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Poetry - Reviews |
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Short Stories - Reviews |
Denial by R Bennett Okerstrom (15) "Welcome back again! " -- Talon. "Nice cadence, vivid imagery. Je l'aime." -- Mistina. "Je l'aime aussi. Avez-vous su que je pourrais parler fran�ais? " -- R. Bennett. "Nice to see you writing again. This is just as good as the older stuff!" -- Tori. "Thanks! I'm glad I haven't lost the touch!" -- R. Bennett. "It's all very good! Bertand Arthur William Russell said "The experience of overcoming fear is extraordinarily delightful". The wisdom of a bull. " -- JM. "I am making my way through your musings ... let me say I am impressed. This one strikes a particular chord (nerve?) within me ... I will read on !!!! I have posted more of Amarantos, and there will be more to come soon ... Thanks for showing interest in my humble offerings ..." -- Judith, USA. "Thank you Judith. I'm glad you like it. How does this particular piece of work strike home for you?" -- R. Bennett. "A very long standing relationship .. a forbidden, doomed love ... one line in particular ... about the walk, the laughs, THE LIES" -- Judith. "i love this piece it strikes a chord deep inside, a forbidden love, doomed and blessed at the same time- an unsung melody..." -- kat, Australia. "Yes. I suppose so." -- R. Bennett. "wow....an amazing piece that makes me believe in true love. Nicely done" -- LA Hanes. "Thank you LA." -- R. Bennett. "The title drew me in...but the work was not what I expected. I should learn that you are nothing it not the unexpected! Denial of the forbidden; forbidden but not forgotten- many people share these feelings but can not put them into words. Nicely done." -- Royal D. "Thank you Royal. Sometimes you cannot judge a book by its cover." -- R. Bennett. The Sound Of A Tear by M Q Walters (18) "Absolutely beautiful, soul touching and emotion evoking." -- amanda. "Wow! This poem is profoundly moving in its simplicity, you have expressed so much with so few words, a gift that few poets can master. Your prose are inspiring and I am looking forward to reading more of your work. " -- Robert (Monte) Montesino, Hollywood, Florida, USA. "WOW...what amanda and monte said and more. This is really a sweet poem, and I too look forward to reading the rest of you work!" -- marty, texas. "thanx to all for kind reviews...much welcomed and appreciated" -- mattie, va. "I would agree with the previous reviews. Such a talent for poetry, and the ability to stir peoples hearts and emotions is a true gift. This ability few posses and even fewer realize. " -- Jim. "Yes Jim, few realize but many possess, it's simply the bearing of ones soul sometimes, but few choose to share, thanx for the compliment" -- mattie. "Beautiful!!!" -- Michelle. "Thank you Michelle, this is my favotite of my poems" -- mattie. "Beautiful Mattie! Short and sweet and very poetic,nice job." -- David D. "Thank you David :)" -- mattie. "bravo.....BRAVO...one of the most beautiful poems I've ever read on this site." -- Dri. "Thanks Dri...I am honored!" -- mattie. "It's a nice little poem. I'm not sure it's quite as outstanding as previous reviewers have suggested, but it's short, simple & sweet!" -- peter, uk. "Thank you Peter, I think :)" -- mattie. "you're very good at writing, where are your from? how old are you?" -- Jenny, Toronto, Ontario. "Thank you Jenny, I live in Virginia, and am in my 40's." -- mattie. "i think the fact that its short is what makes it so good. its a beautiful poem." -- Laura, Bristol, uk. "Thank you Laura" -- Mattie. Heather Dream 4,836 by Branson Storm (5) "I fail in my attempt to do a critique on this work, Branson. Your skills are far to great for me to even attempt to find any flaws within the work, in order to help you alleviate them. A question though. Is this the 4,836th dream you've had of her? The title needn't be explained in the narrative poem, but I question it for lack of nothing better to comment on. "There a free editing service will be available, far more effective than what I've been able to do here. Good luck! " -- The Advisor. (2002-3-22) "Thank you. I'll be waiting..." -- STORM, TEXAS, USA. (2002-4-5) "Well Branson, as promised, the website is now up and running at http://home.earthlink.net/~jerryageorge, and though the critique is free as I promised, I still haven't got all the bugs worked out, and I'm afraid it doesn't yet live up to my expectations and likely won't to yours either, but since I did promise I have delivered at the earliest possible date. Now, the current concept I've set up may or may not be to your liking, if so, then say so, it won't hurt my feelings. In fact telling me what's wrong with it and ways that it can be improved for you to better use it would be a help to us all. Tell me what you'd like to see on a site, that you are not getting as of the present, and I'll see if I can make it happen. But it would be better if I can deliver something that no other site can or currently does. I want to give you, and other writers, a reason for actually wanting to come to my site and stay awhile, rather than going to some other site to find the same thing. In any event, I've kept my promise, the rest is up to you Branson.--The Advisor" -- JA St.George. "Hi there, Patina Williams, author of Steel Princess here. I see that big ole mean advisor is bugging you to huh! I think we're quite capable of giving each other reviews without having to go to some other website where we are forced to give each other critiques. I say we can do it here of our own will, and our stories will stay up longer. Although we may not get the type of reviews that we want, but who cares right, at least we freeely try right? Anyhow, here's my review of your work Branson. You seem to be somewhat of a rarity on this site since you seem to actually know how to spell. Hee hee hee! :-) I think it's just mean how these 4,836 different Heathers haunt you in your sleep, that is just mean of them." -- Patina Williams. "This is one of those pieces that needs thinking about. You read it and see some things that you are supposed to take from it, and then you read it again and get some more from it. I like this one. Oh and Pattina if you come back here, I looked for Steel Princess to review and couldn't find it, sorry mate. " -- Sooz, Dalton, Cumbria, England. "I liked this one, Branson. It's not gory (which if I were writing on the subject, it would probably turn out like) and the poem is crafted masterfully. I don't usually enjoy poems that don't rhyme, something buried deep inside me, I guess, but never the less, this I enjoyed." -- Jack Brown. "Hey! You have a great TALENT!!! It was beautiful!" -- Chloe Batey. Whatever Happened To All The Good Ideas? by Roberto J Moreno (3) "I'm not a lover of poetry, but this one really sunk in further than the 'very nice' that often comes to mind. My favourite line was the one about youths trying too hard to communicate. I'm so glad you didn't try to make this rhymme that's my least afvourite kind of poetry. I like this. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "By the way original ideas and theme parks are a sore point with me at the moment :-) those bits made me twitch and dribble" -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "i really agree with most of what you wrote, there are too manny poeple wanting to please, become famose, or just look cool that there's no meaning to what they're doing... i'm 16 and i long for origonality, and to find poeple who want something new, i'm not your average teen, i don't like living with a bunch of clones...everything is main stream, clothes, music,everything! ... lately the music indistry sucks, it's all the same all of it... anyway, i'm blabbing and my point is i like what you wrote... and i agree 100%" -- Carla Thomson, ferndale, Washington, usa. My Angel Online Friendship by Ralph R Martinez (1) "I Loike This Poem My Mean Uncle . lol" -- Domingo, Corpus Christi, United States, Tx. Drive by Wolfa (2) "It was excellent. After reading Pookie, I was scared to go any farther. But I am glad I did!" -- Me. "Heeheehee... thanks for the review. And by the way... I still occasionally get emails about Pookie... :)" -- Wolfa. Unreachable by Clarmila Orpeza (1) "The idea is nice. Some of the lines were a bit too long.The main characters keepchanging, first I get the impression it is a spouse, then a tangible thing, and then something else.Which world is this that wants the person to settle? Is it one person, if so, the word world is inappropriate because the wprld at large cannot offe sound advice really." -- Beverley Nambozo, Kampala, Uganda. Through The Valley by Branson Storm (1) "Hi there Storm. Your work is so rich and untamed, despite your mastery over sound. Could you please check out "Heart of the Storm." Thanks." -- CGL Davies. Placidness by David Soriano (1) "Some slight disagreement between tenses and superlatives, but for the most part well said. Well said, and, by me, well received." -- AJ Magy. Panspermia by David Soriano (1) "Another singularly cohesive piece. Thought provoking in it's simpicity. I've noticed you don't get many reviews; perhaps it's a compliment. Everytime I get a goodly number of reviews it's either uneducated bollocks, or meaningless fluff." -- AJ Magy. Outrun The River by Sue (Sooz) Simpson (3) "Wow, you do so much work Sooz, may I call you Sooz? Hi I'm Patina author of Steel Princess, I was wondering if you'd be interested in a critique trade-off, you know a review for a review. I thought that I'd show my good nature by going first, and you don't have to return the favor, but i'm really hoping that you will. OK so bye bye now! Review: First off I don't know what a "seld of dogs" is. I'm sure it must be important to you though. Hee hee hee! Second �laboured� should be labored. And third what is "terror firmer ice-rafts"?" -- Patina Williams. "Sooz ... guess Patina doesn't know you're a Brit !!! Hence the "laboured"-"labored", thing !! (:o) I found this quite good and will continue to read your offerings ... You reviewed for me, I'm Judith Goff, and I have a couple more on my page if you are interested at all !!! " -- Judi, Tampa, FL, USA. "Olde Sergei�s Review: Congratulatory" -- Cam Davis. Moving On by Elizabeth Jessica Allen (6) "Ummmmmm...........HI LIZZIE! HOW R U????These are deeeeep dude....ette...ummmmmmmmmmmm byeeeeeeeeeee:-)PS-Are you okay???!" -- Nicole, Murbah...still., NSW, AUSTRALIA...still.. "Hey Liz, this is good, but really srong work, I think it is showing or saying something which might be wrong, are you okay? Anyway I enjoyed reading them." -- Courteny Broughton, Murwillumbah, NSW, AUSTRALIA. "ReQuest: Ouch!!! This was completely different to the other set. The emotions seem more frantic? I can understand why people are asking if you are okay. Great work though." -- Your Friend, Brisbane , QLD. "Nice work. Lots of fans down under huh?" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "wow, I want to know more about what happened. This work shows a depth of sadness far beyond the first collection, yet some thoughts still seem incomplete. I see you searching for your voice, and I can't wait to see how you've grown." -- rane, san jose, ca, usa. "Hi, I randomly Googled my name in an idle hour between lectures, and it came up with you. I like Train. I like how the rhythm echoes the sound of a train, the hypnotic motion and the blurring colours and the juble of thoughts it can spawn. Nice. Lovely melancholy." -- Jessica Mary Allen, Cambridge, England. Morlock Clones by David Soriano (1) "This poem is well conceived, and holds together nicely. The only advice I'd offer is this: If "aliens is our mist" is what you intended, or a play on words, so be it. Otherwise, the word is "midst", similiar to "among/amongst"." -- AJ Magy. Masks by M Q Walters (6) "Shattered dreams. I seem to know a bit about that topic." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "And I know a bit too much about that topic" -- mattie. "So many of us wear masks, and i guess sometimes even though people question and become curious, they never really want to see whats behind. I really liked this one and could relate, good work" -- rebecca tantos. "Thanx Rebecca...but to love us (the real us) they have to see behind the mask. :)" -- mattie. "I've worn many masks in my life.Some happy,some sad.I liked this poem and it made me wonder which mask I've worn more often." -- David D. "Wow that is really moving, it is so true that we do use a mask everyday to cover the pain inside, beautifully written." -- Tamsin Butler. Love Of Winter by David Soriano (1) "I really enjoy reading your work, not too many people on here post good stuff...you're one of the rare ones that does." -- Hope, Scranton, PA. Life's Work by Elizabeth Jessica Allen (4) "You have many introductions to many would be poetic expressions. Please try not to kill the meaning of poetry by turning your poems into a patchwork quilt. Better luck next time...PS-don't kill yourself. Maybe you don't love each and every one of those guys-sounds like they're hot flings to me;-)" -- Charlie, Luxembourg, Germany, Swedan. "That was powerful work Elizabeth. Your emotions were transferred which I think is what poetry is about. Smile :D" -- Your Friend, Brisbane, QLD. "a lot of that was rather depressing. You must have been in quite a bit of pain when you wrote these poems. These people that have hurt you must have either been very special or you very fickle to make you feel this way. Good luck with all your future work." -- Vicki, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. "Don't fear the shadows! There is nothing wrong with writing things that may seem to be depressing. See my work for instance." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Leaving On by Branson Storm (5) "Adjuvant? An amazing piece of work, and mind you I'm not getting paid to say that. Your narrative poetry style is amazing, allowing you to be one of the few poets who doesn't rhyme and yet the words maintain music about them. You are one of the few writers I've ever seen, let alone on the board, who can write purple prose without falling into the "I die, I weep, I weep, I die" trap, and letting the violins play in the background (As another prolific poet on this site does). In further regards to my critique website, I'd be interested in your thoughts on the enforced review exchange. Do you think perhaps the biggest problem is not receiving many reviews, at times no reviews at all, and/or weak/useless/hostile reviews? Can a system where a writer may have his/her work posted for a week, in exchange for fully reviewing another writer's material, work? Or would a writer just rather wait around hoping for a good review, or begging for a critique? Do you think the average writer would think it to much effort to do a critique in order to receive a critique, even if they were guided through the process of how to perform a review?--the Advisor " -- JA St.George. "I'd let you travel through my "virgin passage" Oops Did I just say that. Hee! hee! hee! " -- Patina Williams . "Thankyou for leaving your very long note for me! I firstly would like to say I do indeed write for myself, cuz if I didn't write for myself I wouldn't be happy with what I wrote. This is why so many people don't understand my work, cuz it's written my style! ..I'm not sure about the whole thunder thing..I was sure it was that way round but maybe I was wrong, I will check it out and correct if needed. I wasn't very fond of your idea about removing the cat and replacing it with a boy..I didn't quite understand what you meant by that, so I think I'll leave that bit. Anyway your information was very useful, thank you for reviewing my work!" -- C G L Davies. "'Shoving off' seemed jarring with the tone of the rest of this one. Other than that another deep and meaningful that lands just the right side of mushy." -- Sooz, Dalton, Cumbria, England. "For The Advisor (Sorry Branson I know this is your space)On another writing site I do a hell of a lot of reviewing. Sometimes I'll review several pages of stories in a day. It's relaxing and I enjoy spending my off time doing it. However I get really pissed off reviewing for hours and hours and getting absolutely nothing in return, so about twelve months ago, I started putting a very polite sentence at the end of each review saying "If you have time please would you read my ... thanks" I've been slated for doing this, accused of only reviewing to recieve reviews which is not the case. But you find on any site the same people do the work all the time while some people expect to showcase all their own work without ever reviewing a piece of someone elses. I'm all in favour of a bartering system." -- Sooz, Dalton, Cumbria, England. Hearts Clock by Ashley Negrete (1) "hello, found you......... ben" -- seele, england. Emotions Of The Heart by Wantana Tierney (1) "This poem really moved me..." -- Chris, Weipa, QLD, Australia. Bleaching Green by Andrew French (2) "i loved your poem, it is succinct- yet profound in its ability to talk about something that is usually swept into the dark recesses of our society.....i also looked at your web site.." -- patricia. "I think you provided a rare view of addictions....everyone has them, and not all are negative....." -- ann. Ants by Kurt Kitasaki (2) "Ants, traveling through my pants, they make me hoolah dance. Hee hee hee! :-) Message from Patina Williams, author of Steel Princess." -- Patina Williams. "Cute. They are indeed fearsom beasts .. not ants, the rent demanding ones. " -- Sooz, Dalton, Cumbria, England. Young Love by Ralph R Martinez (1) "WOW. Yeah. I am in love with my boyfriend right now and we're both 17. Ok, true, neither of us has died but that's basically how i would feel if something ever happened to him. I'm totally feeling it. " -- claire, norwalk, ct. So, Are We Famous Yet? by Fyona Doyle Latz (3) "ohmygawd!the best poem i have eva read!congratulations!we're bound to see your names in lights!!!!" -- Dee, Australia. "Fanbloodytastic!!" -- cheeseball, Australia. "WOW, Yup, you'll be famouse." -- Fly. Ship Of Fools by M Q Walters (2) "Lie, dreams and broken hearts. My specialty." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "My specialty also..." -- Mattie Walters, va. Politicians by Kurt Kitasaki (1) "good poem." -- Jeanette . Memberwhen by Sue (Sooz) Simpson (2) "Olde Sergei�s Review: Incredible " -- Cam Davis. "A great piece ,powerful ending." -- Stuart Eric Longridge. Marbles by Onederose (1) "I really like this poem like I read it a few weeks ago when you first told me about this site and I kept thinking about it so finally I came back and decided to write you a review. REALLY COOL." -- Dawn Turner. Long Walk Back To Jurassica by Sue (Sooz) Simpson (4) "I am a fan of your work. I like this poem (is it a song?). It has a good rhythm; the rhyme scheme works well. I also liked the subtle mood of Madness!! You implied a detailed backstory that caught and held my interest.:) Good job" -- Wolfa. "Thanks Wolfa, yep it's a song I wrote this, Deep Blue and a few others for an album by a band called Quantum Leap. Thanks for liking it." -- Sooz, Dalton-in-Furness, England, Cumbria. "Olde Sergei�s Review: Astounding " -- Cam Davis. "Thank you. http://members.lycos.co.uk/suesimpson/ " -- Sooz, Dalton-in-Furness, England, Cumbria. Imprisoned Heart by Preston Miles Metz (1) "Very nice" -- Deb Barnett, Mocksville, nc , usa. Dark Oblivion by Jessie Finn (1) "When there is no longer Raison D'Etre one might fall into your Dark Oblivion." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Your Unique Picasso by Fyona Doyle Latz (1) "Very touching and beautiful." -- Mistina. Voices Inside by Jessie Finn (1) "Check out my series entitled "Unbridled Fury." Those voices, I hear them too." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Never Again by Eloise H Anson (1) "this is actually pretty good. i know how you feel. You should try poetry more, youd be surprised how much people will like it." -- who knows. Last Goodbye by Jennifer Mendez (2) "A beautiful piece of work and such a touching piece to me. Keep up the good work. " -- Chuck. "Nice write it always hard to let go- I let what you wrote" -- Celeste. Jesus Fucked A Camel And Now We All Have Gonorrhoea by Ryan Watts (12) "Jesus man!" -- Jummy. "i dont care if your poem was brilliant or not... you don't talk about Him in that way. He is your Savior. " -- Laura, cockeysvll, md, usa. "oi, dont judge ryan, let god cast him down with the sodomites, what have you done to deserve your place in heaven?" -- Jesus Christ, Heaven. "Watt's up with this guy? Satan's probably very proud of your testamony and is holding a place for you. Watt's BLASPHEME?" -- Preston Metz, Reidsville, NC, USA. "And what are you going to do for an encore? There should be one you know. Either write one or do one." -- Fir, SweetlakeCity. "Loved the title. don't worry, im a self confessed athiest or deist (iv yet to make up my mind), but, however, it did not bother me. I understood it, and it is probably one of the few poems that i have enjoyed reading." -- Jack Brown. "for Christ sake,maaan,be careful!are things that bad?like it op not,JESUS LOVES YOU!" -- kennedy. "Mr. Watts I think this poem just punched your ticket to the basement if you know what I mean" -- Steven. "Awesome, fucking awesome. I love how you're writing about what you want to and don't care what anyone says or think. Some people just don't understand freedomm of speech or self expression." -- Moses M. Constable. "Dumbasss!!! But interesting that you think this shit" -- Bryan King. "you r in my prayers and no matter what u say jesus still loves u....................." -- jim, Carbondale, Kansas, USA. "I refuse to read your poem, otherwise l am a worse devil than you. You should not insult a reglious person. Now only you can ask God for forgiveness. I am not christian But l respect all religion." -- Amy, Hayes, UK. Dead by Drevan (2) "Verydramatic,but all the so, very good." -- AB, lon., uk. "i really liked this one... yes, very dramatic and it has a good flow..." -- carla thomson. 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