerful as before. Perhaps you also need to pay a visit to the darkness August. I think it would do you some good." -- The Devil.
"The Devil- I see you're trying to lure August into your darkness now... August- The Devil is right. I know all there is about him. He is mighty powerful and still haunts and controls my dreams. Note that I said my *dreams* Mr. D, for that is where you continue to reside. ;p" -- Tessa.
"I was born on the darker end of the wild side....so i visit quite frequently....though it has been awhile...you two have been an inspiration of sorts....I want my own red hot devil now, complete with bloody fangs, spike horns and melting words of sinful temptation, can you get them on the home shopping network yet or do i still need to go snatch one up at City Club? (hehehehe)...well, anyway Tessa watch out - a devil is as a devil does." -- August.
"August- Drawn back into the darkness, are you? Careful what you wish for- a devil may not give you the Delicate Pureness you're looking for In The Morning! Primal Passions, maybe! And- City Club, huh? Been going there since I was 15! Though I grew out of the goth devils years ago!" -- Tessa.
"I can not help the fact that I am a Diabolical Angel ;) city club is a joke..." -- August.
"So- are you the angel Acheliah that posted under Haunted?!?!" -- Tessa.
"No Darlin you have someone else looking in on you.Hmmmm...another admirer perhaps...." -- August.
"Ha ha! City Club! Is it even still there? I think the last time I was there was in around 1993 or 94. Scary." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"I wonder if I ever ran into you! I was there mostly in '90-'92 though and didn't go again until '01-present. Once in awhile I go to see Ritchie Hawtin spin. Strange that it's not all goth anymore but full of ravers! The decor remains the same though- every inch black! And it's still open til 4am!" -- tessa.
"I went there a lot from like 88-93 or 94. We never stayed long. We couldn't. A fight always seemed to find us somehow." -- R. Bennett.
"I have been there 3-4 times in my life. I like the 4am hour...2am is never quitting time, afterward you can have breakfast downstairs. " -- August.
"Hmmmmm... The 3 of us- all City Clubbers, all poets, all from Detroit?!?! We most definitely need to chill together. Maybe pay a visit to City Club and write some vampyre poems- the perfect ambiance for it, don't you think? August, I'm going to see if you've got an e-mail address posted- we should definitely talk!" -- Tessa.
"i look forward to hearing from you. and i would love an opportunity to hang out." -- August.
"Sorry Tessa, but I can't accept that offer because A) I have a girlfriend and B) I dont hang out in places like City Club anymore. Thanks anyway!!" -- R. Bennett.
"R. Bennett- Awwww, aren't you the ever faithful boyfriend! Lucky girl to have someone so loyal! It's all good- I think I like the idea of not meeting any of the writers on this site, keeps a mystery to the authors behind such personal works. " -- Tessa.
"pls i need to work with u i did a computer am working with the CMN abeokuta nicon insurance building oke ilewo gov. Daniel eku ise ooooooooooooooooooo" -- akanbi olawunmi, abeokuta, ogun, nigeria.


Furious by Tessa (10)
"Some might say that this is a bit scary...if this guy turns up dead, you're the main suspect!" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"Even more reason to put your trust in me." -- The Devil.
"Whoa mama - guess he's not coming to sunday dinner huh? But look on the bright side - he gave you a great, graphic poem. Nice going." -- Just A Guy.
"You really need to find a way to express yourself. No really. Really. Ok, so you don't like him much, but how do you feel? (Sarcasm done now) Only one thing I would suggest: This guy should move to Neptune! Good work." -- Sylvia.
"i hope u're just joking and having a nice time writing a nice poem" -- tolu ogunlesi, nigeria.
"Put it to you this way- he broke my doors in half, busted my windows in, $2,000 worth of damage was done to my car & worst of all, he took away my carefree spirit... But, at least I'm venting with words, and not actions, huh? " -- Tessa.
"!@#* that #*@%ing guy! He @#!$ing SUCKS A$$. oh.... and NICE job on the poem- great release. " -- august.
"August- I wanted to drop the F-Bomb quite a few times in this poem! And yes, it felt oh-so-good to write it. I would send him a copy but I have a PPO on him and any contact from me would void it out, I think." -- Tessa.
"You wouldn't want to make contact with him with this piece or your Personal Protection Order would surely be voided." -- R. Bennett.
"R. Bennett- Thanks. I figured as much. That, and he would probably be granted a PPO against ME after reading this! ;O" -- Tessa.


Epilogue by Judith Goff (9)
"This is the first time I've actually reviewed your work Judith, but it has all been an enlightening experience!!! Speaking on behalf of all your work, I love the dark and twisted concepts shaken into poetic brilliance!!! Thank you for your work... please read "Of Love and of Thy Compassion" if you get a chance!" -- Reagan Rothe, Houston, Texas, USA.
"Reagan ... high praise, indeed ... I read your poem and have posted a review. Hope you'll post more soon!" -- Judith.
"Nice work, especially the 4th and 5th lines. I feel you on this!" -- Tessa.
"Really nice Judith, a different style for you....I like it a lot!" -- Michelle.
"I like this Judith. Very different!" -- Molly B.
"Thanks, Tessa ... we all get to the point of, if not exactly surrender, at least forfit!" -- Judith.
"Still experimenting with styles .. this one just came to me. Glad you like it, Molly B" -- j.
"Thanks, Michelle!" -- Judith.
"I'm rather late in getting to this, but still treading a little carefully around here. I can relate to all those emotions so well! Very nice Judith! Sure do miss you around here." -- JM.


End Time Rhyme by Stuart Eric Longridge (2)
"I don't know exactly what to say, except that it didn't really interest me much... The impactive points of the poem were not impacting, and the second verse (nut-tutt) killed it early!! I will try to read more of your work to get a better view of what I'm expecting... I applaud the efforts." -- Reagan Rothe, Houston, TX, USA.
"Hi, Stu ... liked this one a lot ... end times are here, my man!" -- Judith.


Daddy Ain't No Man No More by Rowan Davies (1)
"This was really clever, still laughing at the thought. Wonder if the urge to scratch is stil there though." -- Just A Guy.


Come What May by Stuart Eric Longridge (1)
"I have read quite a few of your works- I like the way you think... but sometimes, like in the last stanza in this one, you lose me. Also, may I suggest that you use spell check?" -- tessa.


Cabin Fever by August Nyghts (2)
"And? Go ahead and finish it!" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"Hmmmmmmmmm....." -- August.


Bang!Bang!Bang! by Toluwalope Olugbenga Ogunlesi (2)
"Wonderfully written, excellent metophors!!!!!! Read "war, need I say more" by Michelle. Tell me what u think. Its no where near as metophoric as this but it holds my mind today and I wanted to share my feelings on the subject." -- Michelle.
"Some great imagery here, and packed with meaning. Like it." -- Peter Rivendell.


Africa My Africa by Toris Okotie (1)
"oshare!ma vo?doooo...two thumbs up!" -- O.kennedy, abraka, delta, nigeria.


A Prayer To Gaia by Stuart Eric Longridge (1)
"Stuart, I really like this, just a few spelling errors but spell-check would remedy that ... "Cleanse our sins with karma And breathe eternally"... unfortunately our karma is not very good on this earth ..." -- Judith.


Dance Floor Snap Shot by August Nyghts (1)
"The dreaded "get me one too." Ouch." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.


I'm A Pharmacist,Not A Poet by Toluwalope Olugbenga Ogunlesi (1)
"I believe you are a poet, whose trade is pahrmacy. You are inately a poet, whose writings are far beyond your years. Your images and metaphors are wonderful. PLease stay incontinant." -- Elizabeth Santos, Pottstown, Pa, USA.


Why Me by Mine Able (4)
"Capitals, punctuation, mixing present tense and past tense, no pattern and yet not freeform. It still needs work. You have an outline for a good poem here, polish it." -- Sylvia.
"I`d simply echo Sylvia`s comments. For now, it`s a promising early version." -- Peter Rivendell.
"Oh the memories we shared aren't they grand. " -- anonymous.
"I agree with Sylvia and Peter. This poem needs work. " -- Steven T.


Why I Got High, Ran Away, And Just Generally Screwed Myself Up by Pearl S (2)
"I'm so sad that you are so confused. I feel your pain in your literary expression. I believe you have misunderstood what was expected from you. I do believe you realized your responsibility now, although it sounds like you have some bridges to mend first. You sound so much like so many 9th grade English I kids I teach everyday. Your change needs to benefit your future, not destroy it!!!" -- Kathryn L. Comte, Woodville, TX, USA.
"thank you. im working on it now and have been for awhile, but sometimes it gets very unpleasant. " -- pearl.


Unending Rain by Peter Rivendell (1)
"Nice work...like the structure a lot!" -- Michelle.


Twenty Children Can't Play For Twenty Years by Toluwalope Olugbenga Ogunlesi (1)
"impressive!keep it up..." -- kennedy, lagos.


Transformation by Judith Goff (6)
"I give up for the night. I'll re-read this tomorrow. I think it looks good, but you know I have to come up with something witty. Screw it, you did good kid!" -- Sylvia.
"Thanks, Sylvia ... I hope you DO read it again, I think this is something you would like" -- Judith.
"Back to what you do best!" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"Just can't stay away from the darkness, R Bennett ... " -- Judith.
"No math, no spelling tests, no science projects. I re-read it, and I do like it. Almost seductive, but in a creepy way." -- Sylvia.
"Thanks, Sylvia ... the darkside IS seductive!" -- Judith.


Traces Of You by Judith Goff (9)
"I really like the opening line, good job" -- August.
"Thank you, August" -- Judith.
"Judith, Like I told someone else once just because you don't see them doesn't mean they are not there. As someone once sang, "Sometimes the very thing you're looking for is the one thing you can't see"." -- JM.
"This is something of a tribute to several of the ones I have lost ... and oh yes, I see them in my dreams ... Thank you, JM" -- Judith.
"Could you appreciate the beauty without the ugly? Each moment was created just for you. They're in it. Beautiful, and sad. You must be inspired as of late." -- Sylvia.
"Thank you, Sylvia ... And yes, I just can't seem to quit writing ....." -- Judith.
"I think you need to lose the "s" on the end of glistens, but I`m being picky. I think this is really good and would make a wonderful lyric." -- Peter Rivendell.
"I`ve just read it again, and I was wrong about the "s"! Sorry." -- Peter Rivendell.
"The opening was very solid, and the TRACES OF YOU definitely shine throughout the poem, enjoyed the piece Judith!" -- Reagan Rothe, Houston, TX.


They Set Us Free, A Collection by Toluwalope Olugbenga Ogunlesi (1)
"I am in awe ... there is beauty in every poem; your words flow like molasses on a summer day and I cannot for the life of me, choose a favorite!" -- Judith Goff.


The Real World by Stuart Eric Longridge (3)
"We grieve for our loss, not their leaving. Beautiful tribute." -- Sylvia.
"Now that is good form , Lad. Now, use this same form in your work ...then you'll hit the mark! Make the piece longer and add a chorus ..you get a damn good song!" -- Brian O Neil.
"Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., ....


The Great Pyramid Decoded A Bit.The Principal Facination Part 2 by Stuart Eric Longridge (1)
"Pretty crazy info,it hadnt clicked about the skin colour thing,though no one has yet been able to prove how or where the races split if we did emerge from the same source,something to think about,though it will be hard for those who hav`nt yet accepted that we are very much NOT ALONE HERE ON THE EARTH.Bring it on brother." -- Texas Tom, Land of the free.


Thats Entertainment by Stuart Eric Longridge (3)
"Just keep the phone or we may never hear from you. Wallsballs" -- HUE.
"Quite Ironic that u are talking about loosing technology, when i am only reading this because of technology!" -- Angela-fairleigh, melb, vic, Australia.
"Beautifully put!! Although maybe your opinion is a bit swayed by your appearant dificulties with gadgets." -- Amanda.


Storymania by R Bennett Okerstrom (26)
"Somehow, I couldnt agree more... I wish I could say anything really productive, but I guess I'm just your average hypocrit. I liked this, alot, for whatever its worth, and I agree." -- Miles Tugman.
"Thanks Miles. I'm expecting a bombardment of criticism from those people who this refers to. Those who are commfortable with their writing will understand what I'm saying just like you did." -- R. Bennett.
"Amen, R Bennett!" -- Judith.
"I love it!! It reflects my own opinion, and I'm in love with the comment on using a thesaurus for words they don't know. I applaud you - we do need more constructive critism from reviewers! " -- Law, UK.
"Oh boy, does this hurt having to take exception to RB and Judith all at one time. No problem with the criticism part - we probably all fall a bit short there at times. But some of us are new, still trying to find a voice or maybe just not all that good, so what, the site is here for anyone to use. It's fair to give a bad review when you want and that could be a good thing for the writer. Hey, that's my 2 cents, worth it or not. " -- Just A Guy.
"I'm not sure R Bennett was criticising new writers at all, JAG, I may be wrong ... I think he was referring to people who copycat other's works, there are a few of them, but only a few. As for bad reviews, yes, I think most of us welcome constructive criticism and it DOES help ... I for one, ENJOY positive reviews from readers and writers alike, it doesn't have to be a technical review at all! And sometimes there is simply nothing negative to say, and no suggestions to make ... by the way, a Thesaurus is a GOOD thing!" -- Judith.
"R.Bennett, You echo the thoughts of many of us who have tried in vain to be heard but are drowned out by the sound of silence on this board or put down for our efforts! You Sir, are a unique voice and I for one applaud you! I don't think this piece was directed toward JAG! Right?" -- Monte.
"Not in anyway. I like JAG's stuff. A bit unrefined at times, but he is just learning the ways...he'll only get better because he WANTS to. This wasn't directed at any one person. " -- R. Bennett.
"This just seems to be another echo from another writer who doesn't want to hear from us "casual readers." So, I will refrain from any critquing or commenting on your work R. Bennett. " -- Molly B.
"Please let me clarify. Because I cannot offer a constructive review/critique from a writer's POV, I will refrain from commenting a like or dislike for any of your other works." -- Molly B.
"That's not my point Molly. You can casually read something and say if you like/dislike it. You can give suggestions if you want. But please don't say you love it and paint a pretty picture if you really don't mean it. That's all I'm saying." -- R. Bennett.
"It was nice to see something that didn't look like it had been taken out of a book with big words! Finally! Something that was honestly about how someone feels, not how they think other people think they should feel. Relate to the newbies just starting out and their negative reviews, but think there was a self searching message in the work. Nice Job!" -- Jennifer, Stillwater, Oklahoma.
"Thanks. All of my work is about how I feel. I don't need books to borrow from. It comes from inside." -- R. Bennett.
"R, A friend of mine posts on here and this title caught my eye. I've just read your work- and it's pretty good writing, as ascertained by the reviews you get. But your ego is starting to show. If you think you're really that good and that much better than everyone else- why aren't you published? You should cut those that aren't as good as you some slack and a thesaurus is a great writing tool. It also sounds as though you are annoyed by ass kissers? As in the people giving you good reviews? I hope you cherish those reviews, or are you just so used to being so good? " -- BJ Lee, Venus, FL.
"The fact that I am good has nothing to do with this. If you read my work, then you know it is good. If you read the reviews I get, then you know I don't necessarily think it is THAT good. My point in this piece is not to discuss the reviews that I get, but rather, the reviews that the other people who WANT help are getting. I give a lot of reviews that contain constructive criticism along with what I think about the piece. You won't see me saying something is great if it isn't. That doesn't help the writer get better. The new writers on here are searching for advice and that's what I give them. If people think I'm good at it, I'm glad. I'm just trying to help." -- R. Bennett.
"By the way, I never said a thesaurus was a bad thing, it is just sometimes used incorrectly. " -- R. Bennett.
"R. Bennett, I speak strictly from a reader's point of view. You have no idea how difficult writing is for someone like me. I am in awe of your talent! I truly respect how you speak your mind without fear of what someone else might think. Though I would never say I liked something if I didn't, if I don't like someone's work, I simply don't comment on it. I could learn a lot from someone like you. Thanks for your honesty. " -- JM.
"This explains it all around here. I hope you don't mind that I posted this on "The Advisor" to get a point across." -- The Reviewer.
"Hey R. Bennett, pretty funny...And I wasn't kissing your ass either. I've been published--it's no big deal to be in an anthology though. I'm going to work on my own book; I suggest you do the same." -- Mia Angello, WI.
"If only I had the time, Mia." -- R. Bennett.
"amen...well said" -- e. rocco caldwell.
"I try" -- R. Bennett.
"I have to admit that this piece is actually brutally honest and I admire that. A lot of people do exactly what you have said. Someone needed to say it. Well done!" -- Stephanie J..
"Thanks Stephanie. " -- R. Bennett.
"Well... RB... I like your little poem... I think you hit on some very good points... I am new to storymania... But in the short time I have been posting I have figured out your poem before I read it... Once I made a statement;I do not read other peoples poetry... And that only showed what an ass I can be... Then I started judging a children s poetry contest at my local library... Now I am an avid reader of other peoples work... And I make a point of reading postings on this site and giving reviews... Maybe some of the older member don't give a _____ what I think... And you do not know how that hurts... Not... And I have found getting reviews is like pulling chicken's teeth... So I decided to post copies of reviews from close personals friends in my posting directory... Some may think this is arrogant of of me and refuse to give me reviews... This is in no means an attempt to be so... I love the good and bad work of other poets... And anyone who judges children s poetry must love it all... There is a complaint I have about this website that gets on my last nerve... And that is the monopoly put on title names... When the monopoly should be authors names and if they have a problem with that they can always change their name... And I do not understand how this website can be up running for all these years without rectifying this problem... By complains to the website managers to no end until the problem is fixed... They told me in an email they were going to fix the problem... I think we should all email and ask this question... When??? Sorry RB this took so long... I love reading your words....... BrokenWordsPoet....... " -- James W. Right Jr., Ruffin, SC, USA.
"I hear you James. The title monopoly is crazy. Takes away from the originality of what we write." -- R. Bennett.


Soul Of A Dove by Judith Goff (2)
""Dying to be free of my refuge" My refuge was hate. Each of us has our own though. I love the way you left it open for each one of us to give it our own meaning. Best one of your writings I've read yet. Beautiful work." -- Sylvia.
"Thank you, Sylvia, so much ...." -- Judith.


Saddam Hussein by R Bennett Okerstrom (4)
"Oh! You are about that! This guy is definitely out of time with no where to run! Hopefully, this time we will finish the job! " -- Monte.
"Two less kids to worry about!" -- The Reviewer.
"i agree..but at what price? and he wasn't the dictator of all his people- that is not the way of true islamic religion- but like all religions there is always a fanatic satanist out to twist the many truths the religion says to hold true to gain power...you only have to look at the vaticans...." -- kat, Aut..
"I stay out of the religious discussions. :-)" -- R. Bennett.


Prayer by Tessa (13)
"Interesting. I hope your prayer works. Temptation is evil at times. I'm curious to see the outcome." -- M..
"Outstanding work Tessa!!! I have a certain Angel I call upon in situations like yours. I will talk to her and see if shes available for you. She is usually very busy because there are alot of those dark souls roaming trying to convert the good into bad." -- August.
""Where I may suffer and my soul lost forever" I think you loose a little impact with the doubt of suffering. How about "Where I will suffer with my soul lost forever". Just a thought." -- Sylvia.
"Nice work. Your best yet. Don't be afraid of the darkness though. We have all grown to love it around here." -- R. Bennett .
"The angels are within,the devils are without.Try finding your God within,lucifer is material interest and obsession and it is an external force ,there is no God in the external world only sin,thats why we as humans are turning to what is within ,with our new age interests,meditation,healing,higher knowledge (not religious incomplete mistranslated,external teachings)but higher earth information ex Reiki etc.The darkness and fear in the world can only exist as long as we invite it into our lives ,the images we and our families watch for most of our day is to deliberaty induce fear so we create the negative fearfull paranoid world in which evil thrives.But we change it with just a choice and the choice is Love.There are Tyrants all over the world and we are led to hate them ,but the real devils are leading us at home.The world is changing for good but most cant see it because they are not alowed to .There is a change of consciousness happening thats why you feel uneasy and dissolusioned.But the existence of angels is very very real,and they exist in the 7th heaven the 7 higher dimensions above our 3rd dimensional level which makes up part of our dense world.Do not fear because they are with you, all you have to do is invite them into you and you will join the rest of the awake humans who make up the earth family of light.Peace Love Enlightenment my friend...I hope this helps. " -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast.
"M- I think I'm back on track now... August- I'm working on avoiding those dark ghouls!! Thanks for the offer- I may need to borrow your angel!! Sylvia- Thanks for the suggestion! It sounds much better now! R. Bennett- Thanks for the compliment! As for your invitation to darkness- I think I like being in the light. Although everyone does have their darkside, and I certainly have mine- I'm trying really hard not to go too deep into the shadows for fear of not being able to come back. ;) Stuart Eric- Thank you. I've looked within me and made the choice." -- Tessa.
"The angels are all around you, I hope you find them. Helen Keller said, "Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow." I much prefer the light over the darkness." -- JM.
"JM- Beautiful quote! I think I found my angel and am steering clear of the darkside." -- Tessa.
"It takes a lot of guts to put such a personal poem on here. Great job. Glad to hear everything id going well for you now." -- Steven T.
"It takes a lot of guts to use the title of a Disturbed song! LOL. " -- R. Bennett.
"Steven- Thanks. I'm working on a follow up... Seems like I'm teetering on the edge and I need to write it out again. R. Bennett- I like Disturbed but I wasn't familiar with that song, so I looked it up. Seems like their praying for the other team, huh? You and your darkside- figures! ;)" -- Tessa.
"Disturbed is definitely on my side of the playing field. In fact, they complete my starting line up along with TOOL, NIN, Static X, Marilyn Manson and Rob Zombie. I also like Rammstein, but all of their work is in German so most people can't understand it." -- R. Bennett.
"Hmmmm... Used to rock to those bands, except for Static X- may have to check them out. Rammstein, huh? Haven't heard that name since '96-'97? And it's not a surprise that you would dig their twisted lyrics!" -- Tessa.


Player by Judith Goff (9)
"Sorry Judith, but I'm not with you on this one. I probably spent too much time helping with 3rd grade math today." -- Sylvia.
"Perhaps too ambiguous?" -- Judith.
"Judith, I can relate to a point, but I have grown so tired of the player and the game, I have no energy left. I feel nothing. That blanket is not available to him anymore." -- JM.
"I have spent most of the day carrying a number with an 8 (oh, sorry, almost 9) year old. Big thoughts are scary right now. :(" -- Sylvia.
"Still writing him out of my heart and mind, JM ... sorry!!" -- Judith.
"Big thought are mostly always scary, Sylvia LOL" -- Judith.
"I sure can understand that Judith, but I think it's just that I had such a bad experience on Saturday night that I just shut down emotionally. Maybe he was never fully in my heart to begin with. None of that speaks to the true quality of your writing though. Thanks!" -- JM.
"Just a thought, but this is written with consciously archaic language - the picture in my mind was a kind of Dangerous Liaisons thing - but the last line seems very throwaway and "modern" in comparison - rascals and rapscallions to cod psychology all of a sudden." -- Peter Rivendell.
"Thank you Peter ... the last line was purposely written that way(:o)" -- Judith.


Pissed by August Nyghts (6)
"Ever heard the song "Wonder why they call you bitch"" -- True playa.
"no....why?" -- August.
"This poem sounds like lyrics to some Linkin Park song. I guess it's good. Your point comes across loud and clear." -- Steven T.
"I like it ALOT and the reason is because she cant say shit after u tell her this. U get the final word...goodbye" -- Michelle.
"thanks Steven T. - i think. and Michelle thanks for the review." -- August.
"Keep tellin' it like it is! " -- tessa.


Phone Poem by Desmond Swords (2)
""preferably so all around can here what is said" found a typo. wrong here/hear. Really cool piece! I like it." -- Sylvia.
"It would make a beautiful song because of the rythm and rhyme schemes." -- Peter Cain.


Pause by Sylvia Browne (5)
"Thank you for expressing this Sylvia. You don't have to post my comments. --JA St. George says "Some of the best writing help on the web can be found at www.Writersbbs.com"" -- JA St. George.
"Any and all are welcome to express themselves here, respectfully. The reviews will be filtered, and posted several times during the day." -- Sylvia.
"A nation mourns, our hearts go out to the families ... Thank you Sylvia" -- Judith.
"Thanks Sylvia " -- Just A Guy.
"My heart goes out to world,and to all who have shown their respect to the families through their work.Thankyou." -- S.E.L, Belfast.


Our Relatives Are Familiar Strangers by Toluwalope Olugbenga Ogunlesi (1)
"There are so many amazing phrsres in this poem, so I will only quote my favorite "far cheaper death than being run over by speeding eyes the size of arrogance" This is very powerful writing and leaves me with poetic tears in my heart. You have captured so much in this description, one that the reader will never forget. There are other phrases in this pem which are simply astounding. You have capture well the essence of your subject" -- Elizabeth Santos, Pottstown, Pa, USA.


My 4th Grade Valentine by August Nyghts (1)
"You don't think about 4th grade or any other special year of school until five years down the road. Then you get this weird feeling in your stomach and you wish you could go back to that year. Just for one day." -- Steven T.


Lord Of The Rings by Stuart Eric Longridge (7)
"This reads as if you couldn`t think of a last line. And your use of punctuation is odd - each verse is sentence? There`s a good idea in there, it just seems unfinished." -- Peter Rivendell.
"I agree. This reads more like an idea outline than a finished work." -- Sylvia.
"I agree about the writing,i had never wrote before last June,i will have to teach myself punctuation,im more interested in the message.It is what it is.But thanks. " -- STU, Belfast.
"god this really sucked! you need to learn how to edit your papers and how to direct the flow of you poetry! first off the is too choppy and it sounds as if you were taking lines from someone else. and the title? can you be more original, i mean i know its a good title and all but it doesnt make your work good. i hope this comment helps you out in the long run. " -- Richard, RIchardson, Tenn.
"you guys look into it too much and ruin it. I like it. It has a good message." -- max.
"To Richard head above,i have now read a few of your abusive comments of the stuff i write,and i think through your trembling rants that your completly missing the point.I am not a professional and i am not trying to be,dont worry your just one of the people in the world born with a very sealed mind.Dont try to understand too much for you might implode.Thanks for reminding me of the people i started to write for in the first place." -- S,E,L, Belfast.
"PS.all of the lines are my own." -- SEL.


Listen To The Wall Geckos Singing From A Balcony by Toluwalope Olugbenga Ogunlesi (1)
"I like it, like the metephors, like the structure (or lack of) BUT...I dont get it. What exactly are u talking about? Maybe if u give me a clue I'll love it instead of like it." -- Michelle.


Know Your God by Stuart Eric Longridge (3)
"Bravo! Well said!" -- tessa.
"I really like it. One thing, did you intentionally pun the BB thing in the second stanza? I know you left the I's small for a reason, but I was just curious if that was intentional or fortune? If it was intentional, might want to consider making them capitals. I thought it was a great sneak-in. Excellent!" -- Sylvia.
"A-ONE Writing! You have more truth in you than you know. Keep writing, keep thinking, and yes, keep praying." -- C.L. Mareydt.


Honeybloom by Toluwalope Olugbenga Ogunlesi (1)
"I don't know if you were trying to convey a sadness, but this made me feel sad. It's good though." -- Molly B.


Hoes And Bitches by August Nyghts (13)
"Everyone knows a woman lust a man just as much. " -- Jamie.
"What were you thinking? Whatever. At least if you are going to post it, do it right. A Hoe is a gardening tool, a metal blade with a handle. I believe what you want is Ho. Might I strongly suggest, as was pointed out to me, a warning. Kids do read these." -- Sylvia.
"More souless shite trash for kids to absorb,you forgot to mention the gun,oops!maybe you did." -- S.E.L, Belfast.
"August, i thought it was funny and sharp tongued. something lil'Kim or Missy Elliot should pick up on. good job. and oh Sylvia- technically Ho is a symbol for HOLMIUM -a rare earth element." -- p-dittiy.
"Maybe i was a bit harsh before,im not about disrespecting people i just think its so easy to brainwash kids,and it shows now that we have kids killing adults,with complete disregard for life because of certain images and lyrics and influences.Im talking about very young girls out wearing their thongs and stuff,you may as well wear a big sign for them fuking scum child abusers.Remember the devil protects the devil,just watch what your promoting,its the very opposite of cool ,or whatever you say.Be safe. Love ...." -- S.E.L, Belfast.
"Why is this on here? This is exactly the stuff the administration is trying to get rid of. Nevertheless, this will get many more hits because of it's title and subject matter, which all the immature teens out there can't get enough of. Just like reality TV. " -- Steven T.
"it got your attention ohh and triggered a response nonetheless. hmmmmm....it is on here because I am piecing together a book to be published and before I went mainstream with some certain works -I thought about which ones to post here to see what types recieved the most attention and reviews. my plan has worked and has helped me narrow what type of poems to include in my first book. by the way "storymania is a site for those who enjoy reading and writing" ".... for all types of original works not published elsewhere." lets stress the words ALL TYPES. " -- August.
"Just so you know, I think you have every right to post this. Administration is getting rid of things about specific people, directed to intentionally cause harm. That point made, I don't think children are sheltered on the whole, but I know how much I watch out for my kids, and although they are, and will be exposed to such things, that doesn't mean I think they should be. The correction I mentioned was because of the postings on the message board, not saying anything about you, but that term was used (and spelled the same way) over and over, and it made me nuts! You wrote it, and you can use any term you wish. Just thought it was a typo. I will refrain from trying to correct you in the future." -- Sylvia.
"I understand your point, August. I'm done ranting and raving, but couldn't you laugh at my reality TV joke?" -- Steven T.
"August- love your stuff. You write both beautiful (In My Garden) words as well as harsh- I enjoy them ALL. As for censoring- is poetry meant to be censored?!?! I think not. Write on!" -- Tessa.
"Sylvia - i used hoe instead of ho- to symbolize women being used as a tool. please dont refrain from criticisms or possible corrections in the future. in fact you helped me out in some previous postings.thank you. Steven T - yes your reality TV joke was laughable. :) Tessa - as always your reviews are uplifting. Thank You." -- August.
"Since this poem seemed to have generated the most responses out the collection, I'll post my two cents here. Where can an artist nowadays express themselves without being lectured somewhere along the way about censorship? I'm fortunate that I've been able to read some of August's poetry in their most raw form. Words scribbled on notebook paper, entire verses crossed out and erased, some written on bar napkins. Wonderful things. Things that would make the editors at Penthouse blush. I was dissapointed to see one poem in this collection had changed from the first version I read. Whether it was to August's disliking, I'm not sure. Shame on her if she felt compelled to change it because of big brother. Redirect your censorship issues to someone more deserving...say some moronic twentysomething executive at Fox TV, which is more easily accessible to our children. You're an amazing, inspiring, talented woman, August. As for the poems...keep 'em cumming." -- jk.
"Poetry will endure. Talent will flourish. But what of humiilty?" -- Dixie, VA.


Heaven Bound by Judith Goff (3)
"Thank you. A beautiful tribute. May they fly." -- Sylvia.
"Thanks Judith." -- Just A Guy.
"Just showing my respect.Thankyou. " -- S.E.L, Belfast.


Haunted by Tessa (25)
"Good stuff Tessa. Advice: The final verse doesn't flow with the rest. Maybe "Conjuring poetry -- his ensnaring device" and "I grow weak and unguarded against his pusuit" "Awaiting my angel who, as yet, remains mute". I'd also insert the word 'set' between 'heart' and 'afire' in the 2nd verse." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom.
"Love the image you created, so dark and powerful, i can almost feel you slipping under the spell." -- Just A Guy.
"I like the suggestions above. Very good work though." -- Sylvia.
"R. Bennett- Suggestions taken. Thank you for all your help. It sounds much better now. JAG- Yeah, I'm afraid I am, he's getting hard to resist... Thanks Sylvia." -- Tessa.
"Seems to me that you want to meet him.Dont create that reality you just might not get what you bargained for ." -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast .
"I'm well aware of my demon(s)/the temptation that I'm fighting... makes for great inspiration, AND I'm taking pleasure in testing my principles/resolve and writing about it... Thanks for the caution though! ;) " -- Tessa.
"perhaps.......just perhaps....you should think about pulling your own dark temptress out and fight fire with fire." -- august.
"August- And tempt the devil or the angel? Heh, heh... I'll work on it. ;) " -- Tessa.
"I understand the temptation all too well Tessa! I am fighting my own battle with the devil. This time I intend to win. The angel is there awaiting you." -- JM.
"Pssssst. It's me, the Devil. I whisper temptation to your elation. I draw you closer, closer with every word. It's not absurd. Forget what you've heard. There is no angel to save your soul, to keep you from me, to stop my goal. I will have you soon enough. I know it's rough. But I am too tough. These dreams and whispers will continue, to follow you through day and night. You can run, you can hide, you can even fight. But your truest feelings, they will emerge. You'll finally get what you deserve. And you'll be in the devil's world. You won't hold back, your love unfurled. " -- The Devil.
"We'll see!" -- JM.
"Pssssst. It's me again. Patiently waiting for you to give in. Patiently waiting for unholy sin. Patiently waiting for this tale to begin. Patiently waiting I'm not a Pagan. You dream of me nightly and daily you wish. You'd bring home an angel to stop this anguish. But I've told you before that there is no escape. With me you'll end up with so why make me wait? " -- The Devil.
"I don't know about Tessa, but devil, you don't know the dogged determination of this bull. You just keep right on waiting!" -- JM.
"I have no interest in you JM. Get your own devil. I'm all Tessa's." -- The Devil.
"I have no interest in you or any other devil! I have angels and the devil has no power against them. I hope Tessa comes to that realization also. " -- JM.
"I've seen your reviews around this site JM. You don't have nearly enough angels to rescue you from what you write about yourself. Maybe you should go in search of a few more rather than interfering in my quest. Good day!" -- The Devil.
"Tessa, devils have many skeletons in their firey closet- usually lovely and young ladies who have been used and had their soul diffused-your not going to be another- ARE YOU!?" -- August.
"Well, well, well... I see my devil is truly coming after me. Ah, the words do draw me in... Well, Devil- you have made yourself known to all, haven't you? Good stuff- you should post that other poem for everyone to read too, so they can see why I am so mesmerized by you... Shall we tell the complete story? Seems as though we've got everyone's interest... LOL!And they're all rooting for me. Hmmmm... What shall my reply be to all of these posts? I do have a poem in the works... But I'm waiting to see if my angel has the power to save me for I do not want to be just another skeleton in your fiery closet. To be continued..." -- Tessa.
"No need to share the story with everyone. It's you I'm interested in. Not them. " -- The Devil.
"I see... Maybe I should change the title to "Hunted"? " -- Tessa.
"Tessa- Your friends are your angels, we are here for you! Stay away Devil! She is too beautiful inside and out for you." -- Acheliah, Heaven's Gate.
"Acheliah, huh? I had to look you up! LOL! Um, angels are all good, but you're... quite an interesting one! Thanks for watching over me, I guess! ;)" -- Tessa.
"Girl- I'm obviously the angel guarding over you! Aren't you getting enough attention? I just didn't mean for The Devil to fall for you too!" -- Acheliah.
"Tessa has fallen for me. No angel is strong enough to protect her now." -- The Devil.
"Achelia- LOL! Not the guarding kind of angel, are you? The Devil- Yes, I have fallen for you. For your dark poetry, I am eternally yours. But, I do believe that I am still within the protection of the Light and have managed to stay out of your wicked clutches! ;P" -- Tessa.


Death Lives Nearby by Toluwalope Olugbenga Ogunlesi (1)
"This is stunning and elicites very graphic images" -- Elizabeth Santos, Pottstown, Pa, 19464.


Dear Mother by August Nyghts (4)
"It's too bad you aren't at a place where you could end it with I forgive you. I felt this way before. I didn't forget, but I did forgive. You expressed you anger well." -- Sylvia.
"I like your name: August Nyghts. I think it's unique in a sense. It's like your name is meant to be known worldwide or something. " -- Alberta .
"Thank you both Sylvia and Alberta for your thoughts. Alberta, I can only hope one day to be known worldwide for my writings-that would be great. Sylvia-Thankyou for your support, i do wish i was at that point to just say "i forgive you" but to her she has done nothing wrong. time will tell.... thanks again" -- August.
"This poem is like the song, "For you" by Staind. I like the song and I like this poem" -- Steven T.


Celtic Warriors by Stuart Eric Longridge (3)
"I find this morally ambiguous - I can`t quite figure the narrator`s standpoint." -- Peter Rivendell.
"Lets just say im a neutral observer,i can see it for what it really is." -- Stu the writer.
"The message here is powerful and clear; When Politics and religion full of hypocrisy and deception in modern times masquerades as something noble when in reality it all just a farce! Good work Stuart." -- Monte.


Catch Me If You Can by David B Doc Byron (3)
""PEOPLE DECLARING THE EVIL ON WAS REVISITING THE" I think you meant one, not on. Excellent work! I read the book (I paint too) and found it to be tremendous. The painting he did, Jack the Ripper's bedroom (not a quote, but close) is one of the most disturbing pieces I ever saw. Beautiful dedication too. It's something we all should learn to do more often (thank the people we care about) and you did it well." -- Sylvia.
"Oh, Doc ... thank you. I really liked this piece, will be looking to read the book. Take care of YOU, my friend ... God bless you" -- Judith.
"Good piece Doc! I am currently studying serial murderers in my Criminology class in college, so this is of special interest to me. Thanks!" -- JM.


A Tragedy Of Love by Parker (3)
"Pretty good, but consider thinning out some of the "You are"s and "I am"s. It also needs some periods and commas. I know the rules for poetry are different, but I think this piece needs them. Good work though." -- Sylvia.
"Check your spelling & punctuation! "sole" "your not". Can you use "burns" to mean that? How about "I am what burns to light your path"? - would say something about passion. Whatever." -- Peter Rivendell.
"Another depressing love poem I don't get. LOL. I'm sure other people do though. Keep writing" -- Steven T.


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