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Short Stories - Reviews |
The Power Of Jesus Christ by Reverend Dr Lance (1) "I am happy to say that I hv been baptised a Catholic. I hope your message reaches all people in this world who have not yet encountered Jesus. Thank you. May God bless u in your ministry" -- avis, Mumbai, India. God Is Not The Enemy! by Reverend Dr Lance (5) "How true Reverend... I sent this to a friend who I knew should read it. I hope she reads the message as clear as you sent it. God bless you for your words!" -- Jackie, California. "Dear Jackie, Thank you for your kind words! They are sincerely appreciated! I hope this article has a profound effect on those who have not yet stopped to look introspectively and then think as well as consider that indeed, God is *Not* the enemy. Thanks again!" -- Reverend Dr. Lance, U.S.A.. "Thank you sir, Your words are light. May God bless you." -- avis, Mumbai, India. "An interesting piece, i like the angle that you have taken and it seems to be a fair commentary, At least i have finally met someone one this site that is actually educated in the doctine of not just Christianity but also spirituality, an important facet to one who preaches. As most that i have discussed things with are to recalcitrant in their views and their dispositions are seldom touched or even chiseled through to! If you would like to continue this exchange please chuck me a line at [email protected]. Cheers mate. " -- Hugh, Newcastle, Australia. "Hello! Nice message and very encouraging! can I put your message on my blog? I will put your name and your link (this link) on my blog. Thx" -- Alice, Jakarta, Indonesia. A Daily Reflector And Self-Motivator by Reverend Dr Lance (1) "Thank you!" -- Avis, Mumbai , India. So,What's It Gonna Be? by Dream Rinsed (1) "yumi" -- midgetem, nsw, Australia. The Progenitor by W N Dayley (1) "I am a big fan of sci fi...this was a good write, dragged a bit here and there...more?" -- mattie. Remember...Do You Remember? by Monica L Sprague (2) "this seems to have taken a great deal of courage to write, so sad but nicely told." -- curious. "Very nice indeed. hi Curious!" -- km. Our First Meeting by Avis (1) "The thing that stuck to me after reading your thoughts, was your imagination and the ability to express them. It is a good start, specially looking at the fact that these were penned almost 2 years back. I am positive you must have improved a lot during this time." -- Abu, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India. When I Was Eight by Monica L Sprague (1) "This is so intense and so moving and so well written. I was with her on that horrible journey. So so touching x" -- Briony. Silly Little Tood by Eric H (2) "this was freaking HILARIOUS!!! i loved it!!-Bethany!!!!! Dude this was really funny but have you considered seeing a therapist?? I mean that is really bad those guys are totally awesome and sexy!!--love Jordan" -- Jordan and Bethany . "This was funny monster " -- Jeanette . Ode To A Could've Been Friend by M Q Walters (3) "really well presented ,if only you could slow this down in the heat of the moment and express this into words then ,it would save alot of grief later ,nice write have a great day" -- fh, canada. "I'm sure if it was just a misunderstanding he wont stay mad for long. Knowing dudes he probably deserved it anyway." -- kwilt. "thanks fh, you're right, sometimes I really let my ugliness show...and kendall, I think probably he didn't deserve it...and I hope he doesn't stay mad at all." -- mattie. How To Perpertrate Prejudice Without Really Trying by Jenny Short (3) "I know who you are and I'm coming to get you. Okay? Mr. Sea I presume? I know where you live and what car you drive. I see you walk the halls. Don't be afraid of me. The more you resist, the more I want you in my clutches you nasty little girl, or boy...JTS!!!" -- A Black Man. "I usually think it was a man - statistics show it is - to think it is a black man is wrong....shame on you for thinking that as I don't know anyone who does." -- me. "Yeah, I can see your point. Everyone knows that even though more than 65% of men in prison are black, most of them are really innocent. You are a typical stupid, silly, touchy, feely, female who should never be permitted to vote, drive, or procreate. (not necessarily in that order)" -- Andre'. Love, English Style (Chapter Twelve) by Caroline Woodson (1) " Oooooo......I love the restaurant scene. You're doing great." -- AG, Oklahoma. Love, English Style (Chapter Thirteen) by Caroline Woodson (1) " Ohhhhhhh.....yeah!!!!! Sooooo good!" -- AG, Oklahoma. Love, English Style (Chapter Ten) by Caroline Woodson (1) " Wow! That was hot, hot, hot! I love this!" -- AG, Oklahoma. Love, English Style (Chapter Nine) by Caroline Woodson (1) " I'm still loving this. Glad you posted more chapters! Keep going please." -- AG, Oklahoma. Love, English Style (Chapter Fourteen) by Caroline Woodson (4) " More...I want more!!" -- AG, Oklahoma. " I've read chapters 1-14....can't wait until you post more. I'm hooked too!" -- AB, Arkansas. "I too have read chapters 1-14. They are great and I thoroughly enjoyed them.I hope there's more to come. Where do you get your imagination?" -- AG, California. "Once I started reading, I couldn't stop. I have enjoyed it thoroughly...I hope there's more to come." -- ML, Washington. Love, English Style (Chapter Eleven) by Caroline Woodson (1) " This just keeps getting better and better." -- AG, Oklahoma. Love, English Style by Caroline Woodson (2) "This is a great start. Makes me want to read more." -- ST, Texas, USA. "Great first chapter. " -- ML, Washington. Love, English Style (Chapter Two) by Caroline Woodson (2) " Still enjoying the story. I lived in east Texas for a while and it's nice to read something set in that area. I loved living there. Keep going." -- ST, Texas, USA. " Where in east Texas did you live?" -- CW. Love, English Style (Chapter Three) by Caroline Woodson (2) " This keeps getting better. I love the kissing booth scene." -- ST, Texas, USA. "the second last line a bit inappropriate, I felt...considering I've read a million romances but the rest is great. good work girl." -- avis. Love, English Style (Chapter Six) by Caroline Woodson (1) " Wow, that was hot! I got a little hot!" -- ST, Texas, USA. Love, English Style (Chapter Seven) by Caroline Woodson (3) "I agree w/Ms Taggert, we all need a bad boy in our lives at some point. And I like the easy closeness between Hannah and her cousins. Please, I want more." -- ST, Texas, USA. "Yes, the kissing booth scene (in another chapter) is my favorite, I think. This is really, really good. I know it will get published." -- Kim. "I'm loving this story! Keep writing. " -- SG, Henderson, TX. Love, English Style (Chapter Four) by Caroline Woodson (2) " Still good. Keep it coming." -- ST, Texas, USA. "wow..this is getting very good...the flashbacks make it suspensful..keep it up!" -- SC. Love, English Style (Chapter Five) by Caroline Woodson (1) " I like hearing from the man's point of view too. I'm starting to really like these characters." -- ST, Texas, USA. Love, English Style (Chapter Eight) by Caroline Woodson (3) " Well I'm really enjoying this story. I think you have a good chance of publishing this." -- AG, Oklahoma. " This hooked me from the first paragraph. I don't know why more people aren't reading your stuff. It's great. Are there anymore chapters?" -- F. G., Houston, USA. " There are more chapters in "New Titles"....I'm glad you like it. " -- CW. The Best Man by Caroline Woodson (5) " I like the way your write. This was very hot!" -- AG, Oklahooma, USA. "Always enjoy reading your stories. Very good. Good concept and well written." -- Kim. " Really good short story. I thought it was great." -- F. G., Houston, USA. " This was great from beginning to end. " -- AB, Arkansas. "My friend suggested I come here and read your posts and I'm so glad I did. Awesome!" -- MS, Washington. My Bilingual Marriage (Humor) by Steven L Howard (4) "bravo, wonderful. Oh, how I understand you, Steven. Hugs" -- dri. "Great anecdotes of how language can be so hard to learn. Coming from India, I know how hard it can be learn new languages; India has a national language and its 25-odd states all speak different languages!! And of course, we have learned to mix two languages just like "I'm bab mogot-ing, mom." Great funny story." -- Pratik, Melbourne, FL, USA. "Enjoyed your story a lot. Thanks for writing it. My wife is South American, so, we've been through a lot of what you are talking about. Always speak to your kids each of you in your native language(but no pressure) and they will grow up completely bilingual. We did and it worked. " -- Barfield. "My children are bilingual. I remember once how an English woman on hearing my six year old speaking two lanuages said that how clever he was. my pet, my African Grey is Bilingual! " -- Amy, Hayes, Middlesex, UK. Wednesday Ecstasy - Erotica Attempt by Josh Anderson (16) "OMG!!!!! HOW OLD ARE YOU?? I HAVE TO GO BATHE IN BLEACH!! JUST KIDDING..........THAT WAS REALLY GOOD LOL, DID I SAY REALLY??" -- km. "HAHAHA, I'm 16 almost 17 :-P and LOL, thanks for the great review, seems I got you excited HAHA!" -- Josh / AxeY. "dont say that!! u could be my kid...well, almost. LOL" -- KM. "ROFLMAOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! next time ill just say 40 :-P that saves me i think LOL, once again thanks for reading this piece, means a lot to me! Cheers!" -- Josh / AxeY. "dude i'm not that old! lol it was a good piece, thats what make a good writer. you can appeal to all ages." -- km. "Josh, spectacular. Not to mention raunchy in a very good way LOL. love ya man. :)" -- Desi. "ehehehehehe i wasnt saying ur 40 :-P i was saying maybe i can 'be' 40 for entries like this lol j/k. Thanks for the great feed back and Desi, thank you also for the review!" -- Josh / AxeY. "that was an exulent story... i think i had an orgasim just reading it, lol...jk." -- Carla, Washington st.. "Why thank you! ^_^ lol @ ur comment =P thanks for reading this piece Carla, cheers." -- Josh / AxeY. "Thanks...i guess you can call this internet porn...let me get some popcorn so i can read it again. " -- Bryan King. "hehehe, thankss for the comment lol, hope the popcorn was yummy =P haha" -- Josh / AxeY. "Joshua, next time you say something to me about my comments i am just gon bring this one out. Possibly about a certain...... experience you had with a particular lady??????? Peace, the Shekespere Makaveli" -- Hugh. "P.S I wrote one of these once as well, but decided not to publish it :) !!!!" -- Hugh. "lol... a shut up you.... and yes it was... one i wish never to have again with THAT particular person... could write some newer stuff about someone else... muahahahahah, but i think its a little to X rated for this site :P, later man" -- Josh / AxeY. "Ahh, of course. Enough said perhaps??? Peace" -- Hugh. "you're a dumbass. go jackoff" -- cintia. Scrap Metal by Staci L Cockill (3) "this story is dry, would have been better had there been more to the plot." -- john. "What music prefer?" -- Steeve, New York, CA, united states. "Interesting concept. Lacking in details, though. Too fast-paced. Perhaps some more material on the emotional sid eof her father's departure. Or description of the aliens, i.e. how they met them, etc. Good start." -- W. N. Dayley, Winchester, VA, USA. Lamark's Syndrome by Bradley Kabbash (1) "Very interesting. Reflects the inner fears of most stay at home Dads, and adds a humorous angle to it." -- jkeylay. Today Is Not A Good Day by Sarin (5) "This was a lovely letter. very very amusing and great fun to read. the author has a fast/gripping style and also seems to be in love! Great work. Do post some more of your efforts. " -- jane, Indiana. "Casually written and funny yet with a serious edge. Makes the reader want to know more about the author and the special person mentioned therein. Wonder about this cyber relationship. You should continue writing....ciao " -- Suz, Sharjah, UAE. "If this is a true life story then I think Sarin you must meet this girl Glancy and work things out probably that would make your day..trust me it will!! :)" -- Jits. "super. can u please post ur other letters. what happens next?? This makes a great love story." -- Caitlin, Provence. Till Death Will Do Us Part by Maria Alessandra Mace (1) "Hi Maria: I'm an English Teacher - quite bored on a Friday night. I just read your story. I'm impressed with your knowledge of how a woman reacts in such emotionally-charged situations (ie. suspecting one's spouse of adultery). I'm sure you've never lived through an experience such as that so it proves great skill in observation and comprehension. That alone will make you a great writer. Cheers... " -- leanne, islip, NY, US. Mdern Myths And Urban Legends Part Two by David B Doc Byron (2) "Not your best work "Doc"... unless you were trying for only a comical theme!!! I don't believe it fit the horror genre, after reading it again - it is pretty humorous... the caps take away from the horror... missing 'o' in title! Read CRIMSON and CLOVER (about rape) You will enjoy!" -- Reagan Rothe. "Honestly I thought this was a great one. The caps really add emphysism. I like it. Being that im a girl i got creeped out. But Reagon Rothe, if u think this is comical read a screanplay called ATTACK and i bet you that you will think this is horror and that one should be comedy. Good work Doc" -- Sarah. Doc's Movie Review - ''Mark Of The Devil '' by David B Doc Byron (1) "Siskle and Ebert who?" -- Michelle. Doc's Movie Review; ''Last House On A Dead End Street'' by David B Doc Byron (2) "The "moral equilibrium" was added by the ridiculously stupid distributors. They were worried the youth of America would imitate the murders. Stupid asses. Perhaps someone will kill them if they are not dead already." -- Roger Watkins, NYC, NY, USA. "Very good site! I like it! Thanks!" -- Celeste, Ahvaz, Ahvaz, San Marino. Movie Review - By: ''Doc'' by David B Doc Byron (2) "Well, I've just finished up my work for now here at Storymania, but before I left for another extended period I wanted to give a review of this review. It's difficult to judge approximately where this movie fits Doc. It kind of straddles two different genres, the Thriller and the Horror. A few movies are like that, is Alien a Horror film or a Sci/Fi film? Since Maniac has heavy elements of Horror in it, I suppose it would be acceptable to list it in the category of Horror. But for a better movie of the same type I'd personally recommend Dressed to Kill. Dressed to Kill is pretty low on my list of must-see movies, but it is a notch above the highly obscure Maniac." -- JA St. George. "Hey Doc. Check for typos..."In the winter of 1980, long beofre the long" in the first line." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. I Drove Up The Hill by Tunde Alabi-Hundeyin Ii (1) "This is a brilliant piece- well written and very descriptive. I can say this because I attended this same school and I know how it all went.. Tunde great job." -- dolamu, winnipeg, Manitoba, canada. Jesus Save Us by Janice Porter Hayes (6) "I'm not religious so therefore didn't fancy this one, but it was short and I'd like to review as many pieces as I can get through in an hour or so. But it's beautiful. Your description is aptmospheric and even for a non worshipper it was filled with I don't know the 'holy light' or something of one who has faith. I always envy people who truly believe and believe without proof. I thought the side story of you finding your daughter was facinating and I really enjoyed reading this. It readas more of a journal entry than anything else. When I read something very often a single word come to me which best describes the piece and this time the word is 'Hope' 8/10" -- Sooz, Dalton-in-Furness, England, Cumbria. "I found this story very touching. The descriptions of the people and places is very well done. I found myself wanting to see you "kalaidescope" for myself! Well done." -- Nancy Wreetman. "A very well written piece documenting your fascinating journey and focusing on the message that through faith there is hope! A delightful read and my thanks to you for posting it! " -- Robert "Monte" Montesino, USA. "I enjoyed this story as I have recently returned from Kazakhstan where I was doing work for the Peace Corp. The feeling of spiritual revival you mention is really true. People seem to be waking from a long sleep and are finding themselves again, in all ways. Bless you for writing this and for adopting your child. A great read from a great write." -- Mark DeLaHay. "This was a beautiful story. I have been involved with a group that sends packages to orphanages in Kazakhstan for a couple of years now. A friend adopted her daughter from there too, a lot of people think she was adopted from China. Thank you for a wonderful read... " -- ruaidh, Scotland. "A beautiful story about the blessing of hope in a world that often feels dark. I have a sister who adopted a child from Russia. She mentions many of the same things you do in this story. Thanks for writing it " -- Penny , Midway, Utah, usa. Two Worlds Part 2 by Sarah Somebody (1) "First of all Sarah I apologise for my review on the first part. 'The Author' was quite right I could have been more helpful, my only excuse is that I was tired when I wrote it and felt that a general gut impression of the story was better than no review at all. I'm also sorry about the second comment which will problably not make much sense to you. I think there was a technical glitch. My dear friend 'The author' obviously posted his complaint about my review on your story, but for some unbeknown reason it appeared not on yours, but on one of MY stories .. odd. Right on to your work. Firstly I think you really grabbed the story by the horns in this second part. The first part though I admit I didn't read it again it was too long, but I did re-skim it, is far better than I gave you credit for in my first review, I said that I liked it, which I did. I could have gone further and said how much I liked it. Which leads me to another small point. I do most of my reading at night, I'm usually past my best by then, so am I doing right by people? I read the second part this morning and felt much more alert and got into it far better. So the point I'm making is that although the first part is fantastic (I stand by my comment about needing editing) I enjoyed the second part more. But in retrospect I don't think the second part is actually any better then the first. "It was as if the whole town was composed of nature" (EAM) that is my favourite sentence, it's beautiful. Your imagination is stunning. It made me sad though that the unicorn had become slave to the dwarfs. I always see unicorns as the ultimate symbol of emancipation the beast who can never be captured or tamed and yet still maintain it's incredible gentle nature. Just another sign of the times I suppose...bloody dwarfs. "We both busted out laughing" (EAM) small nit time again. I hated this sentence. everything you described before was written in such pretty words and phrases, the writing upheld the feeling of the fantasy, then you come out with busted out laughing and it shattered the mood of the piece. I like that in the end the only visible difference, the thing that ultimately gave her away was something as simple as the colour of her eyes. It put me in mind of the 'blue eyed children, brown eyed children experiement and that seemed quite fitting. Brilliant story, well written, still needs and edit (their, there) Loved it 9/10. Hope I was more helpful this time. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. Two Worlds Part 1 by Sarah Somebody (3) "Really good story, nicely told. Lots of nitty little typos and gramatical erors but nothing that a good edit wouldn't sort out. I'm the world's worst for typos so have no room to talk. Looking forward to part two tomorrow. " -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "I think one of us is missing something here, The Author. Sorry to state the obvious but that isn't a review it's a story. I admit a complete load of drivel of a story but a story none-the-less. For my reviews I sugest you check *other* people's work Duh! Will I ever do anyrthing right? Will anyone ever think quietly to themselves, damn that Sooz seems like a nice woman? Will I ever eat pizza and not put on half a stone overnight? No probably not." -- Sooz, Dalton, England, Cumbria. "You are an excellent writer, Sarah Somebody, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here, such as from this Sooz Simpson person. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado. For Katie by Joseph Robert Herrick (1) "Aww that was really pretty. I'm posting some of my stuff up here today so feel free to look if you want!" -- C G L Davies, Cardiff, South Wales , UK. Entity 1, Section 1, Part A (Prime Locutions Shuffling) by WinstonE (3) "Alright class, please take note on how this is a fine example of how one should not write. The author of this piece believes him/herself to be a "pioneer" in the field of literary endeavor, but please notice how he/she so obviously and easily confuses and then completely loses the reader by making absolutely no sense. The point of a work is to be clear, even if the piece isn't specific." -- Professor. "I guess the author wants us to translate this or something. Well, I'll give it a shot. I think it's about a 40 year old guy who likes little boys. I could be wrong, but how the hell can you tell with this thing." -- Bob. "For all Storymania readers and writers, this is actually pretty decent criticism of this story. The two critics get right to the point of the flaws of the work, and though they insult it, they are criticizing the work and not the writer, which is the way it should be when doing a critique." -- Tad. Poek by Olef Ransom Saulles (1) "For a minute I thought you were talking about life before Hoffmann Estates." -- R. Bennett. An American Summer by Olef Ransom Saulles (2) "Dear Saulles An American Summer Early in the text you told the reader that the work is only of interest to your wife and yourself. I have to say that you are wrong on this point. Speaking personally I was interested to read about your drive across America (or some of America). I am in the UK. My view is that the writing has potential but needs some work to make it more appealing to others, and easier to read. I hope you find the comments helpful, if not they are well intended. Beginnings You have to grab the readers attention and make them want to read on. Describing your passenger without immediately identifying her does this , it made me curious. I didn`t understand the part about the darkness. I think rather than learning about your practical preparations, I would have liked to know briefly why you were going. Preparations are tiring and stressful, maybe for the benefit of the reader you could focus less on that and more on the feelings of freedom and release from stress when you left. I think that people read to escape the humdrum, and a piece like yours to escape, i.e. in their imagination they want to be where you are going. The main text As this is an account of a drive this is a useful way of moving the writing along. To obtain the interest of outsiders I think you should focus more on things that are out of the ordinary, and how , for example the landscape changes as you drive through it. How does this affect you. How does it affect your relationship, if at all. Dialogue may help here. There are lots of facts and figures, eg. dates, names, that I thought didn`t work. If you want to show the movement of the trip by date maybe this would work better by headings. I`m not sure. Ref. the car being full, better I think to say so, "e.g. the boot was bursting" rather than individually listing items. Why were you tired of Deer? This would interest me? Did you run out of toilet rolls? This could be funny. I don`t think it`s necessary if you want to attract readership to account for all your movements, just the ones that moved you. The End How did the trip affect you. What was your most significant part. Would you go again, would you recommend it? I hope the above ideas are helpful to you. I am also an amateur writer, but am a fairly normal person that reads the above type of article. Good luck, keep writing !!!! Best wishes," -- Jennifer Hill. "I hate running out of toilet rolls, especially after a nice hearty dump!" -- R. Bennett. |
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