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Poetry - Reviews |
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Short Stories - Reviews |
Thoughts Of A War by Peter Rivendell (2) "You've fallen pray to the 'too much telling and not enough showing,' [my own problem at times, too]." -- Ulysses Hero, England. "Something special, as most of the literature found here... I can see that �Thoughts of A War� is about movement. Movement of the mind, soul and tears, towards a condition in which the three will be able to properly �clothe� the individual. The words are simple, but what they have to say makes them somehow instable from a semasiological point of view. Not all words can deal with the amount of feeling we try to put in them... This usually happens when translating: sometimes the result is not even close to the original, and the feeling is gone. Anyway, that�s the way this poem is, and is not bad at all. I would say... eight or nine. See the young Verlaine in original and you will know what I meant. " -- Boris Merner, Bucharest, Romania. Curiosity Of Nations by Peter Rivendell (1) "I like the start, and I like the end, but the middle is rather difficult to follow. Too much mixed imagery." -- Sylvia. Eternal Desire by R Bennett Okerstrom (33) "I took your advice and read your poetry. Wow! i love the imagery, so powerful. Brilliant" -- Elizabeth, Australia. "Wow! I have reached as far as Australia now! Thanks for the positve review!" -- R. Bennett. "Fond of the undead as well. Why doesn't that surprise me on the heels of your Unbridled Fury series? I think Elizabeth hit the nail on the head." -- Ivan. "Ah Ivan. I think of it more as the eternal living rather than the undead. The sheer concept of immortality is intriguing in itself. The whole stake to the heart thing kind of ruins it though." -- R. Bennett. "Taste the blood!!" -- Torment. "Taste the blood? Sure." -- R. Bennett. "I am truly impressed! :) " -- Julie, Trenton. "Thanks! See ya at the next BBQ at my house!" -- R. Bennett. "I like. Personally, I think it might be a tad stronger if the last line were a bit more subtle. The vivid imagery already conveys your true nature. ;-)" -- Mistina, New York. "And your suggestion for the last line is..... " -- R. Bennett. "I like it just the way it is! Very hypnotic. " -- JM. "I don't feel worthy to actually make a concrete suggestion. Just an initial impression. If you're really interested, I'll think about it. However, you are the poet--not I." -- Mistina, NY. "Ok. I won't press you for it. Nice to finally see "NY" after your name!" -- R. Bennett. "amazing its extremely amazing. its almost like this subject means more to you then it seems" -- Jessie Finn. "Wicked !!!!! Loved it ... will definitly read all of your offerings ... your imagery is hypnotic. Hope you will be able to get into the next two chapters from my Amarantos ... will be awaiting your critique ... " -- Judith, Tampa, FL, USA. "I have read Amarantos and recommend it to everyone. " -- R. Bennett. "Thanks, R. Bennett!!!!!" -- Judith. "The beat had me hooked...it's captivating and steamy, and very clever. It grabs you in a way you're almost embarrassed to admit...a romantic trance..." -- Mia Angello, WI. "Exactly Mia. Exactly how a vampire would lure you in. Once you are caught in his hypnotic stare you cannot resist him. " -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "I, for one, would not want to resist ...... just think of it, immortality; an eternity to spend together ..." -- Judith. "What if you don't like the person who made you immortal? Then you might not want to spend eternity with them. Not every vampyre can be as attractive and caring as they are in your stories Judith." -- R. Bennett. "True, R Bennett, but not all vampires in my stories are caring ... look at Santiago in Bite; by the way, you need to finish that story !!!! And come to think of it, eternity IS a very long time .... " -- Judith . "I like Santiago! He is a bit extreme, but cool nonetheless." -- R. Bennett. "Thanks, R Bennett, now finish that story !!!!!!" -- Judith. "So glad vampires exist in stories only..very imaginative, I am intrigued and fascinated by your writing...thanx again for the reading pleasure." -- mandi, va. "No, thank YOU for reading it. It wouldn't be worth posting if people didn't enjoy reading it." -- R. Bennett. "The rhythm is captivating, and the tone is quite sexy! Fun." -- Mia Angello, WI. "I agree. This has a sexual air about it even if it describes the undead." -- The Reviewer. "crimson tide; float away on a sea of bitter sweet extascy...i love vampyres to...this poem reminds me of the movie dracula 2000 - i like it!" -- kat, Australia. "Thanks Kat. I'm glad you liked it!!" -- R. Bennett. "I like the pace & flow...and want to be her." -- Royal D. "You want to be immortal? Don't we all?" -- R. Bennett. "I admit, immortality has an appeal to me. I like the intent here. He has chosen her and is focused on her...the chase for centuries seems to be coming to an end." -- Royal D. Deliverance by R Bennett Okerstrom (19) "Interesting... " -- Karie, Livonia. "That it is. It came to me in less than 10 minutes. It's hard to explain where this stuff comes from. I just sat down and it was there. " -- R. Bennett. "WOW! You're a poet and I didn't know it!" -- Julie, Trenton. "You'd think one's own sister would know this kind of stuff about her brother?" -- R. Bennett. "Sometimes memories are forever ...." -- Judith. "This piece might make a good song...hmm..." -- R. Bennett. "Yes, it would ....." -- Judith. "It came to you in less than ten minutes, but when I first read this it really hit a nerve in me and it took me months to figure out why. Interesting how someone else's words could have that effect on a person." -- JM. "It sounds like someone is being haunted..." -- Dorene. "Not at all. This piece doesn't have any personal meaning. I sat down and started writing and this is what came out. I have no idea where it came from." -- R. Bennett. "It is strange sometimes, how there are all these words floating around us only waiting to be set to rhyme or rythmn...I have enjoyed reading your work so far." -- mqwalters, va, usa. "Thanks mq. I'm glad you have enjoyed it. " -- R. Bennett. "Um...err...I don't really get it. Parts of it just seem like works kinda thrown together..like there's no meaning..." -- TallyHo. "There is plenty of meaning. Read it again without trying to analyze the meaning." -- R. Bennett. "I see the meaning. The words that are "thrown together" are what gives it it's meaning. Well done." -- The Reviewer. "I'm sorry but I can't agree that poets or writers can just slap down wome words and get lucky in that they somehow turn out to have meaning. I think we may at times, start out in one direction and end up going in another but the most enduring works are created with a theme in mind. It may be symbolic or straightforward or be cleverly hidden in the context of the work. Nevertheless, we should know what we are trying to accomplish. Yes, there is a theme to this poem, even if it came about accidentally, as you insist. You've posted many pieces on this site but this one seems to fall short of your better efforts. " -- Richard. "Thanks for your honesty Richard. They can't all be masterpieces. " -- R. Bennett . "I liked this and found plenty of meaning to it, but I have to agree with Richardon one point. I think you know exactly where this came from, R. Bennett." -- Erika. "Thanks Erika. I'm glad it meant something to you. " -- R. Bennett. A Lullaby Consecrated To Infant The Terrible by Duke Sekhon (2) "You are an excellent writer, Duke Sekhon, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado. "Rosedog is correct, Duke, you are a good writer...worthy to be published. I don't know again about it rosedog.com but you must get your stuff submitted!" -- e. rocco caldwell. Believe by Luis Felipe Moura (3) "Your work has gone unnoticed here, and that I find to be a crime. You are an excellent writer, Luis Felipe Moura, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado. "Will somebody please kick this spammer out of here? That was a beautiful poem, Luis." -- Ivana. "It takes a special sort of person to take words at their face value yet give them life and impact that trancends their simplicity. Luis achieves this with precision and clarity that I have have rarely encountered elsewhere in other works." -- Harvey Kennett, Chelmsford, Essex, UK. Crying Angel by Luis Felipe Moura (1) "This was very nice:)" -- mattie. If... by Luis Felipe Moura (2) "Hey - I like this one! This is the kind of thing I (used to) like to write about." -- Brooklyn, Illinois. "Hi! Your name has got my attention. It makes me think you`re a Brazililan or maybe Portuguese? Do you mind telling me? Thanks, " -- Dri. Bodies At Rest by A J Magy (3) "I didn't really understand this poem. But I'm not real good at interpreting poetry. Is is about all the things you remember before you die? Anyway, you've published more stuff on here than I have, so something must be working for you. Keep it up." -- Steven T. "AJ! I like this piece alot, surprise I never seen it before! It reminds me of something I wrote once. It has a nice flow and feel to it and leaves this reader with a peaceful easy feeling of acknowledgement. I can easily understand what you were saying here! Good Job!!!" -- Monte, USA. " I usually don�t read poetry, and thus don�t review it, because I find much of it to be pretentious. However, since you specifically asked for me, I will grant your request by putting forth what I can, and then I will tell you where you can receive some real assistance. Review: #1 Title, Bodies at Rest, is an excellent choice. #2 Spelling and Grammatical errors: Change �momentos� to �mementos,� its close cousins are the words �remember� and �memory.� #3 Opinion: For your pieces I will rate in clarity (ability to be comprehended by the general populace) unless I see something incredibly good or incredibly bad. For this piece I give it a rating of foggy. We get the gist of what you are saying, but difficult to pin down to a specific subject. #4 Suggestions: I�d suggest you visit the poetry forum at the www.WritersBBS.com for further assistance in your work. " -- JA St.George. Oh! What Lovely Weather We Are Having by Stuart Eric Longridge (5) "In response to the your poem as a work of literature: I did not feel a precise rhythme... it skipped and jumped and sometimes was completely absent as you tried to insert grandiose verbage to add some sort of seemingly intellectual authority to your poem's message. The rhythm was nonexistant, the poem quite obviously constructed from a viewpoint lacking adequate education about all sides of the argument, and your obvious inexperience writing political statement poetry shines through quite deftly. Concerning the message conveyed within the poem: The "brutal bile of religion" that you mention: to which religion in particular are you referring? You mention child abuse, so I assume the Catholic church. However, please understand that there is a difference between a religion and that religion's church. One is a set of beliefs, ideals, and aids for behavior, while the other is a physical representation comprised of fallible humans to present some sort of understandable human hierarchy maintaining that religion on earth for others. You speak of reincarnation as being the true universal force -- a cyclical birth and rebirth of all energy -- so, tell me, how does your belief in such differ from "religion"? Specify to the reader what "religion[s]" you are attempting to insult and degrade. Many believe that "religion" may be defined as a personal guiding set of ideals, beliefs, and moral standards that affect a person's behavior. In keeping with that definition, don't go off on a tangent bashing all structures religion because you think it is "wrong" (based, by the way, on miseducation and misinformation), because in the end you only wind up insulting your own beliefs and discrediting your argument. I agree that Nature is reflective of God, or of some higher being and force at work in a positive manner. However, I also believe that structured religion(s) within society has been a key factor in preserving the behavioral standards for many societies. The influence of moral standards for behavior on developing citizens within a society is invaluable; without the adequate guidance that many diverse religions provide, children would perhaps be raised in a society in which nothing was "wrong" or immoral: stealing, plundering, raping, murdering for personal gain, lying, and cheating might all be considered socially acceptable. Or, at the very least, people would not have the same fearful and disgusted regard of it that they do now. I am a firm proponent for the existence of SOME kind of structured religion within a society -- not a single religion, by no means, but a plethora of beliefs -- mostly because I believe that it helps us to advance morally and socially as a whole. By the way, if you have any questions or debate topics to throw out there concerning the Catholic church (and religion), I am more than happy to engange in dicussion with you. Feel free to email me, and I will answer any questions you may have concerning beliefs within the Catholic religion, its role throughout the world, and current issues regarding the church and religion. I attempt to keep an open mind, and am always up for intellectual discussion; however, I will not dicuss with you if you also will not concede that you may have certain misconceptions and much misinformation regarding the Catholic church and religion. Thank you for posting your poem, it was indeed thought-provoking." -- Samantha Carter, USA. "sorry i didnt read ur poem, i was caught by the very long review above and just wanted to say.....samantha carter ur very close to becoming a TOTAL NUT." -- sunny, DC, USA. "I am replying to the lovely lady Samantha Carter in the U.S.A.,who gave me such nice review even though i might have touched a nerve or two.To start with i didnt put my real address ,i only live in London, i am actually from Belfast N.Ireland and i for one have had first hand experiences and so have many people at the hands of the lying brainwashing religious churches.I will not disclose my families religious backgroud for i know it to be irrelevent as they are all as bad as each other for controlling the minds of the masses and making us think that all wars and disagreements in history are religiously based,they are not , never ever have been.Please dont think im insulting you i dont have that kind of heart i know that if these religiously racist doctrines didnt exist in the world ,that good caring people like yourself would find another pure way to express your love for others,the earth and the consciousness which made all and is all.I appologise for my rhymes that dont fit ,i have just started writing and really havnt a clue about verse ,but i have started to educate myself as to writing and i promise my styles will improve.I only hope your not one of these people who consider Christianity as a supreme religion compared to others, just because you are TOLD to believe that other expressions of worship are evil or misguided,maybe because they have no access to priests such as Islam or that Buddism or Hinduism worship graven images which they dont,these were real men just like Jesus,and who by the way is absolutely nothing to do with the lies which they wrapped around his very human existence.Iwould love you to read my pieces called Yeah Yeah and Baseless information before leaving earth.I would like to remind you that in the name of Christianity millions were slaughtered including babies torn out of their mothers alive.This might remind you of a bastard called Hitler, who didnt kill anywhere near the millions slayed in the great Christian crusades.You touched on a piece about child abuse,it happens in all western religions and its well covered up and blamed on Roman Catholicism,you might want to read some of David Ickes research.As for reincarnation thats the secret thats been deliberately forgotten in Christianity,something about keeping it sacred for Jesus alone ,who was a normal man and by the way didnt die on the cross.Humans have free will we dont need to be told the difference between whats right and wrong its common sense,the reason why we do bad deeds is that we are told through science we are an accident, and through religion we are born sinners unless we give our minds away to these limited view ,racist,contradicting mental prisons we know as religions ,it renders us lost in life with no hope but to give our minds away to organisations who if you are interested in researching other accounts actually base their dates on very ancient satanic ritual dates .I do appreciate you taking your time to write to me , i hope we might become friends and exchange our views, i am glad it has been thought provoking thats my whole idea, we are living in the great transformation information years afterall,and not the scary translation of the end of the world which Christianity would like to terrify us into believing,i hope to hear from you again God bless. Stuart Longridge,Earth. " -- Stuart Longridge, Belfast , N.Ireland. "your time is nearly up stuart,we have been watching your progress on earth and feel that you have out grown our use for you.prepare to return to zargon 3 in 12 earth days.the zuni tribes are your sentinels.may the gods be with you,in those secret places you must walk alone.we shall not cease from exploration,and the end of our exploring,will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time,through the unknown ,remembered gate,when the last of earth left to discover is that which was beginning." -- henrick deier, germany, berlin, deutchland. "I tip my hat to you, Stuart, (well, I would if I were wearing one) -- not only did you incite a not-so-positive review from someone who obviously didn't care for your poem as I did, but you took the time to give Ms. Carter a reply. And don't worry about the rhythm of your poem -- the great thing about poetry is that it can be anything you want it to be. Perhaps Ms. Carter should become better educated on that rather then spend her time with her head in the sand like most Christers. There is passion in your writing, and as long as you have that, refinement of your skills will come in time...by the way, (just out of selfish curiosity), are you an Indigo Child?" -- Indigo. The Wests Misconception Of Islam by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Can't this pogrom facilitate the use of apostrophes" -- Jez, London, UK. "Can't you spell "Program" A-hole?" -- Aehole Bumstein. Falling by Peter Rivendell (2) "Normally I wouldn't like this one. It's pretty rough, but with the subject being what it is, I think rough works well here. Being about controversy of self (Lord I stink at spelling today) the rough pattern only helps the subject play out." -- Sylvia. "hello peter. i believe you gave me some feedback on my poem "I Don't Think You're Alive". thank you for it. i liked yours. i think you shoudlve kept writing when you were a teen. im 14 and ive been writing since i was 8. you still have that pinch of teenage years in your writing. i think that is good. you needed some spice. anyways...pleaz give me any other advice on my poems if you read them. " -- Jeni. Waiting For The Rain by Lawrence Peters (3) "I loved it. I write similar to you and I've never found anyone with the same flow. It's truly awesome." -- Lydia, Tulsa, US, Oklahoma. "I really enjoyed this piece, it flowed very nicely...look forward to reading more of your work." -- mqwalters, va, usa. "*****This was very good. By the way, I loved your little "about the author" thing. " -- d donely. Time Enough For You by Lawrence Peters (1) "I could really relate to this Lawrence. Excellent!" -- JM. When Winter Comes by Peter Rivendell (1) "This is really good Peter. Excellent imagery. I love the line "Receiver swings with no replies". Great Stuff!" -- Eric Richards, gainesville, Fl. Triptych by Peter Rivendell (1) "I'm very impressed with your writing. Smooth and well thought out. My only down side comment is, I would have preferred a little more punch. Although, in general I still enjoyed these poetry pieces. " -- Ulysses Hero, England. Yeah Yeah by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Your right; A man is not coming back, but it will be my savior as the holy spirit, to take all who believe with him into his kingdom. Will he be taking you ? Yes, there are incongruities in the bible, but so aren't the events of history, depending on the author. The bible is the inspired word of God, handed to imperfect man. but it has been historical authenticated as being true. If you must question anything in the bible I must question your belief.If you focus on prayer, rather than your preoccupied alternatives you will be better served. Did you expect any other kind of feedback after reading my worship lyrics;and if you get a kick out of setting me up, well you did an excellent job doing that on your own. If it is JUST a writing, without your personal belief, that would make you PREY to the devil, and that would make me PRAY for your salvation. " -- Brian O Neil. "I didn't like it but i wont be nasty about it.I don't know if you read the bible? but try reading it, before you try to disprove it. where did we come from out of thin air ?I don't think so becaus nothing comes from nothing. don't just go by a church , church has people and people sin , that doesn't mean jesus wasn't our savior or that god doesn't exist. jesus died in our place because we all sin and he is are redeamer because he lived a blameles life. he who loves his life will lose it but he who loses it for my sake [ will have eternal life] think about it it's not to late if your still alive. " -- k.p.. 'ticement 18 W. I. S. H. (When I See Her) by Lawrence Peters (2) "I liked it, I felt like i could easily relate to your words. You seem to have much talent, keep up the good work." -- Miles Tugman, Topeka , Kansas, USA. "one too many hearts... yes, I understand" -- maria. Yin And Yang by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) ""Ambitious first two stanzas but you seem to pull it off- rhyme of the same word in three other lines, and an interesting thought provoking end."" -- J L Watts. "I only count two. Best one I've read yet." -- Jez, London, UK. Why To Kill A Princess by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Now this is interesting,we didnt hear very much at the time ,and Ickes The biggest Secret talks about this.I will have to read it." -- Texas Tom, Land of the free. "Tacklin' great issue in your poetry, eh Stuart... Always, ABAB/CDCD rhyming scheme, like a song you know... How about something different try something of the masters, those greek/latin jokers they can lay down a myriad pattern of sounds..." -- Locke, London, UK. We Come In Pieces by Stuart Eric Longridge (1) "You would read this one in a more interesting way if your rhyme wasn't every line and you lost the rhyme pattern all together in the last stanza, lad. Keep workin' on it." -- Brian O Neil. Wave by Peter Rivendell (3) "I would have loved a little punctuation. Even so, probably the best I've read of yours so far. Strong imagery - and too the point." -- Ulysses Hero, England. "brittle images... nice." -- Blue. "I seemed to want to read it again and again. I don't agree about the comment regarding punctuation, it works brilliantly just reading from line to line. I love the ending - it's sudden but for no apparent reason makes me smile. Thank you!" -- Peter Halpin, Bedford, England. The Man Of Stone by Kristin Renee Bond (2) "Take a look at my series on the homeless of Detroit." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "wow, this is the most amazing work i have ever read. i think you should get some kind of award, you are my hero, this is definitely a distiguished piece of work. You are my hero." -- Kim Roley. Swimming Against The Tide by Peter Rivendell (2) "I swear I can hear music when I read these words. Perhaps this poetry piece is a song reincarnated. " -- Ulysses Hero. "I`ve always been more influenced my music than "proper" poetry and many pieces have been written as much as lyrics as "poems". Thank you for your reviews of my work." -- Peter Rivendell, Manchester, UK. My Parents Have The Mania by Ulysses Hero (1) "perfect....i could imagine/feel everything....only i didnt quite understand the beetles line." -- sunny, DC, USA. Government Business by William Faitel (1) "hello william,i liked what your saying in your piece of work i totally agree.we live in a world being increasingly turned into a prison,but all the stupid brainwashed fucks who support the system as it daily rapes them and their liberties,well if they cant wake up out of their fat arsed views,fuck them .i hope my words arnt too strong,this is what this sites about anyway isnt it?if you want to check out my work ,ive just started writing shit, so you might find flaws in actual writing style but they will improve believe me.check out the review i got for OH WHAT LOVELY WEATHER WE ARE HAVING,i guess she is a nun or something,i dont think she clicked what part of the world im from,but really i didnt mean to insult her limited view of our human origins.any way mate keep up the good work and dont take it all too seriously.let me know what you think. " -- stuart, belfast, n.ireland. Finding You by Michelle Anthony (3) "This poem means alot to me, it makes me happy then sad all at the same time, thank you honey" -- Lee. "Long distance relationship? Tough to make them work. Good luck." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "this really hit my heart i am 18 and in the United State Air Force and my boyfriend is in the Navy so i do not get to see much of him but we will both be out in 4 years and we will get to be together again" -- daddyslittlegirl. Cloaking Device by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Awesome! This is exactly what is going on...and yes there are ones who are awake. Written very well! " -- C.L. Mareydt. "dig ur message... so wut r we gonna do??? www.iratecinemaug.tk" -- Rev. Dionysus Motherfucker. Baseless, Information, Before, Leaving, Earth by Stuart Eric Longridge (1) "great job!!!" -- Janiya, Hangzhou, Hangzhou, Portugal. Aspects by Emily Hunter (2) "Excellent wordplay that conveys the tone and moment you are trying to capture here. The meter that you have chosen harmonises with your words. A great effort, and please continue with this style... you have a talent for it." -- Hunter. "Something new. Nice work." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Undisclosed Male by Fyona Doyle Latz (1) "I really enjoyed your poem and wanted to know if you would interested in letting me put it in my literary magazine. E-mail me for more details." -- Toni Lynch, Ohio. Traffic Cop by Kurt Kitasaki (1) "Hello Kurt, After reading all of your poetry on this site, this one was my favorite. It is humorous, and I enjoyed the personification of the paper shredder. It's witty, light, and gave me a chuckle. Thanks for posting, Ruth" -- Ruth. The Window by Kylan Masters (1) "wow. i think it is boring but the message is good." -- shawn w.. The Tigershadow Legacy by Aaron Wheeler (2) "You are an excellent writer, Aaron Wheeler, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado. "Hi Aaron. I think there were too many 'ite' rhymes in here. And when reading out loud the line "The nexus of light and night" (EAM) caused me to stumble a bit after the last few lines. Other than that good. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. Stolen Moments In Time by Emily Hunter (1) "Beautiful. Thank you." -- Hunter. Reality by Fyona Doyle Latz (1) "Your work has gone unnoticed here, and I find that to be a crime. You are an excellent writer, Fyona Doyle Latz, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado. Piccadilly Bakery by Fyona Doyle Latz (1) "hey, this is fantastic, i love sampling a piece of your creative talent, keep them coming FDL. Thanks for all the bread rolls...." -- dee, australia. Percussionist by Andrew French (2) "you continue to bring order to the chaos and whirlpool of words through your poetry..........." -- patricia. "Here's my review: Lemon ogre chocalate bar solution tepee cigarette." -- Riven. On A Napkin At Rialto's by Ulysses Hero (3) "You are an excellent writer, Ulysses Hero, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado. "The rhythum of that first verse is wonderful. I don't like poetry but I really like this very much. 8/10" -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "perfect....i echo sooz's feelings, i've read all ur poetry and i seldom read poems....u are THE HERO....10/10." -- sunny, DC, USA. Oblivious Journey by Suneej Surendran Nair (2) "I want a happy harp. I've voted this a seven because I think it's absolutely beautiful. My only crit would be that I'd change either the beauteous, or the beauteously they are such rich words that I don't think there's room for both of them in the poem. For some reason this reminded me of the prodical son .. . but not when he came home, when he went away. Lovely, lovely poem. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "You are an excellent writer, Suneej Surendran Nair, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado. Mango by Fyona Doyle Latz (1) "Definiently got potential. Keep up the good work." -- Butaflie Works. Just After I Got Him To Sleep by Tara Augeri (3) "Tara May I suggest that you try reading and writing more, it is not only theraputic but also an excellent way of honing your skills. Try to give your readers more reasons to want to read your work! Positive affirmations will not only make you feel better but also allow for a little light at the end of the tunnel! Keep writing and don't give up on your dreams." -- Monte, USA. "Tara: May I suggest you totally disregard the "review" by Monte? I found your poem to be charming, funny -- and slightly frightening. Very real, good, concrete details. Nice." -- tom scanlon, seattle, wa, usa. "Tara, I'm kind of between Monte and Tom Scanlon. I have current, first hand experience of what you're writing about, and, mostly, you're quite on the money. But there is something missing. I think the rythym is off and there are too many words. I mean, you have words that do not do much. Everyday, the house needs to be cleanse of the tedious responsible family life, only to be brought back to youthful chaos and blind education. The above, for instance. I like the idea of cleansing away tedium. The rest is many words that do not quite make the experience poetical or remarkable. The thoughts of the next day buzz in my tired head only to be dropped fast so I may go to prepare for tomorrow�s sacrifice. This too takes too long. Besides, it seems to hold contradictory ideas for no good reason. Basically, it's: I'm too tired to think and need to get ready for tomorrow. As is, not poetical, in my opinion. I hope to get to bed and get enough sleep so that I will remember not to yell when I trip over the plastic dinosaur that was left in the middle of the kitchen. Why not: I hope to get enough sleep to remember... I like this part, the idea. Wouldn't have put it like that myself, but I find myself doing just that many times. (My daughters are 2 years and 8 months old). " -- Dusan, Chicago, IL, USA. Just A Thought by David Wrigley (4) "You are an excellent writer, David Wrigley, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado. "I really enjoyed your poem and wanted to know if you would interested in letting me put it in my literary magazine. E-mail me for more details." -- Toni Lynch, ohio. "wow i am a fellow peot writter and i think that these really touch my heart as poetry should be understood and dosnt matter wt mood you are in a good poem should relate and hat wot i found in the few i read im so privelledged" -- fran, tauranga, bay of plenty, new zealand. "another remarkable piece...a poem should always leave the reader with something to ponder and you have definitely done so in a fantastic manner...I will be back on your site to give you input on your other pieces but for now I must go sleep,lol I also would love to read something new so let me know when there's something more to read" -- mystic, oklahoma, usa. Hammock by Ulysses Hero (4) "very good....ur very close to perfection in this one also." -- sunny, DC, USA. "Made me chuckle; I enjoyed it!" -- mia angello, WI, USA. "I liked it! I liked it! Especially the last line. Held together well, hard to fault." -- Iam. "Having read your poetry, I am humbled. And having read your poetry, your review of my work, "Soliloquy" has gained even more importance in my eyes. Thank you !!!" -- Judi, Tampa, FL, USA. From Me To You by David Wrigley (1) "I LOVE IT! . you know who this is......and what i mean..." -- Miranda, newcastle, NSW, Australia. A Really Very Gothic Poem by Wolfa (19) "I think this is one of those that will either work for the reader or not, and it will have nothing much to do with the writing which is quite cleverin its contrived way. I'm sorry it didn't ring any bells for me, but I see that you have quite a lot of stuff posted and I'm sure there will be other stuff that you've done that I'll like. You obviously have imagination and like to try for fresh ideas." -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "I think one of us is missing something here, The Author. Sorry to state the obvious but that isn't a review it's a story. I admit a complete load of drivel of a story but a story none-the-less. For my reviews I sugest you check *other* people's work Duh! Will I ever do anyrthing right? Will anyone ever think quietly to themselves, damn that Sooz seems like a nice woman? Will I ever eat pizza and not put on half a stone overnight? No probably not." -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "Can you believe that Wolfa. First Sooz goes and gets rid of the only Advisor we had, claiming he didn't give good reviews, and then she takes over the position, now telling everybody their work is crap. Well you know what I say, what goes around comes around." -- Cadillac Blonde. "Er.... what are you talking about, Sooz?" -- Wolfa. "You know what I think. I think that this Sooz person must be working for another site. That would explain it. She's working for another site, and it is her evil genious plan to infiltrate Storymania and destory it from within peice by peice." -- bog. "I'm sorry I offended you Wolfa. I'm not going to backtrack at all. I stand by what I said (although I thought I gave it a half way mark of five) Poetry is not really my thing and maybe I should leave it well alone, but I'm trying to learn to like it. I admit it isn't the best review in the world but I was trying to be honest and I did say that you've got quite a few pieces and that I hoped I could be ,more encouraging on some of them. The poem *is* clever I like the false start thing, but the poem itself didn't move me. As to the second garbled post I sent that to one of my own pieces and it seems to have appeared all over the place, I don't know if this is my own mistake or that of someone else. You seem to be a geniune poster (merely because you have work posted)I don't like that I've upset you. I'm trying to be friendly with people but at the same time be honest. After the first unpleasantness I decided to try and read review peoples work more, because isn't that what sites like this are all about? I'm sorry I'd like to review more of your stuff as an offer of friendship I know my reviews are'nt polished or up to much but at leasst I know if I like something or not and it's one more person's opinion for you. However if you'd rather I left you alone then that's fine too. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "I'm sorry, but it has really bothered me that you think I was purpousefully unfair. Please, please don't take this as more negative critisism. It isn't I just want to explain, I know I should probably just leave well alone and that I'm just digging myself a deeper hole but in for a penny. If you compare your poem, to 'Two Worlds' by Sarah somebody (either of the two parts) The time, the effort, the work, the description .. that's why I didn't give you a very high vote .. for those I think I gave eight for the first part and nine for the second. Perhaps it's wrong to work on a scale that if a piece like Sarahs is worth a nine then a piece like yours is only worth a five (or three even) The two genres are poles apart. Perhaps it's like saying that if Britney Spears is a nine, then Grot bags the witch is only a two. Maybe it is an unfair way of doing it, but it's the only way that seemed to work for me. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. ">< I really don't care what you thought of the poem, Sooz (not being too impressed with it myself), but it irritated me that you assumed that I was the person complaining on "The Old Enemy". Seeing as someone re-posted a review I left on another work onto "The Old Enemy", I believe that you didn't assume it was me. Obviously there is someone re-posting reviews. So anyhoo, sorry I got so angry, and thanks for reviewing it." -- Wolfa. "That's okay mate, so glads we got that sorted out. I'm just sorry you have been pulled into a nasty and unpleasant game to get at me. I'm being persecuted by one or more people and if I try to review anyone elses work obviously the same thing is going to happen again. I hate to think that people are going to be upset by something I've said or something that's been twisted by someone else. Anyway glad things are okay now. thanks for understanding Sooz " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "Hello Wolfa, it seems that Sooz Simpson's harassment of you will not stop. But you don't need to take my word for it, in the Advisor column under Does Storymania Aid Plagiarism by Marcus, she has written lies that you and I are the same person, which we both know to be incorrect. I have left this site, and do not wish to be dragged back here time and time again in order to defend myself and other great writers such as yourself. I just hope Sooz will eventually stop attacking me." -- JA St.George. "Waaait, waaait, Sooz, and here I thought we had this little thingie all worked out. I am not J.A., who in the past was kind enough to comment on two of my submissions, nor am I David Soriano, Cadillac Blonde, or Markus. If you read what all of us have written it is readily apparent that we are not the same person. It is quite obvious that we all have very different writing styles. For example, compare my poems "Drive" and "Straying from the Path" to, oh, any of David Soriano's writings. Additionally, the ONLY COMMENT I left on your work (before you started with the bizarre reviews attacking me), was praise. It is on "Jurassica". Your little war on Storymania is, to put it simply, stupid, and you seem to be the one who keeps dragging it out." -- Wolfa. "You are an excellent writer, Wolfa, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado. "Wow, you've gottten 12 reviews which is rare on this site, but wait, it looks more like an arguement, a promotion and a few fragments of a review. I hope we all haven't forgetten what this site is for. So here is my review; I found the poem funny and well done. The style used is a comical interpratation of the thoughts that go on during the writing process of "a really very gothic poem" and you show it well. You made your point. And as far is it not standing as high as other poems because of "time, effort, work, and description," I think that those four element would have taken away from the overall message of the poem. Good Job." -- friend on the helpful phone. "Yay! An actual review! Oh and Ima delete that stupid site promotion.... when I find the willpower.... ug." -- Wolfa. "A really very amusing poem. Perhaps you should try submitting it to Gothic.net (nope, this is not a site promotion - I hate those - I just thought that they might be interested in your poem, and they're a paying market)." -- Ivana. "I thought this poem was really funny and it is kindof, to me, a poem that goes through every writters mind when he/she can't think of what to say. " -- Karen , USA. "I LIKED YOUR LITTLE RANT REMINDS ME OF MYSELF VERY HUMOROUS,I ALSO HAVE MY HAPPY LITTLE RYMING RANTS CHECK THEM OUT,LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKE THEM.TAKE IT EASY. IRISH STU" -- STUART LONGRIDGE, LONDON, ENGLAND. "hello wolfa we meet again. or have we met? thanks for your advice on my poems "Understand" and "I Don't Think You're Alive". now if you really think im lacking originality then i would reread your poem. im not judging, for i dont no how old you are or anything about this. but the fuck this part was harsh. you tried and you gave up. dammit. anyways keep in mind im a 14 depression struck girl trying to write original poems. my poems are as original as i get. anyways...any other advice please email me. i'm always looking for pointers. keep in touch. " -- Jeni Jopes, Houghton, MI, United States of America. "*****LMFAO. This was hella funny. I loved the part about "the monkeys in your head." haha, i loved this." -- d donely. A Monument To Time And Stonehenge by David Soriano (14) "What is "A signaling process based on binary code." (EAM) That's the only line in this one that I didn't understand. I thought binary code was used to calculate the geomitary of the positioning, who were they signalling to? I've been looking forward to reading this one because I fins Stonehenge facinating. I really should learn more about it. 8/10" -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "One of your best so far. 7/10" -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "Have you read anything by Jewel Kiltcher? I think the lady is unbelieveably talented. This reminds me in a way of her work She's an Alaskan poet and songwriter/singer. It was the verse that reminded me of a cup of coffes (Riches, Bitterness, Sweetness)that did it. I could imagine these as lyrics to one of her songs. What does bwiti mean, is it a name? It's not a word I've heard before and it measns nothing to me. I like learning new things." -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "Bwiti is a religion practiced in western Africa. It is centered around the religious figure of Bwiti. The people (Pigmies and others) use a psychoactive plant containing ibogaine in their religious ritual. Thank you for the kind words!" -- David Soriano, Bradford, Pa., U.S.A.. "Isn't it human nature to want something for nothing? People don't think that by taking without paying they are robbing people of their living, eventually that person may be out of work and kept by the state and who pays the state ... we do. But I bet there's not a person over the age of ten alive who hasn't copied a CD or taped a Tape. (Well apart from the very old of course)Interesting and thought provoking, but will it be enough to stop me in my tracks next time I ask a friend if I can borrow a CD to copy? .. I shouldn't think so. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "At first I thought this was relating to the advent of the cyber age bringing about change in your life, but then you changed tactic and the poem took on a travelling feel which to me seemed to signify changes in 'you' I didn't completely understand this one and that annoys me. I want to read poetry and know exactly where the writier is coming from. I like the thought that a long road has many changes. One minute it might be urban, then rural it may run by the sea for a while and end up in the mountains. I think what you were trying to say is that life's like that. That you road lies ahead and the only way you are going vto alter it's inevitablity is by making detour and travelling on different roads. Please correct me if I@m wrong because I want to understand it. 7/10" -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "You are an excellent writer, David Soriano, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado. "I didn't htink this was as good as the last two I've read, but I love the image of the layers of mirrored reflections. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "Not your average poem. Needs to be studied. Even so, well written." -- Hero. "The words used in this give a whole magical feel to the piece. My son (10) is reading the hobbit at the moment and is just getting into fantasy and 'other' beings. I wish this had been set at a younger age group because I'd love for my son to read this, but I know he won't make much sense of it. It's a shame because the phraseology is beautiful. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "This is one that makes you think, personally I think he favours schtizophrenics for devine visitation. Didn't like this as much as the last one I read, but still good stuff. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "I like this because he 'speaks' in such technical terms that it's almost a mechanical love poem. He obviously has such respect for her mind, that he speaks to her on an intelectual level. I hate mushy love poems with eye gazing and endless compliments as to her endless beauty. This one is refreshingly different. No one would ever call me beautiful without lying through their teeth, but if someone ever saw fit to write me something like this I'd be overjoyed. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "This is a little bit confusing because in the begining you have A strange and disturbing voice. Later it becomes 'My' voice and it's clear that the voice is the voice of nerosis. or at least I hope it is the psychosis voice in someone's head that's how I interpreted it. The last line is the most sinister. The voice in his head is laughing at him. If you change the 'And' at the begining to 'My' and re read I think the whole piece takes on a much more menacing tone. He knows he has a 'strange and disturbing voice' after all he's bragging about it, but he does nothing to make it less strange and disturbing. He's enjoying tormenting the poor bloke whose head he is living in. And the 'MY' gives him a distinct and seperate personality as you've used later on. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "Hello David, I almost didn't comment on any more pieces of your poetry because Poetry is not my first love and I'm not passionate about it, but sod it, I'm not going to stop reading or reviewing because of one nasty person. If you are yet another facet of that one personality, then the jokes on me again, but then I'm reading the writing not the author so it doesn't really matter. If the authors don't want me to comment then they can tell me so. Unless I really like something very much though (7+) I'm not going to vote because I always try to be fair and in all honesty it would be very rare for me to vote a piece of poetry as high as a short story. I have two comments on this one a compliment. My favorite line of this is "No time like the past" nice play on words. What is equally good is "In walking distance, the nick of time" in fact I think that's lovely, but a little confusing, because the pattern of the poem demands that it is displayed over two lines. If it read Within walking distance the nick of time. it would be more clear and less likely be read as two unrelated statements. Recollection and premonitions are two long words, 'A penny for your thoughts' is a longer line than walking distance, if you add a word before the walking I think it helps with the appearence. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 |
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