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Short Stories - Reviews |
Extinction Event by Carey Lenehan (2) "Really cool story. Should be a TV Drama... loved the ending, which brought the whole to a biblical climax... excellent." -- Katrin Tennant, Seattle, WA, USA. "loved this. Great story, scary idea. Wow." -- Shannon Walsh, London. Here And Thereafter by Michael Harris (5) "Please review. This is the beginning of my first attempt at a traditional novel. Please tell me what you think." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "Harris, I can say only one thing about this that I liked - it kept me reading it until the "end". The story line was intriguing, but I think it's because it's so Seinfeld real life. It was like spying on someone's every day humdrum life. The dialogue needs to be reworked. No husband and wife talk to each other that way - no woman gets out of bed with a silver blouse on and then changes into a lounging outfit - I wish I could help you more, other than there are some grammatical errors. Just work on it some more and have some others review it... Deb" -- D. G. Williford. "Hye, Deb! Thanks for the review. It was greatly appreciated. I'm glad that you found at least ONE thing you liked about the story. Thanks again." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "This is really a superb story, u must have to continue this and end up hurry because i have to send this story to my friends." -- Hina Zabta, Multan, Punjab, Pakistan. "Wow, thanks, I'm glad you like the story. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit. Death, Is Only The Beginning by Matthew Resendez (3) "I liked the story so far. it is fast and good to read. please put other chapters soon. Thanks. " -- vivek, rolla, MO, USA. "I liked your story so for it was really good and i would love to read another one" -- Ada Harris. "Thanks for the review. You won't be disappointed as more chapters are soon to come and being typed up at this moment." -- matthew. Visions Of The Mc Nulty (Part One) by Gregory De Feo (1) "it is my best wabe site" -- abdelrahman, ciaro, egypt. The Nightcomers: Chapter 1 - The Coming Of The Night by Robbie Cargill (1) "This is looking good so far. I'm interested to see how it turns out. Bring on the next chapter!" -- Jamie Goetz. Rockfort Island - Chapter Two by C M S Sharpe (1) "The most attracting element in this chapter is the lucidity of the language. Words flow like water in a stream.But isn't it a time we should be away from blood and weapons? Well you may visit my site at http://navallanga.tripo.com I have put two chapters of my first unpublished novel. You will certainlyy find it amusing and page-turning one.--Naval Langa, India." -- NAVAL LANGA, Ahmedabad, Gujarat, INDIA. Rockfort Island - Chapter Three by C M S Sharpe (1) "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... Rockfort Island - Chapter One by C M S Sharpe (1) "Good design! My homepage | Please visit" -- Marla, Italy, Italy, Italy. Recovery. by Megan A Hennessey (1) "You didnt tell me Meg. I've read it, cant exactly leave an unbiased review though can I? Will saying I love it, great work be enough?" -- Deava. Of Montagues And Capulets by Dee Arguera (2) "i can't believe how deep it was. if you really read it and take in the words, it can make you cry like it did to me. great!" -- yoseline. "You know I might have liked it if there was any way of reading it. There is not a link to take me to the story or a link to download it. " -- Samantha Nelson, Marion, Indiana, South Bend. Harbour Hell by S M Murray (1) "I thought that Harbour Hell was a good novel. It was a it too gory but that made the action great. I live in Sydney so i can easily identify the areas- such as the sniping point, the boat and missile launch and the bridges posistion." -- Thomas Ardent, Sydney, NSW, Australia. Eleanor's Journey, Chapter 1 by E P (1) "Start reviewing others work, as they have made the effort...Too many people write, not enough review..be fair and you'll be rewarded." -- Buxton. Daughter Of The Moon by Amaranth Knight (2) "you need to think oyur words moreclearly. hte story i think you intend to portray is a little too serious for the part Caesarian plays. i don't think egyptians said, " you were like AAAA!" maybe a little more. . ." -- yoseline. "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... The Million Dollar Detective by T C Lambert (3) "i am interested in your site" -- talal, hims, hims, syria. "i like how you try to keep it real, but as of yet no real action. having a dilemma to fix can get you a lot to work from. but i love it and dish more out to me cuz i'll gobble it up!" -- yoshi, frederick, MD, U.S.. "You are damn writer,I like your Style but what about remaining Story? Complete it man!!" -- Abbas Saqib, Karachi, Pakistan, Sindh. Legends Of Dacot ( Rise Of A Forgotten Myth) by Katherine E Krahl (5) "its good but not well thought out... the storyline is good and well structured... and i like the characters. very promiseing." -- brittany. "The story had captivated me on its first half of the first part... It has a mystery that would drive you into it... I also liked the character of the "street rat" Meirach... (Nice name!) But i am bit confused with the pacing in the latter part of page 1, but the story is promising though like brittany has said, I'll submit my second review when I have finished reading the second part, your work is very interesting... Be inspired always! God Bless!" -- shaoranstars55 "drix", Las Pi�as City, Philippines. "Hey, I have read your story and I think that it was a very good read, I would like you to complete the end of the story, I printed it out and told my friends about it and they like it aswell" -- James Beyerle, Melbourne, Victoria, Ausralia. "this is a good site for me" -- saeed, islamabad, islamabad, pakistan. "this is agood site for me" -- saeed, islamabad, islamabad, pakistan. From The Bottom Of My Heart: Please Don't Let Me Fall Off The Stage by Ashleigh E Rolen (1) "nice story...cool plot..." -- sam. A Step Backwards by Wajiha Kk (2) "A lot of us have to deal with more than we should and it is far from far. I liked this, some of the words were a little colloquial but I guess it fits in well with this story because it is about your life. All in all a good read and you are very talented for 14, hope the next editions to your story take a happier turn" -- Rebecca Tantos. "Sad, but well written, story over all but i don't like the comment about a blind person's life being dark, cause its not." -- klc. Laams (Love Apon A Moon Sky) by Matthew Robert Stovell (3) "i think this is an exelent story as soon as i started reading i could't stop i think its very good and think he should keep writting storys" -- jojo, ashford, kent, rnglad. "its a great story there are a few minor mistakes in it.It is a great tale of love with some good vilence in it i can tell that the person who wrote it has watched underworld.Overall it is a brilliant story and i would give it a 7 or an 8 out of 10." -- tim barker, ashfrod, kent, england. "hey, i would like to point out that this book is a joint effort, myself and matthew stovell are doing this, so you can see the excepional mix of writing techiniques, so stovell, stop hoggin all da glory lol" -- Tony Sayers - Author. Ze Zen Ta Continue by E Rocco Caldwell (1) "Hiya, Rocco. Long time, no see. I see your'e hanging in there, just like me. Catch ya later. Doc" -- david brian , vincennes , usa, ind.. Shadow In The Corner Chapter 2 by Krista Taylor (1) "thats daed gd babe" -- Ash. Invisible Universe by Gregory J Christiano (1) "Wow! That was some superb writing! Really, it was easily some of the best on this site. I can see why you're published. Keep it up!" -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. Invisible Universe - Chapter Ii - First Contact by Gregory J Christiano (1) "This proved to be quite good. It wasn't--to me--as good as the first chapter, but it definitely had its moments. All in all it was a fantastic effort. Keep it up." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. Invisible Universe - Chapter Iii - Myth! by Gregory J Christiano (3) "Nice. I especially liked how you ended the chapter. Let's see how the protag handles the situation with an advanced alien species. Keep it up." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "This is good." -- Michelle. "An imaginative story,i like it.But it do not seem to end here,when we can read it all?thanks." -- sunkaiyuan. Chapter 1 Of Shadow In The Corner by Krista Taylor (1) "this sort of reminds me of firestarter and Carrie! I like it so far!" -- e. rocco caldwell. Box Office Bust Chapter 1 by Steven T (1) "This is the first chapter of my new story "Box Office Bust". I've written the whole thing and I am in the process of typing it. I just wanted to show people a little bit of what I've been working on for over a year" -- Steven. The Symbolic Cycles Of Zep-Tepi.Part 1.Mother Earth by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Hi, The idea is great but.... do some research on Zep-Tepi,here we seem to be reflecting Zecharia Sitchin? The story of Zep Tepi, the island of fire,the IHT relics that could turn back the Nile, Amun,Shu, Geb, Horus,Seth,The Ennead,These are the most important part of Zep Tepi, then you will find the rest falls into place.Kind regards Diana Venditti " -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Thankyou for your review,i do know what it is your communicating to me and its certainly appreciated as not many understand real ancient history and myth,but the title (The symbolic cycles of Zep-tepi is representing the whole jig-saw puzzle of earth and there are other chapters to be posted yet and maybe you will see something in them which connects to your understandings.I have taken my research from (all)sources ,because no-one can be quite sure what is right or wrong ,because its all so clouded,its the people that swear blind that their beliefs on this subject are the only true version that worry me ,as it makes something which triggers the consciousness into awakening into something as mundane as a structured religion.But thankyou very much for your interest.peace" -- the author. The Symbolic Cycles Of Zep-Tepi-The Introduction. by Stuart Eric Longridge (4) "Do you think the world is ready for this holistic body of works which seems to be highly intellectual and will appeal to the same. Mighty deep for the masses don't you think? Do you plan to try to publish or do you have a marketing strategy yet? I do wish you well my Irish friend; I like your boldness and your starkness...I pray for your success. " -- Brion' O Neil. "I haven't seen any of your stuff til now. Just read about a dozen of your poems. You have some pretty deep, bizarre, meaningful, wild stuff there! Of all I just read, I like it all! If you put out a book, put me down for a copy - and one for a friend! Good luck! PS - have a look at some of my stuff, if you don't mind. Yours would be an opinion I would pay heed to! You too Brion! Cheers..." -- jersey mike, belgium. "mike....I thought the same; meaningful and inspirational... and i wondered if the world was ready for it too..... in fact most people i know cant read it.. because there minds cant take it... but i wonder if hes trying to reach the massess... theres alot of info out there for the masses ......dont know..... i think theres enough people out there who are ready for more complicated reading? hell succeed........ we all create our reality huh." -- Bridget. "I think it's good too. Can i draw the front cover i've been practicing doing Planets. And Whales too but their eyes are really tricky cause they're so far back. xxoo" -- Huesavio Kieht. Smith & Ronalds-Origins & Conclusions by Patrick Collins (3) "I will say this again, you show tremendous potential for being only fourteen, and your crime stories have inspired me to even try my hand at a story similar to yours. Heck, you've even made me want to read crime fiction, something I've never been keen to do! I've also noticed that you don't use swearing in your works, something that I myself don't do. I'm wondering though: Why is this particular police precinct investigating a crime that took place in California? Shouldn't it be left up to the cops in Cali? "He was a man with an overly casual dress style and was know to be obsessed with pop-culture items." That should read, 'known to be'. �How everything going Carrie?� That should read, 'How's everything going, Carrie?" "It Hector when he was but a boy." That should read, 'It was Hector...' "All of then shook their heads, curiously." That should read, 'All of them...' "He extended his right had and turned it off." That should read, 'He extended his right hand...' "Today was his first on his new case" That should read, 'his first day...' "It took Hector while to figure out what she meant by �Kill you�." That should read, 'It took Hector awhile...' "But it wasn�t as far fetched, as it seemed." The comma should be deleted. �Where are Trevor and David?� That should be, 'Where is...' �He�ll be okay.� She said." You mean to say that they aren't concerned that he'll bleed to death? I must say this also, this is probably your second best entry in the series, coming in following the very first entry. Good job. Keep up the magnificence. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "I am so glad that my stories have entertained you so much! It really makes me happy to hear this! Okay the reason there isn't any swearing is actually because I don't want my parents to be mad. There are places where I wanted to, and I think there are places where a cop would NEVER say 'darn' or dang'. But I feel a bit uncomfortable using cuss words. The reson they investigated Hectors case in Cali was because of a scene I completley forgot to write (it will be added shortly) where David insists on being a part of the case, and Georgeton gives in, nervously though. About the part where Derek Georgeton is bleeding, they just want to figure out where their friends are a LITTLE bit more than worry about the welfare of that jerk! He makes it though. I am wondering how much you liked the character of Ella Begri? Because she is my personal fave. Thanks again!!!" -- Collins. "Wow, you're only 14? You show a lot of poetential. Nice job." -- km. Bpd: Danger Rising-Part 1 by Patrick Collins (3) "Another solid entry in your series, Collins. This one, though, probably ranks as fourth or fifth in the overall series. It was good, but I liked parts one and four the best. Ok, here's my criticisms. There aren't too many of them. Ok, here goes: "there for making it easy to rob homes and banks and so on." That should read, 'therefore. "A long last, his desk-bell beeped." That should read, 'At long last...' "and I can hardly hear because...� He paused again. �...Because I am missing half of my ear." A person missing part of their ear has no bearing on their ability to hear. "Nobody in the world would even think one of America�s most wanted criminals." That should read, 'No one in the world would even think he was one of America's most wanted criminals.' "Finally, on the fifth day of him trip to Indiana..." That should read, '...on the fifth day of his trip...' "He got in his car (which had stolen of course)" That should read, 'which he had stolen of course...' "I was sent to kill you, you be honest, and kill you I shall." That should read, 'to be honest, and kill you I shall.' �A shooting has just accrued...� That should read, 'occured.' �To some it up...' That should read, 'To sum it up...' 'and through it down into the water...' That should read, 'and threw it down...' 'Ounce he was in the car I went further down the path to meet you a Silver Town,' That should read, 'at Silver Town...' �Instead of trying punish innocent people..." That should read, 'Instead of trying to punish...' "Silence. Quite." I think you mean here, 'Quiet.' Good job. Keep it up. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "Thanks again for your kind opnion. I never thought that anyone would come to like my works so well! Its great! I finished the Deluded Youth, but I havent had time to review it yet, but I will say I liked it alot. Yeah, I think the fact that I decided to post this when it was only half done was a bad idea. This was going to be my longest, but since you were reading all of my stuff, I decided to split it since it isn't finished yet. You can probably see already why I changed the name of the series, really Smith and Ronalds are hardly in this one, as a matter of fact, Ronalds is NOT in this one. I just might correct the ear thing, but you could always take it as him being frustrated and saying stuff to further his point a bit, bit I still might change it. You could probably see my Tarentino influence in this one, huh? With the non linear way I did it. I think this one was to try and make a turning point in the series, I don't know if I did it as well I as I would have liked, but oh well. See I am gradually shifting the story over so that it can run smoothly into my original movie plot, which will conclude the series." -- Collins. "Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., .... Pieces Of The Pie by E Rocco Caldwell (1) " "He looked up at the black sky remembering his mother's pies and holding the hand of his girlfriend just before the night of the broken glass and the horror all began when Germany closed its eyes and fell asleep." F*cking Amazing. Well written work Rocco. You know what you are talking about. This is brilliant. Excellent excellent work. " -- ryan severud. Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 |
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